Special Ed Stories w/ Danny Mullen | PKA

i was at a i got my hair cut today and as i was coming out from the haircut area where they're like all right well take your payment out front i went out there and there was a mom and her adult son in front of me so i was waiting behind him the adult son had down syndrome and he was hilarious keep going he was dressed like someone from sons of anarchy and when i say like someone from sons of anarchy i mean he had a leather vest on the plaid shirt like the blonde guy from the main thing he it had the [ __ ] emblem of sons of anarchy on his back with like the the hammer and the sickle and things he had rings on and when he like when his mom was done paying or whatever and she was like all right let's go and he turned towards me i saw he even had a redwood original patch on his chest and it just cracked me the [ __ ] up like i it was hard for me not to laugh standing there cuz there's a guy with down syndrome just jacked out in sons of anarchy like a literal character and in my head i'm like that's [ __ ] hilarious today he decided to dress up like this and then i was like no he has down syndrome every day he dresses up like a redwood original you know with [ __ ] i don't think he had like one of the vice president or like titles underneath it but oh man that gave me quite a game on the thread you do you have the clarity of mind to even put together such a an outfit like that or was it a parent who's a huge fan of sons of anarchy i think well there are varying levels of down syndrome like woody's pointed this out many times they're like some levels they're smart enough that they'll pretend to be [ __ ] to get favors which is the funniest kind of downside that's me yeah that's what i do as a res that's the resident [ __ ] i won't pretend to do that but there are also like down syndrome levels where you're right like they like they're too debilitated from the retardations to do that yeah from the retardation seeing that guy with the [ __ ] sons of anarchy patch a redwood original the exact same kind of plaid that whatever the main guy in that show wears and wearing rings on top of it like he's going to start brawling with people with that strength you know it it just i don't know it's strange it was so funny so [ __ ] funny seeing that guy i hope next time i get my hair cut he's there too down syndrome people are not strong yeah that's actually like a thing they they have like problems developing i think core strength all kinds of stress yeah and it impacts they usually late walkers for that reason too they're just like physically they're they're not athletic people no no shocking not very smart either [Laughter] and they make up but they make up for with their academic prowess and they're hygiene they're nice hey the guy had a nice ass haircut and he smelled good so i um i i my mom's a special ed teacher so i have a lot of material here i'm hesitant to unleash though because you said you had a special needs son i do yeah dude well i see i'm new to this show and i'm feeling a little tongue-tied just throwing out the shots that you guys are throwing out but uh no you're you're fine i okay i i volunteered for a third grade or i don't think it was there was any kind of grades they just it was a congregation of the most severely mentally and physically handicapped people i've ever seen before and i remember there was one girl who had a head that looked like an upside down flower vase and she was completely in a completely vegetative state being pushed around in a wheelchair for exercise one day out on the blacktop and that image has been seared in my head it looked like an upside down flower vase and uh i just wanted to share that i think you guys she was being pushed around for the exercise yeah he was exercising in this situation i did brain stimulation i don't know what was happening yeah who was exercising that's uh i've got nothing to say i'm done there's no punch line to that story i just i saw that girl once on a scale of one to i really [ __ ] oh you you [ __ ] dreams i thought that's where you were asking me [Laughter] now she was [ __ ] but solid eight point five nice nice tits she had no teeth how could i not yes oh man she gums no gaggery [Laughter] yeah that oh i i want to run into more people with down syndrome dressed up as characters now and i don't think that's ever going to happen because in my entire life only one time as that happened and that was this afternoon so it doesn't bode well for the future if he had hypothetically been wearing cargo shorts and a hollister button you know like polo shirt would that have been a worse outfit or a better outfit it's honestly better it would have been it would have been quite a bit better like it would have been like you know that he's just he's got down syndrome he needs those pockets for his toys and coins and stamps whatever he collects top his top spinning yeah yeah his but yeah that that made me laugh anybody have any fun [ __ ] encounters recently yeah yeah my mom taught special ed for a few years and when i was in third grade i went they were going on a field trip to the tennessee aquarium and and she was like hey you want to tag along and as a third grader i didn't realize that that would not be a very cool thing with a bunch of [ __ ] kids the aquarium and uh on the way back uh tiffany jones [ __ ] herself on the bus and uh and we all just had to roll the windows down and bear it i wonder if that like like if that were to happen in your class kyle someone would be branded with a reputation that didn't go away quickly yeah in the special needs class is it like who amongst us has not [ __ ] the bus well all they have to do is next class bring in enough crayons for everyone to eat and they're fun they're special needs not marines yeah um they're they're all too slow to even understand that the smell is someone has [ __ ] themselves they're just like the buff smell bad today you know they don't know but uh but obviously me as a fully functional human being and my mom and the uh the other teacher like we understood that and it was compounded by the fact that uh my mom's other the other teacher picked an area for us all to have our picnic lunch at on the way back and she picked the area that everyone walks their dogs in so every [ __ ] kid stepped in dog [ __ ] that's the funniest part and i got another one like all these [ __ ] kids are out there stomping around and [ __ ] huge dog turds while they're eating their pb and j then we all get on the bus and tiffany jones drops a hot steamy load right in her [ __ ] how many minutes into this trip did it take until you were like i shouldn't be here dude as soon as as soon as we were on that well like on the way there it was it was fine because because like i had a uh back in back then it was cassette players you know so i had my cassette player and i had my music my headphones and i'm just taking all the kids out into the yard go potty [Laughter] you know we're on the bus and i'm just listening to my music and uh had an allen jackson cassette and uh and he's saying wait down you're under around the chattahoochee and i'm like holy [ __ ] we're crossing the chattahoochee that's cool and you know we get to the aquarium and i don't mind that none of the kids underst i'm like look at that fish that's a grouper and they're just like group group you know i'm just like oh [ __ ] i've made a mistake and then i'm like we're in the gift shop buying the space food you know that dehydrated ice cream and stuff and i realized none of the [ __ ] kids were trusted with money so like i'm the only one and so so they're like come on kyle it's just you and uh but but it was on the way back when when all of the defecation occurred that i realized i'd made a big mistake because i was fine being by myself with the aquarium that was my mom was there you know third grade you love hanging out with your mom yeah but it's what strikes me about this story is tiffany jones that sounds to me like the name of the girl who got fingered behind the backstop of the baseball field at lunch or like the designated hot chick in the class who's a little bit of a [ __ ] didn't expect her to be the girl who shits her pants and has down syndrome these things are funny you remember her name oh i remember that's her name i'm not just like making up a name and she was a big girl and uh you wouldn't finger her unless she wanted dirty fingers i guess maybe like like that she suffered at personal hygiene clearly uh you wouldn't want to get up in there were there any personal hygiene champs in this group or no i mean i it's been a long time ago you know i was eight years old uh i don't think anybody there was as clean as i was because you know i i took baths yeah you actually didn't stomp and dog [ __ ] as a hobby or anything you know small i just imagine us getting off the bus and like the janitor coming on with a pressure washer right behind us oh not again just having to hose the whole [ __ ] bus down yeah that's it i'm no longer down for [ __ ] duty this goddamn job tiffany gets power washed directly she needed it how much easier would have high school been for getting laid if all of the really hot chicks were also [ __ ] easier helicopter is it ethical what what show you know it's definitely it's definitely not ethical to [ __ ] [ __ ] probably not er maybe it's bigoted not to [ __ ] wait wait wait taylor i have it what if it's like alcohol right where you should just be at like an equivalent level of retardation and then it's okay not just a hat rack my friend i would have pumped my numbers up you're like god damn you're a 20-shot [ __ ] no like like for example kyle let's say that i'm a girl if i'm very drunk and you've just had one or two then you're taking advantage of me and it's wrong yeah but if you're also very drunk who's to say i'm not taking advantage of you exactly no if you're parallel drunk everything is okay and that should apply to mental retardation that's what i'm saying she's so dumb it'll take 20 shots to get there no you're getting drunk to [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] chick cow we're not on the same page yet you're supposed to be also no at this point we're not we're not trying to get the [ __ ] chicks drunk we're just talking about their level of retards i need the shots because it's [Laughter] state of [ __ ] so you're still not getting it it's the implication it's the [ __ ] what's the implication i never knew any hot [ __ ] chicks that would have been weird i seem a little mutually exclusive i don't think it happens how does that how is it not a thing i think some i think it's cause somebody else scoops them all up i'm already on the namblo list i'll look up hot [ __ ] because what is fitness i mean what is hotness it's being physically in shape having personal style and personal hygiene and all those things are very low on the list of priorities for anybody who's [ __ ] there's no way there's a hot rod all of these photos are pictures of greta [Laughter] thundberg and so there are some for people that are that's the climate change activist you guys yeah there's quite a few pedo pervs apparently talking about this look at this toothy hoe she'd be all right wildly [ __ ] daughter uh i mean don't actually show people what he could god this is private it's too mean to show it's an actually [ __ ] child keep your teeth in your mouth yeah i didn't show her to anyone because she's she's under 18 and it doesn't seem right but i will say i bet she sucks at blowies i think we can all this teeth are like what she'd be great as a carrot peeler maybe yeah that's that that's what i'm getting at oh that's this is i feel like i just went too far not for the not for anybody listening i just feel like i've damaged my soul a little this is like in in harry potter where voldemort kept tearing his soul a little bit at a time i feel like that's what the show does to me oh yeah you ever stop doing this show and you're like man i'm like a straight up bad person sometimes people tweet me things i said before and it's like oh yeah that was me that's awful yeah i'll get done and i don't know i'm impressed guys because i i'm impossible to offend i'm a scumbag and you guys had me a little nervous so we were talking making those child [ __ ] jokes yeah you got to come on the show yeah on the other hand i feel like i figured out a good way for [ __ ] people to get laid and that's kind of a public service so it balances out dude they should do the same i was going to do for dwarves because like for dwarves and midgets they have conventions where it's like the atlanta dwarf conference and they all come together and they [ __ ] like rabbits they need to have that for the retardeds as well yeah like the down syndrome boston conference and they all get to come together and have fun sex and like why not do that i like to think that the same thing happens right like a guy with a mild case of down syndrome is just slaying gash is the hottest guy at the conference where he doesn't like he doesn't really dominate at his high school but you take him to the down syndrome conference and suddenly he kills it best oh well around here i'm kind of a big deal that's slick mikey he can tell tom [Laughter] no not even the kind that reads on the wall the kind with the arms he can color inside the lines every time wow my [ __ ] getting wet for you paint by numbers by mistake i peed yeah if i could do accents i would live today that would be a good idea help relieve the stress of down syndrome americans by having a nice [ __ ] fest for them once or twice a year that's all it takes it'd be sweet if they released like five tickets to the general public but they were all a thousand bucks for a regular guy to come in and start [ __ ] retards a black market would develop i would go i tried oh those would sell for so much more danny come on oh i apologize no no i'm on board all the business opportunities here yeah i apologize one of you were on the page of a head of a child fucker's website earlier definitely not me yeah dude that's that site is so [ __ ] terrible why is that allowed up yeah i was getting danny has his own danny has his own rock band it's called system of a down's your poofy is downy soft oh you can just keep going oh it's horrible because they can't help it they all you know what they don't they never say you don't choose to be gay but you also don't choose to be a [ __ ] do they say that i don't think anyone says that oh i are you are you sure i'm pretty sure that's their like their branding this year uh oh oh so you know how if a little person has a baby it could be small it could be large it could be anything right it could be [ __ ] yeah what happens with down syndromes do they just like emit random numbers of chromosomes in their sperm it's like when you like you know how you can use a potato to work a clock no wait wait how do you work clocks in missouri i mean like you plug the electrical wires into it like the electrical one that's what it is like what you get when that happens is you just take the wires out of the clock and plug it into another potato and two potatoes attached by wires and that's what you can what does this have to do with down syndrome again i'm confused yeah i'm not fighting down syndrome p the joke is that down syndrome people have the same number of chromosomes as a potato instead of a human which is they have an additional one i'm not sure a down syndrome person can power a clock though you know what in all fairness we've never had a down syndrome person as a guest and so i'd like to requisition jesus to get us she just doesn't have a downstairs jerk oh no no but i'm sure he you know everybody has friends he can find a down syndrome person to come on the show or just making a joke i know i was trying to dig myself out of my previous bad joke so that's the way this show goes

Channel: PKA Clips

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Id: okMgrTWpwjs

Length: 18min 38sec (1118 seconds)

Published: Fri May 15 2020