Why 'Big' Is More Terrifying Than You Remember - After Hours

was it worth it I mean I'll miss some of the old gang but hey they're in jail and I'm not so yes what I was talking about the milkshake I was talking about the other thing obviously our use you've recently ordered one of every milkshake because you couldn't decide which one you wanted the once in a while I like to do something childhood me would have wanted to do just because I can childhood Michael was a sampler childhood me wanted to be the first woman to say Baba Booey in space hey there's still time child - Daniel wanted to hang out at diners with his friends it's ridiculous there's no time for that grow up it doesn't matter what childhood you wants to do children are stupid that's why they're smaller you have to earn the mass that you take up in the world what if you can go back to being a kid knowing what you know now you wouldn't do it what about being 17 again like that movie with Matthew Perry where he's 17 against that Matthew Perry isn't 17 again he becomes Zac Efron a gorgeous man-child who everyone trusts and I already a.m. those things Oh Dan I can't come to your dog's graduation tomorrow I'm sick Oh No feel better thanks the reality behind any time-traveling body-switching movie is horribly depressing if you think about it nobody's watching movies always have a positive message whether it's a Freaky Friday or like father like son no those are classic body-switching movies with two people and yes the message of those is daughter - mother father - boy ah I realize now we are not so different you and I but I am talking about movies with one body switch like 17 again movie we were just talking about I'm all caught up there so in 17 again Matthew Perry's character is having a bit of a rough patch in his life he's going through a terrible divorce he's kind of a shitty dad to his teenage kids then he meets a magical janitor and boom suddenly he is 17 in the present so he enrolls in his kids school decides that he's gonna fix his relationships with his kids and his wife that's kind of nice yeah I said they don't know it's him he's not fixing any relationships for all his kids no he's just a really nice and hands and handsome man child who has it together he's just forging completely new relationships as a weirdly invested teen meanwhile their dad is still Mis Lawrence right it's like if Batman's parents came back as a hot boy after being shot I mean Batman would still think that his parents were dead even though they collectively are Zac Efron except it's way worse because Matthew Perry's character has been missing the entire time and no one has noticed what does that say about his life oh that he doesn't have any friends oh he doesn't though that is sad what about his mail what about his neighbors people don't just disappear without someone noticing but now old Matthew Perry is out new Matthew Perry is in and he's basically gained about 20 years on his life he was going through an awful ugly divorce and now he's realized that no one in his old life would miss him if he was gone what why the hell would he ever go back to that miserable life Oh Mike does he hit on highschool girls does he do that his daughters in high school no no no he does not have sex with his daughter she tries to hit on him after he helps her break up their abusive boyfriend because he's just really nice to her and hands and she hands him to her and hilarity ensues but just because he doesn't have sex with his teenage daughter doesn't mean that he isn't thinking about having sex with the other girls in her high school he is a high school boy with high school hormones flowing through his body and adult experience I don't like where this is going could we go to the opposite of this in big Tom Hanks plays Josh Baskin a 12 year old who's suddenly transformed into a 30 year old man yes and people do notice that he's missed that's exactly right the police assumed he is kidnapped and they search for him they don't do a great job of it cuz at no point does Josh's mom tell him about the 30 year old man who showed up at her house to spew a bunch of info about her son clearly she should assume that he is the kidnapper and a crude police sketch could have been done of this assumed kidnapper who was actually Josh himself as a 30 year olds not to mention he uses his real name which would draw attention if his mysterious background didn't this charge yeah but this is before Amber Alerts maybe just you know flew under the radar you promoted to VP of a major toy manufacturer and bought a huge loft in Manhattan these things require background checks at no point in the process with someone like hey you kind of look like the guy who kidnapped that kid also your name is the name of that kidnapped kid also since we're naming things you don't have a diploma or any references and a fourth thing you know what don't need a fourth thing I'm just gonna call the police right now about all the zones yeah well that's not the point it's not ransom just a movie about a kid learning that you don't have to rush to grow up or it's the story of an unsolved kidnapping case when Josh returns home to his mom six weeks later wearing a man-size suit and man-sized underwear it's gonna have a lot of questions that he needs to answer even if he tells the truth who's gonna believe a therapist would probably diagnose Josh with delusions and then just assume that he's repressing all of these terrible memories from his kidnapper as a coping mechanism a--the perkins the love interest or his best friend that was a redheaded kid who's clearly wise beyond his years they know the truth yeah and can you imagine what's gonna happen to the 30 year old woman who says I had an affair with a 13 year old boy trapped in a 30 year olds body she's gonna look nuts and guilty and the best friend corroborating it is just further proof that she's manipulating a bunch of these teenagers for her weird whatever they'll probably throw her in jail for brainwashing these helpless kids for her sex cult and send the best friend to therapy to boot think about it she works in a toy company it doesn't look great for her not to mention she slept with half the men in the company which is a very random and unnecessary detail for them to include in the movie I'm now realizing first it was Tom Caulfield then Hanlin then Golding then me am i missing somebody it's not like that anymore which I mean I'm not saying as a problem for her as a woman she's an adult and capable of making her own sexual decisions I'm just saying they're probably gonna use it against her in court also when she finds out he was 13 the whole time she says ten years maybe should hold onto my I don't know if there's a right thing to say in that situation but it's probably not that how about I should go also when he goes back to his childhood there's still a full entire person who's just gone now the last thing his quarters will remember seeing him do is be right back well our initial figure was around 7 will you excuse me ken doesn't look great for Susan wow he really ruins that woman's life okay how about 13 going on 30 there's a happy ending and no one goes missing she not only body switches she also travels to the future so her friends and family and none the wiser actually it's her 13 year old brain jumping into her 30 year old body in the future which is kind of romantic if you look at it the way the movie looks at it which is like time travel but actually it's just a 30 year old woman who's lost 17 years of her memory like waking up from a coma or she could just be repressing a horrible memory or maybe it's the magic dream house fairy does or maybe she's such a terrible person that her brain cannot cope with the consequences of her decision so it just regresses into an adolescent snake how is she terrible she's just a naive teenager with what aviva she is selling out her company to the competitor she's also sleeping with the husband of her co-worker and when she's a teenager she's kind of an [ __ ] and all she wants to do is be popular I don't want to be beautiful in my own way I'm gonna look like these people but she fixes all those things I forgive her yeah but at the cost of her childhood friends engagement she breaks up a perfectly good relationship between him and his fiancee she shows up at his loft wearing a nightgown claiming to be 13 and somehow convinces him to fall in love with her even though he's already engaged no she doesn't marry him right away she's at his wedding to his fiance when she encounters the magic dream house dust and goes back into her 13 year old body he's still cheats on his fiancee with her I mean they had that romantic kiss in the park while he's still with that other woman and then when she goes back to being 13 years old we suddenly flash-forward and she's married to Mark Ruffalo in the future maybe it was a projection all along maybe she's just a terrible person who broke up an engagement had to go through this delusional time-traveling fantasy in order to justify her actions in the present what no think about it Mark Ruffalo's character Matt only falls in love with Jenna because she's like a child if they'd actually live those in-between years together she'd just be like a boring adult and the chances of them actually getting together are very slim man what is up with people being attracted to childlike behavior yes it's very strange hmm no I guess it doesn't work for everyone Daniel's right though all of these movies are just glorifying the sexualization of teenage innocence I haven't even mentioned the creepy part and 13 going on 30 where she has a slumber party with all of the neighborhood girls beware these people's parents you will never see a body-switching movie where a middle-aged man swaps bodies with a senior citizen or a middle-aged man to an older middle-aged man even though Middle Ages is when the bulk of the irreversible life-altering mistakes actually happening can I get a bowl of chocolate sugar with some sprinkles please with a like a fun spoon is that a thing and don't tell me if it's not just fry something for me and make it sweet and let me have it look at this [ __ ] kid on the milk hi everybody I'm Sora and this is Daniel thank you for watching that sketch if you liked it please go into the comments and tell us how much you liked it and subscribe to our Channel or if you didn't like it still subscribe because maybe something else will roll along that you were appreciate I did you wants anything it's for 18 in the morning on a Monday I guess Tuesday technically now I have to be in the office in about six hours okay so anyway we really appreciate all of you thank you for stopping by whatever time a night you're watching this I assume it's a night not or day I guess

Channel: Cracked

Views: 1,796,676

Rating: 4.9404597 out of 5

Keywords: After Hours, Cracked, Cracked.com, Tom Hanks, Big, Mathew Perry, 17 Again, Zak Efron, 13 going on 30, Body Switching Movies, Freaky Friday, Like Father Like Son, Jennifer Garner, funny, spoof, humor, sketch, comedy, movies, parody, honest

Id: 3-ZU-ls2C-g

Length: 10min 17sec (617 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 22 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/therks]

Well, 14 seconds into the video: "Starline Hodge as Katie's Brain" So... probably. :P

[u/starlinex]

Yah, that's me!

Normally I just create the illustrations for Katie's Brain in those episodes! But since I'm the only illustrator for the series that actually lives in LA, they invited me to be on set as an extra too. :D It's super fun!

This is what I was doodling at the time: https://40.media.tumblr.com/0b6a78c4226598eb52ef24821e80864c/tumblr_o2yp8p5eHM1qz6c0so1_1280.jpg

[u/corruptrevolutionary]

I thought the same thing