-All right, we're checking out
the only game where skipping leg day
is punishable by death. It's Muscle Rush . That's right. Time for a game where protein powder is one of the major food groups in life. Not gonna lie. I do love that you just have to go
through and just repeatedly beat the crap out of anything in your way
in order to get freakishly larger. I'm gonna go
through the metal door I think. Oh, no. I didn't realize it would take
all of my muscles away from me. Anytime I see a game where I get
to actually upgrade my character further and further to the point where he becomes
like much less human looking, I'm always very interested in seeing
how far this goes, and you yeet, then you beat someone in the teeth,
and you eat a ton of meat. Ah, yes. My deltoids are now looking
like two aliens chilling out on my back. That's excellent. What is this? This is like a totally different--
What is this? [laughs] Oh my god. No, I just beat
the Pillsbury Dough lady to death with my arm wrestling abilities. Why?
Also, how come it's just a bunch of criminals watching me. This entire scene didn't make any sense. Also, I think I killed her. Upgrade.
Oh, sure. Why not?
Upgrade your punch. Okay. Can I- can I just keep upgrading it?
What does it do? Oh, I got a new hero. Makes me sad because
it kind of reminds me of Lara Croft, but I wonder what she's going
to look like when she's, you know, much less human,
like she's one giant bicep. Oh god,
I think I-- [yells] I didn't know you would eventually
have to use your brain in this game. So you have to pick the right color, too. Okay, and pop through here,
more protein powder, click on the green button. Okay, all right.
I got it. Beat that man to death. Beat that man to death. Go through the metal door. I just did that to do it mainly
because anytime I see a door like that, it annoys me, and I want it to die. And now I get to do some sort of, uh,
actually kind of reminds me of something from Street Fighter. What is this? I don't know how this gets muscles,
but I kind of want it. You know, it's bad
when some like eight-bit character from a rave party version
of the Nintendo entertainment system is prepared
to start snorting protein powder. Let's do this out of the way. Oh, I like electrocute people in this form. That's actually kind of cool. All right, more protein. I-I-I say it's protein. It might actually
just be lightning in a can, which is also fine. I am currently very strong. Can I get- Can I get stronger
than very strong, or is this as strong as a being can get? Oh, who do I have to murder at, uh, arm wrestling? It's like a court jester
from the 9th century. Hey, Mr. Jester, how are you feeling? He's like,
"Well, my right leg is broken." I don't know how that happened
since we were arm wrestling. Ah, the chest room wouldn't want
to miss chest day. Oh, chest as in unlock the chest. Game actually fooled me because I kind
of figured it would be, you know, like legs, back, chest. Well, I'm really making
a ton of money here. I'm kind of like the silver surfer although it's more
like the tin foil surfer like the very, very discount
version of the silver surfer. I'm currently pumped. I'm strong. Come on, baby, very strong. [groans] I'm just going right through your-- I'm going right through their living room
just murdering the whole group of people. No survivors. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, you have to upgrade to unlock. Okay.
Ooh, I'm really big right now, so do-- if-- do I- do I punch through the-the-the money
is that how this works? I don't even know.
I'm gonna go on the left side over here. Yeah.
[groans] I hate dollars. Delicious money violence, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah and now I have to punch through the safe. [moans] My pecs are so big. It looks like two oversized
double quarter pounders with cheese sitting
on top of a roll of toilet paper. Uh, yeah, keep the-
keep the upgrade going I guess. Don't you dance side to side. Out of my way.
Fly away. Okay, very strong. Do the jump. Punch through here. No big deal. Yay, how many can I get
through at this point? I should be able to get
all the way to the 28th. Yeah.
Okay, yeah, we got to keep this rolling. I don't know what this is,
and I'm kind of concerned. There's a lot of different people to be. Am I one of the Among Us creatures? Only am I going to get
like violently oversized? I love how rag-dollish all the people are. They just fly to their death
and even the slightest touch from our-- Am I- am I fighting an alligator? Oh, no. Why we-- We're both Floridians. We could have been such good friends. Also, I'm not gonna lie.
I love the alligator shorts. Oh, I am extremely large. I could have gotten way past that. I lost absolutely no muscle tone, well,
into the chest room. All right, I could get
this-this nice legionnaires helmet, but of course, I'll get $5 instead. Oh, I got the helmet.
Yeah. Thank God. What would- what would
I do without this helmet. I don't know how I started beating people
to death by spinning like Ryu from the-- Ooh, yeah, blue. Okay, good. like Ryu from Street Fighter II
but I kind of wanna do it again. Uh, blue. Ooh. Out of the way. Violence is my only answer. All right, who am I fighting next? One of the sources A. He's actually a pretty big guy, but luckily my helmet gave me
the strength to survive his judgment. Oh, it's like a real treadmill. Oh, it's actually sucking
the muscles from me. That's awful. [laughs]
Out of the way. I actually murdered that man. All right, so definitely,
you definitely wanna go through the cement when you can. You don't wanna get stuck on a treadmill. That's-that's like a-- That's like the strong
man's kryptonite apparently. God forbid you have
some cardio in your life. All right, keep the-
keep the upgrades going. Okay, so can I actually save myself a lot of muscles if I make sure
to only use human beings to murder all of the brick in front of me. So that's good to know. So all of you guys
are basically sacrificial lambs. I really need you
to move in a straight line whenever I start killing you though
so that you break through the walls for me. I can be the genie from Aladdin.
Are you kidding me? I'm trying to find a way
to get infinite upgrades. And I think I may have discovered it. Oh, this is happening. I got to get this punch at least up to 10. All right, a level 14 punch. All right. After getting
like a billion dollars with an upgrade, I think we're ready to go now. I'm not exactly sure
what a level 23 punch does compared to like my previous level 5 punch. I guess incredibly violent Genie
over here had to tell me once we're done beating
the living crap out of all the money. All right, so now you gotta tap your way
through this. Uh, look at this. 10'8 times the normal amount. [laughs]
Yes. I just realized too
like I have to skip leg day because I don't actually
have any legs. Like I don't know what it is I have. I'm not even sure
what this would be called. Some sort of like, uh, I don't know,
like-- Wow. [chuckles]
I don't just punch people anymore. I just destroy them. Out of the way.
All right. Let's see how many walls
I can get through. Oh, wow. [chuckles]
Okay, so that's what the punch does. Say hello to me. Your nubile galactic emperor,
for now anyway. Soon after injecting anabolic steroids
directly into my tongue, I will be strongest, [groans], and most unbelievably violent being
in the whole world. Money. All right. Give me your strongest champion. Your champion is
a grossly oversized teddy bear. I love how whenever I beat them, they break
in the most uncomfortable positions. Look at what happened to this bear. I don't need no picket fences. I gotta use you to break down the wall,
I don't wanna have to lose my muscles from that wall there. And then boop,
give him the old shirt right there. Oh, he just murdered his friend. I didn't-- took hi-
took his friend out for me. That's not technically my murder then,
I didn't commit that felony. And boop, right through the- right through the stone. And this should get almost
all the way to the end at this point like probably right around the 8.2 area. Look at that called
it back to the chest room. The only place where you can work out
in order to get an Elf hat. Great. This is the only game,
literally the only game where I always get the best prize somehow. And I'm not sure I want this prize. This woman needs to wear this hat. I feel like she-she
hasn't been destroyed enough in a while. All the-the Genie and the galactic emperor
and all kinds of folks have had to have most of their lives ruined
by wearing stupid hats. She really hasn't yet. [moans] I lost a little bit of my strength. That makes me so sad. I was almost perfect
all the way to the end. Now I have to beat
that one guy from Tekken 2 . Kind of also beaten Balrog. I think that was also
a guy from Street Fighter . I love how they collapse
just like in Family Guy. Like this dude's arm is literally
toward 180 degrees broken. That's what you get
for facing the Elf Girl. Oh, I could be like 17-year-old Hulk. Interesting with flabby triceps. All right.
Say no to cardio. Remember those words. Most important, here we go. No to cardio. Rush them all, okay? Get ready boy. I'm about to dab on you with muscles
you didn't even know existed. I'm dead. Okay, now I'm going to dab on you, while also being less of a failure,
you know, it's hard colors, blue. There we go. And beat that guy over there. You should take down the bricks perfect. Another one through all the bricks,
beautiful. Color green, just the color of money
and infection [laughs] 'cause I don't know. [yells] I'm not gonna lie,
I do kind of love just blowing through gigantic walls
of gold bars of money. I also like how you--
I'm not actually even damaging this safe, I'm just punching
it until it gets annoyed enough open. I actually wanna know what happens
if I run all the muscles. [laughs] I'm so small.
[laughs] Oh, no. [laughs] Okay.
[chuckles] Oh, you just get flattened to the ground
like Gumby. I love how it's called power. You know, totally legitimate power. I'm arm wrestling an alien to the death. The alien's arm is the size
of one of my fingers. What is this? It was like fighting
a-a-a-a vaguely humanoid-shaped lump of jello. The table fell on the alien
and it severed him in half. I now have a level 48 punch. I'm also Barbie
if she was made out of solid lava. I don't know why. This is just something that I've turned
into for some unknown reason at this point. On the plus side though,
I should punch so hard that I should be able
to pretty much get everything I could possibly want. If I break all these, too, I get the, uh, the ultimate dominating fly
double punch thing, which I do enjoy. Oh, I've got full very strong. We're going all the way to 11.5. You've heard of Bruce Banner? This is like-
this is like the dollar store version. This is like Jimmy Banner. Let's put a different hat on this guy. It's actually causing me physical pain. Here, you can
have the-the legionnaire hat, just like the Hulk had
when he was fighting Thor. Actually, I'm not going to lie,
I kind of want to see this. Hold one. [laughs]
It's tiny little Hulk. All right, we're going all the way, Hulk. I'm getting you to look
like you're supposed to look, not like a malnourished 13-year-old. Right, the red, blast you, go through all this. Then I have to arm wrestle, once again, Mrs. Doubtfire. I look less like the Hulk
and more like a really fit Michelin Man. Oh, I get a crown, huh? What are my chances of getting it? Apparently not high enough. Hey, you like Aladdin?
This guy's like, "Not really." Then die. You thought you had a choice
in the type of cartoons you could consume? Lies. Get wrecked. I'd-- Right now the genie is doing, like, he's breakdancing, but he's kinda not,
because he doesn't actually have the legs to break- to breakdance with, so I don't know
what this is that's happening. I found out you really have to break
as much stuff as you can- Ow. [laughs] -in order
to get the-the rage thing built up, or whatever it's called. I don't know why
I attribute everything to anger. Oh my God,
I can finally become John Rambo. Finally, I get to be
the manliest man ever. Although having him wear
that hat previously makes me kind of sad. Out of the way, everyone. I'm so powerful I clog
the toilet when I pee. All right, green, bust some of this down, kill a human being,
kill this other human being, break these. Oh yeah. Oh, this is--
Oh God, I screwed up. John Rambo's one weakness, RGB. I only see shades of grey, all right? Can we not have, like,
a bunch of colors that I have to select? I can already see one coming up,
I think it's red. Yeah, pretty sure it's red. Blood, that is. Oh, he got the full strength, which means John Rambo gets to go
all the way to the end of the 12. [laughs] Look at the size of the arms.
[laughs] I love the dance, too. I got what I always wanted to see,
14,000 pork chops tied together to make one human being named John Rambo. Hey folks, I hoped
you enjoyed this episode of Muscle Rush . 'Til next time, stay foxy.
Much love.
