All right. We're checking out the only
game where the best way to get rid of foot pain
is to cut them off. It's feet clinic. Anytime I become a doctor,
I can tell that any NPC in a game already
wishes they were dead. I love how they didn't even
give this lady any eyes. I don't know anything about
medicine or foot care. What is going on? Okay, real quick. I'm pretty sure most people don't
have their skin turning into granite. Like what? The Thing from The Fantastic
Four come in for a pedicure? She's like,
"How's it look, doctor?" I'm like, "Well, you're one-eighth
sandstone, so that's not great." What is that? What is the sound this makes? Is this a Dremel or
an alcoholic R2D2? Listen, that is 100% drunken
R2D2 telling Luke to turn the X-Wing around
because he's being an idiot. There are sparks coming
off of this girl's foot. Sparks. It's either sparks or her foot
is vomiting long grain rice. Now the only thing that
Grey cares about is can I write the word
yeet in her feet? The answer is no. God, this isn't footcare,
it's like doing road work. I like how the before picture, they didn't even wanna show
you what I was dealing with. They're like,
"It's too graphic, let's make it 240P." This is what you used to
see on YouTube in 2008. Okay, I got a question. If the eyes are the windows
to the soul, how come none of my
patients have any eyes? Before I start working on this girl, I had to go over to my tool chest, which has things like the thorn
tweezers and a fish tank. Why is there a fish tank
inside of my tool closet? You know what? I can't stand not
having the fish tank. I'd also like to mention that
I get paid with a jar of money. Like, not by credit card,
not through medical insurance, it's just literally a jar of money. Station furniture decor. Decor, 100%. Why? This has nothing to doubt, whatever. I love that now just this random
cat can just loom at people. Oh, my god. No. Don't do it. No. Oh, God. How did you get macaroni
and cheese inside of your foot? Oh, you look bad. What? Is it worse than the last person? I'm a foot doctor. Why am I doing this? Why is that cat still creepily
looking happy with just one eye? Real quick, I love the fact
that someone voice-acted this. Can you hear it? Imagine getting-- being on Fiverr
and getting paid like $3 and the people are like, "Hey, all you have to do is just go oh, oh, oh into a microphone
for an hour and a half." I just got a brand new tool. It's the ability to put a butterfly
tattoo on the top of your foot. I finally got the fish bowl. Uh, one of the fish attacked
the feet to get rid of, like-- What, a- what,
are we spreading peanut butter on this girl's feet and then
having the fish eat it? L-like, tenderize the skin? These fish aren't being fed. They're, like, enslaved. One day, the fish are going to get
free and they're going to murder me. W-what? Huh? You had your shoes on. I love that he had his shoes on and he was just tap dancing
through broken glass. Imagine if I just gave
people the amount of work that they had in money on them? So if they had, like,
$8, that's all they get. Yeah, $8 you got, $8 you get. Come here. [grunts] This guy heals like Wolverine. I just want you to know,
you could've saved yourself $8 and just did this by yourself. I feel like I'm not actually needed. Maybe it's like one of those things when you can't give
yourself your own shot. I got a new item to torture
people with. Another day complete. Here's your peanut jar
filled with stolen money. The cat approves. 100%, I need to get more decor. What do I get this time? The smallest plant on Amazon. All right,
In order to fix your toenail here, what we have to do is
literally remove 30% of it. Yeah, you're not
gonna miss it anyway. Alrighty, just yank that off. I know it's got, like,
the plus sign on it. This isn't actually antibacterial
stuff, it's holy water. Hold on. Oh, I was gonna see if I can
get it over on the cat to try and get rid of the demon
inside of that poster. I have three tattoos now. I got a butterfly. Why is there like a deer? What is this? I don't know what this is. I did not pick the butterfly. I wanted the tortoise
or whatever that was. Oh, never mind. It looked like a butterfly,
but it's absolutely not. Congratulations. Here's a beautiful tattoo
of a horseshoe crab. Orthosis? That's not gonna be good. What? You come straight
from fireman training? Oh, hold on, real quick, I gotta
get you another plant in the office. Did I just pay like
$800 for a wastebasket? What's it made out of? The souls of the innocent? I gotta- I gotta my pay debt. Lay down, take off your boots. You have a Lego stuck in your foot. Literal Legos. Oh. How did you get them so far in there? He's like, "This is the rite
of passage of becoming a man. You must violently dance a jig
on top of sharpened Legos." Congratulations. Though this may look like
a butterfly, hold on, wait for it,
you're actually going to get what I like to call
the judgmental eagle. This is the type of eagle that
looks at you and is just like, "I hate you." It could also be a falcon,
I'm not really sure. If it's getting
offended to that, good. All right, we got a VIP client. You could tell because she has
the Minecraft sunglasses on her. What I'm doing to her feet
right now is largely irrelevant. I'm simply doing this for a bigger
bonus so I can get a better plant. Here's a deer. Did that- did that foot
just pulse randomly at me? That was very concerning. Oh, I got a new item. Yay. I got so much money that we're
buying all the plants, baby. Oh, yeah, there's a nice clock. There's a slightly bigger
plant than we had before. I'll even put a piece
of furniture in there. I'm not gonna fix up my station. I love it,
I got a table with no chairs. You can't do anything. I guess you could play
ping pong there. All right, have a seat, you're
about to get the Rambo treatment. I got bad news, ma'am,
since you're growing strawberry jam on the bottom of your foot,
the only answer is leeches. Oh, they grow over time. So what do you- what do you do
with them after they're done? Like, do you j- do you just toss them? I feel kind of bad. I mean, they did their job, but
we're just throwing them to the curb. Not even giving them, like,
a paycheck or anything like that. Technically,
they did more work than I did. Well, we've got a guy
in a full suit now. What-what did you step on? Are these the pieces from
the board game The Game of Life? I don't even know how to grab these. I don't think they're just
growing out of his skin. I assume he stepped on them. First, I thought they were
just the top parts of crayons. The fact that people come in
and pay me to do this rather than just dealing with it
themselves has really shown how far we've gotten away
from our own humanity. Time for a bigger plant. I don't know what that is. I think it's just a bigger trash can. That's the future of all
the leeches that work for me. New item unlocked. It looks like a bar of soap. Bigger plant. What? That's not a plant. Is that a TV? Do you know what really sucks? No one can actually watch it
because they face this direction. Now what we do here is we take
the magic eraser to the area. See that right there? Now, when you feel your
foot start to go numb, that's when you know it's working. Now, good news and bad news. This should heal you. If it doesn't, it's because you're
a vampire and you'll have to die. There you go. Now it's time to paint your toenails. You'd be seeing. Ray, what are you painting
his toenails with? It's mustard, obviously. Man, I can't even write
kill his toenails. They're too small. Good enough. Is this a bunch of thumbtacks? It's a bunch of thumbtacks. She's probably like, "Ah, it's
just an office prank. No big deal." Yeah, until you walk in the
bathroom She's probably like, "Ah, it's just an office
prank. No big deal." Yeah, until you walk in the bathroom and there's like a bear
trap on the toilet seat. It's all fun and games until
someone loses a vital organ. Ah, yes. The flesh-eating fish are back
and they're hungry for blood. This is where you get done,
and the person's like, "Oh, my foot doesn't hurt anymore." And you're like, "Yes it's because
you don't have any feet anymore." New item. It looks like a miniature lawnmower. All right, Uma Thurman, let's see
what you got going on down here. Sorry I asked. I've got bad news. You're turning into a Wookiee
from Star Wars. Fortunately, I can shave this and I
guess you just hope no one notices. For the sound effects in this game, they should've used a real-life trimmer, but they should've had it, like,
trying to trim a cactus or something. New item unlocked. It looks like a lot
of the other items. Only more painful. Gimme a bigger plant. Yes. More. I actually got a water cooler now. What in God's name? What are you supposed to--? [%#@!] This girl has like tin foil
growing out of her cuticles. How is this possible? I feel like the people who
made this game are just, like, waiting for a lawsuit
because someone's gonna be like, "Oh, I can fix my toe
with a high-power Dremel." And if I see sparks flying,
clearly that's totally normal. You're fixed. New item unlocked. It's called a toenail clipper, but it looks like it could
be a head of freaking dragon. Are you wearing glasses specifically
to hide the fact that you have no soul? Have a seat. I got a new tool I can use on people. What is this? These are toenails,
they're like assassins' weapons. You could slit a man's
throat with these. You shouldn't have come here. I'm basically taking away your weaponry
that you use to assassinate evil. Today we will be using
the color split pea soup. If there's one thing everyone
loves on their toenails, it's something the color
of baby vomit. There you go. It's weird that I unlocked
foot care cream because I don't actually think we do
any care here at this facility. In fact, you could say there
is a distinct lack of care. So what do you- what do you do? Like, do I just--? Is this okay? He's like,
"What are you putting on me?" It's the jolly green giant's blood. You don't get enough vegetables,
so you get to wear his entrails. Okay. Is that--? Oh, God. Oh, nothing like
skinning a man alive. And for your time,
you may have this butterfly. Have a seat lady. Agony is back on the menu. Oh, my God. [grunts] I love how it's just someone
crumbling a bag of Lay's potato chips. All right. [grunts] Wait, where does it need to go? Oh, right about there. I wouldn't have guessed actually. That does not look
like a normal toe now. Whoop. And now we're gonna-- Ooh. Right now,
tell me this pinky toe doesn't look like a crew
mate from Among Us. [laughter] All right, I'll fix it. [grunts] I actually shoved it inside of the foot. Now it has to give birth to the pinky toe. There. I don't think I've ever felt so much sympathetic pain in
a video game before. All right, how quickly can
I set five different bones? Ready? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, there we go. Perfect. Call that speed surgery. Well, I guess I learned how to
set bones at the speed of light. Great. Anyway, folks, hoped you enjoyed
this episode of Foot Clinic. Till next time. Stay foxy and much love.
