What's Your Worst One Night Stand Experience?

reddit what is your worst experience of waking up after a one night stand hooked up with a super hot chick at a festival she lived near so she insisted we go back to her house after an entire morning and almost afternoon of loud crazy six 64 hours i decided to go downstairs for a drink turns out she didn't live alone like she said but she lived with her two brothers both of whom looked like they had been on the juice i casually had to continue my stroll to the fridge shirtless then introduce myself they both jump off the couch and try staunch me asking who i was and where i was from she then came downstairs and introduced me and then asked them to drive me home being the older sister they had to say yes being super far from home i had to oblige to the offer i got a lift with the brothers of the girl i had just ducked the life hour of all night she was actually really cute and she got up to leave so i just said lock the door behind you because super hung over so finally i make my way out of bed and she had taken all of the food in my house along with my blender like how the duck did you pull this off was at a local spot a few years back met this girl who was pretty hot according to 10 of my closest cocktails anyways chill for a bit head to her house smackdown fall asleep i woke up and noticed a book bag etc school books ask her what she's studying and she tells me she goes to the local hs and i a little inside and leave i ran into her a few weeks later and it turns out she was ducking with me cause she needed me out of the house before her roommates got home the son of the rich stayed for two days after and then actually called me back and kept being there for three years asked me to marry him a few months ago the d nothing says good morning like a toddler tugging on the blanket saying mommy who is that in your bed woke up with no memory of each other then she began screaming about being late to her grandma's funeral dropped her off in a tiny dress not wearing shoes still drunk as duck in front of her entire extended family i wake up to him saying it my dad wasn't supposed to come home so early i had just thought he lived with roommates he tells me to jump in his closet i'm fully nude and my clothes are in the living room i start to argue but he insists and so i get in there and hear them having smaller talk for almost an hour i realize i really have to pee and they just drag on and i'm dancing around and then the guy i slept with left for work and i can hear the dad making breakfast and just settling in i panic how am i gonna get my clothes duck my clothes i'll use his clothes so i take the stuff in the closet all i found were shirts i ducking ran for my life full speed through the house with six hair and a long shirt to my car the dad yelled what the damn hell who are you after my first night with my eventually ex-husband he rolled over and asked jennifer did we have a six last night my name is not jennifer should have run at that point she woke up and said she wanted to marry me and have kids i met a girl at a show that my band was playing at went back to her place had six three or four times that night then fell asleep at probably seven a.m i wake up at about nine am completely disoriented and hear her boyfriend kissing her saying um look like you guys had fun last night he was apparently watching us the entire time i didn't even know she had a roommate had a ducking crazy one-night stand right after hs with a teacher's pet girl who i thought always hated me was still at my parents place so i snuck her in in the morning my dad came right on into my room to grab my keys to move my car for whatever reason i was totally naked half covered and the girl was tits up still asleep uncovered the look i shared with my dad in that moment was kind of like good work boy and you are in so much trouble i had to blank it up and take my keys downstairs where he was waiting he put a lock on the liquor cabinet after that she left her wallet open she was not 18. i ran i woke up to his crazy female roommate vacuuming the hallway outside of his room for over an hour banging the vacuum into his door over and over again i guess she was trying to wake us up so i would leave but we ended up just waking up and having sex while she was vacuuming first of all i don't remember any of this after a labor day party this year i was walking back to my apartment and watching all the snapchats my friends sent me i one friend had snapchatted me ducking this girl on a couch in the middle of the party she was insanely hot so that was fine but it was my worst experience because i don't remember having sex with the hottest girl i have ever ducked my friend told me this story that friend of him had a one-night stand while being completely drunk they both slept naked the next morning he wakes up and wants to go to the bathroom he then notices he is in that girl's bed while they were both asleep now still completely drunk he has to think about getting out of that situation smooth he could have just ran away but instead he decided to gently push that girl into his it he then cleaned himself and left just imagine that girl waking up remembering she had a one night stand then she notices that she's lying on and thinks she has to be the one who shot in the bed and the guy must have ran away in disgust sorry for the english i'm german my then gf at the time came round my house and told me she was sleeping with someone else devastated at this news i decided to bin her off and go out and chase tail i somehow managed to drunkly get with a girl and we head back to her place i was about to say good night and leave it there as i was feeling pretty fragile and only lived 10 minutes walk away she asked me where do you think you're going and took my hand and led me to her room we go at it and shortly after the deed is finalized she tells me she was a virgin i felt pretty bad but shrugged it off when i woke in the morning and realized what i had done in my heartbroken drunken state i felt awful i didn't really want to see this girl again but felt duty bound as i was her first i saw her a couple of times after that but it was just awkward as i was all over the place my worst and only one night stand edit a letter not me but my flatmate he struck gold whilst suitably plastered he woke up the next day pleased with himself as he realized he was not alone still suitably enamored he offered to cook her breakfast tackling the short walk to the shop for bacon and eggs by himself alas all was not well and after two hours of knocking on doors he realized he had totally forgotten where she lived he returned home to me and our stinking flat where he prepared breakfast for us both with a heavy heart and the bluest of balls update i just remembered another twist to this story he phoned me while he was walking to the shop and told me that he couldn't remember whether her name was say either emma or anna then phoned me again in a panic sometime later whilst looking for her house asking what two names he'd told me she might be called having forgotten both of those as well after a night of binge drinking tequila and being thrown out of no fewer than three bars my new acquaintance decided to get us a ride back to her place by walking out in traffic and getting in the first car that slams on its brakes i remember a brief moment of clarity and doubt as she was beckoning me from the back seat but the tequila squashed that next thing i know i'm in one of the strangest apartments i have ever seen every inch of wall space is covered in random animal first and strange objects i spent a good 15 minutes wandering around the apartment wondering wtf had happened i checked the bed three times to see if i recognized her but she was just as much a mystery she was really hot though thank god eventually it started coming back to me about the same time she woke up she asked if we had six i wasn't sure but judging from the lengthy scratches on my back i said i think we did she was upset that she didn't remember and wanted a redo first timer chick demanded a facial from me i woke up thinking i'd had a dream that i had six roll over and there is a dude in my bed i sit up and see about three used condoms on the floor on my bedroom i poke him awake and ask him to leave i didn't remember his name or how we even got into that situation a few hours later he adds me on facebook he's in a relationship she's in his profile picture safe to say i didn't accept that friendship request and i saw him out the next week and he tried it home again and i just went you have a girlfriend duck off i went to a pretty small university and i'd see them walking around with each other it was so awful i felt terrible edit i am woman i know it's ambiguous what my gender is from the above but i am not a guy said it in a few comments but there are so many thoughts i'd put it up here drunken one-nighter with ex-wife she was seeing someone at the time who is a really good guy when i got my thoughts together i was probably more sick to my stomach out of grief than the hangover we were having a birthday party for our daughter and she hung around cleaning up and playing with her after the girl went to bed we had friends over that turned into a few beers then a few shots then some cuddling sleeping together then the awkward morning after we didn't say a word as i helped her gathered her things and she left as quick as she could decided never to drink around her again i hooked up with this one chick give her the combo do my dastardly deed and crash wake up next day with hands crusted together from her veal juices to drunk to think and realize that she is ugly and waking up i run out of her place walking down the road my friends pull over as they see me stumbling around and holding my hands out like their crab claws worst day ever other one hook up with this chick in military town bar neglect the fact the soldiers just left that morning wake up at her house and see pics of her husband and family go to living room and see two kids like four and five years old they ask who i am and their mom says i'm their uncle and stopped by for a place to crash could never reach out to the soldier but then again he had a mean gun rack i was studying abroad for a semester in brazil and the university had one night a week where their students would take the exchange students out usually it would be a club or bar and sometimes just drinking on the beach this night we were at a club and for some reason i indulged myself a lot more than usual my first blackout i woke up the next morning in a strange room strange bed with a cute brazilian girl beside me she wakes up and i quickly realized she didn't speak any english this was only a couple weeks and so my portuguese was nil to none to be honest my wallet was missing my shirt was ripped she wanted to go another round that morning which i did so i could at least remember it this time then i realized i was in an area of this city that isn't exactly the safest had to break out her computer and use google translate to tell her to call me a cab and then have her loan me money to get back to my dorm oh replacing credit and debit cards overseas is a breeze let me tell you moral of the story doesn't matter had 6 i had never had a one-night stand before i met some guy at a party and was feeling adventurous when went back to his room and talked until 4am one of the topics was sexual fantasies we shared ours his no surprise being two girls at once mine being some light bondage we had six he wanted to tie me up but i felt uncomfortable since i didn't know him in the morning i walked back to my dorm and slept off the rest of the morning later in the day that guy's dorm was having a barbecue so i walked back over there with a friend when i walked in every single guy there put up his arms crossed at the wrist in a bondage position and started laughing at me i was completely mortified walked home with my friend so freaking confused why this guy would immediately tell everyone our pillow talk the thing was he was a pretty badly she told me to get up because she had to babysit her granddaughter first i thought she was joking she was not my friend had a one night stand with a dude she met on tinder when she woke up she saw that he pissed it blood and he spit phlegm almost everywhere her mirrors were covered in phlegm her bedsheets and mattress were soaked in piss and blood her couch was soaked in piss her carpets was made with it it cost her thousands of dollars to fix late to the party didn't actually hook up but stayed at the house of a co-worker's friend on her couch after a night of drinking come morning i wake up to her boyfriend punching me in the chest he had kicked in the door and trashed the place i left and went home a year later they found the girl had been murdered i didn't exactly wake up but i had a sudden clarity midway through that made me nope the duck out of there she was larger than i would normally go for but i was drunk as hell and just wanting anything i had never been with a bbw before so thought i should at least try it once instead of ruling it out we had been fooling around for about an hour each part i touched seemed to sober me up more and more the cellulite on the legs rolls on her hips her back tits and when she bent over so i could go from behind her ass just look huge in the back of her legs were like balloons filled with scrambled eggs i told her i'd had too much to drink and would rather not be sick all over her apartment due to the motions got out of there and went straight to mcdonald's for breakfast and a strong coffee i now know that big girls aren't for me even when drunk as hell i could not for the life of me find my pants i guess late at night i spilled a drink on myself and she put them in her dryer i couldn't sneak out hooked up with this hot single mum we'll call her amy whom i found out later lived with her grandmother after scratching each other's itch a few times amy and i passed out i woke up to her lightly shaking me awake telling me to silence my loud ass phone's alarm apparently her grandmother wtf didn't want strangers in the house but it was too late to just walk out granny was up sitting in the living room and itching about the ac temperature amy had to go sit in the living room opposite the view of the hallway so granny would look at her to talk to her while i snuck past like a high school senior football player trying not to get caught and shot at by my date's watchdog father good times and great adrenaline rush tl dr smashed milf ninja out past grumpy granny the next morning wiped me off at my house first day on holiday in prague met this girl at a bar and went back to hers as you do woke up the next morning and realized i didn't remember where i was staying she told me to get a tram to the city center and i might find it from there problem is i didn't know what the city center looked like either so i winged it and apparently i must have some homing pigeon jeans in me because i chose one direction and before i knew it i was back at where i was staying thought i was gonna die in that place she told me i could sleep in as she left for work early just to lock the door on my way out her estranged husband decided to pop over notices me in the bed naked gets pissed off rants about how she's a terrible person and obtw did she mention she was married and has a kid i start get dressed as i'm putting my shoes on husband picks up tv vcr combo and is about to leave i say don't steal her tv she's going to think i did it he did not seem to care i was 16 i ducked this girl in her home i didn't really know her all of a sudden at three in the morning i hear help me i'm having a heart attack it's coming from the outside of the bedroom door i was told no one else was home so before i can think my naked ass jumps out the window and i tell her to throw me my clothes she gets them and tells me don't worry this happens a lot i asked no questions and never came back i was in indonesia woke up and couldn't find the condom never saw her again so no clue if there's a little asian version of me running around in east asia seeing a framed photo of a dog a dog calendar a dog poster a dog ornament another dog poster and as i rolled over an actual real life dog when the girl finally returned to the bedroom i politely and quickly got myself out of there yes crazy dog ladies are a thing too edit forgot to mention that the real life dog was actually in the bed i was having a drink in a bar on a work trip and wound up chatting with this guy for a few hours and he eventually asked if i wanted to go back to his place i did and he showed me around typical suburban house with furniture and the kitchen and blah blah blah so we go to his bedroom and it is decorated entirely out of cheap stuffed animals that you get at the fair bears unicorns horses pigs everything he has so many that he built shelves all the way around the walls with the smallest animals on the bottom shelf and the biggest ones on the top no lie there were probably 1 000 of them i had to go outside and smoke a cigarette thank god he didn't smoke because i had to collect my thoughts the thing was everything about this guy was normal he had a nice house we sort of knew the same people in his work field he wasn't married he just seemed like a decent person who was totally unashamed of his stuffed animal collection the more i thought about it the more i admired it because i knew he had to catch it from his friends so i started to find it attractive i hate to say it but i started thinking about a relationship so i come back inside and we ended up having pretty decent six for being sort of drunk and having a one night stand we finished up and i put my head on his shoulder and asked him what he thought about it go ahead and take a prize off the bottom shelf he says worst one night stand ever she left quietly in the morning and i was too hungover to move i couldn't tell you what she looked like let alone her name eventually i needed to take a leak so i get up naked hung over and point towards the bathroom door i see a used condom on the carpet but the condom is twitching slightly my vision is blurry from still being drunk so i stare trying to figure out if the condom is really moving then i see what look like two hairs poking out over the condom these hairs keep moving towards me then i see its ugly little head a cockroach was spreading around in my [ __ ] inside a used condom on my floor my wardrobe has mirrors on the doors and i could see my reflection complete with the roach condom combo and my exhausted hungover zombie looking self i took a year off drinking starting that day tl dr woke up to a cockroach swimming in my [ __ ] tldr took my one night stand to the holocaust museum in illinois so one thirsty thursday while i was in college i was out at the bars where i met a lovely young lass who made her intentions to come home with me clear after some difficulties involving a lost key and breaking into my own apartment through a window we did the freaky frack and passed out for that night the next morning i had to wake up early to chaperone a freshman field trip to the skokie holocaust museum my hungover companion asked if i could drive her to her car which i agreed it turned out she had parked it down by the bars and it had gotten towed for parking overnight i didn't have the time to pick her car up and she didn't want to wait in my apartment with my roommates all day so i ended up leading 60 freshman history students through the holocaust museum accompanied by my hunger for one night stand still in heels and dress from last night life can be strange sometimes i didn't want to tell her she was a rebound of my recent breakup so i stayed with her and we've been dating for three years still haven't told her she was a rebound her dad woke me up told me his daughter had left the house and asked me to hurry up and leave i wasn't quite sure what was going on but i followed his requests and left i sent the girl a text and told her that i found it strange and kind of rude that she had just left me sleeping in her bed while she went out and met some friends on a saturday morning then i went on and met my friends and we went swimming as i told them about this strange situation when i got out of the pool i had a missed call from her and a text where she told me that i had peed all over her room during the night standing in the bed peeing on the walls and the floor and she couldn't contact me at all she told me she had tried to wake me up countless of times during the morning and eventually left because she was all done with me she was really hot and i am in too much shame to speak to her again woke up to the girl saying you need to leave right now when i flashed a confused face she showed me her phone and said my boyfriend just sent me this i looked at her phone and saw her boyfriend had sent her a picture of the two of us lying in bed asleep next to one another taken from the doorway of her room needless to say i got the duck out of there quick i went back to this girl's place hammered i remember it kind of looking like a church turns out it was this girl interned at my local campus church where she lived in a kind of hidden second floor apartment basically i had to ramble through a walk of shame the next morning sunday morning past bunch of people attending morning mass she was the oldest i had been with i woke up to her holding a glass of water and some medicine for my hangover i thought i was really weirded out when my clothes were folded at the end of the bed till i passed her kids who had 5-10 years on me woke up to the sound of someone banging on the door really really loudly peeked out of the curtains to see a man mountain covered in tattoos almost busting the door off the hinges he's screaming her name calling her a [ __ ] and telling her to open the door apparently one of his buddies had seen us leaving the club the previous night she was nowhere to be seen i got dressed as quickly as i could and legged it downstairs this was when i realized that my shoes were by the front door i could see this mammoth silhouette hammering on the door duck it straight out the back door and as fast as my bare feet could carry me to the bus stop jumped on a bus and saw her walking back toward her house with grandsons and pastries and it for breakfast never been so scared in my life you know when you wake up look over and instantly regret the person laying next to you i tried that except i was at the whale and she had the regret it clear instantly we had both been really drunk didn't know her name and didn't remember how i got to her place she didn't even talk to me just pretended to be asleep while turning more and more of her back to me being a guy small clues like that wasn't obvious to me but a stern no one asked if she wanted to meet up someday got me on my way at first i felt bad i was hungover in a part of town that i didn't recognize and a girl just kicked me out but it was a beautiful sunny day and as i found my way home i slowly started to feel better hungover as i was i decided that this was a great time to a haircut after getting my hair fixed i felt great wasn't even a one-night stand started playing magic the gathering with her brother in the garage ended up in her room talking just long enough for her grandparents who she was living with to stick a shotgun in my face and tell me to leave yeah never talk to her again [Music] you

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Id: _fuS-e_jwnI

Length: 24min 46sec (1486 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 18 2020