People Reveal Their Worst One Night Stands (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories)

what is your worst experience of waking up after a one-night stand woke up alone and make it in my bed figure dude left no big deal suddenly had terrible horrible awful intense stomach cramps got up to go to the bathroom had to run with my hand cupped under my ass to avoid getting sh t everywhere protip don't do this t gets everywhere anyways no use getting it all over your hands to close bracket anyways liquid sh t exploded out of my ass for a good 15 minutes was sitting on the toilet grateful dude had left and wasn't there to witness my horrible dreaded ass piecing episode got it all out took a shower went back to my room to find a huge brown puddle in my bed we fell asleep spooning dude was a big spoon needless to say we never spoke again TL DR probably shat on a dude in my sleep he punched me in his sleep which resulted in me having a pretty bad black eye for a couple days we are friends though so he's never heard the end of it I always given for your information and apology ahead of time due to how violent I am in my sleep for any potential cuddle buddy I try to not fall asleep as big spoon we spent the night together at a party we woke up reminiscing of the night before he walked to the gas station to get us drinks and snacks I had bubble gut so I farted one time it smelled like there he came back maybe 10 minutes later and it still wreaked and he started yelling about dogs T woke everyone in the house up he still doesn't know it was me she wanted me to stay for the night I didn't want to but I did I woke up in the middle of the night and tried to sneak out just to find out the door was locked she woke up and asked me where I was going double quote water was the only thing that came to mind she walked with me to the kitchen walked with me back to the room and locked the door again I served in the US Navy and on one of our visits to Singapore I met a girl at a club called fire I think that was the name woke up at her apartment in the morning about two hours from the time my ship was set to depart after having spent all my cash the night before no idea where I was in no idea how I would get back as I was trying to figure out what I was going to do one of the other guys from my ship called the girl it turns out that they were friends and he saw me leave the club with her the night before he had a taxi meet me at her place and got me back to the ship in time I woke up to her wheelchair-bound husband pointing a gun to my face damn Cougars I woke up and went outside to call an uber home after hooking up with this girl and going back to her house one night turns out her dad as an uber driver and guess who was his first customer of the day hands-down the most awkward car ride I have ever experienced the previous night was Valentine's Day I had just been dumped by a long-term boyfriend I was drunk in Walgreens looking at the flowers and chocolates thinking about my ex Ivan decided it would be a good idea to buy him a balloon and some flowers and leave it outside his house because these are the kind of brilliant ideas I get while drinking got outside let go of the balloon and it flew away started crying some dude in his car asked me what was wrong woke up next morning he started telling me about how he was trying to be a rapper made me listen to some really bad stuff he had wrote I had to get out get up to leave tells me I have to wait until his grandmother's the house to play bridge with her buddies because he lives with her since he can't afford to live on his own I finally get to leave after a couple hours of extreme uncomfortable and awkward feelings of regret as I walk out I see his grandma had put the flowers I bought in a vows on the table waking up and being asked to leave and then going outside to find my car was towed then having to go back inside and wait woke up next to my one-night stand she had P said the bed there were a total of nine people in the house only the to home owners knew each other everyone else were total strangers come to find out I'm in a different state which to be fair is only like two hours away from where I live I had to sit around in PS s soaked clothes with a bunch of strangers while my friend came and picked me up he made me put on a trash bag in his car all her one-year-old son crawled in bed and woke me up he thought I was his daddy for some odd reason I didn't mind it came home with a girl from the bar we were both trashed had a sex by a dog watched she vomited on me while performing oral SX cleaned up as best as I could before passing out woke up in the morning to her mom attempting to kill me asking who was in her room he said no one go away before telling me that I couldn't leave until her parents left for work no way in hell I was staying for two hours with puke D CK I climbed out her window on the second floor and jumped off of the roof stuck the landing and jogged her way down the street into a cul-de-sac turned around to get out and her mom is on the front lawn in a bathrobe staring me down holding her morning coffee walked to a gas station where a friend picked me up edit oh and I got chlamydia TLDR took a puke covered walk of shame pass her mother woke up to a bunch of snapshots of my penis from the girl I slept with she put a couple of them on her story I guess she did this when I was asleep edit we were PSS drunk the night before like the chick was still next to me when I was checking the snapshots I woke her up and had her delete them wasn't anything malicious SX was good though this girl's parents came home a couple days early and in the morning I was sleeping with her in her room with the couple alcohol bottles surrounded the bed with an ashtray filled with weed and a couple of roaches in there too well anyways parents came home and went upstairs was completely naked with no covers on and they'd just see my schlong just out in the open I thought her dad was going to beat my ass probably the most awkward thing to ever happen to me not me but happened to a friend drunk girl comes barging into his dorm room clearly not sure where she is yelling for some guy who doesn't live there and proceeds to fall asleep in my bro's bed he proceeds to pick up his gameboy and plays games all night until she wakes up the next morning very confused about what had happened oh I've got this one I posted it a while back but here's the gist got insanely drunk at a hipster bar and met this cute little pixie chick we went back to place double back beefs divot and passed out on her bed all what I thought was her bed when I awoke the next morning it became abundantly clear that she had absolutely no furniture in her room every surface this includes bed and makeshift desk was comprised solely of dirty clothes little mountains of them it didn't smell too bad considering but still wasn't pleasant I sneaked out while she was burrowing deeper into the bed pile I should also mention that I wear contacts and didn't have my glasses with me turns out I drunkenly remove my contacts and flung them go so I then proceeded to very blindly still drunkenly stumble to five miles back to my house ah college I was house-sitting for my dad who was out of town for a week had a girl over who I've known for six years and my dad was pretty involved at my old high school so he knew her too he came home a day early and found us both naked in my old bed he thought it was hilarious the girl and I were both mortified basically a day after going too hard at a certain beach music festival I woke up in a really sandy and glittery pull-out couch bed in our condo that I was sharing with my older brother an older family friend and their friends with a guy I barely knew who happened to look exactly like Matt Lee Barker I was horrified because they'd all came in flashbacks this very loud hallway bathroom of our condo SX encounter of the Fourth Kind he drank like half the handle of our liquor and I remember him peeing throwing up at the same time after us doing the deed and then falling into the bathtub he also threw up on the floor and on my bag next to the couch of course he woke up and didn't remember a single thing I honestly felt so bad for him and ashamed that I did that in front of my fam that I took him to wattle house and hung out with him at the beach needless to say not my proudest moment more like my worst moment edit just thanks for all who made this my most upvoted comment I'm glad I can share this small misery with my fellow redditors the girl had bit my lip till it bled I had bruises and cuts on my body and she had peed on her own floor she couldn't remember my name either have been together for over a year and half and I've never been happier this was a Craigslist hookup when I was 22 just starting to crossdress went over to this guy's house after texting him for a few days nice house on the north end of town he's 30 and we smoked a lot of weed and he tricked me stupid in about three different room I did not plan on falling asleep there at all I wake up at 10 in the morning I'm still wearing my white thigh-highs from the night before and my white crop top no panties I'm in his bed and he's not anywhere to be found I find my phone and my sneaks and my panties put my sneakers on and I'm just walking around this dude's house looking for my boy clothes it's a two-bedroom so it's not like it's a mansion he lives alone so the house was really clean which was somehow more frustrating cause it was so much quicker to search every room multiple times for my clothes and wallet around 11 o'clock I noticed that my phone is about to die I start texting my roommate I'm just gonna come clean to my best friend about my whole lifestyle and all of this sh t and as I'm typing out this confession of me being a [ __ ] and needing a ride home from a hookup my phone dies I stopped crying and I'm just like wandering the house and suddenly I bump into this sliding door I hadn't noticed before it's a freaking laundry room my goddamn clothes are folded on the dryer my wallet and keys are placed neatly next to them I swear I have never felt such sudden and gratifying relief in all of my life her boyfriend walked in understandably P said I got out of bed and walked across the hall to my room family member after a wedding reception with an open bar can't remember much as she could not either but we both woke up in the nude with multiple used condoms all over the hotel room she wet my bed during the night aaww man imagine how horrific ly embarrassing that would be she probably had to deal with that problem in her whole life just to wake up in a stranger's bed with the worst having happened poor girl you guys were drunk as skunks in which case you are probably lucky it wasn't number two first one-nighter I had was in my early twenties when I'd only bang people I was in relationships with I'm very much the stereotypical gaming nerd casual SX is not in my personality at all so I woke up my apartment she was asleep next to me and I had no idea what to do if I woke up next to a GF I died the candle hair or get up and boil the kettle so I got up to do that but phased out and stir naked in the doorway looking at my couch in the other room for I don't know how long came out of my reverie when she said what on earth are you doing I don't really remember what happened think she just got dressed had a drink and left wasn't a bad experience I guess and we're still in touch but I was really put off by how out of character it was for me went to an older lady's house one night next morning her kid comes in and he's at least 16 - 17 he's like oMG mom another one ' woke up on the other side of London pretty happy with myself until I realized all I had - well as a tiger ani she know she s not T sure just boxers and a tiger ani she going through London rush hour in a tiger on the she with the remains of tiger face paint was interesting a guy woke up in a freshman dorm we both smelled a vomit for some reason we pulled up a bush and the root distributed dirt all over the floor I tried to sneak out but was greeted in the hallway by a chubby girl with a broom and I had to clean up the room and I left doing the walk of shame holding a giant bush I didn't find the home for it but it was never the same after that oh and I lost a shoe my freshman year of college I had a one-night stand with a girl from tinder once I met her she told me she was on probation for punching her ex boyfriend in the face and breaking his nose my young self didn't care and just wanted to get laid the next morning after I left her place she texted me saying she was drunk which was completely untrue because neither me or her had anything to drink and there was consent she was furious with my response and threatened to call the police and charged me with slander I was confused so just thought she was crazy and brushed it off the next night I went to a party with my friends she was there she was completely belligerent and came up to me asking me to freak her I said no and she tried to punch me I backed away and walked out the door she followed him through a bottle of Seagram's vodka which hit a cop car she was arrested that night and went to jail moral of the story think with your brain not your D CK woke up between a young married couple I met at the bar the night before I spent the morning awkwardly being shown their wedding photos from just three weeks prior when it was time to politely jet I couldn't find my other sock at which point the husband excitedly shouts souvenir I was a sophomore in college hooked up with a kid I met at a party he was a freshman I was really wasted and he really wanted to put it in my butt I guess I'll let him I woke up the next morning still drunk and his friend was sleeping on the floor of the dorm with a stuffed banana a vomited on the bus of the way back to my dorm room missed my classes that day and then sh t blood for three days worst experience ever found out I hit my face on the nightstand while sleeping and got her bloody nose my entire chest and face was covered in blood when I woke up needless to say it freaked both of us out law this was the one and only one-night stand I had I'm not that type really I'm a second year university student in my first year I was up and our club is very drunk on the walk home I messaged a girl I'd had a few drunken nights with before seeing if she was up she said she was and that I could go over on the walk there I'm approached by a drug dealer who offers me some weed i buy a grin off him to take round when I get round to her as we smoke a joint in her conservatory before heading to the bedroom she going down on me and all of a sudden the alcohol and weed I've just heard hits all at once and I threw up directly onto this cool girl's head as you would expect she freaks the freak out and kicks me out on the street and it took three hours to get home that would have been it had I not woken the next morning realizing I didn't have my phone so I had to walk back to this girl's house hanging out my arse and sheepishly asked for my phone back after throwing up on her the previous night TL DR threw up on a girl's head while she was blowing me had to go back to her house the next morning and retrieve me phone which I'd left there one night I was out grabbing some wings and beer with the boys and about five younger men join us later on we get to talking and some a sort of tension arises between me and two of them everyone else leaves leaving me and these two men I am over 50 B leaning more towards men and both of these young men are 21 ish we closed down the place and go back to my place a pretty normal I ensued but the real kicker comes the next morning I find out that these two lads are my son's friends TL DR is spit-roasted by two of my son's friends we went to her house developing and went to sleep woke up next morning to a really heavy set kid in the doorway I said hey and he starts laughing hysterically it was her special needs lil bro I woke up she was gone but my friends busted in showing me pictures of the skanky looking chick with a sh t you not black teeth dude this is the girl you freaked last night the most aggressive shower ever taken followed never saw her again and never looked at her picture again don't know her name or where she lives all I remember are those black teeth and that's the last time I got PSS drunk without a trusted experienced wingman I had a one-night stand a couple weeks ago that I thought would be the beginning of a nice love story she was babysitting a kid that I trained to play soccer I was really digging this girl we went out and we were dancing in Wapner hitting it off really well long story short when we got to my house I heard her doing coke in my bathroom and when I woke up the next day she was gone never spoke about it again I was in Vancouver on a port visit and spent most of the night drinking and the rest scouring the city for somebody who maybe had some shrooms for sale I asked this random girl on the street ended up in a conversation with her we go back to her place and smoke and she proceeds to make me instant mac and cheese but left out any trace of butter or milk being a gentleman I silently eat said mac and cheese the night progresses and we hook up in the morning massively hungover I realize what happened the night before and I sheepishly slip out of the house before she wakes up I then realize I don't have a penny on me and I don't know where I am spend the rest of the day trying to find my way back to my ship a freaking sailor's life for me [Music]

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Id: 81bzxsPT0bo

Length: 20min 12sec (1212 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 04 2019