What's your "I'm done with this friendship "moment?

what was your i'm done with this friendship moment i put a lot of effort in helping my girl get out of debt caused by shopping sprees no car no school she just racked up 25k buying stuff and on top of that she admitted to spending like a thousand dollars a month on doordash so i focused on getting her out of that first i work in a place where i get a lot of excess food for free especially meal kits so i have an excess of meat and produce every week and i offered to help her out that way i brought her a selection of foods and recipes and when i brought it to her she expected me to cook it for her she said she hated cooking and would not cook for herself ever it was the final nail in the coffin at that moment i couldn't do it anymore and bounced i quit doing drugs and informed all my friends that i'm going clean i was still drinking though and one night i got really drunk and closed my eyes on the couch everything was spinning but i can hear my former friend trying to convince my girlfriend to allow him to put coke in my nose she yelled back at him and said that we quit and we're going clean he kept trying to push it and after a little while she helped me into the car and locked the doors sleeping there till we sobered up and drove home that was five years ago and dive stayed clean i haven't hung out with him since and from what i heard he's moved on to meth and never got clean we all moved in together which never goes well one of them didn't have a job the other one had a job but stopped showing up to shifts so i was paying 90 of the rent while living off disability money from the government i was basically their maid whenever it wasn't my turn to do the dishes they would leave the dishes until they got moldy then i would do them i did all their laundry for them and even bought food for them the straw that broke the camel's back was i went out of town to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time i asked them to take care of my cats while i was gone which includes cleaning the litter box since i was gone for over a week when i got back the litter box was completely overflowed to the point there was poop on the floor all around the litter box and no one did anything about it the garbage wasn't taken out to the point where they would just throw their garbage on the floor beside it since i wasn't there to do their laundry and they didn't clean the litter box they left giant piles of clothes everywhere which my cats decided to pee on because it was a clean spot to bury their business and of course the dishes were out of control and disgusting also they ate all my food i just cried because i knew i would have to clean everything but i decided not to except the litter box i told the landlord i was moving out but they were staying i left all this they didn't clean up even though the dishes were mine towels were mine and even left the tiny amount of food i had left the power and internet wasn't my name so i cancelled it on them all that happened to them was they just found someone else to leech off of which is unfortunate we were maybe 12 years old and every single day was non-stop drama and a self-pity party with her every time her custom text tone rang from my phone my heart jumped that's how exhausting she was one day she said you're not as fun as you used to be i was just furious and hurt by that comment after spending many nights trying to make her happy because she was always so sad i basically said excuse me for acting like an adult she never answered back and we did not talk at all after that until i was 19 i reached out to her for nostalgia's sake and she was a lot more mature she actually apologized to me for acting like an immature emo kid all the time we chatted for a little bit and it was nice we still don't talk but it was nice to catch up and be on good terms with each other i deleted my entire friend group who i was friends with throughout high school from my life entirely after i went on to college my university friend group were all very caring for each other and so supportive and celebrated each other's successes my friend group from my hometown were quite the opposite always in competition with each other and full of macho egos it wasn't until i experienced what being involved with a genuinely good group of people was like that i realized that wasn't what i had with these people at all after that realization i didn't want anything else to do with them and their toxicity we were best friends as kids still really good friends in high school left high school went over to see him after he came home for christmas from university we hadn't spoken in four months and i was really looking forward to catching up i went to his parents house and they invited me in he sat opposite and proceeded to stonewall all attempts at conversation with single word answers and no return questions i got the hint he wasn't in the mood and told him to contact me in a few days if you wanted to get a drink and catch up properly no call ever came that was 8 years ago he disinvited me from a board game night because he turned it into a birthday party from my rapist at the last minute and yes he'd known what had happened and had promised to never let that guy set foot in his house again then when i got upset and called him out on it he told me he thought i'd made the whole thing up that i was overreacting and not to talk to him until i calmed down and got over it that was seven years ago i'm still furious i had something similar happen to me actually many similar situations unfortunately i had a friend who told me they were no longer friends with my ex-boyfriend slash rapist after i told them about what happened and the ongoing investigation she even went as far to tell me where he was on campus so i could avoid said area and talk bad about him anytime they could one night i'm walking to our local pizza place on campus to meet her for a late dinner when she texts me not to come as my rapist was there since i had been doing some intense therapy and decided i did not want to be afraid anymore i told her i was coming anyways and we would have a good time and ignore him i didn't want to allow him to intimidate me anymore i get there and lo and behold my friend is sitting at one of the tables with my rapist chatting away it became very apparent they had never stopped being friends and that she was most likely saying crap about me behind my back to him as she had been doing to me trying to give her a second chance as i did not have many friends left after i told people what had happened and they did not believe me because he was so nice i walked by them as they both glanced at me i sat at the table with my back to them and waited to see if she would come sit with me instead 5 minutes drew by then 10 then 25 all the while i started to realize she valued her friendship with him more than she did with me at that point i knew the friendship was over grabbed my pizza and promptly left the next morning she somehow got into my dorm building and knocked and cried at my door for two hours begging for me to forgive her as well as sending a massive apology text of course to neither of which i responded to we don't stand quote-unquote friends who claim they believe you yet continue being your rapists friend anyways granted a lot of things led up to the end of our friendship i got judged for being myself and constantly judged the way i lived my life the final straw was after my breakup of 5 years with my ex she said my feelings don't matter and that her wedding is more important than my feelings she decided last minute to add him to the wedding party fully knowing that we just broke up and i was not handling it well i had to suck it up i said f that and haven't spoken to her since about few months later i was talking to some new friends and they all agreed that that was messed up no true friend would do that to another for a wedding glad to say my new friends love me for who i am and i can finally be myself without getting judged i met her when we were in our early 20s and we clicked immediately she was a little crazy but i liked that about her we partied together we talked for hours we did the whole best girlfriend sharing a blanket and laughing at stupid movies thing it was an intense but fun friendship but then time moved on we started having a few arguments she would lash out at me we nearly came to blows one night when she was super drunk and started insulting me i forgave her i had seen her have drama with everyone else we knew but i thought what we had was different we were like sisters we remained friends eventually i got married had a kid and moved to another city one night around 3 a.m she called me upset about something her boyfriend had done despite waking me and my baby up in the middle of the night i tried to be a good friend and be there for her problem was her phone kept crapping out and she kept calling back over and over after the sixth or the seventh time she asked if her calling was bothering me i told her it was fine but it did keep waking the baby and i asked if maybe we could continue the combo the next day she went ballistic screaming and cursing me out she hurled every insult you can imagine at me once she had screamed herself out i told her to f off and hung up on her i was done i've never spoken to her again old friends from high school we tried to make it work over the years even though he was getting engaged he couldn't keep his hands to himself when he was around me when i attempted broaching the subject with another mutual friend they waved it away and justified his actions then they immediately told him so he could blow up my phone to apologize about the misunderstanding i was stupid enough to roll with it because it made me doubt myself and because i wanted my friends to be happy he ended up doing it again and i haven't seen any of that group since i hate that a part of me regrets it even though i know i have nothing to feel sorry for she was coming to my city after not seeing her for years i asked her to call me as i would come to any place she was she never called which was fine i figured she was busy with family but what stopped me from speaking to her was i found out during that trip she did meet up with people and trash talked me to one of these people who told me like why bothered to call me and tell me that you were coming if you know you didn't want to see me i had a lot going on and no time for it so i cut all contact i ended up hospitalized and she found out and called the hospital for me i was happy to catch up with her but it had been too long to be friends again we didn't speak again it's sad to me though she was in the delivery room when i had my baby she was my child's godmother but the last time she saw my child was when she was a baby my child is now about to graduate high school she was my first friend at four years old and we were born exactly a week apart so me and this girl meet in secondary school and she just transferred there because she was bullied at her old school i thought i'd be nice and cheer her around and help her make friends a few months later we're inseparable always sleeping over spending every day together so i never noticed that anytime she got a boyfriend or girlfriend that she would distance herself fast forward two years later and i was going through a very dark stage in my life coming to terms with a dark event that happened in my childhood and i was looking for my best friend for comfort but no she just got a new boyfriend so she was very busy and began making up fake excuses forgetting about her snapchat story i literally saw her out with everyone and not inviting me out so me being in a dark place this made it way worse as i thought my best friend was abandoning me another week passed and i pulled myself together and forced myself to get ready tracks with bottoms and a baggy hoodie the lazy look you know go to meet my best friend after weeks of being ignored and stuck inside my house i sat in our meetup spot for three and a half hours waiting for her texting her asking where she was bear in mind it's uk winter weather so i'm cold and wet waiting for someone to talk to she texts me saying sorry i can't make it i'm sick in the house i didn't notice and then i realized i see her i'm sitting across from her watching her text me this message i got up and left never replied to her messages after that i don't think i ever had a dramatic friendship breakup but i knew i was pretty much done with one of my friends in particular after we graduated high school we became friends in third grade soon after she moved to my town and from the start she treated me like trash she threatened to break off the friendship every other day then laughed it off as a joke she made negative comments about my weight and often made it clear she preferred her other friends over me flash forward to senior year she signed us up to walk together at graduation without even asking first and straight up told me she did it because her other friends already had someone then at my graduation party she made plans to celebrate her birthday in front of me inviting a friend she barely talked to anymore and didn't say a word about me being allowed to come that was the last time i ever saw or talked to her and i hope she's happy but i can't say i miss her i had been dating a girl for a few months everything was going great i was planning on meeting her for a drink after work i arrived to the restaurant and was waiting at the bar 20 minutes later i texted her to see if she was almost there she said i can't make it tonight i then called my best friend to see if he wanted to come have a drink since i was already there no answer i left and went home i found out later that night that she met up with him to hook up he said she talked him into it and it wasn't his fault i no longer associated with either of them we met when we were around 10 and went to middle and high school together best friends during the last couple of years he started to ditch our group your average geeks for another group he met somewhere your average geeks but with daddy's money and all the latest gaming consoles more and more shortly before the end of senior year i was diagnosed with cancer every one of my close friends and even some others i did not expect went to see me he did not well this happened yesterday and was actually the other way around she ended our friendship for the last few months this girl has been forcing extremist leftist views down people's throats on her social media about how periods are beautiful and fun about body positivity for beautiful obese 400 pound women about how due to blm protest all police are toxic this irritates me since we're both from the netherlands where our police forces are way different from whatever they're doing in america and she has been getting into extreme veganism as well now don't get me wrong it's not that i necessarily disagree with these things the problem for me lies in the fact that she forces these politics down everyone's throats and won't take responses she makes fun of everyone with different views she posted a video on her snapchat story about her making fun i'd call it bullying of her mom for eating chicken wings it was very disrespectful and kinda disturbing so back to what happened yesterday she suddenly started sending me all kinds of facebook articles about animals being killed for their meat i was really not in the mood for this so after she sent me like five articles i replied with i don't really care can you just kindly respect other people for their food choices she burst it out with a well then i will end our friendship here she immediately blocked me without letting me respond i am not a vegetarian and now she hates me for not being one ending our friendship for it forgetting all we've been through and all the amazing things we've done together it's pathetic i think i dodged an ever sharpening bullet with this conversation [Music] my childhood best friend invited me out for a drink at a restaurant he was at near my apartment he and his girlfriend had just finished dinner and we ordered a pitcher of pbr and chatham after the beer the waitress brought the bill and he suggested we split it in half i was like no dude i'm not paying for your dinner so i started to read the check and calculate my portion of the bill he started making a scene saying so the guy who went to community college is going to do the math for me i called him the next day to tell him how uncool that was and he just kept interrupting me saying we need to not drink so much seriously you were so drunk off the pint of pbr no dude that was the last time i talked to him [Music] you

Channel: Ask Planet

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Id: hCeYn5aQWZY

Length: 17min 58sec (1078 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 29 2020