Atheists, what would you do if God was in front of you?

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like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit atheists of reddit you die and wake up with God standing in front of you what do you say do I did my best to be good without believing I was being judged we were looking for the opposite poles lever wrong lever Kronk why do we even have that lever smacks crack in behalf of everyone duck you for mosquitos as a kid I at some point considered eradicating mosquitoes to be a future career reasonably found out people bred ones that can't carry malaria and other diseases and released them in large hoards I know it's to breed out disease carriers but still there are also variants that foster only impotent offspring occupying the reproductive cycle with offspring that can't reproduce this sounds more in line with what you're after and there goes the food chain I stand corrected I read this in Peter O'Toole's voice happy cake day you don't need to be if you murder him in his sleep ha I guess I was wrong about that cancer thing I sent you a book and a whole bunch of really intense preachers who said you should believe everything the book said what more clothes did you need actual proof and not just a book that was written by humans when information was spread by word of mouth and when we were much less scientifically advanced than we are now I wanted to believe in you but you never gave me a reason to god there's billions of you and I gotta go out of my way for you suck an egg and enjoy your stay iced tea all-powerful he should have infinite time for every living organism got clingy much pay I followed the evidence you left and found it to be inconclusive at best can't fault me for using the brain you gave me good on you using that noggin true that who made you who made who Angus did WH o turned the screw that's a twist I didn't see coming ok so did any of those arguing down there get it right almost every religion got at least 10% right but this guy Doug force had got like 95% right after getting high on mushrooms in his basement I don't get it but it sounds like something Douglas Adams would right I'm atheist I believe that there are many things out there that we do not understand and that we cannot currently explain I also believe that twitch as being explained refused much of what religions believe to be true if I'm wrong and end up standing in front of a God when I die hopefully he'll see that I lived a good life and tried to be the best person I could be regardless of religion I don't need punishments for bad deeds at the end of my time on earth to be the motivation to be a good person I would hope that any God that is the job of judging me sees this I like this if I'm wrong and end up standing in front of a God when I die hopefully he'll see that I lived a good life and tried to be the best person I could be regardless of religion unfortunately it doesn't matter rejecting God is punishable with Hellfire regardless if you were a good person or not which is actually BS cuz there's no Hellfire and Hell according to the Bible hell is just the absence of God for all we know it's the ducting void how dare you create a world in which there is such misery I mean cancer in children really it's utterly utterly evil why should I respect a capricious mean minded stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain Stephen Fry smart man I've been thinking of some way to say something similar but why not just go with what works Opie this is my answer as well while I agree than any God that says they are omniscient and omni-benevolent can eat this response this doesn't apply for God's outside this category say there's a God that wants to do good or doesn't have a perfect moral compass and as a result created a world with a lot of pain and suffering what if the God couldn't do better or my favorite possibility what if there is a good God in a bad God one is omniscient but only elects to do things that are good and is only and one is omniscient but elects to do only bad things of his own malevolent this is a good response to any God who claims to be morally perfect and all-powerful but otherwise I wouldn't say this and what if there are hundreds of little Mouse gods on each continent that look exactly like other mice bird watchers and if you kill one of them you will be punished we can imagine millions of different beings and call them God because human imagination is powerful that does not mean any of the ones we will all have dreamed up are real the question asked if we see God after death that styling is usually used for the Abrahamic God who is supposedly tree Omni which one are you for Vishnu is that really you it was me do well what God an elderly looking man with a white beard and flowing white robes holding a Bible in one hand and a necklace with a cross on it or a brown skinned dude wearing an Arabian costume an elephant man with eight arms a giant lizard with laser beams shooting out of its eyes awesome being that has never been described by any religion we know of on earth I mean you can describe the creator of the universe as God and shor argue that it exists even that it can be seen by us after we die but that doesn't give any hints whatsoever about anything about this God at all maybe we just see the Higgs boson particle in which case it can't really converse with it so I guess I wouldn't say anything a giant lizard with laser beams shooting out of its eyes awesome being that has never been described by any religion we know of on earth so the giant lizard is part of some religion and I didn't know that's a reference to God Zillah a far more plausible God than the others mentioned earlier I'm pretty sure there is some type of cosmic horror and the deep sea so I can say it isin't plausible to exist great job on cancer and plagues don't you don't get to judge me just it and uhm religious wars do you get uncomfortable when human women moan oh gosh yes and similar phrases when they orgasm or is that a turn-on for you it's a turn-off because that's a sin well damn god it was meant to be a compliment ha won the Hangout I got some quality dope that's actually how you died guess God really wanted some quality weed hello this is my favorite reply lol oh my god Becky look at her butt it's so big still not convinced you're gonna have to try better than that hahaha I washed either when I saw remember that time I believed in you when I was younger yep let's stick to that hello hello there and God replies general Kenobi he was a bold one well [ __ ] so which one are you just send me to hell I asked you for help for years and you failed me no matter how good I was I was seven duck you the most relatable answer you go down there look at all the suffering and all the crazy hypocrites claiming to speak for you and tell me if you would believe that there was any higher power especially one that gives a duck for your sake ROH couldn't you at least keep the pedophiles from using your house as a place to hook up well I'll be damned not an atheist but a non Denham who doesn't practice either I'm more of a believe it whenever I see it type usually though so I'd be filled with such love and happiness that he's actually real sounds like an agnostic attitude yes I know this is in fact another word for it smiling face can I have a go since you're not playing anymore why cancer man your son brought it into this world my dear child I'd like to speak to the manager please I'd like to think I'd tell him to go duck himself because if he was real he would be the most evil being in existence judging off the Bible but in reality eternal damnation doesn't sound great so I'll shuffle off and mingle with the Sheep oh you should be ashamed of yourself can you send me to hell already he is way more sane than you I find your methodology unethical which one are you and why do babies get cancer dude was this your first try or the side project you just left alone to see what would happen either way I called her done better bro flip him the double bird then kick him in the abdomen daang kick him in the dog he ain't using it oh [ __ ] I was totally ducking wrong didn't you create atheists edit row' a lot of responses I didn't expect on my first day on reddit my comment to even matter I think if an all-powerful God was standing in front of me I would feel the power of their presence but I would then ask him it's this easy for me to know who you are why did you make it damn near impossible for the rest of my life what the hell dude if you made me in your image you know why I didn't believe in you nothing either God finds me worthy because I have lived a righteous life independent of his religion whichever that one may be or he judges me to not be worthy in which case he is a hypocrite because he forgives believers for murder rape and all manner of other nasty behavior but will not forgive me skepticism either way it's a win I gain entry on merit or I join the ranks in Hell in helping to overthrow a hypocrite what in the actual Dutch were you thinking okay well you have no proof except a book that seems like someone wrote a drunk Plus duck you four periods painfully childbirth plagues and every else that sucks you can't punish me for not believing what God would let people bite into KitKat's without splitting them up first of all I'd ask him if he could prove he's a god in not some kind of alien with fancy tech that my primitive mind just can't grasp if he'd somehow actually be God I'd want a serious talk about all the atrocities he committed in the Bible's stories and why he'd allow all the terrible things that happened through history cause if he'd be real he certainly has more in common with a malevolent demon king than with a loving and caring deity who are you like some Skyrim well duck okay where's the door to hell I'm assuming that's where you're sending me your piece of [ __ ] you're kind of an a-hole Hut I'm not one of those smug a-holes who would think of something witty to say to God I'd probably just stand there in some sort of terrible stupor too frightened to comprehend what I was seeing if God can even take a form my feeble mind can process at all I probably wouldn't even be able to recognize I was dead unless God told me sir I would do his bidding whatever that may be where the hell have you be I refer to Steven's flies take on this exact question youtube link join our community discord link in description sorry there was just no evidence I'm sure I was more polite to you by not believing in you and acting right rather than being okay with a tyrannical genocidal maniac who tortures people eternally for finite arbitrary crimes all my life I struggled I cried I went through things no one should have to go through I cried myself to sleep throughout half my childhood I prayed and begged for some sort of sign that you were looking out for me that you loved me that you cared I only got more hurt you never helped me through a second olive I helped myself I don't care if you are here now you were never there when it actually mattered I didn't believe in you then and I don't believe in you now me visibly biffed god is this about the trans me yes a hole where's my dong at what the duck is your problem like seriously damn my feelings would be heavily conflicted I would of course be thrown for a loop but at the same time I would be angry how dare someone all-powerful and all-knowing craft a world where children have insects hatch and their eyes indeed them out how dare someone create a world where part of their plan is what Peter Scully did to blame the human race because apparently it's our own fault for living in a world steeped in sin but the all-knowing jackass knew all the crap in Eden was going to happen so he is just torturing us for fun and in regards to Satan why would you create angels capable of those feelings and then punish them for being exactly how you made them again if he is all-knowing and all-powerful he could have just not given him those feelings of jealousy or pride or at the very least not condemned him for having them in summary I would probably be very angry and very afraid of what would happen next because his record of behavior isn't great laughs really hard what reason do I have to believe that you're God rather than for example a super intelligent super powerful alien I knew it you have got a ton of explaining to do I mean you see what it looks like down there can you blame me make a try for the throne go to do something to entertain myself for eternity maybe in heaven I can 1v1 God who knows is it too late to repent huichol ha ha ha ha that made me smile hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death amen x3 your followers unter doing you any justice rather the opposite that was honestly 9 out of 10 for the problem I'd probably dazzle God with my majestic poetry skills sorry did I tried my best but gente titties made me forget to confess nothing God should understand exactly where you're coming from so you are real good job on all the child cancers don't send me to hell at least still be warm I have seen this one a few times but I won't play series of questions which religion got it right why why give kids cancer that's messed up what is the point of freewill if you get mad at our choices duck off are there other gods if so how come I am not talking to them what is the meaning of life had to ask of course please tell me it's 42 what is your actual stunts of lbgtq Plus people is there other intelligent life in the universe why why not were you high when you came up with the platypus if so that's hilarious is there a devil evil deity did you create them why is that devil evil deity punishes bad people are they really evil would they not welcome the bad people Oh back to religion why haven't you corrected all the misinterpretations of religion that happens to be correct of the thousands of religions throughout history were dinosaurs a sandbox playthrough and you decided to start a new game on the same world is 13 an unlucky number I'm afraid that many people in this threat do not fully comprehend the concept of balance why do why o you how Vetter mikekim consider if the world was perfect zero disease zero hunger zero sadness everyone was smart and healthy and earthquakes didn't happen and tornados didn't rip apart houses from their foundation then everyone would be truly happy right no that's not possible even if nature was perfect in the sense that diseases and natural disasters didn't exist humans would still be the same jealousy violence would still be a thing but there is always good people who help others who love and care despite our world being not perfect there is no such thing as a perfect world I agree that the current situation is far from good but life has its ups and downs yeah I understand that people unhappy in this world if they dream of a perfect one but if in a perfect world you have nothing to fight for everything is already perfect someone could argue spend your life with your loved ones etc but the concept and feeling of love would be much less important in the world where no one dies of cancer and no one is sad sorry for going this deep but I just wanted to explain my thoughts on why balance is an asset we aspect of life I say hello no point in being rude is there realistically I'd be [ __ ] my pants I wouldn't be saying any of this goofy poetic [ __ ] after I'm done freaking out I'd be asking him questions about the nature of the universe which religion was right the limits of his powers and what other powerful beings besides him exist I mean you've got an all-knowing being in front of you you've got the answers to any question you can think of right there you thought you could create paradise in seven days you can't even plan a good brunch in seven days I am not quite atheist but I don't have believes at all Buddhism philosophy is much closer for me because it doesn't require to believe in anything and it's just more practical and accurate to me but if I would die and meet a god I would probably ask him so many concrete questions about how he created a world since in that case he should not have answers for every question kinda depends what God it was I mean there are an awful lot of them that have been invented by the mind of man not to mention the innumerable different versions of named gods for example Mormons Jehovah's a lot different to Catholic Jehovah while this is awkward yep so I was wrong but the burden of proof was on you you're lazy jackass from the bottom of humanity's heart go tuck yourself and send me downstairs instead who the duck do you think you are my bad but I tried to be good judge me almighty one well I guess I finally discovered what too much LSD really means why did you make me an atheist okay fair enough I was wrong on that one but I still maintain you made this whole process way harder than it needed to be since you've capitalized God I'm going to assume you mean one of the old powerful versions ROH you're real you're ducking a hole you know that right well well well are you a Cokie bastard for context I once said that God wouldn't let me in heaven cows depending on how much other bastard he turns out to be I'd either punch or kill him have given the opportunity if you are God then I must be dovakin long time no see bro how would I know it's God is he putting that knowledge in my head I'll assume that I'd ask if he intended humans to end up like we did is he proud of us or disappointed did Lee make more creatures on other planets or are we the only ones how big is the universe how does he feel about how he is portrayed in the Bible was Jesus really his son but just a regular person who had some good lessons is there really a heaven and hell my most important question would be why is it so hard to live sometimes some people have it really easy and some people get the short end of the stick with mental illness and poverty why does he allow people to suffer are we supposed to fix it is this our big test is there even a big test I have so many questions I'm more agnostic than atheist but I'd say hello how are you and probably marvel over the fact that he/she it probably doesn't look like Susan the Disney adaptation of Hercule or if he/she had does I'd also marvel at that then the questions would begin that was pretty good I say and I run up to him tag your IT then I run away and hide completely depends on which god you are referring to if it's Jesus YH WHL of them he would get a ducking if oh how dare you create humanity with the ability to create a system of reasoning that allows us to describe the nature of our reality and have that system inevitably led us to the conclusion that believing in you is irrational how dare you only reveal yourself to one tiny section of the Middle East leaving billions of people to die without ever getting a chance to know the truth and therefore suffer in hell for all eternity you are a small petty capricious a-hole who doesn't deserve one ounce of worship now where the hell is Lucifer it rather suffer for eternity with him and look at your Jenna Seidel face for one second depends on the God it can go duck himself with a metal spike most of the gods that are part of Pantheon's are also a-holes to varying degrees but at least they're basically just people I did some duct up [ __ ] thousands of years ago is way more acceptable for some dude who happens to be immortal than someone claiming to be infallible ha I didn't believe in you because if a God did exist they wouldn't be such a giant a-hole to the human race I guess I was wrong proceeded to point out that although I was wrong all these years he'd best readied himself for the ass-kicking of a lifetime I'll go down swinging where the duck you be brah funny you mention that I've been judging you too oh so you weren't dead I will say hello there I claim this realm for Texas what's Hitler doing in front of me taught twist to a very dark story well then I guess I was wrong does being a theast mean I go straight to hell do I get a trial or does heaven hell not exist hey do a thermistors go to hell wait I made it to heaven thanks for watching subscribe for 3 videos a day [Music]
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Channel: Ask Planet
Views: 405,670
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Keywords: ask reddit, reddit top posts, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit, updoot reddit, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit funny, askreddit, reddit and chill, reddit watchers, r/askreddit, reddit best, reddit compilation, askreddit top posts, askreddit stories, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, askreddit question, reddit on tap, Atheists you die and wake up with God standing in front of you what do you do, what do you do?
Id: 2oGzUtl423Q
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Length: 22min 49sec (1369 seconds)
Published: Tue Apr 14 2020
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