What's The SL*TTIEST Thing You've Done? - Funny Reddit Stories - r/AskReddit

r / arse credit what's the [ __ ] thing you've ever done made out with my best friend for a cheeseburger a man's got to eat lay hugged a girl once when I was 21 I wish I was kidding pour one out for my man F going to sex parties with 100s of people participating at some points and how do you get into said parties asking for a friend you make the mistake of thinking all the people at these parties are attractive you are assuming that's a priority was about to bang a girl and told her to go get my room mate from down the hall because I wanted to high-five him while we bleeped her she did was your room made there for the sole purpose of the high-five or was he a participant participant died not greedy having bleep with a woman I didn't like because my friend was making out with her friend he wanted to sleep in their house and we were far away from home and drunk a true friend jumps on the grenade I was hanging out with this boy and his girlfriend who I'd only met a few times we got drunk I kissed her then him and then he fingered me in a park let another woman go down on me in the toilets of the bar we just met it after chatting for maybe an hour or so I once got busy in the Burger King bathroom saw a girl hammering on my room mates door trying to get some meat I let her in my room you'd do it again this kind of thing used to be a regular occurrence when I lived in army barracks the fastest way to destroy any relationship was to show your GF where you lived my economics professor in uni actually said if the girls came in a [ __ ] outfit he'll remember your name and give some extra points on the exam so you can image what the exam room looked like that day edit this was in Japan the day he was fired nope he was a known bleep hole though left his wife to marry one of his students I think he's still teaching at my university go to hotel with someone I'd only ever met line didn't verify their identity didn't even consider I could get straight up murdered by a stranger I was just so lonely and horny ended up being some of the wildest craziest sex I've had fast-forward six years later and we are happily engaged and have a beautiful baby boy so how did you guys meet online dating was friends with benefits with a girl who thought she was bisexual she wanted to have a threesome to decide if she was we go to the club and meet second girl who has been hitting on first girl I've never met second girl before we get wasted at the club and are all dancing together go home and have a threesome first girl leaves in the morning for work and as soon as she leaves me and second girl have sex I stop seeing first girl and start seeing second girl I don't know whether you are bisexual or not but now you are definitely my ex shower with only socks on you dirty bleep I was feeling frisky one day so I texted three different guys for sex at the same time I figured the first one who got back to me would be it they all got back to me pretty quickly around the same time I grabbed a package of condoms and had a really fun day long one time I peed with my pants pulled all the way down I know a guy who got two girls pregnant at the same Halloween party yo WTF reading these I think I got the demo version of life just install the social skills and unfired DLCs fam had sex with a customer not but two hours after being her waiter at first I was like damn I just got laid out of nowhere but then I was like dude that was trashy yep been there I still wore my wedding ring and girls like a guy with a ring on it seems I told her I'm still married but not with her anymore but she said it was the ring the turned her on she wanted to be a bad girl and hook with a married guy sometimes I really want to hug someone you dirty [ __ ] went to Halloween dressed as a bonfire this women was a sexy firefighter she came over and just dragged me to her apartment we had sex I left no torque involved left her place and went back to the original party Cole think took it good 30 minutes 14 minute walk there and back ooh burn dance club in Baltimore boredom 1999 ich met a girl from Yahoo chat there while drinking and dancing stepped away to the restroom a different girl who remembered me from a previous clubbing night followed me into the bathroom ended up sneaking out the back door and banging her over the hood of the random parked car went back into the club found my date left the club stopped at my work to use the restroom banged her in my cubicle at 2:00 a.m. not a bad night huh guess good things do happen at 2:00 a.m. had a gloriously dirty threesome with my partner and their ex-girlfriend FWB we were allowed we were messy we tried a lot of things we ended up on the floor my partner's parents then invited us all to have a BB cue so we all just sat there awkwardly eating chicken wondering if they knew what we just did to their guest bed it was great ten tenths would bang again actually I did she's great my HS girlfriend cheated on me with a chick I broke up with her she begged for forgiveness and said she would do anything I asked for a threesome with her and her friend that she cheated with we did it it was okay afterwards I dropped my gf off at her house and got roadhead from the other chick while driving her home broke up with the girl again the next day Frick I feel like a scumbag again she cheated on you I think that evened it up a bit I have a relatively wealthy family member that used to host holiday parties it would be about half family and half friends but one time it was mostly friends and a lot of good-looking girls as any smart young man would do when ratios are in your favor I continually shoot my shots long story short they have eight bathrooms and I took a bleep in all of them within a few hours that she bottle style burritos tore me up my shots were off but my bleep were on fire this huh did not turn out like I expected I was pretty boring throughout most of college and generally just stayed in my single dorm room most nights I had recently ended an on-again off-again casual relationship with a vanilla guy from back home and was looking to blow off some steam and express my kinky side well I ended up finding a cute guy on tumblr it was 2011 give me a break who only went to school one state over and happened to be a Dom we started talking all the time and wanted to meet in person against my better judgment and everything I had been taught about not getting murdered by internet predators I invited him to spend a weekend with me at my college I picked him up from the train station brought him back to my dorm and within an hour of meeting in person we had sex and not just any sex I'd experienced sup until that point we experimented with spanking choking face slapping orgasm denial sensory deprivation etc it was so satisfying to finally explore my submissive side and all of these fetishes I had been only been fantasizing about we went on to have a short term D s relationship that ultimately ended due to distance but it was a lot of fun while it lasted I had just broken up with a boyfriend of over three years I got drunk by myself at a bar wandered outside to smoke and saw a really cool motorcycle I asked the group of guys standing outside whose bike it was and one of them said mine I hopped on back and said okay s let's go he handed me helmut and away we went great sex but in hindsight it's super rude to sit on other people's motorcycles without asking went to a bar with my buddy we met these girls and brought them back to our place I hooked up with one and my buddy tried with the other he didn't seal the deal and she passed out on the couch he had work the next morning but I didn't so I wake up and talk with couch girl we hit it off so I dropped her friend off at home and took her to her place and we hooked up after about six months I had forgotten about her then she booty called me well for the past six years I have been sleeping with work suppliers in exchange for discounts on our paper supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates I know that not only is there a conflict of interests but also an exchange of goods so I guess it makes it slightly unethical but have you ever had sirloin steak honey it's worth it it has been going on for about once a month for six years something like that I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for the discount paper and maybe it is a girl thing but after we did it and he would give me those coupons I just felt good about myself my HR lady tried to fire me when word got out at an ethics seminar but luckily had the world's best boss to fight for me invited the guy I liked to my house party he barely spoke to me I was bummed and annoyed end of night everyone's gone home he's chatting up our mutual friend on their couch I walk by them grab a handful of his hair and say if you get bored I'll be upstairs went up to my room he knocks on the door five minutes later right as I take my top off I hear her let herself out that's the kind of attention that sticks with you as a kind memory for life well done and I hope you had fun too the last number of your like is who powers you get comment who you got [Music]

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Id: gyPY7BIkcMo

Length: 11min 18sec (678 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 11 2019