What's The Fastest You've Ever Left A Job? (r/AskReddit)

what's the quickest you've nope doubt of a job it was a shop that refurbished train suspension hydraulics 40% of the guys were missing at least part of a finger maintenance guy was missing four on one hand and 1.5 on another if half the guys were high and the guy training me stormed out halfway through the second day I was like eeeh I'm just going to dip out now walked into a group interview as a young [ __ ] the second I heard the word vector marketing I bounced many years ago I worked at a popular sports bar as a line cook first day they had me trained with a guy who didn't speak English for two hours not a huge deal mostly you observe people in a kitchen and perhaps how you learn ona came back and said she was scheduling me to be alone the next day which was Super Bowl Sunday noped out of there so fast left right then and there you're the new guy nope I'm the last guy I worked for a newspaper for most of a week I was expected to use my own laptop and software no IT and I'd have to share logins and passwords with three other people and guess when they would need them one week it was 1985 and a collections agency was looking for an IT guy it was basically desktop support on some IBM pcs it took me a week to realize what a soul deadening place that was and I bolted it was mutual actually they saw how I was reacting to some of the techniques that collectors used the targets were mostly old people who were encouraged to sell family heirlooms and the like to pay off debts I left halfway through the orientation when I found out it was a job selling those expensive vacuum cleaners door-to-door three days after my two-week training I was supposed to be a seasonal Templar for a national propane company the job distribution and training consisted of taking calls off hours for people who wanted refills and acting as a messenger service referring their contact info their local store when they opened the next day easy-peasy when I got out onto the floor I found I was actually expected to be a dispatcher for drivers and also first point of contact for all emergency situations I had never been so much as briefed on in training my first ship I had to field a call from a local police officer who was on site to a horrific propane truck crash I got to wake the guys district manager in the dead of night tell him his worker was dead and the overturned truck was blocking a few lines of the freeway and the police were trying to get a hold of him that was just the start a customer got the smell of garlic and eggs in the house I got the call what do I do next miss dispatcher Frick if I know get out of the house ASAP CO detector is going off I got the call instead of 9-1-1 for some reason I had zero interest in being an underpaid not trained emergency dispatcher it's the only job I took off on without giving a two-week notice I was nice enough to finish out my shift on the third day but that was it I went into an office for an interview they said they had several positions available and I wanted to do some admin stuff well after the interview they told me to get in a van to do the next part of the process turns out we drove an hour away so I could shadow one of their door-to-door salespeople they would ask residents to go into their basement to check their hot water heaters to see if they were eligible to replace them with their company's owner I felt pretty uncomfortable about this and pretty pee my whole day was gone doing this the worst part was the girl I was shadowing spent half the day sitting around in the truck reading magazines and waiting for people to come home from work I was sort of asking questions about the job and she got defensive and said well I decide if you get this job or not to which I replied yeah I don't know if I want to do this but he kept insisting that it was her who decided if I worked don't think she understood I meant that I didn't want to do this crap freaking waste of a day found out that the educational assistants they touted in their advertisement applied only to full-time employees and that they both defined full-time as no fewer than 40 hours and kept anyone who would apply for that assistance from ever being qualified for it none of this was advertised and the people I interviewed with assured me a college student that working 21 hours a week will get me the benefits too bad I read my contract before signing it and called them out don't frickin lie to your employees especially during an interview on something that can be easily and swiftly disproven if you're willing to lie to me about this what else are you willing to lie to me about I did their training before being offered my contract so I counted as having worked there bTW mine had to be when I was 18 and working at Blockbuster I was helping the manager during the before open shift getting new items stopped on the shelves that came in that morning my mom called me and told me that my dad was having a heart attack and she was panicking while waiting for the ambulance why did she call me at work to tell me this the blockbuster I worked at was in a strip mall type area behind my cul-de-sac my house in the blockbuster was separated by a small alley and a three minutes walk I told my manager what was happening and asked if I could leave to help my mom while they waited for the ambulance she said no I just stood there looking at her thinking she couldn't be serious I would be gone for all of 10 minutes and back helping her if needed she stressed how important it was to get the things done that needed to be done and I could only leave if I called around to the other workers and found someone to come in and cover for me while I was gone I took off my nametag slammed it on the counter and walked out I never went back for any reason for any who might wonder my dad came out fine was in the hospital for a few days I was interviewing for a contract position at a very small game development company and they told me they were looking for someone to help finish up an existing project literally the game looked like it was made in Miss paint as if they had just hired some random guy off the street and asked them to make some art for them but granted it's a mobile game and sold for the standard 0.99 so maybe that's not the worst but the game itself doesn't look engaging at all either but I figure worst comes to worst I could make some money on the side with some low effort work then they told me that my pay would be a percentage of the sales nope trite out of that one I was pretty one qualified but between jobs and receiving financial support I get an interview with a small company I'm looking forward to earning some money again the boss interviewer is a dog at one point he asks me if I feel guilty that people like him are supporting me I politely inform him that he'll have to support me a bit longer while I find a suitable job I tell him that the interview is over but thanks for your time I went for a trial [ __ ] with a door-to-door sales company the guy I was partnered up with told me that if he didn't make about the target sales he was coming out with the equivalent of 3 pounds per hour which in the UK is well below minimum wage this was Commissioner Li self-employed role noped all the way home that day worked in a bakery it was my first day so I get there in the morning to meet everyone then they have me grease up baking trays for the others to fill I lift up the first tray in like 10-15 cockroaches just scatter everywhere from under the tray I tell the guy showing me the work that there were cockroaches and he just shrugged this was all in the back store customers were about 10 feet away so I tell the guy that I'm not feeling too well after about an hour of doing that and I head to the bathroom when I came out I told him I couldn't do that job and he told me to get a real job then so I left and go myself a proper job TLDR cockroaches I had an interview at what I thought was a regular steak house in a new town I had just moved to the interview went well it was just before the restaurant open so it was pretty empty at the end a waitress starting her shift walked by nathless chaps and a thong turns out that was their uniform the manager called like 30 minutes later saying I got the job I had to politely decline that one back in college I used to work part-time as a nanny one summer I landed a really sweet sounding 40-hour week Monday Friday nannying job looking after a baby and toddler I was super excited about all the money I was going to make working that menit hours but the weird thing about this job is that the unemployed dad was also going to be at home with me he was supposed to be spending all time looking for a job and I was watching after the kids while the wife was at work literally that first week on day two or three he starts hinting about his marriage problems and how his wife sleeps on the couch but the next day he asks me to try out his fancy new massage chair I reluctantly agreed and he just stared at me while I laid on this vibrating chair and was like oh yeah nice great thanks he then offered to give me an actual massage sometime and maybe I wouldn't mind giving him one too on Friday afternoon I went home told my parents who I was living with for the summer everything and my mom called the guy and told him I wasn't coming back the following Monday or ever he then sent me a text saying he was disappointed in me ugh and his poor wife but the weird thing about this job is that the unemployed dad was also going to be at home with me law immediately saw where this was going two different ones first was a scheme going door to door soliciting donations for the environment you had to get five donations or something to get paid I worked one four hours training shift then left second was door to door dollar item sales after an hour I realized it was MLM and told them no but since I was in their van I had to stay the whole eight hours it was my first day working for a family business that had just bought the equipment necessary to install underground fiber-optic lines they had previously been Realtors but had read an article in an entrepreneur's magazine that said $1 million gross was common they pulled their 14 and 17 years old out of school to act as laparis and a mom and dad were going to run separate cruise I was their first employee hire as I was setting up my bore path the mom told me we didn't need to expose an electrical line we would just drill a few feet underneath it and we didn't need to expose it I told her that was ridiculous reckless and dangerous the husband then came over and wanted to fight me for insulting his wife and not 30 seconds into his tirade the 14 and 17 year old drill directly into a large electrical line which pops the transformer and sounds like a explosion but as I was walking away the father went from wanting to fight me to chasing his seventeen years old around a retention pond the mom was begging me not to leave nope this feels illegal where the kids are concerned graphic design from home job nailed the interview had absolute confidence I could provide this dude what he was asking for got the job and the first thing he said was to take a rather large check that would be mailed to me and buy my equipment it was supposed to be from a special vendor that was to engrave the laptop and provide software it was a scam I looked up his business on Google rather than through the link he sent me I found the exact same crappy website with dozens of different CEOs told him to not send me a check in that I was not longer entrusted the check was going to be fake and the money I would be sending to the vendor would end up being my own once the bank found out you could have have reported him for mail fraud to the USPS this quarter you guys have really achieved a lot for the company and surpassed our expectations just a reminder we will be having to lay some more people off soon peace out I'll find something else before you make me leave I was unemployed for a couple months and started applying for pretty much any job I could do this one was a basic small biz IT support contractor the employee the interviewer introduced to me mouthed run when he turned his back happened to me at an oxygen bar at Universal Studios cold calling people about injury claims have you been injured in the past three years that kind of thing the thing that really irked me was that all of the people I called in those twenty minutes were polite said they're not interested and they were just sitting down for dinner I realized it was a horrible job and I was in no way cut out for it I left after 20 minutes and just walked out the door without a word I've had one tell me I was in a car accident in the last two years all I could say was dang no one told me I went to my orientation at a boot factory their government contracted and so pay minimum wage so I figured I'd work there awhile and look for something better after we do the usual paperwork signing and such we're taken as a group onto the factory floor for a tour it's hot it's crowded it stinks and everyone working looks annoyed by our presence okay I guess not everyone loves their job right no biggie I'm sure this won't be so bad then our guide informs us in no uncertain terms that our co-workers quite often give new people bad information to get them in trouble or make them mess up they'd even be the ones to rat you out then we're told that our Foreman is the type to yell for no reason ask people if their drunken have accused a treeway for no reason and is generally a giant butthole I took a few moments to think after these last revelations said nap and walked out of the building without a word to anyone fool you work that crap captain I'm not putting up with all of that for eight bucks and some change in our freak that if they're admitting unprofessionalism at the orientation that's not a red light as much as it's a car crash waiting to happen Dodger semi there I work as a nanny but when I first got into child care I was just babysitting so it was my first night babysitting for this one family things went well changed some diapers put the baby to sleep and that was about it parents come home and are very drunk they asked me to stay for a little while after they got back which was weird then they offered me a 16 year old at a time a drink feeling a little pressured I took it and just sipped on it then the mom got really close to me and says I probably shouldn't be driving home after having a drink once again feeling a little pressured I was thinking about act petting so I asked if I'd just be sleeping on the couch I'll never forgot her next words to me she says oh no honey you'll be going to bed with us I note out of there so fast I think I ran to my car that he was kind of just a panicked blur left my purse there and everything second day at route 21 and the managers plus other co-workers all went out to lunch together and left me alone in the store I wasn't able to ring up people yet and the store was packed I just walked out when I was 16 I had an interview at a local pizza place in a not-so-good part of town I was hired and as I was walking out two guys came in and robbed the place the manager gave them the money in the register and they ran out I looked at him and he said you get used to it I never went back I like to imagine it was the same two guys who robbed it on a weekly basis and the first time was a joke but the manager just gave them all the money without complaint and they've been doing it ever since it became a friendly tradition of sorts he still hasn't figured out their identities that they play racquetball with him on Tuesdays ski masks and all I had a job in a salad plant those bags of salad mix a lot of restaurants use I was there for two weeks coring lettuce in front of a conveyor belt eight hours a day pick up a head slam it pull the core put it down next you talk to your co-workers or you plot the downfall of Western civilization one rarely sweet lady had been there for ten years ten years on the lettuce line she got called into the office and was gone for about half an hour she said I won't be here tomorrow I got promoted I asked what she'd be doing cabbage I didn't quit I wished her well dropped my crap and walked out I feel bad about not quitting but I was the young end well ten years that was 28 years ago had I stayed I might be up to carats by now I sometimes wonder how my life might be different had I stayed and in those moments I celebrate every decision I've ever made you see they got me coring this lettuce right now in ten years I'm on to cabbage another 10 years carrots that's when the big bucks start rolling in worked at major greeting card store in order to make a few extra bucks already worked at major retailer Mart and major grocery store on the first day I sat through several videos each of them encouraged me to follow customers throughout the store and suggest they purchase laser-cut cards which were apparently all the rage at the time when I came back to the floor for my training the manager encouraged me to adopt a hand signal to show the cashier so I could discreetly show them that was responsible for the sale of that particular card then before I left the manager asked to frisk me as a part of major greeting card company's policy to reduce employee based shrinkage when I said I didn't think that was entirely appropriate they said a pat-down or a search of Percy's book bags was a condition of employment it's so I walked out the door go to stop those black market greeting card sales any way they can was told to work inside an industrial metal shredder that didn't have a safety lockout tech to the Frick nope was hired as an intern manager for a local nonprofit recycling plant this meant I would hire and train interns for this amazing work opportunity turns out for them interns meant working for free doing basically everything for the organization event and marketing wise while also cleaning the bathroom and taking out trash for the whole place every week that's actually super illegal for being way too close for slave labor I was on contracts for minimum six months but I managed to get out August after - I ain't risking my career for their shady business practices wanted something part-time when I was at uni applied for at the local cinema chain and got an interview it was one of those high turnover places that meant if you got an interview three hours a 95 percent chance you got a job guy on the box office radioed to his manager and was told to take me to room 7 we got to room 7 and wait and wait and wait about 25 minutes passed before two managers start screaming abuse over the radio because we were not in room two so off to room two we go on the other side of the building 15 screen cinema the manager starts trying to turn on the charm and I basically say if that's how you treat your employees in front a job candidate there is no way I am ever working for you and ask the other guide to show me out I'm sure it made no difference to his behavior but it saved me a lot of potential abuse I worked in Claire's for one day at the end of the shift she asked me to put a bucket load of tiny earring packages back on the walls a few hours later I finish and apparently misplaced a few of them so she threw all of them to the floor and said to do it again nope it was listed as a marketing position the guy doing the interview started showing me and the other candidates how sharp Cutco knives are turns out it was a pyramid scheme guy kept asking if I wanted to sign on to buy some knives to sell the other candidate went to the bathroom and never returned I felt really awkward also needed to wait to be picked up so I stayed for the whole thing JCPenney I came to work to set up shelves and things store technician but my boss handed me a mop and said someone lady pooped in an aisle when she didn't get away by handed the mop back said I'm not hazmat certified but here's and looped out you have been visited by the safety dog ow subscribe and you will be safe from all danger for the next 24 hours if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 171,287

Rating: 4.9049506 out of 5

Keywords: work stories, work, quit job, nope job, quitter, quiting job, fastest job quit, job stories, worst jobs, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: 3YUk0cnpCfs

Length: 20min 49sec (1249 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 11 2020