What's The Craziest Thing You've Seen On A One Night Stand?

what's the most bizarre thing you've encountered on a one-night stand not me but a girl I now embarrassingly confided in me that during her only one-night stand the guy had gotten up in the middle of the night while she was asleep to rearrange her pots and pans in her cabinets and for some reason he put her panties in her freezer which he didn't find until days later dedicated prankster in college I had to run to a meeting with a professor in the morning and left her one nightstand in my room when I came back she had cleaned my entire room folded all my clothes and left me little notes all over the place not overly bizarre but not something that I would expect from someone you've known for eight hours that's frickin adorable I hit it off with this girl after a night of heavy drinking and we head back to her place she lived in a nice full-service apartment building with a doorman and fully employed staff that operates around-the-clock we hook up and then pass out I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and end up walking out the wrong door I finally come to my senses and I realize I'm in the building hallway butt-naked worst of all in my drunken sleepy stupor I forgot which apartment I came from not wanting to wake up any of the neighbors I very quietly knock on a few doors to see if she comes out I was stuck out there for about 45 minutes before one of the maintenance guys comes up and says to me what the heck are you doing I explained my situation and he just walks away in disgust without saying another word luckily he came back with a trench coat and had me walked down to the front desk where I spoke with the doorman he of course asked me where I came from and what was this woman's name which I forgot so there I am in a public lobby wearing nothing but a trench coat while the guy is reading off tenants names in that section to see if any ringabel finally he hits a name that sounds familiar so he calls her for a good 20 minutes before she answers and confirms that I was indeed with her I walls back up to the apartment grab my clothes and shuffle on out of there before things got any more awkward which I'm sure was impossible at that point TLDR hooked up with girl walked naked out of her apartment accidentally much public shame followed khamel I explained my situation and he just walks away and discussed without saying another word how unbroke of him I knew a guy once who went home with a girl and she wanted to play him the cassette recording of the eulogy from her father's funeral the year before how do you say no to that so while he sat there uncomfortably listening to this not knowing how to react or where to look she unzips his pants and goes down on him her dad's eulogy playing in the background doesn't matter sad freaking for me it was undoubtedly the time when the girl is staring into my eyes while I'm on top of her and tells me that she loves me several times with passion I had just met her that night I didn't really know what to do so I just kind of kept going and avoided eye contact best possible reply to that scenario well that's super I was bartending being a goth themed bar in 2005 we normally had pretty much no traffic other than the regulars so new people always kind of piqued my interest in walks a gorgeous punk girl I'm 22 at the time so caution didn't exist for me this girl and I caught one another's glances all night at closing time she bodily pulled me across the bar and started making out with me so of course I went home with her I didn't have a cellphone at the time and I left my own car at the bar huge mistake for two days I was trapped in her apartment handcuffed to the bed - supervised bathroom breaks the frickin sessions were amazing and kinky it was awesome the first day I was sore and worried by the end of the second she also made me watch the movie made two times so day three she has to go to work I figured by this point she's going to kill me when she comes home I break the crappy welds on the headboard to free myself only to find my clothes have disappeared I had to wear her clothes so in girl jeans that I was unable to button a v-neck bright orange shirt and flip-flops that are entirely too small for me with handcuffs dangling from both wrists I exit the apartment and with as much dignity as I can muster I walk down the street to the gas station and have them call me a cab worst best freak misadventure ever TLDR kidnapped during college ended up going home with a girl who I can describe as well athletic since rugby is a sport the last time I checked things were going well until I was marinating my nether rod and she screams puncture me in the face yup she literally wanted me to beat the crap out of her insta soft I managed an awkward response somewhere along the lines of well about time to hit the old dusty trail and made a hasty exit as a rugby player I can tell you this is not unusual got there and her flatmates who'd already been out with her began talking to me when she wasn't around told me she was too drunk to do enter hang with me then proceeded to tell me about her recent suicide attempt they asked me to get a taxi home I didn't want to stay but I had no money so I began sleeping on the floor of her room she came back after about an hour of arguing with her flatmate sat up and talked to me about stuff tried it on with me anyway I was shocked and totally disinterested after all this hassle and just said I'm going to sleep which he felt was perfectly acceptable and let me sleep she ran out of her room about 10 minutes later after her phone went off and comes back half an hour after that with blood on her shirt she sat on her and sweet talking loudly on a mobile to a friend talking about how the flatmate she'd been arguing with was slitting her wrists in the room next to us biggest WTF moments in my life to date TL DR housemate argues with odds before deed tells me about on the latest suicide attempt ends up slitting her own wrists after arguing with ons you should have tried to a threesome after that all went down friend of mine had a one-night stand crazy drug and alcohol fuel Prelude at a party gets the girl back to his place they drink and do more coke the girl was taking pills also but my buddy wasn't sure what kind they end freaking multiple times at night friend recalls last round off frickin was slightly all his doing wakes up the next day she's dead my friend is convinced she may have been dead the last time he flicked her and we have a winner an odd aroma than the tip of my wiener found a forgotten tampon up near the cervix I'm getting dressed for work after morning frickin and she proceeds to tell me she'd be a good stripper because she can completely control and open her butthole with no hands she hops out from under the covers but butt-naked turns around on all fours and proceeds to show me her butthole opening skills she was awesome fourth of July circa 2005 a large group of friends and I are casually hanging out at the local parking lot in my tiny Taurus driven town I'm a 15 year old virgin pretty tipsy from imbibing on Peachtree for the majority of the day - very cute girls obviously not from the area walk near our group but keep their distance most of the guys in the group notice but because of young cowardice don't approach them my dear friend Erik and I decide we are the chosen ones we saunter over and strike up conversation and they eventually agree to accompany us to his parents house so we can fill two liter bottles up with beer from the keg they always had stocked in the basement we fill the bottles go for along those cruise and end up at the beach the girl that seems receptive to me asks if I'd like to go for a walk on the beach my answer is obviously yes we're poly out of eyesight when we start feverishly making out and it eventually progresses to her pushing me down in the sand and blowing me blowing me good I'm elated laying in the cool sand on a beautiful summer night having my first real adult experience with a pretty girl gal tov seemingly nowhere I hear a sound a sound I'm familiar with before I react much she lifts her head mere inches above my dong and vomits all over it I'm talking direction daang is covered in puke now I see how embarrassed she is and I'm not that mad and want to continue this magical time so I do my best to tell her it's not a big deal I take my boxes off and wipe my dong off as well as I could the lovely lass without skipping a beat just starts sucking away again I finish and she swallows I never saw her again she was the one that got away TL DR got puke on my dong full rife so there was this time where I was with this girl and things were going great at a bar and we ended up going back to her place for some fun times we were about 20 seconds into it where she just stops and yells at me for coming inside of her she pushes me off and runs to the bathroom yelling and screaming bloody murder at me I tried to convince her I had not came inside her since you know I think I would know if I had she would not believe me and kicked me out of her house at 4:00 in the morning she calls me six hours later asking for me to come over to pick up $50 so I could go by Plan B for her being the nice guy I am even though I was P as Frick went and bought her sim Plan B I went back to her house and she was in bed and I threw the pill on how bad and started walking out she then asked me to lay down and cuddle with her I looked at her and said Frick No then I left without ever talking to her again I had a friend who took a not so hot girl back after a night out he woke up and she was ranked like awful so did what any other sane person would do tailed her he had soccer practice and was late akyuu him putting his entire soccer strip on and her getting up the university wasn't far to walk where his pretend practice was so she said she walked with him as she lived near it they walk to university together him and his soccer kit and her in heels and a dress looking a freaking state and then she holds his hand they walk through the main university area holding hands the best image I've ever had in my head eventually he can't take it anymore and says he needs to go to the bathroom so she says she'll wait outside the Union Building he goes in the front door all the way through out a fire exit then runs home oh and he gets home to find that she pee in the bananas bedroom in the night coma oh and he gets home to find that GP in the bin in his bedroom in the night that's my favorite part two years back I had a creepy encounter with someone I spoke to online I traded a couple messages back and forth with this seemingly nice man mediocre looks very kind D dnt tlk like diz I'll call him Joe he offered to pick me up and take me somewhere for a first date I agreed to it God why did I say yes when I woke up the next morning at around 10 o'clock my mother rushed to me and asked if I knew someone who drove a white buck apparently there had been a man parked outside of my house for the last two hours I peeked out of a window and watched the car as I gave Jill a call the man in the car held a cell phone to his ear hello hey it's summer are you outside my house perm yeah I thought we could start the day early I assumed he was just a really really shy guy I'm the kind of person who always keeps an open mind unfortunately I got in the car he began to drive I tried to break the ice as best as I could but he seemed so nervous and innocent skeeted and speak about where we were headed I figured it was a romantic surprise for a first date we parked at a hotel unco what are we doing here oh I'm staying here for the night and need to grab my wallet from the dresser come on in if you like I figured it was safe since hotels are pretty public places yes I understand that I was a [ __ ] we went inside the room i sat in a chair he just stood there didn't say anything didn't do anything didn't even look for his wallet are you worried or something at this point I was at a loss for words I didn't want to give the guy a horrible time what can I do to make you more comfortable help you be less nervous Joe shifted toward me sat on the bed and burst into tears through his sobs he explained everything how last night he drove nine hours to my house he was from GA I am from in I had no idea how he bought all this booze and was going to finally lose his v card to me how he saved tens of photos from my facebook and edited them on photos to his liking then he began to poetically recite to me how divinely beautiful I was I sort of just froze there he got up and ran out the door I looked out the hotel window and watched as his boot with his Georgia license plate faded in the distance TL DR a thirty year old man drove nine hours from Georgia to see an 18 year old girl he planned to boost her up and lose his virginity to her but instead cried like a baby within the first 10 minutes of the date and immediately drove the nine hours back home I did not know he was 30 I hear you like meeting up with creepy guys who talked to you online there's a girl at my uni who was known as Bible basher she's ridiculously fit 10 stroked 10 and could get any guy she wanted so she does she brings them back to her flat then proceeds to get out her Bible full of annotations and post take notes and preach the guide to sleep dong in touched 10 stroke 10 master troll went home with some guy I met in a club started sucking him off he looks down at me as I had his tongue in my mouth sighs and a creepy singsong voice ooh you look like a bob III I guess there is a pretty big difference between oh that feels great goodbye I are and do you look like a bob III I would be mad if she came back with a butter dish and turkey baster with no turkey this is close to the time I was hitting on a chick everyone thought was lesbian all night I brought her home and she wanted to invite a friend jackpot right number her friend was her dad and he had toys I am going to go throw up now so I can forget this you know the game the whole family can play not sure if this will be seen by many but I'd like to share a pretty crappy experience I'd gone out with a few friends promptly got wasted and by some small miracle ended up going back to this fairly attractive girl's place morning after she decides to soothe my hangover with a bj good before proceeding she says you told me last night you don't really do one-night stands prove it what's my name I completely froze I buy some time by laughing and through sheer luck I notice a picture frame with a meal I written on in bold colorful letters yeah that was her sister's name she died the previous summer and I did not get that blowy a man even I say a lot of crap when I'm drunk would have been a better answer : inserted thumb into the bad place on a whim left very early in the morning cold-weather location on Lake Ontario nose running wiped nose with back of hand one way with brown thumb the other way yes i dirty sanchez myself a girl with 12 fingers it wasn't that she had 12 fingers it's where she wanted to put those 12 fingers brought a girl back from the bar and commenced steamy time she requested that we moved to the bathroom for round two three while the shower was warming up she requested that we freak on the toilet sure mid freak the toilet shatters water and toilet everywhere thankfully neither office got her cut and we finished up in the shower TL DR brought girl back from the bar and blanked on the toilet toilet chatted she did offer to pay for the toilet but I'm a gentleman and didn't let her a friend of mine he did a one-night stand and while she was in the bathroom prepping up he felt the urge to crap in his drunken haze he saw her dog standing in the corner and he decided he could blame it on the dog crap ensued and she came back she saw the crap and asked WTF he blamed it on the dog she replied she didn't have a dog she did have a porcelain figure of a dog TL DR friend took a crap and blamed it on a porcelain dog apparently not many other people feel the same way but this is one of the funniest posts I've ever seen I had part of my thumb bitten off from not remembering her name the next morning I met it a girl at a bus stop we eventually decided to go over to my place because that's what made sense I had never met this girl before today I keep my place extremely clean and with a minimalist mindset that means no decoration or anything personal anywhere there is literally what I need and nothing else everything looks pretty new and modern so it's not creepy anyway she gets to my place and she comments this looks like the place from that American Psycho guy it kind of domes and I say how can you Frick women without killing them first when I was 18 I went to a Halloween party with my friend at his uni halls we ended up in town where we meet another group of young people one of which was a very nice girl I forget her name but she said she was 19 she didn't seem it though for 17 which I was fine with as the legal age is 16 over here in the UK . he ended up coming back to the halls with us all of us getting quite drunk bla bla bla skipped to the end we ended up in a spare dorm room that someone had the key to I've volunteered to sleep on the floor she invited me into the bed we started making out and getting hot and heavy soon my dong was out and I started slipping it in she took control of the situation directing it I was in for four seconds she took me out put me back in again took me in pulled me out I don't know maybe it was uncomfortable or something this went on for ten minutes until she shook me off apologized rolled over and went to bed to this day I don't know what the problem was I was as face so just Kayode I asked a couple of girls once if they knew what the reason was they suggested I had been used as a corncob TL DR I was once used as a corncob once sporting devil horns a pencil down goatee and a purple cape it's possible she thought that was how frickin works realized you weren't coming anytime soon didn't know what she was doing wrong felt embarrassed and pretended to go to sleep I got peed on once intentionally it went okay I met this awesome girl we freaked twice then fell asleep a few hours later she climbed on top of me so I thought okay here we go again number instead she pees all over me and falls back asleep : she was marking her territory you belong to her now we got married that's what you get for partaking in a night of escalating dares in college I had a picture of Tom Brady on my wall brought home a girl fricked etc wake up in the morning she flips out your Patriots fan she stormed out apparently she was a Steelers fan and did not like the Patriots easy way out nicely played Steelers fan after a one-night stand with an older woman my friend woke up to her sitting on the bed playing the guitar and singing him a song that's pretty rad honestly a friend of mine a single male was picked up at a bar by a young woman who was looking for a good time she took him back to her house where they did stuff and afterwards she just passed out so my friend gets up and his getting ready to leave when he notices that there are gifts laying around her living room since this was not around the holidays he thought it was odd so he looked at some of them they were wedding gifts this girl had just gotten married fearing for his life at this point he hightails it out of there but manages to get her name off of a piece of mail before he leaves the best part is what he learned after he looked her up on FB the next day she was a marriage counselor plot twist the gifts weren't actually for her marriage when she helps a couple get their marriage back together she holds a small ceremony and party for the couple it's kind of a more intimate renewing of their vows it's become her tradition and something that she is well known for to show their thanks the couple sends her what would normally be on a wedding gift registry I hooked up with a bartender one night right after I came and she felt my splurge hit her back she said in a very proper British accent my what a lovely tea party a girl who was 22 but looked and acted 15 she said she had been pregnant twice and half her co-workers were trying to sleep with her because she had slept with the other half she says she absolutely does not want to sleep with a guy on the first date I was living in the city at the time and we walked around a bit decided to get somewhere warmer and walk to her place sunlight messing around and she starts whispering flick me I got out a condom which he pushed away but when I insisted she completely lost her interest and said that she hates using condoms did not hit I have to tell my friends story it's too good so in college he meets this chick at a bar he's a good-looking guy and gets a lot of women so when he tells me this chick is really hot I believe him they make out in the bar and eventually go home together on the walk home she tells him that she has two casts and talks about how much she loves them but she refers to her cats as her daughters which freaks my friend out a bit but not enough to dissuade him but so they get to her apartment and it's filled with cat stuff pictures porcelain casts cat dolls the works this crazy chick is obsessed with cats but my friend is frisky so whatever he's still gonna do her and just excuse himself after but they proceeded to have great frickin session the chicks cats are in the room watching which is unnerving but whatever right as he's about to finish he pulls out the cat leaps over towards him and he jizz is on it accidentally all over it girl freaks out obviously and pushes him off he grabs his clothes and runs out of there bust naked while she grabs the cat and throws it into the bathtub still screaming TLDR guy comes on pee sholde nerd on bat preface art school students meet a girl at a party hit it off back to her place good freakin e.t.c e.t.c wake up the next morning and she left a note saying she had a great time but had to be somewhere left her number fast-forward to about three months later I'm walking down the street with some friends when lo and behold a large like 7x10 featuring painting is displayed in a window me sleeping in her bed yep that's actually kind of Awesome when I was younger I went to a local bar and ended up going home with a much older woman after about an hour of messing around we started freaking and during frickin she stopped me to reposition a framed picture of man on her shelf the man looked kind of young and was dressed in a military uniform anyways the whole time I'm humping her she's just staring at this picture and literally started crying I thought I was hurting her so I stopped and asked if she was okay she said yes and told me to keep going the whole time we're freaking she's crying and looking at the picture the next morning she's in the shower and I get my stuff to leave her sister who lived there too came in and started chatting with me she asked if we had freaked and how was it I said great but she couldn't stop looking at a picture of some guy in a military uniform her sister told me that that guy in the picture was her dead son apparently he had just gotten killed in the line of duty talk about bizarre why the Frick would she want to look at her own son while be flicked by some dude grosses me out even thinking about it that's pretty sad actually some say that alcohol brings out the real you drunk me looking to hook up see this attractive girl beer goggles on sit try to engage in small talk she is really into me and we get really smashed then she says she has to pee I will be right back I just have to reinsert my urinary catheter as my vajayjay is starting to itch ya know last time it itched I got a freaking UT and it smelled for days beer goggles off my eyes the goggles do nothing not sure you could fully consider it a one-night stand since things ended a bit early but who goes once I met this guy at a bar we hit it off pretty much immediately and next thing I knew we were back at my place and things were getting pretty hot and heavy my mother always told me that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach so I came up with this ingenious plan to secretly make a late night snack for us I got up making some idiotic excuse like I have to go to the bathroom or something and started preparing the snack I had a Cornish hen thawing in the fridge anyhow so I figured that at work got it in the oven thought I'd get everything ready and head back to this guy and the whole apartment would smell great in about 20 minutes and things would be awesome I walked back to quietly check on him still holding some of the kitchen implements and I think he saw me that sucker screamed like a schoolgirl and ran out of the apartment midnight snack for one in my opinion if a chick started making Cornish game hen in the middle of a hookup that would be weird the Rito's would be fine happened to a friend of mine she was with her friends one day and they were all talking about this guy who was their sugar daddy rich guy who buys you nice things in exchange for freaking relationship et Cie that they all had been sort of passing around they turned to my friend and tell her that she should try sleeping with him because of the benefits she was hesitant but decided to go with it when she finally meets up with this guy they go on a dinner date to McDonald's after that they are driving to a movie and he turns and says to her do you mind if I stop by my house I have to pick something up and she says sure they get to the house and he invites her in and says he'll be back in a bit but the house had many rooms but was almost entirely empty except for a TV and a bed in the middle of the living room and the windows had bars over them at Sur my friend is waiting around and five minutes go by then ten minutes then 20 now she is beginning to get worried she begins calling for the guy and looking around the house on top of getting no response she finds that every single door is locks including the front now she is getting really worried another 45 minutes rebel by an all of the sudden a large black woman wearing a housecoat and slippers comes in and begins yelling at my friend about how she is gonna beat the crap out of her for freaking her man as my friend desperately tries to explain sugar daddy walks in and begins to try and calm the woman down after some consoling he proceeds to take the large woman into the next room and flick her brains out again my friend begins searching for a way out she ends up finding a door that had been left open and sugar daddy's keys so she runs out takes his car drives to her house parks the car about three blocks away and walks home upon hearing about this her friends were in complete disbelief TL DR friend goes out with potential sugar daddy ends up trapped in a locked room threatened by his girlfriend listening to them freaking and stealing his car if I hooked up with a girl I met at a bar when attempting to exit her apartment after the deed was done she stopped me and asked me to stay to bake cookies with her I said I had to go she broke down into tears telling me how nothing and her life goes right gradually she started breathing heavily whilst rambling about her problems until she was in a full-blown panic attack I ended up staying to bake some Toll House cookie bars it wasn't great TL DR I stayed to bake cookies my buddy and I went out to a local nightclub the second we entered I told him we were going to pick up I got hammered in minutes not too long after realizing that I had no idea what I was doing my buddy and I were approached by two attractive girls we took them back to my place I remember getting head and promptly passing out next morning my buddy wakes me up and tells me he got some last night like me he got wasted and also go head slept with a girl I didn't get either of their names seriously I had no idea what I was doing that night but when I logged on Facebook I had a friend request waiting from someone who looked eerily like Smeagol from lotr - there was a note in the request sorry you were completely passed out and I wanted to be able to find you on face so I checked your wallet TL DR I got hammered picked up a chick found out I got head from Smeagol she went through my wallet the next morning come on man that is precious she wants me to scratch her while we're doing it start scratching her back number scratch any she grabs my hand and digs my hand into her I'm like all right B likes to get scratched up so I'm scratching her freaking her brains out she's pretty petite might I add choke em er okay so I put my hand on her throat number harder she pushes my hand into her throat the bed is banging up against the wall her face is getting red I'm choking the crap out of this petite girl felt weird but I kind of got off on it I still feel weird about it but she was enjoying it find out later in my life I really like having my current so choke and tie me up and vice-versa TL DR find out annasidou masochist was out and about got drunk beyond belief and hooked up with a girl good-looking funny the works we get home to her place and starts to get it on if I couldn't perform being drunk as heck but he really wants to Frick so she tries her best to transform my limp tongue into something worthwhile but to no avail so then she gets all sulky and abandon her efforts and turns to the other side to sleep so I do the same in the middle of the night I wake up and she's finger banging herself with my hand TL DR my hand got debauched I don't know why you didn't just offer to help her rub one out in the first place myself and two friends picked up two older ladies in a bar one night when we got back to their place they called a male friend on the phone to come over dude was clearly gay after about 30 minutes of playing truth or dare and not being dead once I think he figured out all three of us were straight the argument about which one of us they thought was gay went on for weeks met a girl from plantar fish met her at the local martini bar talked for a bit and she was nice but not too sharp so I knew I wasn't going to be interested in another date she must have picked up this vibe or something as she was a little handsy at the bar she invites me back to her place to watch a movie so I figure I'd do my business and bail claiming and business trip or something get to her place she hits the bathroom and comes back lays on the couch with her legs across me and I noticed she's removed her panties from under her dress I suppose she could have been commando all night she sits up and we make out I decide to finger her a bit if she has provided the access after a few seconds with two she says more so in goes the third finger again she says or so I up into four she's going notes never seen a girl so wet so I start rubbing her [ __ ] with my free hand she says more again so I do this awkward Duck heads thing to get the thumb in there and she reaches down grabs my wrist pushes it in and says more almost angry that I'm not elbow-deep already so I start slow but she's literally humping my fist and before long I'm churning butter she came at least three times my first time with a squirter - freakin was mostly tame I was a little weirded out and it was as loose as you'd imagine if I hadn't had a super thin condom I don't know if I would have been able to finish that's why I put it in her butthole and tell her to cough when you want to finish if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 202,453

Rating: 4.8679752 out of 5

Keywords: one night stand, dating, dating stories, worst date, worst date ever, dating gone wrong, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: NoyJD7MMYbA

Length: 33min 59sec (2039 seconds)

Published: Mon May 11 2020