What's The Best Revenge You've Ever Gotten?

what is the best revenge you've ever gotten my brother had just turned 16 got his license got a car from my parents and trashed his bicycle because he didn't need it anymore i was 13 and my bike was what got me around my brother is an [ __ ] that gets grounded a lot grounded from the car too he would then just help himself to my bike after many warnings i took matters into my own hands i loosened the handle bars on my bike seeing the handlebars pop off the bike and a meeting street was a glorious day in my revenge book when i was in seventh grade there was a boy who started spreading rumors that i blew him my revenge may have been a bit too cruel but i mean that was a big deal in middle school i told his mother i even tied up a little bit for effect when i told her the story she went home beat the shitty out of him and i got a phone call apology fck you evan back in college i lived in the fraternity house and shared a bathroom with several other guys i noticed my bottle of cologne went dry much faster than it normally did i started to take my toiletries back to my room since then before i did though i pissed in the empty bottle throughout the semester i'd take note of the fill line and how it got lower and lower i finally told my sweet mates they'd been spraying themselves with my piss after i moved out tldr my old rumored smell like pee also your cologne is indistinguishable from pierce [ __ ] manager put me exclusively on night shift when he knew i had a very pregnant wife at home and gave me a poor review despite an inch thick stack of printed emails from customers saying i was awesome fast forward 10 years and my wife works in hr hears a familiar voice next door in a job interview after the interview my wife pokes her head in and asks was that man's name xxxxxx dot it was my old manager let's have a chat about him he says to the interviewer he didn't get the job when she told me i was happy for a month mainly because he'd never know it was my wife that completely f cut him over i worked in it at this company the it department has its own budget and one particular line item is for chairs my chair had just broken so i looked around for one that wouldn't kill my back like the last one did it was a 400 chair and the budget was already allotted for it i told the finance guy whom took caring of ordering from vendors the chair i wanted and sent him a link he said he would order it right away two weeks pass and my new chair comes but it's the exact same model as my last tty chair needless to say i was unhappy a couple of months go by and the finance guy wants his computer upgraded not only does he want an upgrade but he wants a laptop as well so he can take it home i then denied his upgrade for two years and when he did finally get a new computer it was a hand-me-down from another department tl doctor don't fck with an i.t guy's chair order i am a car enthusiast and work on my jeep quite often one [ __ ] in my high school continually f ked with my car so one day i took four jack stands and a floor jack to school and during a study hall i put his car on blocks and hid the wheels and tires all over campus the best part was i never got in any trouble my old neighbor is a dumb crusty [ __ ] that will fly off the handle of any chance he can get one night he lost it because i parked in front of his house for an hour we exchanged choice words a couple times he threatened to kill me knowing full well that he's a small business owner i went home and signed his personal and business email up for thousands of mailing lists the process was fairly slow at first until i found the fda mailing list site that will let you sign up to 2000 plus mailing lists i added his business address to computer security lists retail lists prn lists you name it i was furious when i started the whole process but after two hours of this i had worked myself into a calm trans-like state does the punishment fit the crime i don't know but if you are going to be a dumb [ __ ] you deserve to have unfavorable things happen to you tricks on you do you even know how many local singles he's probably met up with in high school i had an issue with someone stealing my gum out of my backpack i ended up painting the top piece in each row with the fingernail polish used to stop nail biting hilarious i f king hit my toe of the corner of a desk iaf king burned that desk revenge is sweet edit thanks for the reddit gold never got gold before i had the most evil teacher in second grade she hated the me more than anything so one day i raised my hand and for about 30 minutes she didn't call on me but i was persistent my hand got so tired but reluctantly she called on me i already knew what i was gonna say i was stretching she looked at me for two seconds then started to shake in anger you could see god damn veins on her temple she put me on red that day my brother was a massive [ __ ] to me growing up we moved to a new town and i made friends while he fell into drugs he tried to keep doing the dickish older brother thing finally one night at dinner when he was laughing at me because of something nerdy i said i just replied i don't give a rfck what you think of me i have friends the snide look on his face just dropped i know it sounds like a small thing but it was a turning point in our relationship and was extremely satisfying my ex-wife left me for another guy this guy was average looking but made good money six years later she has five kids got fat is broken calls me bitching about how much she can't stand him or her new life best thing about this revenge i didn't have to do a thing i used to live with a buddy who was dating this chick we didn't get along with and by we i mean all our dude friends she was insecure super prissy and clingy all at the same time the final straw was when she started inviting herself to guys night and then complaining that all we did was drink beer and play video games so fast forward to them getting engaged she practically lived at the house now and it was high time i got a different abode so as my parting shot i gifted my buddy four years of playboy i think it cost me a grand total of 24 worth every penny my buddy gets to see tits and she gets volcanically mad every time it arrives and since the bill comes to me all i have to do is renew it sweet sweet justice i had a friend that would constantly play really irritating pranks on everyone in our group of friends one day a few of us had had enough of his bullsht and posted a really ridiculous ad in the m4m section on craigslist with all of his contact information for three or four days straight he got nothing but dudes sending him dick pictures and he couldn't figure out why when i was around 18 this girl i worked with teased me on a daily basis about how skinny i was and how goofy i was she was constantly making fun of my silly jokes and the way i related to others i mean this tea was non-stop one night i had a work party and invited her over we ended up making out on the couch we had sx we ended up getting married and we've been together for around 17 years as for the revenge dude i put three babies in her belly they tore her junk up on the way out literally tore her junk i watched it happen call me skinny again i f king dare you anyone wanting to read more stories of revenge should head over to our prayer revenge and arpeggio revenge two of my favorite subs so i have one acquaintance who likes to make fun of me in public a complete [ __ ] he probably just gets a kick out of it one day he is drunk and dizzy at the party and i tell him that i have a cask of amontillado in my basement we go down i chain him to a wall and start entombing him alive before placing the last stone i drop a burning torch through the gap 50 years ago and still have not been caught when i was in first grade there was a girl in my class that was always mean to me don't rightly remember how one day she got snotty with me on the playground need her right in the chest five-year-old me was a woman beater apparently x cheated on me i cleaned myself up got a great job and went on to live a happy life seriously best revenge ever my gf and i are in a very fun relationship and we always like to joke around and prank each other one time when we were passing by a toddler section on a department store she told me she was pregnant she thought i wasn't ready yet and would freak out turned out she was wrong i was pretty ecstatic about it and she was surprised she started crying real hard and i thought there was something wrong things started coming into my brain like i'm not the father of the child and such turned out she was crying because she was so happy that i was ready to commit to her into a family but the other reason was that she pranking me cause she thought i would freak and when she saw my reaction she couldn't believe it she felt really bad about what she did and guilt was really eating her up she was extra nice to me and pampered me that week i think that's a pretty great revenge i'm engaged to her now colin enjoy the hot pumping a baby into usx when you get there okay so i have this friend who is a bit of a legend so basically he was out with a few friends at the pub one night and he noticed that his pint of guinness went missing when he went to the toilet he just assumed someone took it mistakenly and ordered another one friend goes to bathroom again and comes back and what do you know his pint is missing again done done done so he says to the guys he'll be back in a few comes back acting really distracted scanning the room all the time so his friends are like what are you up to oh you'll see after a few minutes he starts bursting out laughing at this guy across the room who starts puking all over the place while simultaneously throwing a pint of guinness to the floor you guessed it my friend bought another guinness went to the bathroom took us tea in it and then left it on the bar for the drinks thief to enjoy i had a girlfriend back when i was younger that i found out cheated on me after we had been dating for almost two years i had worked with her brother and been to her parents house several times while we were dating and i became close to them once i found out that she had been cheating and didn't have any intentions of stopping i mailed that's right mailed pictures of her naked and blowing me to her parents and brother she came to my apartment severely pissed off and started screaming at me at the top of her lungs i snatched her purse out of her hands and threw it out the window onto the middle of a busy street she did not come back upstairs to continue her rant whoa your thermonuclear warfared that [ __ ] and her bridge i've talked about this before in another context but it's the best revenge story i have i used to get paid to write essays for people i wrote all of this girl's applications essays eight schools but she made all sorts of excuses and ended up only paying a fraction of what she owed me this girl come from a rich family and spends about ten dollars zero zero zero slash month on her shopping she could afford to pay me but she decided to be cheap and not bother paying me even though my asses helped her get into a much better school than she expected i got my revenge though the school was why i beyond her academic capabilities so she ended up flunking most of her classes and getting kicked out ha i found out she was cheating on me so i [ __ ] in her face cream and then fake proposed and threw the ring in a lake just spend 30 minutes looking through this thread greatest thing my girlfriend cheated on me when i was 22. my best friend took all of her cosmetics out of my bathroom threw them into an empty garbage can and lit it all on fire when she showed up to pick up her stuff he just pointed at the smoking container then she left probably several hundred dollars worth of stuff she was super pissed after a year of dating a sweet guy we decided to break and he had a new guy move in two weeks later it was a mutual breakup though kind of was weird as i still lived in the house i did hope he would be single for a while before getting a new bf but whatever then i eventually found out that they were hooking up before we actually called it quits my revenge was that after learning of my ex's infidelity i messed with the new bf while my ex worked long hours my ex thinks he is loyal and are still together little does he know that when they slept together at night sometimes my load was in his new bf and essentially my ex was getting my sloppy seconds oh made a kid eat his parents in the form of chili oh and his favorite band laughed at him in first grade a kid kept making fun of me every day at recess despite me telling him to stop one day i was in the sandbox and he mocked me i'd had enough i grabbed a handful of sand and shoved it down his pants he didn't call me names after that come on then he died that summoned a wiggins tea right there kid in school who was a royal pain in the ass and i hated left after grade seven i heard he was planning to come to the same summer camp that a bunch of us were going to after grade 8. so i called him up pretending to be another kid in our class told him i had a cold and gave him the wrong dates for camp he spent two weeks at camp by himself follow up no he just took my word for the dates and the guy was a bully so don't feel sorry for him i heard a couple of years later he was out to beat me up but i have never run into him should also point out this was over 30 years ago now and the guy i pretended to be and i continue to be close friends being happy without my ex this one sales guy at our company was a dick he was a typical scummy salesman nice to your face but a slime behind your back well i'd taken his abuse for too long as the i.t guy and one late night i did something about it i took his phone handset he worked in the office and put it in my swamp ass and rubbed it all around my butthole i picked the pubies off of it and put it back on the receiver every time he'd talk to me i'd ask him to speak up and he never knew he was talking into my ass juice [Music] [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show With Reddit

Views: 36,743

Rating: 4.8859749 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, best of reddit, reddit story, reddit cringe, reddit funny, top posts, reddit best, r/, reddit top posts, askreddit top posts, reddit top post, best reddit stories, reddit posts, top reddit stories, funny reddit stories, funny stories, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts

Id: A0FEXcw2ZIo

Length: 16min 56sec (1016 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 03 2020