What's The Worst Advice You've Ever Received?

what is the test advice you've ever gotten in seventh grade i was prescribed a dare all and my doctor encouraged me to experiment with the dosage i learned from my experimenting that 60 milligrams of aderol will keep me awake for about 40 hours straight in the military in iraq the sweat is irritating and to fix that my friend says you just stopped drinking water i was dumbfounded just have a baby i had to miss some high school orchestra rehearsals because i had gotten a job performing for a musical my conductor said taking gigs is not a good way to start your career in music yeah try again bub i was buying apples honey crisp and a lady said if you like those you should try empires empires are soft tasteless grainy excuses for apples dad there's no future in those bloody computers son 35 years ago not me but my old co-worker was talking to a client and she was complaining that a 12-year-old girl sent her thirteen-year-old son nudes old co-workers suggested she send them to her phone then to her parents i suggested that perhaps distributing child pornography was in fact not a good idea sell your cable tv stock in 1978 treat em mean keep em keen a current girlfriend of nine years and the girl i was pursuing when my friend gave me the above advice has said that if i had started being an arrogant dick towards her she would have just stopped bothering to see me what you mean people don't enjoy spending time with rude hurtful selfish people shocking my mom said if someone wanted to fight me at school i should just let them kick my ass because they would get in trouble and i wouldn't even the assistant principal thought this was a terrible idea edit this was in 1996 to 1997 so a little before zero tolerance but still a stupid idea completely the opposite if you get in a fight at school at least nowadays you're already getting in trouble you should bear up because fighting back or not you're both in trouble emster but before oral to last longer thanks mate i was on a time crunch and had to finish myself wow reddit gold hope my mom doesn't see this thank you no need for a lock get an axe and strap it to your bike nobody wants to mess with someone who has an axe so nobody will try to steal your bike i swear i didn't make this up the guy who said it seemed more than a little drunk though but if the axe is on your bike you don't have an axe and if you're lucky enough to catch the person stealing your bike they now also have your axe yeah no son being with a woman is a lot like eating at a fancy restaurant if you order the lasagna you should eat the lasagna that's the entree you picked and you owe it to the lasagna to clean your plate but as long as you're going to clean your plate it's okay to try a bite of other foods here and there that's not neglecting your lasagna it's just making sure that lasagna is really as good as you think it is and if you like a different dish more it's better to find out now before you're full this said while encouraging me to cheat on my girlfriend while we were on a family vacation that i better catch me a man because i was getting old semicolon i was 19 and at the wedding of a 20 and 21 year old there wasn't even alcohol because majority of the guests were underage i'm no longer friends with those people for many reasons not the ones that got married they moved and we lost touch but the ones telling me to catch a man still live in the same city and we don't speak if i married the guy i was dating at 19 stroke 20 i would be a very bitter angry person some people find the person they were meant to be with at a young age i didn't and i'm glad i didn't succumb to the pressure just because everyone else around me thought that they had i met my husband when i was 25 and everything's been going good i made the right decision even 25 is young these days 30 years the new 25 edit thanks for all the love there's a lot of us post 30 that are looking and just settling now it's not even an issue these days close bracket second edit that's it going streak and through the quads why are you sad my sister's advice to me if you're ever our ped just try to relax and enjoy it until it's over i've never been in that situation thankfully but i really would hate to think that other people have actually taken that advice i came here for this one from an older brother's friend i was 12 and told my dad the kid didn't do anything to me but made me feel very uncomfortable i open up to my parents that i might have been molested when i was six years old they told me it's not that big of a deal and that it happened to every girl so i should get over it sadly i didn't get over and went to find advice elsewhere people won't judge you if you tell the truth why was told i should practice drinking and driving so i could figure out exactly how much i can drink and still be able to drive safely i was told to rent an apartment i could barely afford when i started my first job in los angeles let me stress that this is a terrible idea only rent what you know you can afford for as long as you're bound to the lease it can ruin you to live in a major city without a job and leased into something you can't support semicolon also if i rented higher i couldn't have afforded furniture or any nights out with friends spent conservatively blood is thicker than water family is forever narcissistic bull family is the people who are there for you they don't need to be blood and you don't need to keep people in your life who give nothing back to the relationship i was a teen dad supporting a stay-at-home wife and kid and was going to engineering school at the same time i kept getting advice from adults that i should quit school pick a safe job and work my way up why work a part-time near minimum wage job or internship when i could quit and work full-time as landscaper or utility worker and make three dollars for an hour more that was 20 years ago today i probably make three or four times what a landscaping or utility career would have yielded and i am in a career that i love it's taken me all over the world and opened some amazing opportunities broke my arm in the fourth grade the teacher's advice was to get a drink of water as the only form of medical attention until i finally convinced them to call my parents it didn't fix my broken arm our relationships told me to dump my girlfriend when she tested positive for hodgkin's lymphoma right after i met her three years ago now we're engaged and she's been cancer free for two years como our relationships told me found the problem when i was diagnosed with aggressive cancer chemo is poison don't let those doctors kill you they just want to make a profit if you fast and drink lemon water your body will heal itself literally the worst advice i would be dead right now you should work in sales worked in sales for two years it was easily the worst two years of my life trust me you should not work in sales i was getting a hard time in school from other kids the advice i received was just ignore them anyone who's being bullied will tell you that simply ignoring it is not possible because bullies don't allow you to ignore them have a baby together you will have a family and learn to love each other great now we hate each other and have a kid i went to the dentist once because my wisdom tooth was growing in sideways and cutting my gum and it was swelling up and really painful the entire time he's looking at my teeth he's trying to convince me to get braces for one crooked tooth i have in the front and i keep asking him what to do about my swollen gum and he told me to just brush your teeth harder also just think more positive you don't need to move away and go to college just stay here with me and i can get you a job down at the shop coming from my dad who is a mechanic and lives in a small town with a population of sub 4 000 who has been making just above minimum wage all his life to get a degree to go into newspaper journalism because it's what i wanted to do and i was good at it a career field started imploding within a year of my graduation and then the recession decimated it i made twenty eight dollars zero zero zero or less for the first ten years i'm still paying off my college debts nothing compares to getting death threats from both sides of the same political articles while making two roommates level salary driving 20-year-old cars and eating beans and rice borrow as much as you need for college don't worry about how you'll pay it back just have fun really really stupid i went to a private college that cost over 100k i owed 46k in student loans when i graduated a 600 a month minimum payment on an entry-level salary really limits your options post-school during an anxiety attack just don't think about it oh okay phew i can't believe i didn't think of that in my junior year of college my advisor advised that i drop out and focus on raising my baby that was on the way i told one of my teachers what he said and he said what no that's stupid i'm your advisor now graduated on time raised son it all worked out you shouldn't pursue a career in accounting because there isn't a need for them you'll be better off in an engineering field because i want only the best for my daughter her dad told me that we broke up edit sorry didn't realize this would take off we didn't break up because of the dad's advice it was completely unrelated thanks for the support sometimes having a kid is the best way to become an adult friend of a friend who got knocked up at 20 dropped out of college and is going nowhere in life with kid number two on the way but does she have a successful essential oils squad full of other entrepreneur boss babes she's a prime candidate for that crowd just be yourself no if you are terrible if you are obnoxious really if you're any human who doesn't consider the need for inhibition then you turn out to be an [ __ ] do these drugs it will level out your drunkness till a lot of you folks use have used cocaine thanks for the inbox full of crazy stories enjoyed reading them my therapist said i should continue my binge drinking on the weekends if it helps me sleep also recommended zed's quill as a remedy on tonight's that i have trouble sleeping turns out the drinking was eyeing up my sleep schedule i've been sober for over a month and i'm sleeping better than ever i went to my doctor for a sort of checkup after having been prescribed antidepressants the doctor i saw the second time told me to smile more and that way i wouldn't need to come to the doctor for something so trivial thanks wad when i was 19 this elder man co-worker asked me i'm a guy if i had any kids and i said no he then asked at what age did i think i would want to have kids and i said i don't know maybe late 20s early 30s he said no way that i should get married and have kids now because if i have them late i would be too old when they grow up to be around their 20s i walked away thinking that encouraging a 19 year old kid with a crappy job and crap pay to have kids is horrible advice you're wasting money snorting heroin you should inject it instead edit holy gold thank you to whomever help is available to anyone needing help with addiction issues ask for help as hard as it might seem life gets better that i can promise that might be on you m8 edit when i was broken halfway through college my mom said hey i guess you have to drop out and give up that's life honey thank god i didn't listen to her tired vice and pushed through i now have my degree and i'm financially stable you'll understand when you're older if you stay with her you'll never forgive yourself when you're older for not having the experience with other women i was 18 at the time with a two-year relationship it's been 10 years with her and everyone who gave me that advice is either divorced bitter or running around trying to tie down anyone then can good things come to those who wait the worst advice you could ever give someone it should be good things come to those who are patient waiting and being patient are not the same thing high school guidance counselor pick a new career you'll never make it in medicine dart currently a physician at a very respected hospital in the u.s before i got married my parents felt compelled to impart all sorts of unsolicited advice as though we were children embarking on our first step into adulthood i was 35 my husband was 32 we'd been living together for six years and we'd had about four disagreements in that time so we were reasonably confident in our choices my parents brilliant advice was that we needed to decide now who is in charge in our relationship because otherwise we'll spend all our time fighting they said both of their parents had that problem so they just decided to do things right and make sure my father was in charge so they never fought the amount of selective memory and out and outball contained within those statements still boggles my mind did it gold just for bitching about my parents thank you but really the amount of support from all of you is really touching thank you very much when i was really young about eight or nine i was stung by a bee i'd been stung before with no problems so we didn't think anything of it a little while after i'd gotten over the pain and had stopped crying i told my mom i don't feel well she told me to go and make a poop turns out i was suddenly severely allergic to bee stings and i was going into anaphylactic shock let me tell ya the right person will like you for who you are bull i was a wild animal in my twenties i met my wife at thirty she helped me overcome some things and i credit the success i achieved by my mid-40s to her my point is that advice is saying you don't need to change bull we all have we can improve wise words from you and hollerica if there's ever a problem just walk out on the balcony here walk out and put that double barrel shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house you can jump that far if you believe in yourself my mom told me i should marry someone who loves me more than i love them so i'd always have the power in the relationship didn't listen feel anything take another pill don't listen to the warnings of your family and friends they're just jealous and want to break us up drop everything and come live with me this is what love is the opening title to the worst year of my life [Music] not me but my friend's mom consistently gives her really terrible advice a dad is the high school football coach and when went to that high school a rumor circulated that she'd slept with the whole football team she had never even kissed anyone yet at the time this devastated her because the whole school called her horrible names and made fun of her her mom told her she needed to lose her vaginity to a specific kid on the hockey team whose mother she was friends with she was positive this would work because the hockey team and the football team had a really intense rivalry and nobody would believe that someone would just switch sides like that thus dispelling the original rumor she went so far as to give my friend advice on how to get in bed with this kid and how she could help arrange it so that her dad wasn't home while they were doing it my mom and i had to gently convince my friend that this was nuts and most moms don't give advice like that don't marry him he only wants to marry you to become a citizen he doesn't really love you my husband is from kenya and my mother did everything she could to stop me from marrying him luckily i did not take her advice it's four years later and i'm happily married to the love of my life my mom still isn't a fan of him but she has her own issues my other family members love him so everything worked out great you know you really shouldn't vaccinate your kid no man my daughter is cool she can live you'll find someone don't worry about it no men can't afford to not worry about it romance doesn't just happen for us and 99 of cases it's something we are expected to go out and hunt down like we're hunter gatherers trying to bring down a freaking wildebeest there's planning and effort involved if you want to have even a hope of it women get to have romance just happen i never will or at least i cannot rely on it at all and it took me like 15-20 wasted years to learn that don't be a passenger in your love life guys went to the school counselor in high school bullying and asked for advice on my abusive relationship i kid you not the only thing she said was then leave like it's that easy and sent me out of her office still kinda bitter at how quickly she brushed me off if the edible doesn't hit you within 20 minutes take another one happy wife happy life it should be happy spouse happy house both count [Music] if you pray enough god will make your fallopian tube grow back a friend told me this two days after i got home from the hospital where i had to have my right filipino tube removed after it burst when i had an atopic pregnancy i was already horribly depressed after losing a much wanted pregnancy and being told that i was possibly infertile due to all the scar tissue and then she decided to start spouting off crazy like that she also said if i had gone to church more the baby would have been fine i was so shocked i could hardly speak but luckily my husband had no such problem he kicked her out and when she tried to refuse he tossed her purse out the front door and locked it behind her when she went to get it i haven't heard from her since thank god don't try to work for that guy he's a troublemaker in the industry i instruct her when i told him i wanted to intern for a guy i eventually have worked with for 13 years sometimes you want to work with someone who is a little bombastic because they have passion for their industry obligatory not me but on an episode of true life i'm an alcoholic one girl said she was opening up credit card and her friend asked why the response i maxed out another one and need a new card to pay it off so where do we even begin with that statement my dad if you want a man you have to show some skin no one ever caught a fish without using good bait also my dad if women get our pet because they dress like s they had it coming thanks dad when i was around 12 we had my grandparents come to stay for christmas one morning i was up before everyone else and my grandad comes down the stairs holding his back and you could tell he had some aches and pains in his bones he's coming down the stairs pretty slowly once he reaches the bottom i say morning granddad and he looks at me and says don't get old die young he then goes to walk away but stops and says choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life or you'll end up hating what you used to love as i was struggling with depression and feeling suicidal just choose to be happy this was years ago happy wife happy life if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy just the whole sacrifice your happiness for her if you want to be happy yourself it fulfills you apostrophe bull you are the most important person in your life nothing happens without you your happiness is paramount be happy and let others bask in your happiness from a doctor at planned parenthood you don't need a test for herpes everyone has herpes i heard that too from my ob gyn you don't even test for it unless someone has open sores eighty percent of the tests are positive but a positive result doesn't mean you'll ever have an outbreak my dad's attempted girl advice when i was younger and didn't have any confidence talking to girls just go up to them and say hi the worst she can do is slap you and scream appae he was not a good father sleep when the baby sleeps sure great i'll cook when she cooks and clean when she cleans and shower when she showers worst advice ever don't go to bed mad at each other sometimes you need a little space and some sleep to regain the brain power needed to resolve the conflict with the so just don't let feelings fester into [Music] resentment you

Channel: The Daily Show With Reddit

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Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, best of reddit, reddit story, reddit cringe, reddit funny, top posts, reddit best, r/, reddit top posts, askreddit top posts, reddit top post, best reddit stories, reddit posts, top reddit stories, funny reddit stories, funny stories, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit, daily show, the daily show with reddit, the daily show

Id: dZADnfgwRyg

Length: 24min 15sec (1455 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 30 2020