What's A Simple, Everyday Approach To F*ck With People? (AskReddit)

what's a simple everyday approached a slightly mess with people without them picking up on it for almost three months I would drive by my best friend's house after every day except trash day he always put the bin in the same corner next to his garage so throughout the week leading up to trash day I moved the bin slightly closer to the house I had a system he'd always move it back to the corner but every day I'd move it about a month in he started mentioning the moving beam in conversation I think someone's [ __ ] with my trash now stop being paranoid in the last week that I did this the build-up was showing he would go home to check more often even going as far as to install a bunch of motion sensor lights and now being his best friend I had knowledge of where he kept a spare key to his house so finally the day before trash day I put the bin in his house he went insane we are talking cameras outside even shopped for security systems I never told him sorry Dan after the weekend say something like her my god the craziest thing happened to me this weekend start the story make it exciting then start act like you have something else to do and never finish the story I have been telling this new guy a story since Monday and he seems visible upset that I have not finished change their computer language to English US or English UK depending on where they're from the spell checks will drive them insane occasionally I will take the USB for my wireless mouse and plug it into people's computers when they aren't looking and mess with them that way one time a friend was playing hitman and every time he would line up a shot I would move my mouse just a little bit so his shot would miss his reactions were priceless every day on my walk to the subway I'll pass a particular crosswalk with the same female crossing guard every day like clockwork I'll walk across the street looking to the sidewalk in front of me and not her and the second I pass her I jerk my head around and say good morning jolts her completely probably thinks am autistic locate your friends toilet roll stash every time you visit them remove one of their toilet rolls and replace with a slightly better quality one once they've made the switch to buying better toilet paper and they will switch their entire stash for the inferior rolls you previously stole from them also find their main keyring and add extra keys to it I hated my [ __ ] ell job and just wanted to make everyone as miserable as I was so I downloaded a high-pitched frequency app that plays a super high-pitched noise like dog whistle high pitch I sat at my desk and did it about three times a day in short five 10 second bursts for almost six months we had four people in our area and the boss man's office entrance was close to my desk I would play the sound and then pretend that I didn't hear anything when everyone would start freaking out my boss hired like a turd guys over the course of six months and probably spent $1,000 trying to find the phantom noise thinking it was a fax machine slash copier or some homes computer speakers our big boss even came down on him asking why he had spent a bunch of money on it workers I got my lulz and found a better job wonder if he ever put it together it was me say something at a slightly lower volume that is just nonsense but sounds like a real word I say so Roo the ball then laugh or just smile like you don't really expect a response there like the laugh with you or when they say huh you say you know what I mean have you ever seen one of those and laughed harder they will usually agree with you and laugh awkwardly my ex boss used to go crazy if the debt phone rang more than three times without someone picking it up even though our space was huge and we couldn't always reach the phone before the third ring if we were even in the depth when it rang oh and his office was right beside the desk where the main phone was and he could answer it from his own phone too but he wouldn't so one day I'd had enough of that and programmed the main phone line to forward to his direct line I left it like that for a week he raged every day why are all these people calling me for this junk it was a good week late to the party that I have a relevant story so my grandma is a total neat freak we often say that when she passes she will be found next to a Dustbuster I was sitting on a recliner that was near a small rug on the floor it was a holiday or birthday so naturally grandma is zooming around the house doing stuff I decide to kick a corner of the rug up and see if she notices well she comes into the living room sees a rug askew and flattens the corner and straightens it this happens two more times I'll flip a corner up and she will be passing and flip the corner down and straighten it out finally I decide to roll the rug up and put it in the coat closet grandma goes back and forth through the room at least five times before she stops and goes something in here is different at that point myself and all the family members that had watched the entire thing take place start cracking up I got up and grabbed the rug from the closet and grandma puts it all together and starts cracking up with us one of my favorite memories of a family gathering might sound like I'm just an [ __ ] but she loved little innocent stuff like that my time to shine in a big open area just quickly look upwards and look incredulous as to what you see and notice as more and more people around you look up to see what's going on works greater Disneyland pick out a guy and a girl named David and Sarah work great and when you see someone in a large crowd look confused and tentatively ask David if their name is David they'll be so confused but if they aren't David they won't get mad either because they understand mistaking someone from your past if someone is wearing a shirt with wording on it and you're walking towards them whisper the words on their shirt right as they're passing you always leads to a great deal of confusion if someone goes on a long tangent or tells a long story wait a couple seconds and ask what do you mean you people pretend to not know what potatoes are decide on a victim watch their rise as you interact with whenever they look at your left eye or to something on your left speak just a little bit more loudly whenever they look at your eye tie or to something on your right speak just a little bit more softly whenever they user a buffering phrase something like um or you know Bob your head slightly time your breathing so that you're exhaling while they're inhaling finally and most importantly if they ever pause for more than two seconds kick them in the shins in hand then the random amount of money refused to acknowledge any of the above if challenged when you're chatting with someone and they make a joke or something say this to them I don't care what anyone says about you you're funny or I don't care what anyone says about you you're all right in my book it totally [ __ ] with people because it usually takes a couple of seconds to sink in that people have apparently spoken bad about them to you I always get a laugh out of using it I once rode a ferry during some hockey thing going on and the cafeteria was loaded with annoying [ __ ] screaming at the TV so I downloaded a remote app for my phone check that I had the right programming selected and right when it looked like someone was about to score I turned it off and man would they scream and several guys lunched at the remote lying on the table and actually struggled to be the one turning on the TV again one time it got so bad security had to step in and tell them to calm the [ __ ] down or they would have police waiting for them at the port think that's the only time I've enjoyed watching sports on TV the keeper raid the situation you and some friends or family are returning to your home you being the key holder approach the door to unlock it your friends or family are ideally engaged in conversation and are generally ignorant of your activities the trick go through the motion of flipping through your keys preparing to unlock the door realize that you have the wrong key and flip to a new one then realize that you actually had the right key the first time and back keep doing bouncing between potential successful lock candidates until someone explicitly tells you to unlock the damn door if they say are you going to unlock the door you say yeah I had the wrong key or something dismissive my record is about 15 minutes of people standing outside my apartment until someone eventually concludes that I have no intention of unlocking the door in for success do not painstakingly flip through every key it's obvious and people notice also helps to actually try a wrong key in the door assuming that you know it will fit they're not long the situation you're in a life that'd conversation with someone if you do this in a serious conversation you're an [ __ ] the trick somewhere in the middle ideally while your partner is expounding upon a point cease verbally replying and begin simply nodding along see how long they will talk for before they notice that you aren't contributing to the conversation the longer they take to notice start disengaging even nonverbal cues and just stare at them blankly it's ease into a state of non reply some verbal responses such as yes of course that gradually become a humming mm-hmm should preface merely nodding this trick is actually somewhat dangerous as some people will never notice that you aren't responding and you may find yourself mired in an unwanted conversation the handoff the situation you're in a public place and aren't carrying some garbage in hand that isn't obviously garbage for example an empty soft drink from McDonald's the trick hand the empty container to a friend and ask them to hold it for you for just a seconds fish around in both of your pockets as if you're looking for something don't find it search more pockets check your phone and looks lusted never retrieve the item from their hand hints engage the victim in conversation at the same time it's a good distraction the warrior the situation you're bored the trick text a friend a conversation opener like hey are you there don't send another message hint don't do this to your mother I work in a cubicle setting and change the sensitivity of each computers mouse to varying degrees listening to cow Walker's yell start or come on at inanimate objects is a real treat as a woman when you walk by an unknown couple casually say hi to the man and keep walking allow everyone to enter the elevator before you as a gesture of kindness then when you enter the elevator stand facing the back wall it's amazing how uncomfortable people get in such a short time if I'm talking to someone and we are both standing I'll take a tiny step forward to get in their personal space they'll eventually step back then I'll do it some more if I'm careful and the conversation lasts long enough I can steer them across the room if you have kids and you are visiting a friend's house take them with you when you arrive get your child to point to an empty place in the room and then say daddy / mommy why is that little boy crying I heard this on a website once this guy got his cow Walker's to put spoon spoon spoon spoon spoon spoon spoons at the bottom of another cow Walker's every NAO but in white font basically you had to highlight it to read it they kept stealing his spoons during lunch and he would keep getting spoon ads from dnas brilliant when I meet a person who is an arrogant know-it-all I bring up some [ __ ] facts about the topic they are discussing and they tell me how they know all about it kind of like Jimmy Kimmel's you witness news when I was a kid I used to pretend that I had a bad leg and I would say laughed and my mom in whatever store we happen to be in and loudly call to her mom please wait for me you know I can't walk that fast I work at a grocery store from time to time I'll ask customers do you have any coupons today if asked to repeat the question I'll switch the word back to coupons just to mess with em I'll also subtly substitute she'd card for chip card and as they leave I tell them to have a great day there was a radical in salts randomly in a cow Walker's posted pads and how the cow walker was slowly driven mad until he cracked at the office mimicking people's body language but you have to know you are doing it actively subtly touching your nose and and ears and watching people do the same subconsciously is way more fun than it should be when I'm driving by myself I'll pull some ridiculous face where I try to look both confused and despondent that way just in case anyone sees me they'll think geez what's up with that guy

Channel: ToadFilms

Views: 1,040,286

Rating: 4.9429951 out of 5

Keywords: simple everyday approach, how to mess with people, mess with people, people, with people, simple, everyday approach, approach, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms, pewdiepie

Id: YkR416NX0uo

Length: 13min 28sec (808 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 21 2019