What the Hell Happened This Week? - Week of 5/3/21 | The Daily Show

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] president biden took a break from looking for a white house cat for his dog major to rip apart and went down to georgia where he and the first lady met up with their oldest and most adorable predecessors we want to show you this photo from the carter center this was the visit of president biden uh and dr jill biden with jimmy and rosalynn carter in georgia last week the former president is 96 the first lady 93 and brianna they're gonna celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary in july that's amazing 75 years it's great to see this photo [Music] okay guys i mean don't get me wrong i'm really happy to see these people all together and smiling and everything it's just what the is going on in this photo like why do the bidens look five times bigger than the carters is there some dollhouse filter that i didn't know about because i've been staring at this thing the whole day and i still can't figure out what's going on i can't figure out if the biden's had a late growth spurt or if they're playing with jimmy carter action figures or maybe both at the same time like like what were the photographers instructions here all right guys we're gonna do a normal one and then we're gonna do a goofy one and then we're gonna do one where it looks like you're from two separate dimensions yeah we good honestly this is the weirdest picture of a president since well any picture of donald trump but i'm not hating please don't get me wrong i think it is great to see presidents of different generations coming together to make me think that i'm on shrooms [Music] [Applause] what is one of the biggest concerns people have about modern technology privacy right because our phones know everything about us what music we listen to how much sleep we get what our face looks like when we're pooping but now apple is going to give you a little more control over how widely that information is shared you know how it goes you search for something online then see an ad on facebook or instagram for that exact item well apple is making it harder for apps to track your online activity when you're using apps on your iphone you may start to see this apple users must now give permission for apps to track your online activity data before you could only opt out it's about time jenny gephardt is with the privacy non-profit the electronic frontier foundation switching from opt-out to opt-in is huge that is what's going to really make a lot more users opt out of this tracking feature that wasn't built for users it was built for advertisers that's right people with the new ios updates you have to opt in to being tracked online instead of having to opt out and i know it might seem like a small change but this is a huge deal because people are lazy as like think about it if apple said that they were going to put all your nudes online unless you opted out you'd probably be like what no ways wha where's that opt out option ah settings general uh well you know what i'm proud of my third nipple let's just do this i don't care anymore i got things to do and people don't understand how much information facebook is actually getting from your other apps like you think it's a small thing you know how you always like to your friends oh i was talking about something and then it popped up is my phone listening to me no it's the apps like if you're in atlanta and you check the weather in vermont it won't wait for you to search for a winter coat before it starts showing you ads for one and if you've been ordering pizza every night on grubhub well then the ads will show you a coat that's two sizes up because it knows so this new privacy feature is good news for iphone users but it turns out it's very bad news for one of apple's biggest rivals facebook in fact it's so bad for them that they've started throwing up pop-ups begging everyone to let them keep tracking us and warning us that if we don't facebook might stop being free of charge and i'm not gonna lie to people that seems like an empty threat to me because who would pay to be on facebook with the type of people willing to pay to be on facebook i mean like that's like if a crack house had a cover charge i actually wouldn't mind if facebook started charging people because i think if they did maybe people would actually think for a second before they posted the government puts fluoride in the water to brainwash us post two dollars i'll keep it to myself now the reason facebook needs to track its users is so that it can charge big bucks to advertisers who want to target very specific audiences but mark zuckerberg knows that people don't care if he can't afford to give his hovercraft and lamborghini for its birthday so instead he's asking you to think about the poor companies that'll suffer if he can't track you facebook said apple's move will harm their small business advertisers it's going to kill us it's going to kill us but for monique wilson debriano who was featured in a facebook campaign and owns charleston gourmet burger the change has already affected sales and she's had to cut costs it's not about you know small businesses you know wanting to take away anyone's privacy all we want to do is really to service our customers better so if someone loves hamburgers and they're looking for something that is just awesome you know to make your hamburgers taste better i would like to show my ad to you and this update takes that away from small businesses like mine okay now this is interesting i mean i don't like getting tracked but it is true that it does help some small businesses target their ads you know and the truth is in life bad things can't have good side effects you know it's like how serial killers are bad we all agree that they're bad but you do get a lot of really interesting podcasts out of them yeah no so i can't see what facebook is trying to argue here they're saying do you really want to hurt small businesses before amazon has a chance to bankrupt them and honestly i wouldn't mind targeted ads that much but the thing is it's how it is how facebook tracks all of us that i don't like like it would be one thing if facebook asked me hey trevor do you like hamburgers ah we're gonna show you stuff about food but what facebook actually does is basically just send some guy named gary to just stalk my entire life hey trevor i heard you like hamburgers what how did you know that he i read an email you sent to your girlfriend so maybe you're still not swayed by the effect of this change on small businesses and that's why facebook is also warning of the bleak future that awaits all of us if they can't track our every movement anymore facebook's pushing back it relies on that data to target consumers with relevant ads so if people do opt out here's what facebook says could happen say a young man is looking for a new pair of sneakers on his phone facebook claims that with apple's new rules it won't be able to use his search history and information about what other apps he uses to show him ads for things he wants to buy so on facebook or instagram he could end up seeing ads for women's clothing or furniture really this is a real argument come on man get the out of here guys we've lived our entire lives watching untargeted ads right tv ads newspaper ads billboards none of those were targeted and we were fine all right now all of a sudden they're making it seem like we can't live without them like we're gonna be like oh no oh no i'll have to watch untargeted ads but how will i know if a product isn't for me what if i buy tampons because i didn't know that i don't have a period what if i buy dog food but i don't have a dog am i a dog and my dog won tampon i don't know we can handle untargeted ads in fact sometimes untargeted ads introduce you to things that you never knew you needed yeah like a shower seat i didn't think about that before i came to america and then now that i'm here i realize just because i'm not 80 doesn't mean i can't get clean and comfortable and you know on top of all that facebook makes it seem they make it seem like all they use that data for is to sell us the products that we want but don't forget that the reason you often only see posts that make you mad as hell is because of all the time facebook is tracking you and they use that targeting to piss you off it's not a coincidence that facebook is always telling you that joe biden is going to make the bible spanish only or that trump stole all the mailboxes to give to kim jong-un it's because they know how to keep you engaged for as long as possible and they know this by tracking you and again i'm not pro apple here right but apple didn't build their entire business model on stalking you facebook did and if moving society away from tracking people means that gary has to find a new job then you know what so be it but then trev who will recommend creams for your toenail fungus get the out of here gary [Music] donald j trump former united states president and the reason america will be paying for decades of therapy it has been five months since trump was indefinitely suspended from facebook for the minor infraction of trying to overthrow the government i mean who hasn't done that but today brought some new clarity on where you will and won't be seeing trump online going forward decision day this morning in a facebook face-off with the company's independent oversight board upholding the decision to keep former president donald trump off the platform at least for now but the board a kind of supreme court for facebook says it's not appropriate for the company to just make the ban indefinite giving facebook six months to review its decision donald trump already moving on from the traditional social media sites ahead of the decision he's launched his own new blog called from the desk of donald j trump the blog posts are formatted like tweets and include options for people to post the content on other social media sites people can sign up for alerts so they know when the former president writes something hold up this dude has been saying for months that he's gonna create a whole new social media platform to rival twitter and facebook and he just ended up making a blog and not just that he's called the blog from the desk of donald trump when we know for a fact that he doesn't spend any time there i mean you might as well call it from the juice bar of donald trump but i get it you know trump had to do something to distract from the fact that he lost his appeal to get back on facebook or as he put it we won this appeal in a landslide everyone knows it's so many victories and look i get why facebook extended trump suspension but you have to admit it does seem pretty unfair to ban him from a website that began as a way to rate women's looks oh and just as a side note it's crazy that facebook even has a supreme court to make these decisions what's even crazier is mitch mcconnell has already appointed four of its justices if you've got a court well i'm thrilling it [Music] according to the internet winston churchill once said history will be kind to me i know this because i intend to write it now i'm not sure that he should have been so confident about how history would work because it turns out that he never actually said that but he did say something very similar to it which makes it more accurate than most quotes on the internet you know and to be honest i guess there's just something very powerful about having a person having some italicized text next to their face but the point about history being written by the winners is true i mean just look at the american revolution america won that war so history teaches it as a fight for freedom against the tyranny of england but best believe if england had won the war well history would be about how they put down a riot by a bunch of cheating thugs these domestic terrorists threw our tea into boston harbor while dressed as native americans which aside from being criminal is very problematic and if history is taught by the winners nobody in america is winning more than white people which is why so much of what's in schools has been from their point of view history is not taught adequately what we learned essentially is a whitewashed history studies have found less than 10 percent of class time is devoted to black history only 8 percent of seniors can identify slavery as a central cause of the civil war there is no national standard for what history is taught each state sets standards which outlines what students are expected to learn seven states do not directly mention slavery and eight do not mention the civil rights movement only two states mentioned white supremacy the kids learned that slavery was bad but we ended it some stuff happened but martin luther king and rosa parks kind of fixed that and now look barack obama we had a black president racism is over we're done yeah it's pretty crazy that most students in america are only taught about a handful of important black americans because can you imagine if it were the other way around welcome everybody to white history 101 we start off with thomas jefferson where it all began and then well nothing really happened until tom hanks class dismissed but yeah basically america treats history the way most people treat their browser history just delete all the embarrassing stuff and hope no one notices but the good news is that as society changes they re-examine their pasts and ask themselves should we keep telling ourselves what we wish happened or should we understand what actually happened and that's what's happening in american schools right now students are asking their school administrators to incorporate anti-racist education into their curriculum they aim to have books written by a person of color and their life struggles a required part of the curriculum in north carolina a committee of social studies educators proposed that the term systemic racism should be included in the state's curriculum standard california state board of education has created the nation's first statewide model for ethnic studies curriculum at the high school level education officials say that kids do need to learn about discrimination and oppression that textbooks often overlook a lot of times in school you don't see a big representation of black history i see comments all the time saying i learned more on tick tock than i do for my own school yeah that's how much education is lacking in america kids are going to tick-tock to learn which is insane social media isn't supposed to be a school it's supposed to be where you post stuff that gets you suspended from school and i'm not saying you can't learn about history on tik tok please don't get me wrong i'm just saying you got to be careful not to mix up history with everything else happening on tick tock wait so harriet tubman started the underground railroad and the weight loss dance pretty dope now look re-examining your history is not easy to do especially if it requires some self-criticism you know in many ways writing history is like a breakup each person wants to tell the story about how they were the one who was right and the other person was an you know it feels better to say she wasn't nice to my family as opposed to she found out about my secret second wife and in the same way as american schools are starting to change what they teach about america's history with racism it's causing a strong reaction from people who aren't comfortable with what their kids are learning there's growing backlash tonight against what critics call the indoctrination of public school students in an anti-white curriculum it has to do with the teaching of what is called critical race theory critical race theory teaches people and our children to judge one another not based on the content of their character but solely on the color of their skin it would have our children growing up hating this country and hating one another it teaches more or less that america is inherently racist stating more or less that that if you're born white you are necessarily racist essentially every white person should apologize for being white and what happened 200 plus years ago we are tired of the continual drum beat of our educational system has used the program for kids to program our kids into thinking that america is a country of hate and division just because i do not want critical race theory taught to my children in school does not mean that i'm a racist dammit bravo tearing up is like a white woman's go-to move for getting out of any sticky situation well if it got me out of a speeding ticket let's see if it works on a historical reckoning look i get why these parents are upset i mean they don't want their children learning that white people are inherently racist but that's not necessarily what teaching about racism does for example a big reason why american neighborhoods are segregated today is because historically the government made it almost impossible for black people who tried to move into white neighborhoods it was called redlining and it was a societal structure that still has racist effects even if no white people in those neighborhoods now are personally bigots the point is that you can look at your history critically without believing that you are personally to blame for it and a good example of this is germany right they teach the holocaust in the schools but little klaus isn't walking home from class like oh mama mama nazi they said that i was hitler and i did the same thing as him even though i'm five years old no that doesn't happen because germans understand that we learn from history to grow from it not to wallow in it but you see what's happening right now is that in america some people don't understand that and their hysteria is spilling into actual laws several states including florida idaho and iowa have worked to ban the 16-19 project in critical race theory from their core education plans arkansas became the latest state where state agencies are barred from teaching any concept that the united states is an inherently racist nation in louisiana a republican lawmaker is now under fire for comments he made on the house floor when proposing the theory's elimination from academic curriculum if you're having a discussion on whatever the case may be on slavery then you can talk about everything dealing with slavery the good the bad the ugly there's no good to slavery though well then whatever whatever the case may be you're right you're right i didn't mean to imply that wow guys wow it's almost like this guy wasn't properly taught about america's history with racism huh although i am glad that he recognized how wrong he was you know but part of me does wish that he had just kept on digging in oh really you think that no good came from slavery what i'm the only one who likes the blues none of you like the blues who's the real racist now hmm still me i guess it is still me and you know what's really weird about this whole thing is how the same people who freak out about cancel culture now want to use the power of the government to stop bad ideas from getting into schools but i guess the solution is if anyone really wants to get anti-racism education in schools well they should put the curriculum in mr potato head's penis and that way conservatives will defend that to the death now look don't get me wrong i'm not saying that systemic racism is behind all of america's problems in my opinion i think a lot more laws are written to protect the upper class from the lower classes i mean that's why a lot of laws that screw over black people also screw over poor white people like a lot of counties in america pull poor people over and ticket them for random things like tail lights or whatever they want to just to meet their quotas but what they won't do is do that kind of thing on wall street right they don't pull people over who have access to lawyers or access to power no one's frisking down the guys from wall street to check if they have cocaine they want to go after poor people and it just so happens that the easiest way to find poor people in america is to look at the color of their skin because if they're black the chances are higher that they're poor or look at how it's illegal to jump turnstiles in new york i mean that's targeted towards poor people but it affects black people more because white men can't jump but look that's just me the bigger issue that is being brought up with this controversy is what is the point of teaching history like what is the actual point is it to make kids feel good that they live in a perfect country with no problems or is it to give them an unsparing assessment of how society got where it is so that they have the tools to change it in a better direction and i say it should be the latter because otherwise as a wise person once said those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it [Music] last year when the pandemic started a guy named josh sent a facebook message to a bunch of other guys named josh challenging them all into a fight in one year's time and unlike most of us who can't even keep plans we made earlier in the day these guys actually followed through on it what's in a name well just ask josh or ask all of them who gathered in lincoln nebraska for a pool noodle brawl a guy named josh created a josh fight at the start of the pandemic and then challenged all josh's to a duel the event got the attention of josh's from all over the nation but the winner of the friendly fight was the smallest josh of them all four-year-old josh was honored with a paper crown and bragging rights oh congrats to little josh for winning that josh fight and condolences to the family of josh groban who that child beat into a coma no but seriously it is it's really cool to see josh's from all around the country coming together to have some harmless fun you know usually when that many josh's are in the same place the only thing that comes out of it is what a hedge fund and you know that's one of the cool things about the internet is that it lets these kind of events happen organically you know for no reason at all i mean it's either that or maybe this was actually a giant undercover operation to capture josh duggar either way it worked and you know after watching this i realized that we need to crown a champion for every name because too often i meet someone like say my neighbor steve and i think to myself is this the best steve i could be talking to i mean i have limited time in my life am i going to spend it on some subpar steve yeah i'm talking about you again yeah you wanna make noise at night you think i'm not gonna talk about you on my show the only name you couldn't try this with is karen yeah don't ever try create a karen fight a karen fight will be much less fun all right is everybody ready all right let's do this three two one go hello police i'm in a field come help 9-1-1 come quickly someone is calling the cops on me everyone's on their phone and i'm scared down here right now or i'm gonna sue the city [Music] the republican party it's the only party that mitch mcconnell has ever been invited to party purple in the house ever since donald trump got the party's presidential nomination in 2016 the gop has been divided between politicians who love trump's brash grab him by the style and those who believe in more traditional republican values like telling poor people to stop being poor and now one of the last holdouts among the anti-trump traditionalists may be about to get the boots tonight the firestorm over congresswoman liz chaney's position in the republican party is growing with top republican steve scalise saying she needs to be removed from her role as the third ranking gop leader at issue chaney's fierce criticism of former president trump arguing he should not be a part of the gop's future after the capital attack and his false claims of election fraud i think that it was was the gravest violation of an oath of office by any president in american history chaney survived one removal vote after she voted to impeach mr trump in january but her gop critics have only gotten louder another removal vote is likely to come next week on wednesday top house republican kevin mccarthy caught on a hot mic obtained by mediaite i've had it with it's you know i've lost confidence liz cheney remains defiant warning her colleagues in a new washington post op-ed that history is watching calling this a turning point uh the gop is at a turning point that happened a long time ago don't you remember jeb bush flying out of the car that was the turn that was the ultimate turn still though i gotta give props to liz cheney for risking her political career to stand up for what she believes in because you don't see that very often you know it's like seeing someone use an iphone as an actual phone you're always like damn i totally forgot that they could do that wow say what's up to my grandmother for me man and yes it is a little weird to see a party be so loyal to a guy who doesn't have a loyal bone in his body or possibly any bones in his body but loyalty to trump is a defining principle of the gop right now and if she doesn't agree with that it doesn't make much sense for her to be one of the party's leaders you know like i think greta toomberg makes some great points but i don't think that she should be on the board of exxonmobil have we considered that instead of selling oil you all go to prison for killing the planet uh can you stop proposing that every meeting who invites her to these things why is she here and you might think it's weird that the party is so outraged over one person saying donald trump lost the election but the reason they're so mad about liz cheney is that they don't accept that it's the truth seventy percent of republicans think joe biden probably stole the election and even now there are still efforts going on to overturn the results in close states including a big one in arizona a pitched partisan battle over the 2020 election is raging on in arizona right now the gop controlled state senate is carrying out a third audit of arizona's largest county even though two prior bipartisan audits found zero evidence of widespread fraud or other issues the audit is being conducted by people who participated in the insurrections anthony kern a former state lawmaker who was at the u.s capitol on january 6 is among the people helping to count and inspect maricopa county ballots overseeing the exercise a florida cyber security firm called cyber ninjas it's run by someone who amplified election conspiracy theories hell yeah the arizona votes are being recounted by cyber ninjas [Music] i mean i thought regular ninjas were cool but cyber ninjas those are the kind of ninjas will steal your wi-fi password and then when you turn around to look for them your head falls off guys i really love ninjas like ever since i was a little kid my 10th birthday party was me and a big group of invisible ninjas and now that i'm saying it out loud i realized my mom just told me that because no one showed up mom now you might think it's crazy to have election conspiracy theorists in charge of an election audit but to me this makes perfect sense because don't forget this is the third audit they've done in arizona at this point you aren't going through the effort of counting again unless you know the guys you're hiring are gonna give you the result you want this is just smart and if you're wondering how a bunch of conspiracy nuts are going to turn a biden win into a trump win the answer is in the craziest way possible the arizona senate's ballot recount has been plagued with questions from the beginning investigative reporter morgan lowe exposed major security lapses such as open doors that allowed access to equipment and ballots it was also reported blue pens that can be used to alter ballots were handed out to volunteers on friday a judge ordered cyber ninjas the private company hired to do the audit provide documents outlining their procedures among the many conspiratorial revelations from the release of the internal cyber ninja documents an intense fear of an attack and breach by antifa and the use of uv light to look for fraud according to a q a theory the uv light will reveal water marks that donald trump put on the ballots to trap cheating democrats another bizarre twist that i was just telling you about moments ago in the arizona odd in auditors are now looking for bamboo in ballots audit official john brakey says there are accusations that 40 000 ballots were smuggled in from asia while there's no evidence of this breiky says auditors are using cameras now to look for bamboo fibers in ballot paper [Laughter] no no no i'm sorry no america is not real no these dudes are searching the ballots for bamboo like a bunch of starving pandas like who are these people you know sometimes sometimes i actually wish that i was a conspiracy theorist because there is never a dull moment like they can turn a regular ass thursday into an indiana jones movie like this and just so you know they've been looking at these ballots with uv lights for two weeks now and they haven't found any secret watermarks but they did find that 98 of the ballots have jizz on them yeah this is why you can't put curtains on voting booths people are disgusting now it's easy to dismiss this arizona audits but there's at least one person who's pretty sure that it's gonna put donald trump back in power and you'll never guess who that person is former president donald trump meanwhile continues to perpetuate the big lie about election fraud video has surfaced of him addressing a crowd at mar-a-lago last wednesday discussing the republican-led recount that's currently underway in arizona's maricopa county let's see what they find i wouldn't be surprised if they found thousands and thousands and thousands of votes so we're going to watch that very closely and after that you'll watch pennsylvania and you watch georgia and you're going to watch michigan and wisconsin and you're watching new hampshire they found a lot of votes up in new hampshire just now oh my god donald what happened to you this guy was the president of the united states just a few months ago and now he's like the world's worst wedding dj and i'm not even gloating here it is sad to see djt reduced to crashing parties at mar-a-lago in fact if they were smart mar-a-lago would charge you extra to have trump not appear at your wedding um if possible could we not have the former president interrupt my father-daughter dance to rant about the stolen election oh you want to spring for the deluxe package of course darling i do feel though that we're discovering a new rule of physics here if donald trump comes into contact with a microphone he's going to ramble about how the election was rigged doesn't even have to be a wedding he'll take over anything it could even be a funeral and we just saw that they found some votes in pennsylvania so unlike timothy here we're very much alive people very much alive but look the truth is trump ranting about the stolen election to an audience that eats up every word that is the republican party right now and it looks more and more like that's not a party liz cheney can be a leader in before we go may is mental health awareness month so please consider supporting an organization called the boris lawrence henson foundation founded by taraji p henson this is a non-profit committed to eradicating the stigma of mental health issues specifically in the african-american community by supporting the boris lawrence henson foundation you are helping to increase the number of african-american therapists combat recidivism within the prison system and provide mental health support in urban schools if you're able to help please go to the link below and donate whatever you can [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Views: 1,027,703

Rating: 4.8226991 out of 5

Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, joe biden, kamala harris, facebook, apple, data privacy

Id: elsU_YCXV1M

Length: 33min 44sec (2024 seconds)

Published: Sat May 08 2021