Donald Trump, Loser-in-Chief | The Daily Social Distancing Show

we will win this and we as far as i'm concerned we already have one we're gonna win we're gonna keep winning it's too much winning we can't take it president donald just a minute trump is in more trouble than a guy who kidnapped liam neeson's daughter because all day joe biden has been slowly chipping away at trump's lead in georgia while also cleaning up as mail-in ballots are counted in pennsylvania basically by the time you're watching this it could all be over so tonight you're either popping champagne or popping all your stress pimples but even though things look bad for him donald trump is not a quitter if you don't count his casinos and marriages and he still has several strategies to win this thing so let's go through those strategies today strategy number one is trump's first response to anything whether it's trying to get out of paying a bill or silencing a pawn star lawsuits with his path to re-election appearing to be narrowing president trump's relying on relief from the courts that may never come filing suits in michigan and pennsylvania to stop vote counting until the trump campaign can access the counting locations the trump campaign saying it would request a recount in wisconsin where joe biden is the apparent winner the trump campaign filing a lawsuit in georgia alleging one of its poll observers saw late absentee ballots illegally added to a stack of on-time absentee ballots in a heavily democratic county that includes savannah quite possibly we'll do a national lawsuit and really expose the corruption of the democratic party oh a national lawsuit so if you're watching this consider yourself served and what a difference between 2016 and 2020. when hillary lost she disappeared into the woods but trump starts losing he's dragging voters one by one onto the witness stand although knowing trump he's probably just hustling for a big settlement i'm suing because i should be president that's why i'm here but for 500 grand we can forget this whole thing ever happened 300 250 my final offer 50 000. i'll pay you but only twenty dollars out of the deal but what case exactly are they bringing to the courts well rudy giuliani the president's personal lawyer and man who drank from the wrong holy grail explained his objections to counting votes not a single republican has been able to look at any one of these mail ballots they could be from mars as far as we're concerned or they could be from the democratic national committee joe biden could have voted 50 times as far as we know or 5 000 times you have a reputation for dead people voting and we're going to go look at just how many dead people voted here do you think we're stupid you think we're fools do you think we're fools calm down count wacula first of all it depends on who you mean by we because if you're talking about you and trump then yes we do think you're fools but if you're talking about the entire trump administration then also yes because i mean come on dude joe biden isn't voting 5 000 times have you seen how long the lines have been not even joe biden wants joe biden to be present bad enough to wait that long and as for looking into dead people it's going to be hilarious when rudy giuliani is questioning the dead on how they voted did the democrats get you to vote for them no man i'm a dead guy just like you what i'm not dead i'm alive oh then you should you should get that whole thing checked out that oh joe biden was declared the winner of the 2020 presidential election but even though many people are cheering for some americans it's still going to take a little longer for this result to sink in now to president trump remaining defiant and not conceding this race across the country pro-trump protesters echoing the president's baseless claims that the election was stolen he would have to do a lot to convince republicans that this is anything except a left-wing power grab financed by people like george soros we had computer glitches that changed republican votes to democrat votes you look in pennsylvania dead people voted in pennsylvania there's a software called hammer and scorecard used to flip votes from trump to biden is that indeed true we've had hundreds of thousands of ballots mysteriously appear for solely for mr biden this is coo 5.0 luke oh cool 5.0 is that the cool with the front-facing camera oh that's dope i want to get one of those are these guys kidding us this was so bad [ __ ] i caught coronavirus just listening to it you're telling me that the crafty democrats have used their satanic powers to steal the election but for some reason they didn't steal the senate because what they were using the free version of satanic powers and taking the senate as a premium feature like when you think about this america's whole system is rigged to help donald trump the man lost by four million popular votes and still had a chance to win the electoral college how does that make sense the only person donald trump should be mad at is himself because he started on third base and still somehow lost the game and look i think everyone agrees that if there rarely is votes of fraud we wouldn't want that to decide the election but guys donald trump always says that this vote of fraud in 2016 he said it about every single primary that he lost right and then he even said it was the reason that he lost the popular vote it's never been true and this is not just me saying it the courts have also been like yeah donald we're not buying it buddy the president's personal attorneys have vowed to continue filing lawsuits even though they don't appear to have any clear path to 270 electoral votes and they've already faced a string of court losses so far as judges keep saying that these allegations are just not supported by evidence you get to the court of law you've got to provide evidence and the case that they brought in michigan was summarily rejected by the judge who said you don't have any evidence it was based on a posted note i'm not kidding on a posted note with an unsigned note saying they're telling me to change the addresses yeah that's the difference between fox news and courts in court they ask follow-up questions because you can go on fox news all day screaming joe biden stole the election but in court they ask uh how uh i got a i got a post-it note honestly i wonder does trump have even one lawyer who knows the law because it feels like all the people he knows he only knows them because they specialize in the criminal code that they've been charged with i need someone who knows fraud jimmy you did time for that thing right you're on the case buddy just do what they did to you so with the courts skeptical the campaign had to take their argument directly to the people and honestly it might have gone better if they'd chosen a slightly different venue the trump campaign held a press conference to challenge the election results at four seasons total landscaping in northeast philadelphia some people suspect the campaign intended to reserve the four seasons hotel but accidentally booked this landscaping company located between a crematorium and a sex toy store trump's lawyer rudy giuliani was speaking when he was told the election had been called for biden who was it called by all the oh my goodness all the networks wow all the networks no guys cover how is this real like how is this real how are you going to hold a press conference at a landscaping warehouse between a crematorium and a sex toy store i mean as a general rule if you're ever out declaring war you don't want to do it 20 feet from a dildo although i mean in some ways it makes sense because if you ask people what's halfway between a pawn shop and a crematorium they'd probably say rudy giuliani and by the way i have a feeling that rudy giuliani uses that sarcastic response a lot i'm sorry who wants me to put my clothes back on everyone oh wow everyone every single person in this denny's wants me to put my clothes back on so even though most of the world has accepted that joe biden will be the next president donald trump is clearly planning to drag out this fight for weeks and his people are behind him all the way well almost all the way despite no proof to support allegations of widespread fraud or illegal voting in the united states some of his top republican allies backing the president's refusal to concede at this point we do not know who has prevailed in the election the media is desperately trying to get everyone to to coronate joe biden as the next president but that's not how it works trump has not lost do not concede mr president fight hard president trump is 100 within his rights to look into allegations of irregularities and weigh his legal options privately people believe that it is time for the president to concede the election it is true that jared kushner has approached the president of conceding the election and then my colleague reported that the first lady has also talked to the president about accepting the fact that he has lost this election to joe biden basically they're all just waiting on the president to come to terms with what's happening yes melania and jared are reportedly trying to convince donald trump to concede although melania is definitely working her own hustle at the same time donald you have to concede pennsylvania says biden one and they also said our marriage isn't valid i know it's the decision the people have spoken and as for jared schooling trump imagine being told to grow up by a guy who's never gone through puberty that's gotta hurt it's also not great for jared either because this is just yet another impossible job trump has given him to do all right jared it's your job to convince me to concede the election okay sir it's time to concede eat [ __ ] you creepy mannequin catch me if you can ah so maybe trump will decide to concede eventually or hey maybe he won't it actually doesn't really matter either way because it's not really his decision to make joe biden is going to become president on january 20th and trump's opinion about that counts for exactly one vote same as any other vote in america and i know it's hard to believe but after all this time it looks like reality has finally caught up with donald trump [Music] it must be so uncomfortable working in the white house right now because everyone around trump knows he lost but they've got to all go along with the lie that's got to be exhausting especially when you're already running a fever from covid but look i'm sorry donald this just isn't going to work you can't pretend that everything's fine when the whole entire world saw you get fired my [ __ ] if people in bosnia know you don't have a job you do not have a job honestly people i don't think donald trump has ever looked more pathetic than this and yes i'm including the time he played tennis in his sport diapers because the only way that he can overturn the election is to prove that there has been nationwide voter fraud and the truth is that's just not panning out election officials in states across the country report to the new york times no evidence of widespread voter fraud the times reached out to top election officials in every state to ask whether they suspected or had evidence of illegal voting none reported any major voting issues as for pennsylvania the president claims and i quote pennsylvania prevented us from watching much of the ballot count the trump campaign went to federal court about this judge paul diamond a george w bush appointee heard the arguments and by the end of the hearing under questioning from the judge the trump campaign lawyer admitted contrary to his initial complaint that yeah there were in fact observers present similarly a state judge in michigan dismissed a lawsuit over access to ballot counting she cited a lack of admissible evidence on whether the campaign had even sued the right party in georgia the campaign sued over late mail-in ballots allegedly being counted the judge dismissed it again for lack of evidence yep trump's claims are being thrown out in the courts all over the country michigan courts georgia courts federal courts even food courts are like man get your [ __ ] out of this panda express donald he's getting thrown out of court so fast the bailiffs don't even say all rise they're just like nah y'all can keep sitting man we won't be here long yeah y'all just stay where you is here's the thing guys everyone knows trump lost even donald trump knows that he lost you know how you know this you realize you haven't seen his face since they called the race he hasn't shown it you think that if donald trump really thought he'd won he'd be hiding no we know this guy the guy would be holding a victory rally every single day he'd be flying around the country on top of air force one doing that weird jerk-off dance that he does [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] and just so we're on the same page reporters haven't found widespread voter fraud election officials haven't found it and even the courts haven't found it so now republicans are putting out a mass call for voter fraud investigation volunteers republicans continue to search for widespread issues in texas lieutenant governor dan patrick is offering up to a million dollars to incentivize encourage and reward people for reports of voter fraud even though there has been no evidence of any there right now we're in an evidence-gathering phase that's why we have a hotline and that we're asking people to to to let us know if they have any of these irregularities that they saw we'll pursue them and then we will pursue legal action the trump campaign has set up this voter fraud hotline basically where we could field calls about these allegations of voter fraud i'm told actually a lot of those calls have been prank calls that have been coming in oh man these poor trump lawyers they're going to be getting into court like your honor i have a sworn after david proving voter fraud from uh mr seymour butts and his good friend ben dover and and they're both very concerned wait a minute but what do they expect what do they expect you're gonna ask people to call in what do you expect the only calls anyone makes anymore are prank calls any other reason you just text even when your granny calls you now she's like hello sweetie is your refrigerator running well then maybe you should catch it you loser [Laughter] [Music] donald trump is saying that he won the election his supporters are saying that he won the election but meanwhile trump's lawyers are slowly moonwalking away am i out of frame president trump facing a new setback in his legal challenges to the election the trump campaign is abandoning a major part of his legal challenge to votes in pennsylvania the campaign is dropping its claim that officials unlawfully blocked observers from watching ballot counting in philadelphia and pittsburgh today the president's lawyers dropped their lawsuit in arizona admitting it would not change enough votes to matter in a pennsylvania lawsuit a judge asked trump's attorney are you claiming that there is any fraud in connection with these disputed ballots the trump attorney admitted no on friday a top lawyer at jones day which has represented mr trump's campaigns for more than four years told colleagues during a video conference call that jones day would not get involved in additional litigation in this election damn donald you're losing court cases all over the place it's almost like a miracle you know he took one election loss and turned it into a thousand more losses yeah it's exactly like a miracle but for losers i mean think about it he's the first president of the united states that lawyers don't want to represent and lawyers will represent anybody if you slipped and fell three blocks away from a walmart you'll find a lawyer who'll be like we gotta sue that walmart you got a case but trump is the president and they're like come on man don't get me involved in your [ __ ] man and the best part is how these lawsuits are slowly whittling down to nothing from where they started because when it kicked off trump's lawyers were like your honor this election was rigged and then it was like okay the election wasn't rigged but they didn't let us observe it okay they let us observe the election but not as closely as we wanted okay none of that is true but can we all agree that the word election is weird yeah it's weird right election sounds weird right we can agree on that so look man trump can say what he wants and his supporters can also say what they want but his lawyers clearly know the truth and the truth is that trump lost the election and not because of any voter fraud because people voted and on january 20th he's gonna have to move out of the white house the good news for trump is there's a guy with a u-haul who's probably still going to be out there and he can help him move [Music] donald jiggy with it trump in his continuing efforts to find an alternative result to the 2020 elections trump on twitter has already claimed victory in both pennsylvania and michigan congratulations trump your president's on twitter but in reality both of those states are making like melania and slapping his grubby little paws away the pennsylvania's supreme court ruled that republican observers in philadelphia were given proper access under state law to view vote counting it's the latest in a string of legal defeats for president trump and his last-ditch effort to challenge results in states that he's lost new election drama unfolded in michigan a public zoom call turned tense after two republican canvassers in wayne county which includes detroit initially blocked the move to certify election results shame on you shame on you for leading to this level of corruption you talked about not certifying detroit even though you acknowledge that livonia a city by the way i know you know is 95 white had bigger variances than detroit which is 80 black president trump praised the attempt to challenge certification tweeting having courage is a beautiful thing but minutes later the panel changed course unanimously certifying the presidential results what a roller coaster basically what happened was the republicans on this commission tried to disenfranchise detroit voters but people on the zoom call shut that down by exposing their hypocrisy and just think about how 2020 has changed everything like it used to be that someone would say oh i saw martin luther king jr speak at the lincoln memorial but in 20 years it'll be like oh i saw this dude in an orange polo yell at a racist on zoom i think his name was ted or ed or something oh it was so good and it's especially impressive that that guy could be so morally compelling because it's not easy to be engaging on zoom you lose all emotion i bet you if mlk had been on zoom he wouldn't have been as impressive i have a dream i have a dream that one day we will find oh damn it my cat has peed on the bed again whiskers what did i tell you about jumping on the bed and doing that when you got your litter box so on the one hand it's great that this election board scheme was stopped but on the other hand you know things are going bad when an election board is making national news because i'll be honest before yesterday i'd never heard of a four-person canvassing board or wayne county or michigan now while it's true that no one has turned up evidence of widespread fraud georgia just finished recounting its votes and they found 2600 ballots that had not been counted with most of those votes being votes for trump now that means trump could lose georgia by around 13 000 votes instead of 14 000 votes right but it still shows you two things one elections aren't perfect and mistakes can end up costing candidates votes but two it shows you that donald trump is so far behind that nothing he can do will help him but he has the truth whether you agree with donald trump or not you can't deny that discovering thousands of votes weren't counted will definitely make some people doubt the validity of an election especially if your side lost i mean imagine if after hillary's loss people found out that wisconsin didn't count thousands of votes liberal twitter would have lost its mind so don't be surprised that the megaverse is doing it now and yes yes donald trump made up these voter fraud claims i don't deny that but uncounted ballots for joe biden as well by the way and trump make trump look right you know it's like if your partner accused you of cheating and you weren't but then tinder sends you a notification saying it found you a match you'd lose your [ __ ] baby this was from two years ago i was updating the phone and it installed the old apps i don't use any medicines from jesus please don't leave me donald joe biden beat my ass trump none of his legal efforts to undo the election have been working so now he's trying a different approach you might remember that yesterday two republican election officials in michigan tried to throw out votes from the entire city of detroit and then they had to be shamed into backing down well it turns out that wasn't the end of the story breaking overnight to republican election officials in michigan have changed their minds again first they refused to certify the election results in wayne county then they agreed to certify them but now they're trying to rescind that decision despite a lack of evidence and we are now learning that president donald trump actually called both of them following that controversial meeting trump's campaign has long been pressuring georgia republican secretary of state brad raffensberger anytime that trump targets a person publicly they get death threats and they have to get security raffensberger and his wife have received death threats in recent days including a text to him that read you better not botch this recount your life depends on it arizona democratic secretary of state katie obs says she too has faced ongoing and escalating threats of violence this video shows a group of apparent trump supporters outside hobb's house at night chanting quote we are watching you that's right people donald trump president of the united states is working to overturn the election and people can we agree this is not normal seeing donald trump work i mean that's not normal but it's happening trump is personally listen to this trump is personally calling election officials and targeting them in public hoping to pressure them into overturning the election results which i don't care who you are is deeply disturbing because before now he was at least pursuing his claims through the courts yeah it wasn't fun but it was legal you know it's the difference between camping on a spawn point and call of duty and smashing the controller on your brother's head one is bad sportsmanship the other is assault and the president's supporters aren't even sending anonymous death threats which makes sense in a way because trump himself wouldn't be able to threaten anyone anonymously you know he'd blow his cover right away if you don't overturn the results you're gonna be in big trouble tremendous trouble people tell me all the time wow what tremendous trouble he's in mr president i know that's you no it's not it's not me barnald but this shows you that there's no winning when it comes to donald trump if he doesn't like you you get death threats if he does like you well then he gives you covet and while the president's team is still fighting the election in court it's become clear that even that strategy isn't really just about pursuing legal options the washington post's bob costa reports that giuliani's team knows the president can't win and instead are trying to make sure the vote is not certified quote their endgame to try to force it to the house there's a legal game that they're playing if they can tie this up in court if they can create enough doubt then they are hoping that the states just won't certify the election and if the states don't certify these elections it goes to the house of representatives where donald trump has a very good chance of being named president united states so there's a there's a legal uh trick that they're trying to pull here throw enough garbage in everybody's face that maybe these elections don't get certified he can steal it in the house just to be clear trump's lawyers are now reportedly telling people that they don't need to win in court they just need to create a situation that is so messy republican legislatures will step in and overturn people's votes and again forgive me here but it's so astounding to me that america's laws can even allow this kind of thing to happen i mean there's all these safeguards double checks protections for every single vote but then if the legislature is a different party than the winner they can just be like no we're just gonna pick our guy instead that is wild it's like if you set up two-factor authentication for all your accounts but then you give your phone to vladimir putin for safe keeping yeah don't worry i make sure that you don't have too many pornhub account and look it's extremely unlikely that any of this will work although a lot of extremely unlikely things have happened recently i mean if you had told me two years ago that the next wonder woman movie would be going straight to hbo max i would have said what's hbo max actually i'm i'm still saying that what is hbo max like is that the same as hbo go or is that hbo now was it like both of them like do i have it am i on it [Music] donald trump's attempt to cling to office faced another setback yesterday when wisconsin and arizona became the latest states to formally certify biden's victory and the arizona ceremony happened at a particularly awkward moment for donald trump as the governor was signing the certification documents his cell phone buzzed with the ringtone of hail to the chief ducey has previously said he set that song for calls coming from the white house this time he muted the phone and set it aside as he signed documents that made trump's loss official [Music] whoa that is cold sending the president of the united states to voicemail like he's spam which he is but still you know [ __ ] and friends are watching this like oh that's a good trick we we can just not answer before we got to try that and you know what made this move especially gangster is that he knew trump was watching him on live tv we've all had that moment where we think somebody's ignoring our call or our text but to actually see it to see him look at his phone see your name and then put it away that had to hurt trump was probably sitting there like this is so painful i've got to call melania and tell her how bad it hurts i guess melania also can't come to the phone right now donald j trump president of the united states and man who's in a bar fight with reality ever since he lost the election his people have been going through every court in the country trying to find a judge who will help him unlose the election but yesterday he might have hit a dead end the supreme court has now shot down an effort by president trump's allies in pennsylvania in that overall effort to try to overturn the election terry the u.s supreme court seemed to send a very strong signal late today with a very few words they sure did this was brutal david no question about it it took the supreme court just 34 minutes between the time that president trump's allies in pennsylvania filed their brief in this case and a one-sentence order from the supreme court rejecting that entire case no reasoning just no get out of here and there were no recorded dissents by any of the justices including amy coney barrett and neil gorsuch and brett kavanaugh all of whom were appointed by president trump it came in a single sentence and we quote the application for injunctive relief presented to justice alito and by him referred to the court is denied [Music] man trump is taking l's people not only did they shut this case down but they shut it down in just 34 minutes they didn't even pretend that they were going to consider it this is like asking somebody out and they just shut you down immediately hey would you like to no go out with me and trump must be especially butthurt that the justices he appointed didn't do anything about this because in his mind he thinks that they owe him big time he's probably like what the hell brett i stuck with you and everyone said you were a creepy drunk but now you won't let me be president just because i didn't get enough votes all of a sudden now you know the meaning of the word no bread huh i hate all of you neil brett and you hurt me most of all amy coney island but here's the truth man you can't blame the supreme court for not wanting to get involved in trump's case because we all have that one friend that when you see them crying you think you know what i'm just going to keep walking because if i try help it's going to become a whole thing so this looks like it could be the end for trump's legal efforts because he can't appeal a higher court than the supreme court i mean maybe he'll try appeal to god who knows look i know i'm only asking for your help when i'm walking down a ramp but this one's important big guy ever since election day president trump has made it clear that he would not accept the will of the voters and allow joe biden to move into his house instead he promised to fight the election results in court where he was sure that he could count on his hand-picked supreme court justices to rule in his favor well over the weekend trump got a reality check the supreme court deals a crushing blow to president trump in his attempt to overturn the election the lawsuit was attempting to nullify electoral votes from four states that joe biden won georgia wisconsin michigan and pennsylvania the response to the lawsuit came in the first sentence denied for lack of standing under article three of the constitution saying that texas did not have an interest in the manner which another state conducts its elections the president had repeatedly said that he wanted his case to go to the high court particularly after he had appointed a third justice but the justices decided they didn't want to hear the case essentially saying that the state of texas texas which filed the suit had no business suing over another state's election and now mr trump's legal options have effectively run out man i'm sorry guys but that is ice cold like vaccine storing temperatures ice cold because not only did the supreme court not even hear trump's case they announced to everyone that they weren't going to hear it i guess bad enough when someone sends you straight to voicemail but imagine if they then went around telling everyone that they did it yo you see donald trump call me you want me hanging up on this [ __ ] i'ma buy hang up i'ma buy hang up he gone although to be fair to the court this is also such a weird case for them to get because it's from texas texas suing a bunch of other states about how their elections went that's like telling the waiter that another table should have their food sent back yeah i noticed that their food was a little too hot you should probably take it back for them and frankly i agree with that it's a good thing that states can't just sue other states for any reason because if that was allowed there would be lawsuits all the time connecticut would be suing new york for the constant noise violations colorado would sue wyoming for stealing their shape and every state would be suing texas for having ted cruz [Music] american democracy it has been three years since joe biden won the 2020 presidential election but yesterday he did it again president-elect joe biden took another critical step toward the white house today with the vote by the country's electors known as the electoral college formalizing his victory the ceremonies at state capitals across the country are usually a mere formality but with the president refusing to accept defeat the electors today found themselves in the spotlight legislative offices in michigan were closed yesterday amid threats of violence and state police had to block a group of pro-trump supporters from entering the capitol the capital's call was unless you have an officer today office's patience but we're also electors yes you are and you look so good in your elector costumes but this meeting is only for grown-ups so why don't you guys go to the park and play your sore loser game over there okay and don't get me wrong i'm glad that the system worked but it is weird that this is the system i mean everyone has known that joe biden was elected for a month but if those guys had somehow managed to sneak into the room then they could have screwed up the whole thing i mean what would have happened if that cop had been 50 dumber and let those guys in huh you don't want your democracy to depend on a bouncer but yes for the 30th time donald trump's attempts to undo the election have once again finally come to an end and even some of his biggest enablers are accepting reality president trump refuses to concede but top republicans now congratulating biden i think the race is over pennsylvania republican senator pat toomey uh is telling the philadelphia inquirer quote the outcome of the election is clear and that is that joe biden won the election senate majority whip john thune said of south dakota said it's time for everybody to move on the electoral college has spoken so today i want to congratulate president-elect joe biden overnight russian president vladimir putin finally acknowledging biden's victory congratulating him in a telegram reportedly writing in part i am ready for interaction and contacts with you i am ready for interaction and contacts with you putin doesn't sound human he sounds like a self-checkout at a cvs ready for interaction please to place item in the big seriously guys what a weird phrase i am ready for interaction and contacts with you sounds like mike pence getting frisky and you know trump's luck has run out now that mitch mcconnell has conceded the election because forget putin if mitch can't find a way to subvert american democracy then it just can't be done you

Channel: The Daily Show

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Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, daily show trump, trevor noah trump, trump, donald trump, yule log, joe biden, trump loss, christmas, fox news, election, 2020 election, president, president elect, loser, rudy giuliani, four seasons, law suit, pennsylvania, georgia

Id: qpSRuXoflcI

Length: 35min 46sec (2146 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020