What Teenager Secrets Will You Never Tell Your Parents? (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories)

what did you do as a teenager that you will never tell your parents all those times I sarcastically answered smoke the reefer to the question of what I was going out to do I was actually telling the truth I really didn't want to do PE one day but I didn't have a good reason so I knew my dad wouldn't write me a note so what I did instead was get a plain piece of paper and asked him to sign it because we are doing a thing in English where we try to guess the personality of a person from their signature which he totally bought either then went to the printer and typed out your standard sick note start the signed plain paper into the printer so when the note printed my dad's signature would appear at the bottom I will probably tell my dad this at some point because I'm actually kind of proud of myself for pulling it off my time to shine my senior year of high school I snuck out of the house at like 2:00 a.m. to get some my parents were a little psycho and put bells on the front and back doors you know in case of burglars but they didn't put them on the laundry room door which led to the garage the garage had a side door in it that lead outside so obviously that was my way out the problem with that side door is that it's a bit hard to tell when it's locked since you can always get out but not necessarily back in serve me being stupid and horny just assumed it was fine and went along my merry way did the deed then when I tried to get back and I found the door locked sheet I tried every other possible entrance all locked but I had my phone and an idea so crazy it just might work I called my mom and in my best helpless daughter voice cried mommy I woke up in the front yard and the door is locked I'm so scared she came right out and got me I mumbled something about sleepwalking then she made me waffles since I was so distressed my mom still tells the story at family get-togethers I now have a reputation as a crazy sleepwalker TL DR got laid lied to my mom then she made me waffles i legit used photoshop to change my grades on a bad report card once they never figured it out my mom still recalls this one day when I was unusually positive and talkative with her it's because I was high out of my mind on Ritalin I had a mini breakdown when I took ritalin once and called my mom at 6:00 in the morning and told her how depressed I was and how anxious I was and that a lot of the problems I had were because of her and my dad not a proud moment sorry mom my mom left my friends all come over the night after graduation believe it or not she got together with the other moms for us to have a little party complete with a few more beverages and beer we gave my mom all our keys we turned up the music we got out a table we proceeded to plate and all night my mom still thinks we got drunk by the end of my senior year of high school I racked up 26 detentions for going to first period for 10 minutes and then just leaving for the rest of the day my mum thought I was in an after school club called decide against bullying in schools a cadaver which is what I was actually doing every time I skipped I miss high school me going on dates with girls kissing girls you know the usual for a 16 year old supposed Muslim girl you know would get myself held if I told them I'm not proud of this anymore but after I realized that my parents had stashed all the liquor behind the washer and dryer I totally started taking a few shots here and there once my friends found out I had access to my parents redneck liquor cabinet we overdid it one weekend at the beach and I panicked because this time I knew my parents would notice but I also had to pee and there were no public restrooms at that Beach so I went behind a sand dune and peed in a fast food cart then poured it back into my dad's mostly empty rum bottle drunken teenage logic decided that I had enough from that day that I had been borrowing it from good old dad so I gave it back I'll never know if my parents use the rum for anything but what I can say for sure is that they attended a party every January and brought their own homemade brew way to his patre Telia I'm pretty sure I let my parents drink my pee my parents were both out of town but left the car with keys in kitchen anyway I was 16 just learned how to drive and this girl texted me to come pick her up and come back to my place 10 minutes later I'm grabbing the keys and driving across town in a car that I shouldn't be in with no license they are never gonna find that one out when I got my first cell phone a nexus 5 my parents kinda went nuts with the whole plugged in and turned off in the living room at night thing knowing them it was probably an anti porn measure unfortunately autumn my 3d s had and a half decent internet Brown really strict parents of my friends was not allowed to go on the internet on his 3ds because of this don't get me wrong he was an innocent kid but was only allowed half an hour a day on it when I was 13 a friend of mine use to steal his mom's muscle relaxants and split them with me at school and some of those days I would have my dad pick me up because I wasn't feeling too great snuck out of the house with a friend while I was staying over with her to meet a group of boys she hooked up with one of them in a truck while the rest of us me and the other two guys hung around in the desert at night trying not to notice the truck rocking back and forth I must have been 14 or so never did anything like that before or since I went with her b/c I was afraid she'd get in trouble with the boys by herself so I wanted to watch over her we got caught by her parents who told me they were going to tell my parents I prepared to be grounded for life then her dad changed his mind and told me I was a good kid and he would let this one go but we had better not sneak out of his house again needless to say he went through this a lot with his daughter I never told my parents and never will law and I'm 28 now I sneaked out a few times to have alone times with a high school girlfriend only got caught once modern cars are so quiet teenagers now just don't know the struggle of trying to keep an old slant-6 from waking your parents when I was in high school I would push my truck out of the driveway and down the street so my parents couldn't hear it start up when I was about 15 I took half an eighth of mushrooms and maybe eight or more Karissa din pills and went downstairs to watch a movie with my parents my parents were always fighting back then they really hated each other and I hated them as well but for some reason that night was very pleasant we were all laughing and joking and having a genuinely good time meanwhile the walls around them were breathing and the carpet was swelling beneath me I was having trouble focusing on their faces that would be the co-resident but I wasn't in the least bit paranoid that they may know I was high it was an extremely strange night my dad and I are friends now and we've talked about our drug use when we were younger he was getting high in his room while I was getting high in mine and angrily taking my WETA when he caught me and smoking it himself apparently my mom was the one who was adamantly into drug dad just put on a show for her sake but for some reason I've never mentioned that night to him I used to sneak out and do stupid stuff with my friends in the neighborhood not drew ghusl drinking but stealing stop signs egging a house once laying on the golf course and shooting the sheet I honestly though my folks knew about it in that they were just if the kids will be kids mentality I even got a ride home with the local police once or twice but no my parents had no ducking clue what I was up to I don't want to tell them not because I worry about what they think of me but rather that they would blame themselves for not seeing it I did a lot of DMT in high school when my parents asked where I was going I always said no idea probably another dimension I'm sure they knew I was smoking pot but I'm positive that they have no idea what dimethyltryptamine is or what it does a friend from high school and I snuck out with her boyfriend who could drive when I was 14 she was 15 he let her drive the car and she crashed it it was his dad's car his car apparently being in the shop I didn't really get to hurt the sights and bruises but we had to walk 7 miles home at 3 a.m. we got home right before anyone got up I trafficked large quantities of male mushrooms acid and we double across the u.s. to sell at music festivals we would go on month and a half long road trips dealing at them and could make 15k a person each weekend I'm not sharing that one I looked up porn on the family computer because I knew they'd blame my brother he was an asshole and we didn't get along so whenever he pissed me off I'd look up for I didn't even watch it just Google some tits so it would show on the search history one time he ruined my school project so I looked up some bondage and really torturous BDSM stuff then when my mom went through the search history she'd find it tell my dad and they'd freak out on him they never knew it was their Catholic school attending daughter being a spiteful sheet the clean clothes on the floor was there not only because I was a lazy slob but my closet was a mushroom farm was trying to convince my dad to buy me a new computer for college he doesn't exactly like the fact that I play video games due to the Asian Middle East and mentality of study till you die but I'd been doing it for so long he begrudging li accepted it after realizing it wasn't just a phase however he made it clear that he would only buy a computer for the express purpose of helping me get a computer science degree shocker right unfortunately he wasn't tech savvy at all so I searched online stores until I found a laptop that I wanted to replace my old GT one day it was an $800 Asus gaming laptop with middle-of-the-road specs for the time there was no way he would ever buy me a laptop that was built for the express purpose of gaming so I used inspect element to replace all instances of the word gaming on the product page with the word studying and made sure not to reload the page when showing it to him it would change the words back into gaming it worked and within one week I got my new study in computer I used to intern at a radio station one day I told my parents that I was going to go hourly to sit in on an editorial meeting instead I took a bus now South to interview a felon about her experiences with solitary confinement and prison debt for a piece I was working on they think this interview took place at the station if they found out the truth now they would probably get a heart attack when I was 18 I flew to Portugal to meet my boyfriend at the time who was over there for the summer one day we decided Duquette this particular city is cool but let's go exploring so we packed up our belongings walked out to the edge of the city and started hitchhiking about a week and a half later we've passed through Portugal Spain and mr. France and my scumbag boyfriend decides he needs to find himself or some and dumps me in a petrol station in eastern France so I wind up staying with some lovely Buddhists who are on a retreat in the mountains then hitch various lifts back to Spain and fire when I got home my parents asked me if I got up to anything fun I said we did some traveling by train I'm almost 30 now and it's still a secret it's an interesting story but I was so ducking lucky it went relatively okay I could have been one of those kids who goes missing or gets murdered I used to steal and snort my mum's painkillers initially to try to understand why she did it how she experienced life after two weeks I noticed I was walking around like a zombie the way she had my whole life haven't touched the little devils since left the country when my dad was a teenager he periodically hopped the border with his friends security was a lot less tight in those days so you just had to wait until no one was watching and duck into the field on the other side of the road wanted to go home sick from school early in eighth grade so I put a mouthful of soup in my mouth at the end of lunch and just held it there went to my next class and sat down quietly then five minutes and frantically rushed up to the front of the room and threw up in the garbage can got to go home early and miss the next day as well and my parents thought I had legitimately caught a stomach virus might add-- knows this mum doesn't my freshman year of college I got busted for smoking pot at school just smoked a joint outside and went back to my room to do some homework 20 minutes later campus police knocked on the door my room reeks of weed ah they took my bond all my grinders pipes what-have-you they sent a letter home and find me I told my dad to keep checking the mail to make sure mom didn't get to it he told me just to be more careful long my girlfriend ended up dropping by my house on her way to visit me one day and grab the letter out of the mailbox my mom never found out I'm a straight-a student and it had break her heart Swee mom not me but my cousin his parents go away for the weekend with explicit instructions not to take the boat out as soon as they round the corner he's pulling the boat out of the garage my cousin Tim and his friend Eric go to local lake to go waterskiing eric is pulling Tim behind the boat and Eric starts to go in circles to make waves for Tim to jump Eric is sitting on the edge of the boat while driving so he can more easily look back to make short-term hasn't fallen the boat hits a big wave and Eric is tossed out of the boat now the boat is going in circles with Tim skiing behind it and nobody driving it is getting closer and closer to the docks with each pass eventually Tim swings wide and swims as hard as he can to get out of the water before the boat comes back around someone on one of the docks sees what is going on and jumps in the boat and shuts it off just as it scrapes one of the docks they took the boat home had a buddy repair the scratches and never said a word to my aunt and uncle mid-teens went to an unsupervised birthday party with a mixed group of friends boys and girls birthday girl wants to play truth or dare ha ha ha cute right it got grown up real fast long story short we all watched each other have 6 bonus years later my brother dated the rondo girl I nailed he brought her over to meet the family we recognized each other but said nothing just shared a horrifying silence when they were leaving I heard my brother asked her if she got to meet me she replied oh yeah I got to meet him I cringed and have never stopped cringing well I was a pretty good kid growing up didn't smoke drink do drew Gus or even have six growing up I just never felt a need to however this one time I was about 14 years old pretty developed more so than my friends and I constantly had attention for boys I was going into my freshman year of high school and this senior took an interest in me many nights of AOL chats and we were hooked on one another thing was he was 18 almost 19 clearly I couldn't tell my dad that is just barely 14 year old wanted to date a man so I did what any kid would do said I was going to friends house and from there her and I double dated till movie dude had his tongue down my throat the entire film and kept trying to fill me up when he begged me for six I kinda dropped him I did that exact scenario probably four or five times my freshman year so yeah my dad will never find out about all the ground as men I was kissing up on my freshman year of high school while he thought I was baking cookies and watching scary movies with my girlfriends when I was 17 I would go visit my friend's sister at her college I told my mom we were doing innocent activities like seeing movies and going to dinner really I was getting wasted with my 19 year old boyfriend who also went to school there I never planned to tell my mom but she picked me and my now husband up from a wedding this summer we were pretty drunk and he says this is how drunk we used to get when I first met you thanks honey my parents didn't know she during my teenage years my mom had pretty severe mental health issues and my father had a level of apathy rivaling that of a serial killer now I was always kind of quiet and bookish so I had no desire to go to parties or whatever dad also had an alcohol problem so I was never too keen on drinking or drugged us once though my rich friends brother was taking him and a few of my friends to the city New York he asked if I could tag along with them and I come from small-town USA and hadn't ever been there before despite the fact that we aren't really that far upstate NY is super rural but if you drive a few hours down south you'll hit the city I went out with the mat about 6:00 a.m. and it and come back until midnight we didn't really do anything dangerous or risky and no sightseeing Mandan store et Cie but now that I look back on it I never even asked them for permission I just got on a train left her giant metropolis and it and come back for 16 hours they never even asked to know where I went I was chatting with my best friend's older brother on a one night and he offered to pick me up in his car for ice cream so I snuck out with him that night later that evening in the school parking lot at midnight he pinned me down in his car seat and made me feel super and safe borderline sexually assault I was thinking the whole time it was happening I didn't even tell my mum where I was that night I still haven't told her what happened nor that I had even snuck out didn't tell my best friend either taking that one to the grave I was 16 and had a younger sister about seven years younger than me anyways my mum worked two jobs and always left her with me to watch usually I was a good babysitter made her dinner played games with her et Cie this one night however I had to babysit her unexpectedly which sucked because I had planned on tripping on mushrooms with a few close friends my mom eaves and I informed my butt's but tell them we could trip at my house since mum was gone my little sister was a tattle-tale and always got me into trouble flash-forward I'm in the kitchen making mushroom tea she walks up and asks what I'm doing knowing that she's obsessed with Harry Potter I tell her I was making a wizards potion she yells out that she'll tell mom I had friends over if I didn't give her some I feel extorted and get first yeah I could have given her just regular tea but am pissed in my adolescent mind and say Duquette I give her a coffee mug of mushroom tea I know it's stuck to her an hour later everyone is tripping including her we all wound up having a great time and she hot to experience the LAN King on a whole nother plane of existence I told her about it years later when she was 16 and we both laughed but goddamn I hope my mom never finds out [Music] [Music]

Channel: Storytime With Reddit

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, top posts, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, subreddit, reddit stories, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, story, stories, askreddit funny, reddit best, funny posts, funny, funny askreddit, r/, best posts, reddit funny, sub, people, funny stories, memes, Cowbelly, Updoot, ToadFilms, storytime with reddit, sir reddit, planet reddit, teenager, student, secrets

Id: I1sEEB8liUo

Length: 22min 10sec (1330 seconds)

Published: Sat May 30 2020