What Story "Perfectly Sums Up The Stupidity", Of The Stupidest Person You've Ever Met? (r/AskReddit)

who's the stupidest person you've ever met and what story perfectly sums up their stupidity I've posted this story before but this seems like another appropriate thread for this story one night during high school my friend and I got invited to a party I didn't drive back then so my friend pick me up all went well on our way to the party on the way back however he got pulled over as we were pulling to the side of the road I told him that I was gonna pretend to be sleeping since I was the passenger anyway I hear the cop get out of his cop car walk towards our car stops at the window but doesn't say anything I can feel the brightness of his flashlight but I don't hear him or my friend say anything after about what seemed like an eternity I decide to open my eyes to see what's going on that's when I see my friend the guy who is driving is pretending like he is sleeping - guy I went to high school with was at a party and asked the homeowner if he could have hurt her ticket she obviously said no he left and came back an hour later with a ski mask on demanding for the ticket was arrested the next day can't make up that kind of stupidity old co-worker of mine he was helping me move and while we were carrying a couch he dropped it thinking he was hurt I asked if he was okay and with the most serious and frightening look in his eyes he said pointing look it's the moon and it's daytime he was 25 at the time in grade one the teacher told the class that the moon only came out at night the moon was clearly visible through the window so I asked if the moon only comes out at night what's that she replied cheese and also sent me to the principal's office for disrupting the class that was 30 years ago and I still hold a grudge about it I worked with a man named Roy Roy had theories about how to live life boy economics one day he turned to me and the other member of the crew you boys want to know how you get nice things he asked you go to the store and you finance everything new furniture new appliances missions stereos everything then you don't make any payments and you don't show up for your court date they'll end up garnishing your wages but they take away less than the payments would have been then about a week later you boys want to know how you buy house you apply for every credit card you can possibly get you take out your entire balance in cash from all of them and you use that for your down payment then you don't make any payments and you don't show up for your court date for people thinking that they may know the specific Roy I last saw him 10 years ago at that time he was in his early 50s was rocking a great lunch skillet and lived in a hamlet in the province of Saskatchewan this girl I used to work with before she got fired one day she came to work with a broken arm and claimed her boyfriend pushed her during a fight and she fell we all were super concerned for her until she came in a week later saying she stabbed her boyfriend in the hand during a fight to get back at him for breaking her arm then a few weeks later she told everyone she was secretly trying to get pregnant because if she got pregnant or unemployed boyfriend would have to get a job and help pay rent she got pregnant and her boy friend immediately dumped her whew so many twists I can sum it up very easily we were at the shooting range his gun jammed he looked down the barrel to see what was wrong the first time I met Ben was an improv 101 I was only taking the class for fun but about half the people there were aspiring actors including Ben on the first day the teacher had us all play this silly game to break the ice and so we duel remember each other's names the rules are pretty simple one pick an adjective that starts with the same letter as your first name to introduce yourself using adjectives plus first-name and 3 do a simple gesture that goes with it so everyone is going around the circle introducing themselves as daring Daniel and lonely Lauren and awesome Alex until we get to bed then introduces himself a surfer Ben he proceeded to misunderstand at least one key element of every game or exercise for the rest of the class I have no clue how this man functions in daily life he has since managed to get a few featured extra roles on TV though my friend's sister was 20 and pregnant she said something about how upset she was her vagina would be ruined I jokingly said maybe he'll come out of your butt instead she said what do you mean can they come out of there too I thought she was joking so I just said up it's a 50/50 shot she thought I was serious and asked her doctor if he could tell if the baby was gonna come out of her vagina or ass back in my younger and crankier days I worked with a young woman who was hands-down the dumbest person I've ever met her highlights include winning a basket auction that included a copy of the Beach Boys album Pet Sounds and complaining because she didn't want to hear a lot of mooing on a day she was driving me up a wall I convinced her to wait to open her bottle of coke because the bottle said there was a winner every five minutes she was disappointed cheated and went after waiting exactly five minutes I however enjoyed her sulky silence for the rest of the day the best / worst one involved her chatting with the manager who was african-american she's white they were discussing their shared slightly uncommon name and then realized their families both came from South Carolina she thought for a few minutes and then excitedly exclaimed I bet my family owned yours she was so proud of herself for figuring out that historic connection the manager didn't say a word and just walked away coworker was anti windmills when I asked why she said there are way too many popping up and we are going to use up all of the wind I was speechless I'm never speechless my freshman year roommate dropped a class because he wanted to play his PlayStation more it put him below the minimum credit threshold for his scholarships and his parents owed $40,000 my brother he is genuinely the stupidest person I know he has broke his arms five times three for the right on and two for the left this is how he did it one age seven dancing on the table fell off to age 15 smoking pot with friend cop shows up and he runs jumps offense shorts get caught he falls out of them onto his arm three age 17 runs in front of his friends truck as it went down the road at 30 miles per hour for age 19 was trying to hide from someone and jumped over a couch and somehow broke his arm I don't remember how he broke it the other time I just know it's been five times he was arrested for possession of a firearm when he is not legally allowed to own one it was his friends firearm he pointed it at a cop he got expelled from my high school twice he got expelled from public school on the last day of school for writing raped a pregnant bitch call it a threesome on a final note these are Apple Eric's he did not actually rape a pregnant woman he had two lines in a mandatory play he still messed it up while in prison he got a marijuana leaf tattooed on his face upon seeing him for the first time after prison he said mom thinks I'm getting it removed but I'm only gonna make it better I'm also gonna get Chinese lettering down my face we are painfully white he dropped out of high school before finishing the tenth grade not because he had to just because he didn't like school and wanted to do drugs instead he ended with a 3 in history and a 6 in math I don't know what his other grades were when he was 15 my uncle was 30 it took half an hour to explain to him why he would not always be half of my uncle's age he genuinely genuinely believed that the Ebola scare a couple years ago was the beginning of the zombie apocalypse I am sure if I thought real hard I could come up with someone more stupid but this story is pretty good there was this receptionist had the veterinary office we have taken our dogs to over the years who argued with my dad about how to pronounce his own name he went in to pick up some prescription something for our dog Daisy and this girl asked the typical name of dog name of owner type questions we have it listed as Michele and you don't look like a Michele she says dad asked how it was spelled on the monitor and sure enough it was still spelled Michael dad's name he said that says Michael that's my name and she argued with him about it he had to get his driver's license out to show her and even though she finally relented to let him pick up whatever it was he was down there to pick up she was adamant my dad has been mispronouncing his own name for 50-plus years the best part his dad tells us this whole story and we think nothing of it till like three months later when mom took the dog in for a checkup the girl still thought the owner of the dog was Michele inapt my mom must be in a lesbian relationship mom gently corrected the lady that it was Michael and again this girl was adamant it was pronounced Michele more amused said something along the lines of it's literally a name from the Bible it's pronounced Michael and has been for thousands of years the receptionist sat in silence outside of the minimal amount of talking needed for the rest of that visit my ex-husband we were playing rock paper scissor to decide who had to go change the baby best two of three round one I throw scissor and he throws rock I win he proclaimed round two I throw paper and he throws rock I when he says again um paper beats rock I tell him his response no rock beats everything I spend like five minutes trying to wrap my mind around this finally I ask him then what's the point of even playing in total sincerity he says to have fun I can see why he's your ex-husband literally this guy got fired last week for doing this whenever a customer would enter the store he would mimic everything they said whilst already bad enough he would try his best to copy their accent too no matter what accent it was multiple complaints our store have been made about this guy and he had plenty of warnings well last week he finally got fired while serving a nation customer and in full view of our manager he says this hero would you write a brag got pulled into the office where apparently he still maintained he'd done nothing wrong and couldn't understand why he was being fired definitely a dumbass my mom's cousin was the getaway driver when his friends held up a 7-eleven he had some outstanding tickets at the time as he was driving his moron friends him home he sped past a cop who inevitably pulled him over he defended his bad driving by telling the cop he was just the getaway driver then he got arrested he has since been arrested for a series of other similarly stupid crimes he also believes that there's a global cabal of Jews who are out to get him recently he got a DUI which got his license revoked this was obviously because of the Jews and not because he decided to drive drunk past a police station when he was denied a gun license that was the Jews at work I have no idea why he thinks a global cabal would be focused on some moron from Saskatchewan I once called an uber driver when he arrived he immediately asked me are you going to X location I said no he responded great because I'm not going to take you to X location fine I said the journey got under way and I was curious as to what he would have done if I said that yes I wanted to go to X location so I asked him hey what would you have done if I had said that I did want to go to X location he responded look man I'm not going to duck him take you to X location okay I told you already I was a bit befuddled but I tried again I don't want to go there in fact you already know where I want to go it's on your destination map I'm just curious what if I did want to go to X location would you have refused me the trip would you have driven off he said look man I can't change the trip now and anyway I told you I refuse to go to X location you gotta understand I'm busy we spent nearly 15 minutes with variations of this back and forth he was a fluent English speaker by the way by the end of it I was 100% convinced that he couldn't understand the syntax of a hypothetical he literally couldn't understand the question of X situation which is not the case then what action would you take I wasn't even mad just astonished how had he navigated through life this far what were his financial decisions like I really wanted to follow him home and make a reality TV show about him or something you again look man I'm not gonna take you there I had a manager named Roxanne rocky she was a bleached blonde literally bleached her hair once a month and then wondered why it broke / fell out bubblehead who only had the job because daddy owned the restaurant rocky was really obsessed with her looks and not much else one day she told me and a co-worker that she had her nose job done so that her eventual children wouldn't grow up with the same nose as her she wasn't kidding the co-worker and I just looked at each other and walked away we knew it wasn't worth the effort okay to be fair her children will grow up with the genetic nose and she'll have the different modified nose so she's technically correct

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Keywords: r/ askreddit, r/ask reddit, askreddit stupid, askredit smart, askreddit stories, askreddit stupid stories, people share, best posts and comments, askreddit dumb people, askreddit dumb stories

Id: aR0d0dLcT80

Length: 14min 41sec (881 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 11 2019