What is the smallest lie you ever told, which had the biggest consequences? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what is the smallest lie you've ever told which had the biggest consequences oh man when I was seven I had been learning how to play the keyboard for two years it was one of those Casio keyboards that had light-up keys to learn how to play a song if you put the easy setting on you could literally hit one or two keys over and over again and it would play the entire song through so at the age of seven my grandparents thought I was a prodigy I could play Fur Elise Canon in D and moonlight sonata family and friends would come over to listen watch me play and were astounded two years or so go by like this for my 10th birthday my grandparents bought me a real piano and signed me up for a summer camp where prodigies of different instruments went to compete very expensive my entire family friends from school and a priest family friend was there for my birthday party and wanted to hear me play on my new piano I broke down crying and ran to my room and confessed to my grandmom what I had been doing for years and it broke her heart and Trust for me it sucked I still cringe when I think about it I've been playing for over 20 years now though one can play all of the songs I listed in probably hundreds more now when I was 15 I was Skype messaging my girlfriend of two months I wanted attention so when we were signing off I told her I was going to kill myself that night never planned on doing was just a dumb fifteen-year-old who wanted attention well she told her mom and then her mom called my parents to check on me my parents and I then had a long talk about how my cousin had attempted suicide and that it isn't something to be taken lightly I tried to explain to them that I was joking and they sorta bought it and recognized I was immature my girlfriend broke up with me a week or so after that big surprise and I got sorted depressed my parents then pulled me out of the public high school and had me go to the private Christian school going to the Christian school affected where I chose to go to college I met the girl I plan to spend the rest of my life with that said college I have no idea what my life would be if I just decided to not be immature and joke about suicide told my parents I had lost my crappy phone on a bike ride C 2010 when I had actually put it under my bed so I could get a new touchscreen phone over my crappy Alcatel phone mum went to phone shop and tripped on ledge outside shattered her left elbow narrowly missed out on having the joint replaced with surgery to this day she can't then - left arm passed 150 degrees and can't kneel as tripping f ked her knees up big style and caused a hernia in her stomach that the NHS refused to operate on unless it becomes life-threatening crappiest Sun over here being the youngest sibling I was always getting roused so one time they told me as I was starting school to look out for the fiery drill I had never been in school so I asked what it was you will hear a loud Bell that warns children when this man comes to the school and attacks with a drill that's on fire and tries to drill into the kids brains so a few weeks into school there is a fire drill so I take off screaming like crazy hoping to survive running as far away from the school as I could my mom was not too happy with my siblings when she got the call from our school telling her I was gone not me but a good friend of mine those are not my pants double quote we were at a party and he had a sex with a girl and he came back without his pants I asked them where they were and he said he didn't know we sat there drinking for a while and this huge guy came up and started yelling and said that someone slept with his girlfriend and all he had to go on were a pair of pants he found next to her she said she was too drunk to remember anything he said of course those are not my pants and then he elaborated and said he managed to steer himself earlier and they were in the washer well we all backed him up because we knew he was tear fighting the guy found the only other guy in the party who wasn't wearing pants no clue why and he punched him in the chest max out unknown to anyone the guy had a heart defect the punch caused the wall of his heart to blow out he was pronounced on arrival at the hospital the guy who punched him is in jail for manslaughter and his on suicide watch last I heard because he keeps trying to kill himself when telling stories on Reddit I change up a few details like if I'm 18 LLL say I'm 17 or 19 it'll say I live in a town one town over stuff like that the point is if someone gets pissed at me which happens pretty regularly look at my username and I also defend cops a lot they won't be able to DOCSIS me well someone tried to Doc's me anyway and they somehow came to the conclusion that I was this kid a year below me in the same high school as I was at at the time so I had to both try and convince the docs guy that that wasn't me and I had to go to this kid and explain that I'd somehow accidentally stolen his identity and he should watch out for a crazy dude on the Internet I must have put enough doubt in the docs ex's mind cause nothing really happened after that when I was 13 I was really into watching interracial gangbang porn I had a friend who was already sleeping around at that age and she had a thing for black guys relevant I live in Mississippi my parents had always said they would not be okay with me dating black or Hispanic men but Asians were fine they eventually change their mind and apologized for being so ignorant plus one parents when my stepdad saw my search history he asked me about it in his scary stepdad voice I immediately said my friend used my computer the night before he called her mother and told her she was banned from my house and because of the porn she found out my friend was having sex she was withdrawn from school and sent to a Christian Academy a year later she kicked her out of her house and she became a homeless crack addict she's recovered now but I often wonder how different things could have been had I just admitted I like looking at black hawk's back in third grade my friend dropped his brownie on the floor in the cafeteria because he said he didn't want it when the lunch aid came over she asked me who browny it was and I said it was there when we got there because this was my best friend and I couldn't snitch on him later that day I was called into the principal's office and was questioned vigorously on this brownie like it was a big deal I held my ground and denied everything but then for the rest of time I spent in elementary school I was never allowed any treats snacks drinks in any classroom throughout the school tough love if you ask me my friends and I accidentally got a kid suspended we finished the last class of our day before lunch on a Friday and we were feeling pretty good so we picked up a handful of rocks and tried to see who could throw them the farthest turns out one hit our teacher she brought us into the office and made us tell the VP our story since she wasn't in the room we lied through our teeth and made up a description of a kid we'd never seen before a week later the guidance teacher approaches us and tells us she's glad we didn't take the blame for the kid who threw rocks because the principal found out who it was and he's be getting a three-day suspension from school suppose they're the principal and the teacher were not done and realized that children lay when in trouble the teacher wasn't thrilled about being hit by a rock but thought a stern talk and understanding of the seriousness of the issue was sufficient so they let you often tell you later that someone was suspended over it even though nothing actually happened that way they retain your perception of the serious nature of the consequences once when I was a kid I invited a kid that I bullied horribly over to my house for a sleepover because I was told I had to do something nice for someone I hurt by another priest during confession I went to a Catholic school the next day after a pretty boring night we were playing in the snowbanks and I lied telling him my foot was stuck and I couldn't get it out he ran well over a mile back to my house to get my mom to save me well that kind of woke me up and made me realize this kid isn't that bad after that day I never bullied anyone again and 20 years later that turd that I bullied so terribly is still my best friend was the best man at my wedding and the godfather of my first child I told my mom I hated her the morning she passed away I was ten she was 39 I wish I could take it back every single day this advice comes not from me but from another person who had a very similar experience mother honey it's cold outside please put on a jacket double-quote son got mom you are so stupid it's fine just leave me alone double-quote that was the last thing he said to her before she died I believe she was involved in a car accident anyways like you he carried a tremendous amount of guilt over his last words to her what helped him was now every act of kindness or generosity he does he whispers a quiet that was for you mom he lives trying to be the person his mother was trying to teach him to be and every time he does so he credits her memory it helped him perhaps it will help you also if nothing else I know that mothers would never want their children living with a lifetime of guilt when my sister and I were kids I told her the Easter Bunny came through the drain I thought it was cute and since Santa came through the chimney I couldn't think of any other routes into the house she cried for hours Easter became the most miserable holiday for years until we grew up and she realized what an idiot I am when I was about 13 I called a little boy ugly at the time my mom's best friend was driving me home from school of course she told my mother what I said and my mom asked me to not say things like that I told her I didn't call anyone ugly it was a little lie at first I didn't know what she was talking about and it became this big hollow deal about my kid would never lie to me and why would I lie about this they were best friends and they no longer speak because of this all three of us were done and immature I walked in on my friend finishing a conversation on her phone she looked at me petrified and asked if I heard everything I told her with the defeated face yes she starts crying and leans on the air telling me she is so afraid and doesn't know that to do I did this in Italy as a joke but obviously I'm in deep water now so I just tell her everything will be fine and to call me whenever she needed me turns out she got pregnant and asked me to go to an abortion clinic with her her boyfriend scrammed we are best of friends now I was at a job fair against my will was trying to steal a pen so I could retire to a dark corner and doodle while everyone else did their thing the lady caught me taking a pen and I had to act interested in her sales pitch then a news reporter showed up before I knew it I was in national papers as a general human interest story as a turnaround miracle story of how I'd come all the way from the barren plains of another country far away while kicking mental illness and addiction and now wanted to become a nurse I don't nor have I ever wanted to be a nurse but that interview sure no bull doll out of proportion all I wanted was a free pen it's been 10 years and people are still asking how the nursing career is going in college the girls in the apartments down stairs asked my roommate and I have we'd like to join them at a concert a month away neither of us wanted to and my quick-thinking roommate said that date is my birthday it wasn't and we have other plans they ended up not going to the concert and we had forgotten about it but on that day they called me downstairs to help him move something I walked into the door and surprise a birthday party for me with about 15 people there my roommate was just as surprised I couldn't tell them the truth and just went with it even got a couple small gifts I always felt guilty about it I've told this story before but during my undergrad I took a number of business courses during one of these courses we learning about a small company that produced hi and jam the prof asked the class what we thought of high-end Jam as a business I said that it was a stupid idea why would I pay $20 for a bottle of jam when I could make it myself I meant that as a rhetorical question but apparently my profit of my literally when I was packing up at the end of class the prof came over to me and started asking me all sorts of questions about Jam making so I rolled with it I lied and told him how my grandmother taught me how to make jam when the right time to pick the berries was to ensure optimal Jam etc I don't know how to make jam I had no idea what I was saying but the prof bought it we became buds after every class we would chat mostly about Jam he wrote my reference letter to get into my competitive undergrad program and again when I apply to fill my masters I owe most of my academic career to Jam my first year walking to school alone was the seventh grade and I was late a lot it got to a point back the teacher told me I would have to do all the day's chores putting chairs down in the morning wiping boards clean cleaning after lunch et Cie if I was late again well the next day I was running late as usual being a lazy sob I knew I had to do something to get out of doing the daily chores so when the teacher asked me why I was late I thought back on the assembly we had a few weeks prior on school safety so I told the teacher that a strange man pulled up to me when I was coming into school grounds and asked me to come with him to see some puppies I honestly thought that would be a good enough excuse and it would be the end of it [ __ ] nope school was suspended for the rest of the day police were called my parents were called in and I was interviewed for the entire day had to describe the man the car everything they ended up hiring a security officer for the grounds because of that incident and put in a few new cameras we had monthly school assemblies because of it - and it was all for nothing because less than a week later I was late again and had to do all the daily chores I used a fake ID freshman and sophomore year in college to buy beer at the nearby liquor store run by a very nice Korean man who I chat for a while with everytime I went to get a keg or anything on my 21st birthday I was drunken there and told him here's my real ID I'm finally 21 . the look on his face was about one stroke two-second of guilt inducing you lied to me face until it turned to happy birthday orange is stupid Dart he gave me a free six pack of pills miracle and said he was happy to have me as a customer I felt so bad during those few seconds but with all the booze we bought there I probably put his kid through school my freshman year of high school I used to bring muffins with me to my first period class so I wouldn't have to eat breakfast at home my favorite was those big ol Costco chocolate muffins one day the muffin must have come apart in my bag because when I opened it up and pulled out my books they were covered in brown chocolate gunk one kid loudly pointed it out saying something like what the hell is that dirt I was a compulsive liar at the time for some reason I decided the best course of action would be to sniff the books and announce oh man someone took a sh t in my backpack double-quote I thought it would get a laugh maybe divert attention from the stupid mistake I had made nope for the rest of my high school career I was the guy who had someone sh t in his backpack throw away account because my fancy looks at Myra did from time to time and I've never told anyone this when I was a sophomore in high school there was this girl I really liked and we sat across the table from each other in some science class come around Valentine's Day I asked her if she'll be my Valentine or whatever we kind of flirted before that she says something along the lines of well you'll have to get me a birthday present too because my birthday is the 14th - now my birthday is the sixteenth and just to have a little in common I stupidly said mine to double quote fast forward two years and she still didn't know it wasn't my actual birthday and I had to find ways to avoid her on the 16th when I spent time with my family for my birthday edit the girl in this story isn't my fancy she was an old girlfriend from high school I grew up in South Africa for context it's very common for middle-class houses to have a domestic helper so when I was in the second grade there was a girl I was in love with I decided I would wear perfume to impress her I was at my grandma's house for some reason that night so I took her perfume to school and sprayed it on myself before I walked into class somehow throughout the day I lost the bottle of fragrance my grandma a few days later asks me if I had seen it I replied no she then asked the lady that helped around the house she also said no my grandma assumed she had been lying to her and fired the lady I felt awful about that but never owned up to it my attempt to impress a girl in second grade resulted in a lady losing her job I'm sorry Madrid I am a Sikh turban guy and looked very much like a famous cricketer Harbhajan Singh from India when I was on a vacation in Jamaica one guy came up to me and asked if I was Harbhajan Singh before I say anything my wife turned to me and said see I told you they will recognize you that guy got so excited and called all his buddies and within minutes I was surrounded by 10-15 dudes who wanted to meet and take pictures with me I bet your maker hasn't seen many Sikh turban guys so it was easy to get away with it I ended up signing few autographs before I left from there my freshman year of college I used to hang out with this guy named Shan Shan was a really nice guy who I considered to be a good friend but he had a big personality he was the kind of guy who was fun to hang out with in groups but came off way too intense in one-on-one situations one night Sean asked me to go see a band play with him I lied and told him I couldn't afford it 30 minutes after my white lie an ecstatic Shan greeted me at my front door apparently he decided to surprise me by paying my cover to the concert but didn't have enough cash on him so he stopped at a gas station on the way to get cash back he also bought a scratcher ticket that ended up winning him something like $3,000 Sean ended up using the money he won to take a girl he had a crush out on an impromptu road trip to see her favorite band in Chicago a couple years down the line they got married we used to joke that their entire marriage was based on a lie made a throw away for this one graduated college and didn't know what to do with my life was miserable and depressed and working a boring job I hated with a passion all I knew was that I wanted more out of my life so I quit my job and started job searching I knew this would upset my mom and told her I got a job as a voice actor instead kept this like going while I kept looking for jobs eventually I decided to actually try voice acting turns out I love it but I could never land a job however I can't let it seem like I was failing or stalled because then I'd have to go back to work or tea a job that I hate so I tell people who ask that I booked a recurring role on a TV show then a family friend hears about my recent success and gives my contact info to a casting director they know said director contacts me and asks me to audition for a lead role in a new animated TV show they are developing that will be broadcast nationally I end up booking the role so I lied about being a successful voice actor and ended up landing my first job as a recurring character on a new TV show not mine but my sisters she told me the truth in a state of total bewilderment wanting to get out of gym class one day in the sixth grade she told the teacher she fell on the playground and hurt her arm she managed to work up enough fake tears that the nurse got my mom to pick her up and take her to the hospital where the x-ray must have been completely drunk because he announced that her wrist was broken she spent the rest of the year in a cast when I was in elementary school my best friend and I went on a bike ride to town my mom did not want me riding that far alone but we went anyways and didn't plan to tell her on our way back about a mile from home I was coasting down a hill and was messing around by making funny noises and pressing my sandals against the bike tire I hit a bump and lost my balance and my foot got stuck in the spokes of the bike tire causing the front bike tire to lock up with my momentum going over the handlebars I fell over and started sliding down the hill with the bike on top of me and my foot still lodged in the spokes of the tire when I got home my mom asked why I was limping so I told her that I dropped my history textbook on my foot turns out I had broken my growth plate on my foot and had to get an MRI it took 10 years to finally tell them the truth my dad's response was that's embarrassing I just thought that you were a nerd double-quote 14 years ago I was at a party of a friend of a friend and kind of lied to be super interested in a turtle or tortoise or whatever it was that he had in a terrarium I just wanted to pretend to have a valid reason to be in this corner of the room in order to get a better view of a girl standing there who was apparently not wearing a bra but she started to talk to me and it turned out she had just moved in next door and didn't know anybody there we are now married for almost 10 years and have a girl and a boy in fourth grade my school had a problem with some people breaking into the trailer classrooms and stealing the VCRs overnight one day my classroom was it and everyone was all hyped up about the situation I remember leaning over to one of my friends at the time and saying that I knew the guy who was involved just so I could seem like a big-shot what I didn't realize is that he would go and tell the principal which he did I spent the next month in and out of the office fabricating lies about who or what I knew because I was young and didn't know how to properly handle the situation hindsight is 20 stroke 20 after all I finally broke down to my mom while waiting for my sister's checkup to be finished I'm talking about ugly crying I ended up confessing to the principal before any real damage had be caused the name I was using was an actual guy who lived in my neighborhood who was like 19 - 20 and honestly was not a bad person at all and had ice for two weeks when I was a boy I plagiarized an encyclopedia Browns story for a creative writing project my mom was so proud of me and was parroting my story to her friends for days I'd never felt so guilty in my life so ashamed even though I didn't know what plagiarism was I knew I had stolen those words paraphrased them as my own I vowed I would never do it again and would write my own stories to overcome the theft 25 years later and I've written three novels and tons of short stories as far as I know none of them are cribbed I wake up in cold sweats sometimes worried that something I've read her somehow permeated my subconsciousness and made it onto the page I was in second year university I was living in a townhouse across the street from my girlfriend at the time we were on the ropes a little bit and she had just got into a non-lethal non-threatening car accident I left the house that morning to go buy her flowers I wanted to give her the flowers after school we were walking together and she asked me where I went well stupid me said I didn't go anywhere she then called me out on a walking path in front of a lot of people about how much of a liar I am etc I then told her hte truth and she didn't believe me she was like we are finished double quote I ended up giving her the flowers and she apologized but it really was the beginning of the end when I was a kid at the grocery store I'd often lay in the bottom part of the cart where you put heavier items I had a toothpick in my mouth that I got from a sample a lady or something the toothpick became soggy and my five-year-old brain thought the best place to dispose of it was to poke it into a loaf of bread right above me in the cart fast forward a couple days later I had forgotten about what I did at the store and my dad is now making me a sandwich he finds the toothpick unaware of what I had done and starts flipping out about how he could have served this to me in that I could have choked on it I was worried about being punished and already felt stupid so I didn't admit it was me and hoped it would blow over then my parents called the Bread Company and a couple days later they sent a representative to our house and gave us a sh t load of free breads as compensation white wheat rye I'm sure it was all there they also conducted an internal investigation to try to figure out how a toothpick got into a loaf of their bread apparently they can't identify um guy who liked to have toothpicks in his mouth when he worked he may or may not have been punished I hope he wasn't TLDR stuck a toothpick into a loaf of bread when I was a kid fed my family for a few months I had a Skype interview for my first job I was in my roommates room in college because I shared a very small room with no desk at one point in the interview my future boss asked me if I was home to which I answered yes but then somehow he got confused and thought I was at my home home not my college house and I didn't want to correct or explain it to him because the interview was going well after that he noticed my roommates Mardi grass street sign behind me and asked me a bunch of questions like where I got it how fun was it etc for example I told him I got it near the Main Street and he started describing the streets and the stores I just said I don't really remember since I was too awkward to properly explain everything to him I just started saying yes to everything he asked he ended believing I was some crazy party animal sniffing cocaine off of naked woman's backs and having crazy orgies in the streets edit confirmed I did get the job and worked there one five years before changing jobs he still does not know not me but my my brother when he was in first or second grade he felt like not doing his homework for a solid week when confronted by his teacher about this he decided to tell her that we had a death in the family and lost an aunt my mom is one of nine and I guess he figured the teacher wouldn't ask too many questions he was almost scot-free until he went grocery shopping with my mom the next week and ran into the teacher and dairy my mom was very confused when the teacher was apologizing for her loss both heads turned to my little bro and he has to sit ler and explain it to both of them he got grounded and my mom and I still laugh about it when I was in high school I was running late so I crossed the street and jumped over a chain rope my foot got caught and I ended kissing the street I was between the main entrance and a huge intersection my shame was so big because how can you trip when the chain was so low that I just stayed on the floor closed my eyes and when I was trying to pick up the courage to stand a woman stops her vehicle fast and comes down running at me yelling that I was hit by a car everyone started getting flustered my mom was screaming because she didn't saw anything just me dead I was so ashamed that I just kept going with the flow the school staff took me to the doctor the doctor was asking me a lot of questions and I just nodded and tried to act like it was hurting a lot next day everyone at my school asked me if I was ran over I move my head up and down and told everyone yes eight years later I tell my mom that I was so embarrassed that I closed my eyes for a little while on the sidewalk trying to pick up enough courage and suck up my 18 pride but everyone else thought I was hit by a car and dead backed when I was 16 I was a camp counselor for a group of kind of gardeners a few of them wouldn't stop shoving each other so I told them jokingly to save it for Fight Club which was at the end of the day being kids they thought Fight Club was real and told their parents about Fight Club which resulted in me having to explain to the administration and all the parents that no there was no Fight Club I wasn't hired the following year they broke the first rule of Fight Club when I was a young teenager that had just discovered what masturbation was I would finish into an old white t-shirt of mine and throw it in the bottom drawer of my dresser months went by with this routine and the shirt ended up getting crusty yellow stains on it why I didn't use something more disposable or throw the shirt in the wash I have no idea my mother eventually found the shirt one day after deciding to put my washed clothes in the dresser I come home from school to find both my parents sitting at the kitchen table with a shirt in front of my spot my mother starts to shriek about how terrible drugs are for you and that in Helens will destroy my brain I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell them the truth so I shamefully apologized and owned up to using englands to get high from the norm there were no aerosol cans allowed in the house and I had lost the respect and trust of my parents for the longest time ended up being extensively grounded and shamed all because I decided to jizz in a shirt and wouldn't own up to it in middle school I became good friends with the girl whose Locker was next to mine one day at lunch she casually mentioned that she did ballet for a while in elementary school stupid me wanting to fit in says Oh me too I did ballet well somehow she interprets this to mean I'm some experienced prima ballerina and to this day I'm still keeping up the lie truth be told I can't dance at all [Music]

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Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit, ask reddit, askreddit, updoot, toadfilms, sir reddit, reddit jar, askreddit funny, askreddit dumb, reddit ama, reddit ask me anything, r/askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, askreddit scary, askreddit stupid, scary stories, askreddit new, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, askreddit top posts, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit stories, best of reddit, reddit best, funny askreddit, storytime with reddit, r/

Id: _4DEeWODIkI

Length: 33min 5sec (1985 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 02 2020