What Is the Funniest Thing You've Ever Witnessed Right in Front of You?

what is the funniest thing you've ever witnessed right in front of you i was walking through my neighborhood on a sunday morning loudly singing me say day me say day o and a jamaican guy popped his head out of the trunk of a car and sang daylight come and one go home he had been packing the trunk or something and i couldn't see him it was wonderful i'm happy that that happened somewhere my sister and two cocker spaniels were out back sliding glass door closed the two dogs decide to run a full sprint inside ba bam both dogs collide with the door then my unaware sister does the exact same thing it all happened in about six seconds i would pay real life money to see the original version of this unaware it was about to happen i was sitting at some traffic lights a few weeks ago and a guy on a fancy racing bicycle rode up onto the traffic island to wait to cross except he forgot he was wearing those shoes which clip into the pedals so he stopped balanced for a second and then just toppled over at that moment the lights changed to green so i had to drive off on off the funniest things i ever saw i did this once substitute high school chemistry teacher demonstrating reaction between calcium carbide and water test for the presence of acetylene with burning splint experiment instructions emphasized multiple times that only a single crystal of calcium carbide should be used butthole poured the whole bottle into the petri dish and then sent the class nerd to the office when he tried to interrupt the guy when he actually tested for acetylene his whole upper body was engulfed in a fireball that shot up hit the ceiling and left a black soot ring the guy was okay except every hair on his head had been singed off that's hilarious sucks you got sent to the office yo so i'm sitting outside of bowdoin sourdough bakery in san francisco near the fishman's wharf and see the guy come out with one of their bread bowls full of soup now if you've never been here let me tell you the seagulls are everywhere and pretty aggressive about trying to get your food so the guy goes and sits down and starts eating his clam chowder and the birds are everywhere squawking like seagulls do and you can see it's irritating this guy so he makes the mistake of tearing off a piece of bread and throwing it to the gulls he thought it was bad before but once they knew they could get food out of him he was surrounded so one of the seagulls lands near the guy and is standing with its back to him about five feet away the guy gets up walks over and kicks the crap out of this bird as soon as he turns around he realizes this was a mistake i would say there were 50 seagulls on this guy's food he then screams oh i see how it is you send your [ __ ] friend to distract me while you sons of bee enjoy my food it was quite funny tl dr seagulls are jerks i've seen a seagull drop out of the sky and snatch a sandwich from a boy's hand seagulls are such em i worked at santa's village a down market amusement park in the 80s it's the adventureland for an exact replica of the scene standing in my carnival game booth i watched a kid stagger off the spinning teacup ride a good distance away and then veered dizzily this way in that until he wound up directly in front of my booth at the very center of my field of vision he paused a second puked up everything he ever ate in his entire life and then staggered out of frame it was like this perfectly choreographed little movie scene i can still play in my head thank you 80s kid you were and still are hilarious i remember santa's village those were some of the best days of my life i was at camp as a kid one summer and a tedious counselor was telling a story everyone thought he was boring but for once he had our attention we stood in a circle in some woods watching as his tale telling became more animated due to our attention at a climactic moment of his story he pointed skyward and inclined his head saying and i looked up at that moment a bird flew over and sat on his forehead i thought i would stop breathing from laughing so hard i've got the feeling this was planned was at the movies with a buddy he went to take a crap so i entered the store right next to his for a reason i can't remember then came right back out a few seconds later this gigantic 300 pounds black fellow comes in and sits in the stall i was previously in my buddy who thinks i'm still in the stall wipes his butt then starts waving the poop covered toilet paper to the guy in the stall i've never seen anyone yell so many curse words in public before while all this was happening i was on the bathroom floor crying and laughing harder than i ever have before my university choir went to finland one year which was an amazing experience the day we arrived my brain was a bit foggy from the jet lag but i wanted to take advantage of being there so i went with my friends to explore helsinki i was walking down the street talking to one of my friends next to me when i walked straight into a pole i wasn't hurt at all just surprised but as i collected myself i noticed that the only person who had noticed aside from my friend was this random finnish dude on the other side of the street who was intensely cracking up from what he had seen i think the sight of him laughing uproariously at my stupid moment is one of the funniest sights i've ever seen dude you made a fin laugh while in public holy freak a very very icy parking lot and a bunch of high schoolers rushing to their car i saw at least 20 people slip and fall that day i really enjoy watching people fall high schoolers and cars and ice sounds like a dangerous combination we had a halloween party with a pinata because freaking candy anyway one guy was dressed as lieutenant dangle and one guy was dressed as the hamburglar somebody knocked the penator off the rope and without missing a beat the hamburglar picked up the pinnator and took off but dangle drew his gun and immediately gave jace yelling into his fake police radio all the way down the street man i was at that party but i left before the good crap went down so many regrets in eighth grade i had a friend named roland who was about four feet tall and another friend named carl who was about 200 pounds and about five feet seven inches during lunch in the cafeteria cole was getting his food and roll and notice his sweatpants sitting on the bench roland put on coal sweatpants over his own clothes and proceed to walk around with them pulled up over his head cole saw it and ran to catch roland we had tears in our eyes from laughing as carl chased his own sweatpants around the cafeteria my dad was at a stoplight in downtown cleveland and some guy with sagging pants starts using the crosswalk his pants were sagging so bad that halfway across the street they just fell off and he fell flat on his face i love my freaking city some big 300 plus pound dude was lambasting some girl for being too skinny and was saying you look like you need a freaking doughnut to twig a little eight-year-old nearby said you ate them all it would have been kinda funny regardless but the fact it was such a young kid made it hilarious your username makes me hungry when sledding the other day and some random dog took a major dump right at the bottom of the hill we were at my friend screams up to warn everyone then points it out to let everyone know one kid comes zooming down the hill realizes he's in the direct path of the crap pile tries to stop before he hits it bales right on top of it and the smears a little path of it as he's trying to stop tumbling in a flash he grabbed his sled then nope the frick out i didn't even see him leave if he had just kept going he would have went right over it and been totally fine i named him streaks i would have yelled at the owner to pick up his dog's crap i loathe those kinds of owners maybe not the funniest but this annoying little girl was weaving recklessly through a crowd of people at the mall i could see the scene from above as i rode the escalator up she tripped and fell and spilled her bag of skittles all over the place and particularly in front of a shoe store as she got up an employee standing at the front of the store told her in a heavy indian accent taste the rainbow i really wish i had seen this i was riding a bike with my friends and asked this old nice lady in an electric wheelchair if she would race me she did i was getting dressed in our bedroom and was naked from the waist down standing at the end of the bed my wife must have seen something behind me poking out from under the bed and went down on two knees to fish it out i really had not been paying close attention to how close she was and bent over to pick up my underwear just as she straightened up with both of her hands full of whatever she had fished out from under the bed as you might imagine she was surprised to see my butter me a few inches from her face and as a result she accidentally lost her balance and instead of dropping whatever she had and steadying herself on the bed she held onto it for dear life and slowly tipped over falling face first into the crack of my hairy butt i was as you might imagine surprised as heck that there was suddenly a face in my butt i stood up so quickly and clenched my butt cheek so tight that i locked her nose firmly between my cheeks and then time stood still i was shocked and stood like a statue in stunned silence she started screaming a muffled whale into my butt crack and we both wondered what to do next she started flailing wildly to find a purchase and suddenly she realized she could drop whatever she was holding and push herself away she grabbed my butt and shoved so hard she nearly pushed me halfway across the room she sprung up and ran to the restroom so fast you could almost hear the doppler effect and started washing her face while both crying and laughing at the same time to this day all i have to do to get her to cringe in fear and embarrassment is mention the butt crack incident you deserve all the upvotes in the world my friend this was beautiful read it to my mother and she couldn't breathe from laughing so hard my brother was riding one of those pocket rocket things and as he passed he gave me the finger but then he rammed into a parked car giving him a broken arm and the car a huge dent by the way the car was my parents car good times i think you mean crotch rocket a pocket rocket is something else entirely once at college there was a nice spot on the walkway outside our dorm covered in a light dusting of snow my friends and i all slipped on our way home later from our common room window we saw others falling within half an hour 11 of us had gathered around the windows with tea and popcorn watching every single person who walked down that path fall or flail crazily to keep from falling one time a really tall guy wound up doing a chicken dance for about seven feet but managed to stay upright at the end there was vigorous applause but not from our room we rushed outside turned around and saw that at least four other windows in our dorm had crowds gathered around them we waved and eventually all gathered on the lawn for an impromptu falling party reason number 497 of why i miss college i was driving in buffalo ny and it was a total white oat one thing they say is never to stop in a white oat because a tractor trailer will just rear-end you to heck so i found a car and started riding his butt just because i could only see his brake lights when i was only inches from his bumper then the brake light started flickering like a strobe light and the car came to a stop i didn't know what to do so i got out of the car there was this huge black guy standing there and he yelled yo man i can't see crap i laugh my butt off and took the lead for a while those dang tracker trailers walking home one night must have been 3am come around the corner and there's a skinny chinese kid nailing a big native woman doggy style on the side of the road she's moaning and all he says is what's up with the biggest grin on his face we'll never forget it a very large woman at a scrabble tournament decided to loosen up before her first game so as a hundred people listened to the rules of the tournament she got on the floor and started doing all kinds of stretching and aerobics it wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't 350 pounds and wearing a summer dress those darn scrabble tournaments are always wild and crazy i watched a group of special needs adults ride gockets one of them would drive halfway around the track perfectly then just slam his brakes for no reason another crashed into the wall and when the gokkut employee put it back in the right path she yelled it won't go it won't go the employee had no idea why i wouldn't and then asked her if she was pressing the gas or the brake all of a sudden she took off and hit every wall till the end of that lap the ending was the best part when the employee flagged them to come in to park one girl drove straight at him and he had to jump over her cart she hit the wall behind him ricocheted off and kept going another female went into the parking area but never slowed down and drove straight into the already parked cart in front of her she hit it so hard that she had a big booger hanging out of her nose afterwards then the girl who ignored the employee flagging people in earlier finally came around again and the guy is waving the flag again at her and she almost forgot and at the last second turns into the parking area however she hits the median of the two lanes they had for the carts to park her cart is stuck in the concrete median with her front wheels still spinning this is not me making fun of special needs people at all but if you were watching this live you would have laughed your butt off too i was traveling through the south a few years ago and eating at a restaurant on the side of the highway in the afternoon as i turned around from the counter to walk to a table the car came crashing through sitting area because it was rolling flipping it landed on its wheels and two grossly overweight african-american women were sitting in the front seats i stood there in shock like everyone else for a few seconds as everything got quiet you could hear the driver yell out oh heck no i just got my hair did needless to say the two passengers were fine and no one got hurt in the restaurant but i laughed for hours because the two ladies were all upset about their hair luckily the restaurant was mostly empty a man walking down a street in nyc with only purple briefs on a three-foot long braid wrapped around his neck oh yeah he had a satchel was playing soccer my buddy and his brother were on opposing team i was advancing towards their net and my buddy came at me from left his brother on my right when they both got close to kick the ball away from me i stopped the ball they both missed the ball and kicked each other in the shins bodies collided heads collided with a loud thunk the way it all synchronized was so funny i couldn't continue running and just rolled on the floor laughing i thought it was over but then they both got mad at each other and started fist fighting i was laughing so hard watching it all unfold in front of me i though i'm going to pass out one of the funniest memories i have soccer where one man laughs while other men pummel one time i was stuck in traffic with my parents so i decided i'd make small talk by saying you know they say that white cars are most likely to be involved in a car accident than any other color car right as i said that three white cars got into an accident in the lane next to us note it wasn't a serious accident the last car bumped the car in front which bumped the car in front of that my best friend and i are obsessed with ghost hunting so we naturally went on the ghost tour that is offered in old town albuquerque nm we were the only two locals but there were about seven people from canada we get to this haunted window in a building that is now a restaurant however we failed to realize we were the only two people standing in front of the window only about a foot away as we listened to this ghost story we were staring into this window without realizing the restaurant was still open and bam a lady basically runs past the window we were so scared we were screaming at the top of our lungs i couldn't move and my best friend grabs me around the waist and tries to run off with me i'm five feet nine inches and she's five feet two it isn't until we finally get ourselves together that we look up and realize we scared one of the canadian guys so badly he had taken off running and was now a block and a half away the three of us looked really stupid but it's still one of my favorite memories go to love the runners back in high school we were all traipsing across the grounds to the exit gator 3 30. someone had forgotten to collect all of the balls from pe and they were just lying around on the path one girl was too busy talking to her friend and didn't realize they were on the path she stood on one and did that typical dancing on a ball thing like a show dog or a slapstick clown that was hilarious on its own but then when she had managed to extricate herself from the ball she stood on another one right in front of her i thought that crap only happened in the marx brothers it was a glorious day i was with my extended family at a local amusement park when i was 10 my uncle and i went on a boat ride where you drive the boat around a small track you could drive the boat freely but it had no throttle control it's a pretty boring ride unless you have someone like my uncle to ride with halfway through the ride he suddenly turned the boat completely sideways and blocked the track since the boats had no throttle control everyone bumped into ice and got stuck as well with a boat pile up holding up the ride the attendants came to help my uncle who started acting like he had special needs and couldn't understand what they were telling him to do every time they got him going straight again he would keep turning until it got stuck again the attendants tried to get me to tell him what to do and i did but my uncle would just do the opposite and kept turning sideways eventually the attendant jumped on the boat and steered it the rest of the way while my uncle just smiled at him right after we got out of the boat my uncle stopped the act and just said to the attendants thanks for the ride the combination of seeing my uncle act this way the frustration of the ride attendance and the embarrassment of my mom and aunt made it one of the best days i ever had at that place my uncle died of cancer six years later and i miss him terribly luckily he was always doing stuff like that so i have tons of great memories with him your uncle sounds like he was a great guy i am sorry for your lost colon i was in the third grade and i had done the most important thing in my short life by then by becoming friends with the popular girls the popular girls and i grew to be very close and would hang out all the time one day head popular girl summons us and says we're going behind the hills the other damsels hop along toward the hills together while i stay skeptically trudge along once there all the girls lie down on the grass behind the hills so they're not visible by the knocks that patrol recess and make you stand at the wall if you misbehave once they've all laid down i can't help but ask what are you guys doing and how popular girl responds with them we're having sex with our imaginary boyfriends i'll laugh uncomfortably and they actually proceed to have sex with air at eight years old just driving on the floor and not even knowing what they're doing and making sounds quite funny very uncomfortable this is beyond disturbing to me a group of us often went to my friend ian's house at lunchtime in high school every day we'd walk out of the school gates go to the spa get a pot noodle cup noodles i think in the states and a sliced loaf to share then we'd walk five minutes up the hill to his parents house generally we'd just use his kitchen making toast boiling the kettle for tea and the pot noodles then we'd settle in front of the tv eating drinking and watching whatever was on that day this was our ritual almost every lunch time for the latter part of our high school years one day though it was different sometimes my friend would forgo the pot noodle because he had been left food by his mum from his previous night's meal this day it was a plate of spaghetti bolognese as he brought it out of the microwave a delicious smell filled the kitchen we all looked longingly at his hearty italian lunch and then back out our dreary pot noodles most of us were resigned to our grey meal all except mark as we sat in the front room ian sat pride of place in his father's chair directly front of the tv with his large plate of bolognese on a coffee table the rest of us were spread out on the large sofa none of us had noticed mark disappear until he re-entered the sitting room with the pneumatic air rifle over his shoulder sometimes we'd shoot targets and stuff down the garden after lunch whilst smoking cigarettes outside so seeing the air rifle was nothing new casually mark walks over to aaron's bolognese points the barrel just inside bolognese at the edge of the plate iron's face is suddenly pale say hello to my little friend mark pulls the trigger in an instant the bolognese went from the plate to covering literally everything on the side of the roomy and was sitting pieces of delicious bag bowl are everywhere hanging off paintings all over the wall dripping over the radiator covering porcelain ornaments the side of the tv and also ian his white school shirt now stained red with italian tomatoes ian was so shocked he didn't say anything mark ii was shocked because he'd pumped up the pneumatic air rifle well beyond the recommended amount and was now looking at the result of a pellet less blast of air beating the bolognese and bolognese meeting the living room needless to say the rest of us were in immediate hysterics tears of laughter at mark rootlessly trying to clean up the mess ian raging at mark about his parents living room obviously we could never return to ian's after this incident sometimes we'd forget but then chuckle at the bolognese incident tldr boy turns into tony montana after being tortured by spaghetti bolognese i hope i can describe this to be as hilarious as it actually was after a night at the bars it was after two and i was waiting for my food order at jack in the box with all the other hungry drunk people a girl next to me obviously can't wait for her food so she takes out her iphone opens a packet of hot sauce and squeezes it onto her iphone like a plate and takes a huge lick she had no idea what she was doing and one of her friends had to pull the iphone out of her hand mid lick i still laugh uncontrollably when i think of the visual i was at a concert with a friend of mine and she had to go to the bathroom so i waited outside now the bathroom in this place is located by an escalator i looked over to this obviously very drunk women pee underneath of the escalator all i could think was wow but then as she proceeds to stand up she slips in her own pee and lands flats on her face in the pee i lost it best concert ever i couple summers ago i was driving through the city with all the windows down with my cousin for some reason i had the most intense loud sneeze of my life and a car four lanes away going the opposite direction screamed bless you out of his car as he drove by single mom at the beach with her i would estimate three-year-old son the kid is having a very good day playing in the sand all of sudden she gets a phone call and starts yelling at who i presume is the father has a fit and grabs the kid and starts telling him it is time to leave she is pulling him along by the arm and he getting dragged and she is yelling on the phone finally the kid lets go and he turns around to yell at him it is time to leave and to hurry up the kid standing there in his water wings sun hat and holding his yellow sand bucket shells at his mom i am a kid my legs aren't long enough i can't move that fast what do you expect everyone around just started cracking up that's actually really sad in high school me and my mates were stood in a circle just talking waiting for the teacher to turn up to let us inside this was after dinner break or lunch and hundreds of seagulls flocked to the playgrounds to scavenge food one of those seagulls shat on my mate's face my mate being quite hard read a bit of a jock few merkins shouted all right who freaking spat on me or freaking dead we were on the floor laughing and then the realization on his face when he knew it wasn't spit and in fact birdshite he actually said it's not spit is it with a grin on his face i still crack up now thinking about it a bird wants crap on me inside a bar while on a motorcycle trip across half the country my father and i witnessed the tail end of a possible road rage incident we were riding up the highway when one car passed a pickup and didn't think much of it about five minutes later we round a bend and there are both cars parked on the shoulder drivers in midfister cuffs as we passed i looked over and the fighters were so involved in their battle they forgot to take the terrain into account fell and rolled down a slightly steep hill together it wasn't until we stopped for a break about an hour later that my dad laughs and says oh and what the frick was that fight about anyway i had forgotten about it until then and all i saw in my mind was those two bozos tumbling down a hillside and kicking up a dust cloud freaking new mexico as someone who lives in that glorious place i have to say i almost had to get out of my car last christmas and kick some girl's butt while wearing reindeer footy pajamas i love this place if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: funniest thing ever, funniest things in the world, funniest things caught on camera, funniest things, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2021, people of reddit, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: Tb0ZCmBDAjE

Length: 26min 58sec (1618 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 26 2021