What Did Your Parents Catch You Doing? - (r/AskReddit)

like and subscribe right now or else this will be in your bed tonight our /oscar edit by planet reddit what is the most humiliating thing your parents found you doing I'll set the bar pretty high when I was 41 I went to visit my parents and had to take a [ __ ] for some reason when I sat on the familiar family throne I had the urge to jacket like a teenager I heard a sound above and just briefly cost a glimpse of my 70-plus dad's face disappearing from the skylight he was wrestling TL DR jackoff tales get worse with age this is brilliant your dad probably thought he had escaped catching you in situations sparing you both the humiliation then this happened at 41 this is the one there's a mysterious beauty to it as well I can't put my finger on the nostalgic memories of discovery in pubescence triggered by his childhood toy 'let the fleeting glimpse of a never judgmental father who reminds him of his shame literally and figuratively from above the religious connotations are there another relic of youth this would be perfect for a Louie episode my dad walked in on me squatting over the business end of a hairdryer I'd not long got out the shower and wanted to blast my Gooch with warms so there I was naked with my back to my bedroom door hovering over the hairdryer I didn't hear dad walk in due to the hairdryer he just yelled busted and walked out when I was about 9 or 10 I had just bought some Nickelodeon gak and was quite excited about it I played and played and played as a rather unusual child the remarkably brilliant idea came to put the GAC on my penis it was gooey and satisfying my mother walked in to see me laying on my bed with the GAC container empty and an incriminating look on my face she asked the GAC is in your pants isn't it I shamed fede nodded my head she slowly closed the door and never spoke of it again TL DR gak penis I love how she just knew maybe he's put all sorts of [ __ ] down his pants before the watermelons and your parents isn't it the cats in your pants isn't it she's in your pants isn't she when I was about five or six I was at her friend's house for the weekend and for some reason I got naked and jumped up and down on his parents bed my friend takes this camera which he says has no film in it and takes loads of pictures with the flash pretending it's some weird kind of photo shoot seriously ogre tweet anyway as it turns out the camera did have film in it and they didn't realize until the dad took it to get developed and got asked some very serious questions by the cops yeah didn't go to that friend's house anymore after that was your friend 30 and living with his parents he was making art this was when I was around 8 years old I went to bed and I'd always had the habit of going to the toilet in my sleep half sleep walking to the toilet taking a [ __ ] piss and moving back to bed with the very vaguest knowledge of what happened the next morning one night I did so as usual I got up went to the toilet sat down and started my business for some reason my mother came in after me and started shaking me I had no idea why so I just kept going I had to [ __ ] yeah no she then started pushing me towards a seat and was encouraging me to [ __ ] on the seat confused and half asleep I did so what the dark it's her problem getting fesses off the chair turns out I never originally made it to the toilet instead I took a [ __ ] in the middle of the carpeted hallway she was actually trying to guide me to the toilet not the most dignified moment of my life I was watching police academy when I was about 8 there is a scene at a beach party where there are a few naked breasts on show my mom walks in to catch me licking the TV screen where the bear breasts were this is much better than the masturbation stories more primal especially when you consider the nice tingly buzz he could have gotten a CRT screen that had been running for a few hours my boyfriend told me the most hilarious story the other day when he was a teenager he was hyper sexual like many teenage boys and girls I suppose anyway he used to get pleasure from unusual tactile sensations like lying naked in grass and things one day he was in his family games room and he decided to explore some of the sensory offerings in there he took a cushion from the couch and put his dong in it clearly this felt nice because he mounted the cushion against the side of the pool table and started to have his way with it all of a sudden his mother comes in the door which is on the opposite side of the pool table she asks what he's doing in there he tells her nothing and so she starts to have a deep and meaningful with him about how he's feeling about life and whether or not he's unhappy the whole time he has to stay there pressed up against the pool table with his coke in the pillow until she finishes the conversation and leaves the room oh thanks sweetie I've been meaning to fluff as pillows I think the pillow was fluffing him not me but my 15 year old sister I picked her up from someplace one day and we got talking about dong as in Richard who was someone who lives near us she couldn't figure out how Richard could be shortened to dong and she thought it was funny I told that if she thinks that's bad she should know what the short version of Sara's I told her it was done she had a hard time believing it I text my brother to get him in on it and long story short we had convinced her that dunt was short for Sara anyway nothing comes of this for weeks until she comes home from school one day in a bad mood she had got after-school detention for a week we asked her why and she says they had to do a presentation in class her and her friends Aoife and Sara Sara had passed on the speaking parts to my sister and she had said thanks dunt and she got detention for swearing she had to try and explain that she was stupid gullible enough to believe me that done was to Sarah what dong is to Richard she had also told her friends about this and they also believed her at least my sister took some convincing I worry about her sometimes this would go unnoticed in Australia Sanger Saddam cheers dumped regular ordinary primary school conversation countless times jacking it parents just got to the point they stopped opening doors period however my brother was caught jerking it on the family computer in the living room to gringo porn at like 3:30 in the afternoon expert mode hard mode I fortunately haven't had anything horribly humiliating happened to me but I do have a lovely story about my sister that embarrasses the heck out of her whenever it's told when she was about six years old she had a gigantic crush on Aaron Carter she named this body pillow we had in the house after him and said it was her boyfriend one day she heard me and a friend talking about sex God how did I know what that was at nine years old and asked what it was we told her it's when you lay down on the person you love and hunt them though I probably didn't use the word hump one day my mom and I walked into her room where she's furiously humping Aaron Carter mum gets this gigantic look of shock on her face and asks what she's doing and my sister replies having sex with my boyfriend my poor sister I will never let her forget that one suddenly I remember being dared to hunt the television and walk around my parents party making broad wanking gestures before I was old enough to know what it meant lordy the [ __ ] parents must witness that you don't remember doing childhood is a lot like being drunk you don't remember most of it and other people remind you of the [ __ ] you did when I was young me and my female friends used to play doctor which looking back involved some pretty disturbing things for five-year-old girls to be doing once we were having a sleepover and my mum walked into me stark naked with three fully clothed other girls around me inserting small paintbrushes into my vagina still to this day I have no idea what she thought holy [ __ ] the rumors about what happens at girls slumber parties are true if they stopped letting out just keep cool butters not my story but my friend does a pretty embarrassing story it was about middle school and he thought he was home alone he had just taken a shower and for some random reason had a boner he was a really weird kid and just for the heck of it he though it would be funny to walk around with a clothes hanger dangling from his erection as he is walking around the house like this it turns out his dad was home and walks around the corner so they are both staring at each other his dad doesn't say a word and all that he can get out of his mouth as I didn't think anyone was home I don't think they ever once discussed it I am good comlink Reynaldo conflicted I don't know why but I asked my mum why does my willy get hard when I see a pretty girl a kid I babysat proceeded to pull his pants off and proudly proclaim look rockin Phoenix when I touch it it gets hard why does it do that he was four ish probably still three about to turn four I didn't remember I just told him he shouldn't do that and to ask his mommy or daddy when they got back I gave him the heads-up they gave me an extra ten bucks I thought he named his penis of Brock and Phoenix before I saw your username sorry jerking off into a empty 2-liter bottle in the kitchen 14 years old and had a $50 bet that I could fill it in a year and did you Google calculator two liters equals 405 point seven six eight two seven two US teaspoons average [ __ ] [ __ ] one stroke two teaspoon equals to about 812 [ __ ] shots distributed throughout the year to two [ __ ] shots daily perfectly doable when I was six years old my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie and he was a very artistic girl she loved to color and draw everything she saw one day I was playing starfox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Danny was watching of course be - absorbed in the game I never turned around to see her greatest work of art my mom walks in the room to check on us and as a gust to end all gasps Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it it was starfox doing a barrel roll except she made it with a load of diarrhea she scooped out of her pants masturbating to Princess Jasmine from Aladdin there I said it ahoo only you a world don't you dare close your eyes in the 8th grade my friends and I had a bunch of videos of ourselves going stupid things on one of them I figured out that I could lay on the ground roll backwards and have my knees touch the ground behind my ears my dad was looking through the camera for family videos when he found this one he looked at me and said I know what you were trying to do I was baffled what are you talking about you were trying to suck your own penis that really wasn't why what no I said exactly like Mark Wahlberg in the happening because I realized that my dad had found the best explanation for what was going on on-screen and I had no way to convince him otherwise do you still talk into your brother's ass or was it a one-time thing haha I'm proud to say it was just a one-time thing how did you decide who the microphone wasn't who the singer was well she never did find out but one time I was furiously masturbating at around the age of 14 you the days where you'd rub it out for an hour teetering on the edge anyway I decided that this was the homerun and I'd finally finished the session right as I get that blissful warm clarity just before orgasm in walks man with the laundry chatting away about sin a relevant ducking story pants are down the speakers are quietly on porn in full screen needless to say that one second I had to react seemed to last forever what do i do first speakers off-screen off pants up tissues to catch the load i scooted my chair under the table solving the pants down issue for the moment and I quickly tabbed out to a YouTube video I had prepared for post bat entertainment and hit play effectively drowning out the poor happy ending you say no for the next 15 seconds I had the most intense throbbing orgasm shooting load after load all over myself all the while trying to hold a conversation and fake interest in another one of my mum's work stories I'd love to say she does killed my orgasm but it was still awesome and that might be the most disturbing part I had a deep mind-blowing orgasm to my mum's voice TL DR had an intense throbbing orgasm made conversation with my mum secretly shooting loads all over myself under the table this is very interesting you know the days where you'd rub it out for an hour teetering on the edge those days should rarely never start not me but two of my friends who were brothers were caught blowing air from a bicycle pump into their ass then one of them farted for about 40 seconds straight and proceeded to [ __ ] all over the carpet it was not one of his most dignified moments totally not you know it was a friend of a friend his little brother that lives next to my aunt you know not me when I was about 12 my brothers and I used to borrow my parents camcorder to make terrible home films one night after using the camera for day and donging around with my siblings for some reason I had an overwhelming urge to record myself a ping or attempting to as the case may be lo and behold a couple of days later mother decides to show a family friend some videos she took of her darlings playing in school concerts and the like plugging in the camcorder to the VHS or whatever I was too young to work it out and it's all using computers nowadays duck you she fast forwards through our crap films and tries to get to the concert footage after about a minute and a half of me standing up on stage squeaking away of my little violin the footage cut to black only to be replaced with me violently whacking it camera placed on the foot of my bed making eye contact with the camera the entire time no facial expressions whatsoever I never received a lecture about use of the camera or replacing the tape inside it my parents have never mentioned it to me or anyone else all I knew then was that one day we were allowed to use the camera and the next we weren't now when I look back at it I shudder edit holy responds Batman and yeah I guess you all knew where this was going from the start that is exactly where I thought it was going now I'm just intrigued as to where he thought we thought it was going I was at my grandmother's wedding when I was six years old she was getting married for the second time and the church we were in was completely packed keep in mind this is a church in rural Alabama which makes this that much funnier I was sitting in the front row with my parents and sister who was 16 at the time my sister turns to me and tells me that it is respectful to hold up both of your middle fingers when the bride and groom kiss so being the loving grandson I am I find this as a perfect and simple way to show my respect for the new marriage so I wait and right when she leans in to kiss the groom I thrust my arms up in the air in a packed Church flipping off my grandmother and her new husband I hear several gasps and old women saying oh my I look around with this big ducking grin on my face as if I'm doing this great service to humanity I look at my sister and she is hunched over with a beat red-faced laughing uncontrollably my mom finally notices what I'm doing grabs my arms with the grip of a professional wrestler and pulls them down she starts cursing at me and asking me what the hell I'm doing I tell her what my sister told me and she gave my sister a death glare that would make most men [ __ ] their pants after the ceremony she pulled her aside and gave her a few choice words she then told me what it really meant and I felt horrible I was so ashamed and embarrassed I think about it now and can't help but laugh my sister was a master troll TL DR I flipped with my grandmother during her wedding in a packed church my dad walked in on me when I was 10 - 11 years old humping a pillow in my room while singing jingle bells back in 2004 having just returned from Iraq my wife and I celebrated by heading to Jamaica Hino 3 we have the atypical fun down there and head back to our hometown to spend a week with family before heading back to Alaska where we were stationed on my deployments to Iraq I had gotten a fat re-enlistment bonus that I spent an over-the-top voodoo pc/laptop I was very excited to show off my laptop when we got to my mom's house and I hooked it up to her TV to show my pictures from Iraq and our vacation well my dumpers hadn't broken the pics into good vacation and bad vacation pics so here we are my wife and her parents and my mom and I sitting around this fifty-plus and big screen when all of a sudden a nice shot of my wife's vagina pops up in 50-inch Technicolor oh god I panicked started trying to click through the pics each got progressively worse it was about the time when my junk was in her mouth and she was looking up at me that I yanked the cable from the TV the only sound to be heard was my tea exhale and the sobbing of my wife next to me yeah my mom being full of class brings that up every time we are in town hey cold have been worse could have been pictures of someone else's this is a good one one evening when my parents were out I cracked my father's toy box a locked cupboard beside the bed where he kept his porn in all the toys he used uses with my mother don't even ask it took me years to process this discovery dildos vibrators pumps for varying body parts anal plugs anything and of course the porn which I was after so when I was around 14-15 I used to open this cupboard on a pretty regular basis by taking off the whole upper part with various tools to avoid the front lock my father never had a clue because I was very thorough and leaving no trace of evidence to get to the porn underneath I had to go through the toys so I placed them very careful on my parents bed in the order I got the mouse so I could put them back as they were I got to the magazines eventually carefully passing the Polaroids my parents took of themselves when they were in their 20s immediate a deal breaker once you catch a glimpse of your mom sucking coke and started exercising my beloved craft in my own room of course when I was done my cat was waiting for me with the usual Momo food food let me out into the garden routine I did her bidding like a good can opener and distracted by this noticed it was already time for the Simpsons I carelessly started watching TV completely forgetting the state I left my parents bedroom in an hour later my parents came home I was still watching TV when I heard my father screaming wart the duck from upstairs that was the moment it dawned on me my mom went to see what was going on and came back laughing her ass off I didn't see my father that evening and I didn't look him into the eyes the rest of the week my mother actually offered me to ask for things if I was ever in need again to this day she thinks I was using her dildos and I can't bring myself to clear this up with my parents sir my mother might take the idea into the grave with her that her son yes I'm male think I should have mentioned this earlier used her toys for masturbation the end row you just made me feel a lot better about coming across the one massager and bottle of Lube that my parents had in a cupboard by their bed if it makes you feel any better I once came across Polaroids of my grandmother having sex and sucking dong funny how we have to realize that our family is made up of just plain old people with the same desires as everyone else also when my dad found out I had borrowed some of his porno tapes he told me just to keep them he'd rather me take care of my own business than get knocked up oh dear so ducking awkward you seriously made me feel so much better and less weird I was in my room jack unit sitting on a chair I heard the door open and tried to pull my underwear up but only got halfway the front of my underwear was up to my waist but my ass was bare sitting on the chair she sees this and instead of moping out if the room stands there and asks why I am still awake and why my pants are half way down I gave her some story about how I was getting undressed until she rudely came in she had to know what was really going on but I don't know why she stuck around asking those questions she wasn't usually a troll MA and she didn't seem to be getting a kick out of this just genuinely concerned with why I was sitting bare acid in a chair in the middle of the night potentially the one case where the parent really didn't know oblivious suburban mom thanks for watching subscribe for 3 videos a day [Music]

Channel: Ask Planet

Views: 7,185

Rating: 4.9139786 out of 5

Keywords: ask reddit, reddit top posts, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit cringe, reddit, updoot reddit, best reddit posts, funny reddit, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit funny, askreddit, reddit and chill, tz reddit, reddit watchers, r/askreddit, reddit best, reddit compilation, askreddit top posts, askreddit stories, funny reddit stories, askreddit reading, askreddit scary, funny askreddit, askreddit stupid, askreddit question, reddit on tap

Id: 12sDpcj70iM

Length: 22min 51sec (1371 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 20 2020