Lawyers, What's Your Best "Gotcha Moment" In Court? (r/AskReddit | Reddit Stories)

lawyers of Reddit what was the best gotcha moment you ever experienced I acted for a plumber who ripped up a tile floor to replace a pipe he installed new tile on top that warned the owners not to walk on it for 48 hours he emphasized not to let their kids or their dogs walk on it either they walked on it but alleged the defects were caused by improper install we had an expert do a report which confirmed that it was consistent with proper installation but people walking on it too soon crazy homeowners still went to trial on it in their evidence disclosure they included a series of pictures one of the pictures had in the foreground a tile that was tilted upwards the background very clearly showed that dogs for pressing down on the other end of the tile that wasn't so much and I got them situation as they got themselves tell this story a few years back but everything old is new again my brother is a divorce attorney his most memorable case he was representing a guy in a divorce custody battle who was accused of horrific child abuse very graphic very detailed depositions from the young kids against daddy things look grim then my brother notices the deposition transcript done by social workers under oath contains a question at the end from one of the kids did I hit my marks my brother had previously tried to make it as an actor in Hollywood right out of high school failing miserably and decided to go into law an altogether different form of acting dirt he wonders how little kids know about acting jargon subpoena is the wife's personal checking account during discovery sure enough acting lessons the poses an extremely sketchy acting coach and panic coach quickly coughs up DVDs of practice interrogations with the kids hours of coaching the kids on exactly what imaginary things to say about daddy he says it was his one and only Perry Mason moment in 20 plus years of practice and dad got sole custody of the kids had a client accused of leading the cops on a high-speed chase the cop on the stand estimated he was going 90 miles per hour but never actually clocked him then the cop identified where the chase started with me and where it ended it lasted about two miles then we went through his log of when it started and when it ended about three and a half minutes once you walk through the math on that the average speed of this chase was 35 miles per hour client got acquitted really quickly after that I was suing a landlord who failed to make serious repairs in order to force the tenant out the hard part is proving bad intent instead of mere idiocy so you get higher damages code enforcement was involved so I request Bo's records the landlord left a voicemail to the enforcement department saying to hold off on the fines they will make the repairs as soon as the tenant is forced out that was an easy case some crap like this happened to my dad landlord refused to make repairs washer was busted garbage disposal was leaking and forced floorboards to warp my dad moved and wanted his deposit they won't give it to him he took them to court he took pictures before he left and kept all texts from them they walked themselves into a corner with everything they said my dad was prepared for every claim eventually the judge told my dad he could fight it until the end and get his whole deposit or the landlord could give most of it now and it would be over he took the deal because he didn't have the time for court in the look of anger and defeat on the landlord's face was too satisfying it's three years later in the repair still haven't been made in the apartment I was representing mom in a bitter custody fight dad wanted full custody and argued mom was an unfit parent mum wanted full custody because da got a history of domestic violence towards her and the kids dad's lawyer was doing a good job of painting her in a bad light during his cross-examination and I was starting to get worried his lawyer brought a close family friend as a character witness for dad who said the usual nice things about dad then he said something about him owning chickens I thought that was odd so I asked more questions I was able to get the friend to spill the beans that the dad owned chickens for illegal CCK fighting and he'd take his minor children to these CCK fights and when the children were acting up he'd punish them by forcing them to feed the chickens during which they would get pecked and scratched by the chickens and obviously the children were terrified at those chickens I could see the color draining from dad's lawyers face mum got full custody someone told me this the lawyer was describing the theft double-quote the footprints make it seem as though he didn't go to the basement and the defendant said double-quote actually we did this is so petty I've had much bigger moments but because of the character of the other side this will always be my favorite doing a boundary dispute a squabble over what was essentially a few inches of land Wes was a lawyer and an absolute [ __ ] he was acting for himself the whole er lawyer works for himself has a fool for a client thing was bang on for him but he was a deeply unpleasant guy a bully who thought that he was the smartest guy in the room part of his case hinge on wheelie bins and how prior to the boundary having been moved there wasn't space to store a full-size bin beside the house the fact he now could mint clearly the boundary must have moved that was the extent of his evidence it really was thin stuff during the actual trial he pulled the first one by suddenly producing an old aerial photo ostensibly to show the boundary at the front of the property had also moved a fast one because you have to disclose stuff like that in advance you can't just sit on something relevant and then suddenly whip it out a trial with a flourish whilst he was making his submissions that it should be admissible I looked more closely at it away from the bit of a boundary he said it was relevance to and realize that it very clearly showed a hui-bin in exactly the spot his case said there couldn't be one tailed the judge we were happy for the photo be admitted after all got the other side to confirm the data was taken then pointed out he'd just completely fact his case that photo did him for nearly 50 K in adverse costs couldn't happen to a more deserving chapter I was supposing a guy in a large breach of contract fraud action I asked him if he'd ever been convicted of a crime he said no later in the DEP I asked him the question again and there was no objection and he answered no I then whipped out his indictment for felony fraud and his conviction for misdemeanor conspiracy and he denied it was him until I started asking about his co-conspirator his son and then he gave me ver oh yeah I remember something about that my brother is an attorney he had a case where the guy said he was permanently disabled from a work accident at a deposition my brother overheard the guy talking about getting his house remodeled he was already spending the money he thought he was getting my brother drove by the house to see how much work was being done and saw the guy carrying bundles of roofing shingles up a ladder to the roof this was before smart phone so he drove to a Best Buy and bought a video camera went back and recorded the guy he had copies made and sent to the other attorney the guy dropped the suit and was back at work the following Monday my brother's client didn't want to pay for the video camera he saved them thousands of dollars they eventually paid but he still gets a little peeper when he talks about it the first case I ever did opposing counsel misplaced the copy of my clients driver's license rather than admitting his mistake and asking me to resend it he filed a motion to compel claiming we never sent it while I was able to provide proof that we'd sent it to him eight months ago so the judge was rather displeased with his antics when I was a prosecutor I had a guy who was representing himself he was charged with car theft and evading he was actually able to escape the cops for quite a distance and was captured later his defense was that he wasn't the person I got his calls from jail and he talked so much to his girlfriend about how he had committed the crimes the look on his face when I told him that I was providing him copies of his jail calls was great edit I remember an even funnier thing I had another guy who was representing himself it was a residential burglary and one of the elderly neighbors saw the defendant running from the house and trial the defendant was cross-examining the witness and he asked double-quote now when you saw this person running away and the witness said double-quote you i saw you running away in a protective order hearing a respondent admitted on cross that he choked his partner his attorney looked like his head was going to explode the judge still only granted an order not to abuse he wouldn't grant the stairway or any other relief we asked for go figure plaintiff alleged he was so injured in an auto accident that he couldn't work do any regular activities will pick up his young kids he then posted on his public FB profile him doing the ice bucket challenge if you are not familiar he basically lifted a huge cooler filled with ice water over his head his attorney had no idea he had posted it once heard about a man who got a doctor to do him a report for his compo claim can't bend can't lit can't run et Cie problem was he had a paternity suit on going at the same time got the same doctor to write a report for that case no restrictions on mobility can pick up the kid play with him et Cie as you can guess he and the doctor got caught my clients house burned down from an explosion in the fuel oil tank used to heat the house it was clearly the oil maintenance company's fault but his homeowners insurance from a very reputable company still refused to pay out citing a ridiculous technicality in his policy essentially the policy cover damage caused by the oil heater but they claimed that it was the storage tank that exploded and wasn't part of what was covered so they deny his claim which was about 1/2 million and then I get involved during a deposition with the claims adjuster I asked how she came to the conclusion that the storage tank was not apart or at least connected to the heater she states that she relied on her expert witness who was an engineer little did she know I had already checked this person's background he had zero engineering experience or education as most of you might know who don't get attorneys fees in most cases however when an insurance company denies your claim in bad faith now you do her little admission cost the company about 500k in fees on top of the original claim for 1/2 million obligatory not a lawyer but my grandparents had the longest running divorce settlement in LA history in the 70s my grandpa refused to pay his alimony one year he went to Hawaii and sent my grandma postcard that says something along the lines but more wittingly double quote I'm enjoying all of your alimony money look at what I'm doing with it he drove it straight to her lawyer and it was game over for Gramps edit 1 the divorce was about five years long it was the longest divorce in their city at a time I'm sure it isn't anymore my only full trial contracts are ripping off my client who was no saint I went through entire contract where each sub was listed and he agreed to each line as being part of contracts he agreed that amount was to be paid to the subs he agreed to the total what he failed to do was list any profit my last question was where as your profit in this contract no answer from him as written he was working for free case dismissed by judge without me having to present my side I was trying to get a restraining order for a woman and DV course from her son's father we are presenting testimony and she details a story where he grabbed her arm and slammed it on the top breaking her wrist on cross I asked the accused if he ever broke my clients wrist on purpose his response FAQ um I did she was nine months pregnant about to smoke crack and wouldn't stop I tried to grab her arm to get the pipe and protect my unborn son fack me she left that detail out in her conversations with me my client was a woman working at a meatpacking plant her glove they would only give her the loose kind because they were cheaper got caught in the machine and she lost her arm we sued the owners of the plant for the glove issue we also sued the machine manufacturer for failing to include the required guard then we sued the distributor for being in the chain of the sound but didn't really think they play much of a role the manufacturer swore they included a hand guard and said the plant owner must have used a grinder to take it off during a deposition of the guy that owned the distraction company he shows up with the sale documents he was supposed to have turned over weeks before turns out there was a note in small print at the bottom he didn't know about that said the sale was without the hand guard which is against the law I pointed it out and we ended up settling that afternoon with the distributor the woman got all her medical bills paid got money for a prosthetic and got a bunch of pain and suffering damages represented an employer in an FMLA retaliation claim the plaintiff had quit claiming a hostile work environment then went on and started her own company that more or less competed with my clients in the plaintiffs deposition the plaintiff went on and on about how sick she was when she went on FMLA leave and how horribly she was treated by my client her new company had a Facebook page I asked her about it and had printed out several sections from the page including photos she admitted she had posted the photos and mariza posted them from her phone moments after they were taken after I had those admissions on the record I produced pictures of her touring the facility where her new business was located smiling and walking with her friends the date of those photos was while she was on FMLA leave from my client never posted this before ex wife ex Comet trying to fight ex-husband's new girlfriend ng dot ng is in our car trying to flee while ex is beating on car blocking escape and grabbing at door handles to get in but doors are locked after X briefly moved out from the path of the car ng begins to drive away slowly ex noticing the car starting to leave dives onto the hood of the car . . slides off gets run over a slow speed and breaks bones several surgeries later ex susan g alleging negligence and hitting ex with the car as i'm deposing ex she claims to have never touched the car before it hit her never punched or kicked the car never broke the windshield wipers never grabbed the door handle to try to open the door never devon the hood just yelling I asked what ng was doing during this time and X describes ngo's deer in headlights staring straight ahead locked in her car both hands on the steering wheel double-quote how did you know the doors were locked that one got dismissed pretty quickly hit it videotaped deposition to made sure that one was recorded lady got into a minor fender bender with a truck in a casino parking lot she backed out of a spot into him my guy said she parked and went inside the casino for a few hours at her deposition she testified that she was so hurt she went right home into a hospital I asked if she was a frequent visitor of casino and if she had a rewards card she was happy to tell me she did and she had gold status and showed me the card i subpoenaed her rewards cards records and it showed she was playing slots four hours after the accident my client was being sued in China we decided to sue them in u.s. to convince the Chinese judge to dismiss the case so it can be heard in the US we filed suit and we got the other side to accept service during the chinese court hearing the opposition wanted have the chinese court hear the case but chinese lawyers got shut down because they signed for the service in the US implying that the u.s. causes the proper jurisdiction and venue edit the opposing chinese lawyers were fired the next day not a lawyer but a legal videographer this gentleman was claiming injuries seeking damages against his employer after a fall at work he claimed he couldn't raise his right arm above his shoulder because of the fall first deposition comes along and I am hired by defendants attorney to videotaped deposition of the plaintiff anyone know the first thing a court reporter asks you to do in a deposition double-quote please raise your right hand and repeat after me plaintiff raises his right arm above his shoulder with ease and no sign of discomfort does not occur to him what he has just done both attorneys were looking down at their notes when this happened in neither of Court is the plaintiff himself didn't catch it the court reporter looked at him and then looked at me and her eyes went wide with realization at what just happened four hours of deposition proceeded wherein the plaintiff is instructed multiple times to show his range of motion and precedes to pretend like he can't raise his arm above shoulder level which he did at the very beginning of his deposition deposition ends plaintiff's counsel leaves I call defense hiring party counsel over and show him the first two minutes of tape counsel excitedly whispers to me double quote case closed you just saved us tens of thousands of dollars I got a $5 zero-zero-zero bonus and plaintiff's case was dismissed with prejudice not a lawyer but involved in fraud investigations called a suspect who was allegedly using the money he was being provided as guardian for an incapable individual I explained the allegation he stated double-quote yeah they're correct I took the lump sum and bought cocaine and booze understand it was wrong do what you've got a serve I'll sign a statement or come in the office if you need me to not really dealing with higher-level criminals here my buddies divorce lawyer withheld all of the proof of infidelity and other stuff one glossy air of messages history dumped through some app provided to my buddy by the guy who was banging his wife after my buddy found out who he was until the last part of the negotiations then dropped the bomb that they had proof of her doing all of this insanity including fabricating la Paix story when she got caught cheating she also got her uncle a DA involved with that story the family was stunned and her parents were in the room when it happened she was also being represented by her cousin he was very much a daddy's little girl type and of course her parents never thought she could be in the wrong meanwhile their daughter is a serial cheater drug addict buying pain killers on Silk Road habitual liar and overall horrid person my buddy walked away from that divorce for basically lawyers fees and the cost of health insurance for her for one year not my story but amends owes he worked in personal injury and accidents the accident was between two very expensive cars his clients being new and the opposing sides being a vintage collectible the case was only in regards to damages and what each side owed each other the opposing side tried to claim the paint damage on the front where there was the collision claiming that the cost of the paint job was no longer made and had to be custom-made mixed and applied especially and made a big deal over paint my mentor had the keen eyesight and pointed out if the painter was damaged where were the paint chips as they were missing it not on the ground or embedded in his clients obviously contrasting car this was brought up in cross and was met whether dumbfounded look and quiet this more a huge hole in the credibility of the opposing counsel and eventually led to the very expensive case going in his favor i sat in on a criminal trial and the defense basically had no defense other than there were documents lying around with the name Jack Smith and our clients name is John Smith so there might have been someone else living in the house hiding the drugs in the very last minute of closing arguments the prosecutor stood up and said and really tired of you spending all week pretending you don't know who Jack is when you know very well your trial binders which have been sat on your desk all week say Jack Smith because that's what he goes by as a Rey teen year old computer store owner I had a guy sue me because his computer was a lemon well he chose to represent himself to which the judge said only an idiot would represent himself begged the guy to postpone and get a lawyer No so the guy rambled for 20 minutes and made himself look like a complete redneck [ __ ] who just didn't know how to use computer so then it was my turn my lawyer stood up and said some legal phrase to the effect of the plaintiff failed to ask for any damages therefore we ask for summary dismissal gravel bang granted in our claims if I told you that you needed an attorney I was prosecuting a traffic ticket and ended my opening statement with something similar to by the end of the day you'll agree that the officer caught the defendant going sixty five and a fifty cross trophy defendant representing himself stands up and says while he may have clocked me going sixty five and a 50 ' judge stopped the trial excused the jury and was like you just confessed Sulu are we changing your plea to no contest or what ' edit this is Texas where you have a state constitutional right to a jury trial on literally anything my grandpa has told me this story at least 100 times but it's always entertaining he was jury foreman for murder trial in a small town in Tennessee two guys got in an argument at a bar with the victim the two guys drove home got a rifle came back and shot the guy in the head months later while on trial the two guys are getting hammered by evidence and eyewitness testimony these guys were idiots and left a huge trail of evidence while the trial is about to wrap up with them going down for murder the prosecutor brings in the final nail in the coffin a surprise witness who happened to be the guy they had supposedly murdered those two idiots had shot and killed the wrong person who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time wearing the wrong clothes [Music]

Channel: Reddit Tales

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Id: qQsM5XlYAWg

Length: 25min 7sec (1507 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 18 2019