People FINALLY UNDERSTAND Why Their SO Was DIVORCED (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit people of ready to married divorcees at what point did you realize there might be a reason the other person divorced them my husband had an engagement that ended before we met and the reasons always seemed weird to make something about her trying to get rid of their dog and getting into a huge fight with his mom when she made a snarky comment about the dog thing and then getting her mom and sister to call and Harris's mom about the fights big ridiculous arguments that ended with them deciding they weren't going to work out they'd been together for like four years now I completely get it well not the part with her mom and sister but the rest of it the dog was awful peed everywhere was very dominant and aggressive like biting slash drawing blood aggressive at times and old enough that he was very difficult to train since they hadn't done [ __ ] about it when he was a puppy the dog now lives with my mother-in-law because it's not safe to have him in a home with babies and my mother-in-law is a [ __ ] nightmare but my husband and his ex saw her multiple times a week whereas we see her once every couple of months at one point about a year and we had a big argument where I told him we were heading down the same path ISM if he didn't get his [ __ ] together and that if you have the same problems with two long-term relationships in a row you need to consider that you're part of the problem and that I was out if he didn't said serious boundaries with his mom and get some training for the dog fortunately it was apparently a wake-up call because that was seven years ago and neither is an issue I'm a divorcee who dated a divorcee he got shit-faced drunk on his day and told me I see why your husband left you right after I'd given him a 250 dollar watch he'd been wanting I eventually left because a I realized he was a rebound that had lasted while a too long and B he was going to eventually kill someone with his drinking and driving and I really didn't want it to be me edit yes I got the watch back and returned it I understand that two hundred and fifty dollars might not be a lot for a watch but at that time 250 dollars was a lot for me I wasn't making that much and was living off student loans I basically saved extra dollar sign dollar signs from my paychecks until I could afford it edit - I posted this when I was still groggy from sleep I apologize for not including context it was my ex-boyfriends birthday he was the guy I dated after divorcing husband we had planned to go to a strip of bars I figured we should get a new bar so we don't have to bum a ride at that point I was trying to keep him from drinking and driving as much as possible yes I had reported him to the cops on two other occasions but I didn't know his license plate number and as far as I know they never caught him to be honest I was still hurting from the divorce and was clinging to what I subconsciously knew was a bad situation either way I we you but to the bars and met up with friends he got very drunk I asked the bartender's to cut him off but he just got other people to buy him drinks so closing time comes around and he tells me he wants to get food with his friend his friend who is driving his only slight more sober than bf I tell bf no way and try to get him to yubi I tell him we can order food and just be comfy at home he's not going for it I finally tell him that I legitimately do not feel safe getting into a car with that guy it's at this point that he starts yelling at me telling me that I'm killing his bus I'm ruining his birthday and that he sees why my husband left me it hurt a lot he wound up getting in the car with his friend and leaving me there I was in a popular area so it wasn't hard to find a friend to pick me up the next morning he claimed he didn't remember I dumped his ass and asked for the watch back whoa okay story time so my mom just got divorced from my dad my senior year of high school she has always been the kind of person to be in a relationship so she started immediately day around since my dad cheated on my mom multiple times she met this guy on POF who we are going to call Tom tom was a successful marketing guy with no kids a steady income and was divorced because his wife cheated on him early in the relationship my mom gets a message from Tom's ex-girlfriend current boyfriend she says that she needs to tell her some things about Tom but my mom ignores her a year goes by and Tom seems normal she moves in with him and so do we since he has two spare bedrooms he's a cool guy who seems chill and really nice he'll sometimes go through my mom's phone she told me that she thought that all the good things outweighed the bad cut to election day where things aren't going so well for my mom and Tom since they are both liberal they drink and Tom throws a remote at the window he calls the police on himself my mom forgives him this is where things start to get weird Tom starts acting crazier towards my mom mostly via text message on Christmas Day she decides that we don't want to go to his sister's house because she's drunk we opened the trunk to his car to get the presents out and he drives away with stuff flying out the back he apologizes my mom is suing for weari at this point cut to new years where tom is out of town she texts him that she wants to break up with him because he's saying that it's my autistic brothers fault that the carpet on the stairs is falling apart he says get your [ __ ] kids out of my house so the next day we have 8 people come over to move the furniture that's my mom's while he threatens us over the phone that was in January over the next few months and still to this day he sends crazy threatening messages to my mom he also found out where we live so he could take the shared BMW that they owned jointly insulate even though my mom has been begging him to take it she finally gets in contact with the lady's boyfriend at the beginning of the story they share stories and she apologizes for not listening sooner when we had a kid my husband has always been a workaholic it didn't cause too many problems when it was just us but was a lot harder to manage once we became parents it's easy to feel like you are doing all of the work and I started resenting my husband my husband and his ex-wife had two kids close in age she was essentially a single parent to them throughout the day he did cut back his house slightly when our relationship started to suffer and even that was a lot I understood why the divorce happened I considered it at points during the relationship edit what is with the ridiculous assumptions I never said I was a stay-at-home mom I was also working we were very ready for our son we were in our 40s when we adopted him he was planned wanted and we could easily afford to have a child even with cutting his hours we were still able to afford the high-rise in Manhattan he didn't have to work as much as he did he just didn't know any different I wasn't taking my husband's paycheck and we didn't have a child we couldn't afford you make one comment on Reddit and everyone thinks they know your life ridiculous I also feel the need to add that I never said I would have preferred my husband to be addicted to drugs or alcohol all I said was that it was hard on our marriage and I understood the reason behind the divorce before having a kid I didn't understand what the big deal was when I was coming home after a long day of work to take care of our son by myself I understood well I'm a bit late to this but boy can I answer it just got out of a four-year relationship with a last two years we had been living together he was very honest about being divorced and still getting over it when we met his reasons for the divorce were basically that as soon as they got married she acted like a different person and never wanted to have sex with him wouldn't even have sex with him on their wedding night then even though he was the one who was so unhappy and neglected she's the one that filed for divorce then she cleaned him out came by their house with all of his friend and took everything they owned this is the story I was told and I fully believed it I thought she was such a [ __ ] cut to us living together I went through some health problems that killed my sex drive and made sex absolutely excruciating for me are 2 to 10 times a day nope not an exaggeration sometimes even more screeched to a halt he was not at all understanding and I ended up giving in and just having sex with him most days even though it was so painful sometimes I would cry of course that was my fault too apparently crying isn't sexy and really makes his bonus sad so doing that for months really damaged my idea of six and I still haven't completely recovered mentally in that aspect it was at this point I started to realize that maybe she wasn't just refusing sex for no reason maybe it was the fact that he doesn't care to please the woman or even care if she's crying from pain he just wants to get off at least once a day and it's not his fault he has such a high sex drive he could go cheat so I should be happy to please him then we have the part where he claims he was the unhappy one that she filed for divorce who the hell files for divorce if they are satisfied with the marriage it couldn't possibly be his tendency to constantly be unhappy and blame it on her or his mental and emotional abuse it couldn't be the fact that even his mother warned me not to let him abuse me it couldn't be his claims that he does all the work in life in the relationship and that she does nothing while he sleeps his days away leaves dirty underwear and clothes strewn around for guests to step over leaves dishes to sit and rot doesn't take care of his body doesn't make an effort sexually or emotionally or romantically then we have the part where she cleaned him out when she left when our left he offered to pay me for all the work I did on his house I invested countless hours weeks months into fixing up his house he completely neglected I removed old peeling wallpaper fixed walls painted install new light fixtures put on new cab hardware throughout bought very expensive backsplash tile did some extreme landscaping projects the list goes on and on I said I wanted $1,000 he insisted on $3,000 $3,000 truly is a fair number doesn't even account for the labor aspect of things which I of course would never want to be paid for I also left him behind dishes silverware rugs towels and sheets curtains things like that then what did he tell everyone that I cleaned him out I took everything and also took his money never mind the fact that I had to buy a new house while he sat and didn't have to change anything because of the break-up I had to live with friends for over a month because he wanted me and my son out of his house within a week of the breakup and changed the locks so I couldn't get my things or pack or see my dogs anyways never again will I date a man who is willing to trash his ex he also said nice things about her but he's such a convincing person that I didn't think he wouldn't be telling the truth he has tons of friends and respect from people in our town as he coaches athletes myself being one of them people are incapable of seeing how [ __ ] psychotic years his friends are nice normal people he preaches constantly about how others are living their lives wrong and how he only surrounds himself with quality people which he does have quality friends they are just in a constant rotation because eventually his ego gets in the way [ __ ] I wish he would change I had my wife cheat on me ended up meeting someone who was perfect and just thought I had hit the Karma jackpot she liked literally all the same things as me when I asked about her past I'd hear stories of what sounded like abuse but it was always implied like I was so scared I thought he was going to hit me then one night she went mental on me started getting mad about me wanting to visit my daughter who was in the hospital she wanted to go on a date instead started throwing glass at me and it was like rain when to get away and she came after me and clawed the crap out of the back of my neck then yanked me backwards by my collar where I ended up on top of her I pushed her away and just got out she called and started threatening me since I had hit her in falling on earth my options were come back to the house or she would call the cops and report me for abuse I hung up on her and called the cops instead by the time the cops showed up she had bruises on her neck she self-inflicted them to claim I had done it just hadn't called the cops yet my hands showed no signs of aggressive force plus the back of my neck earned her a trip to prison it was at that point I realized how duped I was I knew she was the reason for her previous divorce I think this question implies any divorced person is flawed that isn't fair if you ever dated and broke up with someone you are in the same exact boat divorced just often get messy because there is legal follow up little different I guess my widowed mom started dating a guy in her Sunday school class who was recently divorced very quiet but nice her friends in the class told her that he was never home always hunting or at work but that he was a nice man warning her but not scaring her off he and mom got married still very quiet but again nice turns out he was just depressed his wife of 25 years had been cheating on him with the same guy for at least half that time he worked all the time all went on hunting trips with friends as he just didn't want to be at home mom told him that it was too bad he couldn't retire so they could just enjoy their time together he was 50 mom was 53 he said he could retire and did so they spent the next 20 plus years having a great time travelled extensively just enjoying each other's company they had a great marriage before he passed away missed by all of us sometimes the divorce is 100% the fault of one party just because you divorce doesn't mean you were a failure well I didn't marry him but my ex-boyfriend was divorced and he made it seem like his ex-wife was a total [ __ ] he said that he gave everything to her even quit his job to move to Georgia with her they both previously lived in Minnesota he said he had paid for all of her bills and Mac hoop and clothes and even paid for couples trips and she took a different guy with her on a lot of them leaving her husband behind the marriage ended when she went on a trip to New Orleans with her friends and didn't come back about a couple weeks into our relationship he began to get extremely possessive over me I figured it was because he had been through so much [ __ ] with his last relationship so I tried to overlook some of it but it got so intense that he printed out a list of rules that I was to obey which I obviously refused to accept I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without telling him he had to have visual evidence of my work schedule it was ridiculous so logically I broke up with him but he was relentless he kept showing up at my house and work and it was just embarrassing finally I threatened to get a restraining order and he left me alone a few months later I get a faster book message from this random woman who is asking me if I'm okay I'm like yeah why like who are you yeah no it turns out that she was the crazy ex-wife except that they were never really married they were dating for a bit and when she refused to let him pay her rent he bought the house from the owner and would not accept her rent money he bought a lot of trip tickets and used his key to go into her slash his house to put them on her coffee table she never went on any of the trips she moved but he found her apartment and would leave love letters in her mailbox he threatened her friends on Facebook forbidding them from stealing her from him finally she got her own restraining order and moved far away so yeah this still creeps me out because sometimes I get a feeling that he's stalking me but I know it's probably just paranoia my xbf had been married previously and his wife commits suicide when I met him I assumed his late wife must have had a lot of problems with depression or something and didn't think he had any impact on her decision at all it took me a year and eight months to leave him he was emotionally in verbally abusive he became angry easily he would make hurtful jokes and then say I was being too sensitive and that he's just a blunt person so deal with it now I know a person suicide cannot be entirely due to someone else because it is ultimately that person's decision but in that year and eight months I realized it's feasible she ended her life because of his emotional issues impacting their relationship I realize now that I began dating him with the idea I could save him some introspection and reading has helped me get over my savior complex save yourself edit for those asking the art of letting go the path to inner freedom is a good book on overcoming codependent behaviors also just looking for info on codependent behaviors brings up a wealth of resources on Google I am still struggling with being codependent but overcoming it is a daily practice not necessarily accurate and it's gone thing edit - Wow I got gold this is my first gilded comment Thanks my ex never acknowledged his behavior and always blamed me so it means so much just to know that other people can relate and to know that I wasn't just overreacting also I'm at work so I can't respond this quickly to everyone as I'd like this is second hand but it's a good one about a year after I signed the divorce papers divorced my ex wife for cheating on me I met the guy she'd cheated on me with I actually didn't know him by sight but apparently he'd seen a few pictures of me like the ones in my bedroom he walked up to me introduced himself and then started apologizing for being the one to break up my marriage I was pretty much over it by then but I was still pissed off enough to say something like yeah well man it wasn't like you were the only guy she was cheating on me with I'm pretty sure she was with a dude named Brian the whole time she was with you he got real quiet apologized again and then left a few weeks later someone told me that he had moved out and was in the process of divorcing her I'll never know for sure if it was my telling him about the other other man that was the tipping point for him but I like to think it was edit yes there was a Brian not his real name although it hardly matters I knew about Brian from a friend and plus she'd admitted that there had been others besides the guy I confronted her about why he felt the need to apologize I have no idea seemed like a nice enough guy aside from the sleeping with another man's wife thing did I do it for revenge not really it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing mostly a knee-jerk response to an emotional situation sometimes you get to say the perfect cutting remark sometimes you think of it in the parking lot after the opportunity is lost I got lucky and didn't say something like aw that's okay man and regret it for the rest of my life I used to feel sorry about it because it might have broken up a marriage but if that marriage wasn't built on trust to begin with then chances are the infidelity was going to happen anyway or again if you look at it that way obligatory not me but my divorced aunt and uncle my mom's brother married my ex are despite everyone telling them it was a bad idea they moved to the East Coast and had two kids both on the autistic spectrum this is relevance their daughter is the oldest and higher functioning but her little brother is nonverbal my uncle was a stay-at-home dad while my ex aunt worked eventually she divorces him and kicks him out of the house at this point she had both kids my uncle is convinced that he's the only one who can properly take care of his son and wants to fight for custody having been unemployed for so long he can only find shitty retail work that doesn't pay a livable wage he sleeps on a friend's couch for a long time but they eventually give him a deadline to move out so he's in a pretty pitiable situation my mom is pretty worried about her brother and her nephew so my dad suggests that we help out my dad has a well-paying stable job and one of my sister's was at college so we had an extra room plus I could share with my other sister to make more room for his son we could definitely afford to support him for a few months while he finds a better job and gets custody of his son holy [ __ ] this guy this [ __ ] guy literally every sound he makes his ear splitting talking whispering sneezing spitting out his [ __ ] toothpaste imagine being woken up by a car tarnished patooie from across the house this guy has zero self awareness actually no he was aware he was just aware of all the wrong things he could tell he was putting a strain on our lives but instead of listening to how we needed him to help he would help in his own ways he would do our laundry despite us telling him not to he destroyed several items of clothing that didn't belong in the dryer my sister once asked him to carry over a bucket of water for our chickens should have taken him one minute 10 minutes later he comes back to her with no bucket asking her to move her car so he could use our truck to drive the water over this is a grown able-bodied man and then there's his parenting he had his son for visitation while he negotiated custody his ex-wife only wanted custody to spite him she didn't actually want to take care of him I don't know how this kid doesn't have diabetes yet we were the only ones enforcing a healthy diet and not just Pete saw run crescent rolls for this kid and it was a hassle this is a two-year-old in a 10 year olds body he had frequent accidents but my uncle wouldn't clean them up properly leaving both of their rooms smelling like human piss there's so much more but the absolute worst Finglas that those few months became two years instead of looking for a better job he does have a degree and experience so it wasn't impossible he got another retail job and refused to leave because he was friends with the boss never mind that it would never pay enough to support him and his son he couldn't burn such a valuable bridge so even after getting custody of his son he continued to leech off of us it broke my heart to see my mother slowly lose respect for her brother eventually my parents had enough and gave him a couple months to get out he still doesn't have his own house he moved into another family owned property so he could keep his low-paying job his ex-wife might have been crazy but any sane person would have divorced him my ex of about two iShares was in the process of a divorce when we met his wife was crazy and the reason for everything wrong in his life this should have been my first clue to GTFO but i was young hey-ya live and learn he had kids and I would go to sporting events for them and his ex-wife would be there the vast majority of the time too we started to get along and he hated that I didn't get that well don't it be easier for the kids if her and I had a good relationship oh no we would compare notes on him and it would ruin our relationship we quite literally never talked about it my eyes started to open here I was using his computer once and his Google Calendar opened and there was an event on Valentine's Day the next week which he had told me we were not doing anything for due to money which of course was his ex's fault so I opened it okay shouldn't have been snooping and the event was de ex-girlfriend broke my heart now this ex of his was prior to his 20-year relationship with his now ex-wife so I figured out that he never let anything go apparently ever a couple months later our relationship was staring to decline on its own he went over to a friend's house without me in the middle of a planned date night and I didn't care that he left I was mad he took the dog though we got in a fight and he told me I was starting to sound like his ex-wife to which I responded if we are saying the same exact things and are such different people don't you think the issue is you I realized at that exact mo that he was a narcissistic [ __ ] who was never going to change or grow up I moved out a week later I still miss the dog TL DR a million little things finally connected in my mind and I realized he was narcissistic and manipulative seven years later and I would still love to sit down with his ex-wife and hear her side of the story edit I just feel I need to clarify that I was not friends with his ex-wife we were friendly and were cordial to each other we only ever made small talk and conversed about the kids and my ex-boyfriend was always present during our conversations he was just stewing over the fact that we didn't hate each other that said I miss the kids too but I admittedly missed the dog more thank you so much for watching the whole video please leave a like and subscribe

Channel: Slime King

Views: 8,301

Rating: 4.7846155 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms

Id: yya2rWnX31E

Length: 27min 28sec (1648 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 24 2019