Parents, Why Didn't You Let Your KIDS Friend SLEEPOVER? (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit parents have read it what was a legit reason why you didn't let your son / daughter have that friend over / go to a sleepover my youngest son had a friend who was very perverted to put it lightly around my youngest daughter he'd stopped by during the day my son and friend would play video games in the basement and the friend would make a dozen trips upstairs I didn't mind or really take notice beside just being odd he'd step away from a game so much then one day I'm walking down the hallway and he's in her bedroom smelling the sheets I think yep you're done edit a few details for the comments the boy world been around 13 to 14 and dorset 12 he didn't come back to the house for a long time until after they're graduated HS last year he has a girlfriend and seems to have cooled it on the per staff but I still kept my eye on him my son and the boy had different interests in high school so they kind of parted ways when I saw what he was doing I told him it's time to go home I talked to his dad shortly after he had his pants up I talked to my daughter after that and a few years later just to make sure he had said a few things to her but she insisted he never touched her I didn't tell her why the Sheetz incidents when I told my wife who can be hot-tempered she was in the car headed down there to kick some ass she didn't care whose acid was either I can't her down and we decided to keep an eye out for a while as a parent I never had to make this decision my child and I had coded responses with each other I knew from my own experience that these situations can be very tough and your school friends sometimes try to pressure to do things you don't want to do especially if they have their own agenda basically if my child said may I go do this I knew she really wanted to and felt comfortable so my answer was yes unless we had family stuff to do if she said can I I knew she felt uncomfortable or pressured into asking so I would have her back and say no I always trusted my child first and gave her the power to communicate learn to trust her own gut and be confident we made up codes between the two of us for her entire growing up it worked so well during her teenage years if she was uncomfortable at a party or situation she would text me a certain phrase and I knew she wanted me to call her with a reason to leave we also never had curfews each event was different we would talk about it and decide together what time she would be home now as a grownup she has thanked me a lot and said this was one of the best things I did for her growing up she always felt like we were in it together we were and she is turning out to be an amazing person this was a very rewarding part of being a parent I only allows me papers with close family and friends due to my childhood but assuming that was not the case the girl next door asked for a sleepover she was maybe eight and my daughter was six this was about six months ago the first time the girl came over to play she told me to put my mcore in his cage where he belongs because birds should be in cages and she didn't like him I told her she could go back outside if she didn't want to be near him but I would not lock him up she also informed me that she was going to need me to make her dinner right now because she was hungry it was not even 4 p.m. and she had not been invited for dinner she was extremely demanding and disrespectful she complained about the snack I gave her even when the girls went to play outside she made my daughter cry three times in maybe 40 minutes this was the first and only time she was allowed to play with my daughter when I told her it was time for her to go home she asked to spend the night I told her now then she informed me that her parents who I have never met had already said my daughter could spend the night with her I again said no she demanded to know why and I told her that I would have had to know her family personally for several years before I would entrust my daughter with them I left out the part where she was extremely disrespectful for and obviously had no discipline and had never been told no in her life not that had made a difference but my daughter is high-functioning autistic so if something were to happen that she did not have the emotional or verbal skills to tell me about I would never know I have told the girl know every time since that she asked to play with my daughter not her parent but my sister is nine years younger than me wouldn't accept her ex-boyfriend not being toxic and the whole defensive acts and Big Brother's do I just didn't like the guy he was super emo and I could just see some light in my sister going out he was really possessive of her and whispering like [ __ ] worm tongue in her ear all the time weird stuff now not like whispering secret little jokes but whispering conversations I assumed they were mocking me or my family I ended up making a demand that he not be in the house if I was home not something I have ever dreamt of doing before Orson's turned out he was whispering super dark [ __ ] about suicide self-harm as Wella subtly belittling and completely emotionally blackmailing her she broke down and told my mom all about it thankfully they then broke up but he hung around trying to contact her for ages he be telling her that if she didn't go back to him that he'd hurt himself et Cie etc took a while but it fizzled out she was back to herself in no time thanks to the jaysis fast forward 10 years I'm on an R&D shift i assess some poor girl who has addiction and mental health problems she'd had a few suicide attempts in the last year lo and behold who's her boyfriend the same scrawny little bollocks he refused to acknowledge my existence when I assessed her he just sat there looking at her and grinned not smiling but bloody grinning the whole time two different friends with moms that smoked meth one in fifth grade and one in six they actually both lived with us at one point or another the kid in fifth grade was a nice guy a little hyper and kind of mischievous but had a really good heart when you take him home environment into account he ended up staying with us for a week when his mom lost the house they lived in I think after that he went to live with a relative I didn't see him again until we were adults and he just happened to come into my work he's a bodybuilder now my mom stopped letting me go over to his place long before he came to stay with us though apparently one time his mom just straight-up asked my mom if she wanted to smoke some meth with her which she declined and quickly got us the [ __ ] out of there the kid in sixth grade was introduced to me through a mutual friend I came home from a weekend at his place and told my mom about my time over there she asked me a bunch of follow-up questions ending with digit smell like they have cats I told her yes and she asks but they don't have any cats do they and I said no I didn't see any she gave me a solemn look and said that I wasn't allowed to go there anymore that he was allowed to stay over here after a few years of us being friends his mother dropped him off at my place one night with no warning he and I didn't know what was going on but I know now that his mom had a heart-to-heart with mine saying that she knew she was going to be arrested soon and that our house was the safest possible place for her son as my mom was the only person she was even acquainted with that wasn't a drug addict this kid and I had become extremely close over the years and my mom loves him very much so without blinking she agreed to take custody of him so he became my adopted brother sort of flash-forwards a CPS agent as it our door with a custody release form she tells my mom that my friend slash brothers dad has been cleared to take custody my friend wants to live with his dad more than anything so my mom tearfully gives up custody I see him at school a week later and he tells me he's been put in a foster home he was never going to his dad's at all it took years for him to believe that CPS had deceived my mother into giving up custody and that we didn't just give him away it makes me to cry thinking about him feeling like we abandoned him he graduated high school in the foster care system and joined the Marines I haven't seen him in six years I miss my brother I did not encourage friendships with cruel children the rule for sleepovers was they had to be independent at night by which I mean were no longer coming to our room in the middle of the night for a bad dream or for cattles or whatever no midnight wandering they needed to have a degree of emotional independence children I discouraged friendships with a very spoiled and bad mannered little rich boy so indulged under terror no thanks he wasn't bad he was just badly behaved beyond little boy hijinks a cruel boy lured he was not nice and it wasn't his fault his mom was horrid you could literally watch over the years how her combination of enabling bad behavior excusing it ignoring and then dismissing it just kept snowballing it was like watching someone grow a bully a very controlling and disruptive child I noticed that behavior would influence my children's and the oldest would be me mirroring his friends behavior my husband and I discussed it and I talked it over with some friends for perspective and then I had a talk with their mother and put the blame on my children not all children mesh well my breaking point with that child was that he tossed our house and left for their I don't know seventh visit in a row after shrieking at my younger child that they were run wanted don't make my child feel unwanted in their own home I'm not having it I understand that young the children are not always wanted around older children but there is a line and they are allowed to exist in their own home but that is only three out of many nice friendships I never did this without a lot of thinking and soul-searching early 90s the kids on the street decided to have a campout in someone's front yard little fire ghost stories s'mores tents the whole bit middle of the night one of the kids starts screaming that someone is on him turns out another kid there just moved him had stripped down naked and Smit [ __ ] all over himself and attempted to do something to a sleeping kid parents all came out after hearing the screaming poop kid sucker dump in the street and threw some at the parents of yet another kid again it was the early nineties in the Midwest so this display didn't go well the parents went crazy I never saw the poop King again and his family moved away I no longer allowed my son's best friend to come to our place or for him to go over to his after the best friend's mom reported us to the police as harboring a runaway this was after the best friend had been tossed out of his mom's house and told to spend the night sleeping outside and she'd refused our phone calls to find out what was going on so yes I wasn't going to let a 16 year old spend the night in 30-degree weather with nowhere to go sue me the cops showed up said she'd reported us as harboring a runaway we explained what was happening and got treated like dirt and told that from now on we had to have full permission from the mom fine we urged my son's friend to go to the police report to them what was happening and left it to that the mom tried to apologize three days later as being off her meds and say it was ok for my son to go to their house and vice versa and I politely refused and hung up while she was screaming at me I'd always been kind of uncomfortable with the woman and they're just sealed it they were still friends at school but there were no more hanging out at either one's house and I explained why and they both agreed to the rules the son is in the military now and doing quite well and no longer has contact with his mother gee I wonder why my son started public school after going to Montessori School in fourth grade I met another mom whose son started from private school the same year my son was weird about the friending her son and I wasn't sure why shortly into the friendship the single mom started asking if a kid could sleep over every Friday I was fine with that then it became school nights not so fond of that her son started showing up at 6:30 a.m. before school when we were all still sleeping my son made other friends and just tolerated friendship with her kid we explained that his home life wasn't great and he didn't have anyone most of the time halfway through the following school year the kid brought a knife to school and pulled it on my son the school did nothing Baltimore so I contacted her to let her know what happened her response was that he was such a goof my son was rightfully avoiding him at this point and the mom had the audacity to contact me and ask if we could watch her son for half a school week because she really wanted to go on spring break out of state with friends she is in her late thirties getting a PhD in psychology I had to tell her she and her kid were never going to be invited again she was a chronic liar my daughter met her in kindergarten she lied constantly about everything one day my daughter asked us to help her put together a birthday card and make a homemade present for her friend's birthday but when she brought the gifts to school it turned out the girl had lied about what day her birthday was I didn't want to put down my daughter's first good friend but I refused to have them spend more time together than was necessary I was relieved when she started ending every story about something her friend had said with it's probably not true though she outgrew that friend after a few months met the girl's parents later in the year that poor kid never had a chance edit i sholde realized I left some next time on Dragon Balls there type SH is at the end of my last comments the parents were concerned with themselves they were divorced and the mum was living with her new boyfriend I got into a conversation with the mother during after-school pick up parents let the kids run around on the playground with friends so there's some time to kill anyway first half hour into our first encounter she goes into several major scandals between her and her ex-husband and /or boyfriend some of it pretty sexual in nature one thing she always said was can you believe he'd do X horrible thing to my daughter regardless of whether the daughter had being involved I got the vibe from them that their daughter was a porn and that their home life was chaotic the ex-husband had face tats a record and he asked an elementary school teacher if he could bring beer to field day the field day thing happened much later long after my daughter stopped hanging out w the other girl sometimes when I think my life is chaotic or messy I think of them I know the band kid he would break [ __ ] hide from you hit the dogs and he'd be rude and physically abusive to my grandmother he'd pinch her fall it orally no reason and probably little kid punched her a few times he would scream for no reason and no matter what you did for punishment he'd ignore it my mom physically threw him and all his toys out of our house one day after he hit a couple dogs and pinched my grandmother in quick succession and he just stood outside and fake cried telling us to let him back in we live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors or traffic he wasn't in any danger and if he actually thought about it he cold found his way back in I think like an hour of peace went by and she finally let him back in stories from school include walking out of class and into another and then beating a kid up holding a girl down by her ponytail and wailing on her attempting to stab a kid with scissors and being such a handful a teacher tried to get him moved to a special-needs school he was five when all of that was going on he six now and medicated with therapy and doing insanely better his mom is moving cross-country with him to be with her family so they can help look after him he was banned from a lot of school events and didn't have many friends but that's turning around now kid was on serious medication for major behavioral issues the kid sibling was the favorite parents would dump said unwanted kid at our house without medication because it was good to take a break from antipsychotics I say unwanted kid because he'd come over on an empty stomach and left for hours after the promised pick up time while they took the other kid out to eat and shop they also didn't OfficeMax slaw drinks and eventually banned reciprocal visits it sucks that the parents with shitty kid tried to commit suicide at one point and was institutionalized where wonder of wonders not taking a weekend break from medication left him much more stable headed to answer this happened about 10 years ago CPS got involved after the kid was institutionalized and things got better for him at least the ban on reciprocal visits happened after there were some strong words about their parenting decisions having kids doesn't fix relationship problems when I was a kid my house was like a soup kitchen kids who had shitty home lives around my neighborhood would come over and hang out my dad didn't care if they were at the house as long as they followed the rules some kids would push back on the rules my parents don't care if I do this my dad would always say okay fine you can go home and deuces then he would hand the kid the phone and tell him to have his parents come get him I never saw any of the kids actually call home they would just tow the line looking back I just thought my dad was weird but now I realize he was actively pulling kids out of bad situations and offering them an alternative to their crappy home lives I remember one particular month we planned a trip to a theme park and had four or five random neighbor kids come with us kind of redefined my understanding of the old saying that it takes a village to raise a kid one of our friends has a granddaughter who was treated horribly by her parents they ignored her and just locked her in her room when she was young it wasn't that bad when she came over she would act out from time to time but she was just so happy to be somewhere else and you could tell it made us feel wonderful that we could provide that and we did so often we tried to basically make our house a second home for her however as she got older she started acting out more and more it reached the point when she was seven that she was stealing money from our child's cookie Bank she got into my wife's purse and stole money we then caught her stealing toys to take home with her she would would run around saying [ __ ] you [ __ ] Jesus and all sorts different ways to say [ __ ] we'd take them to park and she would get intellectual fists throwing fights with other kids these sort of things started happening every time she was over it went from we feel so great that we can give her a break from her troubled home life - sorry but she can't come over anymore and we felt awful but she had turned into a leech all terror and nothing we tried would get our out of it the turning point was when she smacked our youngest across the head with wooden toy and he needed to get stitches we tried to get CPS involved but they basically said as long as she's going to school getting fed and not being physically or sexually abused there is nothing we can do last I heard she is in prison for assault and drug charges my daughter is not allowed to stay at a house and I can only come two hours during the day but never overnights we allowed her to stay the night there one time last year in the stories that came back from a single night were completely unacceptable here are a few the Dead has a room that no one is allowed to go in not even the mall when he is going into it or coming out of it he knocks on the door and everyone has to look in the other direction the windows of that room are even blocked out with black trash bags a said she has seen the inside of the room before and there is just a couch a TV under xbox1 I don't care my daughter is never going to go there the dad also apparently has lots of friends that visit it all through the night most friends never actually came in the house none of them knocked on the front door the dad would either get a message or just know they were there and hang out with them for a little while by their backdoor in the morning before I picked my daughter up her and a were outside playing with the dogs my daughter is well-mannered and when A's dad asked her if she had put her breakfast plate away she answer yes sir well apparently what he heard was yes sergeant and it royally pissed him off he started screaming a day that her friends are disrespectful and my daughter wasn't allowed back in his house he then referred to himself in third person as sergeant for the rest of the day and I'm told it was until way after my daughter was gone I told my daughter at school that it had all been straightened out and her dad felt bad about the misunderstanding and wants her to come stay the night again and we'll take them four-wheeler riding in the woods as an apology one they don't have four-wheelers so how is this even possible - no [ __ ] way is my daughter going out in the woods with this guy if you are wondering no he did not let my daughter back in the house I had to pack up her things for her which her dad watched her do to make sure she wasn't taking anything of this when I got there they were sitting outside I had no idea why nor did I think anything of it till I got the previously-mentioned story also what was packed up for my daughter as her stuff was not all of her stuff and we had to make a run to the store later for a toothbrush and her shampoo she also didn't get any of her dirty clothes back and they insisted at school that she couldn't find anything else of my daughter's at their house me I would not fit in my daughter's clothes nor would her mother so my daughter's new size zero' jeans small shirt small exercise bra and panties somehow just vanished the mom also did not speak the whole night she just watched TV and would get up to get something for her husband or make him dinner but she didn't speak to a of my daughter and she also did not make them dinner they had some popcorn and made their own breakfast in the morning these girls were 16 at the time I wish my daughter would have called me to say things were a bit odd I would have come to get her sooner since this incident we now have a code message because she said she didn't know what to say even if she did call me so now if something is amiss and she is uncomfortable she is to call or message me asking when her next door the dentist appointment is it lets me think of the reason she has to be picked up and she does not have to feel awkward or in any way disrespectful I have also told her it is perfectly acceptable to just say she wants to go home but I also understand where that can escalate an already bad situation she can't stay the night at our house because when they stayed at our house her dad would call her randomly even at 4:00 a.m. she missed the call once around 12:30 a.m. and immediately called him back he was already in his car driving to our house to get her because she didn't answer and I had to listen to a teenager talk her own dad out of a screaming rage it was disgusting and I'm not going to have that around my daughter I have not stated as much to my daughter but I'm perfectly happy that her and a do not hang out anymore I'm the kid in this story when I was growing up there was a girl that lived across the street about a year younger than me I'm a guy which plays a role in a bit her parents were addicted to I believe meth I one day as a kid saw her dad on the roof of his house grilling hamburgers while doing push-ups yeah anyways after that my mom would not let me stay at this girl's house although she would still stay the night at mine however as we got older my mom stopped letting her stay at our house also because she was afraid we might start having sex and she was especially afraid the girl might use sex / pregnancy with me as a way to get out of her home situation that's the reason my mom gave to me anyways when I was an adult obviously sadly the girl's life never really improved when we got to high school she started dating this older guy who apparently doesn't know how to yield on left-turn and she died in the resulting crash years later now that I'm older and can look back on it the whole situation makes me really sad she never even made it to 16 completely disrespectful to our home after multiple times telling them not to my daughter is 6 she's 12 we live in the same complex she'd constantly leave trash all outside on our stairs inside our couch floor to where the baby can get mcubed / paint all over our carpets she didn't care last and final / she invited a kid we didn't know to stay with her - I felt bad because the girl was younger until it was 1:00 a.m. and they were blasting music yelling and dancing we live on the second floor told them to go to bed 730 an same exact thing she started coming over first thing in the morning staying until late at night I told her if she was hungry she had to go home and eaten come back two doors down as we didn't have enough food to feed everyone my husband has been out of work and we are really struggling she wouldn't whatever snacks we had for our three kids were gone in a day come to find out she wasn't allowed at home while her mum was at work because her 24y obf was at home and she's getting boobs so she didn't need to be home alone with him so much wrong with that statement but true just last week the mom sent her to another state for a bit my daughter misses her but it's been nice not having my place full of kids she'd bring friends all the time all day every single day and eating all the food we don't have not the parent but the sister my brother had a girlfriend in high school his first ever real girlfriend and my mom did not like her all three of us went to the same high school together and this girl glommed on to me a super sweet buddy-buddy BFFs when she got with my brother but my mom didn't trust the girl she didn't like the girl and her dismay and apprehensions mounted the longer my brother knew her we are only talking about a couple of weeks to a few months but it culminated in my brother hanging out at her house to visit her for dinner one evening and then declaring he wasn't coming home that he was going to stay there for the night and apparently her parents were backing him up on this on the phone my mum wasn't having that she stuffed me in the car and peeled out of the driveway it wasn't just my brother being defiant he'd done that before something felt really off about this to her we got to the apartment complex where the family lived and I helped her locate the apartment I was in the car because I had been there before I in no way wanted to be part of the situation whatsoever nonetheless I go up to the door and knock because we figure he will come out and talk to me he does come out he talks my mom talks the girlfriend comes out and starts screaming at this point I've locked myself in the car and rolled up the windows because I don't want to be any part of this I remember her parents standing on the balcony and yelling down at my mom and my brother below we qualified for Jerry Springer at that point it was all beyond ridiculous eventually my mom got my brother back in the car she made me sit in the backseat so he could sit in the front seat and I remember arguing about the fact I should get to sit in the front seat because I wasn't the one who had caused all the problems at night ha ha ha oh Jesus well she got him in the front seat and put me in the back and gave him a reaming from six ways to Sunday all the way home I don't know specifics I just remember her saying things like it doesn't add up and there's something wrong here and this just isn't right parents don't cosign their teenage daughter doing that and back the guy up in defiance to his parents when his parents said no that there was something wrong with these people there was something wrong with these people 7 - 1/2 to 8 months later the girl gave birth to a baby she was pregnant she knew she was pregnant and she wanted my brother to think he was the father he and she had never had sex that was going to be their night her parents were abetting her in the ruse for a couple of years after that when my brother wanted to do something stupid all my mom had to do was look at him and say that girl's name out loud her name wasn't Miranda but let's say it was she would just look at my brother and say Miranda then he would instantly stop pursuing whatever stupid thing he was trying to talk his way into getting to do I talked to my brother recently and apparently Miranda went around school for the rest of the school year at least until the baby came I guess telling everyone that I was a lesbian and she had a lust affair with me or something I have no idea the news never got back to me but apparently my brother knew all about it and he said everyone in the school was talking about it it did explain some weird things people said to me that I never made the connection at the time not that what she said matters to me today especially since I never knew about it at the time so there's a story of a parent pulling their son out of an extremely toxic situation she had bad feelings about thank you so much for watching the entire video I would be so grateful if you could like this video and subscribe to the channel new videos every day

Channel: Slime King

Views: 13,088

Rating: 4.8671589 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms

Id: Y2pPCCmNRao

Length: 31min 49sec (1909 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 02 2019