What CRAZY Thing Did You Learn About Your Spouse AFTER The Wedding!? (r/AskReddit Top Posts)

married people have read it what's one thing you didn't learn about your spouse until after your wedding day that the whole mr. nice guy mr. sweet kind generous compassionate thing was a mask and act a disguise and camouflage in order to lure me in in order to possess and control me then after we got married the mask came off I was too naive to recognize the red flags beforehand and fell into the trap he faked being exactly the type of person that I wanted him to be it was devastating to discover that the person I fell for never actually existed thank goodness I escaped he was a true horror underneath you're my wife you have to sleep apnea machines are really annoying to sleep beside he'd never been to a funeral it didn't come up until we had to attend one and he had questions we waited 10 years before we tied the knot October 1st of this year I learned that she is even more beautiful than I thought I still can't believe how lucky I am most of her family used to hate me and her mom even asked her why she settled for me when we were dating due to people treating me like that my whole life I had some really bad depression and anxiety issues that is until I met her just like a movie it was love at first sight we still waited before officially dating but we were both head-over-heels in love she peeled back my emotional armor as easy as pulling the curtains and read me like a book she says I'm the most wholesome person she has ever met and that's why she loves me at the same time she is the most genuine person I have ever met and that's why I love her we've been madly in love with each other since the beginning and after we got married the most amazing thing happened absolutely nothing we have not changed at all we both still look at each other the same way in Google and flirt with each other like we are a couple of teenagers we're in our 30s we've always heard that things change when you get married and it's not for the better they were so wrong it all depends on how much effort you put into the relationship I guarantee you that we will be that old couple wearing the same ugly shirt and holding hands that you sometimes see in the mall I can only hope that you all find what we have I'm rooting for you be patient be honest be forgiving most everything really we were only together for three months before we got married it's been 10 years and I can't imagine life without her my husband and I dated for three years before we got married after more than a year of marriage he let slip that he is lactose-intolerant he knew that I absolutely loved ice cream and we would frequently get ice cream on our dates but he never wanted me to know about the lactose intolerance so that I could be happy with my ice cream my mum's first husband thought married women were basically property and treated women in general like after they had married glad to see the first husband part there she's a great swimmer one day after we'd be married for about seven years we joined a gym with a swimming pool she challenged me to a race okay I thought I'm a pretty good swimmer I was surprised when she offered me a half-length head start and then doubly surprised when despite my massive head start she beat me easily apparently she used to be a competition swimmer at school she's basically half dolphin but she'd never happened to mention it before she has so many investment inherited properties like worth around $5 mil she's always leaving the lids on everything unscrewed and guess who is always breaking jars because he always picks everything thing up using the lid my wife can't whistle and she's never had a sloppy joe that my husband's anxiety is as bad as my own it's actually refreshing because we know exactly how to help each other out when the other ones anxiety gets bad not me but my mom she found out that my dad already had a kid when they got married not me but my mom found out decades later my dad was married when he married her so yeah my dad's a bigamist my wife is allergic to all artificial sweeteners during the second night of our honeymoon we decided to stay in and get some takeout my beverage of choice at the time was Crystal Light raspberry ice which contains a sparked a while we were eating she wasn't thinking and she asked for a sip about five minutes later she became extremely ill and started having issues breathing after a few minutes she read the ingredients on my beverage and yelled at me I am allergic to aspartame me being the loving new husband I am yelled back since when you never told me that she never bothered to tell me because she grew up in a household with no artificial sweeteners because she was allergic his addiction to cars I never knew how much he really enjoyed until after we got married also his obsessions with speed and how he wants his cars to go faster and faster I used to feel that way until I hit 145 miles per hour on a very empty straight Arizona Highway and felt the front end of my car start lifting up off the ground as the front end seemed very light on traction I have never gone very fast after that I was completely cured of it just how much she really loves Christmas we lived together before we were married and it wasn't that bad but the moment we said I do it changed now she starts the Christmas train in October I'm talking the tree garland and god damn michael buble when I asked her about this she said oh were married now so you have to like this to purely joking but damn she liked to poop with the door open man my wife is the opposite I will be sitting down for less time than it takes to get the seat to stop feeling cold and she'll just walk in and start brushing her teeth like I'm invisible I'm like WTF you used to knock and she'll speak through frothy mouthed toothpaste that was before we were married then spit out her too paste and leave the door open when she leaves he absolutely cannot be trusted with desserts in the house back when we were engaged he'd give me time to eat my half of the ice cream or Oreo package or whatever we had on hand now I'm sitting here eating Thin Mints from a stash from under frozen veggies in our outside freezer how much I love her it keeps getting better that she actually wouldn't do anything about her mental health issues the flare-ups were just far enough apart to think things were getting better then no we had kids not too long after getting married so there was the element of staying for the kids staying for the warped belief she could get better nearly 14 years I've been a full-time single dad for three years now life is great on the other side of divorce and my kids are thriving and happy for whatever it's worth it's not anyone's fault to have mental illness I'm oh but doing something about it is their responsibility we were both on the same page in a newspaper it was found a couple years after we were married my wife cannot read an analog watch clock for time married for years being together seven years total and somehow that came up only a month ago when I asked for the time off a watch during a power outage I don't give her a hard time about it but that was a fun fact to learn that he lives and breathes sports I knew he liked sports when we were dating but I didn't realize that's all he liked I didn't know he would rather watch football games on Sundays than go to family dinners or anywhere else I didn't realize he wouldn't want to watch anything but sports on TV I didn't know that he would want to play or watch basketball football baseball golf every waking moment I didn't know he would prefer sports to sex I was gobsmacked she makes PB&J sandwiches by mixing the PB&J in a separate Bowl before spreading it on the bread pure savagery of all the responses in this thread this is the one that made me say what the my husband loves telling this story he is a big meat and potatoes guy on our honeymoon I told him that I was becoming vegetarian it was something I'd been thinking about for a while and couldn't implement well while living with my parents when we got back from vacation we fell into a routine where I did all the cooking turns out that he is lazier about cooking than he likes eating meat also it turns out I'm a pretty good vegetarian cook he now eats vegetarian whenever we're at home and gets meat at restaurants when he goes out with his friends he's totally happy with it truly it has been ten years he's the best unless asked specifically to do something around the house wife won't do it with rare exceptions like she doesn't get mad when L ask her to clean or do dishes or anything she just doesn't think about it my wife hates lime-flavored things she is fine with lemon though she leaves a few seconds on the microwave there's only so many times a guy can ask her to press the Clear button it's even the same as the stop button just press it twice I wouldn't be surprised if she tortured animals as child she's a savage my husband completely undresses from the waist down to go number two he says he needs the freedom my wife informed me that she could not have children after we got married this made me sad being able to prove her wrong made me happy I'm glad it sounds like this story has a happy ending but it is superfood buff that your wife didn't tell you that till after the wedding that he can't put back where it goes ever and oh yeah he shot a guy once that probably makes you apprehensive to call him out about things like putting back where it goes for instance I'm happily divorced now almost 12 years now that I do the math but after we got married I learned that she viewed her money is her money and my money is our money which was interesting because before we got married my money was our money and she didn't have money to speaker not that I was even making good money but after we got married she got a well-paying job and suddenly her money was hers and mine wasn't mine it didn't last long after that she changed a whole lot after the wedding from wanting kids to not from hating her parents in the way they treated other people to siding with him her mom was a nurse who constantly talked about patients negatively and her dad was an entitled business owner who tried to run people off the road constantly awful road rage they both were the type of Christians that give the whole religion a bad name she ended up remarrying one of my old college buddies shortly after the divorce her butthole turns into a foghorn every morning for some who don't know the spouse would usually announce if they are a witch or wizard after marriage being with my husband for nine years total married for two just last week found out he doesn't care for bubble wrap I was shook when I found out he asked me why do you think I always gave you the bubble wrap when I had it well it's because I thought you loved me and wanted me to enjoy it more I feel betrayed not me but my parents my mom learned that my dad was into some heavy debt after the wedding literally like a week after and she also learned that he was never going to give up his bachelor life for a more stable family life even though he had a wife and child happy times this family that he would make a fantastic father that he plays video games for 10 to 15 hours a day even when he married and has kids and has a full-time job with marriage counseling he cut back to five hours a day it's now year 22 back up to about 7 hours a day on weekdays I never knew marriage was going to be this lonely she procrastinates cleaning until the task becomes unnecessarily difficult which means she takes forever to clean which means she hates cleaning which makes her procrastinate she also talks in her sleep and that can be pretty funny sometimes if my pants have two holes in them why are three parts of me tired she farts she had always farted around me no big deal usually she kept it to little toots unless she was sick or drunk then it would be loud like mine I don't mind its nature but holy she unleashed an ass trumpet that would put College marching bands to shame she can be across the house and I can hear her ass my mom found out my dad was a compulsive liar when his twin sister didn't show up to their wedding when questioned about it he said she must have imagined the dozens of stories he had told about his twin sister he is an only child she owns Hanson's entire discography that he likes to spooner eyes literally everything spoonerism SPO on RISM spoonerism plural noun spoonerisms a verbal error in which a speaker accidentally transposes the initial sounds or letters of two or more words often too humorous effect as in the sentence you have hissed the mystery lectures accidentally spoken instead of the intended sentence you have missed the history lectures you're welcome what an absolute goofball he was he was always so serious when we were dating now he can't carry on a serious conversation definitely some pros and cons there how insane his mother is he was clear that they had a difficult relationship when he was growing up and that he is really close with his dad because of her behavior since we've been married she's been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and her health professionals say it's likely she has genetic degenerative neurology Huntington's that she was adopted in fairness she didn't know either contrary to what my ex-wife said when we were dating I learned she believed that sex was just for making kids he dunks his Oreos in water instead of milk I still don't know why I thought the person who makes the peanut butter and jelly together before spreading him on the bread was going to be the worst thing in this thread but this is 100 times worse I discovered my wife is a hoarder and doesn't want to throw anything away she's gotten better over the but it's still an issue my husband doesn't like the smell of old books I grew up loving old libraries and old books he can't stand them it was a gradual realization not a dramatic reveal also and much bigger is that he has no conflict resolution skills 20 years of marriage and we've never actually resolved an argument we just wait until I quit being mad long enough to have lots of sex and were good until the next argument the times we've tried to work through things always made it worse at least we still have great sex you should both read the book called nonviolent communication it's old but freaking excellent and we'll teach you both everything but he can't read the book it will have an old book smell not me but my mom she found out my dad was extremely addicted to porn that worked really really hard to overcome it she's only mentioned it once but I got the feeling it was super hard for her to decide to stay he likes to eat fish somehow in our six years of dating I got it into my head that he didn't like to eat seafood my parents would cook dinner and invite him and I'd constantly tell my mom no can you make something else he doesn't eat fish my husband loves most seafood with the singular random exception of coconut shrimp we joke about that to this day that I unintentionally kept him from some of his favorite foods without so much as a conversation about it that's a light-hearted answer I'm sure there are many more eleven years in and we are still learning things about one another he was addicted to porn I'm so sorry my dad just had to fire a guy because of this it was brutal you'd never think it can get that bad but it really can she is a bit of a genius when it comes to finances no complaints I didn't know how much he really loved me it gets better all the time that I am solely responsible for her dreams and I don't mean the want to have kids one day kind have those I mean the type where she wakes me at 3 a.m. and begins the conversation with you wouldn't let me have the window seat because apparently in her dream I wouldn't swap seats with her on the plane she was mad at me for at least a week this sort of thing has happened a few times you

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Keywords: spouse, marriage, after the wedding, wedding stories, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, /r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, funniest posts, top post, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny reddit posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, best askreddit, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, reddit cringe, karma, comment awards, meme awards, dankify, updoot, updoot reddit, toadfilms, chill, memes, reddit master

Id: Hh0daRM2hAE

Length: 17min 35sec (1055 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 13 2019