What Do You Envy About Women/Men? (r/AskReddit)

if you want to know who this meme lord is then check out my gaming channel i'd really love it to grow what do you envy about the opposite sex people assume most men want to do something bad when around children or women alone not having boobs and therefore not having to account for them in clothing choices i mean small breasts are fine i guess but once they have a certain size you're screwed most fitted clothes are designed for people with smaller breasts and won't fit you properly clothes fit you everywhere except for your chest and the ones that do fit your chest are too loose everywhere else hang down from your breasts and make you look twice as wide as you are if you do find something that fits you people will shame you and call you a for showing off your breasts well sorry for wearing a shirt that's my actual size and is not even low cut or anything instead of hiding inside a sweater that is three sizes too big also the astronomical cost of brass and the struggle of having breasts that are not perfectly firm and perky also men can go topless breasts if a woman sucks a dick it is fine but the moment i suck my homie for some extra cash i'm called gay life is just unfair smh their ability to express their mental issues without the same level of skepticism last time i matched with someone on tinder was in april they unmatched me in an hour before i even saw the notification but it happened for that brief moment in time you made it they can never take that away from you they don't bleed from their genitalia for a week every month i know both sexes can do this but getting a whole bunch of your friends and sit while people are getting the dead skin off your hands and feet cleaning and fixing your nails my wife dragged me once and i really liked it but none of my guy friends want to do it i thought it'll be something cool than our usual sit at a bar drink beer thing you could go with your wife again they get to wear little mini skirts but the second my balls are dangling in the wind people lose their i love all the bright bright colors women can wear and have available to them i wanted some pink converse and had to get a woman's size 13 or something i have bought shirts in the thrift store and taking them home and my wife is like that's a blouse being able to compliment someone of the same sex about their appearance i often see girls complimenting other girls on instagram post with things such as stunner babe etc etc with us guys you just don't get that often and if a guy did it out of the blue it would seem very out of place also guys complimenting girls about their appearance is often seen as simping when in actually most guys just want to say something nice the same doesn't often apply to girls complimenting guys at least from what i've seen feel free to correct me on that one peeing on the side of the road in the forest without crouching and trying to avoid your pants shoes if it makes you feel better 90 of the time the last bit of pee goes in our pants no matter what we do not having to worry about if i'm about to be in a week of hell or having pockets in my pants to be able to put my freaking phone in they have functional pockets i had a girl stay over and next morning went down to make tea came up with a mug in each hand and my phone started to ring she stares at me and just my pj bottoms in total confusion where's your phone here i say as i put down a mug and take out the phone she was incensed even your pajamas come with real pockets men get actually functional jumpers that have sensible necklines and can put a t-shirt underneath and shirts that actually cover their lower back when they sit down as a girl who goes to the gym i envy how naturally strong men are and how it's easier for them to build muscle i know it's different for everyone but in general i wish i could lift as heavy and i know i could do it but i'd need to train harder longer i never really comprehended the difference in natural strength until my fiance needed help loading some gardening soil into the cart it was a 40 pounds bag and she was struggling to lift it with both arms she was able to pick it up but was struggling i was able to grab it with one hand with ease not super impressive but still you're impressive to me sky wanker penises sound really great all around easy peeing easy masturbation helicopter dick no swamp crotch for real the only problem you guys seem to have is balls though i hear they feel good during sex balls are itchy af i hate it because i have to wait to be alone to well y'all know lol helicopter is cool but it really feels kinda annoying when you nakey and feel a stick flopping everywhere lol fashion when i go shopping with my girlfriend i always see 10 things i'd wear as a girl to one thing i wear as a guy i'm jealous of casual formal wear a girl could wear a dress to any occasion you could imagine but you can't with men's formal wear it looked like an absolute idiot if i showed up to the pool in a sunsuit plus you can buy a gorgeous dress for like five dollars if you catch a good deal i think there is more variety to women's wear and i hate that the men's section in every store is at most half the size of the women's and usually more like one quarter i've stopped caring about shoes and wear women's sneakers sometimes being taken more seriously and seen as competent at work worked as an engineer for many years and having people regularly assume you don't know anything is soul crushing more than it is funny i didn't spend 10 years studying this just so you could ignore me in meetings and direct all the attention to my colleague who doesn't know just because he is a man and i must be the secretary now work in another field where there is less of a gender disparity but i'm still a bit sad that i wasted so much time on engineering not having to deal with the monthly bloodbath and all the good things that come with it it's hard being a werewolf they'll never know the pain of going to sit on a bike seat on a particularly warm day and pinching your balls as a kid you would be in a hurry to get to billy's house and you would hop on the seat and smash you balls with the force of gallagher's hammer men generally don't have to feel obligated to attend baby in bridal showers i envy that i seriously envy her orgasm women can smile at kids playing at the park without being considered a paedophile they can be nice to kids without instantly being seen as some sort of child predator not having a dick that is randomly turn on at any given moment of the day as an older dude let me warn you careful what you wish for multiple orgasms some of us can't unfortunately for me it's way too sensitive after and by the time it's not i'm no longer interested not being asked if you are married engaged have kids planning on having kids at a job interview all illegal by the way being able to play silly games with babies or young children without people automatically assuming you're up to something nefarious yes yes yes leader and any time i would interact with a child that is more than just talking i would get dirty looks from the middle aged women that also worked there meanwhile the girls that worked there could hug the kids get them to sit on their laps and show affection and none of the ladies would bat an eye one time a girl was leaning against my leg and i was telling her to stop but instinctively she would continue doing it after a couple of minutes when her parents walked in they pulled me to the side and told me how their daughter touching my leg made them uncomfortable it made me feel so shitty people seeing me as a potential predator even though i just love playing with kids it turned the job i once found fun and amazing into a job that was stressful and one that i had to be careful with anything i did receiving compliments from both genders when post a picture if i post a selfie on facebook i'm gonna get 50 likes from the brothers but zero comments they have a lot more options on what to wear in an office us men have one option only shirt and trousers i'm jealous of girl because they get to wear dresses todd flanders the simpsons not having their g-spot up the bum funny as a female it'd say the opposite just sheer strength opening a jar easy lifting this heavy misplaced thing wham bam done oh gotta dig a hole let me just use my bare hands because i gotta put all this testosterone to use no periods free to grow body hair prostates i lost 40 pounds and my boobs are gone your username makes this perplexing definitely their ability to wear a variety of clothing men's fashion is so dull that they're not necessarily expected to have children as a woman people get shocked when i say i don't want kids apparently it's a part of the gift that comes with being a woman also i have endometriosis and couldn't ever dream of being pain-free because of it that they can be standing up women will never know the satisfaction of pinging things off the inside of the toilet with incredible precision and a strong stream [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Reddit Master

Views: 5,795

Rating: 4.9496856 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, best of reddit, best of askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, Funny reddit, funny askreddit, funniest posts, top post, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny reddit posts, best askreddit, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2020, Hilarious stories, Amazing stories, Best cringe, Instant karma, best karma, Best posts, viral, meme, memes, funny memes, dank memes, stories, best stories

Id: 8p3vAyHXrXE

Length: 10min 35sec (635 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 14 2020