What Was The Cringiest Thing You Did In Your First Relationship? (r/AskReddit)

what was the cringy esteem you did in your first relationship high school girlfriend and I used to make out on her bed with the door locked while her parents were out there under the impression was studying heavy kissing and at some point she says cut that out your breath stinks start kissing her neck and she slowly wraps her legs around my thigh couple minutes later starts breathing heavily couple minutes after that her legs tightened around my thigh couple minutes after that she suddenly goes rigid eyes roll up till I see whites rapid breathing exhaling heavily I panic and this is my [ __ ] thought process since all the Bloods left my brain she's choking I should give her CPR but she said no kissing her mouth so I closed my lips around her nose and blow it like a trumpet she starts coughing immediately but she's too polite to cuss me out says she needs a drink of water and leaves the room we continued to go out for six years after that basically I didn't realize GF was having an orgasm thought she was dying tried to save her by blowing sewer breaths straight into her nose I am a [ __ ] I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend I was about 16 at the time and was invited over to stay the night because her dad was on a business trip I was excited because we have talked to bunch about having and I was ready to finally lose my virginity I get to her house and we a straight to action she pulls down my pants and mine is as limp as top ramen noodle she sucked me off for about 30 minutes until I could get at least half a chub I put it in missionary and started humping I didn't really know what to do with my hands and at the time I knew that people pull hair during so I you not I stare at her missionary position and take two handfuls of her hair on both sides and just pull in a downward thrust while I'm humping I sometimes think of this moment and want to disappear long I almost completely erased this memory so I was young and I had my first boyfriend we were experimenting sexually and I really wanted him to think my tasted nice so I would literally rub strawberry flavored lip gloss in my there's no way he didn't know I thought it was such genius idea that I had to share it with my fellow women so I wrote it down and passed a noting past to one of my friends it dropped on the floor and all the boys read it and screamed laughing strawberry lips was my new name and I cried for a week this was with a girl I dated in high school my dad was getting drunk at a block party so I got the idea to take his ski boat and go for a romantic boat ride so we park in the middle of the lake start making out and stuff we notice our feet getting wet the boat was sinking so I start freaking out bailing water out with cups sopping it up with my t-shirt and wringing it out of the boat you know just panicking right after I accept the fate of my dad's $12,000 inboard motor ski boat and calm down I remember that ID i dnt put back the drain plug before dropping it in the water so I replaced it drove back TLDR tried to be cool get laid with a boat ride almost sank it started dating three months before sophomore year ended once summer started I completely ghosted her skip to first week of junior year I thought we were still together you can imagine how she reacted when I approached her for a kiss the shame is still real to this day told my first real gf that I'm glad she wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world so I didn't have to worry about every guy trying to steal her the letters I've wrote all those letters fifteen-year-old me took tea was deep and romantic he wasn t I hope they don't exist anymore she started to ignore me at school this was like maybe one or two weeks after we started dating I called her house like six or seven times one afternoon after school until her mom picked up who was basically furious because I had been calling I explained to her that Alexa was ignoring Mike I hear in the background Alexa why aren't you answering the phone to which she responds because he's weird and he just keeps calling I hung up the phone and went to my room I carved her name in my wall with a pen I still cringe about it to this day was walking her home anticipating kissing her for the first time at her doorstep and kept licking my lips because I D i dnt want to kiss her with a dry mouth halfway to her house she looks at me and says stop doing that I realized I probably looked really creepy broke up with her because my best friend told me to we were perfectly fine together but I guess I kind of worshipped the guy and his advice he later tried asking her out when we split we were all 14 to 15 Wotton ugh I had honestly forgotten this until I read this question first date to a movie we see Titanic because that can only end well we as horny youngsters aren't watching the movie but instead making out and moaning in probably the third row of a packed theater I'd never made out before I assumed moaning was involved so cringy and gross my first kiss was in the movies at the bounty hunter it was interesting because I also got my first a few minutes later in the same spot I remember four things one my parents and her parents were two rows in front of us to the looks of disgust on the old couple's faces four seats down three she swallowed and it was way too much sensation for 16 year old me 3 Gerard Butler was in it declined staying the night because I was and I quote wearing a skirt and didn't want it to ride up while I was sleeping I licked her face to be random God that hurt to re-imagine please don't mention hybridised eating utensils he took me to Olive Garden and bought me that meat love is lasagna I'm pretty damn sure that's what it was is called and when we got back to his place I wanted to show him how appreciative I was so I gave him my first turned out I was not ready for that job and threw up the entire lasagna on his god helped me I can't believe I'm finally sharing this story that is horrible but I'm sure there is a meat lovers joke in there somewhere after I saw Eric proposed to Donna on that 70s show I went out and got a 25 cent ring from the local Pizza Hut and proposed at school in front of everyone I was 16 edit I'm glad you all could share a cringe with me to answer the burning question she did say yes we didn't last sorry no happy ending here just teenagers doing impulsive things Pizza Hut sells jewelry onion rings tried to defend her honor I got thee kicked out of me by three guys I earned credit aching a beating but she thought we should just be friends after witnessing that we took a break and I posted a video to creep by Radiohead with the caption for that special someone ugh I almost cringed off my chair writing this I was 17 we had just had a fight I drove to his house and blasted scars by Papa Roach from my car and just stood awkwardly at the end of the driveway waiting for him to come out I really wish this weren't true I let him finger me at school with no idea the people at the next table could see told her I loved her within the first 24 hours at the school parking lot we were in seventh grade and had been dating for maybe two weeks I printed a marriage certificate and showed it to her the first time she came over to my house she called her mom and asked to go home immediately well she said that she thought we would be better off just being friends so I decided that I needed to do some big grand gesture to prove my love it always worked in the movie so what could go wrong I practiced singing the song for weeks on my ukulele and figured that I would wait until after her softball practice was done and surprise her I sang your beautiful by James Blunt it's a miracle anyone talked to me after that edit getting a lot of questions so I'll try my best to answer most of them and keep it short I wasn't a terrible singer but I wasn't good it didn't help that I added intentional breaks in my voice to make the song more emotionally powerful or something dumb like that after I was done and stood in horror as her friends laughed at me and she stormed away I kind of did a sad George Michael s walk in the rain to my car as I contemplated what would be easier moving school districts or just driving off a cliff we were not friends after that it was super embarrassing for her and everyone teased her for months by singing James Blunt songs to her I definitely had it worse but high school kids are it also didn't help that about two weeks after we were assigned as lab partners and she raised her hand and asked the teacher if she could switch partners and the whole car snickered it seems sweet reading the story but really it was super creepy and I put her in an impossible spot if anything positive came from it I never had any troubles approaching women at bars etc because I already knew what the worst possible thing that could happen was so it was only uphill from there she showed me a topless pic and I was too embarrassed to look at it I hit my girlfriend with my car it was a complete accident we are still friends and it is a story that still comes up in conversation every now and then after the first date of going to the movies I never put my arm around her because I was too scared we sat in my driveway and she didn't say goodnight because she was waiting for me to kiss her I did nothing so she finally kissed me in defense mode I licked my lips all the way around with my tongue like scooby-doo Dizz with the cotton candy in the theme song intro I even did the rehe Lee kill me [Music]

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Id: xjmk0Jnwp2w

Length: 10min 31sec (631 seconds)

Published: Wed May 22 2019