NEVER Go To Prison And HERE'S WHY! (r/AskReddit Top Posts)

ex-cons what is the most that thing about prison that nobody knows about my friend's father worked in a prison he had to quit because some co-workers neglected to give a woman her bipolar medication just so they could see what happens I don't know if it's much of a secret but they didn't give some women sanitary products so the women had to free bleed and they'd get mad when their uniforms got stained not me but my mother they had to put her in her own area because she was pregnant and people kept threatening the baby it also happened that her cellmate was a woman who boiled her child alive and ate it which this happened before the woman went to jail not during the time she was incarcerated in PC the guys with really sick crimes compared them with one another in fact they don't necessarily get beat up because what they have done in the past it's because they are bragging about it in the present I guess it's not really up but my dad said it drove him crazy when people wouldn't wear slippers in the showers as without slippers it was one of the quickest ways to get nasty foot fungus con employee relationships can be sneaky when I was going through training to work in the prison system I thought I'd never be caught dead doing favors or being friendly with an inmate eventually after seeing the same inmate every day for months cleaning your office taking the trash you realize they're human too he wears a cross around his neck he carries a bottle of adobo in his pocket for mealtime he's active in church he's a painter and loves pigeons you find out his hobbies and bits about his life and soon you see about getting him an extra blanket or a new pair of shoes and you forget he stabbed his wife nine times it's never quiet my dad was in prison in his situation and in many others you feel immense guilt after getting to know your fellow inmates because you're gonna get out and they're not ever not in prison but I volunteering one one time I was chatting up this huge black dude and I asked him what he did in his free time he said he played a lot of Dungeons & drag I was shot on the outside he would never be mistaken for a DND player white guy on the other side of me told me that DMD was huge in prison I had no idea also same guy makes tacos for everyone else and makes money doing it I think he has a hot plate in his cell and uses commissary items as ingredients when you get out the feeling of soft carpet on your bare feet is borderline orgasmic and you'll never take it for granted again form a prison librarian here dental care dentists won't fill your teeth they will just pull them no caps no implants race prisons are still self segregating in a lot of ways when I worked in a prison in WV one dorm had a black TV controlled only by black inmates in a white TV controlled by only white inmates on a culture if you call someone a name or steal from them the other person must retaliate to save honor as a result you will see a lot of black eyes in prison postage stamps are a form of currency many prisons censor what books come into the institution at one prison I worked in the art of war by Sun Tzu was banned simply because of the title I assure you that no one in admin had ever read the book don't get sick you'll probably die a horrible death a neighbor of mine was locked up for murder and released sometime before I was born it's one of those things where everyone knew about it but no one talked about it I remember him telling me the story of why he was in there and what it was like very rarely did and the most surprising thing in his experience was that the smaller quieter weaker more vulnerable in general were typically left alone it's only if you acted like a big-shot did people want to fight you also picking fights with said smaller quieter weaker more vulnerable ones will instantly get you a non stop flogging by other inmates until your spirit broke my brother is a CEO and he told us why their inmates have shampoo and soap that comes in packets now they used to have it in little bottles well the guys would use up all this soap and instead of throwing the bottle away they would keep it and fill it with a combination of whatever bodily fluids they felt was appropriate and use it to hold up other inmates for the commissary like if you don't give me your commissary I'm going to squirt this bottle in your face and when they said no one got squirted in the face they got pink AAA my brother said a lot of people had pinkeye a was always one of the ingredients in the bottle my sister is in prison and for me it's the access to the black market specifically it's very easy to get hard drugs imagine sitting around with nothing to do hating your situation fighting depression and knowing you can just get some cheap heroin they use money from canteen relatives favors etc it's also generally accepted that if someone gets in trouble getting them out of it is just a matter of sending 50 dollars to a random Western Union also applies if they want to be moved to a different cell my husband spent a little time in prison he's been out now for six years one thing I always found interesting is everything can be currency in prison and I mean everything from cigarettes to any extra food from commissary socks deodorant there's an intricate trade system and anything that's not your basic scrubs or what they give you walking in the door has a value everyone was so god damn friendly I was mad when I got out and had to deal with real [ __ ] again I think it was the fact that we all knew we up and there wasn't any reason to act different or hit anything granted Minnesota prisons are nowhere near the toughest how shitty the toilets can be especially when you have to share a cell or pod and they basically have to listen to you in the middle of the night the cigarette in prison consists of the following sell each clip for $2 to $4 a cigarette out of that pack can be sold whole for between $10 to $20 each it was very common for someone to walk around the yard picking up fully smoked cigarettes to shake out the last few crumbs of tobacco for rolling into a clip most people were fine just buying a clip or two that would last him for the entire evening if someone saw you smoking a Cadillac you're either going to have to share the Cadillac or fight again a Cadillac is a full factory rolled standard cigarette someone asked about a hot oil shower in a buried comment a hot oil shower is when an inmate will take a cup of baby oil and heat it up in the microwave to the point of almost boiling the oil this is done late at night so that you can take that hot oil and throw it in somebody's face while they're asleep which will burn the skin off of their face it's a very effective attack weapon the most up thing is that the real punishment starts after you get out of prison granted most of the guys in prison have been in and out for years and a lost causes in prison they offer you time off to do drug counseling attend Double A or college or even Latin drumming passes the point of all this programming is to rehabilitate you for when you come out but it means when you get out there is no housing or job or family waiting for you at the gates just $200 in a warning to check in with your Pio three hundred miles away in 48 hours it's no wonder why so many of these men and women end up back in prison but there are a few who want to get their life together and it's hard if not impossible I made a mistake and it got me two years in prison I am a college grad and was about to finish graduate school and had a nice corporate job I'm not a druggie and obviously not a gangbanger I've been out a year and no respectable professional business wants to hire a felon regardless of your qualifications I get it when I'm being offered a sixty thousand dollars yearly job at multi-billion dollar cooperation why hire me when they can find hundreds of just as qualified candidates with no record and housing they to do background checks I'm in a bind because I'm in a halfway house that I have to leave in ninety days and not only have to deal with a housing crunch but also with finding a way to get around a background and credit check my credit was ruined during the two years I was out I should be the guy who makes it after prison and I don't know I am twenty days away from being off probation too I wonder what will happen if I can get back to where I was before all of this mess and all I know I ain't going back to prison I thought about just blowing my brains out the other part is when people who haven't experienced the real post prison life lecture you about starting your own business or something sure where am I to get capital and how am I supposed to get those required licenses and insurances that are not allowed to be issued to felons then they say can't do the time then don't do the crime which goes against the idea of trying to help the very same people that you don't want to go back and pay for was listening to a podcast on the West Memphis Three three dudes got life in prison for murdering a bunch of kids but they were actually all innocent one of the guy said the worst thing about prison was that during the summer there was a million mosquitoes in his self the entire wall of his cell was red from the blood of all the dead mosquitoes he would slap and punch every day they would be in his cell 24/7 just stinging him non-stop while he slept while he was taking a dump while he was jerking off it never ended most summer days he would just lay on the floor crying wishing for death when you get out you miss the simplicity of choices when you're in all you think about is getting out and what you will do when that happens everything focuses around this when you are out at first the input is enormous and a small part of you miss the simplicity I work in an electronics store in a slightly sketchy part of town and often get customers who are fresh out of jail talking to them is like talking to a time traveler from the past some of these people are completely blown away by the concept of Wi-Fi they are required to call their parole officers every day but are not provided with a phone to do so explaining how phones and phone plans work to someone who has never even touched a cell phone in their life is surreal the amount of choices available to them is overwhelming especially if they don't know how those choices will really affect them I try to help them find the simplest solutions for what they need the smell the smell my friend who is in a Correctional Facility in Michigan says it smells like open ass 24/7 the prison or just Michigan in general the most unlikely people are chess masters they take your mug shot last suddenly Lindsay Lohan's mug shot progression makes so much more sense on a slightly lighter side a sort of family friend recently got out of prison after approximately 18 years for holding up a gas station for drug money my uncle was his friend and when the guy got out my uncle said man does this show you're gonna love cold Game of Thrones the guy laughed and said he was current on it the imprisoned black market was his source for a tiny approximately 2 inch battery-powered screen and microSD cards with the episodes on it every now and then it would be confiscated as contraband and he'd have to save up for a month to buy another he also had a prison cap that knew to leave his cell before morning activities and to come back after lights-out he'd feed it little chunks of meat he smuggled out of the mess hall one big thing for him was making sure to train the cat who to go to next because there's definitely some people that would have killed it just for the unique experience humorously enough my brother found the post and corrected something he says the tiny little TV was something they were allowed to have but the SD cards were what was contraband apologies for the mistake guards can and will withhold medical treatment when I was in County Jail there was an older woman vomiting profusely she couldn't keep water down her skin was tenting and she was hallucinating I explained all this to the guards and that she needed medical treatment immediately for two days she was like that until I transferred out I have no idea what happened to that woman and I still think about her this was in Georgia USA bombing I had a friend go to prison for a drug-related crime he had his own cell and stuck to himself for the most part another inmate into a water bottle and filled it to the brim with water and mixed it up into a slush said inmate then took the water bottle to the my friend's self placed at the slit at the bottom of his cell door and stomped on it water sprayed absolutely everywhere while my friend was in the cell - not an ex-con but former prison librarian inmates are not allowed to have intimate relations including with themselves they can get infractions for being caught masturbating how bad it smells from the poor hygiene of inmates and unclean facilities lots of offices sleeping on the job for a non Western prison in an anonymous country they keep statistics on inmates but often report false cause of death when a prisoner is found tied to a bed beaten to death he would be checked into hospital for a week before they finally report his death due to natural causes like cardiac arrest or dehydration administration staff do not want to get involved in keeping order so they have a group of prisoners they elect to do it for them this means this group gets special privileges from administration staff where they turn a blind eye to abuse for the sake of keeping order the ruling group gets unlimited power to extort abuse and otherwise exploit everyone else as long as they keep violence in the rest of the population down the official staff keeps a distance and away from harm but the rest of the prisoners are subject to a ruthless gang the administration staff only interferes if they're elected group does not keep order which is when they elect a different gang to the role administration staff will manipulate rebellious inmates they will create sympathy between the inmate and themselves and encourage them to stand up for what's right they say they have a plan to help and continue meeting with these inmates but any inmate that has repeated meetings with administration staff is seen as a tattletale that reports other inmate offenses when others find out they meet with administration regularly they do not last long this is how the official staff removed people that rebel against the system then they report their death as a natural cause one week later everyone knows to stay out of this business but sometimes people get trapped in mates will accuse other inmates they don't like of being tattletales to get them removed they have no way out they cannot go to the administration staff because they keep this system alive and they cannot communicate with the outside world because all communication is intercepted you never wake up feeling safe ever there is so much hanging over your head that you may not be in control of that the stress level is through the roof [Music]

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Keywords: prison, ex cons, worst things about prison, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, /r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, funniest posts, top post, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny reddit posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, best askreddit, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, reddit cringe, karma, comment awards, meme awards, dankify, updoot, updoot reddit, toadfilms, chill, memes, reddit master

Id: zJzWgmT2060

Length: 15min 44sec (944 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 26 2019