What are you proud of, but can’t talk about? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what's something you're proud of that you can't normally talk about a few months ago my best friend was suicidal and hit me with the text talking bout maybe I'll see you another day maybe not so I left my house and went to the friends he was living at in Wharton we are really close as a group and don't have to knock or nothing to find him on the floor head wrapped tight in a towel my other friend was shocked to see me walking on he was on his bed on his phone while my brother was on sleeping on the floor we got my friend breathing and we didn't know what to do after that so we went for a drive he promised he wouldn't do that again now we are living our best lives and never spoke about that day to anyone this is semi-anonymous enough to share and hopefully I can give you all advice to not hesitate or let others do something for you God had us that day I believe that surviving some evil people I ended up not caring if I lived or died got pregnant and lost the baby all because of said people began drinking eventually to cope with the emotional pain of all of it managed to claw my way back to some semblance of a normal life even though some days I still don't really care if I live or die idk I guess it's something to be proud of even though I have days I utterly hate myself for the mistakes I've made in life I don't talk about any of this very much with anyone in person pretty much just a little online here and there this is gonna get buried cause I'm 1 2 K comments too late but I fought my ass off for my kids I felt pregnant at 15 to an abusive partner at the time I was living in a group care home and basically everyone thought I would have my unborn baby taken away from me and I'd end up on drugs or in jail but I worked my ass off and even had social services compliment me on how good of a job I was doing for someone my agent in my situation I'm now a teen in a very loving relationship with an amazing support network and two very beautiful crazy smart babies oh and no social service involvement [Music] this is generally such a nice threat to read through I'm proud of everyone on here and I'm glad they're all proud of themselves too I'll go to cause I'm inspired by some of the other mental health related posts I have four weeks left before I graduate college a quarter early and with good grades to come well I'm in a happy healthy relationship where I never ever questioned if my partner loves me and being around him enriches my life so much our one-year is coming up in a little more than a month which is my longest relationship to this day I've started going to the gym but still don't step on scales past disordered eating stuff that's not quite beyond brain-wise all the while I'm struggling with my most severe depression and anxiety I've had since going on medication four years ago sounds like a bad thing and it can be use but since there's no magic spell I can cast on myself to make my mental illness go away in the blink of an eye I'm pretty proud that I'm still functioning and kind of kamma thriving in some aspects of my life in spite of it plus I'm still proud of myself for going on my medication in the first place since I was technically undiagnosed and completely untreated for about seven years and I definitely can talk about this stuff but man I hate talking about myself cause it always feels selfish braggy and um shia viral so I never do I'm proud of the silliest things most recent one was converting one of my favorite card game into tabletop simulator it took 200 photos and then manually removing the background from each took me about four days since I powered through it it's probably just going to sit there collecting dust because none of my friends are interested or even have tabletop simulator I made two dollars-three meters on cryptocurrency only my investment advisor knows I'm afraid to tell anybody else because my entire extended family is poor and I don't want them to find out it's me oh brother was riding my bicycle to meet a mate for brunch and a woman suddenly started freaking out yelling oh my god somebody had to help her look to the other side of the street and in the park saw a guy beating a woman arc biked over and with the help of another two strangers took him down and restrained him until police arrived still makes me smile to think that I've done something good in my life my penis is larger than I had originally believed the first time I measured was in high school and it was a whopping 425 inches I was very disappointed but I soon accepted that I now fulfilled the Asian stereotype fast-forward 15 years and I'm having relations with another dude and he asks how big and I've been giving myself an extra quarter inch so I say four five and he's like no way I'm 475 and year bigger than me we measure and it turned out that I'm closer to five five it was such a proud moments to be more average I'm imagining that I was initially measuring wrong or using a ruler with too much of a gap at the end or maybe I wasn't done with puberty but yeah I can't really brag about it because it's quite average but I'm very proud of it I saved my boyfriend from his previous toxic relationship he doesn't enjoy talking about it BC it brings up bad memories but it took six months to help him actually get out of it because he was so used to being attached to her and he had the I'm useless mentality because she constantly belittled him today is our one-year anniversary and I've never been happier I turned in the man who molested me and got him arrested preventing him from hurting any other children I was a teenager and he was my private tutor he had many other students of all ages some were tiny little kids I told my mum about a day after it happened because I was scared and had been groomed for months leading up to this and at first convinced myself that I should keep quiet for a number of reasons but I couldn't get it out of my head and I kept thinking about all those little kids he tutored and what if I wasn't the only one he touched so I finally spoke up about it he later ended up confessing to the police and was arrested I am just passed intermediate level skill at pole fitness pole dance the kind you see in Cirque du Soleil not the erotic dancing stripping kind it was part of how I dragged myself out of depression and kick-started getting myself into better shape it took about three years of practice to get to where I'm at but I don't feel like I can talk about it with family most friends because the automatic reaction is oh you're a stripper then double-quote [Music] growing up I was a fat nerdy loser I had assumed enjoying the life file it was one of those things for other people now I'm 17 years old and things are looking bright for the first time I'm going to go to an amazing uni I live in the greatest city in the world and I'm getting into a relationship with the most incredible girl I've ever met I've lost weight started eating better and sleeping well and legitimately care for so many people in my life this road ahead is long but with any luck I will enjoy the journey I gave a two-year-old kid behind like maneuver about 15 years ago not sure if he would have died or not had I not been there it was just me and his mum but it feels good knowing I used the training I had to try to help save a life fast forward to today and I actually still know the kid in his mom married to a friend of mine whenever I'm around them I never bring it up or anything but it definitely gets brought up by them either him or mom usually in a kind of joking matter but I can tell they both are very appreciative and grateful the kid has turned out to be a very well-adjusted teenager proud of him more than of myself this might sound weird but I'm really proud of my performance as a dad right now my life was just nuts currently I went back to school in my mid-twenties and I'm in my last semester civil engineering due to my school being sucky at scheduling I'm having to take 18 hours all technical classes plus study for the state licensing exam plus work at an internship add in that my wife and I have several friends struggling with varying degrees of depression that need constant support and our house is super old and falling apart so I'm constantly having to fix things I feel constantly overwhelmed but somehow I'm getting through it and I still managed to be there consistently for my two-year-old honestly sometimes I feel like I deserve a medal but I hate people who play the see how hard my life is game so I don't bring it up the joy I get when I come home and my son starts screaming dah dah dah dah and dragging me around the house to play with him is enough reward when I was 12 we decided to put down my childhood dog he was 16 and have been in the family before me we go to the office mum says we should go I see my furry brother standing there scared and confused and I told her no I told her I was going in with my dog and she would just have to wait for me or she and my father didn't come with I marched past them with the vet tech and held my dog in my arms until he was gone my mom told me years later that she knew I would be a good person from that day on and was surprised that I had a strength of character to stand up to both of them and be there for a in their last living moment without the slightest hesitation even as a child I'm the only one in my immediate family that hasn't been addicted to drugs I'm also the only one who hasn't done crack or meth my dad stepdad mom half-brother and half-sister have all spent significant times as drug addicts with some spending years addicted I also believe I am also one of three out of that bunch that haven prostituted myself for money what can I say I'm a classy guy one time I really had to go and so I ran behind a rock and shat out a pretty big [ __ ] as soon as my pants were down then I felt another rumbling and an even bigger [ __ ] covered the entire previous [ __ ] all of this happened on top of a [ __ ] that somebody else previously took behind that very same rock when I came out and rejoined the rest of the expedition our guide said a little prayer in Nepali under his breath what did they feed you at the time I blamed the emergency vitamin C booster packets I mixed with water and drank throughout the day the day of the giant [ __ ] I drank it all in one go in the morning for the first time instead of spreading it out over the whole day it's the only thing I can think of I didn't have [ __ ] like that any other day this is on a more serious note but I haven't cut myself in over a month I used to do it every day I am so very proud of myself for finding healthy coping mechanisms I'm a work in progress but at least I'm working this I cut myself for over a decade it became so addictive and I did it for so many varied reasons it really was the difficult habit to break but I definitely felt like it was is not something I can talk about with anyone for the friends I had who did cut it was only in middle school and they talked about it like it was just some melodramatic adolescent cry for attention so the fact that I continued to do it through college was always a huge embarrassment to me so it was never something that I could talk while doing or after I quit it's been about eight years now and when I first stopped I thought about it constantly for a long time eventually I started thinking about it less and less and nowadays while the thought does still cross my mind during times of extreme emotion those thoughts rare and fleeting so congratulations you should be proud of yourself and hang in there my brother had really bad epilepsy when we were younger and I was there during his first seizure and freaked out I was no help in that situation but IRA searched everything I could in case it happened again the next night I woke up to him having a seizure and woke up my mother and we both took the precautions necessary over time he had multiple bad seizures a couple memorable ones were me in my room laying in bed listening to music and I think I hear him call my name and I get super anxious all of a sudden so I ran in and saw him on the floor having a seizure and I turn him over and clear the area and try to soothe him another time was when my dad was overseas and my mother was out with friends and I was upstairs my brother was downstairs making food and suddenly I get worried about the silence I call down to him and he doesn't respond so I ran down the stairs no hesitation to see him dragging our fridge and it's just about to topple on top of him but I ran in and slammed it against the wall and had to pry him off because he had seized up completely I put him on the floor and held his hand and talked him through it he told me he could hear me the whole time and cried for the rest of the night there are a couple other times but weaves were the most memorable I went to great lengths to get someone a job they wound up being incredibly successful and making a lot of money quickly this person would never have found this company or position of I hadn't recommended it and guided them through the interview process I can talk about it much now because I don't want to take away from the person's success I am happy for them and they have acknowledged my influence but it seems petty for me to bring it up even though my involvement was a key piece of the success puzzle so one drunk night I wrote a short piece of erotic fiction that featured Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump this was right after Trump announced his candidacy my partner convinced me to self-publish on Amazon a few weeks later I got a notice of copyright on the story cover art and it was pulled down so pretty sure either some Putin list or trumpian knows about my little story it makes me laugh and fills me with pride that my stupid story pissed someone off enough to make up fake charges to get it pulled you know when you're at a red light or a stop sign and you brake as carefully as you can to avoid that jerk forwards when everything settles I'm pretty sure I'm the best at that like number one I'm confessed not driving just that specific part it's almost like a sixth sense but I don't bring it up because it's pointless and I don't want to be the guy that says he's number one at something law my abusive bf pulled a knife on me in the middle of the night and said he was going upstairs to kill my parents he had Bikila disorder combined with drug and alcohol abuse I convinced him he was right but we should go get beers first from the convenience store I drove and drove and drove pretending the stores we passed were closed until he finally passed out in the car I kept driving to keep him from waking up the next morning I bought him a plane ticket drove him to the air court and told him he had to go never saw him again I went on a camping trip with my class in seventh grade one afternoon a couple of my friends and I were having lunch by the lake and we heard a man screaming for help we look out to the lake and we see two people in the water and a flipped canoe that is far away from them it's called a lake but the water has flow so they were floating along anyways we get one friend to go grab a teacher and we start trying to figure out a way to save them the teacher comes down in strips into her underwear and swims out there and we here grab our baby grab our baby they had a three-month-old with them she grabs the baby and goes back and grabs a man in the woman one by one we helps by grabbing a large stick and going out as deep as we could so when they got close they could grab the stick and we could pull them in it was insane but everyone survived but they were incredibly exhausted from trying to swim in that three month old baby girl should be about sixteen years old now come to think of it it happened the 18th of April 2002 so almost exactly 15 years and nine months ago so her 16th birthday should be within the last week or so oh yeah later that night we find the flipped canoe washed up on the shore on another part of the beach it had an attached cooler with some beers in it and me and the boys had our first beverage that night I was violently raped at a party when I was 21 struggled a lot with it for years triggered a really bad period of depression and gained 50 pounds almost four years later and I'm on the upswing never told anyone about it not bragging it is what it is just coped by myself currently losing the weight got my master's degree and I'm working a really good job I think I'm a pretty strong person I recently landed an internship for the summer that pays almost $29 HR this is huge for me it was only two three years ago that I was getting rejected by every minimum-wage job including the infamous burger flipping Giga mcds in my hometown because I was such a horrid interviewee but I feel like a total [ __ ] bragging about something like this iral because I know so many people who are working hard at a part-time job paying a third at what I'll be making or are struggling to find even on unpaid internship so I don't bring it up much but man I'm so f king proud of myself I've come a long way I was a senior in high school waiting for a friend at the end of the hallway from a distance I could see Scotty he was a special needs student that was a very sweet kid walking towards me with a little [ __ ] sophomore punk making fun of him the whole way I've never gotten in a fight in school before and I'm really not into confrontation but something just snapped I made a beeline to the kid picking on Scotty and grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him against the lockers the look on his face was shocked dude didn't see me coming I screamed what the hell is wrong with you if I ever see you doing anything like this again I swear you'll regret it I realized what I was doing and let go of him and straightened his shirt smiled and said are we clear I never saw him talk to Scotty again note Scotty isn't the kids real name being gay and free from the F cloud of worries and [ __ ] straight men have to deal with usually regarding silly social norms to fit standards of what a real man is supposed to be like when you're a gay person with the right mindset you get to enjoy the freedom it provides you it's not to say that gay people don't have to face their own specific sometimes very serious set of problems it's just that a gay guy comfortable in his own skin can easily laugh about how straight guys can be desperate with fear of not being perceived as manly or as an alpha male or how they fear they might be turning gay it's also sad because sometimes those strict social rules of how a straight man must act can consume and destroy the life of these straight men whereas an open-minded gay man tends to be much more free and comfortable with his own sexuality my whole childhood I thought I had the perfect family when I was 10 my brother had a baby he was 17 my parents were fighting constantly in that's when my mom started doing meth when I was 11 they divorced in two my dad took me from my mom he treated me poorly day in and day out I was being called names and being made fun of by my own dad when I was 14 my mom killed herself and I ran away I hitchhiked from Texas to Georgia I was raped seven times on the way there and five times on the way back after I came home my dad treated me worse than before I was his maid and his emotional punching bag when I was 17 I decided that was enough and I left he pulled me from school and I couldn't do anything about it because I was 17 me and my dad didn't speak for a year it hurt me that the man I worshipped as a child didn't like me and then November of last year he was diagnosed with stage four cancer on the 1st of January he died I'm now 19 years old with no parents and no clue what to do really but I'm working on my get and then I'm going to culinary school in Philly in three months I'm just really proud I haven't completely given up yet when I was seven I was camping with my nephew who was around six months old at the time we just had bought a trailer with an attached shade my nephew had undergone multiple brain surgeries and was never expected to learn how to walk he was in a baby seat underneath the shade when some safety mechanism on the shade failed in the large metal tube that the shade rolled up into started free-falling directly above my nephews heads from about 11 feet up I somehow reacted in time and blocked the metal tube with my shoulder and arm it completely blocked my nephew from the impact but dislocated my shoulder civillian shattered my arm the thing was probably around 60 - 70 pounds I still have shoulder problems to this day 12 years later but my nephew who wasn't expected to even walk is a great soccer player with a promising future I never told him because I don't want to diminish his success at all and only my parents and brothers know went to Walmart and bought $500 worth of toys and took them to a Toys for Tots blocks same year a guy was asking for help for Christmas for his two kids so bought a 300 dollar gift card to Toys R Us for him to use he sent me a photo on my old phone of his kids and all the presents on Christmas morning I didn't have much but in the year 2016 I dealt with a lot of personal loss so I felt for those that couldn't be fortunate in their certain situations only two of my friends know about this haven't really told anyone else so figured with it won't be a bad place I once talked a wrong number out of suicide I was at work just doing my thing when my phone rang I answered in the voice on the other end just sounded off I have no idea why I did it but I asked the guy if he was okay and the answer was no he was some college kid in Florida who had tried to call a suicide hotline but somehow flubbed it bad enough to get some dude in Texas I talked to him as much as I could by my job required the use of two hands so I made him promise to call me back after I clocked out he totally did we talked a few more times after that until my phone completely bricked and I was unable to afford a new one for weeks I never heard from him again after that so I hope he is doing okay TL DR got a wrong number from a suicidal guy talked him out of it lost touch [Music] TL DR I'm proud of who I've become since being abused and abandoned as a child but the stories are so off-putting I can't share with people without changing how they perceive me I was horrifically abused physically sexually and emotionally by some of my family for the first 15 years of my life I was frequently hospitalized as I was tortured to the point where I would have died if not treated I was homeless and lived on the streets after that the stories of the cruelty I've endured are endless and yet here I am today a decade's long relationship a full and rewarding career peers and friends who think I'm funny charismatic and emotionally well grounded I'm so proud of that but when I share with friends it changes how they interact with me fear bothered and disturbed by it and it's difficult to wrap their heads around so I just don't share much anymore at 20-21 I had just moved back from another country and whilst trying to find people to fit in with fell into the wrong crowd I was taking everything from meth to any party pills and everything in between staying up for days I was still working full-time and making better Capers than ever and somehow no one knew I managed to realize what I was doing was not ok it was a long year but in less than a month I cleaned myself up moved away from the poison people and now I'm happier than ever four years later I can't talk about it because of the shame and the way my family and friends would react if they knew but I'm proud of where I am now my life could have gone in a completely different direction I wish I had someone on the journey with me it was a hard one to be on alone I'm sure this will get buried but this is one of the first times I've ever said any of this song out loud and damn it feels good I'm trans and only out to a few very close friends and family some days I look at the murder rates of trans people and the results of public surveys on opinions towards trans people and just random comments on the Internet and I get pretty f king scared about how the world may treat me when I transition but then I remember when I realized gender dysphoria was the source of my depression and anxiety I had throughout my teens it felt like a huge weight off my shoulders just finally knowing who I was and why I felt so [ __ ] I still have full intentions of transitioning despite what others may think of me or treat me f ck them I Know Who I am I'm still impatient and struggling a lot but I haven't attempted suicide or taken a serious OD in over a month now which I'm proud of us at this point I couldn't tell you how many attempts I've made over the last few years I also haven self-harmed at all in a week life's still a [ __ ] [ __ ] and I'm still having to deal with the after-effects of some of my actions more recently keeping damaged bits of me clean and bandaged up and less recently coping with having scars on my arms that may never go away but things do improve at least a bit I'm still far off recovery and I know some of my problems won't ever go away but I'm proud of my little f ck yes to my mental health problems X I saw tweet requesting for a blood donation rang the number learned that it was for a serious heart surgery of the father of the guy who put out the tweet half an hour later he picked me up on his bike went to the hospital and donated some blood and went home never met his father a year later the son rang me and invited me to his wedding he said that I had saved his father's life and his father would like to meet me at his wedding I went to the wedding a traditional Hindu ceremony ate lots of good food danced and met the man he cried we talked and he gave me a statue of Ganesh as a gift Ganesh is the god of wisdom I still carry it around even if I don't believe in good luck and wisdom from the gods ivory told this story to my so I feel good about what I did my videogame achievements law say whatever you want but I love getting them too bad nobody cares that I've beaten all of the Fallout games countless times to see all the different endings or that I've got all the candles lit in stardew valley or that I've read my Pokemon with perfect IVs and egg moves or that I've got three fully maxed out tombs in WoW etc people just look at me like it's some sad thing that I enjoy gaming so much : but I'm proud of my accomplishments even if they're in video games haha a year ago I was beginning to have suicidal ideations it got to the point that in mid April there were frequent thoughts daily by late April I had semi plans that to this day I still don't know if I world carried out in early May I self admitted to a mental health facility today I'm still depressed and I still have anxiety but fear not as severe as they were and are actually manageable I'm off anxiety meds and I'm on a lower dose of my antidepressant I haven had a suicidal thought in the months I'm a little worried because what set me down this path was my cat of 15 years dying in March and his 1 year anniversary is coming up soon but I don't think he'll get as bad as I was last year at least I'm going to try to have a better spring [Music]

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Id: _ihw1HO_tTI

Length: 31min 17sec (1877 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 11 2019