What Are Some Shocking Realizations Made as an Adult?

what are some shocking realizations made as an adult about things that happened to you as a kid when i was little i used to take this bottle of lotion from my parents room and like eat the lotion it never made me sick and didn't taste bad but it didn't taste good either it was just one of those really weird things kids do when they're young one day i happily told my mom about the lotion under her mattress that i sometimes ate she gave me a weird look and the lotion went missing after that i even mentioned the lotion eating when i was about 13 like haha that was so weird that i used to eat your secret lotion and then i t hit emmy a few years later i suddenly realized it wasn't thick and creamy it was quite liquid and oily not like lotion it didn't taste horrible as i imagine lotion would it was lube the strange bottle of fluid hidden under my parents mattress made safe for human consumption that i often gobble down for fun was freaking lube tl dr happily told my mother about eating lube from under her bed you must have the smoothest throat ever my dad's secretary would come for dinner and buy me things when my mum was away i just thought she was a nice lady who liked kids oh sad when i was sixish one of my best friends in my neighborhood was called christopher and he was really tall we shared a lot of the same interests power rangers jurassic park star wars we used to play all the time it turns out he wasn't tall he was 15 and mentally handicapped innocent enough i guess i love how crap like that doesn't matter to us as kids we learn to judge as we grow i used to think that when you grow up you get an adult name like that at a certain age all the ashley's and katie's of the world became susan's and helens and such i was super excited to get my adult name and kept thinking that i'd want to become may then i grew up when my mom was a kid she lived in a community where most of the old people had immigrated to this country and had thick foreign accents while their children were born here and had american accents having no explanation for this she concluded that people naturally start with american accents and develop foreign accents as they got older my dad used to take me to a bunch of random places to meet his friends or play with his friend's kids i was a very non-social kid so i had no idea why he'd bring me to some random playground or some random guy's house and expect me to talk to or play with the other kid while he and his friend would go talk in the next room sometimes it was weird field trips in the middle of the night once he took me and my brother to her sewage treatment plant his friend worked at we got a tour and everything and it was really cool even if it was really smelly after the grand tour we were told to wait in the office while they went and talked nothing unusual for us ten years later out of nowhere i realized what had happened called my brother hey remember all those weird field trips dad would take us on yeah he was dealing drugs oh my god you're right not that interesting to the average person but to this holy crap when i was really young like six seven maybe younger i don't know i was at my dad's softball game my dad and his team were warming up next to the field and i was waiting in a beach chair for the game to start some guy in his twenties or thirties was really nice and started talking to me he liked all of my interests baseball cards and the braves and whatnot and then he wanted to show me something cool in the woods behind the fields i don't remember what it was he wanted to show me anyway i go with him because he seems really cool looking back this was a terrible choice but i was young as we are walking to the woods we had to walk past the players warming up an air and throw got past one of the guys and it hit me right in my side kind of in the kidney i started crying and my dad came over to see what was wrong my dad gave that guy the stink eye and he immediately left the fields it was only relatively recently that i thought about what happened that day and realized what was probably going on that might have been the best kidney shot i have ever received when i was about seven or so i was riding with my dad to the store i noticed he had a keychain with a balloon in it i asked him if i could have the balloon and he said sorry while laughing a bit i then blew it up and such and played with it on the right back then down the road took physical ed in fifth grade that wasn't a freaking balloon it was a goddamn condom so it was a freaking balloon when my sister and i were about six and three we used to play with the massages under my mom's bed we'd rub our backs our necks and i specifically remember us making underwater noises by putting it to our lips oh sweet jesus when i was 16 hardly an adult i know there were some kids smoking pot at a party i was at i literally thought my mother had just arrived and taken a crap that day i learned my mom smoked marijuana i think every child of a pot smoking parent is destined to have this experience i used to think that you had to do the splits to freak i was sad because i couldn't do the splits found out it isn't true hasn't made a difference i can imagine your first my apologies i was about three years old and fell under the category of a typical mama's boy one day i decided to plant rocks in the hopes they would grow into flowers lo and behold after i went inside for lunch and came back out three flowers were sticking out of the ground and the rocks were gone i ran in to show my accomplishment 16 years later while caught in a day's driving i for whatever reason remembered this day i called up my parents to ask if they had anything to do with it turns out i have a troll dad not a troll dad your dad loves you my elementary school was connected to my grandma's apartment complex and i always went to her place after school i usually stayed in the back guest room doing homework but i was a huge daydreamer one day there was a huge thump that felt like it shook the whole building i peered out the window and saw a man sleeping on the rocks on top of the roof of the store downstairs i couldn't imagine why anyone would want to sleep on top of those uncomfortable rocks with his arms and legs all crooked and funny the next day i went back and saw that he was gone but you could see his bed it wasn't until high school when my mom was recalling a distant cousin of ours whose older brother committed suicide did i realize it was him my mom was surprised i remembered it so clearly good thing i was innocent enough to save myself of years of psychiatric help yay for asian families that never say their problems until it's too late a tl dr i witnessed a suicide and didn't realize it when i was about five my parents took me to spend the day with some family friends while the parents were outside eating drinking and doing other parent-wife things us kids were upstairs playing some bart simpson game on anez the other kids two boys were a few years older than me so of course they never let me have a turn at the game after listening to me whine about it for a good half hour or so the two boys promised that they'd let me play the game on one condition as soon as i asked them what i had to do one of the boys got up left the room and came back with what i thought was a large silver bullet in his hand the other boy dropped his pants and underwear and laid on the ground with his bare butt sticking up into the air as the boy holding the bullet started pushing it into his butthole they looked at me and said that if i let them do this to me then i could play the game the whole thing freaked me the freak out so i said that i didn't really want to play the game anymore and bolted outside where the parents were years later i realized three things one the silver bullet was probably a corn cob two they would probably have tried using their dongs on me instead of the corn cob three i could totally download that game and play it now without having something shoved up my butt tl dr i almost got butt deboche because i wanted to play batman meets radioactive man [Music] had a friend in sixth grade who i used to hang out quite with frequently i always went to his house because he had all the cool toys best games and his mom never cared that i basically lived there i knew his dad lived there too but he worked weird hours and was never there when i hung out one night i went to hang out and his dad was there he made a point to come into my friend's room like every five minutes while we played street fighter then the last few times he wandered in the room in his underwear my friend started giving off this really weird vibe and so did his mom i was too young to pick up on it but thinking back on it as an adult they were both acting strange the time came for me to go home and my friend's dad came over to help me put on my coat he began massaging my shoulders from behind and complimenting me on how strong of a boy i was he then leaned down and kissed me on my neck i looked at my friend and he looked like he was scared my mom pulled up and honked the horn i said bye to my friend and ran out the house he didn't even say buy back he just turned around and played sf as i ran out i heard mom and dad arguing about him being out of line it was also one of the last times we hung out every time i tried to link up with him from that point he was busy didn't think anything of it until i was older that my friend's dad was probably physically shaming him tl dr in sixth grade i hung out with my friend and his dad made a pass at me daddy was probably a diddler that really sucks i hope your friend is alright somewhere hugs not so much shocking but i grew up in a town with a coffee factory when it was going to rain or began to rain you could smell coffee because the fumes got caught by the rain clouds thus my child mind thought that whenever you could smell coffee and you were outside it was going to rain a few months back after being in another city studying at university for about two years i smelled coffee outside instinctively i said rain's coming everyone looked at me blankly and i explained then it clicked it doesn't happen everywhere just in my town i felt stupid but after i explained everyone thought it was a pretty cool thing about my town that is really cool i wish everywhere was like that my parents had divorced when i was six months and both remarried by the time i was two parents had shared custody mom's fs dad's without fail never slept in the same bed more than 10 days in a row until i went to boot camp i was seven or eight before i realized most kids only live in one house all the time i remember feeling sorry for them because their parents weren't divorced and they only had one mom and dad and one house that sounds pretty dang wholesome the nuclear family is pretty unnatural it takes a village to raise a child etc even with sane parents it's awesome to hang out with other adults who care about you just to get in a different social space when i was about 15 i was very innocent and naive our family friend's daughter was not she pulled me aside at a gathering and after offering me a smoke i declined she thrusted out her school bag doesn't it smell like we she asked i sniffed and it smelled alright i couldn't see the problem years later i realized she'd said weed yeah found a bunch of water balloons in the drawer in the sink of my parents bathroom my friends and i had giant water balloon fights and it took about 10 years for the moments to smack me against the face and what those really were sadly the worst realization i've come to was that my dad didn't just get really tired and mean at night in fact he's an alcoholic and always has been i've always been amazed at mean drunks my alcoholic dad got mean and screamy when he was sober not when he was drunk i had an uncle james he was probably my favorite uncle coz he used to take me to the city and into the video game store i always wondered why he had such bad teeth and used to fall asleep all the time one day he came over to babysit i remember he was teaching us how to make fireworks and he just sorta left and fell asleep on the couch i was about eight my sisters four and three yep turns out he was as a junkie my parents had some friends over to play cards i told someone that i thought my mom had nightmares at night i told them that sometimes i would wake up first in the morning before anyone i would be very quiet so as not to wake anyone i would normally turn the tv on softly and watch cartoons until someone got up some mornings i would hear my mom moaning because she had bad dreams the person i told this to thought it was very funny and i did not understand why a bad dream was so funny i told my mom that he was not a very nice friend when i was young foursquare during recess was the crap during the games when you beat someone the natural taunt at the time was the cross chop while shouting suck it no one really understood it but saw it in wrestling as a sign of dominance so basically there were about 50 kids going around telling other kids to suck it while all the teachers watched back in kindergarten when my baby teeth began falling out i came home excited one day with the plan to trick the tooth fairy using a tooth like rock i had found on the playground feeling like a boss i explained my mastermind plan to my mom and put the rock under my pillow before going to bed i woke up early and anxious the next day to find a photocopied one dollar bill under my pillow troll mom for the win i used to watch ren and stimpy religiously when i was a kid and never understood why my dad laughed randomly throughout the show after watching it again as an adult i realized a crazy demented humor thrown in for the adults that kids never pick up on same with all the puns and political jokes in pinky and the brain when i was 12 years old i lived in nyc and walked to the corner store by myself a guy walking across the street crossed to my side then started following me i was scared so i started running and he ran after me at the corner i fell down and he laughed and left cut to five years later i go on a blind date with a guy he looks familiar so i ask him if we've met he says he's pretty sure he chased me down the street one time it was totally him the freak my family moved to hamburg germany when i was around six or seven we lived in a fairly safe sheltered neighborhood but occasionally we would go downtown for whatever reason for the fish market for the subway i forget sorry my memory sucks and i often spaced out colon one time while we were walking around in the downtown area i saw the scratch card dispenser slot machine type thing that had a really pretty red-haired lady posing provocatively in her underwear on chessboard pats and bed sheets on the cover it said something roughly along the lines of the prizes a chance with this beautiful girl i had no idea why this lady would be considered a prize even though she is indeed beautiful however because she was laying on chessboard pattern bed sheets i thought that the reason people probably wanted to win the chance to meet her is because she's actually really really smart the winner would get to have deep conversations about the meaning of life various scientific matters and then they'll play rounds of chess or checkers together three years later we moved to the united states i forgot all my german and ended up taking it as my foreign language class for high school our teacher assigned us to research on various german cities and i decided to pick hamburg researching on the internet i learned that hamburg is famous for its red light district and that's when i suddenly realized though they didn't want a winner for chess games up vote for provocatively when i was in like third grade i was spending the night at my friend's house and we had discovered boobs.com well this computer was facing the door and that night we were looking at the pictures his dad walks in to tell us that dinner was ready my buddy immediately turns off the computer using the button and turns around and says the sims isn't working i am sitting there crapping myself while his dad gets this weird smile looks over his shoulder and yells down the hall to his wife hey honey did you hear that the sims isn't working at the time i thought it was odd that the dad made the sims not working seem like such a big deal but didn't think much of it i thought for years that we had gotten away with it until i replayed the events in my head recently i had a jungle gym type thing with a river floating tube wrapped around it that i would jump up and down on it would always feel really good because i would face the bars while i jumped up and down and it would feel better and better and then all of a sudden the good feeling would suddenly go away then when i got older i realized i was masturbating by humping a bar tl dr i would masturbate at a very young age and never realized it for quite some time when i was a kid my mum and her sister took myself my siblings and some cousins to the pool we'd have been aged 5 10 years old a great time was had by all but when it was time to get out of the water one of my female cousins had what looked like a gigantic ball of snot in her hair my mum and aunt were really freaking angry so angry my cousin started to cry they called a lifeguard over and were pointing out some old guy who seemed to be minding his own business just paddling about in the shallow end the rest of us were sent off to get dressed but i couldn't understand what the big deal was it's just not it will wash out it was many years later before i realized it probably wasn't snot i was shocked when i realized that adults do in fact get weekends my dad started his own business when i was one and he didn't take a weekend off until i was 12. on the first day of intermediate school seventh grade my science teacher told us to look around the classroom at our peers after a few seconds he said at least one of you won't be alive by the time you're 18 at the time i thought it was a puzzling and silly statement but it turned out that at least two of my classmates did get killed during high school i always thought my dad hated it when i would go out with non-church friends but dad would always drive and pick me and friends up from parties every week at 12am never question what i did or what happened at the parties still to this day if i get caught in the city with no way home been drinking etc he'll pick me up no questions asked then i realized that i had a pretty sweet dad i was just young and stupid when i was a teenager when insert random friend who dropped out of high school parents would let him do anything he wanted not shocking i know but it was kind of why was i being such a dong when i was younger moment we had a dog when i was really little like three or four his name was jacko and i loved him dearly though my mother wasn't the biggest fan as he bit not only her but also my sister and brother after biting my brother for the second time mom decided jacko had to go and he was adopted by some family that had a farm many years later i'm 19 or so my sister and i are discussing jacko and she says to me yeah after a year or two i finally realized that they didn't really send him to her farm what i was honestly totally shocked what did they do with him sent him to the farm in sky and then i proceeded to feel extremely stupid for it taking 10 plus for me to not realize the truth but be told it poor jacko when i was a kid the guy who came to install the satellite took me on the roof with him and kept hugging and kissing me and calling me his girl i knew it was creepy but it took me a few years to realize i had been physically shamed she did the same thing to my younger brother when i was like seven years old my parents bought a new camera it was the first digital camera i had ever seen and it was beautiful i could take pictures and if i didn't like it i could freaking delete i.t science anyway i thought i'd be a super spy and hide the camera under my 17 year old brother's hat in his room and set it to record being a kid i waited about five minutes and out of pure excitement for the potential rang back into his room and snatched the camera he didn't even enter the room bolting down the stairs i dashed up to him and said in my most trollish voice tehe i hid a camera in your room his eyes widened he picked me up by the collar of my shirt and i to buy he said don't you ever think about doing that again i will kill you i scampered off crying tl dr i made my brother freak the frick out because he thought that i taped him masturbating he takes his masturbating quite seriously to give you a death threat i see the vegetables in my dad's room was actually weed my mom told me to not tell my teachers about the vegetables also i used to think that cats were girls and dogs were boys cats are girls and dogs are boys when i was eight years old a man came into my classroom to test the students they were starting a program called tag talented and gifted that would help to nurture the best and brightest among us possibly even leading to skipping grades needless to say the situation was tense i had just been told there's an ru smart test and i was about to take it an old lady walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water the bartender takes out a pistol and points it at her a little later the old lady thanks the man pays him and walks out of the bar what happened in between that was the riddle i had to solve by myself on a little sheet of paper if i wanted into the smart people club i thought i was good at riddles but there just wasn't enough information in the riddle to answer this one after five minutes thinking about it i gave up a few people around me had done the same thing but a lot of them were smiling with answers already on their pages the answers were collected and i obviously didn't get in it was only a few weeks ago on reddit that i found out that the riddle i was asked was actually an entirely different sort of riddle than i had ever heard of before in order to solve it you're supposed to ask yes or no questions of the riddle asker and through that process you're supposed to narrow down the possibilities until you find the answer the guy who gave us that test didn't know that the kids who got it right had already played the game before i never got into tag and for most of my life i thought i was stupid because of that so yeah my story doesn't involve a lot of freaking or jokes and it's probably going to be buried but it shocked the heck out of me yes now all those kids are doctors working on hiccup cures when i was really young i used to think every time i watched a vhs that the actors would get into my tv and act out the whole movie again i used to always ask my parents if luke skywalker and han solo would get mad at me for making them do that i used to think that old movies were in black and white because that's how all movies would eventually become over time i remember seeing movies like jaws and e.t and being like wow these are old movies i bet they'll be black and white soon that's awesome if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] do bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 16,711

Rating: 4.9158878 out of 5

Keywords: shocking, shocking moments, shocking reality, shocking realization, adulthood, adult life, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2020

Id: MRzY9e8ptLk

Length: 24min 48sec (1488 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 25 2020