What Are Red Flags For Room Mates? r/AskReddit Reddit Stories | Top Posts

what are red flags for roommates in my experience if you live with a stranger then sometimes there's a mutual understanding to be on good behavior you may never be close but it may not be an awful situation either sometimes it doesn't work this way but in my experience it does a surprising amount of time if you live with a friends expect every one of their flaws to go up by a multiple of at least 5x they always are down to drink guess what your house is going to be a party house is their car a mess guess what your house is going to be a disaster is there homework always late don't be surprised if the rent is late too and with family make that 10 20 x i knew a guy who always on the lazier side that moved in with his cousin he then proceeded to stop paying rent and looking for a job be very cautious moving in with family edit i realize the example i gave don't always correlate such as people with a messy car having a clean house my point was just that whatever character flaws they have usually become exaggerated as a roommate [Music] mom moves him in while he watches mom sets his room up while he stares into his phone mom shops grocery and cooks it for him while he complains he's hungry mom fills the fridge with pre-cooked meals while he eats mom cleans up everything and leaves congratulations now you're his mom edit to be clear i didn't do anything for him i made it clear that regardless of what he thought i wasn't his mom and the lease bring what it is it lasted a year this was years ago back in college days and i'm a parent now it does take a conscious effort to break away from doing things for your kids because it becomes such a routine so i can empathize to a degree but by the time you're in college you should be able to survive if you're dropped within walking distance of a walmart and thanks for the world if there's small enters the room before they do and sticks around after they leave differing political beliefs i'm not talking oh i disagree let's have a slightly heated debate those roommates are cool the ones i'm talking about are the if you don't agree with me you want another holocaust people oh man i have a couple all gained from painful experience if someone before they live with you constantly comments on how clean your someone's place is when in reality it's just normal and not that clean at all take this as a sign that you have very different standards of cleanliness by a little more personal but if the person has a history of many friendships lasting less than one year without excuses like moving or switching jobs or seems to have a long trail of people that they no longer speak to or all their old friends are described as crazy psychos or seems like the greatest person in the world but inexplicably has no friends whatsoever if someone tells you who they are listen for example when my old roommate said casually in conversation yeah my mom and my sisters don't think that i'm capable of feeling empathy like i'm a sociopath they used to say that a lot the same roommate also once told me that she's never felt guilt before and didn't know what it felt like she's almost 30 she also had a restraining order served on her a couple days after she moved in red flags if friends of your potential roommate come to you and ask you if you've really thought this through and mention that maybe you don't know this person as well as you think you do listen to those people if you've noticed that this person doesn't seem to respect the property or personal space of others those are the biggest ones i've experienced similar to a romantic partner if all of their previous roommates were crazy inexplicably hated them force them to move out sociopaths [ __ ] satan worshippers that's a huge red flag when they bring their dates back to your room without telling you in advance then lock you out in the hallway so they can have privacy kind of too late to call but if there's a fight or move in day the whole thing is going to be a fight also if one person tries to impose a cleaning schedule or rotation these things are always doomed for disaster i find because then there's documented blame to go around if one person slacks off even if it's for a good reason overloaded with schoolwork extreme bout of sickness works 12 hours day etc finally if she disappears for four hours and returns bragging about spending dollar sign 200 on professionally done glue on nails one day then has her grandparents over the next day bringing food because she's broke she has absolutely no understanding of time or money and will not be able to empathize with you when you say you can't afford the 10 it costs to buy a pack of toilet paper because your part-time walmart job barely covers your share of the rent in your bus pass she will also eat your food despite labeling and try to flush hard stalks of celery down the toilet okay now before i make my final decision i uh i just want to make sure our personalities match okay so i made up a little test now i'm gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind i can do that okay here we go pillow fight very good okay g string excellent okay um doggy kitten oh sorry no no no so close though but bye bye if a potential roommate says they expect the apartment to stay presentably clean that's a good thing but if the potential roommate says that and lives in a style runaway happened to me and turns out the guy never had to lift a finger cause his mom and then xgf would always clean for him so he expected things to be clean but didn't expect to have to contribute and would give me attitude when i tried to push him to do his share his retort dude with all due respect i agreed to live with you so you should appreciate it by doing the cleaning my retort dude with all due respect grow the duck up or move the duck out i'm ashamed to say that he got another girlfriend and she did all of his cleaning we stopped fighting about it and they are still together so great friend it run mate i'd live with her again though she liked to bake if your cat loves them more than it loves you do they have no friends do they have no friends and insist on a curfew did they move in with a barbell and 45 plates but the whole house is hardwood floors and they live on the second floor are you dropping weights on the ducking wood you idiot have they suggested everyone throws money together for a house gun in case of ghetto stuff the trash is too heavy to take out female roommates will do this is their limited fridge space and suddenly their duck buddy just moves in and needs seven different kinds of mustard do they try to duck the other roommates while they're so is gone are the other roommates too awkward to actually say anything they're a couch guy is the couch guy always able to find money for booze and weed but rent is always an awkward conversation are they struggling with their sexuality are they taking it out on a roommate of a different gender did they threaten to call the cops on a house party that hasn't even happened yet every time i have accepted food from someone in a living situation it comes to bite me in the ass beware roommates bearing gifts [Music] if someone decides the best way to communicate is via passive aggressive posted notes placed strategically about the apartment then you should consider finding a new place i'm talking about you shoddy drinking habits are a big one if you have a roommate who's alright sober but always a problem drunk consider having to deal with that every time i've had rumors who were great except their drinking was too much another is expectations my old roommate thought we'd be that household that goes out every weekend and has grill nights i just wanted someone to pay rent while it didn't cause major problems with me our third roommate was roped in a lot of social events he didn't like and caused a great deal of tension unable to hold a conversation that doesn't involve a quote from a will feral movie draws a line across the room this is my space and that is your space if you ask if he's ever lived with a female roommate in the story ends with him dragging that [ __ ] bed out to the driveway and setting it on fire [ __ ] tale two horns calls himself satan this is very minor compared to some of the other things in this thread but it has prevented me from committing murder ask if they own any non-stick cookware if they do ask to see it if it's not all scratched to hell it's probably safe to leave yours in the kitchen for shared use otherwise if it has a single scratch in it or if they don't own any yours needs to stay under lock and key looking for a pen in my underwear drawer if someone tells you they had a crazy roommate they had a crazy roommate if someone tells you they had 10 crazy roommates in a row they are the crazy roommate this rule applies to exes as well if they don't have the same cleanliness standards as you things will be a little rough it will eventually lead to either someone doing all the cleaning work whoever the cleanest of the bunches will lead to some big argument as things come to a head unfortunately for me i had this chameleon of a roommate he changed his habits based on the laziest person in the room when he and i first moved in together we both kept things very clean and i thought we had similar standards because i had seen where he lived before several times then our third roommate moved in who is the dirtiest person on the planet basically we let him move in as a favor to him because he needed a place to stay and we thought how bad can it be it was ducking awful my original roommate basically stopped cleaning because so and so doesn't clean either making things two to one against my standard of cleanliness which is a pretty average normal standard demo the house got so disgusting that my girlfriend basically stopped coming over because of how gross it was i eventually confronted them had some huge shouting match because one of them got their egos bruised and the friendship hasn't been the same since i stayed until 11 p.m cleaning that place on the last day there simply so i could get my security deposit back they had left at like 3 or 4 p.m which led me to another point if possible don't be the one who put up the security deposit that person is the only one who has something to lose based on the condition of the place if possible split the deposit equally while talking to you looks at their ringing phone and says i'm going to ignore that it's just a collections agency unable to smell talk understand social cues can barely ducking vocalize unwilling to clean and keep their it on their side of the room doesn't have a job and isn't looking for one their home or room is a big mess this is based on my personal experience in their ad they say they are no drama if they are really no drama they won't have to announce it man ladder children they're easy to spot and must be avoided or you'll hear things like i shouldn't have to pay rent i only stay in my room after catching them red-handed preparing and eating my food well i thought it was okay now you gave us food last night or my favorite every time they heard a lighter flick they'd be in my room in less than 30 seconds oh are you gonna smoke a bowl can i join coming on your face while you sleep i like to party occasionally hope that doesn't bother you means i play loud music and have people over all the damn time alcoholic these people are rough to live with one of my roommates a few years ago was an alcoholic and not in the i have a few beers with dinner on a tuesday way i mean she would guzzle full glasses of gin and tonics every day of the week to the point where she couldn't bike home and i would have to talk her back to the apartment at 2am when she called she purposely did not eat in order to get as wasted as possible and would vomit clear liquid that turned the toilet bowls a weird shade of grave left too long if they are not mature and responsible you're gonna have a rough time it sucks but be as incompassionate as possible this same roommate got locked out one time it was new year's eve i rushed home to let her in from that day on she lost her keys an average of twice a week and would call me drunk off her ass to let her in if i did not instantly drop everything i was doing and rushed to her age he would call text and facetime me until my phone battery died never lost her wallet credit cards or bike lock just herpes best roommates are mature competent and leave you alone anxiously scroll through comments to see if i'm a bad roommate worries about my clinius worries cause i don't have any really close friends in college right now worries because i don't really have a life outside my own they have no sense of personal space whatsoever they leave dishes lying around if they want something they could care less about interrupting you to get it they bathe with the door open they threaten physical violence when annoyed they're mean to people in the service industry cats are terrible roommates and one of mine is really mean to the vet if a group of children ever gets real quiet investigate immediately i had a friend who said her roommate would keep use tampons in the living room by sticking them to the wall and would then reuse them at a later date treats his her parents badly or really treats anyone badly edit i suppose i should have said unjustifiably badly when your roommate has turtles now my whole fridge is filled w kale and my living room filled with dandelion plants sos funny guys stay clear of those if all of their social media consists of pictures etc of the violently intoxicated at all times if they have nothing nice to say about all former roommates it's likely that this person is the reason those situations were the way they were a red flag roommate can be someone who is probably going to go to prison my girlfriend's best friend signed a lease with some dude who's going to court in october for a driving on revoked after his second dui and multiple assault charges people who are coming from mom and dad's house for the first time you just never know what they're used to having other people do for them people like me who come home drunk very early in the morning when you have finals and piss in the sink actually look at their job history a lease is a commitment if the individual only holds jobs for a couple months at a time and is constantly bumming smokes and eating all your food after you ever so graciously smoke their bum ass down with your weed they're probably not a good choice pick someone smarter cleaner and more driven than you as a roommate as grandpa used to say hang out with people smarter than you you could learn something tldr you are the company you keep oh man i've had some bad ones if they immediately want to become your best best best friend like they have no life outside their own and no one to talk to it's cool if you're friends with your roommates but it shouldn't be forced if they're a day or two late on rent or utilities which does happen and you confront them and they are crazy defensive about it like geez dude was just reminding you anyways it's usually because they can't pay it cleanliness dear god make sure it matches if they're obsessed with a plate or two of yours being in the sink when they see the place it's usually because they are the bigger slob in my experience ask about their jobs and how long they've worked there if they're constantly switching jobs don't do it if they are looking for a place to move it tomorrow or next week they'd better have a good reason why it's so quick they're probably getting kicked out of their current place which is what was happening with my last roommate also even if you're not the landlord and you are just looking for a roommate you should have it written somewhere in the lease or sublease about how you breaking up utilities with the roommates i don't care if they're your best friend partner or a craigslist roommate i learned that one the hard way some tips in most states provinces you can look up the criminal and civil court cases by name for free it won't help avoid the messy or annoying people but it could help avoid the non-rent pairs look people up on facebook you will learn a lot about them try to meet their friends because these people will inevitably come around to the house some people clean up nice for the meeting but their entire social circle are party animals druggies it's better to go a month with no roommate than to get the wrong roommate people who don't understand why or what the point is of cleaning up after oneself it's a sense of entitlement when they don't do it it'll become worse moro sorry i forgot bc you will be the one cleaning up after them you are not their caretaker they are an adult if they can't keep their space clean or even wash their own dish after using it they probably can't wipe their own ass right so they should stay w their parents who will deal w that you don't need to clean after another grown ass person i seriously hate people like that i wonder how they can even remember to breathe at times for duck's sake so far there's a couple of funny guys in this thread funny guys pls go if they sound or act like they could be annoying trust me they will become unbearable if they smell or aren't super clean they'll become a pig after two weeks if they usually ride on friends money and company they'll never take responsibility for everyday tasks finally if they have a girlfriend boyfriend take note because this could mean they're out all the time or you get to hear millions of phone conversations it's easy to spot red flags after someone moves in but spotting them before can save a lot of hassle for rent security i'd look out for prompt communication when setting up meetings and viewings someone who can communicate on time is more likely to pay on time for finding out if they're going to do things like leave dishes in the sink don't ask if they're going to leave dishes in the sink ask how they'd feel if you did that if they have a negative reaction or a seem uncomfortable that's a good sign about cleanliness ask a couple questions about conflict resolution if we have a routine established but then my job changes and suddenly we both need a shower at the exact same time in the morning how would you address this what have been points of conflict with other roommates in the past what roommate situation has been easiest for you in the past see if their responses are similar to yours one person's ideal roommate can be another person's nightmare even if neither is an [ __ ] and finally my red flag for people who are controlling demanding and manipulative if they answer questions with questions don't want to talk about themselves or are intent on controlling the conversation by asking too much too personal too fast without allowing you to ask about them these people are just trouble i'd avoid them they're the type when you ask them if they would mind turning their music off earlier or using headphones or turning it down after a certain time will reply with why are you so demanding how come we have to do it your way they take any request for change on their part and spin it into you being unreasonable avoid if she tells you she once got high on heroin with a former student yee that was a fun year she smoked crack saturday evenings in her room had various guys over almost every night and would get ducked loudly no basic hygiene skills the kitchen was a disgrace i'd find some new drug addict asleep in the living room most monday mornings have a gaming pc you'll know he will stay up until late morning disturbing your sleep edit many people got upset because of this comment i apologize it's just based on my experience and wanted to share cheers my nightmare former roommate seemed like a nice enough guy when we met he was working a professional job looked put together when we met and generally gave all the signs of a well-adjusted twin tissue something when we met then on the day he moved in he had no one to help him move his stuff into the apartment there are very good reasons why this might happen to someone new to a city for example but this guy had been living in the area for two years his elderly obese mom had driven two and a half hours and she was the only person who was going to help him move the lesson here is that if someone doesn't have friends they can rely on to help them move they are probably the kind of person who burns bridges that's what happened with this guy he ended up being a total [ __ ] but that's a separate story a red flag with a white circle and diagonal swastika if the house is cramped and cluttered when you first check it out and they say oh so sorry for the mess it's never like this it's much much worse than that all the time they spent hours cleaning to make it look that good source i moved into that house and it was disgustingly filthy all the time don't move in with alcoholics you will either hate them or become an alcoholic if they don't pay you back for small amounts of money or are awkward when they do they may not pay their bills in full or on time one lived in a converted bus on site in the country how eccentric i thought two had a very offbeat name for being an older white guy three was not overly interested in being sociable but hugs you when you leave you two are a guy and you just met four smokes a ton of weed but won't talk much about it or imbibe with you 5. so vegan he doesn't like tofurkey in the fridge six incredibly nice but at the same time oddly distant seven has odd but interesting pictures on the wall one old film portrait of a young indian girl clearly in india posing but looking slightly confused and vaguely afraid eight estranged partially from children and ex nine has a room with filled with nothing but random brick and brac sp 10 he was not suspicious at all your first meeting but soon acts untrusting thereafter without cause these were a few of the things i overlooked he turned out to be a paranoid schizophrenic it got weird fast also other roommate seems real cool has lots of friends admits to doing coke on occasional just recreational run don't walk he's almost definitely a piece of it when they ask hey do you mind if i cook meth in the kitchen on weekends if you are discussing prior roommates and they only have negative things to say about everyone they've ever lived with that is your cue to run away it's like the old saying goes if you smell it everywhere you go check your shoe i've had numerous roommates in my past that were the quick to complain about how messy and awful their last roommates were and how they never cleaned were disrespectful only to have them be the biggest pigs on the planet the reason why it was always messy is because nobody cleaned them included [Music] you

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Id: lvHgOmY4nRs

Length: 24min 45sec (1485 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021