What Secret Will You Take To The Grave? r/AskReddit Reddit Stories | Top Posts

nsfw what secret will you take to your grave [Music] riding in the car with one of my best friends he suddenly has a very distressed look on his face and frantically starts stuttering about needing to find a restroom i will never forget the sound not 10 seconds later of emitting himself in the driver's seat i laughed my ass off all the way back to his house i promised i'd never tell anyone we had an old cat growing up named tuna he was 16 or 17 and had a long and happy life but was really deteriorating my mom did not want him put down as it was her cat and she seemed to be in denial about how decrepit and near death this cat was one day she comes home from the store and my dad kami tells her that he found tuna dead under a tree in the sun she was happy he died peacefully and on his own terms what she doesn't know is that she actually ran him over she was leaving for the store she obviously didn't feel him under the tie but my mom killed her cat and we all lied about him dying in his sleep junior year of high school my class was registering for next year's classes so they brought us down to the computer lab but there weren't enough computers for everyone knowing one of the council is very well she has me use the instructor computer at the front of the room well just so happened that another counselor was logged into that computer so full permissions so in addition to registering for next year's classes a couple of my b's turned to us from past classes a few months later i barely beat out a good friend for a scholarship because my gpa was slightly higher when our family cat of many years died dad insisted on putting it in the trash with everything else to be hauled away whereas mom and i pleaded to no avail to bury it in our backyard as i've noted here once before he remained adamant and wouldn't allow it at night i went out and removed our dead cat from the trash and gave it a proper burial in a remote area of the backyard and placed a small grave marker over the spot where it's interred dad will never know in dutch when you boil an egg and then place it into cold water to make it easier to peel an egg it's cool to scare the eggs one day when i was about six or seven my mom asked me to scare the eggs so little joker i was lifted the lid of the pan and yelled b-o-o-o my mom cracked up and has been telling this story ever since for over 20 years she's come to love the story and still truly thinks that i wanted to really scare the eggs truth is i knew what scaring an egg meant and only wanted to make her laugh because she was in a sad place and time back then it's made her laugh for over 20 ducking years that means it's the best joke i've ever pulled off and i'd die before i let her find out i was just kidding edit two letters edit two thanks fellow human and egg lover for the gold now what do i do with it edit three holy it my top comment by far is about my joke that entertained my mom for 20 years and is still going i have mixed feelings about this because i believe my previous top comment was about my female roommate thinking she was in trouble because of her internet porn searches best friend told me how much he hated his girlfriend and that in two weeks when he completed his move he was going to break it off he died the next morning she'll never know how unhappy she made him [Music] the wife of a close friend knows that the friend was closeted and was gay before they got married she believes that she is the only reason he decided to be straight instead she admitted this to me on a 12-hour road trip once and then realized she'd said too much and swore me to secrecy i didn't tell her that before getting married the close friend admitted to me that he wanted to be gay but that he never dared to out of fear of judgment of his rural conservative family he almost didn't get married because he didn't think he could pull it off but it seemed like that to save face with his family they have been married over 20 years now my sister was an extremely conservative stuck-up christian in high school she was obsessed with her purity and purity culture in general my junior year of college my phone broke and i had had to use her old flipped phone from high school until i got a new one i found her nudes that she was sending to older men and what they sent back i also found texts of when and where they planned to hook up as well as her prices no joke i threw up in my mouth then took the phone outside where i smashed it with a sledger hammer and through all the pieces i could find in the local river edit a word i got my cousin pregnant but she had a miscarriage we haven't told anyone nor will we ever that one of my deceased friends constantly cheated on another he took her virginity they were together for a while she loves him and part of her still does he cheated on her non-stop they broke up after a while and he later passed away in an accident her and i got clothes and i never told her because it wouldn't do any good getting out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel i tried to fart in that onto the carpet i let my roommate find it and hope that she would blame it on the cat she did in fact blame it on her cat and i watched her clean up my poop mess my wife shall never know i put a video of her snoring on youtube that i absolutely hate my wife's special casserole i stomach it down with a smile because she and our kids love it how much i actually dislike myself no one really knows the extent hopefully my browser history way back about eight years ago when i first started dating my now wife she was extremely shy about her body and was very reserved because she had never been in a relationship once night while i was over she said she was going to go take a shower before we went out to eat about 10 minutes after she left her room to take the shower i heard a sound from the bathroom i got up and knocked on the door and asked if she was all right and got no answer i waited about a minute yelling to see what was wrong and decided i had to check on her to make sure she was all right i opened the door and she was laying on the floor of the tub passed out with the shower still running i picked her up and carried her to the bed and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her and tried to wake her up after like 30 seconds she regained consciousness and asked if she had managed to put the towel on herself before she passed out i lied and said she had it around her when i found her to make her feel better about it i know it doesn't change a whole lot given that we have been married three years now but i'll take it to the grave if it gives her peace of mind i once lost one of my friends dogs for a few hours the first time i was watching them this was after she grilled me on how they need to be leashed at all times apparently they don't come when called if i answered this it would no longer be a secret i took to my grave that one time i got busted for weed in college and the police department forgot about it and never followed up on it or put it on my record after explicitly stating they were going to do so i made a girl come in class we were watching boy in the striped pajamas i try not to think about this everyone in my family including my siblings and my dad's mom believe my dad died of cancer he really died because he got hep c from iv drug use and later developed cirrhosis of the liver when my dad got sick my parents both told everyone it was cancer it wasn't until seven years after he passed that my mom told me the truth in 2008 i became a cna with hopes and dreams of becoming an rn however after four years i left the profession the story i tell everyone is that my ms made the job too difficult to perform that is not the case the real reason is that i developed a morphine addiction after a bad accident and had started to steal the meds from the residents instead of disposing of them after they passed away i left to get treatment and didn't go back because i didn't want to fall into that trap again i am now five years clean i threw away my friend's game boy advanced sp when i was younger growing up we both played pokemon emerald and fire red together on our gamma boys i had a ds with the gameboy cartridge slot and he had a standard game boy the years passed and we stopped playing pokemon every essentially banishing our gamma boys to the dusty realms of the closet shelf when i was 13 or 14 i stole my friend's game boy because i had sold my ds and pokemon cartridges i wanted to relive the early years by playing some good old-fashioned pokemon one day he mentioned how he wasn't able to find his game boy and asked his mom if she had done anything with it i pretended to be equally interested in tracking down the missing game boy even though i knew damn well it was sitting at my house i started sketching out about him finding the game boy when he was at my house so i put it in my pocket one day walk to the public library just outside our neighborhood and threw it in the trash in the bathroom i couldn't bear with the guilt of telling him that i had stolen it from him so i tossed the evidence we're both in our 20s now and he still brings up from time to time that missing game boy he says dude whatever happened to my game boy it has to be somewhere in my house i should find that for old times sake he shall never know about the heinous crime i committed all those years ago edit apparently i'm a piece of it and my friend knows and is trying to get me to confess this happened almost a decade ago people i'm 100 positive is missing gamboi is one of the last things on his mind that one christmas a younger female relative of mine and i were fixing our hair in the bathroom and she asked if i wanted to make out with her she was pretty high but i ignored the request and have never brought it up again i talk about it on reddit where it's anonymous but i never speak about it to my friends and family in real life basically my heart is still completely broken from the fact that my only serious relationship didn't work out i was such a bad partner and father figure so it's good it didn't work out i was just making a mess in their lives but at least once a week i spend time daydreaming about them and wondering how they are doing my ex's kid should be looking at colleges this year assuming he goes he was a smart kid no reason he shouldn't i wonder if my ex ever went back to school to get a degree like she'd mentioned a few times i wonder if she got married or is with someone long term or if her and the kid just settled into their own little family i know it's not healthy to obsess and i can't really change the fundamental stuff about me that made me a bad fit for them but it can be kind of comforting to dwell on it from time to time when i was 15 i was walking through the woods and saw my principal having a jerk-off session under the trees no one would have believed me so i said nothing but god damn it mr mccann i know what you do in your spare time obvious throw away i work at an investment bank however to get the job i had to do a variety of assessments which among others included an excel modeling test now i'm quite experienced with excel have built lots of complex financial models but what this task involved was to make some corrections to a very poorly built financial model not intentionally bad just whoever did it didn't know their stuff well they leave me in a room with a laptop to complete this task i open up the spreadsheet and have very little idea where to start this is just making no sense as i'm scanning through the tabs desperately trying to find things i'm able to do i noticed something saved on the desktop some previous candidates attempt to a save there well i opened it up and started copying what that guy had done and added a few tweaks of my own i ended up getting the job how deep the kinkiness truly goes that i called in half a day late to work one time said i had the it's and wouldn't leave home until i thought it was safe too in reality i was at my girlfriend's house 200 kms away getting a hand job i was using my dad's computer and it auto completed our city escorts i was 14 and had no idea what to do it's been eight years now so i feel it's kind of past the familial statute of limitations i took my grandma's extremely old sick and immobile dog by the lake and killed her lenny style she was a very sweet dog but she was in a lot of pain and very close to death my grandma couldn't afford to have her put down so i fed her some liquefied chicken and liver pet her as the sun went down held her then shot her broke my ducking heart but i couldn't have her suffer anymore she was a good dog edit to the people blowing up my inbox with vague threats and name calling go duck yourselves this dog did nothing but whimper in pain laying there on the porch struggling to breath for days couldn't eat couldn't move i gave her one last liver and chicken treat that she could taste and sent her on her way in the most painless and comfortable way i knew how my suicide attempts barrel of a 0.357 to the roof of my mouth but i could never do it something slightly more miserable about knowing you're too much of a card to leave the suffering edit coming back to this this morning was overwhelming in the best way thank you all so much thank you i wish i had more to say this isn't my story it's one my eighth grade spanish teacher told me like a decade ago we had a pet turtle who could escape the tank cage can't remember we had for him we would find him sometimes under furniture or crawling around the floor i was like eight or nine at the time one day in the winter we couldn't find him in his tank and we looked and looked for him but could not find him i was heartbroken i thought he didn't like me so he ran away my parents went outside to look for him but it had snowed so he didn't have much of a chance they found him out there frozen but didn't tell me because they didn't want to make more unhappy they told me he went to a better place or something and that was the last time i heard about it until after my dad died and my mom told me the real story several years later for some reason they thought maybe he was alive but just frozen like an ice block so they put him on a rack above the fireplace stove can't remember and tried to thaw him out they did this at night after i went to bed turns out you shouldn't put a turtle above heat source he thawed out pretty quick and then started to boil before he exploded and the shell slammed into the pan which woke me up that night i remember coming downstairs to see what happened and my family was freaking out they said they dropped something and spilled it all over the floor and had to clean it up i went back to bed not knowing they just tried to bring my pet turtle back to life from being frozen and blew him up instead that i'm not getting better with my depression i've just gotten very good at hiding it it's getting steadily worse and i'll most likely kill myself before i'm 30 24 now it's not even a dramatic thing at this point like i'm just so sad i just transitioned from not being able to convince myself that my life has any prospective value into not finding any reason to not end it it's been 15 years of not feeling any significant human emotion and i don't have any will left how the really nice tv my mom bought for my grandfather actually broke but she got an even nicer tv for the inconvenience so that's a bonus the excuses i make up to avoid social interactions my friends have told me this birthday party terribly sick phone died etc and i've seen them use them but i won't tell mine whatever happened to the money took the boat out with my wife and her parents we took a tube and a car charger air pump to inflate it my father-in-law who grew up on the gulf of mexico and i backed the boats in while my wife and mother-in-law took the boat out as we put the truck and trailer back in the lot as we were walking down to the dock i asked if he had a plug to plug the air pump into he thought i said did you get the plug like to the back of the boat he freaked out realized he left the plug out and we sprinted to the dock we ended up having to swim about 60 yards out to the boat as it stalled before my wife got it back to the dock we had to be towed back into the boat ramp it completely ruined the family lake trip and my father-in-law beat himself up over it for a couple of days he thought i was a hero for remembering the boat plug and my pride just can't come to terms with telling him that isn't actually what i asked i pray i don't know why i keep it secret i'm not even religious i haven't been inside a church in decades i have never read a religious text in detail but sometimes i whisper a prayer to anything that might be listening i give it names god allah odin because i'm not sure what i'm praying to i know it's probably wasted breath but i pray anyways in my teens i was playing some online game and had chosen a female avatar i am not female but i am of the would rather stare at a girl's ass for hours and hours than a guy's camp this guy started flirting with me and i just rolled with and it just kept rolling and rolling i don't know why i did it i'm most certainly not gay but even though i was literally catfishing this assuredly also poor team guy i enjoyed the time i roll played a girl i leave out the last bit when telling the story to my friends still feel a little guilty i just randomly stopped playing one day and never even said bye hope he went and found a nice and real girl he was a gentleman my father bought me a beautiful fender stratocaster for my 15th birthday it was unique and gorgeous i sold it to a guitar shop when i was 20 because i needed the cash i never had the heart to tell him i even found one exactly like it almost 10 years later after i had become financially stable i bought it in an instant he still thinks i have the guitar he got me for my birthday i still don't have the heart to tell him i may have inadvertently caused a close friend to commit suicide he was heavy into drinking and coke at the time and he started ducking around on his longtime girlfriend being close to them both i told her which eventually led to him trying to rope her into a murder suicide before settling on just killing himself not really a secret as i told couple friends back then although i'm pretty sure they won't remember it and i don't think i'll be comfortable telling anyone soon but at times i really wish i could when i was 17 i started online chatting with a girl who was 31 he met once after three months i actually lied to my parents said it was an online game meetup and that ended with a quick peck then after another five months or so i got my driving license meanwhile i drove two hours to a theme park where i spent what is still the most wonderful day i can remember ever having it sounds cheesy but it was just like a movie including a romantic lakeside and some panoramic kissing after that day things started going south for reasons that i now can see pretty obviously and then we stopped talking and i've never heard about her since it's funny most would think it was obviously going to turn out bad and i think i could see that too but it's still the memory i cherish the most my best mates fiance registered sign went on a hooker binge in prague weeks before marrying her he unceremoniously dumped her some years later she gave him everything and was essentially homeless and clueless why every time i see her i want to tell her but no good will come from it in junior high and high school a close friend's parents took me in i loved them all daily i was a part of many holidays and spent the night at their house regularly i was part of the family in many very real ways one day suddenly and unexpectedly her mom just passed away while on a business trip from a brain aneurysm these folks were saints i wasn't the only one they had taken in another guy was adopted at 18 years old by them as well they showed all the greatest kinds of love and kindness to me and him and anyone else who we knew loved and respected this family they never did anything to anyone that i knew of that wasn't genuinely kind and compassionate during all the funeral activity her dad obviously devastated and exhausted pulled me aside and said i have something i need to tell you but you can never tell my friend i think i was a sophomore in high school and nothing like this had ever happened to me before turns out the mother who was a mother to me as well had been having an affair for 10 years and thought it was a secret i didn't ask but i have suspected the trip she was on when she died involved this other person my friend's dad passed away this year and he and i never spoke of that conversation again or of his wife's infidelity i was helping my aunt move some boxes when she got a new house and i found a letter from her to my grandparents in ireland they wanted to wait to come to america when their first grandchild was born which was my older sister however the letter she wrote stated that my mom had cheated on my dad and the child she was carrying wasn't actually their grandchild and to wait to come to american when her son my oldest cousin was born six months later i'm not sure if any of it is true but i took the letter and never told anyone about it i'm a little worried to find out the truth [Music] i can say it involved forge documents and the catholic church ah alrighty then my story started with my bike getting stolen but it was not too much of a hassle since my mom had good insurance to cover it i got a new bike that was why i better than the old one and not even three days later i find my stolen bike the next street over i took my old bike slashed the tires and threw the bike into the harbor only for me to see it every time i got there seeing the rusting corpse of what was on my bike edit i did it because i wanted to keep the new bike edit too it's a bicycle not a motorbike [Music] i dropped my roommate's weed once when i was grinding it and packing a bowl i lost a good one stroke three of it he will never know my mom caught every single fake illness i had to get out of going to school as a kid i love my adorable crazy hypochondriac mama my granny blames my brother for my dad's accident he wasn't there he was 11 at the time but my granny said it was all his fault for changing his mind on what he wanted to do that day which then led to my dad's accident it wasn't his fault it was the fault of the woman not paying any attention and hitting my dad's motorbike with her car my brother doesn't know and it'll be a cold day in hell before i ever let him find out edit for clarification i don't want my bro to find out my granny blamed him i worded it a little weirdly originally it involves a coconut and a weird afternoon on reddit when i was young my class held a bake sale in which every child had to bring in some baked goods to be sold the money raised for some school project or another well we never done this before my mother didn't have a lot of close friends at the time so she winged it she made rumbles i'm not sure if you've ever eaten rum balls but they're not sweet and they have a peculiar rum taste not what you'd normally sell at elementary school bake sales all afternoon kids will be kids those rum balls were thrown tossed and squashed into the gymnasium floor parents bought them and gave them to their kids who had one bite and ugg off they went on their journey i didn't have the heart to tell my mother that people hated her rum balls i told her that they were all sold early because rum but in truth everyone hated them and they ended up everywhere but in people's mouths i found a suicide note that my dad wrote in his drinking days it was tucked in a bible on a bookshelf for some reason while my mother was talking to my brother in another room i just grabbed it off the shelf and found it i showed my brother and he got rid of it my father was a good man when he was sober in his last years but sadly he died of a heart attack a few years back i will never tell my mother i had sex with a hotel worker nice try i am in your pants or should i say my wife exclamation point i wanna get down with my aunt so bad not blood related her laugh is so sexy and she is so fine i creep through her fb pictures all of the time she has some in a swimsuit she's 50 right now but still looks fine as hell when her daughter grabbed high school people just thought she was an older sister the frustrating thing is that there are no models or stars that look similar to her she has a unique look my girlfriend now wife was my first sexual partner i lied to her when we met because i was insecure and also wanted her to feel more relaxed i guess if i had some degree of experience [Music] you

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Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit, ask reddit, askreddit, updoot, toadfilms, sir reddit, reddit jar, askreddit funny, askreddit dumb, reddit ama, reddit ask me anything, r/askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, askreddit scary, askreddit stupid, scary stories, askreddit new, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, askreddit top posts, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit stories, best of reddit, reddit best, funny askreddit, storytime with reddit, memes, r/

Id: JLB1MiY5F-E

Length: 26min 27sec (1587 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 27 2021