WADE NEVER WINS | Fall Guys

you got a nice crown for that victory too thanks you could buy those cosmetics you don't like to use yeah i'm okay you could buy a color no i'm already probably some fleshier colors you could be no i just i like this one for some reason it really speaks to me am i in the very middle i'm on the front left corner i think i'm on i'm if that's me in the no i'm not that's not me next to you all right you're off to my left out of my way oh my god screw this everyone just go jesus i am not gonna fight people on the tubes yes yes i made it out of my way out of the way i'm the best in a long time i made that cleanly yeah i'm in the lead group boys dreams are coming true oh my god i'm in a massive stampede of [ __ ] it happens happens oh my god where is everyone going oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh no are you kidding me no no no no i got bald into oblivion i didn't know that could happen i warned you about that exact scenario other guy with the weird oh my gosh i got i got i got this bone that's fine i believe a hard i see my path i think i'm just gonna make it 36th oh my god okay oh my god oh yes good good you got first i think so i was me and one other guy that were right there hell yeah man this is bodes well for your future okay all right i can do i'm wearing a gig yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah levels like this all day i will i'm not gonna go through the middle at that one part where i always think i can do it yeah right there in the middle i can't do it it's like not even worth it i think it would be really funny if we got to the end and just made a dildo wall on the last platform just about why does finishing first get me in the [ __ ] back clearly you are good okay why oh my god oh my god else whipped me oh my god well at least i'm here yes yeah oh no no no no yes no no oh my god get out of the way you dumb piece of [ __ ] god damn it everyone's trying to do the center okay yeah we're fine we're fine we're fine oh god there's a pigeon in front of me i hate pigeons oh my god oh my god what the hell what the hell did you just get eated i wouldn't get back up my character didn't get back up hey did you see those people get sucked out from under me yes i did yes i did oh my god oh my god bad timing good timing oh that's a big herd coming okay i'm just gonna get across the finish line oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god one of the [ __ ] got hit and it baseballed me into the [ __ ] outfield uh-huh uh-huh mark did you make it i made it barely i i just i'm on a [ __ ] parade i don't know what that means [Music] i don't know you're honest are you the one doing the [ __ ] what is this oh this one okay so you want to stay the edges and use the wedges as a little safety cover edge wedge got it how many fruit are we dodging a lot a lot very much oh why are you morons in front of me being idiots all right mark i'm coming in okay coming in behind you okay gotcha this is please don't fall down and ruin everything for me oh no watermelon oh my god banana oh my god you know your fruit oh my god mangoes one's a mango one's not an apple it's actually a mango oh my god oh my god oh my god let me through please please let me through i'm gonna make it are we all out yeah all right well i'll exit then what is block party oh that one looks fun it is fun i wish it happened more yeah there's there's so many things that i've never done what the hell which one's block party someone where the walls come up and you gotta go through the hole in the wall oh yeah yeah okay now it seems fun okay and exit don't forget to jump on that blue ramp mark you're gonna need to remind me i'm not gonna remember near the end when you're about to lose and okay when about to lose definitely do the thing oh god get off me your [ __ ] unicorns oh my god i'm in first place okay where do i jump where do i jump this is this one the big blue ramp the big blue ridge no not like this oh my god i'm about to get third place no way whoa you almost got yes hey you got like fifth place mark like yeah speed demons out here all done i don't know how to tell you this but i'm pretty good i'm pretty good oh no oh got the balls and we're facing the wrong way we're always doing that i think we have a pigeon on our team though that bodes well come on pigeon no okay that didn't really work the way i hoped it would no no okay no yellow [ __ ] there we go all right i got one in we got one solidly in yeah we got three in right now i'm just gonna play defense that's what i'm gonna do okay i got one solidly back in oh oh jesus this ball is on fire how did that go so high in the air i don't know all right all right blue's in a little bit of peril we might be able to steal one here from the middle trying to be a douche we don't have a lot of defense and a lot of people are trying to bone us at the moment but we're okay yeah we need to stay like an either we're in the process of stealing like two or three all right look you little [ __ ] unicorn oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh no no no i'm the problem i'm the part of the problem i was part of the prophet oh no i was part of the problem are we are we are we fine we're fine one ball solidly and one about to be stolen oh my god i'm being grabbed by a hot dog now i'm grabbing a [ __ ] five seconds where that's the end wait wait screw yellow screw yellow just don't you don't get any points yeah red red balloons we're good red's good red's good oh my god you're all all right got [ __ ] by a hot dog but honestly it wasn't that bad i would do it again circle really really give us a different game come on we saw those fun games that we didn't get to play i know they tease you with the good stuff and then they make you play fortnite over and over again oh my god we have an oven mitt on our team i know it's a pineapple but it like it looks like an oven mitt and i can't unsee that now i can't either it does look like an oven mitt push push boys oh my god oh my god we're in very last push we need someone to go [ __ ] all right we're pushing well if we can just get around this absolutely yeah yeah yeah go go expertly done all right go go go go go go oh no yeah yeah we can go oh my god that's the momentum we need some serious momentum with the jump dives yes hit him hit him hit him oh my god no no no no no no oh go get it over there okay you got it yeah yeah yeah it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's funny oh it's not sacrifice yourself why did we push it directly into them all we had to do was not go right with it i think there should be a rule no two ball ones in the same round this is not fun it's not fair there's so many other game modes that i know exist and we haven't played them oh now they're getting to do the block party okay and the one that i can't leave that we got eliminated from okay this is the jumpy one this is the one you jump on yumpy jumpy and i'm good i'm in the very back i'm in the pack of [ __ ] outside life oh perfect navigation also too man me also do my wide left baby why is this triceratops faster than me because he's better than you longer legs damn it hey what's yeah i do you know i do man always oh god oh god what is happening what is happening what is happening potentially right [Laughter] i think mark's losing his actual [ __ ] over there first what happened did you not finish no i made it i made it from second to like 14th or something why what did you do i got stuck in between the second and third ring i kept getting up and it knocked me back over like it was like and then a ball hit me and then another ball hit me and then the crowd came it was just like oh god damn it again oh man remember all those fun game modes oh no because we've never tried them oh yeah yeah no i love this one i'm gonna try doing the thing where i don't memorize at all i'm just gonna go where the crowd goes bold strategies oh you like that minions movie that's what that's what those are that's what those fellows say right okay apple watermelon actually mango apparently apple no that's far away oh i can't move oh my god everyone okay all is well orange cherry grape grape cherry orange orange which one which one which one which one which one okay oh my god there's a lot of us on here qualified right we're done hey yay i actually did memorize it so oh yeah did or didn't i didn't i didn't memorize where the apple thing or mango apple banana where's my guy all the way in the bottom right away from everyone what's wrong with me could we maybe see a different game mode no way tails slime yikes i don't think back in the middle of attack we gotta work for this oh my god they won't even let me get up oh okay okay okay okay oh okay me i hate people god great well having a huge crowd of idiots in front of you does block the balls from crushing you on this one section oh god stop oh my god you suck no [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] ass ding dong oh my god did you just grab me you [ __ ] you've made an enemy for life the top if you see that ninja dude grab him the one in first the one who stole every bit of my glory oh i'm grabbing a god i'm grabbing him grab him he's mine grab him i got oh jerk i'm gonna report him if any developers are watching me in my stream which i assume you are because i'm amazing find the person who was that ninja and i want you to ban them i am calling this right now because i know i have influence and power and i'm going to use it what if we just banned literally everyone that's not us for the game let me know let's do that developers you know who i am hey call me dm me on twitter i don't give up my phone number oh it's tiptoe oh wow i haven't played this one you know they disable some maps or something because i swear we're just not seeing some of them at all i was hoping for this uh guys are you guys ready for some awesomeness shloop oh well that was actually right all right wow wade's got the okay watch out for this pigeon he's the a-hole oh my god oh my god oh man oh my god you also you all suck oh everyone sucks turns out shockingly everyone sucks oh okay ah [ __ ] i thought that was good it was not good good job wade you got this oh no oh no knock some of them off knock many of them off i'm going for it it's me no oh bob did you not make it no it's almost like that one is an actually random chance and it's just waiting and it's such a fair fair game it's waiting and not being knocked off or grabbed oh god i wonder if i hope it's the tail one stop you i'm gonna stop you right there i hope i can only hope oh it's falling out in there a full mountain okay i see that you can do it friends you got it you gotta wave the [ __ ] hot dog i'm gonna smother my face into your hot dog [ __ ] that's weird yeah sorry it's a little strange weird kinks that's not really smash your face into this for me so i don't have to i'm gonna grab this guy okay i got him go wait watch out oh come on come on wade you can do it get him and stuff go go buddy mark that's not a good place to be ah he's fine i didn't expect to win i'm gonna get this speed boost damn it i got your strategy ah it didn't wait don't let the hot dog win i've got the middleware you're about to get like shredded i was trying to get the boost on hot dog one hey that's okay the hot dog that happened to have spawned five feet in front of me one by five feet i can't imagine why hmm i tried to grab them it just didn't work and then i got obliterated by a ball where am i out the back oh i'm very bad dead middle oh yeah very back all right guys let's do this i guess oh this idiot wasn't even moving oh everyone in front of me just jumped each other off so good for them why are you going this way why would you do this seems incredibly stupid all right i'll bite okay we're gonna go with the [ __ ] team this time oh no get to the middle get to the front get to the middle get to the front let me throw it let me through oh my god my path is clear i see my path i'm the first one yes [ __ ] who touched me who who touched me who touched me who touched me mark i can't tell if this is you there's a whole heart of you this time here barely god barely qualified bear who finished first me finished well done yeah yeah good job where did you make it no i got [ __ ] oh you want us to back out no no no no i want you to win oh um that's a lot of pressure let me guess tiptoe oh hey i haven't played this team to get completely jinxed or eliminated what wait what happens what's that what is that what how what is this what oh so someone is like purple glowy in the middle don't let them touch you oh no this is like your goal is to not be like infected oh okay it's like dodge the infection that's spreading oh god okay well don't grab me team mates why would you grab me what team are you my son i'm blue i'm assuming this is you running in circles on the ground by the purple ramp no maybe i don't know which the person who's infected on our end over on my end over here doesn't seem to be able to get anyone so this is kind of a low kind of a low threat i'm watching one of the blue teammates try to infect more blue that's not how that works oh my god people don't that's a yike for me dog uh okay you don't even come and spread it to the cooties get infected oh my god cooties down in the trench oh god oh my god oh god our teammates need to really go oh my god correct oh no i'm about to get cooties why no cooties for me please no cooties no cooties no cooties oh my god no cooties my god goodies i'm cootied i've got cooties hello i got one come here i got one do i have to grab the tools oh do i have to grab them yeah you have to grab them but i didn't know why is there a blue going after other blues what is wrong with you my god i didn't know you had to grab guys were you just bumping into people i mean i got infected way late but i thought i thought if you just bump into them you know oh they got block part yeah that's the third time today that block party has been the thing after we're all out how how am i supposed to know these things guys how do i know these things it didn't say in the instructions why don't you know stuff what are you doing i've never it didn't say in the instructions it said just last one to get jinxed you unbelievable dumb you didn't say in the instructions it didn't say can i exit i can read faster than any one of you any one of you yeah mark's read six books since we went live the middle front baby well not not as little as you i guess we've got this boys get out of my way oh my god that's not gonna work for me yes i am the champion oh just get out of my way oh my god oh no the best thing happened okay okay hey how's it going oh my god oh no no no no there's a jump there's a jump at the bottom of this there's a jump there's a jump hey i beat wade hey mark made it in look at us finisher oh no do you see this pink and yellow striped one who can't get through the gate they keep going oh they gave him oh no back and forth back and forth i don't know what to do i have totally been that person block party something new nope garbage tiptoe soccer it's going to be five rounds of tiptoe let's do this mark what have we learned wait for the right door don't guess no no i can't be it no well someone has to go first so i'm happy with that being you i guess okay all right i got this guys don't worry i'm i'm out i'm gonna have to win it bold bold makes the wins oh god i'm in the back this is good it's intentionally actually that's not that's not bad it's not bad not for this one all right let's see let's see i'm going to get lucky you're going to get lucky right now oh there's wait there's so many openable doors wait what less open each round oh i was already there it's not just one per level oh hey we're all right on each other please don't guys oh my god oh that's not the one that's not the one oh [ __ ] oh no why am i leading the way fine it's fine oh no i'm at the back of the pack it's not fine i almost leaped off the over the edge come on come on give me the one be the one be the one be the one be the one no no no no no okay can only be one of these it's dead oh my god i think i was just barely going to make it in we made it oh last one i think i was yeah i think it was literally the last one all right that was fun that's good hey waiting for other people to go first really worked really it really was right i did make a bold claim at one time that got me uh in first so that was that was good yay oh my god roll out i really messed this one up last time yeah watch this [ __ ] up again i'm going to lose one time we got to play i think we all died really fast yeah i've not died on this one yet but that's probably a bad thing to say okay mark how you doing i'm good man oh god if you go i'm out oh there's a huge gap there i see i see what your concern is about it's not the thing no it's not reality this isn't real i am i'm i'm dreaming you're all right mark i'm fine did you really die instantly hey i for some reason i i forgot that you can slide off of things so you just like let it kick you off slowly no i left uh literally off the edge and tried to land on a vertical platform before it was even up i didn't need to go i could have waited and i didn't you just gave it up huh i uh you know i am block party ah like someone just kicked him in the kidney all right wade the key to this one is hugging your friends all right so you just come here we just give each other hugs we'll be safe cool no we just give each other strong hugs and we'll be so safe oh see how great we are you see how safe we are wait wait give me a hug come here baby oh hat give me your baby oh come here come on hug hug daddy wait is this the [ __ ] buddy please come on see the key the key is the hugs the hugs will keep us safe see how safe we are why do you think i ran so aggressively what are you doing i don't know dying horribly here see give each other a little hug i give you a back hug i love back hugs oh oh oh oh oh this is nice oh okay everyone group scoop the [ __ ] away oh god first of all hugs oh wait oh wait wait wait wait wait wait oh okay all right hug me no please hug you know you know i've got the scoops don't you want to hang out with the one who's got the [ __ ] oh god oh my god okay wait do you want to hug do you need a hug i just want to stand you need a stress relief hug oh where you at buddy i glitched into the floor and died oh that sounds like you really needed a hug this one looks really fun guys mark this one's so fun yep oh hug me fake mark i i'm there with you in spirit hang on i gotta i gotta go discipline i gotta discipline my chat real quick you think no hang on you think you you you you think that this makes you better than me you're wrong i was seeing so far into the future that i was two steps ahead of everyone that i anticipated a move i needed to make before it happened because that's how intelligent and big brain i am cease you're yammering i am the streamer now i am the one who sees into the future it's me i love you never you hi i'm back i did now hey bob good job i did it oh no oh boy it's uh okay i'm in a slow play i'm gonna use my stratagem oh i just i have to peek sorry oh good moves though oh oh nice oh no oh got it back oh no oh well that wasn't oh who got it what the hell all right all right guy number seven hot some hot action some hot action spicy spicy hot ah the toucan the toucan who can hide got to the top and was like oh yes hey yes yes yeah almost [ __ ] that you can't oh no yes maybe take the shot no no no no no i thought someone else had it excellent excellent excellent routes excellent excellent routes the smoothest pathing in the game oh cut the corner excellent routing excellent excellent routing what oh get the nasty thing get the fleshy volcano monster get the 1990s dinosaur get yes yes excellent yes yes oh that's my first win ever ever ever full skill baby all skill all skill all day long i almost vomited up my lungs oh i almost ate it yeah wait side your turn yeah i've seen your path it's time it's time really it's my time now now is the time you guys really believe in me we don't just believe in you i've bet a lot of money in vegas on you like a lot of money you could have just given me that money no you were never to get any of the money i've just bet money on you so if you win i win a lot of money and you get the satisfaction of victory but if you lose i am going to steal your kneecaps oh that doesn't sound good they're pretty worn out and bad but if you want them like that's fair that's fair trade fair why suddenly names uh on the screen now if you left trigger you can turn the monitor oh my god yeah it was just like fall guy [Music] hey god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god thank you okay oh don't touch me oh someone got launched perfectly that they're very happy about that probably oh okay okay okay oh god yes yes yes beautiful beautiful run beautiful ride cheeseburger person oh my god stupid idiots are going up the middle path what a bunch of why am i under the ground what happened to me there what happened to you i don't know i was just the dream run wade come with me be with me wade how do you [ __ ] the solid second place finish here all right i'm uh also coming here excuse me mark come here what's happening today bud hold me oh not you hold me i'm holding you all right oh i apparently shove you into the finish line what are you doing oh my god wait get off come on wait come on i'm dancing give me a hug oh yeah all right guys maybe maybe get in maybe okay for some reason i didn't know there was a baby jump in this game i went to jump one of the platforms and just my my poor kneecaps that mark's gonna take just didn't work i'm only gonna take your kneecaps if you don't win that's the only thing so win well i did how many do you have to win not to win the whole you have to win the whole thing as long as you don't get any team games i feel pretty good hey a team game oh it does say ground it does say grab don't grab your own team if you're infected you [ __ ] maybe maybe it's a strategy to get infected early so you can start interacting with play aggressive yeah maybe we should do that let's try that i'm gonna try that okay grab me okay i've been grabbed i'm gonna go start infecting right away and you're getting grabbed i grabbed one good work good work nice nice nice another where we are and we are in the lead excellent excellent this is excellent i'm gonna get really dizzy here oh grabbed okay get him interesting interesting strategies we have a we have a teammate hot dog chilling okay i've grabbed like four people already got one and there we go oh he fell down get him get him how's he not grabbed how has he not been grabbed oh my god get over here get over here he's infected he's infected we got one here there's one on the other side of this ramp where oh my god oh my god no wade this isn't my game mode is garbage wait wait that wasn't my fault all right all of all of my money oh i i bet every cent i've ever made it was a team based game i didn't lose we lost that's true you did contribute to the loss mark yeah but it's my money and it's your kneecaps yeah isn't it against like major league falls guy knockout rules to bet on games this is esports all right i i'll i'll do one more just because that was really pathetic and um i actually called up the the office of bets the bet department and they said they'll they'll let me because that was really that was really pathetic all right my kneecaps have one more chance also my shorts have ridden up to the point where i feel like i'm wearing a thong i need to fix my shorts there we go excellent all right this is going to be the one right way this is it victory i taste it i taste it too i feel it i feel it too creaming down the nip mountain i cream it too front and center front center baby back oh who's grabbing me oh god oh i should have been committed oh my god oh my god i was apparently on the good side oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god it's such a fight through the doors open the door is a victory for me why are you not changing your trajectory wade uh yeah oh hey stop grabbing me oh okay oh man it's getting chunky oh my god no no get up get up get up get up okay we're all here together in this yeah bad crowd of [ __ ] go team go team i just uh got booty bumps right into the oh my god oh my god oh my god oh [Applause] i am so sorry for the things i've done what have i done to deserve this oh my god no you ninja pieces [ __ ] okay it's fine it's fine are you guys still doing all right yeah we're fine kind of we're going to you pigeon dumb [ __ ] oh god damn it all good in this neighborhood my dude live for me my friend we will live for you i am currently alive for you i am pleased with your god oh my god that was that was definitely wade's fault i i leave space between me and the person in front of me but not behind no hell no whatever happens behind me is their fault fair enough okay mark you got this just don't be an idiot no i would never mark that was stupid oh no it wasn't it was go all right we have a three and 15 chance of pulling victory out wow no we don't are we all dead i probably didn't oh i i thought you made it oh no a pigeon slapped me into the abyss oh i'm sorry well we have a two and fifteen oh it's here all right wade this is all you baby oh this is it this is gonna be that front you're in the back center that's my back right i'm in the worst position you got this way you got this yeah i feel like this is fair to exist there's a i have a fair chance of winning go mark i am go oh good i got [ __ ] by a pigeon dude you can do it i'm already doing it i'm already doing it yes you are oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god so much anymore oh my god uh yeah this went a little off kilter but that's okay is that you and wade on each other yeah yeah i'm gonna grab this guy just let the ninja mark what looks correct look you oh you you're mr outman me mister wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait i've got a phone call yeah no i i no i mean maybe i can get another chance please i don't want to have to steal my friend's kneecaps his elbows too no please they're not good anymore his knees are bad please his teeth too all of his outer appendages well you'll forgive my you'll forgive my debt you'll forgive my debt you'll forgive my debt you'll forgive my debt okay all right wait i think you might you should move on does mark know where you live has he been to your house you know everything's good man hey can i i miss you i i miss you so much i want to come see you like immediately against my better judgment i'm willing to accept this all right cool just meet me halfway okay meet me halfway like in the middle of the desert preferably no deserts in ohio preferably like nevada and just let's just meet like on a farm even better a secluded farm in the middle of the woods hey that's great middle of the woods what kind of farm what are they growing there woods trees all right cool i'll see you soon man listen i need you to keep this hush hush between wade and i he doesn't know the truth he doesn't suspect a thing but we know we know what to do with the people that disappoint us we won't let them do it again and if a debt can be forgiven and all it needs is a few kneecaps what's a few toes between friends [Music] foreign

Channel: Markiplier

Views: 3,409,453

Rating: 4.9627776 out of 5

Keywords: fall guys, fall guys game, fall guys markiplier, fall guys funny moments, fall guys crown, fall guys win, fall guys winner, fall guys fail, fall guys loser, markiplier, muyskerm, lordmininon777, mark bob wade, collab, multiplayer, fall guys multiplayer

Id: v9pJhhW3n2g

Length: 37min 36sec (2256 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 31 2020

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