Using a Battle Simulator to prove USA is better than EU

today we're going to use totally accurate battle simulator to find out if America or Europe are better at Warfare because I've created an app that will pick two random viewers one American viewer and one European viewer who will each build a custom army using a budget of seven thousand five hundred dollars and then fight them to the death the first team who can win eight of these battles is officially the greatest region of all time and they'll make George Washington or Julius Caesar roll over in their graves with pride and throughout today I just want to remind everybody I'm gonna do my absolute best to be unbiased I am American obviously but I will not have any bias as we go through this how dare you laugh at the national anthem get them out of here mods America took you to shut down [Music] God Bless America and now we will watch the European national anthem but the battle begins the first general representing America is covert gaming and the first European is Cecil three now we're gonna do this in a nice Fair historically Accurate Way which is a coin flip heads is America tails is Europe it's Tails Cecil let me know who you want on your side of the battle Da Vinci tank for Italy Da Vinci tank being put on the right side of the board boom gigantic thing that shoots cannonballs in a big circle covert gaming the American General how do you counteract this only the god-loving God fearing Musketeers God bless you George Washington Knights wait do you want these guys I think these are French nope just the peasants on foot okay cool American raw a classic American Battle Cry God bless the Second Amendment then something Norwegian like ice arches totally accurate then two British Hobbits the first battle between Americans and Europeans begins in three two one go it starts off with a massive volley I think you might have already killed Da Vinci no Da Vinci is still alive in his tank he's gonna start shooting cannonballs meanwhile the knights move into the back line of gunman okay Knight trying to take out some of the Musketeers Americans use the Second Amendment harder they're still reloading their guns all right shoot the knife they missed okay that guy's dead there's still ice archers in the back we're taking out the Musketeers okay it all comes down to this da Vinci Tech this guy's shooting a shield on fireballs okay just shoot him in the head just shoot Leonardo da Vinci oh they shot him they got him okay DaVinci's dead Leonardo da Vinci's daddy lunch comes down to the archers who are shot by the Americans let's go huge win for the USA well time to move to Canada yeah all gun stretched Second Amendment General number two for America is dude man RB European General number two is Oliver 1726. ironically the year that America was founded hello okay dude man choose the Army first what do you want Let's Get Some Guns a small line of Musketeers let's get a da Vinci tank totally new invention The Da Vinci tank is a famous invention that came from George Washington gun Stingers Americans like guns okay more guns in the back line Europeans be nice when defeating those Americans they can't afford the healthcare when they get hurt okay we're gonna be fine ascending into battle against this team I want five French Musketeers poverty has created Hobbits I'm pretty sure that's hobos don't talk about our Hobbits like that they're beautiful American Hobbits putting troops in dangerous ways so American I want to counter Da Vinci tank wow I can't believe Europe stole our invention The Da Vinci tank I want a line of archers I want two nights or one okay a night up front and then I take away one of your archers the good news good news you do have room for one Hobbit this is America vs Europe round two two suspiciously similar looking armies kill the night Hobbits dude this is a classic battle oldest time let's see who wins no let's scream Europe and chat the hobbits drip on the knights The DaVinci tanks firing each other the Gunslingers back here do kill the night the hobbits are now moving forward towards the division take they should be taken out by the tank behind them Gunslinger is moving up can The Archers move on them Musketeers still alive in the back Gunslingers from America DaVinci take on your upside is taken out but shows it on the American side it's down just to guns and archers oh no the government they're trying to reload but they get shot in the dick America might lose this there's still so many archers left but this Gunslinger is hiding behind that oh wait The DaVinci takes live we still have Da Vinci we still have Da Vinci Da Vinci's killing the Europeans USA The Archers The Archers can't take down Da Vinci and America wins it Leonardo da Vinci Saves America oh let's go kind of rigged I don't know how our Da Vinci lived through that one not biased Europe will live I think the hobbits are still alive because they have free health care next general from the Americans is pleiodarath in the next European General King Lucas was Zeus American I'm pretty sure Zeus is an American invention can I have three Zeus in all Hobbits three Zeus in all Hobbits this is just like the Battle of Waterloo boom boom boom Oh you know who this is Nikola Tesla and his brother and his dog okay Nikola Tesla and his many many children Tesla's European Tesla's American Tesla was Croatian yeah that's a that's a city in Ohio Europe what do you got now I'd like as many hoplites as you can give me dude you were gonna stab the absolute [ __ ] out of the Nicola Tesla's children you still have enough money for three Hobbits do you want your Hobbit Sweeping in from the rear or spearheading the charge what is more European in your brain the most too European thing is to spread them out as far as possible okay I'm learning so much about Europe today America versus Europe round number three go the hobbits jump onto the hobbling open the minotaur's charge back onto Zeus they're killing Nikola Tesla in the back line and the Hop lights are stabbing all of Nicola Tesla's children the hot boys are still alive and the minotaurs are distracting Zeus long enough that that we're gonna come over here and stab Nikola Tesla okay Minotaur is still distracting I think the Europeans might pull this one off two zeuses are left okay they're stabbing the [ __ ] out of him okay but this juice is now working on one of the hobbits he's distracted okay wait the minotaurs I think that one Zeus is down it's all down to Nicola Tesla's dog he might actually be able to take them down he does chain lightning maybe maybe they're close they beat him okay he got knocked over and he's punched again literally might come down to the one Hobbit the minutes are down the juices almost killed them America okay they're dead too it's literally gonna cut down to this the Minotaur has to kill Nicholas that's his dog [Music] who punches him in the dick wow such a close fight Europeans clutch it that was like one hit off man one hit off wild did Europe just commit to war crime by killing unnamed American children now those children were Croatian and while the Americans licked their wounds and play in their next battle it's time for us to talk about a very similar battle the battle for hell in today's sponsor Diablo 4. as a kid I absolutely loved the Diablo franchise and the concept of hell and I am super stoked that Diablo 4 is now out Diablo 4 is an action RPG game where you fight hordes of demons across a sprawling open world and feel like a total badass the entire time there are five different classes you can play which all have unique play Styles and then each class has a skill tree that lets you completely customize your build and it is done incredibly well my main character is my Barbarian who's nearly as buff as I am and I've built this combo for my fights first I leap into a group of enemies boom then I ground stop to stun everybody around me double boom now I use my double swing which cleaves the enemies in front of 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to the boss I've had a blast with this game twitch chats had a blast with this game I know you have Arachnophobia but stop trying to teleport home and you can pick up Diablo 4 now on PC and consoles and in Hell using the link in the description thank you again to Blizzard for sponsoring this video I really appreciate it and now let's see if the Americans have come up with the perfect strategy to beat the Europeans Europe your next general is purple Can America your next general is kazamin88 cozuman sounds suspiciously European cosmen you might need to say something American in the chat to let us know that you're not a European spy live in Missouri and on chickens okay yeah you're a hot blooded God-fearing Freedom drinking beer loving American Europeans don't even know what chickens are all Farmers with one brawler you're just throwing out your army right now that's a bold ass American move we don't even care about the counterpick [Music] dude look at that American ass farmer Army maybe some Comey Farmers I think ten Europeans should get a free healer every turn look we have the freedom to not have adequate health coverage okay you're just jealous wheelbarrow and more communist government wait hold on what do you mean by more communist government like all all wheelbarrows are two okay two wheelbarrows Zeus for Greek Brothers okay tossing Zeus into the mix boom that's gonna work really well against those Farmers Zeus was well known to Smite farming classic Missouri communion how are you going to stop a Missouri Army like this one of the guys even has a huge head Europe is [ __ ] three ballisters I heard they were really fun to have sex in where would you put the penis the farmers rush in the wheelbarrows rush in they all start clamoring around each other wheelbarrows are just kind of running around I don't think they're actually doing anything anymore their wow took out a couple more the farmers tried to pick off the wheelbarrow Riders but in the back lines Zeus is picking them up oh no Deuces oh that farmer really needed to kill him right there Zeus is doing quite a good job killing all the American farmers it's all down to this guy you can do it you can do it the bad news everybody America Has Fallen our next American General is sad sick toaster our next European General pug Army let's go sad I can feel the American Spirit coursing through your veins yo I'm from Norway so I can only use Vikings that's true Vikings are coming to play against the Americans also I just need to say this Denmark sucks oh a little bit of infighting in the uh European team you still have about 200 free dollars so I'll give you a couple of Viking Hobbits America what is your counter against this all viking Army loud and proud strategy four firework archers oh that's good that's good little known fact Americans actually invented the bow and arrow in 1776. three quick draws a couple Dynamite throwers as many cactuses as humanly possible now that's American Americans let me hear your Victory Screech go Europe except Denmark Europeans let me hear Victory Screech except Denmark and we begin round five go oh my [ __ ] God okay the Valkyries fly in they're starting to attack the cactuses the dynamite seems to be uh not really working on the Euros because the ice is counteracting it your elves are now moving into Oh I thought we were gonna shoot him why didn't you shoot the yarls God we got [ __ ] why is his head so tiny maybe the tiny head will Dodge the ax it's all down to this cactus oh hahaha you can shoot a viking why didn't our guns work next American General meme is Beast next European General castlevan seven Europe you won the last one two Reapers the rest Ninjas Oh going for the reaper strategy why is Europe not just sent some box ships to colonize America again classic European ninjas we have classic European ninjas and terrifying like death Reapers I believe these are Scandinavian oh this is the Black Death you're up sending the Bubonic plague over to America meme is Beast what is your army to fight against this two mammoths and get the Black Death you dumb idiots mammoths can't get Bubonic plague snake archers oh really smart snakes can't get the bubonic plague we will send those mammas back to the Ice Age okay I'm gonna be honest I don't know who wins this one battle number six We Begin the mammoths charging the Reapers immediately wait this is the Reapers immediately stabbed the hall to the mammoth Go mammoth oh they have ninja stars all over their poor bodies and they are not dead yet famous need to take out the Reapers quickly Reapers oh man is already dead okay two reapers are still alive the man with these four on both okay wax them with the side give the snake archers back here but are the snakes even doing anything all three birds are still alive the ninjas are gone he's moving forward they need to shoot him down now oh God they need to shoot him there's so many snakes on his little tendrils this guy has to do it oh another sad moment for the American Mammoth Americans we gotta pick it up George Washington Danny DeVito Hugh Hefner and The Rock can you hear me your boys took a hell of a beating that's all right America's best when we're down for the count look George Washington did not win the first couple battles of the Revolutionary War he had to get his footing and then he brought in his new lieutenant Ben W 888 I am Ben Franklin thank you Ben Franklin everybody knows that George Washington was losing the war and sleeping in Ben Franklin but meanwhile the Europeans brought in their own General God's teeth we got teeth all right well hold on these teeth might not have a good strategy two kings ten sirisa one's use one ballista the rest are shield bearers Sam okay come on America we can't let these milk drink his beat us we are Marika we never lose milk drinkers Ben Franklin how do you counter this dynamite throwers and dead eyes okay going back to the explosions and guns okay the Europeans using their mix of different cultures and Military techniques and on the right bunch of [ __ ] chicks with guns chicks chicks American damn you American your abundance of explosives there's no way we lose this one right can I get a cakeona and chat brother let's go if you survive the drinks or on me God bless you Ben Franklin America needs to win on the board let's go this is Battle number seven oh immediately the dynamite throwers holy [ __ ] is anybody dead okay the Gunslingers are all firing their Cuts we've had both Kings still alive and Zeus they've got to take him out quick one king is down the Gunslingers are working keep shooting okay King takes out but Zeus is also taking oh Jesus Americans we gotta learn how to reload our guns faster I don't know don't worry get you a Sam Adams on me Ben European magic beats American Guns every time European magic look you're about to witness the magic of Jedi weirdo on the European side Connor Beau 94 what do you guys got I have a proposition for you Connor okay is there a little parlay Happening Here interesting yes sir monoi mono all Hobbits it's Do or Die interesting strategy Americans proposing a 100 Hobbit battle to the Europeans deal this is how historically accurate battles were meant to be played a duel of honor and Glory also one thing I wanted to say Europe should have been the Queen Elizabeth oh you're just gonna take that Julius Caesar battle number eight the hobbits just go oh it's so laggy it's a frame rate of like two okay let's dig in there a lot of Hobbit pain happening a lot of bickering and fighting and I think I just saw one guy give the other a wedgie not even clear how they're killing each other they're just kind of slapping that's just gruesome look away if you're sensitive to violence is anybody dead yet how long are we gonna be here the game is barely functioning there's a couple of dead bodies on the ground mix of red and blue okay we're seeing more dead bodies starting to pile up a bit these are the sounds of war war never changes this is exactly what it was like at the Battle of Waterloo so beautiful it sounds sexual no it's it's it's heroic oh right in the face okay the numbers are starting to thin I'm seeing a lot of blue Hobbits okay we have a small American cluster over here but this whole side is like all blue how are we losing this bag that doesn't make sense there's like twice as many European Hobbits left how did this happen you made one mistake yeah how are there shows from the Europeans trusting a European oh [ __ ] the ultimate it is the exact same Army the European ones were healthier yeah these ones didn't have health care we were too drunk our next American General Mad Dog 425 in the next European General Enis smedden Lily pindus a classic European name welcome chat Salute Your General Enos you're up first what is your army three Danish mammoths let's go oh [ __ ] okay what is your strategy I'm hiring the Vikings to fight okay Americans are good at anything it's paying people to do stuff for us 14 Berserker three long ships and two Valkyries wait these don't really seem like Mammoth counters that's all right I trust you I always support my general people are saying mammoths can't hit Valkyries the Americans finally figured it out a battle is all this time American Vikings Danish mammoths let's go Hobbits jump in the Valkyries move in the mammoths charge and knock out the boats the boats are just [ __ ] okay uh this is not looking good for the Americans but at least our Valkyries are alive okay the valkyrie took out one of the mammoths it's all just Valkyrie I think if the Valkyries oh we won we won American [ __ ] win let's go so American ass [ __ ] right there nice clean Victory not even close even though you killed everybody in the first three seconds knew that hiring the Vikings was a good idea all we got to do is just hire other people the next European General Robin is here exclamation mark Europe you're in oh [ __ ] I suck ass at Taps oh you're gonna do great man dressed you're gonna just shoot him okay our next American General is Dragon four forever yo yo seeing um George Washington give me the sub nod and say yo we'll never not be funny I need some fireworks oh let's go firework archers get two dragons classic Americans Joe Biden here the whole country is watching just wanted to drop in to say thanks for representing our great freedom freedom to take over dropped fees and billionaires to evade taxes can't spell Europe without a w um then Cactus for the rest and fill with Hobbits okay the Americans have an army of cactuses dragons firework archers and a couple Hobbits Europe what do you got two valecki's two minute holes two volumes some matches in the back lights in the front and hobbies for whatever is left Europeans will win so hard Americans will demand a recount I know a battle As Old As Time archers and hoplites versus dragons and cactuses begin dragons immediately shooting fire out on the mentors but they are swooped up into the wood and the [ __ ] is happening why are you up there one of the other dragons Okay dragons are not work that well minotaurs take it out the back line but they do have fireworks in them meanwhile the dragon's flying around the archers back here just have easy open shots and the hobbies are working their way in what is happening to our Dragon firework archers are still trying to take out the Minotaur because the dragons are distracted of all the hobbits okay there's still a valkyrie puppies this dragon flies Okay the minotaurs are still just wiping through everybody in the back these things are unstoppable maybe these two firework archers will kill everybody maybe there's one firework Archer will kill everybody it's just this person oh never mind dude the minotaurs the minotaurs destroyed us all thanks to Magic Hat there are literally zero hats on your team wait I guess technically the Valkyries are wearing a hat we all know that I'm being unbiased today but let me just remind Americans of something something that I think we've forgotten today the Declaration of Independence the unanimous Declaration of the 13 United States to America when in the course of human event it becomes necessary for what people to dissolve the political bans which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the Earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of Nature's God entitle them a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation we hold these truths to be self-evident we will make an army of all Musketeers and shoot the [ __ ] out of the Europeans amen and that bumps the European score up to seven with the Americans only having three if Europe wins this next point they win the entire War the European General is lowest and the American General [ __ ] Europeans pick Army first pirate Queen historically accurate European Pirates Pirate Capitan Three Cannon two bombers the famous European Pirates are coming to play enough fun all Reapers oh [ __ ] after you guys sent the Bubonic plague to us the Americans can send it right back at the Bubonic plague beat European Pirates did you know death is American I will now read the European Union treaty in two one he's our binding start attacking the pirate Queen the captain is knocked down wants to know one Reaper's already down they're being shot by the Cannons it's all to him stay alive Mr Reaper how decisions between the EU and its member countries America and with that it was better at War than Americans congratulations Europe Canadians in chat are you gonna keep hanging with us are you gonna bail over to Europe now you're just south Canadians Canada is our hat and Mexico is our beard and Puerto Rico is our in a decisive Victory the Europeans disease-riddled Pirates destroyed our Bubonic plague and crushed America in the tabs tournament even though we were drunk and watching football and drinking Freedom rigged and so after a quick Hobbit boxing match Frodo versus Samwise kmg everybody knows Samos game she's American oh [ __ ] right into the face get up you can take him punch his dick oh boy oh you I think they grab they're literally going for the parts the Americans finally conceded the war and per our agreement the Europeans officially took over my twitch stream Europe is now the main character sucky to Americans hey I'm the main character right why is that dude still talking hey Europe Dug Dug here love the content maybe one day I can be as big as you thank you amused chatter for the five dollars I literally could just leave I hear some sort of mosquito chat can you stop it I am an adult man Canada we can make a pact let's talk about it don't take our hat from us

Channel: DougDoug

Views: 3,266,859

Keywords: DougDoug, DougDoug Youtube Channel, Channel Youtube DougDoug, doug doug, twitch, twitch chat, dougdoug twitch chat, twitch chat plays, dougdoug twitch, tabs, totally accurate battle simulator, dougdoug clips, chat tts, america vs europe, diablo

Id: EmoTycnwYOY

Length: 24min 5sec (1445 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 29 2023