Unethical Life Hacks That Save You Money (r/AskReddit)

ah / ass granite what are some unethical life hacks NSFW as a man go into Victoria's Secret and try on panties right at the display guaranteed they kick you out while you're still wearing a pair that you can now give to someone I'm not sure if I'm that committed always look like you belong somewhere and you can get away with most things walk purposefully keep your head up and say good morning / afternoon to people another great thing to do is learn to look busy people will always leave you be if you look busy try to do this in New York City so we didn't look like tourists first guy we saw walking out of the subway station welcome to New York have a great time here no clue how he knew we weren't wearing any logger clothing or anything looking too purposeful real Myers are jaded sometimes it's easier to say sorry than to ask permission welcome to corporate America why spend hundreds of millions staying in compliance when you can just pay a couple million dollar fine when you actually get caught is it cheaper to let 8 people die and to pay off the class-action lawsuit or to recall our product when I go to baseball games I buy the cheapest ticket / tickets possible in the outfield nosebleeds bleachers etc an hour also before I leave for the game I will get on Ticketmaster and find a seat that I want to sit in usually behind the dig out I write down the section row and seat number usually a couple of different seats for back up and sit in the empty seat when I get to the ballpark using the ax like you belong trick I will usually ask the Usher where so-and-so section is before they can ask to see my ticket and they let me right through I also have a screenshot of my seat of choice on my phone in case they want to see something a lot people have digital tickets on the phone so it's not unusual this technique is a lot easier when a team you want to see stinks I do this a lot at hockey games too I do that too but you gotta make sure no one bought the tickets later or it's going to be super awkward when you're in someone else's seats and you have to awkwardly walk off haha some years back me and a few friends were going to a baseball game while we were tailgating a heavy rain storm rolled in causing a delay to be announced we continued to drink in the truck an hour also later the rain stopped so we went inside we had decent tickets on the lower level first baseline but towards the top of the section since the stadium was empty we decided to sit in the first row right behind the dugout after the first inning a guy showed up with a few kids with tickets for the seats we were in so we moved up a couple rows after the next inning someone else showed up with some friends with tickets for those seats we moved back a couple more rows upon seeing us move a second time the first guy went to the Usher and complained that he didn't think we belong there the ushe looked at us then proceeded to tell the man that he wasn't allowed to bring his own snacks and made the man literally take candy out of his kids hands and walk it to the trashcan on the concourse the usher did not however say a single word to us thanks cool guy an usher wherever you are way to give back to the little guy the dedicated fans who waited out the rain delay and were cheering our team on and even more it--on for punishing mr. Fink and teaching his kids a valuable lesson to mind their own business too sometimes if you lie about yourself to girls they'll let you acts with them has to be the right lies though like I'm sensitive and I'm definitely interested in a relationship not lies like I've never been caught wanking in a public park or I'm not currently being monitored by authorities for previously wanking in a public park no I just like to wear the Fitbit on my ankle it's not a monitoring device on a side note I want to miles according to my Fitbit it's illegal to punch a ten-year-old it's probably not illegal to pay another ten-year-old to punch the ten-year-old edit okay I get it it probably is illegal but is it legal to pay a ten year-old to keep his mouth shut while ten-year-old isn't responsible in most countries paying to get someone beaten is but who are the cops gonna believe some ten-year-old that just punched another ten-year-old or an adult a lot of these posts are less unethical life hacks and more criminal misdemeanors I worry about that distinction getting caught that's the distinction at the movie theater use the self-serve machines by a kids ticket it's like $4 cheaper and they don't ever check they are not paid enough to care source I wasn't paid enough to care OMG when my buddies and I worked at the theater in college we were the worst employees ever we let all of our friends in we let everyone from our doorman I'm pretty sure that nobody who lived in our dorm in 2002 2003 ever paid for a movie we'd let in all the people who worked in the mall food court and they'd steal food from their workplaces and give it to us in return we would get hit house tour not in a break at the Red Robin across the mall parking lot we'd order one order of fries to split between like five dudes bottomless fries right then we'd slam like 420 ounces each and finish it off with a shot of rum Plemons because it made your breath smell like toothpaste sometimes we'd get ass it started and then just go to the bar on the clock one time we were joking about it while at the bar and the bartender was like are you guys getting ranked on the clock and we will like ducky err and he was like what does your boss think about that and I said why don't you ask him he's right there he was getting Runk with us we used to bring gallon jugs of Carlo Rossi wine we called em boom jugs and pour it into cups from the concession stand and stand there drinking while we took tickets one of our guys did coke in the projection booth once and when asked why pointed out it was his roommates birthday his rumor didn't even work with us there were two gay dudes who were dating and they ducked behind the screen all the time we used to smoke pot on the roof god I could go on and on I would say that we were lawless but we had one single rule do not disrespect old man Stan oh dude had been in the business for fifty years and was the closeted gay man he tolerated our shenanigans because he liked having college boys around to look at we tolerated his occasional slightly creepy ogling because he'd let us show up an hour late Runk and still give us a full paycheck that was simultaneously the best and worst job I ever had want to get that mole looked at but don't have health insurance shoot a homeless guy you'll get free health care while you're in prison does he have to be homeless not sure how his status factors in here could he be middle class instead easy target out in public so you will be arrested quickly call in sick a few hours early then come in anyway and say you took some pepto-bismol you'll look good with the boss unless they shed you'll someone else to cover you then they'll be annoyed at the cost I think this is meant more for office jobs where no one would cover you not shift work I save my showers and poops for work time so I'm being paid for it my boss makes a dollar and I make a dime that's why I only hit while on company time the meter isn't quite right with that phrasing the boss makes a dollar I make a dime that's why I hate on company time it's hard to find a cheap parking in my city so I sometime park at the hospital and tell them I'm a patient slash visitor to get discounted rate good luck doing this in the UK hospital car parks are regularly the most expensive it fevery overt thievery slightly more subtle thievery and a pinch of murder this is a recipe for delicious cheese a cake yes unethical cheesecake life hacks date someone who's less attractive than you they'll bend over backwards not to lose you the real question here is if they will bend over forwards as well the instructions unclear and getting pegged pirate everything that can possibly be pirated would you download a free car yes yes I would no I download 999 999 999 free cars when using Co insta select the gift card payout and unplug the Ethernet cable in the back of the machine you'll get a cash payout without having the surcharge taken out bring plenty of knockout gas for when the manager and security guard come over to ask why you are trying to get behind the co insta machine that's why you have a clipboard complain at a Polo Ralph Lauren store the managers are trained to give out $100 gift cards does the complaint have to be relevant or will they give me $100 for complaining about people not using their turn signals that's a really good question because if not my mother is about to put them out of business as long as you're not a regular abuser you can usually get free food at any fast food restaurant by calling or pulling up and saying they forgot a burger or fry near order just go to multiple restaurants to get a full meal - cost of gas source dump or college kids at one point a friend and I called this the trick one night when we were poor college students starving and high poor b/c we spent all our money on weed we did a restaurant tour we hit up every single fast-food place it was a feast and amazing for a starving 19 year old also if you pay bills and buy food before buying drugs you can live do you find that laws keep getting in the way of your business profits hi lobbyists to change those laws in your favor or just buy the politicians outright or just become president apparently but but make America great again drain the swamp build the wall on a serious note why people think Trump will help us is crazy I've seen people here on reddit saying we took our country back yerin gave it to someone who is probably going to maximize his company in the company's profits thanks to you I still have hope that I will be completely wrong and Trump will actually help Americans that I can't really see that happening the way he does things right now in a fight you know you're going to lose get make it no one wants to fight a naked guy this is a life hack I've heard and in turn passed on to others do with it as you will read it I wouldn't call it unethical though need money set up a GoFundMe or something claim you have terminal cancer and ask for donations for the treatment you can't afford I really hate GoFundMe right now I have a neighbor who is a drug dealer and she got beat up super bad and is in the hospital her daughter set up a page and they have been getting that money like where is your drug money to pay for this I know two people who are trying to use it to fund their unrealistic life goals one is trying to afford a study-abroad ballet program in Russia and the other is trying to afford a yoga instructor certification I suppose being a yoga instructor is not such a pie-in-the-sky thing but still everyone has their own bills and can't afford nice things for themselves including education and you're hitting up your friends and family for this I hate my gym but it's the only one in my area so I steal their paper towels I haven't bought them in years I used to take towels from my gym I'm going to hell if anyone is going to hell it is LA Fitness buying up all the smaller local gyms and then closing the location work want to leave your desk for an extended period have an equal wallet no one would leave their wallet on their desk so anyone who is looking for you will assume you are nearby I skipped half days at the office this way went home and napped my boondoggle at the Beijing Olympics I came into work and made sure a few people saw me I opened my laptop and spread a few papers around in my work area I then walked back to the hotel took a 2.5 hours drive to the Great Wall spend 2.5 hours there and 2.5 our trip back I took a shower put my work clothes back on walked back into work and found my supervisor and said well that's about all I'm going to get done today he said okay see you tomorrow if you want a steal from a mall or a supermarket have someone run out the building while you're walking out of it at the same time and if the alarm goes off 9/10 times the security guard will chase the person running if the item is concealed just act confused they are not going to strip-search you and they can't detain you without opening the company up to expensive lawsuits you should really say what country you're in in the UK this does not fly if you're gay date someone who is the same size as you doubled your closet not gay but I'm seriously considering moving and with my girlfriend of five months just to get my hands on one of her guitars which happens to be my all-time dream guitar do it I heard an urban legend that goes like this guy goes to dental school on student loans graduates and applies for a boatload of credit cards uses the cards to pay off the loans his debt is now in multiple pieces at an unsustainable interest rate he applies in qualifies for bankruptcy he now has a black mark on his credit report for seven years instead of decades worth of loan payments even if that worked it would definitely meet the definition of bankruptcy fraud yes America where you can declare bankruptcy for living a lavish lifestyle you can't afford but not for trying to get an education guy I work with temps to get his way and get ahead 99% of the time by immediately being as openly aggressive as possible in any discussion or disagreements most people don't expect it are thrown completely off balance and just do whatever they can to get away from the situation as soon as possible he balances this by being a total kiss-ass to the people in charge but yeah he gets his own way most of the time but everyone he works with wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire I work at a small individually owned business and every once in a while someone tries their and it doesn't work because this isn't ducking vomit I actually enjoy our giving back love it I'm a small business owner somewhat jaded and probably don't care as much since I've been running the biswell so long and I'm financially secure I have stopped giving any ducks when dealing with our sole customers the customer is always right wrong duck you some people you can just tell they must treat everyone like hit I dish it right back and do it sure is satisfying I only do this over the phone though never over email learn that lesson caught in the rain without an umbrella walk into any front desk and say that you forgot one when they ask when just say last time it rained where just say you don't remember and if they ask what kind just say the normal ones black small one I've gotten three umbrellas that way who buys an umbrella anyway you can get them for free at the coffee shop in those metal cans those belong to people ducking like and subscribe

Channel: Reddit & Chill

Views: 218,559

Keywords: askreddit funny, askreddit scary, reddit top posts, askreddit comedy, askreddit stupid, askreddit, top posts, r/, r/askreddit, best of reddit, top posts of all time, toad films, tz reddit, updoot reddit, reddit and chill, life hacks, pro tips, good adivce, what is some good advice, advice, tips from a pro, fun videos, funny videos, how to videos, cool videos to watch, best reddit videos

Id: HhQltck8ndU

Length: 16min 36sec (996 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 13 2019