Ultimate DCEU Pitch Meeting Compilation (In Order Of Release)

so you have a superman script for me yes sir i do uh that sounds like fun no no yeah no it's gonna be real serious and real gritty oh it is right because remember how the dark knight trilogy made a bunch of money are you kidding me that's all i think about ever yeah so i figured we could do that dark gritty origin thing again but this time with superman do you think it matters that superman is much more of a hopeful and colorful hero than the dark knight i don't think anything matters interesting world view alright so what happens in the movie well the planet krypton is about to explode so superman's dead jorel is planning on sending him off to earth aren't any other kryptonians gonna leave the planet too no jorel tells this council that everyone on this planet is already dead if they're gonna put a baby superman on a spaceship why can't they put other people on spaceships too because fair enough anyway then this bad guy zod is gonna try to take over and they're gonna stop him oh so what do they do with him well they banish him from the planet so they can launch a baby into space and they can launch bad guys into space but they have to stay on a planet that's gonna explode that's what we're going with well okay then anyway so superman's gonna be raised as clark kent in kansas and his adoptive father wants him to keep his identity a secret okay so when clark is a kid and he saves a bunch of kids from drowning his dad's like maybe you shouldn't have done that what yeah he's like you know your secret is that important you probably should have just stood around and watched all your classmates drown wow he must really care about that secret yeah so anyway then he tells clark about the time that he brought a bit of his spaceship stuff to a specialist who told him it wasn't from this earth wait so clark has to keep it a secret but he can bring some space junk to a guy that's right well super unfair and then we're going to have this thing where paw kent dies in a tornado because he doesn't want clark to help him why because if a person saves someone from a tornado that person is automatically an alien feels like there might be other conclusions people would come to before that one well park kent doesn't want to risk it so he lets himself die anyway so when clark is older he's confronted by this jerk at a truck stop bar and he restrains himself from kicking the guy's butt oh that's great it's important to show that he's the bigger man and plus this way he won't draw attention to himself yeah but then he's gonna impale the guy's truck on some massive logs what yeah then he leaves that's much more suspicious and also makes him seem like a petty character yeah but it's gonna look cool visually oh it is okay never mind the story and character and theme great so what else happens in the movie is lois lane in it you bet and she also has super powers what do you mean well she can survive in -40 weather with no problem at all she can teleport across the city to show up where she needs to be and she's somehow able to resist the pull of a massive gravity machine those are some pretty impressive powers yeah so anyway later in the movie superman and zod are gonna have this massive fight in metropolis so clark is gonna lure zod away from the city no he's gonna punch him through some buildings okay but then he's gonna lure him away from the city no he's gonna punch him through some buildings for 40 minutes oh my god yeah yeah so many people are gonna die you don't even know feels like it's gonna be difficult to keep a fight scene interesting for 40 minutes actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah we're gonna keep things spicy by throwing in some you know extremely generic dialogue how generic are we talking well zod's gonna be like there's only one way this thing ends cal either i die or you do wow and also clark is gonna be like you're a monster zod and i'm gonna stop you that is so incredibly generic i love it also superman and lois lane are gonna kiss why well he saved her from falling and also they're like an iconic couple right right but did we build up a romance between them in the movie not really and aren't they standing in the middle of a bunch of dead bodies and destroyed buildings yeah it's gonna be super romantic you have a pretty weird concept of romance yeah i had a weird childhood uh weird childhoods are tight oh yeah brother so how does the movie end well zod is about to use his heat vision to kill a family so superman has to stop him before he does so he grabs him and flies away with them no he uses super speed to get the family out of the way no sir he doesn't he steps in front of the blast and takes the hit himself no he breaks zod's neck what yeah and then he screams because he's so upset that he had to do that feels like there were a lot of other options though whoops whoopsie anyway so yeah then the city's destroyed and thousands of people are dead and superman killed someone wow how are we gonna deal with the aftermath of that we're not we're gonna jump forward in time oh we're not gonna deal with the consequences no that would be super difficult very much an inconvenience fair enough yeah maybe in a future movie or something i don't know well okay then so yeah we're gonna jump forward in time and have superman destroy a 12 million dollar military drone and be like stop following me you jerks wow and then he's gonna get hired at the daily planet despite having no experience and people aren't gonna realize that he's superman no because he has glasses oh i figured since we were going the gritty route we would do away with that whole glasses hide his identity thing no that stays if you say so so what do you think well honestly man as long as this lays the groundwork for the dceu i'm happy you know i hear ya justice league movie here we come oh yeah that's when we're really gonna cash in on these superheroes so we're bringing batman into the dc eu that's right and you know i was thinking everybody's already kind of seen batman's origin story oh yeah everybody's seen that like a thousand times exactly so i figure let's do it again oh yeah but this time we'll do it super slowly ooh slow motion that is so cool yeah you like slow mo oh yes i do in fact let's use it in all the scenes all every scene oh really every scene yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean the script is already kind of long i feel like that might extend the runtime to over three hours well we could just cut out some scenes at random then at random what a what if some important stuff gets cut even better what do you mean well if people want the movie to make more sense they can pay for an ultimate edition oh that's smart right or maybe evil no it's smart okay gotcha so anyway what happens in the movie well first off batman is mad at superman because when superman was fighting zod and man of steel somebody close to him got killed was it robin no alfred nope lucius uh-uh well who was it it was jack who's who's jack he works at wayne enterprises as a financial advisor is he like from the comics or something no no no i made him up gotcha anyway we're gonna have lex luthor orchestrate a plan to get batman and superman to fight each other oh lex luthor is in this yeah but this isn't your typical lex luthor oh so well he's young he has hair he likes candy and he makes really high pitched mickey mouse noises like oh so he's like a toddler no he's like 30. wow so what's his plan oh it's super simple first he has to find out the secret identities of batman and superman then lure lois lane to africa to interview a rebel general but then sabotage it by outing a cia operative named jimmy so they can capture lois and superman shows up then he has to make sure all the rebels get murdered and that superman gets blamed for the whole thing also he has to make sure that someone from that african village will lie to congress about that so they force superman to testify then he's gonna force feed candy to a guy and ask congress for an import license because he wants to use kryptonite to make a weapon in exchange for access to general zod's body and also he needs to steal zod's fingerprints then since batman brands criminals for some reason luthor will hire other inmates to kill those criminals in jail because that'll make superman want to investigate batman instead of doing his actual job which is to cover football for the paper then he has to send some crazy stuff in the mail then invite both of them to the same event and introduce them to each other in a very excited and suspicious way even though there's no real reason to be introducing bruce wayne to low-level journalist clark kent then lex has to blow up the capitol building via a rigged wheelchair and a former wayne employee so people will be mad that superman didn't stop the explosion somehow lex assumes that this will send batman over the edge and luckily for him it does then lex will access the kryptonian spaceship for his backup plan of combining his dna with zod's body to make a giant monster with alien science or whatever he'll call that thing doomsday kidnap lois lane kidnap superman's mom tells superman to kill batman or she dies then hope that superman doesn't explain the situation to batman and that they just fight each other oh okay simple enough yeah pretty straightforward cool yeah so instead of explaining the situation right away to batman superman will be like bruce i gotta talk to you bruce bruce listen listen to be bruce bruce this is important bruce bruce bruce i'm gonna say something important and so then they fight yes they do for a couple of minutes very cool but then batman finds out that superman's mom has the same name as his mom that makes them stop fighting yeah because it makes batman realize oh this guy has a mom he can't be that bad every concern i had about this super powerful alien is gone interesting and so they're gonna team up to fight the giant doomsday monster that lex somehow knew how to make how does that go well they managed to kill it but superman dies in the process oh well i mean he's not really dead right of course not obviously but we will spend a long time pretending like he is even though nobody's gonna buy that even though nobody's gonna buy that cool so listen we also have to kind of use this movie to set up the justice league film is that gonna be hard to shoehorn in there no no no super easy barely an inconvenience really yeah actually way ahead of you on that one batman is gonna meet wonder woman at lex's party oh why is she there because gotcha and they're gonna go on kind of a side quest to uncover the other heroes no no no but what they will do when people are gonna love this is send each other some emails why why why are people gonna love that well think about it what is the big thing missing from the modern superhero movie i i feel like you're gonna say emails but emails people wanna see superheroes email each other alright i mean you seem really excited about emails oh i am great well i hope people share your excitement yeah so these emails are gonna have attachments of video files showing the other heroes you know what i guess that is pretty cool right yeah it's much more efficient than taking the time to set up these characters before jumping into the big team-up movie oh yeah marvel wishes they thought of an email scene oh yeah they're kicking themselves so what do you think of the movie overall man it doesn't matter what do you mean look we have batman superman and wonder woman in the same movie we could do anything we want and everyone's gonna love it oh really listen to me everyone [Music] so you have a new comic book movie script for me yes sir i do it's called suicide squad sounds dark what's it about well first off there's a guy who's like hey what if superman had decided to rip the roof off of the oval office and fly away with the president who would have stopped him oh that sounds like it's going to be a tough question to answer nope super easy barely an inconvenience actually oh really well this woman amanda waller realizes the only way to stop that from happening is to form a team comprised of a crazy lady with a baseball bat a dude who's good with guns a guy who can shoot fire but doesn't wanna an alcoholic australian with a stick a reptile and also a witch who does weird things with her hips what kind of things like if you tried to take your pants off without using your hands it would probably look something like this wow so this is like a lot of characters to introduce yeah but i figured we could just freeze on them for a few seconds each and throw a bunch of text on the screen and people are gonna have time to read all that well i guess when people watch it at home they can hit pause and read it what about the people that paid to see it in theaters oh well they'll just have to deal with you know not having character development fair enough and so the idea is that these people would be able to stop superman from stealing the president that's what we're going with okay well sounds like an interesting group of heroes oh no they're all incarcerated criminals what yeah amanda waller has to force them all to join the team by putting tiny bombs in their necks why would she want a team of bad guys are all the heroes dead or something no actually batman and the flash have cameos oh so they like show up and help the suicide squad once they turn good no they're the ones who put the suicide squad in jail okay i'm i'm a little confused well part of the concept is that the government will use them for covert missions and if something goes wrong they just blame everything on the suicide squad oh okay i got you so so what do they go up against in the movie well the witch enchantress goes rogue and so she makes a giant doomsday sky beam and she also has an army of zombies with blackberries for heads and enchantress is part of the suicide squad that's right so it really is the fault of the bad guys they don't even have to pretend well technically the witch isn't a bad guy she's just an archaeologist that got possessed by a spirit so if they don't manage to stop the magic archaeologist she's gonna destroy the world right and so if that happens the government will be like well don't look at us this was all the work of a lady with a baseball bat and a guy with a gun and a reptile and a fire guy and an australian alcoholic right with the stick okay um any other characters i should know about well there's the joker oh the joker is in this yeah he is but this isn't your typical joker how so he's got like slick bag hair and he wears expensive clothes and he likes clubbing so he's like a douchebag exactly but he's not just a douchebag you know he's also very damaged how are we gonna get that across we're gonna tattoo the word damaged on his forehead that'll do it yeah he actually has a lot of clever tattoos like that what are some of the other ones well he's got like a laughing mouth on his hand oh because he's the joker right and he also has a joker skull on his chest okay yeah because he's the joker yeah and he has the word joker written on his stomach that makes a lot of sense because he's the joker yeah and on his chest and arms he also has like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah yeah yeah yeah because he's the joker oh yeah no yeah i hadn't thought of that but that yeah that also works that way very cool so what's his role in the movie oh he's like barely gonna be in it oh yeah he's just gonna kind of show up once in a while like hey everyone look how crazy i am whoa okay interesting and then during the big mission he's gonna help harley quinn escape in a helicopter oh well that's important yeah but it's not gonna work and the chopper is gonna crash and explode almost immediately okay so he really has no effect on the plot whatsoever no you could cut him out and the plot would be exactly the same well i guess killing the joker in a helicopter crash is gonna be a big surprise oh he's not gonna die really he's gonna survive a helicopter crash yeah helicopter crashes in this movie aren't really a big deal oh they're not lethal no not at all it's actually kind of just how people get to the ground wow so how does the movie end will the squad have to kill enchantress but first they have to fight her brother who's like a thing so fire guy is like good news everyone i'm secretly a big fire guy that's a good twist yeah so big fire guy lures which brother into a corner where an army guy is going to blow them all up wow but i guess an explosion wouldn't hurt the big fire guy oh yeah no he dies oh really so everyone in the squad is like oh no fire guy nobody cares about the army guy sacrificing himself too not even a little that's cold yeah so then they kill enchantress they go back to jail and that's it that's it yep so what do you think well the only part that feels a little weird to me is the fact that the joker is in the movie but he's not the main villain okay so i just want to double check you're absolutely sure that that's the right way to go about this 100 i will stand by that decision till the day i die well then let's do it great [Music] so you have a wonder woman script for me yes sir i do so we're gonna see diana as a little girl on themischiro which is an island full of badass warrior women and they all have this sacred duty to protect mankind very cool yeah it's too bad i'm gonna have to give them all silly accents what well gal gadot can't really do any other accents than her own so we're gonna have to you know make everyone talk a little silly well what kind of accent are we talking here not gonna lie it's gonna sound a little like borat my wife very nice diana i like all right so anyway diana's mom tells her all about this god named ares that killed all the other gods and wants men to destroy each other okay and zeus left the amazons with a weapon powerful enough to kill a god and there's also going to be a lot of talk about how diana can't know who she truly is so is diana the god killer well yeah damn it sorry was that a twist yeah it's like a big twist later is it that obvious oh yeah oh well maybe it'll surprise some people nah damn but wait if diana's mom doesn't want her to find out who she truly is why does she even tell her about aries and a god killer in the first place well she tells her that this sword is the god killer okay but instead of doing that why not just not tell her about any of it at all well because i have to have diana learn this stuff for the movie's plot to happen couldn't she stumble upon some ancient texts or something instead of having the one person who doesn't want her to look into this stuff be the one to tell her all about this stuff right i guess that would make more sense but i want to have these cool drawings show up on the screen while she's explaining it oh that sounds cool okay keep it like that great so anyway one day diana's looking out to see and she sees a guy named steve trevor crashes plane and then she saves him did you have anyone in mind to play him maybe we could get one of those hot chris's oh which one chris pratt ah he's marvel chris hemsworth also marvel chris evans he's marvel chris nolan he's a director chris plummer that's an old guy christina applegate that's a woman chris miss that's a holiday chris christie politician christian mingle dating website well maybe that star trek guy chris maple wrong tree chrysanthemum that's a flower chris pine that's the one oh yeah i could get chris pine we're actually good friends well great so anyway this guy's being chased by some germans uh-oh and then steve tells them about world war one they don't know about world war one apparently not isn't it their sacred duty to protect mankind you'd think they'd stay up to date with like weapons and world conflicts you'd think so but it seems like they were more focused on doing like backflips and stuff fair enough backflips are tight they're really good at backflips well that's great so steve also tells them about these two bad guys ludendorff and dr poison who made some really deadly gas what's their backstory they're evil oh that's good so diana decides that ares is causing world war one and she wants to go with steve to end it i have to say it's pretty cool to have a man land on an island where it's all women and not fall into the territory of like immature sex jokes and before they leave she's gonna see his penis uh okay right there it is and she's never seen one before so it's funny yeah i got it so steve must be like losing his mind finding out that gods are real not really he's kind of like huh that's neat well he's not wrong so they're gonna go to london together to tell steve's bosses about the gas yeah i mean i guess there's no time to waste no there's not but we are going to have a fun little shopping montage where she tries on some dresses shopping montages are fun or some of the dresses going to be silly some of them are going to be silly that is fresh also some german spies are gonna try to kill steve uh-oh yeah but steve and diana are gonna knock them all unconscious except for one what happens to him well wonder woman tries to question him but he kills himself with cyanide oh well there are other guys that are just unconscious so she can question them right yeah i guess so but she's not going to do that oh so then diana and steve present their information to the government people and they're like we have to do something and the government people are like so are they going to take matters into their own hands they're going to take matters into their own hands taking matters into your own hands is tight yeah so steve's gonna assemble a cracked team of soldiers and what's interesting about them is that none of them have character arcs oh what do you mean well for example one of them's gonna have ptsd and not be able to fire a shot and we're not gonna pay that off in the end by having him overcome it and take an important shot nope interesting choice so then they're gonna go to no man's land what's that it's a place where soldiers haven't been able to gain an inch of ground because they're a bunch of germans with machine guns okay so wonder woman steps out and they all start shooting at her wow so steve is like she's taking all the fire let's go won't the germans just start shooting at other people too they will not they're very focused at pointing all their firepower at this half naked woman oh and do any of the bullets hit her not one they all seem to shoot at her at shoulder levels so it's easy to block what a weird strategy and then her and steve are gonna save a small town together i gotta say it's refreshing to have a man and a woman working together in this movie without all the romantic stuff you usually see and then her and steve are gonna bone oh they are yeah and from there everything's gonna get real silly how so well like they find out that ludendorff is throwing a big party right right and steve gets in by speaking english with a german accent and pretending like he lost his invitation oh that is silly yeah well i mean there is this thing in movies called the translation convention where foreign characters speak to each other in english just as kind of a way to avoid subtitles yeah i mean that'd be okay but we are going to have subtitles in other parts of the movie oh yeah and german soldiers are going to yell at each other in german so so it's a thing so steve is really just using the fact that the german high commands speak english to each other as a way to move the plot forward right and so then wonder woman is also going to sneak into the party after forcibly undressing a woman and leaving her in the woods and she's not even gonna try to do an accent oh does she get caught no she's gonna slow dance with ludendorff and unprompted he's gonna start talking about greek gods why would he do that yeah it's super unnatural but i want the audience to think he's aries ah so then ludendorff is gonna gas the small town from earlier and wonder woman's gonna get mad not very nice of him and then she's gonna kill him and be kind of devastated that the whole war doesn't just come to an end after he dies oh that's actually good we'll have her realize that not all men are good and everyone's to blame in war and then the real aries is gonna show up oh it seemed like you had a really cool message going yeah but then i didn't right and so it turns out that this whole time aries was this mustache government guy sir patrick wow well what happens next they're gonna have a huge fight and use crazy powers and throw stuff at each other and pew pew pew in lights and puke but what are diana's powers exactly we're going to keep it really vague so anytime she does something people will be like oh i guess she can do that smart and then steve rogers is going to sacrifice himself in an airplane did you say steve rogers nope and so then wonder woman levels up thanks to the power of love wow and aries is gonna be like i will destroy you i mean you're gonna come up with a better line than that right uh-huh yep i will and then what happens well then she's gonna kill ares and the whole war is gonna stop so it really was all the fault of aries doesn't that kind of trivialize the significance of world war one maybe and how does it end diana's gonna fly away it's gonna be really nice oh she can fly now sure why not very cool so what do you think well i feel like it's really significant that we're doing a female-led superhero film you know yeah we're making big strides exactly it's about time that women get equal treatment in hollywood and it starts with [Music] us okay so tell me about this justice league script okay so there's this bad guy named steppenwolf right what's his backstory barely matters but he wants to destroy the world so he has to get these boxes together and that's gonna be hard for him to do oh no super easy barely an inconvenience great what's he look like well in the comics he's got like a goatee and a helmet with horns okay you don't like it i'm just kind of picturing something more like the back of professor quirrell's head in harry potter you know when voldemort's kind of just living on there does that sound good yeah sounds perfect so tell me more about these boxes well they're called mother boxes mother boxes yeah and steppenwolf's gonna say mother kind of a lot like more than you'd think he would okay can we also have him say some like super generic bad guy sayings oh yeah there's a ton of that in here at one point he's like this world will fall so generic i love it at another point he's like primitive beings perfect okay now tell me about the justice league itself right so batman figures out that something bad is going on so he has to convince the other heroes to join his team and that's gonna be hard for him to do no super easy barely an inconvenience oh yeah well wonder woman's already on board and then the flash straight up says yes and then they're like we have to find cyborg and cyborg shows up like hey i'm cyborg what's going on and aquaman oh aquaman that's where things get spicy here i'm listening okay so follow me on this aquaman is gonna say no at first right and so people watching will be like wait is aquaman not gonna join the league that is good but then he's gonna change his mind almost immediately and what are all the characters like like is batman still moody no batman kind of cracks jokes now and he really really misses superman but weren't they friends for like a minute in batman v superman that was enough calls him clark now like they were best friends fair enough then there's wonder woman okay so her movie was really empowering for women so we really have to emulate that again way ahead of you so we're gonna have the flash trip and fall onto her boobs great there's gonna be a little moment where the flash is lying on top of her and it's gonna be really funny because that's how people do sex because that's how people do sex exactly people are gonna like that yeah and then we have aquaman talk about how hot she is and then we have some of the amazons fighting in bikinis so basically that sends the same message as wonder woman yeah basically i think so and what about aquaman don't people think he's kind of lame in the comics oh yeah no he's a badass in the movie though check out this line of his um my man oh that doesn't sound lame no he's a badass now he also drinks alcohol that is so cool drinking alcohol is super cool listen this all sounds great so far but it feels like something's missing superman i mean yeah but he's dead right yep but they're gonna bring him back from the dead oh my god it's gonna be really fun he's gonna be really mad at batman but didn't you just say they were best friends at the end of the movie yeah but he kind of needs to hate him because we want to have them fight wait superman and batman fight against each other i know it sounds pretty crazy but i think we can try some new stuff in this movie okay now even though this is kind of a big plot thing we can still have henry cavill promote the movie right oh sure that's not gonna like ruin the surprise is it no i think people will still be surprised because in the movie you say he's dead right exactly so people will be like oh i guess henry cavill's not in this movie right so maybe he just did those interviews as like a fan and then they bring him back to life and people will be like what what perfect and how does the movie end oh they just kind of stop stepping wolf there's no consequences no they just kind of fight as parademon things and then they stop him i feel like there should be some consequences or maybe just like a feeling that the stakes are high i can add in a russian family that gets scared that'll do it great i gotta say i think we have a winner here me too so you have an aquaman script for me yes sir i do and as you know aquaman is cool now of course he drank alcohol in justice league and said my man exactly so just to quickly reestablish how cool he is i thought we could put some heavy metal guitar riffs when he shows up at the beginning would that actually work oh yeah check this out oh very cool right yeah i suddenly feel like watching what you do for a little over two hours okay well i have a colonoscopy scheduled for right after this meeting but you're free to tag along i'll definitely do that so what happens in the movie well we're gonna establish aquaman's backstory by spending some time with his parents and what's their deal aquaman's dad is this guy named thomas and he's a lighthouse keeper okay and one day he notices something very peculiar wash up on shore so he sleeps with it i mean yes but i didn't tell you it was a living being that washed up on shore how'd you know that he sleeps with it it's just the natural order of things you know a man discovers something new and immediately it's like i gotta find a way to make love to this well yeah that is pretty much how it goes so it turns out it was this lady from atlantis named atlanta that washed up wow and she eats his pet goldfish so instantly he's like oh let's make a baby eating people's pets is super romantic so then we're gonna jump forward in time and have a submarine filled with military sea men be attacked by pirates oh seaman is tight r ah is that what the pirates sound like no that's the word you should have used instead of is to downgrade that sentence from disgusting to just weird uh whoops whoopsie so anyway in the middle of the submarine takeover pirate mission an older pirate gives his son a knife oh he does yeah and he tells him a story about his grandfather and they have a nice bonding moment it's really nice seems like the kind of thing he would have done before or after the mission well he's gonna do it right in the middle of it well okay then and then aquaman's gonna come on board to stop them and they're gonna try to kill him amazing and then the daddy pirates gonna get pinned and the submarine's gonna be filling up with water uh-oh so then the sun is like aquaman you need to help him he's gonna die how could he possibly expect aquaman to help after trying to murder him yeah it doesn't make any sense but this way we have a motivation for the sun to become black manta oh black manta people love that character from the comics yeah he's like aquaman's nemesis so he's gonna be really badass and there's gonna be a huge fight between him and aquaman amazing that's gonna be a great way to end the movie oh no it's gonna happen like halfway through the movie and then he's gonna be gone until the mid credits oh that's very disappointing maybe we should just save the character for the sequel you know really do him justice no fair enough anyway the main bad guy is this dude named orm and what's his deal well he's aquaman's half brother and he wants to wage war on the land dwellers because we've been throwing trash in the ocean oh so what does he do well he does this really cool thing where he makes tsunamis and sends all the trash back on shore oh that's pretty neat right why didn't he do that in the first place what do you mean i mean if sending trash back to shore was an option why didn't they do that right away you know prevent the oceans from being polluted at all i don't know the land dwellers would have been like oh i guess you can't dump trash in the ocean it comes right back yeah i guess that would have saved the lives of a whole bunch of sea creatures and prevented this whole thing probably anyway aquaman is gonna challenge him to a big fight oh that's exciting yeah it's like this big event there's a huge crowd of people watching and an octopus playing the drums what yeah they trained a giant octopus to play the drums pretty cool right if they could train an octopus to do stuff why would they train it to be a musician listen do you want to see a giant octopus play the drums or not of course i do well then let's not think about this too much well okay then anyway so then aquaman and this lady meera need to find a trident so aquaman could become king okay so they're gonna go to the sahara desert and sicily and jurassic park oh surprise dinosaurs are the best kind so the movie's basically gonna jump back and forth between crazy action scenes and the characters delivering a bunch of exposition to each other well it must be difficult to jump back and forth between exposition and action actually super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah once enough information has been delivered in a scene i'll just have the conversation be cut off by an explosion oh well that's one cool way to transition what other ways are we going to use other explosions that works yeah over and over again and then aquaman is gonna find his mom that he thought was dead and then get his hands on the trident wow and then we're gonna have a giant cgi battle with a bunch of sharks and lasers and sea creatures that sounds crazy yeah it's gonna be like watching star wars and tron at the same time while sitting inside an aquarium that's way over capacity amazing and then aquaman is gonna fight orm but their mom is gonna pop out so arm is gonna be like oh you're alive that's great i overreacted why did she wait so long to pop out so we can have a giant cgi battle scene gotcha and so yeah what do you think well it sounds like a lot of fun and i think the right soundtrack could really make this a thrill ride you know oh yeah yeah i want to get some special tracks made for this really get a reaction out of people what kind of reaction are we talking i'm talking about the kind of music choices that make people puke in their mouths what [Music] so you have a shazam script for me yes sir i do and with people's reaction to the overall gloom of the dceu i thought we could make this one a little more funny and light-hearted well that sounds like a great idea i'll get joss whedon on the phone right now wait what no why to give him a bunch of money to punch this thing up he made the avengers so it's a good move oh i don't like the sound of that at all it sounds like the result's gonna be a disjointed turd of a movie we're having him do it for justice league oh you are okay well i'm sure that's gonna be great then anyway so that's a pass on joss you wanna handle the comedy yourself yeah yes yes please oh you're crazy man that's why i like you well okay then so anyway the movie's gonna follow this kid billy batson and he gets put in a foster home with a bunch of other kids okay and he's not really into it but this disabled boy freddy is like what's up let's be friends i love superheroes oh and billy doesn't want to be friends no but then one day at school some bullies show up oh bullies are always entertaining in movies what are they gonna do give a wet willy no they're gonna hit the disabled kid with their car and then kick him in the stomach a bunch of times oh my god yeah classic bullies what are you gonna do okay those aren't bullies those are literal psychopaths oh did i go too intense with that whoops whoopsie anyway billy's gonna step in and hit them i mean anyone who witnessed something like that would step in that's horrible actually there's a big crowd of people watching oh there is yeah they don't do anything and billy only steps in because the bullies make a joke about moms oh being a passive onlooker is tight so anyway this wizard shazam is looking for somebody pure of heart to be his champion and give his powers to so he's like oh maybe this billy kid because he didn't let some psychopaths publicly beat a handicapped student yep apparently that's enough to be considered very low standards yeah so the wizard is like say my name and take my powers okay cause i gotta die real quick oh why does he have to die oh because the bad guy savannah messed him up and took away the seven deadly sins demons that he was guarding and put them in his eyeball okay i'll just take your word for it that that makes sense great although couldn't the wizard have done anything to stop the savannah guy from doing that yeah he probably could have shot a lightning bolt at the guy he was just a human but he let him do his thing oh interesting decision so anyway then billy turns into a grown-up superhero wow wow yeah the wizard tells him you know you're gonna have the wisdom of solomon the strength of hercules the wisdom of solomon so he's like super wise and smart as the hero no actually he's gonna be much goofier as the hero than as the teenager oh so that wisdom thing was just nothing pretty much yeah huh yeah he's just gonna be super goofy and love soda pop and candy and dancing and stuff as the hero and as the kid he's gonna be much more dark and sad and moody shouldn't we try to keep both versions of billy the same character-wise it's gonna come off as two different humans oh yeah it's definitely gonna feel that way yeah okay you're not gonna fix it okay so anyway billy teams up with freddy to do a bunch of tests and figure out what his powers are how do they do that by conveniently stumbling upon random acts of violence oh yeah yeah there happens to be a mugging in the park they're in then there happens to be a robbery in the store they're in oh yeah okay but yeah they're just gonna have a ton of fun with these tests very cool yeah like we'll have billy do whatever dance is popular with the kids at the time of shooting and freddie's gonna shoot the whole thing and put it up on a youtube channel well this does sound very fun i have to say i'm really enjoying how light-hearted and kid-friendly this whole thing sounds like it's good and then savannah throws his brother out a skyscraper window to his death and another guy gets his head bit off by a demon oh my god his decapitated body gets thrown out the window too and from outside the office you can just see people get massacred through the tinted windows begging for their lives why are you doing this and in the midst of the corpses savannah's father is still alive so he has a demon just tear him apart that that that took such a turn yeah yeah it feels like tonally that was a massive shift is this a horror movie or a kids movie both sometimes when i feel like it i don't know maybe you should you know pick a thing no well okay then and by the way these sin demons have to look really scary is that something we could pull off depends what you want them to look like well for example people didn't really like the cgi on doomsday in batman v superman so if it could be better than that that'd be great okay okay and would you settle for much worse than that yeah sure that works great so tell me more about this villain oh well you know how in marvel movies they do the thing where the bad guy has the same powers as the good guy but he's evil of course it's one of the main complaints about the mcu well i figure and hear me out here we could do that too oh well i mean marvel does make money so i guess i'm fully on board the generic villain train fantastic so what else happens in the movie well we're gonna have this thing where freddy tells the bullies that he knows shazam but they don't believe him okay so he's like well the superhero's gonna show up at lunch tomorrow but then billy flakes on him and doesn't go oh yeah so freddie can't prove that he's friends with a superhero so he just gets the biggest wedgie why doesn't he just show them that he's the one running the youtube channel where all the videos got posted and his voices in all of them and he has the original camera they were filmed on oh i don't know fair enough so eventually billy's gonna find his real mom that he's been looking for his whole life okay and it turns out she intentionally abandoned him oh she did yeah they got split up at a carnival and then she saw him with some police officers and she was like yeah no that's better you can do that and apparently the police won't look into it at all they won't ask around they won't go to your home they won't search for you with your maiden name wow i didn't know abandoning a child was so easy oh yeah it's super easy barely hold on a second hey honey oh yeah did you know we could just abandon him like just leave him in a public place yeah no no no i know he's our son i just i thought we could have a lot more free time if we no i understand oh okay okay no i'm sorry i suggested it okay bye um yeah so my wife was not into that idea worth a shot i guess anyway so how does the movie end oh well billy's gonna get progressively better with his powers and then we're gonna have a big final fight between him and savannah and the sins oh very cool yeah the synths can do this thing where they turn to smoke apparently so they're hard to grab on to wow and then all of billy's foster brother and sisters also get shazam powers oh very exciting but isn't it gonna be hard for them to fight i mean billy took the whole movie to learn his powers actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah this is the climax of the movie so they're just gonna you know automatically be great at it well okay then yeah so it's gonna be a big slugfest what do they do against the monsters move where they turn into smoke oh the monsters are just not gonna do that anymore and also be much less violent than they were before oh very considerate monsters for sure so then yeah the good guys win amazing then we're gonna have this end scene in the school cafeteria where shazam walks in to see freddy okay and then we see superman walk in in all his glory henry cavill's not available and then we see superman walk in from the shoulders down there it is and so yeah that's about it well it sounds like a lot of fun and also you know sometimes suddenly horrifying yeah sometimes so who do you think we should get to play the villain well villains are tricky you know it's going to take a lot of work we got to look around find the right actor someone who could be menacing someone that's an unexpected choice man that does sound like a lot of work or you know we could just cast someone who's played comic book villains before oh that sounds easier let's do that [Music] so you have a movie for me yes sir i do i was thinking we could do a birds of prey movie featuring harley quinn oh like she's gonna have a cameo no it's gonna be like 90 about harley quinn and how crazy she is oh it is yeah it's gonna be like harley quinn the movie oh and also by the way birds of prey well okay then so what happens in this thing well harley quinn and the joker broke up so now everybody that she wronged wants to kill her since she no longer has his protection oh uh oh yeah there are just people coming after her left and right it's chaos very exciting yeah and i really want this to focus on harley quinn but i did think it'd be cool if we had like a little joker cameo right yeah i got your email about that i actually made a couple calls got the ball rolling amazing people are gonna love that they sure are i wasn't sure which one you wanted though so i went ahead and got myrrh what hi guys super excited for this wow wow wow wow what is what is going on i got you one of the jokers just like you wanted if you wanted sally you should have specified sal okay i meant like the joker like the jared leto joker oh now that you say that that makes a whole lot more sense oh whoops whoopsie all right murray do you think you can find your way out sure super easy barely an inconvenience okay that's my he stole my line yeah he stole it all right bye bye so can we get jared leto then oh yeah no i don't want him figuring out my new address he's gonna start sending me weird stuff again oh yeah that's probably smart what about batman are we gonna have like a batman cameo no but we are gonna have bruce oh like he's gonna show up as bruce wayne no bruce is a hyena named after bruce wayne oh so this movie's like crazy crazy yeah yeah so what's the deal with this hyena it's gonna be there but then it's not but then it is again i love it anyway so one of the people that wants harley dead is this bad guy roman scionis and what's his deal well he's evil isn't harley quinn like kind of evil as well yeah but this guy's like over the top evil to make harley look better to the audience gotcha and this guy cionus is like running the show in gotham now in terms of crime where's the joker out of town or something i don't know florida what about other famous gotham villains like penguin or riddler or mr freeze well sir this is gotham but also you know extremely not oh okay so the psionist guy captures harley and he wants to cut her face off because that's a thing he does well but also he wants this diamond that has like a valuable code in it so harley's like don't kill me i could go find the diamond for you where's this diamond inside a child oh my god yeah this little pickpocket girl cassandra kane steals the diamond and then swallows it after being arrested so she becomes just the most adorable plot device and so this bad guy agrees to not kill harley if she could go get the diamond he does and then also sends a bunch of bad guys after it too if he wants her dead why is he doing that why not just kill her while he has her because she's the main character right of course so anyway harley goes to the police station to get this girl and just destroys everybody with a beanbag launcher with what like a like a beanbag launcher it shoots confetti too it's really fun don't any of these cops have you know guns apparently not so then she goes to get this girl out of her holding cell do the cops not follow her there they do not so then all the cells open and harley has to fight a bunch of criminals oh man how's she gonna get out of that situation well they all take turns attacking her instead of ganging up so she's able to fight them off pretty easily very considerate of them it is so then harley brings this girl to her apartment because she doesn't want the bad guys to cut her open she just wants her to poop out the diamonds oh valuable poops are tight yeah yeah isn't she being hunted by everyone including the police yep she is so then the police bang on the door why would she go to her apartment unclear and then someone shoots like a rocket at her place why did she go home so then harley calls cyonus to be like all right let's meet in an abandoned theme park because that's my brand what happens to all the people that were just attacking her apartment unclear so she goes to this amusement park fun house thing and she gets attacked by this cop renee montoya oh is she one of the birds of prey she is and she's wasted cause stuff hasn't been going well for her at the police station so i guess it'll be pretty easy for harley to knock her out actually they go blow for blow it's a very even fight hasn't harley been knocking down massive criminals with relative ease how can she not fight one drunk lady well montoya is a more prominent character which makes her harder to fight oh okay anyway then the other birds of prey show up too and who are they well there's this one named huntress right and the diamond actually belonged to her family and they were all killed and she trained for years for revenge wow sounds like this should be her movie yeah super interesting story for sure really captivating stuff so so why isn't this her movie well she hasn't proven her marketability yet oh yeah that's right shove her in the background for sure then there's also the singer lady who betrayed cionus and she goes by black canary wow so the whole team's together the whole team's together so then psionis shows up outside with like an army of bad guys uh-oh yeah so a bunch of them run into the building to fight these women well how do they protect themselves from all the gunfire well these first few waves of bad guys don't actually use guns why not because then the main characters would die right but that's what the bad guys want right yeah but that's not what i want so it's just gonna be hand-to-hand combat at first well okay then so after they beat up those guys who for some reason were dressed like the band slipknot they all stroll out of the funhouse feeling pretty good about themselves isn't standing right outside with a bunch of bad guys he is so they all get caught off guard did they forget he was there yeah that's actually something i learned from the writers of game of thrones turns out you could have characters just kind of forget about massive threats they knew about just moments before well if there's one thing those guys know it's how to write an ending so i'm all in great and so now the bad guys use guns so you know it's really dangerous wow is it gonna be hard for them to beat them actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah see black canary uses her super powers and knocks everyone down with her voice what yeah she has super powers is that something we established or knew about during the movie we did not know i mean she broke a glass while singing but that's about it how come she didn't use that power as soon as she saw sionas show up with all his men i don't know fair enough so anyway then harley chases tionis because he stole the valuable constipated child and they blow him up with a grenade wow wow wow so what do you think well it sounds insane thank you and i mean harley quinn is one of our most popular characters right now so this is pretty much a guaranteed box office hit [Music] so you have a wonder woman sequel for me yes sir i do so we're gonna start the movie with diana as a kid back in themyscira okay okay and what's she up to well she's competing in the amazon version of that tv show wipeout and she tries to use a shortcut to win and learns that cheating is wrong sure okay that's a nice quick message to start the movie off it's going to take a full 11 minutes oh my god so then we're going to jump forward to the 1980s which is when this movie takes place okay okay so like 30 40 years ago oh i don't enjoy that that's a true thing so anyway diana is still super heartbroken about steve trevor dying in the first movie he's all she can think about really after all that time yeah well i mean you got to understand this was a really good guy she knew for a couple of days seven decades ago well yeah i guess so so anyway diana's working in washington dc at the smithsonian and she has a new co-worker named barbara and what's her deal well she's a freaking nerd sir she can't even walk in heels oh embarrassing disgusting and pathetic i bet nobody likes her yeah and so there's this artifact called the dream stone and that's what this movie's gonna focus on what's this thing dude oh this thing's freaking nuts it grants wishes but it takes something in return a very magical stone yeah this phony business guy max lord he gets his hand on it and he wishes to become the dream stone oh so he turns to stone you would think so the way that was phrased but no now he can grant people's wishes when they touch him and he can take something in return do barbara and diana get wishes in before he does that they do barbara wishes to be more like diana so she gets some nice clothes and some super strength and now she can walk in heels now that's impressive am i right yeah she's not pathetic anymore also she removes her glasses which as you know makes people automatically more attractive that's just good character development is what that is and so diane is going to wish for steve trevor to come back to life and this way we could get chris pine back in the movie i know people like chris pine so what does he just appear out of thin air actually no his consciousness goes into this random guy's body so everybody sees this random guy but we see chris pine so okay is this because the stone can't make things just magically show up no it absolutely can a giant wall is gonna appear out of nowhere so are some nukes i mean the thing is magic why are we doing this weird body control thing with steve i don't know what happens to this guy's consciousness while steve's controlling his body who's to say you are yeah what if this guy has a job and a family he has to get to the implications are insane where is his consciousness is he dead oh well here's the thing sir i'm gonna need you to get all the way off my back about this body control thing get off of it oh that felt vaguely threatening so i'm gonna get off your back about that great and so then steve and diana obviously they get intimate because you know they love each other they do that using a stranger's body that's got that's got to be crossing a line that's not okay yeah well we're going to have them do it anyway and i find it strange that you immediately got back on my back about that i mean it's actually a really easy fix just have steve trevor show up as himself no ah so then that max lord guy makes himself super rich and he goes to egypt to take some guy's oil and make himself even richer okay so steve and diana they gotta get over there you know how are they gonna do that well the thing is they can't just take a commercial flight because steve doesn't have a passport no i mean the guy he's possessing probably has one yeah well they don't check for that they head to the smithsonian and steal one of the jets from over there they have operational jets at the museum they do yeah fully fuel jets just lying around so they take one of those because steve was a pilot okay he was a pilot in world war one these are those those are different planes well i mean a plane is a plane that's i mean okay yeah that sentence is not technically wrong so there you go but okay sir a plane is a plane are you implying that a plane's not a plane because a plane is a plane i mean that's just such a vague general statement a plane is a plane okay so then they're being chased because of the jet theft and so wonder woman goes ahead and makes it invisible and that's how she gets her invisible jet what how well turns out that's a thing she can do so she does the thing that she can do well thank god she has that ability we never once mentioned a reference it works out great so they go to egypt and they have a big chase scene with max lord oh very exciting but he freaking gets away and he goes around causing a bunch more chaos then he goes to see the president of the united states what for well he gets the president to wish for more nukes and then he sees this technology just lying around in the oval office and it's exactly what he needs what do you mean what's this device that lets him take over everybody's screen around the world so technically through like satellite waves he is you know he's touching them how i don't worry about it okay i won't so then there's gonna be this fight in the white house and barbara she's turning evil so she gets in on that too okay and steve manages this to grab max lord oh and so he wishes for everything to go back to normal oh yeah no that would have been smart instead he pushes him around a bit also a decent strategy yeah so then max lord escapes and he heads off to the satellite island to do his broadcast wow wow and steve and diana find out that everybody needs to renounce their wishes or else civilization going gonna end so they have this big emotional goodbye oh very sad very sad but then she starts to fly and lasso some lightning bolts so that's pretty cool that's that's not bad oh sure yeah that may as well happen so then diane is gonna have to fight barbara who by the way is a cat now what yeah she's a cat now she's part cheetah what are you talking about well see max lord was like hey anything else you want and she's like yes actually i would like to be an apex predator please so she could have just as easily been turned into a killer whale yeah i guess there was a chance she could have turned into a you know orca whale but that would have made for a less interesting fight scene oh i wholeheartedly disagree anyway so then we're going to have a barely visible fight scene and barbara's going to get electrocuted oh so she dies oh no she gets a little sleepy which is what happens when cats get electrocuted that's not no i don't think that's accurate well that's what my dad told me when my childhood cat chewed through his extension cord that your cat died i think no sir he went to sleep then he went to live on a farm and i never saw him again i mean okay so what happens next oh well max is granting wishes to everybody in the world through their screens most of the world doesn't speak english okay yeah i'll keep that in mind for trivia night i guess that's interesting anyway it's gonna be complete chaos oh it is yep people are killing each other with wishes one guy gets a farm outside his apartment people can wish for anything really yeah it's gonna be nuts statistically speaking wouldn't at least one person wished for the guy that just showed up on their tv to die or for the world to end wouldn't at least one person wish for world peace what happens with that paradox well i mean that's kind of that's like a one in a million kind of wish right there are billions of people in the world oh you're just full of fun trivia tonight so anyway diana has to lasso this guy but her lasso can't get through this mysterious wind around him oh wow it's gonna be tough for her to defeat him if she can't reach him actually it's gonna be super easy barely an inconvenience oh really yeah see she gets her lasso around his ankle and then she can talk to everybody through him i thought she couldn't get through with that thing oh yeah no she couldn't but then she could but how unclear well okay then so then she tells everybody to renounce their wishes because nothing good comes from lying and everybody does it everybody does it including max lord who suddenly cares about his son that he's been actively ignoring the whole movie and so what about like what if someone with a terminal illness wished to be cured oh well they would have they would have to renounce that because that's that's not the truth uh what if a blind person wished to be able to see that's uh that's that's a shortcut uh to being able to see so that's that's wrong what if somebody wished to be able to feed their starving child yeah okay this moment only works if everybody wishes for something selfish or violent so we're going to have to pretend like that's the case okay oh pretending is tight okay let's do it okay thank god so then max lord is going to go reunite with his son who just kind of comes running out of the woods for no reason how did max lord get back from the island if he renounced all his wishes unclear and what happens with barbara well she's not a cat anymore and she's she's chilling i imagine okay anyway then diana's gonna have a little flirty moment with the guy who steve was controlling it's gonna be very sweet he's already seen that guy naked yeah just a real sweet moment it's gonna be christmas too yeah i don't know if it being christmas makes it better and then she looks at a balloon and we're all done so what do you think i mean i feel like using a strange man's body is just so deeply strange and raises so many messed up questions right right right well maybe nobody will think of how weird it is well yeah i guess that is a possibility okay let's do it [Music] hey guys ryan here thanks for watching that pitch meeting i hope you liked it if you did you know press the like button and the subscribe button and leave a comment and all the youtube standard things also let me know if you have ideas for other movies i should do pitches for as always check back soon for a new video bye

Channel: Screen Rant

Views: 1,999,859

Keywords: screenrant, screen rant, DCEU, pitch meeting, ryan george, superman, birds of prey, wonder woman, aquaman, shazam!, justice league, suicide squad

Id: _TJPq-KxIMA

Length: 50min 19sec (3019 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 16 2021