- [Shayne Voiceover] Chapter two-- (everybody laughs) - Come on! (bell ringing) - Oh sheesh y'all, it's us back again. We're doing try not to
laugh and guess what? We got our ultimate nemesis, Gus Johnson. - What! I'm a friend. - Gus the unbroken. - Yes, Gus the unbroken and to test to see if it's his gene pool that's so messed up in this thing, we also brought along his brother Sven! (cheering) - This is gonna be the one! I gotta make Gus laugh! - I don't know bud, I
really don't know bud. I don't know if this an even-- - I've failed so many times. - Chief, I don't know chief.
- We all have. - Do I get permission to touch
my own brother on this one? - Yeah I'm okay with that. - [Everyone] Yeah. - This will be our first time touching, is on camera today. (laughing) - Whoa Pikachu. We have a new challenger. But I'm not gonna use Pikachu this time. Go pregnancy test! - Wow, what gen is that? - Z. - Dang I only got red and blue with the big studded blacks here. - Oh no! - You need me to wipe that up for you? - ♪ Got you little bitch. ♪ ♪ Let's see if you're pregnant
spit on the pregnancy-- ♪ ♪ Don't do that, don't do that to me. ♪ - All right folks burgers
are almost done here we'll be up in a few minutes. Ladies and gentlemen, I had a bit of an announcement there's a reason I brought you all to this barbecue today. Jeanine and I are engaged. Ain't that right sweetheart. Why that's right Ethan! We sure are! I can't wait to smooch
you on each eye every day! (Courtney laughs) And it's a different woman
that's not part of me. What can I say I've never been happier. It's just the way it is. Wanna watch us kiss? Oh, getting randy. That's what we call smooching.
- [Woman] Time. (beep) (laughing) (cheerful music) - Yeah so anyways, so I was like, "I'm not
gonna stay here for this." So I packed up and I left
Joshua Tree like right then, I drove all the way back home 'cause I wasn't gonna deal with that, like I wasn't gonna
deal with her attitude. (laughing) Oh my god. Oh my god is that (beep) baby Yoda? (laughing) (intense music) - My next trick will be a kick flip. (laughing) Did I do a kick flip? (laughing) - I think so. (sensual music) - Clap my little green
ass cheeks do you want to? (laughing) Brought protection I did. (laughing) Parents aren't home, mine. (laughing) - Oh my god, was that (beep) Yoda? - I'm (mumbles) hungry. Can I please suck on your earlobe for you? Just one little bite
is all I'm gonna take. (laughing) - That is not fair, you
went first as my kin. - I used to do that when Sven was a kid and I realized that that
sounds kinda predatory. (laughing) It was always a joke. - Hi welcome. Name? (laughing) Hi sorry, name? Sven? (out of tune keyboard playing) Okay, we're looking you up
in the database right now. (laughing) (high pitched keyboard note) Sorry, we have a problem hang on. (high pitched keyboard note) Sorry, we got a new software. (upbeat hiphop beat) Oh crap. Sorry, I was running on Windows before. - [Sarah] Time. - Dang it. (laughing) - This summer, "To Kill a
Mockingbird" is coming back with a sequel that is very
different from the first. "To Kill a Mockingbird" turns out, (fake guns firing) (laughing) you can't. (laughing) On VHS, next month. Did you laugh? (laughing) Did you get it? Oh no. I wasn't a bird that's
the twist in the movie, oh god I gotta get out of here. - [Sarah] Time. - Ahem. Her royal majesty Queen Elizabeth of House Windsor of England has decreed that all ships passing through here must pay a tax. Pay up or be punished. Ah, a stoic man. A battle it is. I'll warn you, I've never been bested. (laughing) In sealing combat. (laughing) - [Shayne] A (beep) duel. (laughing) - Hey mom, can we jam on
something for a minute? All the other boys in my
class are already pregnant, I'm the last one not to! I peed all over this box and
it didn't tell me nothing! Look! It's the pee box. ♪ It's the pee box. ♪ ♪ It's a pee box. ♪ ♪ That I peed on. ♪ ♪ That I peed on. ♪ There you go. ♪ [Together] That I peed on. ♪ - Okay, get outta here. (laughing) - Yo, would you like to try these drugs? Don't do it. Don't do the drugs. I'm Yoda. Drugs you do. - Oh my god. - And I'm a bunny, do the drugs! (Courtney screaming) - From the hit show, "The Witcher", comes, "The Itcher". Aw (beep). Oh god. (laughing) - Oh my god. (Courtney laughing) - This is the ghost that's so scary that he scares himself too. (laughing) Boo! (screaming) Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Oh my god. Okay we are in this together. Honestly you and me. (laughing) - Hey guys, Mr. Johnson here again. Just wanted to give you
a quick announcement here that we're gonna be joined today by our classroom handy pal here with an important announcement
for you guys all right. Take it away Mr. Snuffles. Okay, so hi children. So some of you guys have
been giving Mr. Johnson a really (beep) hard time. (laughing) He's just trying to do his job and he doesn't get paid enough for this and frankly you guys are acting like a bunch of pieces of crap, sorry I'm not supposed to
be moving my lips for this but I think you guys get
the message here okay. (laughing) - [Shayne] Yay. - So you've been feeling
tired, feeling anxious. Or as you describe it, "not so desu ne". (laughing) Pepper. (laughing) - Dammit. God dammit, well done. - From the hit series,
"The Witcher" again, comes, "The Glitcher". (Stuttering) Jennifer. We gotta, we gotta find-- (loud banging) We gotta, we gotta find ser-ser-- (drumming) ♪ Pass a coin-- ♪ No I can't sing that song. (laughing) - Family and friends
we're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Jeffrey Peterson, a beloved mother, or sorry
father rather, of four, and a devout friend to many. As we all know, Mr. Peterson was killed in a house fire earlier this month and before his passing
he was able to leave a final message for his parting thoughts for his family and friends and we will play that for you now. (screaming) (laughing) - Oh my god. - I'm sure you all know what he meant, being so close to him. (laughing) - Amazing. - Up next at the Giggle Hut, Jeff Dunham! (puppet screaming) (laughing) - Everyone's parents love him. - [Gus] Do it again. (Courtney laughing) - Wait shush, shush. (puppet screaming) (laughing) - I'm a ventriloquist! - Hey man. Wanna see a trick? My mother says I'm not
supposed to do this but, (mumbles) Watch this. (laughing) Care to take a splash from
the fountain of youth maybe. (laughing) - What on Earth. (calming music) - You know, when they said we'd be shipped out to leper colony I was like really disappointed but this has been pretty lit. - Yeah. - Sorry, all right, that's 15-love. (laughing) - 30-love. - All right. Hey Jerry! This yours? - Jerry, is this your foot Jerry? - Hey check this out. - Yeah, all right get it,
get it, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - Oh, sorry. Yeah you know I gotta be careful. - [Sarah] Time. - That would've been so cool. - This is me setting the prop up first. (laughing) We now present, a day in
the life of Jason Statham. (laughing) What in god's name is this? (laughing) I just assume he's not very
careful as a sexual partner. (laughing) - Hello, it's me, Alan Rickman. And I am in with jail but don't worry I have a plan to get out. I bet you know what I'm thinking. (laughing) - Sup. Boomerang. (banging) Just like dad. He didn't come back that time
he went to get cigarettes. Oh well, he did come back later but then we played boomerang together so. (laughing) My father is a very caring man, I'm sorry. (laughing) - I know Frankie, what
did you think of it? (phone beeping) Yeah same. (laughing) I'm not, that wasn't the bit. - I know. - I might've had you right? (phone beeping) Oh my god. Oh my god is that baby Yoda? (laughing) - From the makers of "The Witcher", "The Glitcher", and that other
one that I already forgot, from the makers of "The Witcher", comes, "The Witch R". So I was driving through
like a drive through, right. And then you know, and
then a witcher be like, "Hey, why can't I fly
through the drive-through?" (laughing) - I just I know I'm not
gonna make you laugh. I'm just not, I'm not cut out for it. I'm not gonna (mumbles) the big leagues. But what I do gotta do is fart. (high pitched humming) (laughing) That's what I'm gonna give you. And I'm gonna go 'cause I'm not cut out to make Gus laugh yet. (high pitched humming) (laughing) (high pitched humming) Okay, I'm gonna go now. - [Sarah] Time. - Hello, I'm Alan Rickman again. And I think that your
favorite thing to laugh at is the comedian Gallagher, so if you would just do me a solid and pretend that's a melon. (laughing) I don't know what he says but look at me I'm Gallagher. (balloon popping) - [Ian] Whoa. - And that's how you
get pragent, Khaleesi. And that's why you don't
get points for Gryffindor. I don't know what I'm doing now but it's no longer Rickman. Now who think they faster than me? (laughing) This is how they do stuff
in "Kingdom Hearts". And that's not how you hold a sword but in "Kingdom Hearts" it is. I'm no longer Alan Rickman. I have become Waluigi, maybe. And I think you are just a nice fellow and I hope you invite
me to hang out again. I'm sorry I was sick but I appreciated, I really was, I really was. It wasn't that LA like, "I'm sick man wish I could come." 'Cause I told you the
morning of that I could. (laughing) And then I like-- (laughing) - Hey. Stupid. Worthless. Disappointment. Just like dad, you know. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, if you
think I'm the funnier brother don't say anything. There you have it. - [Courtney] Oh my god. - [Shayne] You were the chosen one. - [Courtney] Wow. - [Shayne] Dang it
nothing makes him laugh. (cheerful music) (laughing) - Jerry? Oh my gosh it's so nice
to meet you finally. I mean, gosh, who
would've thought on Bumble we would've both met here. That's crazy! Well wow, do you like skiing or something? I mean we're stuck here for like 20 years. (laughing) All right well, as we
discussed in the dm's. - [Sarah] Oh my god. - You have the hamster? - [Courtney] Oh! - [Sarah] Time. (laughing) - All right, okay, you got this Shayne. You got this Shayne. Please god, please. I'll be right back I
gotta record something. (laughing) Dude, bro. Like freaking bro, dude, trust me bro. Dude, yesterday went
over to Emily's place. Dude, and you freaking
know, you know that we-- - [Shayne Voiceover]
"Moby-Dick", by Herman Melville. Chapter one: "Loomings". Call me Ishmael. Some years ago, never
mind how long precisely, having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular
to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of
driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself
growing grim about the mouth, whenever it is a damp,
drizzly November in my soul, whenever I find myself
involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear
of every funeral I meet, and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking
people's hats off. Then, I account it high time
to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish, Cato throws himself upon his sword. I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me. There now is your insular
city of the Manhattoes, belted round by wharves as
Indian isles, coral reefs, commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets
take you water ward. Its extreme downtown is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves and cooled by breezes, with a few hours previous
were out of sight of land. Look at the crowds of water-gazers there. Circumambulate the city of
a dreamy Sabbath afternoon. - [Ian] Circumambulate? - [Shayne Voiceover] Go from
Corlears Hook to Coenties Slip, and from thence, go to Emily's house, where we totally smashed. We smashed a lot. Trust me bro, like, freaking bro. We totally smashed. And then we smashed some more. Bro, we absolutely totally smashed. And when Queequeg
entered, he also smashed. We smashed, he smashed. We all did the Monster Smash. (laughing) (sighs) Oh my god did that not make you laugh? Dammit, nothing makes you laugh! Sucks. "Shayne, what seems to be the problem?" Nothing Michael Caine, I just, I'm trying to make a joke for Gus Johnson and once again I can't make him laugh. "You mean Gus Johnson? "From 'The Gus & Eddy Podcast'?" Yeah that one. "He's so funny. "I love his jokes. "Especially his one about
when strangers take your photo "but they're always blurry." Yeah I know, it's a great joke. It's really funny. "Hey, what seems to be the problem?" (laughing) Nothing John Travolta. I'm trying a joke for Gus Johnson but nothing makes him laugh. "Oh well have do tried doing
the one about Bob Stoops?" Yeah I tried that one it didn't work. "Aw man I'm so sorry. "Nothing seems to work." I don't, John, you gotta get out of here. "Yeah you don't seem so good John." Chapter two: "The Carpet-Bag." (laughing) - Come on! God dammit! (laughing) - [Courtney] Oh my god, man. - [Shayne Voiceover] God, (beep). (laughing) - [Courtney] Oh my god! - [Sarah] Time. - Dammit. - [Courtney] Still undefeated. - Dammit. - I feel like I just had a
hemorrhoid, or hemorrhage. (laughing) - I'm not, the goal is not
to get you spit out water, it's just to make you die. (laughing) - But thank you guys
so much for coming on. Good ol' boys. Humor runs in the family for sure. Where can they find you guys, yeah? - YouTube.com/svenjohnson I don't know, just type in Sven Johnson on YouTube, that's what everyone does. - You can look me up Gus Johnson, I do sketches and Sven does too. - I do sketches too. (cheering) - We love you guys. They do sketches, we also do sketches. We do lots of videos and if you want proof of concept, we have a YouTube selected
video right over here. YouTube picked it just for you. They're like, "Yeah hey, that's a video." Believe them. And then another video right here that we personally selected from our own back pocket. It is a video. Meanwhile, still got a
champion of try not to laugh. How many episodes have we done?
I'm only like 6 minutes through, but Sven's skit with the skateboard caught me so off guard, I loved it
Edit: holy fuck Sven's skit on Damien and Gus' monkey skit are so funny too
Shayne's bit was godly
I remember somebody saying once that it’s not that gus doesn’t laugh, he just has excellent control over his facial muscles. He’s obviously dying at the end but he just forces himself to keep his mouth closed.
Honestly, Sven was funnier than Gus 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤫🤫
I don't like Smosh(anymore) but these episodes with Gus in it are pretty funny... And that Shayne bit at the end, fucking killed me
I love when gus is in their try not to laughs
Shayne’s bit with Gus, and all of Gus and Sven’s bits were definitely worth the watch
Okay, now I’m positive. Gus is joining Mythical Inc. I think He and Sabrina are the only 2 YouTubers who could take over from Rhett and Link one day.
Was a good one