How many of you have never heard me before? Awesome! Some of you are just looking at me like this. I'm free from me, which makes me free from
you. Ah, it's a really good thing. I got this picture while we were doing worship
tonight. I'll get back to that freedom thing because
I have lived in it for 10 years. I was in bondage for my whole life and I was
victim to the fear of man. Trying to impress people and trying to make
you think I was something that I wasn't. And that's what the devil does. He tries to make people think he is something
when he is nothing. I got a picture of an army and they were fighting
this battle and they were closing in. The army was standing firm and I got this
picture of this General that was back in the back. This General doesn't hang out front. At least today they don't. Back then they charged. Today they hang back. You know you see Braveheart. He is on the front lines, man. Or you see Generals when you are fighting
on horses or you watch Lord of the Rings. They are out front you know. You might not watch that but I have. They are pretty cool. And, ah, I got this picture of this General,
he is in the back. And he is like really protected, really fortified. He is back behind all this protection. And you got all the other fighters that are
out there. And no matter how hard the troops got hit. Like, the General never got touched. And so in the natural, in an army, who has
more protection, the Private or a General? The General, I mean it's obvious. From that illustration it is. Well, like in the body of Christ we have accepted
a lie. And we have said that different levels different
devils. That's not in your Bible. And the more you grow in Christ the more you
get attacked. That's not in your Bible either. The devil hates everybody that believes in
Jesus. But, we can develop a fear mentality and all
of a sudden be weighed down by the issues in life. And never understand why we are in this thing. And you can be a pastor for forty years and
still not have peace and been doing your job and in the trenches and you'll need a retreat
to find your rest Or you will need a once a year gathering in
order to get filled up and this will never keep
you filled up. I just figure I would start there. I am not going to bring a message that's a
bummer. Because the Gospel is not a bummer. We are supposed to move from glory to glory
not bummer to bummer. Are you guys all right? I am just going to pour out my heart, man. I promise this, I promise transformation. Because, any kind of grace that does not lead
to transformation is demonic. Because, the grace of God transforms. But grace of God has to begin in the place
of rest. And if we don't stay in a place of rest there
is no way to make it. You can't just proclaim to have rest you actually
have to be in rest. Because you will never find rest from vacation,
you will never find rest from a retreat. You will never find rest from a conference. You will have a momentary emotional rest. And a little bit of freedom at a conference. Or at a pastor's retreat or whatever you would
do once a year to gather. I have done lots of these and I'm totally
ok with doing them. But we need to establish a lifestyle of rest
on a constant basis, to where you are not drained from ministry. You're never supposed to be drained from ministering. You're never supposed to need God to fill
you back up again. I don't read any of that stuff in my Bible,
it's not there. We have made books on it and there not real. You can not have somebody pray for you to
get filled back up. Your cup runneth over. You can't afford to give in ministry out of
anything less than overflow. You can't afford to give out of something
that you've learned. I've never studied the Bible to teach people. I've never read that thing to try to preach
a sermon. I just can't do it. It's crazy to try to make a certain amount
of points in a sermon. Nothing you're not supposed to come up with
sermons because pastors have to come up with them every week. I just came back from, I was just in Poland,
and I was just in Norway and Switzerland. I was there for one day in, one day back and
ten days in-between. And in my ten days there I did 32 meetings. I mean full on meetings like, full on. Not like one half hour, I am talking hours
and hours and hours of never ending Gospel truth. But I, since I got born again I've seen something
different. And I believe it's the simplicity of this
Gospel that we've complicated. And I believe that when we complicate it we
have to come up with stuff to try to, to fill the fill the time slot. But the time slot can be filled with the never
ending Gospel, that constantly flows out of a
fountain that we have. And then as we minister it's not about trying
to get a word for somebody. It's about rivers of life giving water that
flows out of your belly, on a constant basis. I don't do ministry, I do Jesus. I've never ever tried to sir up the gifts. Like I am saying like, pray for, what do you
have for me today Lord. I just walk with him. I didn't know him and then I did. Like, the ministry has been revealed it's
not a mystery anymore. The cat is out of the bag. Like, it's Christ in us, the hope of Glory. It's really that simple. And sometimes when I talk people hear. Awe, well you've been in it for ten years. Well let's see how you do in twenty more. Well, people told me that when I first got
born again. Let's, see where you are in 10. Here I am. I am more in love with Jesus today and that's
the key. See I am in love with Jesus. I don't just, I don't just do conferences. I don't just go speak. I am in love with Jesus. Every day, all day long. It never changes. I've always been in love since I got saved. I didn't know him and I didn't see anybody
that I wanted what they had in me. I didn't want what people that confessed to
be Christians said they had because they didn't see anything worth value. And I think a lot of the reasons is, because,
that people look in the mirror and they don't see there own value and that's the problem. I'm going to roll man and we're going to just
go and I just want you to just be ok with it. But please, if there's any kind of presumption
inside about who's speaking right now. I'm in love with Jesus. And I promise you, that it is going to be
like a Holy Spirit wrecking ball because he is so
good. He takes out the trash so that there is none
left. Like he is a trash taker outer. See if there is a problem with the fire it's
not that God changed. If there is a problem with the flame it's
not because God changed. You as a leaders have more protection than
anybody. What's to make you think that if the army
has more protection in this world than leaders have less? No way! Man, we've got like God on our side. Like, if God be for us than who cares who
is against us. If greater is he that's in me than he that's
in the world. What are we worried about and why is it so
draining. Listen, God has the spirit of counsel available
for when you counsel. He's got the spirit of wisdom available for
when you need wisdom. The spirit of wisdom and revelation and the
knowledge of him is what we really need because what people are looking for is him. What we need to do is give him, Him. When someone comes up to me and asks a question
they just need him. It's not complicated. Look, I am on this inner strengthening course. Because the Bible says be strengthened in
your inner man. And I've been going after that thing. And I've been being strengthened in my inner
man. Like, core training of the gospel, since I've
got saved ten years ago. I mean I came out of twenty two years of addiction
and atheism and anger and hatred. I grew up in the Masonic homes and after I
got out of there, I joined the military to straiten my life out. Nobody ever told me about Jesus, man, my whole
life. I went in the military and then I, went to
boot camp, went AWOL, and ran away. Up in Colorado, hid in the mountains, a pipe
dream. Got arrested out there, get shipped back across
America, get put in the brig. I am in the brig for eight and a half months. Then I get out of there and I am waiting for
my discharge. It didn't come so I went AWOL again. The Marines don't like that. I had a severe authority problem. I was a basket case. I've been in for psychologists all different
kinds of stuff. Nobody could fix me. They tried to get inside my head. They tried to fix what was wrong in me. What was wrong was I was separated from God. That was the real answer. I was separated and when I got born again,
I wasn't. But that relationship intensified after I
got saved. This is an amazing privilege that we have,
to be able to represent him in a lost and dying
world. I don't just like, I don't do ministry. I can't stress that to you enough. I do Jesus, but that's for every pastor, apostle,
prophet, evangelist, teacher. It's for every, all the five fold gifts is
for us to manifest Jesus. All, are you guys ok? Can I walk down there? Is it legal? Man, you don't understand, some places, they
keep me in a little box. I can't even turn sideways. Sorry, I drank large amounts of water. Thanks, buddy. When I, when I, I got busted again and got
extradited back to the Marine core base. And then eight and a half months later after
that one, they weren't going to like keep me
in. They kicked me out and gave me a bad conduct
discharge. So everything was bad in my whole like, life. I couldn't get jobs. You can't write that on your application. People don't want to see that stuff. Fill out your resume, oh yeah, I was uh. It doesn't work. I got a bad conduct discharge from the military. Yes, I need the job. So, I came out and couldn't get jobs, quit,
got fired, just made a mess of my life. No Christians interrupted my path, the whole
time and I'm not kidding. And granted I was a thief, granted I was scary. But those are the kind of people that I think
Jesus would have walked up to. Matter of fact, I know they would have followed
him without food for days. Because Jesus they followed. We are to be imitators of Christ. Imitators of Christ and walk in love. That's what we're to be. This thing is all about the love of God. It's not about anything else. It's not about big churches. Although God's not afraid to have a big church. Well, we can't worship programs. We need to worship him because he is everything. We all have the ability to walk just like
Jesus walked. My heart is overwhelmed right now, ok
Because I am trying to keep from crying. Because I am looking out there and I'm seeing
God's champions. You guys have an amazing opportunity to change
the world. And sometimes we allow life to squeeze us
in situations, to squeeze us and mold us. And you know you pour into people and they
don't get it. And you pour into people and they don't get
it. The key factor to them not getting it is them
not learning to pursue it themselves. Because as pastors and leaders you're not
meant to keep your people fed. The pressure is off. It's true, your not their savior, Jesus is. But he comes and he makes his home inside
of them and the Holy Spirit becomes a teacher. Then, he teaches and trains them and it says
you need no one to teach you. And in 1 John 2:27 you need no man to teach
you for you have the anointing to teaches you all things, all things, that are true. He's the teacher, He's the one. It's God the Father, God the Son, it's not
God the Holy bible. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy
Spirit. Because without the Holy Spirit the Holy Bible
is not understood. But when the Holy Spirit comes, when the anointing
of God comes into a person's life. When they're taught that they should pursue
that and us as leaders not be scared for somebody to get it. Like, to get that Holy Spirit and be like,
yeah, you can do it. Because sometimes we don't want to be, you
know, hey, careful, we don't want you to go off track, man, I mean. People told me since the beginning of my life
this is a marathon not a, or a marathon not a sprint but I couldn't find that in my Bible,
either. It's not in the Bible. You can't find it. It's not even in the Message Bible. It's not. It's not. It's not a marathon, it's not a sprint, it's
a race. It's a race. You can't run the race without the Holy Spirit. You'll burn out. You won't make it. Holy Spirit is the key to everything. He's like the key, like the key, like Jesus
said, you know I can't do anything without him. He said the Son can do nothing of himself
in John 5:19. What he does, he does because the Father does
it, for what the Father does the Son does in like manner. Jesus said I can do nothing of myself. Jesus Christ the one we worship said he couldn't
do anything without the Holy Spirit. What makes us think we can do anything without
him? What are we thinking? I remember the revelation that God gave me
one time when I was pumping gas. God said to me you know you can't even pump
gas without me. That was really awesome. That's like a deep revelation. Imagine if you knew you that you could not
even pump gas without Holy Spirit. Imagine that. Imagine if he just talked to you about the
person on the other side of the pump instead of
being frustrated about the price of gas. Imagine that, man. Jesus, help me. Help me make it simple God. So I met this girl, we moved in together. A year and a half out of the Marines, moved
in together. I tricked her into thinking I'm a cool guy. Ended up getting sales jobs because I could
lie on the apps. They don't care they just pay commission,
some of the sales things out there. So, I can manipulate, maneuver, really I was
a professional liar. My whole life, a professional liar. Like, the worst of the worst, man. God he sits waiting, patiently for me. God, the world is going to really freak out
when I touch this one. He loves that. He loves that. I thank God that he does. I thank God that when I look at the disciples,
they were no bodies. They didn't have anything. They were fisherman. They didn't have a clue. They were untrained and uneducated men but
they realized they'd been with Jesus. That's so awesome. You know, for thirty four years I never read
a book I couldn't read. So, I never read a book because I couldn't
concentrate, I couldn't comprehend what I was
reading. So, I just didn't bother reading. I'd skim through, find the answers, whatever
I had to do. But I didn't want to read because I couldn't
remember anything and it really bothered me. So I'd get, I'd get, I am talking like, four
pages in and can't even believe that my eyes are
still going on the words. Has any body had that problem, anybody? No, pastors don't have that problem. I did and it was bad. Really bad. So, my girlfriend and I were together for
about a year and a half. Then we had a daughter. When my daughter was born, I realized, I could
never be a Dad. Because I did not know how to be a Dad because
my Dad wasn't there and I definitely didn't know who Dad was. I didn't know who God was, so I had no idea
how to be one. So, in a few months she wanted to leave, so
I was suicidal. Told her I would kill myself. Threatened to do it. Then a few months after that she said I am
going to find someone else to take care of me. You're a looser and a liar, I hate you. A couple of months later I said, I'll kill
you and kill them and kill myself And I thought that way, my whole life. I went to psychologists. I went to doctors. I went to the nut ward. I went every where to try to figure out what
was wrong with me. I went through AA. I went through NA. I did it all, everything. Man, I tried everything. I tried Buddhism. I tried reincarnation. I had the book of Shadows and did the whole
Wicca thing. I did it all. None of it satisfied my heart. Nothing satisfied my heart, ever. I was addicted to pornography. My whole life was just a wreck. I was addicted to everything, everything. Except for seven and a half years my daughter
grew up that way, with an animal as a Dad. Then one night I come back and she's gone,
took my daughter and left. Seven year old kid, nine years in the relationship. Almost nine years in. I went over to her step Dad's house to get
a riffle. And on the way over to the gun cabinet I passed
by a note pad. I was going to make my suicide letter and
I opened a phone book. Just flipped it open by chance. Made checking this thing, opened to churches. I drove to this church. I was angry and didn't understand why I was
even driving there. God did, but I didn't. I get to this church and I meet somebody. And his name's Dan Mohler. I met him that day. And I couldn't even look in his eyes. Because there was something so real in there,
see because the eye is the lamp of the body. And if your eye is single, your whole body
is full of light. But if your eye's not single, if it's not
one purpose, then it's not light, its darkness. How great is that darkness? And you have the capacity to house light. And how you see is everything. But how you see yourself is priority. Because when I look in the mirror. I have to see what God sees. Because if I don't see what God sees. I am waiting for somebody to tell me. And I need to look into the mirror and see
what my Father sees. Because all creation is groaning and waiting
for you, to manifest your father. It doesn't matter how old you are, how young
you are. How old you are in the Lord. All creation is groaning for the son's of
God and the daughters of God to be made manifest. Meaning, all creation is waiting for you,
to manifest Jesus. All creation and how that's manifested is
through and intense relationship with the Father
who's name is love. And the Holy Spirit that empowers that and
makes it active in one's life. And all creation is waiting for that. And sometimes we're waiting for feeling God
touch me. And God did what he did two thousand years
ago. If you need touch you might get touched by
the wrong God. The wisdom of the world is sensual and demonic. It's sensual, it's full of your, its feeling
oriented and it's demonic. Its strategy set up. Demonic strategy set up to deceive people. And it says it's full of envy and self seeking
and everything evil. It doesn't say some, it says everything evil
is in there. Everything. Envy, man, I wish I had your job. It's envy. And people say why I wish I did what you do. It's envy. You can't be in that place. Because if you wish that somebody else, that
you had somebody else's job. It's because you don't see your created value
and you don't understand who you are. This is, this is the hardest thing for pride
to get. I promise you. Because pride doesn't want to be told anything
because pride thinks it knows it all. But spins out of control. Doesn't understand what real grace is. And can not walk in real mercy. And all of a sudden we are just hurting people
that know it all. But really, it's not all about knowing it
all. It's about knowing Him. Because all good gifts come from the Father
of lights. And you are the lights that he is the Father
of. Are you all right? Are we good still? A little. I got to get to the point where I am saved. Because I was just as lost as lost could be,
man. I saw something in Dan's eyes. I saw, I saw love. I saw the reality of it. I was like, dude. I was telling him my stuff. He says, yeah, I get it, I understand
You don't have to listen to me man. He said oh I am but what you're telling me
isn't helping you. I am like, ARH, frustrated because he is all
happy. And I have nothing to be happy about. He wasn't laughing at me. He had this joy inside of him. And nobody could take away. You know what he was? I know what he was now. He was a people's pastor and he spent nine
hours a day on the phone counseling people. And he had that joy. Nine hours a day on the phone. On the phone with trauma, all day long, every
day. And all he did was drill stuff with truth. Like a machine. I never heard anything like it. I would sit there and when I'm telling him
my stuff. He says, he said, ok, listen. He said, since you don't want your life why
don't you give it away? I am like who would want this life? And why would somebody who died two thousand
years ago want my life? So he shared the cross. I am like, fine, whatever. He can have it, fine. That was my prayer. That was it. He said Amen. I'm like, what is that? So be it. So be, whatever? But it was enough for a seed to get in there. So he told me, here's my number. You are going to need it. Make sure you call me, soon. I went home, called my daughter. I told her to tell Mommy that Daddy found
God. She said, "What's he like Daddy?" I said, "I don't know." So powerful but I saw Him in somebody today. The eyes, the lamp, the body. It says don't lay up for yourselves treasures
on earth where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But it says lay up for yourselves treasures
in Heaven where moth and rust can't destroy and thieves can't break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart
will be also. Colossians says set your mind on things above
and not beneath. Ephesians says that I am seated with Christ
in heavenly places. It actually says to boldly approach the throne
of grace in the time of need. When is the last time we didn't need Jesus? So why don't you just live in the throne room? That doesn't mean be so heavenly minded that
you're a flake. That means be so heavenly minded that you're
so earthly incredible. People will have to have more of you around
them. So, I put my daughter to bed that night. My girlfriend was so mad at me. She said now you're going to be a hypocrite. No, no, no everything is going to change. That night, hour and a half after I put my
daughter to bed. Told her never again, out on a crack binge,
first night. First night. There was something that needed to happen. More than just a seed to come in. See, I never read before and the Bible was
something I wasn't about to open. I didn't understand the necessity. Dan kept telling me that the Bible is your
only way. That you need to understand that this is what
you need to do. You just need to open it and say God I have
no clue. And I am like, I am like, yeah, but, like,
I'll just listen to you. Which is the problem in Christianity? I promise you. The problem is taking everybody else's word
for it. And the days we're in right now. People are heaping up for themselves teachers. Because they have itching ears. And false grace and fake grace is out there
right now. And it is destroying people. And it's saying that Gods ok with every kind
of sin and everything. And that's just demonic. Strategy to take Jesus' face and rub it in
the dirt and say here's my king. That's not grace. Grace and power should walk out what the truth
of the Bible calls you to. The spirit of grace and truth was upon Jesus. It's awesome. So that first night I am out on a crack binge,
boom, second night, boom, third night, boom. Again, calling Dan every morning. Dude, I did it again. If God loves me then why am I doing this? Well, Todd God doesn't like, hold you by the
neck and make you do things. Well, He should. It'd be easier. You know what he said? Then it wouldn't be a fight of faith. ARH, I am frustrated. Five and a half months of that went by. Going to church on Sunday. Saying sorry for all the stuff I'd done. Five and a half months later I'm out in a
drug deal one night. Picked up some kid from New York City. He's down in my city. Tell him I'm a cop, rip him off. Got all the drugs in my hand. Tell him to get out of the car. And when he gets out of the door, I hit the
gas to get away and he unloaded a 9MM. Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, at me from 10 feet
away. Soon as my car went. I heard a voice say I took those bullets for
you, are you ready to live for me yet? Well, I thought I was going crazy. So I went and did all the drugs. And then I couldn't get high all night long
So that was really crazy. But the voice wouldn't go away. And it was trapped inside my head, echoing,
constantly. It wouldn't go away. So I went home that night. No bullet holes in my car. Went up to my door. My girlfriend, I hate you get out of my life. Three days later I go to a place called teen
challenge. I go to teen challenge which was started by
Dave Wilkerson. You guys probably know that. I went in there. I enlisted for twelve months to go in there. My girlfriend was glad I'm out. My daughter is sad because I am her only Dad. As bad as it was. I was up for two months. And then these three nights where I had these
dreams where I encountered Jesus in teen challenge. Two months into a twelve month program. Now, I quit everything in my life. So it wasn't looking good on that side of
things. But the first scripture that opened up to
me was in James. It was a month and a half in. The scripture that says if anybody lacks wisdom,
ask God. And I am in the program because I went in
every morning. I opened my Bible an hour before the thing
started, everyday. And I got into the Bible and I had no idea
what I was reading all day, all the time. Went to classes had no clue. They want me to memorize scripture. My brain is so fried from drugs, man. I couldn't memorize it. I really, index cards, ok, ok. I would study it for ten minutes. Alright, ok, alright. Where did it go? And that's really, honestly, but I saw that
scripture in James. If I lack wisdom ask God. And as soon as I read that scripture. I'm sitting down on the couch. I said, oh my God, that's it. I don't have a clue. I'm clueless. I don't have any wisdom. That's it Jesus, that's it. I don't have wisdom at all. It's still the same today. It's been ten years and this is where I live. I don't, I lack wisdom. See do you think you have it, then you don't
need his. But the wisdom from beneath is self seeking,
envious, sensual and demonic. The wisdom from beneath needs to be heard
to make itself feel good. The wisdom from the world, the wisdom from
beneath, is the kind of wisdom that when I share something from a pulpit if you like
it, then I feel good inside. That's demonic strategy.
