TikTok’s that are ACTUALLY Funny

hello everybody and welcome back to my youtube channel or welcome to my youtube channel i'm call me chris you can call me chris and your lips are looking at the lump shoes right now sorry i could know myself today we are trying not to laugh at lad funny tick tocks because i need to laugh because i am stressed i am very stressed i can sense that you're stressed too so let's laugh together okay let's get to it i am fighting every single intrusive thought in my brain right now to not pop this in my room what's in there oh it's confetti yeah i have to fight intrusive thoughts too mine are a little different i'm having one right now actually you have a truck full of oranges thank you it's free thank you so much and it's pre-cut i'd be so concerned if somebody gave me a pre-cut mandarin out of their ford truck i don't even know what kind of truck that was what is this man doing with all these oranges did he steal these oranges you know what give me all the oranges i see you there she's not in progress oh they're moving oh my god the tables have turned everybody else you should just like wind up and just kick those things now they're coming back with vengeance if any change change all i have is a breast implant you got more of those in there you got my i got money i got money yeah can you also implant them into my business oh you gotta have that pepper you know what i mean pepper oh yeah i know this one it is called the sneezing cheesen the sneezing season is my favorite type of cheesen and also the freezing fleas and trees and treason how is it it's eating mac and cheese more mac and cheese oh i want making cheese it's better out of the right man is he eating that wait with sunglasses he was eating that with ray-bans you gotta be next level incapacitated to do that is that the word no like drunk what's another word for drunk oh my mind is drawing a blank under the influence to uh to be eating your mac and cheese with a ray ban but hey i respect it okay now anything not to use the hands i've used some weird things of spoons before the current prices of gas i will only be drinking not driving so i will not be drinking and driving just you're doing a service to all of us you're saving money you're getting [ __ ] up so you're you're not getting [ __ ] by money what i like your hair that's one of my favorite things to do at like a restaurant or something if there's a kid just like and the kids are always like this at me they're staring at me like in the high chair like and i'm just like hi and they're just like ugly and i'm just like you you little piece of [ __ ] i trailed off what i meant to say is that i try to make kids laugh when they're in the high chair i don't i don't swear at them only sometimes it's drinking ranch i saw someone breaking the law and i interceded eating pizza and drinking the ranch sir you are so smart that is next level that is like low-key high-key kind of genius but also stupid you know what i'm saying point it complementary alcohol 70 that's why it's in such a small bottle so you don't drink so much of it anyway i think that's hand sanitizer boo but i mean it also is alcohol i guess you could get drunk off hand sanitizer if you really tried i guess it wouldn't really be that hard don't drink hand sanitizer kids don't do it drink alcohol and stuff this is great just a with this three and this brick wall you built between us what is that is that for like testing how you sleep and stuff tell me in the comments below if you know what that is i hope she's okay though that was a contraption i mean you gotta try it trust me this [ __ ] is so good man it's just try it ice cream he said if you haven't tried ice cream you should try it this shit's good ice cream i think you should try it too even though it blows up my ass because of my lactose intolerance you should still try it it's delicious it's worth the pain and worth your toilet getting clogged hello [Music] so girls got cookies in the people that's so girl scout cookies go cookies yo who tells people to pull their pants well i don't know where her pants are sitting i'm sure they're sitting in a good place how your parents were when you cut the tag yep and you're going to jail i never got in trouble for oh you know what i did i just ripped the tag off and then i would like rip the stitches with it i've got a hole in my shirt i'm terrible at opening things like i am the worst at opening things boxes opening up about my feelings especially cereal boxes i [ __ ] that [ __ ] up 99 of the time it's just a weird fact about me but now you know i eat one big meal in the middle of the day like a snake i call it snake meal and it's always thirty thousand calories and then i have another thirty thousand and i went to the doctor and i told him about snake meal and he said i wish you wouldn't do that no [ __ ] 30 000 calories my toxic trade is thinking i could i could down 30 000 calories easily i know i'd probably throw up after 10 and just like call it a day but you know what if this video gets to 500 000 likes i will attempt to eat thirty thousand calories in a day i'm gonna regret that okay how do you say it hey uh babe would you like some tea what kind what kind of tea do you want could i get that uh chamale chamomile yeah if we don't have uh chamomile could i get some preparment peppermint no and if uh if we were in a parliament uh could i get some kai are you saying chai i don't think you're listening to me no no no oh that pizza was like oh so crispy i love burnt pizza i like to like break my teeth on stuff like i love when toast is burnt or pizza's burnt or marshmallow that's burnt it's so good and i had gloves on but the gloves had a hole in it she dyed her hair red oh oh my gosh it looks like why is it yellow her finger's infected oh okay we are at the vending machine why is there an apple watch in there it's like 2.99 it was supposed to be like a snickers apple watch do you want a distraction yeah that would be nice that's good does anybody else when they get a shot i hate getting shots even thinking about it when they get a shot i i like pinch my other arm or like i do something to my other arm which is kind of counterproductive because then i'm just hurting myself on the other i made myself bleed before because i didn't want to feel a shot something psychologically wrong with me oh where what was we what was we doing we was [ __ ] oh i don't know if i can with that i don't have your ass like this for real i was i was dogging yo [ __ ] i feel like [ __ ] maybe i feel better if i put on a bra no you know what maybe i'll feel better if i put makeup on and i put some like pretty clothes on no me every morning she made fun of me for getting capri suns and then she drank eight of my capri sun sex i love caprese you ground her or i fight her so there's two options either you grounder or a fighter i like this man's attitude i like it let's fight to the death over the capri suns also if you're not putting the straw in the back of the capri sun like a boss ass [ __ ] i don't know what you're doing with your life okay you gotta take it from behind i'm sorry what if you had underwear it looked like this disgusting oh i would never girl i can only imagine what that wind smells like oh it'd be nasty wind oh that breeze that breeze would be like a dump truck and dog [ __ ] fast where's rachel treacher i want to get on top of a roof and yell where's rachel with the batman mask on now where's rachel where's my jaw you should probably put your pants back up though there's some people coming that's a good friend right there you better recognize a big deal this mofo the mayo goblin oh my gosh she really is that's a lot of man it's strange why do i feel so burnt out all the time when i also feel like i'm doing absolutely being nothing with my life i feel you on another level talking to the same friend on two different apps i had a weird day at work i made some hot cocoa at work lately uh i've been having very vivid nightmares yeah i'll be like talking to my mom on one end just being like yeah no it's like crazy like i saw these pots and pans from costco and they were on sale and it's great and i'll be talking like my other friend about like did you see his body it was so nice like i want to ride it like a slippery slide what literally never said those words before in my life i don't talk like that i swear to god i'm abstinent gave me grapes for valentine's day why my sister is dumb oh she's doing a horoscope thing struggle keep the trigger ew i hate feet bruh feet are nasty they're nasty wanna see my feet [Laughter] no you nasty oh heck yeah they have like yeah man i haven't had a spray it's so long i woke up in your chubbiest dog look at him look at her little chubber oh he's a cute little chubby he's chunky he's a donkey dog in a cute weight you just won 20 million but yeah homie's bail is 90 19 million i don't care if that's my bro son brother blood it don't matter throw him under the jail bro that's ribonkulous there's no way you could really do something that vile facts the only way i would no i wouldn't no my family would rot in jail sorry fam hey i love you send you a cake when your booty itch and it got that certain stank why are we as humans so disgusting and i say that because i too am also disgusting i don't know why i sound like a news anchor but on today's story everyone and i mean everyone scratches their butt and then sniffes sniffest their fingers i can't also speak english i think i've just had a stroke tom okay everybody thank you so much for watching the video i hope you laughed i laughed i had a good time i hope you liked the video if you did please like the video it really helps up the channel also subscribe if you're not already subscribed this is obviously bestest youtube channel ever and if you don't subscribe i will come to your house and i will sneak into your cupboards and then when you open them i will say boom i'll punch you right in the face okay so subscribe here's a video i know you're going to enjoy and i will see your beautiful face in the next video okay bye

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 2,561,244

Keywords:

Id: AHXrdMBiokI

Length: 11min 50sec (710 seconds)

Published: Sat May 07 2022