The Pickup Artist Show Nobody Asked For

hey what's up do you uh do you uh any sort of drinks you can see i need you see a drink do you see a drink you might want to order i'll order for you i'll order it do you come here often do you what are you working around here do you work often you work often do you have a job do you have a job so that was what's known as game now just there i wasn't necessarily spitting game at you uh that was just some example of some game that i could lay down if i was if you didn't smell today we're going to go back to my home country of canada oh canada and we're going to examine some fellow canadians game we got game oh we got game in the great white north all right we tru we do here's the here's a pick-up line that i've used multiple times um it goes like this hey what's up it's [ __ ] cold eh boom pants off buzzy's thumped just like buzzy's thumped what the [ __ ] i mean that's a shirt right we got to make a shirt with that on it fuzzies bumped is what i meant to say okay today we're going to watch a show called keys to the vip that premiered in 2006 on the comedy network in canada in this show two guys go head to head to see who is the better pickup artist now i know i know you're thinking right now you're thinking wait every time this is awesome because every time i've watched pickup content online my first thought is first of all hell yeah this is sick second of all alpha as [ __ ] third of all this is not uncomfortable at all to watch and fourth of all how can i watch someone do this competitively i want to see the olympic games of game i want to see somebody spit in game for glory and for honor not just to get their d's asked well let's do it uh this episode is a magician versus a stripper i mean right away i have some predispositions as to who's gonna win um but you know let's give them both a fair chance here i'm sorry what the [ __ ] is a magician gonna do in this scenario against a male stripper come on dude no girl has ever wanted to [ __ ] after a card trick i can guarantee you that is this your card oh my god it's never happened never happened by the way guys before we start watching noelle and i have another moment house show coming up next thursday october 12th at 5 p.m pacific we're doing another live that's cringe we shot some hilarious sketches and we also shot another cody and noel do where we learn how to pro wrestle and then we actually wrestle each other it's gonna be an absolute blast and if you can't make the stream then you can watch it for 24 hours after as long as you have a ticket so just go to momenthouse.com tinymeatgang to get a ticket and i'll see you there okay let's get into this [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] this already [ __ ] let's meet our contestants in tonight's battle hot body jason takes on mike the magician in a three-round contest at mink nightclub hot body jason vs mike the magician that's your nickname dude that's your nickname you're already at a disadvantage uh by the fact that you're a magician but yeah [ __ ] it put it in the name [ __ ] yourself even harder the other guy's name is hot body his nickname's literally hot body the prize an epic vip event where the champion and his closest friends will enjoy full bottle service and the company of our sexy vip girls that's awesome that's [ __ ] awesome i mean normally the prize for these reality shows is like i don't know money but in this case it's just like yeah so you get out a night you get a free night out with the boys bottle service with these hot actresses who are paid for who are here because they're getting paid here here's one bottle of vodka that you you and your eight friends have to share with a bunch of actresses who are paid to be here and probably want to be pretty drunk congrats all right let's meet these guys shall we all right this is hot body joe he's a kinesiologist by day and a male stripper by night kind of a classic combo honestly if you're asking me by day i'm a kinesiologist and at night i'm satisfying women as a stripper [Applause] [Music] hey mike i hear you're a magician but you ain't got tricks like this baby what the [ __ ] move was that is that a typical male stripper move i don't think so why did it look like he was getting tased yeah mike i hear you're a magician but you know how you don't get the voltage like me dog any guy can go to a website and download the top 10 lines and use them on the girl in the club but that's not going to get you anywhere what go to a website and download the top 10 pickup lines i mean let's see top 10 pickup lines number one kiss me if i'm wrong but dinosaurs still exist right that's pretty good okay how about number six here want to come see my hard drive just kidding it's three and a half inches and floppy that one doesn't seem as good my game is pretty simple i'm straightforward i'm genuine i'm straight to the point this guy rules i'm straightforward i'm genuine and i'm straight to the point and i keep it straight and i don't beat around the bush and i'm straight with you and i'm also straight and i'm not gay it's great it's fun but the truth is uh i've never really been rejected never been rejected what a record this guy is 2-0 baby wow all right let's meet mike the magician let's see what he's all about i don't have a lot of faith in this guy ow mike the magician hey what's up guys i'm mike and i'm a magician i've been doing magic for the past okay not a great first impression gotta be honest i mean could you be more of a caricature really the fedora dude come on yeah what's up it's mike the magician why are you talking like that women want what they can have they want a guy who's different they want a guy who can go make them laugh and be original they want a guy to guess their card right they want a guy to pull a [ __ ] rabbit out of a hat they want a guy to split them in half literally on stage they want a guy to pull a [ __ ] giant like never-ending bandana thing out of their [ __ ] throat or whatever so of course like every early 2000s show there's a panel of judges pickup experts that watch the dudes lay game and then pick at the end who they think the winner was and they like roast them obviously you guys are just not gonna believe salud i chose this [ __ ] tonight because windows was having a [Laughter] that stale even a good impression of him honestly that sucked what are you doing it wasn't even close what are you thinking right now i think mike the magician might just be one of the most interesting guys we've ever seen on the show the seductive nature of magic is undeniable i think he's what are you talking about dude the seductive nature of magic what are you talking about i can think of a lot of words to describe magic but seductive is nowhere in there i can't imagine something that would dry someone up more than a [ __ ] card trick on the dance floor hey i know you are grinding with me right now but think of a number all right let's get into round one in round one each player has five minutes to get a woman to buy him a drink whoa buy them a drink all right i like that flipping traditional gender rolls on their head this show is actually really progressive hi do you remember me [Music] that's always a pretty dope thing to do honestly if someone asks if you remember them and you don't you go yes because that gives you time to think right you probably didn't see that there i was thinking the whole time how the [ __ ] do i know this girl you know what i'm saying but it didn't seem like that seemed natural as [ __ ] mr hot body here is clearly a veteran and that i can appreciate let's see what else he's got if you buy this round i'll buy all your rounds for the rest of the night he did it that took no time my man did it mr hot body i didn't i never doubted him i never doubted him he secured the drink i never doubted him let's see what he says next so you're gonna give me your number you want a drink you can put it under sexy black chips you're black i'm with these guys what the [ __ ] did you just say you're black i don't i don't really see this it's not going too well i don't know questionable thing to say there to be to be honest oh really i just thought you had a pen i'm kidding was that a race joke oh what out of everything you could have joked about there she said her race and you thought this is the right time i'm jumping with a joke right here i don't know if race was the best thing in that conversation to latch onto for a little joke but you know he's the master so we'll you know we'll see we'll see if it works out you're crazy you just wanted to see if i would buy you a ring anymore i'm getting drunk yeah dudes i'm with you again dudes these are my guys right here yeah i i'm a little bit confused by that move isn't the goal here to smash aren't you doing the opposite of that by walking away i don't know i can i don't know this i don't know what this man is doing let's see how mikey fares in round one hey guys my name's mike i can actually read mine i'll tell you no no i'm gonna line up ten shots for you guys but if i do my thing if i can actually read your mind you're gonna have to get me a shot oh my god my man mike coming in hot with the magic right off the rip the first thing he said was hey guys i can read minds oh creepy do i look like a waste of time oh no do i look like a waste of time she said yes i want you to imagine that i have an invisible deck of cards no no no i don't know what's worse having an actual deck of cards in the club or asking a girl to pretend that you have a deck of cards what yo just imagine that i'm wearing my fedora right now i forgot it at home by accident but just imagine i am can you see that card and i have here a box nadia i want you to hold them oh you just dude it's just oh everything about this is so uncomfortable he's just screaming at these girls the music is like dudes dudes in the background he's like okay what i know what i want you to do this [ __ ] hot breath on them this [ __ ] hot nasty magician breath just pouring all over them okay what i want you to do now is think of a one between the queen and the four and then subtract five what card were you thinking of ace of hearts listen to this nadia you've been holding that deck the whole time look at this this cardboard take a look is that your card no way who else wants to suck that guy's dick right now i mean the girls seem impressed i'll give him that okay but the other dude was just like hey can you buy me a drink i'll get the next one and she's like okay easy as that you know you know you don't gotta jump through all these hoops anyways mike ends up winning round one i don't know why but i mean the other dude said like five words and also made a race joke so i guess it wasn't that hard let's see how round two goes in this round each player has five minutes to impress us with his unique seductive ability freestyle i like that i like no structure yeah just flow dude go out there and show us what you do best let's see your best game dude let's see your best line show us your best line right now are you are you wearing underwear good good good that's your best line are you wearing underwear [ __ ] yeah honestly the dinosaur line from the website would have been way better than that travesty so maybe you should have downloaded the top 10 lions before you headed to the club okay let's see what mike's got what do you got for us dude let's see your freestyle uh honestly a card trick doesn't sound that bad after that last one what's your name honestly i gotta learn some of those dances this guy is so goofy it's like kind of hard not to love him you know what's going on honestly i gotta learn some of those dance moves hey what's your name i'm mike nice to meet you i got to show you something really crazy oh no no no no no don't you do it i'm going to show you something we'll take a napkin oh come on honestly you are one of the cutest smile i have ever seen i really have cute eyes only the special people in my life get one of these what is it it's my favorite only the special people in my life get one of these and girls i've known for five seconds at a random bar [Music] that's what i'm talking about that's what i'm talking about sorry i just made fun of my own people there jesus okay so he just went complete opposite end of the spectrum there he didn't even lay down a pickup line he just lit something on fire in the middle of the club which nowadays if you did that you would get thoroughly arrested which actually might not be a bad thing because then you could do one of those like getting arrested tick tocks you know no no the magic was too dope i love you because that is the ultimate game round three let's see what it's all about now you're thinking wait but what else could there be i mean they did the drinks they did the freestyle oh the d floor makeout yup let's get it each player must try and obtain a kiss good luck boys [Music] this guy has like a full five second processing time like anytime any one of these girls says something to him he's like okay well then i'll buy you one too it's like computing in his head like registering female statements generating game response [Applause] divide and conquer he's taken her away from the group he's created an intimate atmosphere for her they're talking they're he's upping the sexual anti maybe i don't know anything about game dude the pickup is so creepy he's taking her away from her friends who she's who she knows and is comfortable with she's isolating her that's a good move dog oh mr hot body secures the french kiss [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] that's a sick thing to say right there i have to use the washroom so do i i gotta piss so bad after that kiss but i can't because i have a boner i don't know i don't even know where the washroom is this guy sucks man how did he get that kiss he sucks let's see what mike's got up his sleeve probably like a [ __ ] you know chicken or something oh what was that you see that little back tickle oh [Applause] oh what the [ __ ] hello beautiful oh that is the hottest tattoo i've ever seen that is a hottest tattoo i can't do it i just don't know if i'm feeling the hair right now why i think you can get so much more volume in it and that ladies and gentlemen is what's known as the neg it's when you purposely insult someone to make them like you more i don't really i don't you know i don't know not feeling the hair and your [ __ ] boobies stink my name's mike it's a pleasure to meet you cristina do you have a boyfriend not anymore i'm just waiting for i'm just waiting for him to pull out some stupid trick i'm gonna show you something you might believe it you might not watch it what if he was like what if he was like here take a piece and it was like one of those prank shock gums where she like takes a piece oh what the [ __ ] he's like do you want to make out maybe [Music] i gotta ask you something i want you to buy houses just fight half i'm gonna buy half of it from your mouth but i promise i'm not gonna touch your lips [Music] pretty weird incredible i would i don't know if i would applaud that you know i don't know he kind of forced it a little bit it didn't really feel right i don't know okay so then after much deliberation they finally decide who gets the keys to the vip let's see who our big winner is is it hot body or is it the creepy magician let's see i say we raise a glass to mike the magician congratulations you're our champion tonight enjoy the vip experience is mike the magician [Music] oh [ __ ] it's time to party yeah let's go just mike and the boys night on the town vip style unclip that velvet rope baby because i'm going inside [Music] hell yeah mike and 15 hotties all who are getting paid to be there that seems sick see you know all this time we've been watching [ __ ] up american reality tv but canada knows how to make a show as well all right that was dope i actually remember watching that as a kid like every episode being like oh this is sick well that's it guys um i guess i'll end with a little bit more game i think i'm just going to pick another pick up line randomly off this list and see if it works okay this one's under pickup lines for the smooth guy did you fart because it smells so good over here i had to come over and whiff up your stinky fart my smelly little princess [Music] did it work [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Cody Ko

Views: 2,267,660

Keywords: cody, cody ko, codyko

Id: HskAtjXBsbQ

Length: 19min 33sec (1173 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 12 2021

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[u/strangercosmos]

ngl i saw two photos of cody on the thumbnail instead

[u/Phobrid]

Mike was on fire except the last girl