The Ones With Joey the Ladies' Man | Friends

hi morning name thanks for coming back um okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists great okay now before I make my decision I uh I just want to make sure that our personalities match okay so I made up a little test now I'm going to say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind I can do that okay here we go pillow fight very good Okay g string excellent okay um doggy kitten oh sorry no so close though but okay bye-bye oh here it is oh Joey why did you sign it son of a I didn't do that who would have done that son of a okay maybe ask this guy you get out of my shop what what did he do he went out with my wife Joey who who who I I hey I did not go out with your wife okay I I went out with her that's my wife out well we should go yeah hey hey how's it going did you make any new friends yeah yeah I'm at the this woman hey whoa whoa what she like uh well she's really good in bed so I thought you going to try to be friends first well look hey it's all your fault what why because you didn't give me advice no you gave me a pickup line as soon as I told her I wanted to you know build a foundation and be friends first I suddenly through no fault of my own became irresistible to her and a roommate what about the closeness closeness schmess there was three of us for crying out loud nice car yeah it's uh it's not mine I love your car yeah it's mine I bet it's fast me too yeah and comfortable do you uh you like leather seats yeah it's got him yeah she tops out at 130 wow and that's just in the city I get her up to 160 when I take her Upstate really you got a place Upstate sure well I'll see you later okay take it easy hey that's my car really oh uh but just give me five more minutes with it what what are you doing oh well I uh I found the keys and now I'm just polishing her up but it's my car yeah but it's my wax listen I don't come to this city much and I don't know if you're crazy or if this is some kind of Street Theater but could I have my keys sure here I'll uh I'll save your parking spot not coming back why not I live Upstate yeah so did I so the Porsche guy took his car back but you found the keys to his clothes no I just uh I just love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche and people would think you own a Porsche because you're wearing the clothes of course only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn't have the car that is true yeah but only a genius would swallow a Sonic Blaster gun oh I've been there I am going to go drive my Porche Joey you know you don't actually have one come on what are you doing I'm in character will you talk to her hey hey hey careful around my Pora hi Joey hey how you doing he has the most amazing Porsche under there I'd love to show you but I just tucked her in she's sleeping hey uh would you two girls like to go for a drink please help me I have a date tonight it has to go well okay I'm scared for my health okay okay um oh oh oh I got something okay it's this story that I came up with very romantic I swear any woman that hears it they're like putty really well tell it to me okay now you're going to want to have sex with me when you hear it but you have to remember it is just the story I'll try to control myself okay years ago when I was backpacking across Western Europe you were backpacking across Western Europe having ni six more months Ross okay okay okay I'm sorry please please you you were in Western Europe and I was just outside of Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount tibidabo I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake very secluded and there were tall trees all around it was dead silent gorgeous and across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying why hi again hey hey thank you so much oh don't thank me thank the jerk that never showed up okay I got to get to work you want some help with that oh no thanks I got it oh no I don't whoa okay yeah stood up too fast got a little Head Rush the Heat and and the humidity that's a uh that's a tough combination [Laughter] [Music] do you want to come in for some lemonade like you wouldn't believe wow this is a great place thank you just make yourself comfortable gotcha this place is really my grandmother's [Applause] I got it from her when she moved to Florida otherwise I could never afford a place like [Laughter] this so if the landlord ever asks I'm an 87y old woman who's afraid of her VCR you thirsty oh you bet I am okay here's your [Applause] penis oh oh my God what the hell are you doing you said you want to come in for some lemonade soow were you just going to give me Lemonade yeahuh cover yourself up oh right sorry I don't believe this I mean someone ask you in for lemonade and to you that means they want to have sex um usually yeah not just lemonade iced tea sometimes juice sorry I just thought you liked me such a jerk it's okay I suppose it could happen to anyone not anyone I know but by the way I can still see it hey remember when she brought up that thing about you know the three of us yes vividly she was kidding about that right yeah I I think so yeah I I think so got to be weird if that situation presented itself tonight huh yeah yeah I mean uh what what would we do dude I don't know she was kidding yeah she was but you know what just in case maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules yeah for sure okay probably want the first one to be never open your eyes you know because you don't want to be doing something and then look up and see something that you don't want to be seeing good call nice hold it hold it what if my eyes are closed and and my hand is out there ah okay eyes open at all times oh hey how do we decide where we you know each would you know be right right well I you know we could flip for it yeah I guess but like what's heads and what's Tails well if you don't know that then I don't want to do this with you sorry we're on a major fla high oh no no you're not supposed to be here cuz this is the staging area you should it's all wrong you should leave you know just get out [Applause] or perhaps you'd like a creme DeMent have to be heading toward my Chateau thank you oh all right well then I guess we're going back into the hallway again thanks for coming Mrs [Applause] Green okay you take care oh you kid kids well this is the best party I've been doing Years thank you well what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline takes a lot of hard work so where did you study oh I didn't go to college now where' you study acting olly people don't study acting Molly uh uh do you mind uh giving us just a minute sure I'll go check on Emma thanks well the stable boy never get the princess so what what do you think you were going to do huh have sex with her right here on my couch no the leather sticks to my ass you know this isn't fair what makes you think that I'm just going to sleep with her and then blow her off huh can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actually like her and might want something something real look the truth is I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel okay I didn't think I could ever love again come on you don't have to stop having fun just because I'm here Kathy didn't cheat on all of you well except you hey Joey I don't think that you should leave Chandler alone I mean it's only been two days since he broke up with Kathy maybe you can go fishing next week look there's nothing I can do for him right now he's still in his sweatpants that's only phase one you know I'll be back for phase two I would never miss phase two what's phase two getting drunk and going to a strip club how does going to a strip club make him better there are naked ladies there oh and it helps him get to phase three picturing yourself with other women there are naked ladies there too yeah would you give me one minute please sorry honey I'm just having a having a rough day oh what's wrong oh you really you really just don't want to hear about it then why did I ask okay it's just this is really embarrassing but lately with this whole pregnancy thing I'm just finding myself how do I put this um erotically charged is that college talk for horny yeah so you know I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do about them because I can't date like a normal person which is fine because I don't need a relationship I mean all I really want is one great night just sex you know no strings attached no relationship just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he's doing for just one great night I mean is that really so hard to find so how how was your day been good I uh I saw a pretty big pigeon well I got to get up early and it's almost 7:00 I got I got to go to my room too good night good night I can't do it I didn't ask you to do it you're Rachel you're Joey you're my friend it's right back at you yeah plus it would be wrong and weird and and and and bad and so bad but I don't even know what you're talking about because I didn't ask you to do anything I know you want to do it no me neither I'm just testing you hey well that's the end of this conversation this conversation never happened never happened night good night get back in there very funny Ross very lifelike and funny okay oh no no no no I I wasn't waving at you lady whoa maybe I was hey Monica this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me get in there man flirt back mix it up yeah I'm down with that okay here goes how you are doing it worked she's waving me over okay I'll be right over let's see she's on the third floor wow she is pretty huh tell me about it huh oh no no no no no I'm not with her oh that that's just Monica 385 what do you mean yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff it's just I can't because my manager said that I happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Annie Amy Amy happy birthday to you hey hey that's weird today's my birthday too yeah not in here it isn't happy birthday to you you're paying for that but no no no it's her birthday you've sung happy birthday to 20 different women today but it really you no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins damn it what are you doing here b b are you friends with him I can explain Joey uh okay uh oh yeah you have got some nerve coming back here I can't believe you never called me excuse me oh yeah probably don't even remember my name it's Joey by the way and don't bother telling me yours because I totally remember it lady yeah I waited weeks for you to call me I gave you my number you never called me no no don't try to tell this around on me okay I am not some kind of social work okay that you could just do well I'm pretty sure I gave you my number really think about it come on you're a beautiful woman smart funny had a really good time huh if I had your number why wouldn't I call you I don't know well maybe I'm wrong I'm sorry no no hey no too late for apologies okay you broke my heart you know how any women I had to sleep with to get over you Joey wait no I waited a long time I can't wait anymore I'm sorry that you had to see that I'm so embarrassed oh that's really okay oh yeah that we totally understand dating is hard boy you people are nice and I've got to say I think you going to make excellent parents Laura [Music]

Channel: Friends

Views: 373,603

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Id: cezuaA6nZ48

Length: 19min 57sec (1197 seconds)

Published: Sat May 04 2024