THE BEST OF r/WELLTHATSUCKS

playground go bye-bye I mean it kinda did I guess it just fell over you fell off plus ratio plus you're a playground maybe give it a glass of water and a warm meal and it'll wake right back up you know what I'm saying someone just lost their suitcase oh they just straight up left it it looks like it's in the middle of nowhere out there gotta cut on Booth fingers and now can't hold a pick oh well you're gonna have to start working on the middle fingers man and not just for what you used to work on them for I was enjoying my vacation was all right someone's always got to be breaking the hell in vecna happening to my lettuce it's what oh so your lettuce is just getting gross who infected it blue waffles did our cat didn't like his new litter box finally found the smell oh thanks you little turd you know my cat munchkin did that a couple of times then I put him in a pillowcase for four days and no we don't have that problem I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I don't want any of you to think that I'm not joking and start yelling at me on Twitter about something like no don't don't it was clearly a goddamn joke at least for now my beer froze a bit a bit you want to undersell more things to me man your beer froze so hard it has a thrasher metal haircut my thumbnail after getting hit with a piece of granite it was hit with a piece of granite you need to give us some more detail here ask my wife to keep the oven on low for the burgers puts it on low broil and forget to take the plastic cover off no oh hey well those don't look too bad let's be real someone's shoveling bugs tomorrow wow I'm speechless uh if I showed up to work and I was told I had to clean that up I'd quit no I'm not an arrogant jackass that wouldn't do my job I hate bugs I will not get near bugs get the boy away from me you creepy little freaks I accidentally dropped the tab into the can I've only done that once you just gotta be real careful going forward dude came home after a 12 plus hour day of work to find this did it cause any structural damage to your home or anything like that or is it just gonna be annoying to get out of the way seriously think about this one could have been a lot worse got home and there's no meat on my bacon cheeseburger to be fair the bacon and cheese are spot on yeah that's definitely interesting it definitely does not beat however the one time I ordered a few regular the dollar cheeseburgers from McDonald's and when I got home there was no beef patty it was cheese and condiments on bread I begrudgingly ate everything anyway looks like someone tried to steal my car last night well they certainly tried I wonder why they gave up maybe because they noticed halfway through there's a clutch and they didn't want to bother with a manual ordered a Quarter Pounder from ubereats three pound delivery fee and other fees um something seems a little incorrect here also can we just talk about the fact that your five dollar burger becomes a forty seven dollar order through Uber and doordash and whoever but the driver gets paid nine cents and if you don't give them a giant tip they virtually make nothing at all these services are trash Oh that's where my prescription sunglasses went oh into the lawnmower why'd you put them there that's a terrible place to put them tripped and grabbed my car door handle oh I know what's got yep there It Is Well you know how cars are constructed these days poorly my poor neighbor Direct Hit oh shoot let's hope he's got the full coverage for that one the roundabout near my house caught fire just the roundabout how often does a roundabout have anything happen to it at all let alone fire it took me 15 minutes to finally get the key out of the ignition oh Honda thanks a lot well and any other car brand there are those moments where you just can't get the sucker out of there for some reason when your friends playing lands early in Atlanta but the break fails and catches fire upon Landing well look they're not designed to do that but they're designed to be able to safely stop if that happens first day in months I've had off to play games damn that um dude I I'm sorry that's an expensive Monitor and I apologize on behalf of the universe morning commute a nail got stuck to my tire last night and my tire decided to explode halfway to work well at least you're okay no seriously think about this sometimes you gotta look at the Silver Linings okay slip down the stairs and my elbow landed on my bag now my iPad is curved does it still work but does it does it still work though partner left this under the pan while cooking left what what is that a zip Block Bag what a [ __ ] my robot projects feel off my wait my robot projects feel off my what is this and most of the parts are broken anyway let's take a look at the yeah oh no I'm so sorry went camping with the Buddies last weekend and found this surprise in my tire hey I found one of your tent pegs in case you were wondering where one went well I wasn't what would you like me to do about it no for real though that sucks dude my pizza that got delivered tonight looks like your pizza that's going to be returned or refunded completely I'll still eat it but I'm not gonna be paying for it if it's arriving like this come on my watermelon randomly exploded it actually full-on exploded are you sure you didn't do anything to it come on We're Not Gonna judge you none of the pieces fit this was supposed to be relaxing none of them fit dude return it take this phone photo with you and give it back look a lot of places are gonna take it back no questions asked anyway dude rip food oh oh I see well I'm sorry man there's not much we can do for you just drive the sucker out and send it to a recycling facility how MSI returned to my parts from an RMA defective motherboard wow no that no they're paying for all of that MSI are you freaking kidding me are you actually kidding me screw you my sister dropped a liter bottle of buffalo sauce are you sure your sister didn't accidentally fall into pieces maybe rip open that's no come on before I was meant to wake up I heard a noise of something crashing to the ground and breaking into pieces didn't check immediately but got up a couple of minutes later to see this the shower door for those confused how in the hell did your shower door explode do you have a cat a cat that knows how to shoot a gun went kayaking in 100 degree heat put my sandals back on at the beach to find that they shrunk just a little bit just a teensy-weensy little bit huh only two hours into having a six-year-old guest hope we can get it fixed a six-year-old guest was it someone else's kid well I think the parents get to buy you a new TV put a soda in the hotel refrigerator last night and apparently it was way colder than it should have been yes some of those are really just freezers that sucks I just wanted some chips well that's too damn bad dude chance of dying from this raw Sonic chicken sandwich oh your chance well I don't think it's very high but you should go back and say hey I just bit into a raw chicken sandwich what the flick well oh I'm so sorry moments like this are last straw that broke the camel's back kind of moments for a lot of people I know it would be for me someone broke into and now is living in my grandfather's old storefront and turned it into a drug den huh uh was no one watching the old storefront stray bullet hit the hood of my car on the fourth oh that's really really cool not only are people causing freaking wildfires because of their goddamn fireworks but they're shooting into the air which destroys people's property and can potentially kill them knock it the [ __ ] off this one tried to make it through the flooded Street did it work no it's a valuable lesson don't think you're better than the world don't think you're stronger than God I'm in Suite 86. okay Suites 1 through 29 uh 30-46 87 and 88 and um uh wait hold on maple syrup spilling in my fridge I'm not gonna lie that's actually devastating even if it's on a shelf where you can pop the sucker out and really clean it by hand that just feels awful either my dog got bored or somebody brought home a tall beaver and I can't find the beaver yeah I think your dog really got bored or you've got the weirdest termites in human history puppies ripped apart a neck pillow in my son's room millions of tiny polyester foam balls everywhere oh that's great micro Plastics to the freaking rescue and it was made for kids whoa whoa yeah the previous generations got lead poisoning we eat flick and plastic thanks a lot Boomers passengers totally fine car not so much well that's kind of the idea I know this sucks this definitely sucks but that's why cars are designed the way they are boy up the car you need to be able to walk away the wind knocked over a vase and it hit my treadmill just as I was going to start using it again hope it's not a sign nope I don't think it can be you just gotta keep going bro my FLT I don't know what that's supposed to be had some issues today right in the middle of a packaging delivery truck electrical system error contact your service partner what contact your sit now shut up hey cleaning a microwave is really fun and you're gonna learn on a trip booked a first floor room first floor is really the basement you beautiful view out of the tiny window your air conditioner probably works a little bit better down there though right someone sawed off my wing mirror this morning they sought it off can you make money off of a sod [ __ ] up mirror can you what's even the point someone had a bad day in the DC Metro ice myself please help God bless what would you like me to do that will help you donated with one cup to two girls thank you my master key ring broke key identification card whoops I'm starting to think this view isn't worth golfers aiming directly at our homes really that place better insure you or at least better pay you back in cash for all the damage I'm sure those golfers cause that is ridiculous someone managed to lose their new box of lost item trackers oh man isn't that like 250 bucks as well knowing Apple it's probably more expensive but oh that must suck results from an allergy test my body reacts to every type of local allergen whoo and not well I might add it's gonna be a rough go of it for a while my friend but at least you know someone decided to play Tic-Tac-Toe on my car oh and it wasn't in the dirt or something they just scratched it into your goddamn pain oh these are making me mad no caramel for my ice cream I guess uh okay wow how in the world have cats they said it'll be fun they said no cats were harmed and no plants were seriously injured really the plants weren't seriously injured alright that's impressive good on them late for work shut the fridge door too hard knocked a wine bottle off the fridge hit my coffee bad morning wow I've had pretty bad mornings like that before never with a wine bottle though first night of vacation and we go to pull out the sofa bed for the kids here allowed crunching sound Sun's iPhone fell between the cushions and got caught in the hinges of the bed frame whoa dang that sucker is gone though it's 3am everyone's asleep and I've been trying to get out of my room for 30 minutes what what happened there man currently stuck in an elevator in my apartment building was told about 40 minutes until the tech arrives and I have to pee well pick a corner dude I asked my friend to spray sunscreen on my back not the most even coat yeah the sprays you're still supposed to spread them around by hand I traveled from the UK all the way to Germany to take photos of the devil's eye but when I got there oh really what that actually makes me kind of sad unless that's just normal if that's normal and what it usually looks like during a specific time of year then that's fine but for some strange reason I'm upset thought I bought forks no you did not I ordered gummy vitamins on Amazon and live in Arizona oh well now you only have to take one vitamin that says one a day but now you can take that one for like the next two years apparently I have alopecia now oh what I I see pictures of this all the time with the bananas self peeling when they're hung like that I've never seen it in real life though is it really that common my most useful little kitchen knife went to the great drawer in the sky today after 18 years wow 18 years it was looking pretty good that's how long a knife should last at minimum by the way I see a lot of people posting their allergy tests here behold 40 environmental allergies allergic to all of them oh man oof that is gonna be a rough goal my friend taking my food to bed was a bad idea yeah I could have told you that long before you took it to bed yeah I'm a big proponent of not eating in your bed hell I don't even like doing it at my desk all right I wore shorts to work last night because it was 75 degrees out this is what it looked like outside this morning after my shift there are a lot of places you could live it's a lot like that here in Colorado as well mold killer in my bathroom is itself moldy I hate this flat so much oh my God no way I'm really really tired of rentals being allowed to have mold in them if I tell you there's mold anywhere you better get your ass on fixing it no not in a month tomorrow phone slipped out of my pocket while Mowing and I didn't notice until the music and my airpods stopped oh I wonder why they stopped brother was only able to grab his phone no injuries holy crap what happened did he leave the stove on for a week and a half did he not clean out the lint in his dryer that was such a cool house too is it funnier knowing that these are antidepressants I don't think it makes it any funnier it just makes me more upset got it delivered vertically still laid it eight out of ten well as long as it tastes good and you're fine with it that's great however I would still get my money back this pillar was straight last week this is the first floor of a seven-floor building oh no no no no no no no no no no get the hell out of there now my sister tried making popcorn at work today it didn't go very well oh that's all you need to say man don't ever trust the popcorn button if we're being real though for a quick minute how the hell do you mess up making popcorn so bad that the firefighters have to come out I'll just do my makeup in the car like a stupid idiot oh no I'm so sorry oh get out the hand vac when you realize it's been a little too quiet in the office lately 638 new missed calls wow you're about to get fired for something that's not your fault or at the very least have your pay doctor something I don't know but your job's about to get a lot easier found out my neighbor sleeps with a loaded firearm today corner of my computer desk right behind my monitor whoa dude someone is in big [ __ ] trouble that dude could have killed you he was very close to doing so oh look have a loaded gun nearby you know if you hear a sound you can get out of bed pop it out of a drawer across the room or something like that but if you sleep with it like under your pillow or you could grab it and shoot it maybe you're a [ __ ] Galapagos rock formation Darwin's Arch collapses from erosion one man at least this was a natural occurrence or at least I really hope it was a natural occurrence it said erosion which is natural but you never know it could have been like a Boy Scout Troop leader or something that decided to knock it down to make it safer for kids or some [ __ ] it's happened before went to the gas station last night for five minutes to get beer and came back to this my room is the window to the right I feel insanely lucky right now might go gambling later holy God oh yeah I wouldn't feel insanely lucky I mean I kind of would for a split second but for the most part I'd be scared to go home who knows that car might come back as a phantom and try to finish the job my mom was just finishing cleaning the kitchen and then spilled a bag of chia seeds on the ground I've been there man not with those seeds specifically but dude I've been there my apartment received a shock wave from a missile that hit my neighborhood I hate this planet dude holy crap my younger siblings destroyed my final from high school fine arts class oh that's really nice of them woohoo I bet your teacher was still a dick about it and went F gotta do it again got a smoking deal on this cable oh no they're not supposed to do that I don't know if you know anyone else have to remove their washer agitator because they washed a new box of Staples or is it just me oh you washed a new box of Staples huh okay God dang it are you kidding me back in my day the only thing we did to wet concrete was carve our name in the day to into the side of it and usually they've let us do it because they don't care but that's a whole different story no officer I'm not a drug user I found out that I'm allergic to the adhesive tape my doctor used oh that sucks what's up with the allergy theme today everyone's allergic to everything now the first day of lockdown in my city and my toddler does this oh it's gonna be a long one for you I know this was probably posted a year ago or something like that but you know what I'm sure you made it through just fine look at you champ just labeled recycling all goes in the trash yeah funny how that works right recycling is actually a big load of [ __ ] unless it's aluminum yet that gets recycled all the time everything else they just throw it away drove four hours round trip to see an active volcano today while on vacation oh I see this all too often I don't know why this is such a constant with volcanoes tone slipped out of my pocket while go-karting and became wedged under the cart this is what I found at the end of the lap and quite impressive really I mean right it held up pretty well this Smacker crawled in my shorts and stung my balls hands down the most painful experience of my life oh and it's super tiny too oh hope you're doing all right I've always heard the smaller the more dangerous Birds got on my window while it was open and it got splattered onto my bed God they're getting kind of advanced now aren't they that's a pretty good hit right on target bird a bird crapped in the open mouthpiece of my coffee oh another Bullseye seriously it's actually quite impressive I must say saved four years to buy a BMW three days later this piece of metal bounced on the highway into my headlight destroying it and the module the dealership wants 2 900 to fix it wow that is I'm sorry man that is some serious [ __ ] right there talk about luck my front yard 12 hours ago well I mean at least you up high though right like you're fine up there my ah who exploded on a record breaking heat wave in oregano and that's what you get for encouraging climate change gosh why didn't you just learn to turn it off this is solely on you Steve you're as bad to this earth as an oil fire in the ocean accidentally made a magnifying glass when rain gathered on a crash wrap covering a busted sunroof oh I think and thus the evil villain was born who used the power of laser beams to defeat their enemies got home from work ready to have some blueberries and wine and then the bank broke it is at this point that you realize there is no God there is no one and you must scream my fiance was in charge of getting my back let this forever be photographic evidence where if your partner ever mentioned in the future that they've got your back show them this image remind them why you have trust issues tornado driven murder Branch impales my house directly above my kid's bed hurry up left my one-month-old bike for one night on the street World Trade Center congratulations your bike has evolved backwards I see everyone's Legos for all time and raise you a half chewed ostrich bone at least I bought fun Band-Aids last week okay I'm sorry what could someone try to take a guess at what the hell this is about without looking at the image coming up next here's the image I'm I'm confused did you step on the ostrich bone was it eaten by your dog and then you stepped on it why do you have that you do not need that many Band-Aids you are wasting the Rarity of the beautiful Super Mario Band-Aids Black Cab ran me over dragged my left for a few feet backed away and drove off okay hot so you got dragged by this car wow can you tell us what brand of shoes they are because that is some advertising I'm amazed your foot isn't more disfigured at this point worked with concrete without gloves I didn't know it's corrosive oh God do not I do not want to see any any corroding hands please no Gore today thanks okay I was bandaged all right okay I can handle that what were you doing with that middle finger though that it wasn't affected like the other fingers were you just flipping people off while you're dealing with the concrete yeah suck it in I got concrete oh what's what's my finger doing on the floor there company sent mismatched pieces of my new couch today they don't make the couch anymore oh look it's every single white couple in their mid-40s together but not no no hang on I'm being too harsh uh put a toddler that's just trying to climb in between them but struggling to get to the other side because the other one's not being as attached turned 18 yesterday it now is 12 hours later and here I am in a train to I don't know where after being kicked out for not cleaning enough thanks mum this is obviously a dark and twisted moment in your life but I will say it this is the best thing you could have happened she does not deserve you you freaking you are free Go Achieve your life I look forward to seeing you on wholesome meme slash made me smile one day posting about how much better your life is now that you're free of such a stupid parent got this permanently burnt into my display is it a PP is it a peepee ah it's not a PP well that still sucks I guess but also irony for constantly looking at our slash well that sucks or is it poetry I guess it's both the same thing my airpods battery expanded and the warranty expires today the battery also melted the plastic so it's now impossible to take the individual headphones out oh that is one chunky airpod damn boy them thick presenting the latest upgrade in airpods simply leave out in the sun for 30 minutes and it can turn into the air stone the newest smart device to hurl at your enemies my fiance's family farm after a windstorm last night oh I I don't know how much of that is full damage but that bit at the front there that looks damaged it's moments like these where I'm glad I play a farm simulator and not an actual Farm turned a bit too much while wearing shoes kids call them my chimp feet you're hairy my mom ran over a mattress on the way home and it got caught under the rear driver's side wheel and caught fire whoa oh damn you're talking about the whole car gee I whoa I was expecting maybe a photo of like a mattress that had been run over and like you could see it was all burnt to a crisp but damn oh oh that is not a fun time when you finally win family bingo and your prize is Jeff filt fish what what the hell is just filth fish I'm gonna google this okay jafilt fish is a dish made from a poached mixture of ground de-boned fish such as carp Whitefish or Pike all right it's just minced fish like a bit hypocritical of me to find that disgusting when I enjoy beef mince crying oh the pain in their eyes I've been looking at this photo for the last five minutes I'm just I just oh he's so pained he's in so much pain I've worked with kids a lot okay I'm allowed to laugh at them suffering my Town's Only Burger King burned down yesterday taking flame grilled burgers to the next level a moment of silence for the unfortunate death of an American Hungry Jacks the burgers are now not only better at Hungry Jack's but in heaven as well who came home to the studio like this oh boy look at all that Musical and expensive electrical equipment submerged hey you can't blame mother name teacher they just they saw you on that treadmill they heard you planning to install a pool or Spa at some point and they just wanted to run it down man peas whatever they are went in our Supply Closet looks like we forgot to give these out ain't half a head of broccoli only to discover it was full of bugs no this is why I buy Frozen bags not oh God I could see it in the phone this is why I buy brussels sprouts I know that probably doesn't make a difference because they probably still eat those things too but still my friend decided to try out a new hairdresser oh prepare yourselves oh that is that is a talented fade what do you call this a male Karen uh like Craig Carl I'm gonna go Carl my mother took up a hair cutting course nine years ago oh did you make that guy's hairdo with just little practice she confidently lured my brother in for a haircut oh so was you this is the result it frightens me that there are hairdressers that exist who have this sort of Education I mean look look okay you got you got the hairstyle okay it's just not the right person at all I was a zombie extra in a cable show oh nice they were going for a foaming at the mouth it ended up being took a low to the face honey I don't think you were in a uh a very family oriented zombie movie remember kids even if you use protection you should always get a health checkup afterwards my freezer broke two days ago and I didn't notice so now all of the meat we had in it is bad oh that is a vegan's nice man Jax get out of here we don't need the boy band right now I'll find them friend of mine hid my airpods in a box of chicken nuggets that I proceeded to microwave without opening the box hi I'm Steve Jobs ghost presenting the new I are freaking the upgrade from the airpods we steal your airpods put some squiggly eyes on them and then just throw it in the microwave why because air freak you I bit down on a bite of blueberry pancake I'm sure good try trying to cover up this murder Gavin boys there goes our precious pie uh what how is that are you sure that's a pie that looks more like a pizza but I mean even then how how is that achieved like this goes beyond the one star service this is just this is just shame oh speaking of pizza this one was delivered on its side well at least you know which part to pick to get the best slice no I want the most diabetes days our entire Hotel got seized by police on the first morning of our honeymoon I guess that's what happens when your love and romance for each other is too addicting you're like drugs and they've come to seize you get in the van it wasn't safe word I forgot to say yesterday our neighbors 80 locust tree gave us some Live Edge skylights a great view of the stars and that Rainforest Cafe atmosphere that our living room had just always been missing no injuries uh dog peed the bed life goes on that is a very mature mindset to have despite what image oh yeah okay I'm looking at the image now that I I guess at that point you really can just look at the bright side in a way I mean to be fair it actually kind of does look pretty cool it's like trees branching in I'm not saying that the neighbors should have to compensate for this but I mean it's in a way it's an interesting upgrade my car this morning oh looks like someone had a bit of a spin out I guess you could say they uh scooted away once they did the damage I guess you could say your glass window is broken you know I'll see myself out headed to the airport and halfway there look down links for the Father's Day gift kids the slippers are very comfortable I guess I'm doing some shoe shopping at my destination oh I realize now he forgot to change out of his best slippers don't you dare change them sir everyone must know the hierarchy of dads of which you reside good to see things are still going bad for chimp daddy though you stay strong chip daddy lost my phone at a construction site today found it a little later I'll look safe and sound that's still useful this is a paperweight so I had a sneezing fit while driving yesterday and oh hot diggity damn son that is wow they should add literal hay fever sickness as one of the uh dangers with driving a spider decided that I should be the next Spider-Man and jump to my face Phil hands first to marble flooring from 14 feet ah what a cop at you know what I reckon that spider thought it was the spider from Spider-Man 2 oh it's just like a kid who thinks they can fly to they jump off a building that spider tried it what I'm trying to say is you should sue that spider like you clearly have evidence against him my son teased his sister and she threw a switch controller at my parents 75-inch TV this is why you don't have kids on the bright side this is a great opportunity to educate your children on involuntary repayments buckle up boys and girls you're not getting any Christmas presents for the next 10 years found this today in a park and ride someone is gonna have a bad time when they get back to their car to those who say red make to go faster what you say now waited five years for this Cactus to bloom leaving for a five-day trip I noticed this oh no oh no it's about to blur are you sure you can't just carry it around his carry-on I mean it it doesn't look massive it's doable maybe if you have friends who can plant it now is the time to use them my poor thermometer can't move any closer to the temperatures of Hell life in Las Vegas oh damn it's like as if you guys live in a desert or something uh yeah ordered a new chlorinator for the pool the instructions came on VHS we here at new water like to educate our new customers through the most advanced technology to date broke my ankle wrist and tore my ACL and a tendon in my thumb on my wedding day yeah yeah that's the least you can do just thumbs up I guess now when someone asks if your wedding cost you an arm and a leg you can be quite literal about it walked into the Cairo for minor back pain left in a wheelchair straight to the ER with paralyzing skiatic nerve pain oof I am sorry are you dealt with that sir on the bright side potential future drift King bought some raw honey for the first time at a farmer's market knocked it off the counter getting something else out of the bag sorry I'm a little silent here because I'm just so mad for you it's my birthday and I'm spending it alone cheers to 22. same though same spent a lot of mine alone man sometimes it's wanted though sometimes I genuinely want to spend it alone it's nice and comfy but I get it unknown insect bite well I guess just keep going and the doctors and keep an eye on it for the love of God Mother Nature decided that this BMW should be a convertible uh yeah Mother Nature's got an interesting taste in cars why just break one ankle when you can break both I don't know I'd rather not break either personally but ouch the cat went under my covers to throw up okay well I guess it's time to eat the cat dinner time haven't driven my car since I last got groceries found the missing milk under the sea it rotted for several days oh dude yeah oh you're never getting that smell out never had a sandwich from the market wrapped from the deli like they wrapped meat in the meat department didn't grab the sandwich one this morning [Laughter] [Music] love Dave Aura and Caleb P.S we're drinking the rest dropping a medical injection worth twelve thousand dollars on the carpet and bending the needle oh man also worth twelve thousand dollars is it really worth twelve thousand dollars or is that just what they say it's worth this is important there's an important distinction here current Heat Wave has caused my glass table to explode all over my freshly painted decking oh man what's the purpose of an outdoor table that's clearly not rated for the outdoors went fishing caught two branches in a row went to take a sip of my Arizona except there was a bee in it man what a great trip having to throw out fifty thousand dollars worth of Frozen items at work right having to throw them out yeah I love it here makes total sense yeah cool obviously not being a sarcastic ass for you because you probably feel the same way that I do but just wow mind numbing tempered glass lid shattered giving me Schrodinger's stir fry I wouldn't eat that now about to head to the gym ugh what oh that does suck it's not that bad though just don't buy Beats next time I'm an idiot and my wife won't stop laughing at me I can see why she won't stop laughing at you didn't realize until halfway through eating that these chocolates had legs and our ants oh holy sh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I'm done oh my God don't think that's how an exhaust should look like it's not it's really not though last coat of varnish and the moth decided to do a dive bomb thanks thanks you little freak ordered a grommet coffee mug online okay that would be my prized mug I'm sorry I know what you expected but this is way better than what you were thinking you were gonna get brand new box of nails forgotten outside for four days Jesus that's a little bit pathetic on the nails part also where do you live the rain forest hey my son ran into your car on his bike sorry about the scratch yeah apology totally accepted because that's how this works first I thought it was rice on my garbage can this morning but after a closer look they were moving oh dude food today is just full of really nasty stuff isn't it the glass in my lizard's tank randomly exploded in the middle of a thunderstorm what what is up with the glass and what okay you know what no no what's up with stuff randomly exploding pretty much across the board in today's pickets huh I have about 70 bites on my legs going a steady 10 bytes a night no one in my house knows what's biting me uh I think you might have the worst case of bed bugs in human history it's really time to get a new bed like now you know what no like yesterday take that mattress out there burn it in the backyard no joke guess who ran out of paint uh oh well just go get some more I guess just a little touch-up can man made something special for a guy I was hanging out with Slash seeing for a couple of months just finished it by the time he got cold feet and ghosted sharing here since I won't be giving it to him oh well that just makes me sad the Box said 3 000 pieces a week of quarantine tells me it's 2999 ah of course it is it's another puzzle with one missing piece oh that seems to be so common my uncle rode his motorcycle from Florida to New York just before he got to my house his phone slipped out of his pocket on the highway of course of course the people who have to deal with this need a raise yes they really really do 100 dude my boss's secretary quit this morning after delivering breakfast well I'm still gonna eat him anyway can't scare me off my mom regularly Works 70 hour weeks and tomorrow she has a day off she bought a bottle of rum to relax with tonight and my cat broke it two minutes after she got home well you better be nice and make your cat go and buy your mom a new bottle of rum just got home with me new shoes about to go for a run no you're not I'm sorry but you unfortunately are not drilled into a sprinkler pipe and soaked every apartment from mine fourth floor down well egg on your face dude egg on your face found a living Black Widow in my organic grapes holy sh dude I'd be going back to the grocery store to say hey bro there's a black widow in here and an egg sack left my husband alone for five minutes while painting I'm so mad I'm legitimately mad how do you do that I'm speechless I'm sorry guys stainless steel two weeks old yeah what in the world Ikea come on had a martial arts competition on Friday but I decided to faint at the exit of SeaWorld causing me to break my jaw and have to get 10 plus stitches ow Jesus man I didn't have my period for three months now of all things I got it on my wedding day along with the worst cramps I've ever had my wedding is up in the mountains oh I'm sorry about that dude what in the world had a toothache turned into shingles fun stuff tooth still hurts though oh God when it rains it pours my guy craving pizza but convinced myself to get groceries and make a healthy dinner instead why do I even try oh bro yeah going back to the store with that thing dude my mom ordered a TV delivered by FedEx for me for my birthday we just opened it to turn it on and yep that's FedEx for you straight up that's just FedEx man it's unfortunate hit a bird on my way to work this morning oh god of course you had to be driving a motorcycle a little bit less dramatic if it was a car but still saddening wasn't a middle seat and paid extra money to upgrade to a window seat I'd be getting my Goddamn money back I'd show them this photo and I would be getting that extra cash back ASAP also I wouldn't be able to fly if there were no window there I'm sorry I can't whenever all y'all close your window shutters around me I go into panic mode I couldn't fly like this 400 window replacement to steal a pair of 20 headphones I found at Goodwill nice very very worth it and epic guys very cool bought my first house and it came with a shed turns out the previous owner wired the shed himself and rewired parts of the house call an electrician right now holy [ __ ] do it now before you all die I'm glad I had my feet firmly on the ground while this happened otherwise oh jeez you almost changed your lifestyle entirely my friend two teams of Builders building a bike lane on the right side in Ukraine oh boy yep idiots were looking the wrong direction I guess didn't think I had to assemble the bowl well you didn't get it from Ikea did you because remember how that one works got home from work ready to have some blueberries and wine and then the bag broke whoops oh at least a couple of those blueberries are still good right come on you can eat like two maybe three can't do much for the wine though I'm sorry about that that's a bummer there is now a new building outside of my window goodbye sunlight for the next four to six years oh it's right outside your window Jesus it's practically kissing the building you live in needed a clearer picture for a plant recognition app so I got closer poison ivy oh buddy you better wash that hand fast dude found out what my concrete steps are actually made of oh so not concrete then huh plane crashed in a buddy's backyard holy God it did also your buddy's backyard is freaking huge wow I'm sorry it's beautiful back there plain or not you have mail I accidentally threw your parcel on top of the roof my apologies use maybe a broom to get it down how the hell could you accidentally throw someone's package on the roof I do agree appreciate the suggestion of knocking it down with a broom though thanks a lot my air conditioner stopped working for a few days my house got so hot and humid it sealed my entire Costco sized case of envelopes oh man at least it was from Costco you probably paid what four dollars for all those envelopes I think it's fine also what kind of amateur doesn't store their envelopes in a climate-controlled room oh that's separate from the main house I mean you know what I'm talking about yay ketchup finger time thanks a lot Heinz you bunch of [ __ ] what's the point of putting one of those seals on there if it doesn't work right and by work right I mean peel off you know what whatever remember Action Park their water slide just caught fire I do remember Action Park maybe this is a good thing though I mean if a water slide catches fire maybe it's about time that place gets retired you know what I'm saying losing your glasses while rock climbing are you sure that's not just a a ghost floating up to give them back to you is that where the gluten was yep that's where it usually is right up there how the hell does this happen by the way does anybody know living in Arizona the thermometer is capped out in the shade and it's still spring yeah I'm never gonna visit Arizona well okay how about this I'll visit Arizona in the dead of winter because then at least it's not going to hit 120 degrees fingers crossed on that one though it's just like Bobby Hill said Phoenix Arizona is a monument to man's arrogance on the first day of my trip to Washington DC I got hit by a car sounds a lot like Toby in the office when he went to where did he go it doesn't matter he didn't really enjoy his trip either guess who found a pile of horse crap at the park oh all right guys it's time for a bath how does this even happen well let's take a look oh my God yeah I couldn't tell you I'm curious myself my keys decided I'm not going anywhere today oh uh you have another door to the house right you're gonna have to rip that screen door right off man going to medical school in the United States about to be a hundred and twenty six thousand dollars more on June 25th wow this is [ __ ] pathetic not pathetic that you're going to school to do something that you love and care about pathetic that we make these numbers up it doesn't actually cost this much and if you think it does you're [ __ ] deluded today is my lucky day my friend it doesn't look like that is the case but I do admire the confidence my friends lunch well it's not really your friend's lunch anymore is it also Jesus that's a lot to eat anyway is your friend a bear Arizona problems left my credit card in my car and it melted oh this is why we need to move to contactless then it wouldn't matter warning your computer is too too old to run Minecraft 1.17 plus you'll need to buy a new computer to continue playing the higher versions of Minecraft uh no that's not how this works started my internship today squatted down to get my phone and my pants ripped sorry man I'm just taking that all in do you have to tell your boss you have to go home and get a new pair of pants kids decided to prank Me by hiding a permanent marker along with a set of temporary tattoo ones Peter Griffin will be with me for a while whoops at least you did a pretty good job though Red Robin has pizza now but when you customize the order it defaults to no cheese and no sauce I didn't notice it until I got home from curbside pickup why the hell would it default to that here's some burnt bread with pepperoni on top [ __ ] unbelievable well when you gotta go you gotta go Dad so the roofers went to the wrong home this morning that other person's not gonna be very happy I know what you're thinking but they're getting a new roof not really they got a tiny little segment of new roof and they're probably still going to get a bill for it even though they had no interest in having the work done water resistant to 330 feet only not a millimeter on the shower shelf it's a very strict rule apparently it's probably because of all the steam it's hot in the shower unless you take cold ones which that's all you bud someone at USPS tried to fold my package with a rare record inside a hundred dollars gone and now one less of them in the world guess who's going to be taking them for a ride you know I'm a big fan of the Postal Service personally I've worked with them plenty of times in my past but why do they always do this why the [ __ ] do you guys Bend stuff quit bending [ __ ] thought I was smart ordering a 90 degree cable for my cell phone holder you thought though after eight hours of work my flask slipped out of my hand and shattered just before I could purify my product oh man I'm sorry dude can we get a moment of silence so I had a sneezing fit while driving yesterday and oh oh my god oh and it had to be a beamer too that's gonna hurt my car this morning nice real nice a hit and run is totally fine if they Chuck a goddamn scooter into your rear window that moment when you get home open the bag and realize you're a dumbass I've done something to that effect before we've all been there man you're just on autopilot my shorts ripped while cycling to work I live 10 miles away well at least you fixed them real good so much for Sunday bum day for what what does that mean oh look at that your 10 millimeters never coming back my friend I may or may not have mistook this for toothpaste this morning oh oh no oh yuck this tree hit my house last night I am so so sorry my friend I thought I was having a bad day until I drove by this why is this so freaking common these oh man there are Heights clearly posted on these Bridges always at my Apartments you need a key fob for entry only problem is I forgot my key inside I walked out and let the door shut behind me before realizing he wasn't outside yet now we wait ah brilliant brilliant [ __ ] design decided to go sit on the beach for an hour a few days ago managed to get sun poisoning so badly that my elbow doubled in size sun poisoning huh close because someone [ __ ] on the floor angry face and this is what people get paid 7.25 cents an hour to deal with wife helped me put sunscreen on she did a great job no Collision or vandalism the window just decided it didn't want to be a part of our car anymore oh nice it just opt out and tried to escape ordered wings for lunch banana for scale what uh-uh I'm going and getting my money back right now just trying to wake up is hard sometimes oh God what in the world happened there did you drop the carafe or did it explode either way my condolences my friend some days are just bound to be [ __ ] my house is flooded with sewage I told the landlord about this tiny leak two days ago and the repair guys were supposed to be here this morning looks like you're not paying rent ever again because I know I sure as [ __ ] wouldn't be I'd be taking someone to court brand new roll of wrapping paper wasn't quite big enough to cover the box too late to go out and get more hopefully he won't see oh just pretend there's wrapping paper here it's a big box okay

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,164,012

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, ihadastroke, compilation, wellthatsucks

Id: OKwA3F_uqPk

Length: 50min 16sec (3016 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 21 2022