The Funniest Off-The-Cuff Comebacks in the History of BURNS

yeah because you could never remember where all the countries are so it's always fun to discover a new one no Nicaragua was right next to Costa Rica have you guys ever heard of Nicaragua yeah cuz we schooled in England a lot of people work really really hard for their dreams but it's not meant for everybody that's why you use autotune and I don't I have about 10 kids you have 10 children yes I do it's 21 years old you'll have grandchildren and with how many different women do you have these 10 children how many before what's that mean about four by four of them including your daughter yeah cooking knows when your ears is [ __ ] up you talk with the stupid your hair line is [ __ ] up and one of my ears is done and your skin complexion makes my balls itch you got a crooked nose when he is is [ __ ] up your hairline is [ __ ] up your lip is crooked your eye went down balls darker than mine yeah it's it's bizarre so it's a no no no thank you it looked like the before during and after Weight Watchers lasted how long nine years 180 episodes you gave it up right I did they didn't cancel you you cancel them you're not aware of this no I'm asking you you think I got canceled you under the impression so I've hurt you Jerry I thought that was pretty well documented don't most shows go down a little most people do also do it but yeah no I went off I was the number one show on television Larry okay 75 million viewers last episode one you don't think it's too bad well it's it's a big difference between being canceled and being number one okay I'm sorry I have no more campaigns to run my only agenda I know because I won both them [Applause] can we move to the vote till I see those in favor of moving to the next item on the agenda 16 Tennessee those against 8 so that means then that we then thank the mayor for his attendance because the Assembly members have decided they have no choice to using their advocating their duty to scrutinize me are you saying they don't how they haven't the guts to put questions to me supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies some of your critics would say you know this is a race for mayor we know you were convicted rapist this could hurt his campaign how would you respond to that so I just think that you come according to make that would you really a piece of [ __ ] hey you know what we're doing we're doing live TV you got it got a show that you're doing tonight yeah you know a lot of people you are we're done is raw and it's the real life if the truth be there to see your show just tell us a bit about you know it speaks for itself everyone saw the show is it nerve-racking for you to do something like this there's a more nervous for you to box how does it compare no it's more than that records media is talking to a rap piece of [ __ ] I got marijuana like no [ __ ] Oh more than ever than a rapid interview thank you for thank you for coming what Oh what are you talking about man well I'm out man huh [ __ ] stripper and England skipper Andrew Strauss arrived in London proudly showing off the little urn I'll spend four days at home before flying out for the World Cup and Belinda I just can't understand how something so small can be so impressive well mark you would know about that thank you very much Harry if I was looking to hire a rug I would hire you tomorrow you're so old I had to google The Fresh Prince of bel-air I didn't know what it was I didn't even out of it the only reason that you're saying that because you know I slept with your mother working for Marvel the Superbowl commercial did you get a lot of reaction that Super Bowl commercial what Super Bowl commercial oh you know what I've been my mistake I get what you're you're as crazy as the people on Twitter right I'm not lying that was my fault I'm on to say you know what we don't all look alike I am guilty - I am guilty thought you were Bob Dylan right the entertainment report I know tell you man I came in reporting for this slide you don't know the difference between a launch my mistake my mistake I apologize really my big mistake let's talk about must be a very short line for your job no probably would not be hard to get another person to sit right here let's talk about Robocop would it be fair to call you a native of North Carolina yeah that's fair I don't know it's accurate but I mean is it fair because native kind of sounds you know employs loincloths and river bathing and all right this may surprise you but I grew up wearing a loincloth and river bathing so I can't say native okay so being on the Big Bang Theory how many people not that you aren't a genius but how many people think that you can solve calculus at the drop of a hat oh I actually was trained in calculus for several years yeah I'm a neuroscientist so you didn't mean I have known that I'm full I'm exciting and I'm different all agree with 1/3 you're a poor man's Mike Myers you're so old when you were a kid rainbows were black and white and are you more interesting than you look [Music] it's all in the mind I have the beholder in what do you do I'm a business development manager for a large bank in the Northeast okay tell me if there's anything interesting about your job absolutely not no it's interesting to me but I'm sure that it would probably go right over your head okay why Doris Doris when she missed the question she took up a larger amount of time than necessary you're always very quick are you hard in some things yes and other things I like to take my time you know what I mean [Applause] I've absolutely no idea what you mean somehow I don't doubt that [Applause] [Applause] fifteen thousand people applied in Cleveland and yet the odds of you getting through a million to one you've stated that you believe there could be an infinite number of parallel universes does that mean that there was a universe out there where I am smarter than you so merrily remind me what you do I'm a beauty therapist and she acts a therapist not got round to working on yourself dog yeah you look more like a dog than I do yeah wishing at me that lady give that to the dog yes put a lid on it in case you run [Music] I heard that you have a like a snap card trick that you learned your suck sure yeah brought a card a lot of cards do you know the comedian carrot top yes horrible well you are like the carrot top of interviewers yeah yeah no one it's a good thing right now can I just have you say my name into the camera just the word Romina my name not a word and what's gonna happen to it I just want to know like like what to give it like if we just broke up I probably wouldn't say anything then you're trying to find me in a crowded place okay Romina that's it I would never hear you the thing is I actually didn't want to find you I was actually hoping to stay alone snuck isn't a work Conan and you went to Harvard and you should know that [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: MotleyTV

Views: 28,548,690

Rating: 4.8419847 out of 5

Keywords: rekt, witty, off the cuff, comebacks, funny, burns, burns and comebacks, zingers, chelsea handler nicaragua, mike tyson angry, Anne Robinson owned, shots fired, Tiffany Pollard, Chelsea Handler Nicaragua, Judge Judy angry, Boris Johnson, great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies, Samuel L Jackson Laurence Fishburne, celebrity INTERVIEWs gone wrong, Zach Galifianakis funny interview, Weakest Link Anne Robinson owned, Flava of Love, Conan O'Brien, Jennifer Garner, sneaked snuck

Id: BLB2Mrvh44A

Length: 10min 59sec (659 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 31 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Barreling_Vemment]

"Great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies"

[u/katubug]

Most of those were way more /r/cringe than this sub.

[u/Karmas_burning]

The Seinfeld and Tyson one made me cringe pretty hard.