Kevin Hart ROASTING Talk Show Hosts

you get to walk down the street many people like oh that's Karen hey what's up mmm why me I'm bombarded I'm suffocating yes I'm saying I have no peace of mind people might walk up to you occasionally and they might want to just take a picture with you and say congratulations great work mm-hmm with me they wanted to be mmm my life is harder well Stephen here's what I want you to realize hey you're lying nobody comes up to you okay Stephen a Smith does not have one sale not one there's never been a request for a picture there's never been a request for a date you are snaps your snap finger famous that's the guy why don't you just admit to the public in to America that you got that from listening to me because that's what I've been saying all week well Steve I'm gonna admit is that you need to rest your mustache back that's what I'm going to miss okay that's that's what I'm gonna miss I don't know I don't know what he did I don't know what I want you to grow the rest of that there's too much space in between here that's the first thing [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] people underestimate you when you small corner might look I see look at the way you shook my hand when I came out it's a little disrespectful car look at me looked over me wave you you have an exclusive announcement sighs you have an announcement okay this is actually breaking news breaking breaking news and I chose to do it here despite you know when I come here you guys are really really cool about me doing my thing and it may be because I'm better than you at your jobs I don't know okay the fact that I'm a walking Almanac I ask for respect don't point at me I ask for respect think you know what an almanac means Oh my name is not gonna shoot with a nice time so I'm gonna say something like this I think you mean encyclopedia mm-hmm I'm making I'm no word hmm like elasticized hmm I'm sick of it the both of you you're gonna get this woman respect that she deserves from now on else I will come back I was I let something slide Colin like when you wear quarter boys in your back pockets touch I don't say nothing well you got Stephen uses a lot of the big words I don't really think he knows the definition of the hottest words great points to make him come off as an educated man such as yeah well I've heard Steve use words like despicable he used it wrong a couple of times he was like listen to me skip you have no despicable timing how are you doing I'm good you're a married man no off the market it's all gone ladies you missed a chance [Laughter] she chose wrong back then we talked about you possibly we I asked you actually I said what would make it a day and Shaq said go ahead and say it you said when the MVP and here it is you know that's what this game is about it's about you know being with the fans and you know putting on the show and is not the most stupidest and seven years and then I was like you know what she deserves it because I can't keep just letting this walk around free that's not fair to her like I got it I got it lock this up I'm talking about my body so I proposed that wasn't a joke I was serious where were you last year when the Eagles stunk oh I can find you I was looking for you they went on a few games and here you all speak about the Knicks who speaks up on the team's behalf when your team is losing there's nothing to talk about so there's a sports fan and you got nothing to say you don't say it at all right now guess what my birds are flying that's what we doing soaring so guess what I'm gonna do I'm gonna talk a bleeped Philadelphian is giving you the business on your birthday Stephen a Smeg know it you know the cupcake ruin he boy you know I see your new show will you sit in the hot tub your body's a good you can just walk around without your shirt off talk about bodies I want you not to be the one to bring that get out of here shaped like a bean bag I like where med schools max not afraid of you see that was skips problem skip would get afraid and he would start to hunt your shoulders real weird and then his his stance was just getting unconfident and then he was slouched you beat him down max ain't standing for that you're not gonna beat max down you're a bully with a capital B you come here and you bully people with words that we don't understand help that stuff ain't even in a dictionary that would be him you got that that would be him That's not me I've got nothing on him you're looking at a player their colossal sizes he Colossus ounces in and that makes him a traumatic old does a station what talking about okay hey did signal hasta sighs at one point I appear named and dinosaurs that's the one thing that me and cute kept talking about was like yo the way that you wear your jeans they're like so fitted they're so small like whenever you walk it's like a it's like petite like put together but it's like something's mysterious about it and he was like I don't know how much you mess with him how come you didn't play in a celebrity game this year do you want from me I'm in a Hall of famous celebrity games is over it's over I can't do it anymore I achieve greatness Shaq you know what that feels like I know you guys just stop it right I have one question why why morning after morning do you sit up in your bed watching us talk about nothing could it be because you're addicted to watching us talk about nothing like so many viewers are no no I'm addicted to what are you gonna say wrong next a man that can be wrong and keep the same straight things wrong so much things contradict themselves so many times and look in the camera when it comes how many times [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] listen man you've been on the show several times you've got beat down on several occasions oh we've never lost that's the lie I've never that's one of the things my word of the day fabricate how about how about that 100 v8 is that better you say bloviate we get it from because you didn't know about it until I said first of all you don't do I got it from weird one of the words that you pull out your behind that's what you do okay question do you guys have a problem was you saying these comments I do I'm trying to figure out won't you lower your voice lower your voice you're not talking to her you're gonna give me the respect that I deserve don't talk to me like I'm a man go ahead I have a problem with what he said I'm trying to figure out how in God's name I'm done with you Steve max well clearly Apollo and Dick Cheney take a [ __ ] huh caller want y'all to switch toupees to the debate while you're very athletic for an actor mm-hmm for a comedian I'm gonna stop you right there now I'm done you don't know what I'm seeing you want to know what I'm smelling jealousy mmm jealousy I'm sorry that my body is perfect what do you want me to do I'm sorry that I'm in the most amazing shape that I can possibly be in I'm sorry that I don't sit down and my underwear is flip over that little band clip over like it does you guys that why you wore a onesie to the scent today this is called a sweat suit oh oh it's called a athletic sweat suit wasn't sure because you guys got snap-off suits on it you can grab from the back and do what you want heard you're mad at me sick of it you

Channel: uwho22

Views: 12,855,706

Rating: 4.8375168 out of 5

Keywords: Kevin Hart, kevin hart conan, conan, kevin hart first take, first take, stephen a smith, skip bayless, kevin hart nba, kevin hart 2018, kevin hart what now, kevin hart seriously funny, kevin hart snl, kevin hart night school, kevin hart roast

Id: 23e9_o5rxsA

Length: 11min 3sec (663 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 10 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/rom-ok]

ROASTING

[u/coach111111]

‘Walking almanac’ lol he saying it like he walks around announcing name days and holidays and shit?

[u/iHeisenburger]

i couldn't keep watching, did he roast anyone other than the sports news dude?