The day I objected my best friend's wedding

[Music] [Music] i'm a horrible person so i'm public enemy number one amongst my former best friends family and friends i ruined her wedding entrance this is my confession and why i did what i did backstory best friend forever 30 met an older guy 43 in a bar he came home with her moved in within a few days my so and i met him one month later he proposed that night i tore the 599 blue nile price tag off the ring and he about lost his mind i told him that was trashy to present heroin with the tag on it he later told her it was a 12 000 ring she asked me to ask him to sign a print up which i did and he said he would later he would refuse she inherited some dollar sign bought a house land and has a decent job best friend's fiance proceeds to tell my so and i that he was a millionaire but lost it in the divorce he did m with his ex to try and bring her back from her addiction and that his exes wasn't treating him right that he was a former military contractor overseas but couldn't talk about it due to the mib that he was currently designing parks for the depth of parks and rec etc and proceeds to tell my so how he should treat me all within a couple hours of meeting my best friend was high and drunk that night he provided her with c she hates my so because he took me away from her it's been years so she picked a fight with him and we left granted all of this happened from me to wedding in about nine months within a few weeks he sells his car so he's driving her truck he picks a fight with various friends and she becomes more isolated they drink heavily together and she's getting in trouble at work she and i cannot talk or meet up without him by her side i paid to run a background check he keeps changing his last name takes wives last names he has an active aggravated domestic v restraining order on him granted right before he hooked up with my best friend still active two daughters the oldest doesn't associate with him oh and was married three times prior red flags everywhere i tell her she says that she knows he was married before but she knows everything and it's not like that and he had a hard life excuses excuses i tell her people are coming to me because they see bruises on her have experience with his d self she's isolated horrible stories are circulating about his her behavior later corroborated as true she denies all and says he loves me time passes we cannot talk or meet up because he monitors her goes through her cell phone the rare occasions we have contact he's glued to her and is an a no one has met or even heard if he has any friends no contact with his life fake facebook profiles later her mom is in the hospital and i went to visit turns out my dad was brought by ambulance to hospital without my knowledge so i find out and i'm running between hospital rooms checking on both her mom had a moment i call her no answer i leave messages and texts we finally meet up elsewhere and she brings that idiot who laughed at her mom and said some of the most insensitive i've ever heard while she's in the restroom he spills the shot of tequila i refused from him at me and grabs my arms when my best friend returns he tries to interrupt anything we say strokes her like a pet with hands on throat and top of head tells me how she's losing weight and getting more beautiful i'm phrasing it more nicely than needed it was utterly disgusting and disrespectful especially in light of the situation we are expressing concern over our parents dire health situations i hug her and tell her it was rude he's disrespectful and he needs to stop talking and get away from us she says i know but that's how he is as we part ways from our hug i see the bruises on her arms they are the wrong angle color and placement for fun happy kinky bruises every time i try to talk to her she loves him he loves her she's got this but i'm the one who has folks calling me telling me about the fights the rumors the mind games their concerns that she just won't listen to reason her own family doesn't like the guy but they won't step up to the plate and speak their mind because she does whatever she does he finds out information and blackmails people into silence other women have contacted my best friend and harassed her while playing duck around with him oh did i mention that mr designs parks got fired from his job cutting the grass at the park yeah one lie after another so he's already living off her money so fast forward approximate two weeks ago my best friend hercy's in law my friend and i meet for a ladies luncheon we drink have food a good time i play nice and don't say anything about the groom we decide to go elsewhere and be social oh can't go to our usual place because groom may be there with family okay dieter she gets a call he had some drama sees in law calls me to pick her up from the house as they are fighting i do so two weeks before the wedding he got into some sort of argument because he had contact with another woman my best friend then shows up with him in tow he was his usually whole self and grabbing on me and demanding i like him needless to say this entire day went to hell and i kept my cool even with him being an ass best friend's mom says he hates me because i'm the one person in her life he cannot control and sees through him so a couple days before the wedding i make the long drive to her house to prep the food for the wedding he's all over me tells me he didn't think i'd show i told him i wasn't there for him but for her and i'm a woman of my word he keeps touching me in my face etc i still kept michael and told him repeatedly do not touch me respect my boundaries and personal space my best friend told him repeatedly to leave me alone and be good who the duck has to even tell a grown man this so i butchered a side of beef and my best friend walks up to me as he's walking away from messing with me yet again and i tell her you just saw me butcher this and you know how good i'm with a knife keep him away from me her eyes got huge and he was behind me she ushered him out season lore showed up i made them homemade beef stock stew meat and steaks for personal use plus marinades and we prep the remaining food etc if i was such a d i wouldn't have i continue to play nice gave him advice on his outfit for the wedding because he had the elton john liberty sequined and sat in seventies collar shirt with a scooby-doo freddie non-machine cravat thing happening with a seersucker suit and wicker shoes and it was hideous anyways i say i got a head back it's a long drive but we all decide to go have a drink us girls toast to my best friend's health and happiness he doesn't like that we didn't mention him he's triggered and is grabbing my arm and in my face demanding me to like him he brings up that i background checked him i say yes i did he claims he's never laid hands on her and that he can have his men and black friends hurt me or change his background to a pee really of all the examples you say that gross best friend runs off crying and her fiance goes after her apparently another guy saw him and reported it to the bartender a bartender comes outside and asks if i'm okay we explain that tenny where this guy goes it's a show but we are okay best friend comes back i sit on the outside edge of the table she's in the middle her fiance is in the far side sitting on the seat and her sea's in law is sitting on a table facing us us girls are talking out of nowhere he grabs me by the back of my head from behind my best friend and yanks me backwards i stand up exclaimed did you really and punch him in the face best friend freaks and runs off and they leave season lore and i stay there in shock i drink water i ask the bartender for the security footage but she doesn't have access so we go back to sea's in law's house and just talk till 2am before i head home she confirms it was an unprovoked attack by him out to nowhere next day i text my best friend that he is out of control cannot respect boundaries refuses to take no for an answer and she agrees it was a show he was wrong she'll talk to him etc yeah i didn't hear back on how that went down but she's in law when to pick up food and fiance was there and he continued carrying on about how can he make me like him when she confronted him on attacking me he claimed that i punched him she told him that was a lie he then changed it to how i punched him in the back when they weren't looking and so this is a story he fed to my best friend and she believes it because she doesn't want to own up to what a mistake she's making so i don't hear from her was supposed to spend the night before the wedding i get a text to just show up at noon for wedding set up i don't respond because i'm stunned that she is still marrying this [ __ ] and she cannot even acknowledge what is right in front of her i decide i'm not going to the wedding day of season law calls and texts begging me to show up best friend leaves a brief voicemail to be there this is where i apparently lose my mind i have been on an emotional roller coaster for months worrying about her scared she's going to wind up severely hurt on so many levels physically mentally emotionally financially i did what any insane and physically protective woman would do if my best friend is gonna make the worst choice of her life to date i gotta stop it so i called a mutual friend to drive me i hand made a sign that reed is your best friend i object you deserve better done with love sucks sucks and taped it to the back of my shirt and put a jacket over it at this point i had a vague idea in my head that i would stand to the side and let her eat it and if she went ahead i would have to just go with it it did not go down that way i met up with some other concerned friends who warned me this would either snap her out of it or end our friendship but most likely would end it but they knew that talking to her hadn't gotten through and agreed that if me going to this extreme and being willing to end my most precious friendship would at least make her maybe think then nothing would so i show up and i saw the fear in the groom's eyes in the side room i hugged her dad i hugged her and told her she was the most beautiful bride in the world that i loved her more than anything and i hoped she knew that i hugged her mom and told her i loved her and to not forget that and as i walked into the wedding venue and saw that uh my mind snapped i cannot say that i didn't know what i was doing i took off my jacket and threw it and my purse at my friend the wedding photographer snapped a pic i remember that much all i really remember is it was like an out of body experience because i locked eyes with the groom waiting at the altar and i strutted up there and double flipped him off turned around and continued double flipping him off as he read what was on my back said i object and strolled towards the exit i do remember locking eyes with some of her family who were smiling and nodding and then being grabbed and pulled pushed out the door i vaguely recollect my best friend standing there looking confused and her groom and his friend yelling and pushing me and i spun around so she could read the sign and saying i love you but i object and i don't remember much else except getting to the parking lot and falling into my friend's arms to cry and lose what was left of my sh and then my friends gave me alcohol and with reckless abandon i announced to anyone that would listen that i ruined my best friend's wedding because she was marrying a narcissistic controlling adopter bag and i tried to warn her i just couldn't stop the train wreck that i was engineering chew chew insert fiery explosion here so yes i ruined her wedding i didn't think it through i acted impulsively i was a jerk i didn't consider that i might be causing her hurt and embarrassment all she and folks ignorant of the background see is that i ruined her special day and i sorted it no i did she got married anyways i was selfish despite my surface intentions to save her because i ignored that she was going to do this anyway i pushed her further into his arms and under his control and now despite some folks cheering me on and sharing stories of how it happened to them and they wished they had listened it doesn't help that i have irrevocably lost the one person in the universe i have always been there for i've loved and cared for as my own flesh and i wake in the morning with tears on my face and a hole in the center of my chest but the strange thing is i don't regret it the objection i don't i regret the execution the burat while flipping the bird definitely not my finest moment she made a horrible terrible choice and i pray that she's going to be okay i hope some good comes out of this in that he really does have to step up treat her right and proves me wrong because now all eyes are watching and i'd go on with my life being one of the most hated former friends to ever exist if you were to do something as stupid and reckless as i did besides owning it i do what now she already texted me stating how dare i friendship over etc and all i could text was nothing i say matters and i wish you the best in all things i'm 32 years old and have been with the same company for the past eight years my boss ignored the first message as it came via text in the middle of the night last night my father stated he would be flying into my city at noon and would like to meet with my boss he was planning to just not respond but now he has left three messages with my admin stating that he needs to see my boss urgently my boss is a champion and stated that he does not involve himself in family matters and if he shows up to the office he will not be available to him to meet luckily i work in sales so i'm not in today but i feel like a grounded 12 year old for having to work from home slash cower in my house until this evil passes i'm beside myself for feeling this way i thought i had made so much progress and now this feels like a regression i don't understand what he thinks he might accomplish by trying to meet with my boss get me to let him back in my life he has to know that this kind of stunt would only further enrage me and get me to dig my heels in my position further and be even more adamant about my no contact right anyone else that has had something like this happen what was the end goal for your narc update i did contact the police regarding this matter when he stopped by my house and have taken steps to record all of the communication that i my boss received from him after stopping by my house at 4pm yesterday didn't work because we didn't answer the door and our cars were in the garage so it looked like we weren't home he continued to ring the doorbell for half an hour off and on while we watched tv slash hid in our loft upstairs which is on the back of the house so they couldn't hear us we have security cameras on the house so it was kind of ridiculous to see him walk the span of our driveway four times to keep doing it while this was going on i was initially reluctant to call the police as my husband was home and i felt safe just annoyed slash still embarrassed about him contacting my boss but as it continued to persist i did call the cops they left before the police showed up and parents wrote a half-assed card which was along the lines of we miss you and dh whom they have never met and want to put the past in the past please call us we want to meet face to face along with an orchid in a bag they both also decided to leave voicemails later in the evening which will love bom y we love you we left something for you at your front door call us back they tried to do a drive by around eight but as i stated in the comments below i'm on my ho aboard and alerted our community cop patrols of the situation so one of the officers kindly parked in the car de sac in front of my house for the evening they kept on driving rather than try again and have to talk to the police i stopped by the courthouse today to see if i could take the texts to my boss of mails are received card and video footage to file a restraining order however without knowing where they are staying i was advised it would be pointless because they will not be able to receive it i also suspect they thought i was overreacting a little because nothing appears threatening the voicemails weren't super angry and neither was the card or video recording the only thing that was completely off about the text to my boss other than the fact that they were trying to contact the employer of their grown daughter was that it was sent in the middle of the night even that text wasn't overly aggressive it was along the lines of hello i'm first ben cake's father i have not spoken to my daughter in 10 years and would like to meet with you today to discuss her i will be flying in at noon and will stop by your office at 2pm call me when you get this message timestamp 305 am i instead at the advice of legal counsel opted to file a police report and have a lawyer drafting a cease and desist to send to their home address i did get call from the relative today unrelated to this thanking me for my gift whose wedding they attended earlier in the month and think i might know why this ridiculous badgering is coming from all of a sudden they know i'm no contact and are supportive of this decision at my cousin's wedding they announced that my little sister is engaged i think they want to reconcile in time for her wedding so they can put on a front of the perfect family i i it must have been hard for my mom to watch her cousin's daughter have such a beautiful wedding and the support of their whole family this is a cousin my mom has been low-key competing with four years but that is not going to happen this is our family's gc who right before the no contact stole dollar sign 3k out of my checking account and my parents took her side when i demanded my money back this is just one thing from a long list of things that she has done over the years i was still in school and working full-time back then this was a lot of money to me two years worth of savings i was saving up for a car and she and parents knew this and looking back it was just to try and keep me grounded and unable to leave but according to their card it's time for us to all put the past in the past rolls eyes i don't know how long they are in town for but today i had time sensitive work that i needed to leave the house to get done so i had to go about my business as usual luckily with no incident i was vigilant about checking to see if i was being followed but the coast appeared to be clear unless they followed me from my house they would have no way of knowing my route i avoided the office completely today and i will have another community officer stationed in the cul-de-sac tonight just in case [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 18,637

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit wedding, reddit friend, reddit best friend, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ friend, r/ best friend, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit wedding, askreddit friend, askreddit

Id: rp18yhz_yWc

Length: 20min 38sec (1238 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 11 2020