Cousin brought my ex girlfriend to my wedding

[Music] my cousin and i grew up together and were close in age we were always thick as thieves and trouble when we graduated high school i went to university to follow my father's example and he worked in his father's business to follow in his we didn't see a lot of one another for many years and when we did it was for holidays or brief family events i'm still away studying and my cousin has been working for 11 years has a home and a car while i'm just starting out i'm happy with my choice of career i'm happy with the direction of my life i met someone three years ago in a totally different field and we've been able to make a really nice little life we are debt ridden but we are happy we scrimped and saved and i took some extra shifts to make some money and we had a really nice not too elaborate wedding we had really great food and drinks found a really lovely location and had what i think is the best wedding except for one tiny hitch my cousin decided to pull his greatest prank ever and bring my ex-girlfriend as his plus one my cousin thought it would be funny to leave his own gf out of the wedding ceremony and instead invite katie who is the girl i dated in high school and during my first year of university we were together from ninth grade on katie and i were always together we lost our virginity together we went through all kinds of struggles together but katie didn't want to leave our town i was going to university a few hours away and she just didn't want me to be there it was a constantly source of stress she knew i wanted to be a dentist and was studying constantly but it was not what she wanted she was adding more stress onto an already stressful situation she was in a part-time program that had a lot of flexibility but wouldn't visit didn't like major cities and would get really emotional when i couldn't drop everything because i had a physiology lab it took a toll and eventually i had to break up with her it was brutal she was so upset that it bordered on the obsessive for the next 12 or 13 months i got emails letters gifts texts calls and inquiries from her some were just hey how you doing and others were about how she wanted to die because we weren't together others still were about how she wanted me to die after a year i got an email that must have been 15 or 16 pages long and recounted everything she closed it by saying she'd be here when i was ready but that she was moving on it was nice to have closure when i visit my parents and my now wife's parents as we're from the same area i'd occasionally bump into her she's a cashier at a grocery store so i know which store to avoid i'd see her out and about with her kid now and then but we didn't talk she had no idea what i was up to and all i knew was she had a kid fast forward to wedding invites and my cousin sends back a yes plus one so i figured he'd bring his gf i specifically warned him no pranks no stunts no screwing this up he agreed and said he would be totally cool he pulls me aside on the wedding day and says that he lied and he pulled the greatest stunt he brought katie as his date he's almost giddy i immediately tell my parents who inform my aunt uncle not my cousin's parents a different set of aunt and uncle and brother my aunt uncle and mother find her and then tell my in-laws what to watch for my cousin realizes his little powder keg and hides she was a great guest she stayed quiet cried mostly and at the reception came to give me a gift and letter she was very respectful she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said i miss this cheek she was very teary-eyed and said how she wished it was her but that she was so proud of me called me drive first name and then left my cousin wheeled by and realized how much he ducked up katie left at that moment so she missed 95 of the wedding reception people really dug the party we served fun delicious food and had champagne bourbon lemonade and various sundry non-alcoholic drinks so everyone could enjoy our multi-tiered donut bar was a huge hit after katie left i talked to my wife who was absolutely flaming mad at my cousin she calmed down a pint of bourbon lemonade does that and my cousin left once he realized how mad our family was at him with him gone things were fun and looking back my wife has great memories i still feel bad it's not how she wanted the day to go and i'm not sure how to fix that i feel beyond terrible for katie she bought us a very thoughtful present and wrote a lovely letter updating us on her kid and apologizing for being obsessive when we first broke up and wished us nothing but the best she closed it by saying that she was so proud of me that just made me feel even worse my cousin used her as a prank only to dredge up really bad memories and be invited to a wedding where people were eerie of her she and my cousin have remained friends and i genuinely think she thought she was a guest and not a prank i don't think she came with a lint at all my idiot cousin on the other hand was so beyond cruel i'm not sure what to say to that jacket i feel like saying anything to katie beyond a thank you card is probably not fair but i also don't know if i should talk to her somehow and explain that what my cousin did was cruel and inexcusable maybe she doesn't see it like she was a prank it's been three weeks and i still feel rat with guilt i need advice little backstory here my wife and i have been married 12 years and have two kids she was married before four or five years and had one kid with the ex they divorced because he was in a piece of sh and she got full custody of their kid with him only seeing the little dude maybe once a month if that we met a few years after that i adore my stepson to me he's my kid i've never liked her ex-husband he's been in and out of his kid's life four years now and never has a stable job or place to live we try to be civil and have given him more than enough chances to get his together he doesn't pay child support and we've even loaned him money in the past to help him out yeah it's probably stupid on my part but my stepson loves his dad and my wife and i don't want him to see his father struggling last month he came to us and asked for more money he wasn't working was about to be evicted from his apartment and has ruined all his relationships with family and friends so he had nowhere else to go i told him we can't lend him any more money but we do have a finished basement with a bonus room living room and bathroom that he could use if need be my wife agreed this would be the best situation as he could get a job and save money and also see his kid more since he moved in everything has been a nightmare he got a job but has been calling out almost every day he's not contributing to food which was part of the agreement he just sits on the patio and smokes or sleeps or watches movies with the volume so loud it shakes the house he's also yelled at our other kids for stupid we've told him multiple times his behavior is not okay and it feels like all he's done is take advantage of us he comes to my wife almost every day crying and wanting to talk she's a stay-at-home mom so she's there a lot but lately she's been leaving as soon as the two older kids get on the bus and taking the baby to my mom's house or hanging out with friends to avoid him he's been asking weird questions and making odd statements for example he somehow overheard my wife and i having s one night and commented on it the next day or he'll ask my wife what's wrong with me why doesn't anyone love me why is my life so terrible i told him it's not her responsibility to be his therapist he's also asked her to make him food and do his laundry which i made very clear was not okay to ask of her the last straw was today my wife was home with the baby napping and i had already gone to work she had the bedroom door closed but not locked she woke up to him standing over her asking her to take his temperature because he didn't feel well she freaked out and told him to get out he then kept trying to come back in the bedroom to talk to her and ask her odd questions again she immediately woke the baby up got heard rest and left then called me i can't leave work and won't be home till later but i'm trying to convince myself not to just beat the out of him when i get home i don't know what the duck to do i don't want my stepson to see his father homeless and living in his car but i can't deal with him disrespecting my wife my other children and my home please help me think rationally and not just go off on this dude when i get home edit thanks for all the advice the plan is going to be to contact my attorney tomorrow to see if there are any legal steps i need to take to get him out if not i'm packing up the kids and wife and sending them to my parents until monday i've got the next three days of work and can take more time if needed to sort all this out i've got friends and two brothers who can help move him out if need be i'm just going to eat the financial cost of a rental truck and a month at a cheapo apartment just to get him out to me it's worth it to not have him here anymore this is not my story this was told to me by a woman i knew from work several years ago she's a very sweet nurse nurse graduated from nursing school and decided with her friend to move to one of the cities that was listed as having the most eligible bachelors from some publication she moves and starts dating her future husband future husband's mother is a vip and decides nurse is not good enough for her family the happy couple eventually get engaged and future mother-in-law is having none of it tries for several months to break them up tries to convince nurse to go back where she came from and simultaneously tries to gently convince her precious son that nurse may not be good for him to add some more context to this situation the smell is pretty nasty to nurse but hides it well to other people always making sure she's super fake sweet to everyone when others are around finally wedding plans are set so mill gets desperate she gets nurse alone with a generous offer leave fiance and never come back in exchange for ten thousand dollars note this was almost 30 years ago so i guess it was kind of a shitload of money for most nurses so sick of this woman's and is incredibly insulted however she's intelligent and maintains her composure nurse accepts the offer nurse takes the money does not leave and gets married anyway nobody else knows about this mill cannot say or do anything about it without exposing herself to her family as a horrible person nurse and husband are still happily married their kids are grown husband still has no idea this went down mill has suffered silently for almost 30 years edit two people pointed out thank you that ten thousand dollars thirty years ago would roughly translates to twenty one thousand dollars today confirmed load of money to me a lowly peasant my former best friend we'll call her michelle is a teacher she switched to a different school system three years ago and we naturally became less close than we had previously been before her move we saw one another five to six days out of every week after her move we saw one another a few hours every weekend and only twice during the week always on trivia night and then at dinner midweek we've been friends for 10 years and best friends for the last seven or eight years she spent most holidays with me and my family as she was single and her family live thousands of miles away we were extremely close which is why i was shocked when she told me she'd been having an affair with a teacher at her school for nearly two years i found out over the weekend we met up for brunch saturday morning and when she passed on having mimosas i jokingly asked if she was pregnant michelle burst into tears and told me she was pregnant the father being a co-worker she gave me the entire story which began shortly after she started at the school but left out him being married with several children apparently she's two months along and when she told the father last week he dumped her we discussed her options and she said she thought she wanted to go through with the pregnancy i told her i supported her no matter what she chose well i looked him up when i got home and found out that he's married to woman nearly 20 years younger than him who is also a teacher in their district but at a different school more searching led to me discovering that they have several children the youngest born last month since michelle didn't mention a wife or kids i called to ask if she was aware she began screaming at me telling me it was my fault she was pregnant and how i always do this i had no clue what she was talking about and i was trying to calm her down when she told me i was dead to her and to never contact her again then she hung up on me i texted her to tell her that i care about her and i understand she's upset but that i'll be here for her if she ever needs me she replied with a text that said if i ever contact her again she will seek legal action against me for harassment i haven't contacted her since however since then i've been feeling more and more guilty about the wife of michelle's co-worker this woman has children with a man who could be sleeping with numerous people unprotected and is putting her and their children at risk should i reach out anonymously i have her school email address and could create a fake email to contact her through i know those mls are monitored so i would ask her to contact me from a different email to protect her privacy i've also considered emailing him and telling him that he needs to tell his wife or i will again anonymously i know this isn't my business but at the same time i would want someone to tell me if my husband was cheating what do i do update the x of four years i mentioned above came to my classroom wanting to talk about michelle i knew he would be on campus today but i didn't expect him to want to talk he and i are not friendly he has known for several months who michelle was seeing he's currently seeing one of the other women michelle told about co-worker and asked me if i thought we should tell anyone we plan to talk later tonight and we'll go from there in the end the ex of four years decided he would be the one contacting the co-worker's wife he had much more information than i did given his relationships with both michelle and his current girlfriend another co-worker and friend of michelle's the email was not sent to the wife's school email a personal email was obtained the email did not mention michelle by name but it did include screenshots of texts messages between michelle and co-workers she's been seeing all identifying information except for co-workers number were omitted there was no response to the email michelle contacted me thursday to say happy thanksgiving but offered no apology for her behavior as usual i didn't respond right away because we were traveling slash visiting family i drove over 400 miles on thursday and visited three different family groups when she hadn't received a reply later that afternoon she texted again to tell me how rude i was for not responding to her and how she was going through a difficult time with the pregnancy when i had the chance i replied telling her that i'm done with the relationship because of her terrible attitude and that i wish her well in her pregnancy then i blocked her neither michelle nor the married co-worker were back at work yesterday according to the ex's girlfriend either they were both ill or decided to take a day off and have their pay docked either way i'm longer in contact with michelle and have no desire to continue concerning myself with the situation i feel like the right thing was done and what happens happens this happened just over two months ago and it's become more and more apparent that my fiance hasn't forgiven me for it and i genuinely don't know what else to do to try to fix things the backstory my step-brother 27 and his wife 27 came over to our house to pick up a package they had delivered here and ended up staying over for dinner my fiance immediately noticed his grandfather's watch was missing when we were getting ready for bed that night we both knew it had to be my step-brother who took it at one point my step-brother excused himself to use the bathroom and went upstairs instead of using the downstairs one my step-brother has also been resentful of my fiance in the past for instance he makes comments about how my fiance has been handed everything he has in life by his daddy and knows that this watch is probably the thing my fiance treasures the most so if he was planning to hurt him without getting physical the watch was the best way to do it i called my step brother and asked him if he took it obviously he denied it i tried asking myself and she denied it too eventually after about three days of me trying to get them to admit he took it and asking them to return it my fiance got fed up and threatened to call the police that's when my still confessed my step-brother took the watch and sold it she begged me to convince my fiance not to call the police at this point my fiance is absolutely livid and gave them two choices either my step-brother goes to the shop and gets the watch back or he calls the police my step-brother did try to get the watch back but the idiot only sold it for not even half of its value so couldn't afford to buy it back my fiance ended up going to the shop himself to try and get it back but the owner said he couldn't return it without a police report i ended up convincing him not to report it as my stepmom had just had a major heart attack and i was scared this would hinder her recovery so he ended up having to buy it back himself i offered to pay him back he refused i think he could forgive me if it was just that but the next time my fiance saw my step-brother he was pretty smug and made a snide comment about it they ended up having a physical fight i don't think my fiance has forgiven me for asking him not to file the police report he since started arguing with me a lot more i think we'd had like two disagreements in the five years we'd been together before this we used to spend most of our free time together but now he's always out and it feels like he's avoiding me if i try to make plans with him he tells me he's busy and then hangs out with friends slash coworkers whenever i try to apologize again he makes remarks about how i should be happy he did what i wanted and he doesn't want to keep hearing about it his family aren't so nice to me anymore and i know he's told them what happened he also locked the watch in the safe in his office and made a show of changing the combination i knew the old one i know i shouldn't have gotten involved but i want to fix this what can i do [Music] so [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit family, reddit entitled family, reddit wedding, reddit pregnant, reddit mil, justnomil, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ family, r/ entitled parents, r/ wedding, r/ pregnant, r/ mil, r/ justnomil, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit entitled parents, askreddit pregnant, askreddit wedding, askreddit

Id: 9-MYOmrC6kI

Length: 20min 31sec (1231 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 21 2020