Bridezilla Karen ends up looking like a pauper at her own wedding

i 48 female have known pat 48 female for decades as far as i can remember she was fixated on having five children and a picket fence dream life i slowly cut ties with her in college because she was an opportunist and i didn't trust her she is both manipulative and forceful her idea of cute rubs me the wrong way pat likes to walk like a penguin when she wants to elicit pity and she usually does this when she wants to evoke the underdog narrative i've never seen someone act so despicable and ridiculous at the same time i moved on with my life happily got rid of her for years pat eventually found me on facebook i accepted her friend request out of politeness pat has become the epitome of a permissive mother her five kids do as they please and she never calls them out she tried to force a relationship between me and her daughters and made them call me auntie pat tried to drop them at my house uninvited her phone calls were insistent she tried to monopolize my time and she began to show up at my job i created some boundaries so she tried to find loopholes it was a nightmare my husband and i hosted a party for the community center not the real name new members the community center is actually a very informal initiative in my husband and i mainly serve the homeless population we prefer to help strangers instead of catering to potentially narcissistic acquaintances we don't mind lending a hand but we have encountered truly dishonest choosing beggars there are other services like one of the members who helps women get their wedding and prom dresses for free point the community center location headquarters is actually a farm owned by an elderly couple there is a barn a venue and a very nice green field with an artificial lake and some fowl they charge for the use of their facilities weddings etc but not for community-oriented stuff pat had always been salty at her husband for demanding that she go back to work after baby number three in the meantime he worked three jobs she demanded he get her pregnant to fulfill her dream of having five kids he didn't agree because he was already nearly 45 and felt like he might never be able to retire she got away with bringing new babies into this world anyway her fascination with being pregnant comes from all the attention she gets she had at least one miscarriage in between each kid pat latched onto our group she never missed any of our activities i hated having her in my house but it was an open invitation that included virtually everyone and she was very active as an event organizer i didn't like the way her kids behaved we have a designated area for parties and entertainment but her kids ended up inside my bedroom we ended up having to keep watch of them and enjoyed zero of our own party i called her days later to get my point across regarding their overall behavior but she completely cut me off and began talking about herself and said her kids wanted to come visit again and use our pool i never answered that i didn't want to say no i will not have your bratz over she also called me a summer was approaching specifically to let me know her middle daughter was bored and wanted to spend a week at our home i politely declined citing that me and my husband have to work and cannot entertain guests pat paid no heed her kid called me on the weekend calling me auntie and attempted to coax me by saying mom says you invited me to spend summer with you i quickly clarified and offered an explanation to avoid hurting a kid self-esteem never mind her daughter just hung up on me pat's facebook also showed some red flags some cryptic rants here and there were visible along with friends comments and complaints on how she asked a particular person to watch her kids only for a couple of hours and ended up leaving them all day another of her friends criticized her girls night out because pat had just asked them to be patient and wait until she could pay back some money that she owed them yet she had money to spend on friday night outings i thought those very public comments on private matters were more like a cry of lost patience unpleasant things began to happen like the time she volunteered to wrap the christmas presents for underprivileged kids we all wanted to create a mix of less costly gifts with really nice ones surprisingly some nice and eye-catching toys and games went missing but turned up under her christmas tree courtesy of her mother-in-law's fb posts no one could prove anything but it was hate inducing all the time my daughter called me in tears to pick her up after she attended pat's daughter's birthday cassie my daughter had been ignored all night because she didn't gift her the expensive gaming stuff cassie practically demanded my daughter did ask but i said no we would buy her a very nice and thoughtful present according to her taste so when i went to pick her up my daughter was sitting alone in the living room while cassie and her friend stayed outside stories about pat and her family multiplied the owners at the farm community center decided keep their their gates locked unless they had guests or events because pat got in the habit of driving and whenever she pleased and it was either her kid screaming and disturbing ongoing weddings throwing rocks at the coin the lake or harassing the geese in the yard or how she stiffed another soccer mom with the lunch bill and then pulled the struggling financially card or how other parents hated her because she created unnecessary hostile competition when my daughter turned 13 i allowed her to wear my grandma's ring it's not an expensive piece of jewelry but it's vintage and girls nowadays one look boho my granny gave it to me when i became a teenager so i passed it on to my kid so she could wear it on her birth week it was weird that she became quiet and distracted after that she also didn't want to go to school and my husband and i became suspicious she never opened up and my other kids had no clue we went to her school but her teachers assured us nothing had changed in her environment my husband and i suspected she was being b but our kid gave us no tools to support her my kid is very sunny and very compassionate she has never had any problems with other kids i called her best friend's mom natalie my kids bff told us what was going on cassie pat's eldest and my daughter had become close i knew this and wasn't too thrilled i found the age cassie was 17 gap not exactly inappropriate but i'd rather see my daughter spend time with friends in the same age range cassie is very beautiful and a gifted student she is also very conceited to make the story short she asked my daughter if she could try on the ring and refuse to give it back she later claimed that she lost it but would look for it so my daughter was distraught my daughter kept asking for her ring and as a result cassie shunned her and spread the word that my kid was trying to steal her ring some kids at school took cass's side so now cassie just wore my kids jewelry to school like nothing happened if that doesn't qualify as taunting i don't know what does my guilt comes from not being able to get my daughter to open up and feel safe telling me the truth i talked to her and she burst into tears i was both pained as a mother and furious that some teenage bee was doing this under our noses i went straight to pat's car after school i asked to talk as cassie was about to go in so i grabbed cass's hand and asked to see her jewelry cassie froze and she tried to make a fist so i became relentless cassie yelled mom and pat struggled to get out of the car i slid the ring off cassie has tiny hands and wore the ring on her index finger first patch yelled at me after i confronted her with the engraving on the band my grandma's maiden name she argued it was loaned to her daughter by my kid then she said she bought it i paid no heed i did warn them that i knew cassie had become on a friend to my daughter pat called me to tell me off she said she was trying to raise an assertive young woman and i had just messed that up by being overbearing she never apologized for her thief of a child pat's husband hank is what can be described as a dormant pad wore him down to a knob he had no choice but to obey her to keep the peace she was a bee who actively withdrew affection when he didn't follow her wishes even in public so she got kids number four and number five after a relentless campaign that included leaving him for two months her pregnancies were a nuisance because she expected to be treated like the only lady who has even been pregnant she strolled around in a wheelchair almost immediately after getting pregnant and she would get very sick on weekends so her kids were often sent to friends and family so that she could rest pat systematically be hank she would leave town and take the kids with her poor hank would look distraught drinking on his porch or just looking really lonely this is how she got off the hook and was able to leave her job hank had virtually no voice so he struggled to keep the marriage together everyone liked him but hated her equally hank loved to talk to other people but seemed concerned that pat would be upset over time according to my husband hank began to show signs of depression and mental distress our friend lena runs the wedding prom dress initiative it's not complicated dresses are sourced from donations ebay trunk shows etc unusually beautiful dresses are retained so that more than one bride gets to wear them in some cases a bride will pay 50 bucks but most of the time the dresses are donated to the bride pat was involved in this lena kept her in because they never had any issues and her task was limited to just shipping the dresses out pat decided to renew her vows and her british ella carons and her attitude became the icing on the cake for starters she be another couple into giving up their wedding date at the farm because she needed her renewal to match her exact wedding date they were not impressed with her harassment so they booked another venue as a result the farm owners were p because pat was already costing them money after she had successfully negotiated a cut in their eight because she couldn't afford it but will repay by doing maintenance work around the venue she never made good on her word pat became attached to a particular dress that was already assigned to another bride lena made it clear that she would need to pay for her own dress so pat played it cool and shipped the wrong gun instead she was adamant that it was the right dress despite all the notes on lease agenda the other bride was truly gracious about it she was obviously disappointed but never made a scene what bothered me most is that i picked that dress and bought it for 40 bucks at a garage sale not my money lease money it was a vintage dress ankle length white with lots of lace and a huge bargain again when confronted pat did a cassie and use that this is mind strategy we felt so bad for the other bride that we did our best to get her something nice to wear the other bride was a true fighter she had pulled out of welfare earned her high school diploma and was working to get on her feet by trying to earn a certificate as an acrylic male technician so her award was to have some karen steal her dress pat never admitted to messing up but just by the fact that she claimed it was her dress we knew lena never allowed her in her warehouse again their last phone fight ended with pat bringing up the other bride's past like it mattered and this conversation is over it's my dress and you are mistaken that was weeks before the other bride's wedding pat went all out on her wedding decor she spent way too much she hired a caterer for some food mainly mimosas and appetizers but the wedding invitation included a request for specific dishes for her sunday brunch wedding either she ran out of banquet money or was on a complete mutual mode point i picture the penguin walking upon practically asking everyone to supply her wedding reception grub and i cringe there is nothing wrong with potluck weddings in fact they can be a nice addition to a very cozy and family-oriented wedding reception but don't you need to at least be close to your guests in order to ask for such a thing even i got an invitation i told everyone i wasn't going because i was very uncomfortable being told what to bring and was probably expected to give them a cash gift on top of that some of the old ladies in our group agreed some said they would not decline in advance because she is a bully and they didn't want a confrontation lena called me the night before pat's re-wedding lena was there to close a saturday night bingo and pat was awfully friendly but that's what she does whenever things are going her way lena peeked into the garment bag and saw the exact same dress while pat was caught up supervising the wedding decoration the thing with karen's is that they expect everyone to suck it up or make their dreams come true or they simply underestimate everyone and think we are all fools lena is a very straightforward person with her so simi attitude she told me she would just ruin the dress after all it was hers so she could do whatever she wanted if pat wanted to take legal action and should things get ugly she needed to prove ownership however the dress was the same the marks inside the hem and the tags were the same even the tag numbers that were punched to identify each dress for logistics purposes matched pat had the dress altered with some extra beading and died to a deep cream color but it was obviously the same garment lena and i snuck in before the venue was closed for the night all brides are allowed to stay in a small bedroom for a small charge so that they don't need to drive in on their wedding day honestly the makeshift chapel was gorgeous i don't know how she paid for it but it was full of flowers and presumptuous details i naively brought in some ink to spill on the dress but lena said she wanted something more awful like a nasty surprise ink would be too obvious and if she saw it ahead she may be able to snag another gown from somewhere no the ideal thing was to have her trust the dress was fine so lena locked herself in a bathroom store and completely cut out the back panel she patiently put it back on its hanger and zipped the bag we left through the emergency door with the back of the dress stuffed inside lena's purse i completely hate people who target and steal from anyone they patent her kid calculates to be in a weaker position the wedding was scheduled at 9am pat called me at 7am but i ignored her calls i picked up by 8am both curious and wondering if she suspected anything pad was frantic point she was crying that her dress was missing by half i purposely made her explain being annoyingly dense and continually interrupting like she does and stalling the conversation she asked me if i could lend her my wedding dress i said no sorry she then asked me if i would help her get a dress i was satisfied to remind her that the town's bridal shops were closed on sunday and the others that would open were almost an hour away the farm is already almost one hour away from our town if pat could get a shop to rent a dress she would need to try the dress on and get it steamed even if the dress was ready to wear it would easily take more than two hours round trip she tried to ask me to go pick a dress who would pay for this even if the shop were open and brought her a dress it would add to the cost also these shops open at 10 or 9 30 at earliest by time they got to her it would be time to wrap up the wedding because she needed to clear the venue by 12 o'clock for the next event she broke down and mumbled some stupid stuff i didn't understand so pat hung up on me and called lena instead she asked lena to bring her anything she had available lena and i ended up delivering the most outdated moss-smelling over-sized dressed pat's disappointment was a mix between angry and emotional she also tried to wear her knee-length silk bridle slip as a wedding dress but it was too obvious and it really looked cheap she tried to get her daughter to give her her own dress to wear with an open back zipper due to fitting issues but cassie refused asking if she was supposed to attend the wedding naked she got a point plus cassie is petite the dress needed a petticoat to plump up the skirt which wasn't available so it dragged all over the floor and pat had to keep pulling it up pat walked down the aisle with one hand on her bouquet and another one grabbing her dress the dress looked limp and weird with the arrangements of pins they didn't show that caused the sleeves and neckline to pucker into messy rims she spent the ceremony looking uncomfortable and out of place very few people attended but that was not part of any revenge that was just how people reacted to her entitled attitude the dress looked awful the reception portion of the wedding had all this princely decoration a very nice cake and a bridal zilla with a dress from hell i didn't stay but i was told she was so disappointed she spent her wedding sulking there was no dance no actual speech she had to change into a shirt and leggings because the dress was too uncomfortable everyone talked about how pat put on her flip-flops and walked around aimlessly until she ordered the ushers to start folding up the chairs within one hour of the reception so she practically kicked everyone out and the cake was never cut pad wasn't the same after this she was not as loud and avoided everyone i think she was disappointed that nobody ran to her rescue not even her family who came from out of town her husband finally cracked under all the pressure and sought some help he was slaving away and coming home to clean the house while pat used her kids as an excuse to spend like crazy hank also had to do kid homework because pat never had time or never had patience she also refused to get a part-time job so her kids could attend an after school and get help with their school staff therapy seemed to help hank because the last time pat left with her kids he didn't seem distraught he would be riding his bicycle and could be seen more relaxed while mowing his lawn hank told my husband that he had contemplated suicide after their third kid when pat returned he maintained the routine but was interested in going out by himself and doing things for himself we began to see pat alone all the time hank was seen less and less in the same car and eventually moved in with his parents he filed for divorce on the grounds of emotional cruelty and i don't think he won instead i'm not sure of this because this is what i was told there was some sort of a settlement or agreement that she would not get close or interact with him unless it has to do with the kids i also don't know if pat even actually suspected who slash what happened to her dress she slowly pulled away from the community center and became less active and social gatherings pat also removed me from her fafsa book as well as mostly everyone else from school and the center [Music] so [Music] foreign

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 25,175

Rating: 4.9207315 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit wedding, reddit bridezilla, reddit bride, reddit choosy beggars, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ bridezilla, r/ bride, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit wedding, askreddit bridezilla, askreddit bride, askreddit

Id: ZevxbX4L-dk

Length: 20min 48sec (1248 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 15 2020