THE CROWD WORK SPECIAL | Andrew Schulz | Stand Up Comedy

all right let's do a little intro for the vlog right what's up everybody Schulte here we're in washington DC home and it infom is these suits oh my bad my bad Theo Chappelle droppin a special where ya next week that's dope man so just drop us special oh hey drop it drop as bachelor same days your boat oh yeah you remember like that 50 Kanye yeah remember your crazy [ __ ] you bros we still got tour dates to do man I can't release that material then what am I gonna do on tour do the Freestyle [ __ ] oh he's just do crowd work for a whole special I don't know crowd what what did that [ __ ] you do if the top you don't just do that [ __ ] okay so Chappelle drops especially these beautifully crafted bits and then I same day drive a special where I just wing it I gotta go on say you're gonna do it we'll see let me feel [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] you guys want me to make fun of front row so bad I could tell I get down it's like somebody put it together this is very diverse front row this amazing like even you by yourself seem like too many races I don't you look like half asian half blendin desi for making a murderer you remember the [ __ ] kid is negative matter don't you look like that again did you kill the lady ice cream ice cream but you're not you're not all white are you all like no you got another thing in you you've got Korean you're white did you hear what he just said that was the wildest comeback I ever heard well I go I know you're not all the way you got another thing in you and he goes I'm lucky [Music] this his brain malfunction like like when you burn somebody back and forth you see the burn is directed back at me but he was so excited get roasted he rosin himself - he's like he's like we're both doing it right we're both making fun of me but you might be that [ __ ] from that [ __ ] sucks you're halfway and then the other half is what Korean you might be the dumbest Korean I've ever met other Asians in the audience like let me smoke bomb out of here I'm embarrassed oh I can't be around this [ __ ] holding us down Korean that's a solid agent man that's a solid Asian I like those Koreans man Koreans y'all took that breakdancing [ __ ] from the black throw your [ __ ] snatch that [ __ ] away real quick right you guys are good you guys are real good do all them spins is [ __ ] alright black people see how fast you can spin if your dicks weren't weighing you down all that oh this whole time Blake we were doing helicopters a woman get off the ground because that dick was just rocking you on the concrete like an anchor these Asians start spinning just lift them up in the air like they are dragons see whoa she passes here that was a full snort er to women y'all gotta figure that [ __ ] out man only women snort when they left women really got no consultant air in their body no so you're like [ __ ] a girl and you pull out it's like they go embarrasses if they totally lose their legs like a stop at the legs what is the the Prussia just makes more come out don't be we love that [ __ ] let's be back [Applause] Ammar in our minds that's the [ __ ] given up so much thick last thing you wanna do is pull out a [ __ ] in the [ __ ] just look to you like that's it that's all you got I said I'm just gonna enter a little bit huh what is that a birthday candle no I need you to go the whole way crazy ass [ __ ] DC you gonna snort the whole time what's happen in your brain right like I never understand that like that means you're ignoring your brain because your brain is like Rebecca you need to breathe what you say I don't give a [ __ ] I really thought that was your name I just thought you were white enough to be named Rebecca listen you're Rebecca that's Jamal that's my cheese and that's Brendan desi I don't know exactly what your name is this is what it is back to your bereavement because this is a real issue because what happens is you're laughing and then your brain starts going eh hey Rebecca you should take a breath because that's necessary for life so you should probably breathe and you're just like your brains like knots it you need to breathe like you need a [ __ ] Brit I [ __ ] that's what you get yes that's what you did you want to look stupid in front of everybody you gonna look stupid but everybody field truck sucks that's what happens right Thank You Rosie I don't even know if you're Indian I assume you're Indian all right what time Indian Punjabi are you sick sick that's what's up [ __ ] with six man those who do wear the turban is [ __ ] and they got that bracelet that little silver bracelet that's a badass bracelet now for real cuz back in the day that used to be a sheath they would protect them from swords because the six would a warrior class of people in India and then over the years you know the meaning has changed now is used to rests on a steering wheel of uber but [Applause] but they got that bracelet locking their steering wheel they never trash it though never crash you let vishnu take the wheel doc now that's him doing it that's handy crazy crazy you okay got your arms behind it you can you kid [ __ ] shading the whole shoot with her arms behind so you on your way to Epstein solid I'm just kidding you too old for that look [ __ ] scary time don't you think miss that's a powerful blazer right there I'm not [ __ ] with you white lady with a blazer so you got opinions bro I don't [Music] how many times today did you say toxic you said that [ __ ] more than a Britney Spears concert would you think about this whole epstein situation blazer I know he had a not a breeding ranch he had like a like a sex dungeon on an island yeah that's crazy no now horses on the island there was a lot of reverse cowgirl [Applause] okay so for those of y'all gonna know Jeffrey Epstein right he was this like creep pedophile [ __ ] and he had a island in the Bahamas right where he would take girls they were underage and create quite possibly the wildest episodes of naked and afraid then you ever seen I mean it was crazy out there bro sexual slavery sexual slavery I know I know it seems too soon I know it seems too soon I know you have to understand you might not be familiar with my work miss but when everybody in the world feels one way about something it's kind of my job to be like but when you think about it [Applause] that being said guys I have to admit I've had a very troubling week because we're dealing with a very serious situation here you know trying to find light in a darkness I mean I had a very tough week obviously not as tough is Epstein but I feel like it's right below that right it's like how do we make sexual slavery funny it's not a funny thing but when you think you gotta admit by far the best form of slavery right I mean if you had to pick right if there is a wheel with all the slavery's on it and you spun that wheel you'd be like suck dick dick no no sent me to the island off the field [Music] it's crazy though because it reminds me of that story in Cleveland do you guys remember when those girls were kidnapped in Cleveland and put in that sex dungeon and I remember thinking the most fucked-up part of that whole story was that when they freed those girls finally after all those years they were in Cleveland right they walked out that dungeon-like [ __ ] this [ __ ] I'm going back down we have snacks back yeah Jesus you say wait do you just need to bring him into this for some reason or you need what was that about that was like a Christian Tourette's I gotta know what I'm dealing with for the rest of the show it's nothing that gonna lie I could use a few god bless yous absolutely use forgiveness but did you say Jesus cuz you were like triggered by the conversation [Music] I swear to God I thought this [ __ ] had a speech impediment right I thought she was saying pleases not Jesus but that's your sexual slavery snack of choice let me tell you the last thing I want on my dick after a [ __ ] I paid four dollars for this mix-up goldfish on Monday these girls are crazy flagrant but this beautiful black couples up front do you even know them are you girls single now you are but you're not but the [ __ ] does this mean now this is a hot girl summer huh so [ __ ] is this that's the worse answer right you got herpes what's herpes I might have a heart I think I look at avoid it just come in an angle you avoiding it put your thumb on it you're not gonna get it he was pushing thumb on it [Applause] [Applause] yeah [ __ ] a girl you see one her ingrown hairs you're like oh [ __ ] the [ __ ] is that then you realize you still be pumping money on her [ __ ] yes we both got this so you're kinda in a relationship what does that mean what do you say you're not gonna explain to the crowd the [ __ ] you are you brought it up with this [ __ ] right here I was just trying to get this city boy some [ __ ] let me tell you something a fateful black man does not want to deal with it's a trifling ass black woman new faithful for about a month and already already they're not dealing with this cheating [ __ ] how could chew Shaniqua how what [ __ ] you broke my heart so how is it this heat this is what he described it is this too so he moved he moved where if you say he's in the army I'll kick you in your head right now he moved to Iraq so what am I supposed to do what am I supposed to do who's taking care of my needs while you taking care of the country's needs he moved to New York and you're still in DC and you can't be faithful what what is who say this this implies a lot this right here you hit it with a Michael J Fox - a box look that he's always doing salsa we cook it out so why don't you guys just break up you're trying to you kind of figure it out are you okay if he has sex with lhasa women you wouldn't want to know but you're you're not okay I hope have you have you had sex with anybody else has he [Applause] you wouldn't lie to me would you she said on sheezus you would enough she has been honest though so I kind of believe her I was gonna try to hook you up with the guy across from you seems like a nice man [ __ ] nobody asked you for your [ __ ] ass complimentary sir [Applause] I have a live-in girlfriend I could oh so roommate [ __ ] that's not a girlfriend huh what happened to this world man what about you bro you single damn right [Applause] you like black guys now no one ever asked black women are not funny if it's an Asian girls like you with the black guys like yes the tree allows not like or light you know I mean we're about black guys who like European sports you're not down with that soccer [ __ ] huh you like basketball you like a little bit taller guys you play more this takes off his Jersey there's another Jersey let me roll the sleeves up it's almost better how tall are you bro five nine that's a rough girls are a little prejudiced they're presidents now girls are very prejudiced when it comes to height how tall are you you're 5/8 so he's taller that's all that matters you're cool with that right guys guys I handle this know about that why you hate it bro we got heat over there and then we're room for the fellas this guy's five nine okay he's into soccer also into basketball you're Nigerian are you was I supposed to know that I mean if I guess that [ __ ] that would have been pretty racist well let's be honest I just looked at the dark skinned black guy after a car like that it's pretty [ __ ] up so I just let it go who knows Atlanta that's what I thought guys I'm just kidding he doesn't look gay he's friend on the other hand [Applause] I've never heard anything like that in my life well I have a live-in girlfriend the [ __ ] is a live-in girlfriend it's just a girlfriend that's all it is how long y'all been living together two years and you haven't asked you know taking it slow how old are you 27 how old is she 26 she put any pressure on you to get married you just chilling is that her right there no pressure whatsoever she white she's black she's black Chinese you know you need a balance that I love it because black people don't live that long but Asians peace let [ __ ] live forever but they not going nowhere black Chinese in Jamaican why you said two black things no sense at all I'm white and Scottish it's a confusing this guy bro he's confusing a little bit right I know he is that's funny right you guys are laughing at the same [ __ ] so cute you guys got so much in common you know they're crazy have you heard of Nigeria your Nigerian to [Applause] Wow oh my god they freed y'all school girls were taken bro now are you what is it Ebola truck there's like two main tribes in Nigeria Yoruba and then the other one is what's it Hausa Yoruba and house which one are you what your Oh Bob which one of you sound like you're a boob that's what I said I see a love connection right here so we get a bone to put in there those guys they get married I realize we can only do this here anywhere else in the world this is so [ __ ] up truck with DC what's up baby how you doing man I'm chillin I can't see but were you from West Virginia baby that's what's up how's cousin [ __ ] how do they say y'all [ __ ] your cousins cuz y'all [ __ ] them that's wrong man that they say that you know what I mean I really feel he's [ __ ] up because like if I was if I was from West Virginia right I'm not gonna [ __ ] my cousin right she got no teeth I'm gonna get hit you know hey Meredith won't you bring that meth mouth over here huh [Laughter] brother teases balls lick you know I went to West Virginia I filmed a movie out there cuz there's a part of West Virginia it's kind of close to Pittsburgh right it's where that college is University of West Virginia Morgantown is outside of Morgantown someone caught a me-too and Morgan's happened she's going through it I just said Morgantown she was like oh why did I agree to beer pong did you go to school there miss wait uh who am I talking to you are you Asian I can't see that well but neither can you with your eggs this is the puzzle of the Gentile I didn't mean that but are you Asian because I can't tell Latino what are you you're Latino are you sure about this latina right listen you could decide what you are these days you right man I didn't know trainees made it south of the border but build those balls y'all caught that a little bit late just like most of the dude she hooks up with we send you our many comfort so much you come back with boss and ease you meant to say like Tina because you're a girl with a vagina right yeah you don't got an answer for her that's even more suspicious I gotta tell you the dude next to you is feeling one type of way right now you know I'm an Asian guy this guy's [ __ ] awesome I love this I just [ __ ] it the second I walked on stage I need you every show dude he's just got a good face he's got a good is that your girlfriend is that you guys I was your ex your ex-wife you bought these tickets before the divorce we are ready to unpack some goods right now hold on but you guys are cordial what's going on you just give kids or anything no and that's why you guys broke up Wow you couldn't get her pregnant as potent as Asian sperm is you couldn't knock that up right that dude Asian people be making babies bro you don't want any kids miss why don't you want kids giving you say that now stop it hold on hold on one second you really think this Mexican [ __ ] don't want it she's been breastfeeding her pet Chihuahua for the last three months I just want to practice I just want to practice come here to Loula suck on this nipple Sawalha you're a mom and you're saying you don't work his she got too excited she didn't mean [ __ ] you she meant [ __ ] anybody that tells you otherwise if it's not for you it's not for you I never met a Mexican too hated their kids use you you love your kids at least your son say what I try to do that every time I say you must not know my bowel movements lady you don't get a hemorrhoid from [ __ ] quick [Applause] but hold on most confusing Mexican ever you know that's how you you're not Mexican what kind are you you're Colombian you know I'll [ __ ] you in here you flew you swam [ __ ] out of here yeah swim nowhere you hate swimming that's why you won't let any sperm do it inside you make me a [ __ ] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: The Andrew Schulz

Views: 5,474,797

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, comedy club, near me, jokes, provocative, raunchy, irreverent, dave chappelle, sticks and stones, netflix, the crowd work special, youtube, youtube comic, youtube comedian, unfiltered, unapologetic, uncensored, unsafe, unscripted, alexxmedia, brilliant idiots, flagrant 2

Id: nS_6c4PyJvg

Length: 35min 2sec (2102 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 26 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/KhemikalAli]

Coming for that belt

[u/Albyyy]

Dude is insanely quick witted. I wished he spent more time with the divorced/split? couple at the end. Super bizarre situation.

[u/lordgaga_69]

its not so good ill be talking about it 10 years from now, but it is a perfect display of his talent and the feeling of being at a show. schulz is a force for sure.

[u/balonie_sandwich]

Such a good idea for a special... he killed it. I’d like to see Joey Diaz do something similar

[u/shiwankhan]

He's no Todd Barry.

[u/RollJetDip]

Wild to drop a special same day as Chapelle

[u/DrEpoch]

The crowd switching in the middle of what seems like 1 set was very distracting

[u/LifeBuilder]

Good comedian. Better in small doses.

[u/TanikaTubman]

Ya know, I really resisted to give this man his due at first because I felt that he might just be the next shock comic. Which I can’t get behind. But he’s way more clever than that. Razor sharp and pumping out seriously fresh material. I’m in.