The Crazy DOCTOR Stories Of r/AskReddit (1h compilation)

redditors in healthcare what is something you never thought you would have to tell another grown but human number i cannot tell the race of your baby on ultrasound you'll have to wait until birth to have an awkward conversation with one of your boyfriend's pretty frequently have to explain to patients that they can't have metal in on their bodies during an MRI even if the jewelry whatever is on a different part of their body than what is being imaged but I'm only getting an MRI of my foot why do I have to take my earrings out because the magnet affects the entire room and it will r.i.p your earrings out and throw them around the room also people who have pacemakers who are peed off when we don't let em have an MRI because they think it won't be any big deal sorry I know you really want the best possible imaging for your back pain but we really don't want to kill you to get it really doctors need to be screening their patients for things like that before shed Yuling them for an MRI but you'd be shocked how much it happens I know you are trying to help but you don't do CPR on someone who is actively telling you to stop between compressions shut up I'm trying to save your life why showering regularly is important I am a home health physical therapist it wasn't till I started using ridded that I discovered just how many people don't realize you have to wash your but the water trucking down during the shower isn't enough paramedic here I had a PT once who was complaining of being unable to sleep he's telling me all these different things he's been trying in order to sleep you know basic things like counting backwards counting sheep melatonin nyquil benadryl is quill warm milk alcohol weed and em this has been going on for about two weeks wait a minute M so I proceeded to ask how long they've been on him I started like two weeks ago when my gf showed me at this point I thought this 47 year old man would catch on mid nope not even a flicker of a light bulb so I say to him you realize M can cause insomnia it was as though I removed the bottle of stupid juice he was drinking and open up a can of acne knowledge because he responded oh my god that makes so much sense cause I was even smoking em to try and sleep here this productive member of society went straight to the waiting room yes you smoking in your house is likely making your kids asthma worse my mother-in-law went off on me for giving my twelve-year-old brother-in-law ice cream after dark but he has asthma you'll give him an attack cup to 5 minutes later we're all in the living room and two people are smoking yes it's the ice cream don't hide bottles of 5-hour energy in your bag my PT came in with a complaint of the journal foreign body doc goes in to do the pelvic exam pulls out an opened sealed bottle of 5-hour energy accuser explanation of hiding it from her spouse because he doesn't like for her to drink energy drinks then she asks for it back so she can drink it I t's not a pocket don't douche with bleach patient had mixed bleach fabric softener Dawn dish soap vinegar and some water just in case and burned the bejesus out of herself after having a baby three weeks prior cause she was convinced people could smell her she douched with it multiple times and came in when the burning toned down sent off to gin ecological surgeon and never seen again intercourse makes babies okay so maybe not as succinct you would be shocked at the number of calls related to abdominal pain turn out to be pregnancy even after asking the patient if there is any chance they are pregnant and they answer number folder man terminally ill New Year's Eve presented to the year in the company of an escort he had a finishing nail in his erect dong he was into Peniel sounding he says well there was nothing else Lane round and I'm so freaked up and can't feel a thing indeed he was freaked up cook alcohol and ma little grandson hydrocodone poor dude just wanted one last Rhaegar I told him would is just a euphemism man don't shove sharp things up your pee-hole he took it in stride he was in the hospital for two days the escort basically stayed with him the end haier time come to find out she was only one of the three escorts he had paid she wasn't even the one who shoved the nail up there I thought it odd that she hung around until he told me how much he had paid them turns out the other two were hanging out at his house waiting for his return I visited him before he was discharged dude pop some ex right in front me and says just getting a head start no more sharp crap I promise doc I works in hospital administration for nearly two years while working on something I decided to take a break and go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and not look at number while there a woman was on the phone with someone and was pretty openly talking about how she kept drinking the night before surgeries to calm her nerves and how she thought it was ridiculous that the doctors couldn't wouldn't just pump her stomach survey could get the surgery started now I don't know all of the details on what she was getting done nor was I there for her presume tirade on our doctors as she was prepped for whatever it is she needed done but I am grateful I wasn't she continued this conversation for probably a minute with her friend completely oblivious to how ridiculous she sounded don't lick your contact lenses to clean them seriously I work in health information management currently I get to explain to parents that even though they are biological I still can't share information about your adult kid about a half dozen times a day nurse here I have to explain daily to patients that they can't eat before an operation they're always saying things like that if I ate and had an accident wouldn't they operate on me I have to explain that in case of life-and-death situations the doctor takes some risks but why risk during an routine operation I worked in obstetrics for many years I was taking care of a woman in her late 20s definitely not a teen mom married with a job she got to 10 centimeters so I did my usual speech about how to push effectively she nods and pushes when I tell her and she did great really moved the baby down I'm excited but I noticed she's whispering to her husband he looks at me and says so why do you want her to do that I was a bit taken aback and very slowly lamed that she had to that to get the baby out she asked if I was kidding at this point I feel like I'm the butt of a practical joke but he didn't stop he kept asking if there wasn't a better way to do it and muttering that I was being ridiculous she continued to push and thankfully didn't take long because she kept rolling her eyes at me I was thrilled to hand this lovely couple off to the doctor they looked slightly more convinced when he told her to do exactly what I had told her to do and then a baby magically appeared if she'd ended up in a c-section I'm sure she'd have been convinced I had done it all to torture her how does a woman make it into adulthood in normal society without knowing you have to push a baby out and then there was the time a woman got mad when I told her there was absolutely no way we could do her seseri in laparoscopically literally every show movie that depicts women giving birth has this exchange a few minutes off nurse push push pregnant lady I can't push anymore nurse boyfriend whoever yes you can one more push baby wah-wah no your teenage daughters cannot share a single prescription for birth control pills you need to wash your hands don't flick your wife's colas Tallyho it's been years since I learned of a new fairy Sh so thank you I took care of a paraplegic as a home health RN she was young and she was attractive she lived with her boyfriend and kept getting you teased this isn't uncommon she had a catheter and it's something that can be very hard for this population well this patient was talking to me about her intimate life and told me her boyfriend liked anal she has no feeling below the waist then it hit me I asked if he's going from anal to vaginal she said she wasn't sure so I went and asked him I had to tell them both that is probably what is causing her you tease they can't go from anal to vagina so that's what I charted patient education was that day I had to call her urologist and primary care to let them know we probably found the issue we all tried to be professional but there was lots of awkward laughing usually goes along with after a car accident and their kids weren't in car seats seatbelts how their kids need to be in frickin car seats but it's summer so a more seasonal example is the following me so what's the problem today they might don't know what's going on I can't breath I'm having a seizure mahom has this ever happened before tá usually when I smoked crystal em me did you smoke crystal em today ta like 30 minutes ago why me patient had been referred to my pharmacy by his physician foreign OTC enema the guy was not the sharpest tack and apparently either his physician did not explain it well of a guy didn't listen but our conversation went like this PT so i drink down this whole bottle and then i'll have to crap me no sir this is an enema it is used rectally PT confused so what's that mean I don't have to drink the whole thing me no sir you'll lie on your side and insert the applicator tip of the bottle into your rectum and squeeze the contents until you bowel you'll then remain lying on your side and hold the enema in until you feel the urge to have a bowel movement PT you telling me I got to stick it up my butt me yes sir this is an enema and it is used rectally there are detailed instructions and diagrams in the box PT Frick you and he stormed off that was the last I saw of him not sure if he thought I was messing with him or what but I hope he eventually got to crap well conversely when I got the prep stuff for my column Skippy the pharmacist made it a point to tell me several times that it was an oral medication and not a suppository I can only imagine what precipitated that one worked in an optical practice in the UK man comes in complaining of bad vision his a stigmatism has increased by like three diopters that's a Frick led and definitely shouldn't happen optician retested using different kit same result told him to come back in a week and we will retest it this time we're looking at four diopters they freak out recheck again another optician checks it same result the run through health smoking drinking medicine nothing out of the ordinary the guy looks stressed as crap put his head in his hands and put his thumbs against the side of his eyes the optician asks if he does that a lot apparently whenever he's stress he pushes the sides of his eyes he's done it so much that he has physically changed the front of his eyeball and ruined his vision we told him to stop doing that never thought we'd have to tell another human being to not squeeze their own eyeballs also had to tell a kid to not look at laser pointers but he was just dumb as crap I don't know how much pressure is required to create this problem but now I am paranoid about rubbing my eyes old friend of mine is a nurse practitioner she told me she once saw a patient Mayo complaining of severe rectal itching and general pain she is a very smart people person she can read people very well she got right to the point and asked him about his daily hygiene routine she had a hunch based off his presentation that he was a man's man ain't no gay stuff happening here long story short when showering he never cleaned his butt ever he told her that it was gay to touch his anus she had to explain to him that the severe rash and itching he had been dealing with for apparently years was a direct result of his perceived homo acts he instructed him to go home take a proper shower and apply witch hazel for a few days amazing that a grown man thinks this way I'm amazed by the logic that it's gay to wash your crack but somehow not to touch your own dong what an appropriate reason to dial nine-one-one private ambulance services know it's not okay to call 9-1-1 because your boyfriend won't take his jacket off and no calling us directly private ambulance isn't appropriate either a lady in my building called 9-1-1 because her son had nasal congestion WTF no belly button lint is not a reason to go to the emergency room via ambulance you're 22 wash your dong that you need to take the packaging off the suppository before you insert it which in retrospect is why they were making his piles worse when I worked at CVS it was our policy to change insert til unwrap and insert on all pre-generated suppository instructions me do you have any medical problems PT nope me do you take any medications PT yes I take metformin levothyroxine coumadin meto prolong Silas etc for me so you are diabetic have thyroid issues take a nolle blood thinner at high blood pressure etc question mark PT well no not since I started taking my meds I had to tell a patient that food cooked in restaurants does in fact have salt sodium he was under the impression that they just didn't idk I was like no dude that's why their food tastes good me did you miss a dose of insert medicine name here PT no I take it every day me how many times did you not take previously named medicine in the past week PT 3 and I skipped this morning too this happens probably once a week the amount of people who skip their diabetes or hypertension meds because they don't feel hypoglycemic or hypertensive is mind boggling the three that come to mind for me are one trying to explain to a patient why it probably wasn't a good idea to eat a container or cottage cheese that had been sitting out on the counter all night to the entire family of a lady with a pacemaker they kept insisting that she did not have a history of heart problems they were convinced that because the pacemaker helped her that it meant she no longer had any kind of heart problem three family with a mom that was 650 pounds and if they wanted to move her anywhere they would have to call the fire department they were always apologetic and such and said they just didn't know why she was so heavy in that she's tried everything to lose weight but all around her bed is nothing but Butterfinger Babe Ruth wheeze cup packages fast food bags I'm like she can't walk on her own bring her a salad all this junk and no movement is why she's so heavy my mom is a nurse and had to teach these parents how to read a clock their baby wasn't eating enough because they didn't know when it's time to feed him it's not okay to crap the bed just because you don't want to walk ten feet to the bathroom said to a fully coherent and independent patient that decided she would rather just have the staff clean her up and change the sheets wife had a baby the process involved about 100 professionals telling never to shake my baby of course I thought everyone knows that wife's water breaks we are in the hospital and she's getting checked in I'm there were two other soon-to-be father's a nurse comes by and almost casually starts giving us a basic rundown of what not to do stuff I've heard a hundred times we get to never shake your baby and one guy looks confused of the wildering conversation takes place where this man insists he's never heard of that must be cultural differences in sister everyone where he came from was shaken and eventually is led away to talk to the doctor I never saw him again but I'm still scared for that baby he does not come out the bag he is stored in the balls we all know this I took on the nurse role at a camp once and had to tell a bunch of kids not to put hand sanitizer in their urethras to a girl once that she needed the morning-after pill because she thought that girls only have babies if they think really hard to have one that's some wishful thinking right there a couple instances come to mind one don't have intercourse six hours after you delivered a baby two coffee creamer is not the same as infant formula please do not feed your day-old newborn international delight three probiotics are different from antibiotics probiotics do not cure syphilis I am a clinical lab scientist and I frequently have to tell patients that I cannot accept their stool samples in Tupperware mugs food to-go boxes etc the worst is when they take the crap filled mug back home with them cause they don't want to lose perfectly good mug yes you are pregnant I'm holding a head with my hand as she's screaming it's not possible mum saying the same thing as she called her mum guess they found out it was possible had a partner try to threaten to take our patient out of the hospital because she was in increasing pain and we were and stopping fixing it note she was in labor and minutes away from delivering had to explain that leaving now would not help her pain as it's normal to increase as labor progresses and by leaving we would have to remove the epidural and that would definitely make pain worse note we had zero plans of actually doing any of this but still had to point out how stupid his logic was there was no way we would let someone who's about to deliver to walk out like close enough we checked between legs to make sure no surprise baby on the bed level close to delivering luckily her mom showed up a few minutes later and very quickly put him in his place he tried to brag to her about how he was threatening to leave going for tough guy macho type persona and she told him to either shut up or wait down in Lobby the number of guys I've spoken to who genuinely think that a woman in labor goes immediately to hospital where they're completely and instantly stopped all her pain and get the baby out within a few minutes is disturbing nurse here the number of people I've had to tell to not drink or to stop drinking their urine is surprising is more about medication antibiotics only work against bacteria they are not some kind of Wonder potion that cures anything and they should not always be given please please stick to your prescription the doctor gives you even if you already feel better don't just stop unless the doctor says you can start a lot of medication needs to be taken according to the prescription in order for it to be effective because you build up the doses to an effective level stopping or not sticking to it really decreases effectivity tell us what drugs and alcohol you're on we aren't gonna tell the cops we aren't gonna lecture you but it might change the anesthesia I give you some stuff I give you might kill you if you drink a 30-pack a day tell me ejaculating blood happens to most people at least once in their lives and in 99% of cases it's resolves without taking any action within a week it doesn't even warrant a doctor visit being blood for both sexes is a serious medical emergency and you should immediately go to the air people think it's the other way around how to eat healthy just because you're skinny doesn't mean you're healthy especially the teenagers who I take care of sometimes I will ask them what's a healthy food your doctor wants you to eat rarely do I get a right answer I feel like the Internet as so many fad diets and family members rarely cook so families don't know basic nutrition facts if you could keep track of assorted parts you've had removed or added that'd be very helpful I'm not saying you need to know whether your fundoplication was innocent or a door but if you're complaining about belly pain it would be nice to know that the last time you had belly pain they took out your gall bladder appendix sigmoid colon and if you've ever had something implanted and they gave you a little card that's not warranty information that tells us if you're going to explode if you go in an MRI bring it otherwise it will be googled that there is a wide range of normal don't be embarrassed by your body having said that if you are concerned about anything ask your doctor we have generally heard it all before and trust me we have nearly always seen it all before maybe you have something that has been bothering you for ages but you were too scared or embarrassed to ask about it just ask it might be nothing and you have been stressing about it for no reason and if not then you are at least one step closer to getting it fixed no one can help if they don't know there are no stupid questions so ask away I'm always amazed when I have been asked about something that has been bothering a patient for years and years but they were too embarrassed scare to bring it up most of the time it is nothing a completely normal body function feature other times it is something that should have been discussed right away you know your body best so speak up don't wait for the doctor to ask the right question some people seem to think that if you act healthy for a bit it will make up for being a wreck there are so many things wrong with this just one example antioxidants are like gas for your car you can store up a certain amount of vitamins but your tank can only hold so much if you binge and overfill your tank it doesn't do anything you excrete it out as waste and you can't expect to go the next several months without gas just because II tried to overload it before you're going to still need to get gas same goes for your fruits and veggies had someone tell me he went vegetarian for a few weeks which meant he was done for the year he was dead serious had a patient at risk for heart failure try to insist that if she stayed away from sold entirely for X days weeks she should be able to have her fill of McDonald's fries and ramen had a smoker argue that if he stopped for some time he should be able to smoke freely for a while with some digging stopping turned out to mean a couple less cigarettes a day my phone is acting up so if this has already been posted I apologize with women please do not use soap or douching products inside your vagina it has a delicate pH balance and this is how you get yeast infections wash your labia but do not clean internally the vagina is self-cleaning just like your eyeballs do you wash your Bibles number do you wash your face yes don't do DIY surgery or hold off on reporting things that are obvious warning signs don't be the guy who tried to remove his skin cancer with a knife doctors hate him they really do you need some kind of exercise doesn't matter how you feel right now sitting for 12 16 hours a day will have negative consequences your kidneys and liver cheerfully do all the toxin elimination you'll ever need cleansers and other detoxifying products our Bulls we went a waste of money the people who sell them are predators who only care about your money becoming theirs type 2 diabetes is more serious than most people realize I work as a doctor in Hamady alysus and most of them are due to diabetic nephropathy it also affects your eyes nerves immune system etc simple life changes can help you but no one seems to care I even lost 9 kilograms myself because I had a family history of diabetes and to be healthy how to check for skin cancer if you see any moles or anything that are asymmetrical be border odd borders like they're jagged or something see color different colors D diameter grows e evolve well evolves go get it checked out it might be skin cancer there is no cure for cancer as it is traditionally thought about cancer is a class of many many very different diseases each with very specific causes ie some molecule that went wrong allowing a cell to multiply out of control even within the same type of cancer ie lung cancer there are many types of lung cancer such a small cell large cell squamous cell etcetera even within the same subtype of cancer there can be different molecular mechanisms that caused it requiring different approaches to treatment looking for the cure for cancer is like looking for the cure for disease that administering CPR compressions ASAP is one of the greatest indicators of successful outcomes had a guy roland post torsades arrest the guy behind him at the DMV where he went down was an IQ nurse who started compressions within seconds and Godley detached patient came in talking with his only complaint being chest pain from the compressions I wouldn't have believed it if the medics hadn't given me the rhythm strip where the orifice each gender urinates through aliens antibiotics are not some magic cure for every pain in your body nor for the flu or common cold never ever boil breast milk in my country there is a popular belief that breast milk jaundice and newborns can be treated by boiling ones breast milk but by doing this you destroy all the nutrients and it basically becomes as nutritious as water is do not give honey to children below the age of one do not rub your child with rubbing alcohol as to lower his fewer baby wipes don't substitute daily bath showers yes I am a pediatrician antibiotics are not some magic cure for every pain in your body nor for the flu or common cold this is a common belief among my peers which is weird because I'm a biology major and you'd think biology majors would know this this is going to sound really basic but I wish my patients would know what meds they are on when they come to the hospital at least once a day comes somebody and who goes yet I take eight pills in the morning three in the evening and four at lunch but don't ask me which they're a doctor you should know I beg of you before going to a doctor that has never seen you before write your meds doses and all on a piece of paper I'm a vet but I'm sure some doctors will have come across this - amputated limbs do not grow back I've had far too many people asking how long it will take for their pets amputated limb to grow back so I'm assuming a few doctors out there will have had patients asking the same of their own missing limbs maybe those people you've met thing called animals or like lizards JK I think sometimes it's shock or fear of what might be ahead and how things might change that makes people say that and then again some are just stupid or ignorant also thanks for what you do as a vet taking care of vulnerable creatures you often will feel normal even with high blood pressure it's often found incidentally so don't wait until it gives you symptoms you don't want to go through your mental health is just as important as your physical health you only get one body the way you treat it has a significantly higher impact in how your health will end up in a decade than what sort of interventions we can give you you really should treat your body like a temple that the immune system is an incredibly complex and nuanced organization of cells that communicates readily to destroy anything deemed hostile within the body it helps explain why vaccines are supposed to work why allergies come and go and why transfusions transplants are hard to successfully pull off my immune system is so complex it attacks my own body good times good times I'm a dentist and if you don't take care of your gums your teeth will fall out of your head and you'll get pee at me when your jawbone as refuse and your denture doesn't fit anymore baby doctor here about to graduate unless you have liver or kidney failure your body detox is itself really well but don't get scammed by these detox teas and whatever can we put this on the front page of everything my mom tells her team patients parent salad that the acne isn't the team's fault but runs in the genes sometimes when it's bad injuries accumulate I cannot stress this enough little kids have no business lifting heavy weights or getting pushed so hard in sports by some of these coaches and seem to have little knowledge of physiology or don't care about the long-term impact of the regiment's stuff like this really changes people's lives that they only have one of their behavior now drinking smoking not taking medicines or whatever will impact their life quality and expectancy it sounds logical but very few patients really realize it high blood pressure doesn't have symptoms majority of the time it's called the silent killer and causes a plethora of other illnesses holy crap this needs to be s our kids stopped getting those magnet piercings on your mouth every week a dozen idiots come in swallowing them once in a blue moon we have to take them to theatre open them up and fish them out the issue is if they don't come out by you crapping them there's a risk they make a hole in your bowel fistula and it becomes an emergency that's why we'd rather fish them out before we have to cut out bits of your bowel I'm not a doctor but as someone that works with those who may be in a psychotic break can get sleep most psychosis happens because someone haven't had slept or haven't had good sleep for extended periods of time some people just need 20 straight hours of sleep and then they never end up in a psychiatric hospital ever again and don't just randomly stop your medication because you feel better you feel better because you have consistent amount of whatever is leveled in your body now and now that your body is hitting equilibrium everything is going great so keep doing what you're doing I've seen people go on and off their medications for years and it really starts to mess up your body if you do that for too long it's okay to seek treatment for your mental health don't feel ashamed because you were diagnosed with an illness seeking help is a strength not a weakness that psychological states may infuse bodily symptoms and that saying so isn't dismissing that the symptoms exist I think it just needs to be worded carefully because very easily it can be misconstrued as it's all in your head but people don't really understand the mind-body connection in males there is a vestigial remnant of the uterus located in the prostate it's called the prostatic utricle it is a duct that leads nowhere it sometimes has some remote endometrium in it and can produce one drop of blood every 28 days source embryology professor in med school so ya guys can get PMS too but it's probably better to call at BMS obrah menstrual syndrome I call it massed relation take care of your kidney if your renal function is shot it closes the door on so many options actually a doctor I wish people would know that when I say I don't think CPR is in your your relatives best interests I am NOT saying I am going to withdraw all treatment immediately CPR is brittle and it has a much lower success rate even if done promptly in hospital than the movies make out if you are old or have a lot of medical problems then the success rate goes down even more if I don't want to do CPR on you it's not because I want you to die it's because I don't want to fracture your ribs expose your body to a huge group of people you don't know everyone loves attending a crash call and repeatedly assault your dead body for nothing I want you to die with dignity and care if there is no chance of bringing you back in summary CPR is great and everyone should learn how to do it it does save lives but if a doctor suggests it should not be performed please give serious thought to that we don't suggest to the NA CPR for no reason this times a thousand ninety percent of arrests I've been to have been on patients that shouldn't have been resuscitated it's horrific teeth are the most disrespected body part a healthy set is as important as a healthy heart infective endocarditis is a thing too not a doctor but never flush unused medicine down the toilet or throw it in the trash especially not antibiotics hand them back into your pharmacy and they will distract them neonatal provider checking in here feed your dang baby the badge of honor you get four exclusively breastfeeding isn't real dehydration severe hyperbilirubinemia Hill polycythemia these are all real and happen all the time feed your baby lots of hospitals will even let you use donor breast milk initially if you are strongly opposed to formula just feed your baby and don't use a cup or a spoon the lactation consultants will tell you that babies know how to lap it up well you didn't give birth to a kitten if your baby has an intact sucker reflex you should use it it allows the gag reflex to work better if you feel strongly about the call set of nipple confusion it's not a thing then ask for OS NS system take that tiny tube to a boob and let your kid eat that way just feed your baby also this nonsense about how a baby only needs a few drops of milk in the beginning because their stomach is only the size of a walnut true their stomach is small but much like most other stomachs it stretches and empties pretty readily into the small intestine plenty of babies eat a full ounce right out the gate air bag lastly if you have a home birth and your kid ends up coming to the hospital biomes please let us do our job if you don't want any of the care we offer then please refuse Em's or don't even call them to begin with drink water not a doctor but I'm a trauma nurse motorcycles are freaking awesome but they are also death machines don't ever get on a freaking motorcycle but if you do anyway wear a fricking helmet not just a helmet but all the proper gear leather jacket motorcycle pants and shoes a t-shirt and flip-flops will not protect you if you go down absolutely avalanched here but your brain is an organ like any other susceptible to disease and malfunction when crap is going awry mentally it is in absolutely no way different to lung struggling with bronchitis your skin biggest organ brain dudes being overtaken by some weird rash kidneys or gall bladder pumping out stones you get the point I hope if you've got a brain down you've got mental health to look after to bottom line just because the output is mainly social doesn't mean the disease disrupting your life isn't as important our brains are awesome but also sometimes misguided in how to preserve our well-being tell someone if they don't listen tell the next person but the best person to talk to is alway a mental health professional if you don't cinch with them just move on to the next on no biggie your whole body will thank you for it in the long run my friends serious doctors over did what was the worst reaction happy in a psychopathic way or sad that you have ever gotten from telling someone they're loved we'll die worked on a medical/surgical for a few years at the beginning of my career as a nurse sure we had a few patients here and there that were just there for observation my first cancer patient I lost in my career seemed like one of those when he was admitted to our floor he was always cheerful polite and never admitted feeling ill in any way one of the nicest people you could want to meet I remember him because of this dude's had Stage four B lung cancer and never once asked for anything over the course of a few months I got to know him better as it turns out he thought he had a bad cold and found out he was dying shortly it's crappy but that's life sometimes I suppose it ain't always pretty when he found out he seemed at peace with it all then he began working like a madman from his bed every time I went into his room to check on him or give him meds he was writing in a notebook only once did he receive visits hell he was with us and it was his wife who was brought by a friend she never learned to drive because she never wanted or needed to dude spent his entire life taking care of her completely and totally as it turns out all the writing in notebooks was him leaving her notes of how to do things he'd literally taken care of her since they were in high school she didn't even know how to use a dishwasher nothing I think of him from time to time when I've had a rough go with love in my life the times I asked this man about his wife were some of the few times I saw his face light up with the light it's nice to think that love like that exists the ones that really stick out are the people who take the news with quiet dignity had one patient present with dermatomyositis 20% of people with this have an underlying malignancy I told the patient and family this and asked if they wanted to look they said yes did a CT scan showed multifocal tumor burden in the liver Barsi showed pancreatic Adana carcinoma unfortunately so Mets to the liver equals stage four broke the news to the patient and her family and her response was thank you for telling me that must have been really hard for you to do pancreatic adenocarcinoma seems to always take the most gentle people work in orthopaedics had a car crash involving seven family members youngest was a nine-year-old with open fractures to both legs rushed straight into theatre but the child had developed rapid onset sepsis mixed with some blood loss turnip a died on the table before surgery could begin properly despite a large number of staff as you can imagine we couldn't do any more the father was the last to find out as suffered a fractured skull and was moved to a different trauma hospital crash occurred halfway between the two hospitals patients were split up due to rush need at the time he had a bleed on the brain and was in IQ for a week wife didn't tell him until he left IQ out of fear it would set him off him the recovery I heard when he found out he self discharged an attempted suicide I hope he is all right now and getting help but unfortunately being in a different area it's hard to find out I believe it was actually his wife that was driving finally as a side note please ensure that your head rest in a car is adjusted correctly I see a lot of head skull and neck injuries frequently because of this only today I was seeing a fractured c5 because of this it's something you're only have to do once if you're driving the same car all the time it's in combination with a seatbelt it really is there for a reason not just for comfort one of my patients had squamous cell carcinoma in situ on his lip that I caught early and was actually removed entirely in the bar see we still wanted him to get topical chemotherapy on the area to make extra sure we got everything for those unaware it's like a lotion and mostly only has local skin side effects it was actually good news but I wanted to reinforce that he's at a higher risk of developing new cancers and it's possible that his children have the same genetic predisposition so he needs to make sure he and his kids need to be using sunscreen and lip balm with sunscreen Aten plus six month follow-up he was a native Spanish speaker but his english seemed above-average so I didn't want to use a translator if I didn't have to well judging from the years and how upset he was I guess I misjudged his English skills he did a good job at picking up a buzz words he heard cancer more cancer chemotherapy and his children have a higher chance of getting cancer but he missed all the important context he thought was going to die and his kids were too I quickly got a translator and explained everything again he was still distraught over the emotional rollercoaster moments ago but he understood what was going on so my worst reaction was a wrong reaction because I flicked up I was working the burn unit guy comes in MVC head-on collision the other driver was drunk and crossed lanes his wife was killed in the crash every time he woke up he asked where his wife was and he had to be told he would just start saying 42 years and sobbing I can't imagine what it was like for that guy having to remember every single time you wake up he was in a lot of pain aka lots of dilaudid which contributed to his confusion slowly over time had sank in very heartbreaking to watch in tan year of residency while working on the vascular surgery service a page is about an older lady who was being transferred in from an outside hospital with an aortic aneurysm rupture äôt chimerism ruptures have a really poor outcome but the interesting thing is that while an individual is actively dying from it they are still coherent and not in relatively terrible pain about a couple minutes of me leaving the Arun the patient died anyways the daughter and best friend arrived presumably being with her at the other facilities our previously I took them to a separate room away from all the hustle of the year and let them know of course they were surprised because we were just talking to her and she didn't seem to be in that much pain both of which are true statements a Otakon yur ISM ruptures really are a relatively low pain way to die but can be pretty shocking for the loved ones to register in a short amount of time alternatively it was the 40-something year old mother of two who had been admitted for nausea and vomiting and died on multi-system organ failure heart attacks strokes ice chemical Isis pulmonary embolism et Cie because of a rare clotting disorder them decided to manifest itself all that once for the first time in her telling a family that someone that young and previously healthy that not only is the mother going to die but that they should have their doctor lookout screening them for a rare condition is no fun I was at a delivery where both mom and baby were having problems as we were saving baby the or team was trying to save mom we did they didn't as we were leaving with baby to the knee cuvee or doc was telling dad and his family that his wife didn't make it but he saw his baby and asked when mom could begin breastfeeding grandma fell to the floor crying but dad just had this look like he was just waking up and not hearing what was going on seeing him visit the Nick who was just so sad you could see him trying to hold it all in while visiting his baby deputy here I've been to her quite a few deaths and I've only seen one that was happy the husband was a lifetime alcoholic and was on hospice for various related illnesses when we arrived he was DOA she told us he went to go to the bathroom gasped and literally dropped dead she was at first sad the more she talked about him we could tell he was a real bastard she pretty much couldn't make a move without him he wouldn't let the grandkids come over and they lived next door when the funeral home came to collect the body they had difficulty getting him loaded up the wife remark Tevan dead he still finds a way to be a pain I couldn't help but grin when she said it thankfully I wasn't the only one in the room but we spend three hours on and off explaining to his family that we couldn't transfer their deceased child to another hospital I think they believe the kid was in a vegetative state and that we just gave up on them instead of the reality that their kid was dead my in-laws did this when their daughter was shot in a hunting accident they were in a rural hospital and thought if they could get her to a better one she would have survived I work and I could so I often have to tell families bad news the most recent memory was a daughter telling me this must be the hardest part of your job I was taken back just because despite the tragedy she was enduring she still had the ability to empathize with what I also had to do paramedic here I have only had one person say that to me throughout my entire career and it stuck with me to this day I was a med student in a case where an 11 year old child suddenly died during a routine orthopedic procedure for a broken arm there were about 20 family members there with balloons and stuff when the surgeon told them the news they all started screaming and scattered running in different directions around the hospital one of them started clawing at me like a zombie definitely one of the most disturbing things I've ever witnessed previous nursing assistant on a respiratory ward elderly male patient decided to willingly opt out of respire Ettore support machine lovely man his time inevitably came around six hours later early in the morning his granddaughter young girl around mid-twenties the only family member in the hospital at the time was so devastated she climbed into the bed with him and wouldn't leave the ward endless crying shrieking and asking for her granddad to wake up heartbreaking stuff stuff and doctors tried to coerce her to take some time outside but she wouldn't leave the bed eventually the rest of the family arrived and talked her out but took a good few hours this was three years ago when I'd recently started training in the hospital and I was placed in a consultation room for a week but the doctor had told me the next patient had received many treatments for her bowel cancer but the cancer was coming back too fast there was nothing the hospital could offer her anymore so that day we were to tell her how she only had an estimated three months left to live they walked in the room and she looked as if she already understood what we were about to say but the husband was distraught he was in tears and I had to do my best to offer advice and comfort as the doctor had already gone back to his paperwork it was one of the most harrowing experiences I've had in the hospital to date here in his desperate pleas off whether there was anything we could do to help his wife did her best to console him - but I could see she needed the support - I'm really sorry I couldn't do anything to help old friend I hope your wife rests peacefully when I worked in a large inner city of this family had brought in their grandmother who had went to take a nap in the family living room on her family chair well when she didn't wake up for 810 hours the family activated Em's and brought her to me she had been dead for half the day at this point which was very obvious so we called it the lady was stiff at this point when I called the family into the room all 20 of them to tell them there 88 Sheila without a decent organ in her body on dialysis had indeed died they accused me first off lying then second off murdering her police had to be called as a particularly boisterous 14 yo female was being very threatening and repeating what a lot of families say she was fine this morning people don't just die unfortunately that is how everyone dies 88 is a long time if I could sign a contract that would guarantee I would live to 88 but not a day older I'd sign that crap right now kind of unrelated but was doing my internship on a palliative care ward where we were occasionally supporting patients through the medical assistance in dying process one wisecracking patient was set to pass away that day all of the preparations had been made and he had said his goodbyes to his family there was a bit of a delay and the family had stepped out of the room momentarily a poor nursing student assumed that the medically assisted death had already been performed and walked into the patient's room all of a sudden he set up in the bed stared at her and exclaimed why aren't the drugs working she ran out of the room terrified with him cackling in the background honestly I don't see how I'd have done differently in a city Detroit in the 80s where I trained a surgeon mostly knife and gang trauma it was common for reactions to be violent the organ procurement nurse was beating up when he spoke with a family member about organ donation another time a family member punched and kicked dozens of holes in the walls up and down a corridor two brothers on hearing about the death of their third brother were vowing revenge I got them to promise not to do it on a night I was on trauma call the worst were the parents of a young man killed while committing our pay not only did they have to deal with the loss of their son but the circumstances of his death were terrible acquired shock your son is dead and was also our pissed dang best was talking with the family matriarch strong businesswoman whose children had taken over several businesses in the town very rich influential family we originally admitted her as a stroke but on further review found multiple brain metastases family wanted everything done this was a mentally alert woman who would 94 they wanted to have chemo and surgery I discussed her options with her including no aggressive treatment she elected for this she went into hospice and died peacefully a few months later she asked what I would do having just gone through this with my grandmother and grandfather the year before I gave her both sides of the story doing everything and buying a few months but dealing with surgery and illness or just pursuing comfort measures I think she was happy with the decision I think the family was upset with me for giving her that option good on you for giving her all the options some family just want to hold on and ultimately it's not their choice I'd rather enjoy six comfortable months than nine and hospitals and being sick patient came in for Drago D with her boyfriend she was stabilized but a complication caused her to pass we stood there for a few moments and let him have a moment he had one of those thousand-yard stare looks on his face and he went full rage he got on the bed and started beating her and when I mean beating her I mean close fisted punches on her face and body and kept saying why why would you do this to me he called her a selfish be in some other crap I can't remember because 8-10 people had to pull him back he was removed out of the hospital and kept screaming why that one will always stick after me so men a traumatic event it is hard to recall the details or to pick one but this one was different no trauma no emergency we told this friendly guy of his diagnosis that will kill him soon weeks two months then asked who we should talk to what who can be his guard line he only had his boss from his recent job no family no friends he was all alone his boss visited once early on I thought about that a lot still do so here's a weird one that stuck with me had a patient in his 50s died in a single room on the ward while surrounded by his Portuguese family mostly women wife sisters in-laws all in their 40s at least we knew he was deteriorating and had no plans to resuscitate if and when he died a few days into his admission he passes away while the family were visiting I get called in by the nurse to confirm the death and everyone in the room is completely silent and watching me I confirmed what they already know and everyone just mobs me hugging me kissing my hands kissing my cheeks and thanking me profusely for looking after their relative not what I was expecting at all it was like a sudden collective release of tension in the room somehow I think they were just for a lead he wasn't suffering anymore I think that was exactly it you helped their family member in a time of suffering and now that it's over they'll thank you had a patient who was flown in from far away with a non survivable accidental burn the only family member at the hospital was an adult child who had a very appropriate response when I told them shock disbelief sadness denial et Cie the patient's spouse was still at home hours away I called the spouse and told them about the nature of the burn the need to get to the hospital ASAP to say goodbyes etc the response was ok thank you doctor most people are frantic but this person was completely calm and more concerned about getting the house cleaned up the patient surprisingly made it through the night and the family brought the spouse to the hospital the next morning I was able to talk to the spouse and realized that when the patient left the house with the paramedics the spouse knew that there was no way the patient would survive I was just confirming what they already knew that they were losing their partner of almost 40 years they seemed more concerned about the house because they just couldn't bear to look at the footprints burned into the carpet anymore I work in a pediatric cancer hospital and once when we were talking to her mother about her two-year-olds daughter's poor prognosis she said as a mother all I can really think of now that I'm losing a child is when I can start trying for another one it was definitely one of the most uncomfortable reactions I've ever heard I know grief is complicated but I will never forgot because no one in the room knew how to respond this is surprisingly common a lot of parents that lose babies during labor or in the Nick who don't change anything in anticipation of trying again as soon as possible they leave the nursery intact and the car seat installed grief is a complex thing when I was a Pediatrics resident working in the neonatal intensive care unit a set of twins were delivered way too early the parents had already given names to twin a and twin B they both survived delivery but twin B died overnight when we broke the terrible news to them they were appropriately devastated but the thing that always struck me as weird is what they did next they decided to switch names so that the twin that lived had the name they liked more I often think back on the twin that died and how sad that all was anesthesiologists what are the best things people have said under the gas mine eyne why o son going under for his MRI that would show if he would need his right leg amputated if a hip just as he slipped under I am a brave boy I am a brave boy dang broke me then breaks me now typing this what a kid he is a brave boy I had a colonoscopy just last month in the lady who administered the propofol and I had a brief conversation like this me how long is that gonna take to kick in her you'll be out in less than ten I always win with a big grin on her face I started to feel it immediately after that and followed with you'll never take me down I then recall laughing like a maniac followed by nothing I think a quip about always winning and obviously the propofol got me good at her I was semi awake during a hand surgery the only person I could see was the anesthesiologist I remember telling him some jokes while I lay there then I remember hearing the doctor chuckle on the other side of the curtain followed by woody put her the Frick out then blackness I often have wondered if my hand would work better now if I weren't so dang hilarious not an anesthesiologist but was a tech had a patient wake up violently when he came to he said sorry I thought I was a shark happened today patient as a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of anesthesia when he was being wheeled out the anesthesiologist accidentally hit the doorframe on the way out patient did you just do surgery on my leg anesthesiologist yes you had surgery and are waking up from it patient then why are you running into things fantastic not an anesthesiologist bid might I placed extremely Christian great-grandma apparently asked to the Frick is that ugly son of a B while she was waking up from a surgery the person she was referring to her preacher who stopped by to check up on her she never lived that one down the story was even told at her funeral she was kinda strict but she was a great lady with a great sense of humor nor gasps but right after giving my dazzle a my had a patient say wow this feels like the 70s and have had quite a few old men ask me out on a date before passing out a few seconds later when I came out of surgery at 14 I told everyone I was fine and just felt like a Gatorade but mom got it for me opened the lid and handed it over I took it and maintaining direct eye contact with her I tipped it upside down nowhere near my mouth got Gatorade all over me and was super confused that's where my memory ends mom tells me after looking briefly confused I just shrugged and settled back down to fall asleep I had surgery last year and when waking up they had a communal room where around 7-8 people would all be waking up at the same time before being sent to individual rooms for some reason I remember waking up slowly and hearing someone else being asked if they wanted some water for some reason this really excited me like there was nothing more in the entire world I wanted them to be asked if I wanted water by practically yelled or as much as I could yell in that state hey ask me if I want water and I'm pretty sure it came out in a let me speak to your manager turn but I was just so excited about the water Anesthesiologists here I was once transporting a patient to the iQue after surgery in which he got some ketamine and he was rocking out the entire way there with his air guitar my anesthesiologists tried to calm me down with a joke when I was a little kid being put under my mom later told me about how I apparently commented on the joke being not at all funny and how I hoped he was more talented as a doctor mind kept telling dad jokes and I apparently said thank God I'm going to be unconscious soon as a critique of his jokes I was the patient after I had my wisdom teeth removed I remember trying to drink some water spilling it all over myself and then crying asking who took my water patient woke up halfway through a colonoscopy and asked the gastroenterologist if he'd removed the egg oblem yet my dad's an anesthesiologist he was treating a woman and he said I'm putting you to sleep now she replied with the most horrified look on her face like a dog I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was okay I looked around saw everyone giving shoots about me said Frick this loudly and very clearly and went right back to sleep my friends thought it was hilarious my mom was mortified backstory I have epilepsy and a vagal nerve stimulator to control the seizures it works wonders from three to four seizures a week to almost none a year I went in for the replacement of my device going under I looked at my mother and started laughing hysterically she asked what was funny I said she had horns and as I was coming out of all the drugs the nurse was kind of a jackass to me so I said oh man the next time I puke I'm gonna puke on you I did he said man your aim is good I'm not even mad at you two of my fam both patients coming out of anesthesia am I in heck I responded no you're not you're just in recovery that sounds like something the devil would say account backwards from 100 to prove it or the one who stroked my unshaved on while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV and muttered you'd make such a great carpet BTA he likes you people really like hairy arm carpets I love the implication that the devil can't count backwards I'm an anesthesiologist I was recently taking care of a 17 year old kid and he looks at me and says dude I am high as Frick they almost never remember it afterward me after getting my wisdom teeth taken out nurse want my mom that I'd probably be saying some crazy crap until I came down fully which I thought was total bulls as I was super lucid felt like I could walk around fine and was slightly annoyed but understood when they loaded me in the wheelchair they clearly told me that I couldn't eat solid food how to treat the massive holes in my gums etc however I was craving a pop Tet like needed one ASAP mouth drooling probably actually bleeding but whatever and having in-depth fantasies of going to town on the largest pack I could find quite conveniently in the car on the way home I discovered nothing else but a cookies and cream pop turd pack I'm seriously making sweet mouth love to this pastry never happier until I remember I'm not supposed to eat solid foods i shamed fully tell my mom the news and that she has to take my brief but delicious love away from me I specifically remember saying it's for the greater good so I'm trying to hand for her my pop took from the back seat while she's driving on the highway no less when I realized that pop that isn't there the popped had never existed besides in my mind she says okay Tolkien I got it honey and I reply the pop Ted was fake wasn't it I giggled for a bit then went back to doing whatever the heck I wanted in my head fun times 10 stroke 10 would do again by the time I had a c-section I'd been in labor for 36 hours awake for 48 had pushed for four hours and was exhausted and super out of it I remember the doctor holding up this baby shaped object and I said to my husband Zac the baby never mind it's not and he said actually yes that's our baby and then I started arguing with him and telling him I was positive that wasn't the baby and he had no proof it was spoiler alert it was the baby in high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury after the surgery I woke up in post-op which was a fairly large room with probably six to seven other patients and beds waiting to become conscious again I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with a computer on it they stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper we've got to plug this thing and all this one is going to die naturally semi-conscious me thought that the thing was me and I started to incoherence Lee yelling IRS's to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low we used to call those carts Cal's computer on wheels but apparently patients don't like it or think we're talking about them so we aren't supposed to anymore during my wisdom teeth surgery they were playing music and Billie Jean comes on I said glad Michael Jackson could join us and that was the last thing I remember my husband went under last year and once he woke up by our appearances he was as sober as a church mouse walking asking serious questions of the doctor apparently no issues are all he remembered the procedure and described it to me in detail I figured he just never went completely under he was craving Chinese food and nothing would do except for buffet so we headed down and loaded up our first load of plates evidently he actually woke up from the anesthesia at the buffet as far as he remembers he was put under and woke up in front of a plate of chicken teriyaki on a stick okay that's world law after getting my wisdom teeth removed I looked at my mother-in-law and said how did you get on my rocket ship after my wisdom teeth removal I woke up babbling about pink Cadillacs when I was about to go out for surgery they were strapping me down and told me it was so that I'd odd fall off the table my last words were it's okay five-second rule thank God after five seconds they would have had to toss you Jeremy the intern though might have kept you though that gross MF not an anaesthesiologist bid my husband kept telling the medical staff after his procedure that it's okay my wife's a doctor she knows what you're talking about I'm a lawyer I was the patient I was getting my gallbladder removed and as they were wheeling me back I started to cry and said I'm gonna wake up with my lips stitched to someone's butthole when I got put under for a colonoscopy I didn't really fall asleep during the countdown I just looked at the nurse a bit confused them said um I don't notice anything and she smiled and squeezed my wrist and said just give us a moment as soon as she said that I started fading out and according to her the last thing I mumbled was oh that freaked you magic which when they told me to start counting I apparently counted for 45 seconds before I went out but I only remember the first ten law last year they were knocking me out for a colonoscopy it was the third time I had been put under in a year as such I had a curiosity I had heard that when they knocked you out you are still awake for a while you just don't remember so in the spirit of science I proposed to test with the anesthesiologist when she started the medicine I would begin counting backward when I would wake up we would compare what I remember to watch he observed plunger down 99 98 97 I remember nothing more minutes later I awoke the anesthesiologists despite me and came over quickly what did you remember she asked 97 she began laughing you got down to seven that's awesome I had a patient start to joke before surgery and finish it when they woke up without prompting I can just imagine it going like what do you call a guy W a Roberto hours later , Roberto I went on the foreign nasal canal surgery and apparently after the surgery I was holding the nurses hand and repeating I love you don't leave me over and over I had a patient coming out of anesthesia who opened his eyes as I was switching him from a mask to nasal cannula tell me this hospital has the most beautiful women I've ever seen made me blush I was so flattered and made the rest of my day awkward with my coworkers teasing me about it however you are sleepy man I simul taneous Lee thank you and hate you I was given a relaxer prior to colonoscopy and was rolled into the room doctor asked me what I had done that weekend I said I went to the MN State Fair oh she says eat anything intrusting I said why don't you tell me no laughter whatever in the room and then I was out I swear she gave an extra shove because I half woke up during the procedure and remember groaning my cousin had a similar experience before his colonoscopy they gave him the relaxer and he then started calling his gown his dress and kept trying to cover his butt because it's not time for his close-up yet not an anesthesiologist the anesthesiologist lad came in to check me over had bright blue teeth and lips keep in mind I was high as Frick I asked him how Smurfette was last night I passed out hearing the nurses laughing my wife is in anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is this is better than M not an anesthesiologist but I knew a guy who had surgery and afterwards wanted to go home just he wasn't recovered enough to when the nurse wasn't gonna let him get up yet he turned to the nurse and said you may not realize this but I'm a ninja and we heal three times faster than normal people that the nurse stopped trying to keep him in bed he stood and immediately ate the floor um floor my dad works with that stuff funniest thing he's heard as hey mr. doctor my butt itches and I'm too high to scratch I was about to be put under for a colonoscopy while the nurse was trying to position me in a way to make it easiest for them to work I had my knees to my chest and was passing out from the gas when I asked the nurse to paint me like one of her French girls then passed out still makes me cringe funny a Pheo I was a patient I went in the get er MRI at 7:00 they injected me with something and I said while that made me really sleepy then the doctor said sucka shouldn't be able to talk I still haven't told anyone I remember that I'm pretty sure my mother was in the room but idk woke up after wisdom teeth surgery alone in a small recovery room I called out for my mom and dad and when they didn't immediately come to my side I called out for Captain Kirk my fiance and I had broken up within the last week and was still dealing with that horribly I was on pain meds for my shoulder and was scheduled for surgery in the current week the day of the surgery I was to get a nerve block the anesthesiologist was the one performing the nerve block he and I were chit-chatting and he was just a really comforting person he was telling me about everything that was going to go on during the surgery then we were just chit-chatting about life when the topic of the breakup came up he was even comforting with that so after that I was wheeled into surgery he was there to put me under which for some reason put me at great ease as I was going under I guess I started talking through the mask and he lifted the mask to hear what I was trying to say when I boldly stated I still love you fiance's name while holding direct eye contact with him I didn't know I did it not until he visited me and recovery he said thanks for the nickname then told me what I said I guess the entire surgical staff referred to him by my fiance's name for the duration of the surgery so not only did I call this poor guy a woman's name that stuck with him for the duration for the surgery I stated how much I loved him to boot but when I went back for the second surgery guess who my anesthesiologist was regardless of my foul-ups he is an awesome anesthesiologist and really good at his job my wife couldn't take me for my first colonoscopy due to work so my mother did and apparently coming out of anesthesia when they were removing my IV I told the nurse oh that's neat I've taken a lot of those out but I've never had it done to me and my patients are always dead apparently she looked very concerned by this information and my mother had to explain that I've been a licensed funeral director for many years and hospitals and other facilities often do not remove tubing apparently I then followed that up by telling the young nurse she had a nice butt but not as nice as my wife's my mother felt free to share that with everyone so yet I creeped out a nurse by talking about my occupation and then even more by commenting on her belt in a backhanded compliment I broke my hand tumbling once and had to get surgery he goes to put the mask on my face and says this is oxygen i cough as the mask goes on he pulls the mask away and I said I trusted you you lying freak that's the last thing I remember not an anesthesiologist but when I severely dislocated and broke my knee I apparently gave one of the doctors that was just finishing resetting my leg a huge slap on the back and yelled it's fixed you guys are the best doctors I've ever seen giving a five-star review wife said the nurses were cracking up I'm a pretty big guy in the doctor I gave the friendly pat on the bat was a relatively small dude when I had a cavity filled a few years ago I vaguely remember hugging one of the doctors after waking up as an added bonus I apologized to my parents because I didn't think I could drive I was too young to drive at the time nurse anesthetist here when I was in school I was getting ready to get a lady off to sleep and going through my regular spiel I had the mask on her face and I said nice big breaths as I pushed propofol right before she went out she said thanks I just had them done I looked at my preceptor we looked at the circulator and we all burst out laughing I now say slow deep breaths instead I love telling that story that lady made all our days this is hilarious I could easily see this being on a show like scrubs before my emergency appendectomy and right as they wheeled me away I grabbed my husband and said very loudly don't forget to tell them our back-up plan if this crap goes south I want my legs and arms removed so you can carry me around in a backpack the student doctor accidentally wheeled me into the wall cause he was laughing so hard you have been visited by the party pug he just wants you to celebrate with him comment woohoo to celebrate with the party Park thanks for watching if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 158,353

Rating: 4.7998948 out of 5

Keywords: doctor stories, doctors, reddit doctor, medical stories, medical, nurse, doctor, hospital, er room, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: flAQng9sywg

Length: 74min 20sec (4460 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 14 2020