The Best Doctor Stories of r/AskReddit

doctors override it what are some of your auntie vax parents Tory's not a doctor but a story I heard stuck with me the head of pediatrics from a Toronto hospital I forgot which one was giving a talk and told a story about how early in her practice she had a little boy in for his scheduled vaccines and was answering the nervous mother's questions the mother planned to go ahead with the vaccines but had heard lots of auntie VAX propaganda and so she was worried and had lots of questions while they were talking but before they administered the vaccines the poor little kids suffered a grand mal seizure it was really bad the kid ended up getting admitted to the hospital and suffered a fairly serious brain injury it occurred to the pediatrician much later that if that seizure had hit ten minutes later or if the appointment had been 10 minutes earlier nothing would have ever convinced that poor mother that it wasn't the vaccine that caused the seizure had a kid common for generic upper respiratory virus asked mom if he was vaccinated as his routine she said no when I asked why not her response was well my boyfriend was vaccinated and he still got meningitis so they don't even work I told her that's the same as saying your friend got bruised by a seat belt in a car accident so you don't wear them when you drive we had a 14 year old female common for abdominal pain one time she weighed 80 pounds looked sickly her mother refused to let her eat anything but a handful of things nothing with very much protein at all she literally had a binder full of articles about how horrible vaccines are all the bad things they put in food these days etc she had completely brainwashed this kid so the kid believed it too her labs showed malnutrition her teeth were horrible just a sad case all around curious if the mother was on the same diet bet not had a five or six years old patient who had a super hippie mom no reason for not vaccinating other than she doesn't want to despite counseling many times a kid also had asthma and would consistently come and for exacerbations despite prescribing appropriate controller meds the amount of exacerbation just didn't make sense one day I sent my student to see him first while I call the pharmacy to see if his meds were received the student came back saying I can't get a history from mom she's literally falling asleep while talking to me also pharmacy said the meds haven't been picked up from the last three visits that was enough for me to call CPS mom was on drugs living situation deplorable last I heard kid was moved to an aunt who caught him up with age-appropriate vaccines when I was a med student I had a parent who wanted to do a delayed vaccination schedule basically it means that you get all the same vaccinations but you pointlessly and foolishly do it over a longer time period the mom had read a book promoting this practice that was unfortunately written by an MD my pediatric attending had zero Jill is at the book written by dr. question mark yes well then you should know that I was in the same medical school class as dr. but I got much better scores than he did dang that's frickin Savage I would have loved to see it not a doctor but so significant other works with children that have autism she has one parent that consistently tells her she regrets vaccinating her kid she then asks questions to my so about which vaccines are the ones that cause autism as if it's a big secret my so tells her that autism is predetermined before birth and signs just aren't noticeable until around two years of age she still tries to justify her logic with other anti-vaxxers parents stories from FB my saw has two masters degrees towards this field it blows my mind how they can still argue with overwhelming facts I'm not a doctor but an RN in public health I recently had a mother call me to ask me if it was a smart idea for her child should get the MMR vaccine why was she asking this she was worried that would make his autism worse nearly qualified pharmacist here so obligatory not a doctor our pharmacy offers travel vaccines for people going away to countries with a high likelihood of severe tropical disease star parenting goes to the parents who got themselves vaccinated for rabies but not their two primary school-aged elementary for non Brits children in medical school I saw kiddo whose parents refused vaccines and so when they were given the vaccine refusal form to sign this form essentially said that the parents understood that refusing vaccines was against medical advice that the kiddo could get sick from all those preventable diseases and that they wouldn't hold the doctor practice liable for any complications that the kiddo may get from sit preventable diseases this mom pulled out a sharpie and blacked out the part about the doctor not being held liable the parents thought that we'd be cool with them just changing that form just for them and they wanted the doctor to be held liable for their moronic choice of course this didn't work and they were told to sign the form or they would be discharged from the practice and have to find another they refused to sign and were told to leave after given a list of other pediatricians in the area med school student here I was getting my hair cut and I was talking to the Babri or about how more people should get the new meningitis B vaccines since I know a person who got meningitis B and almost died the desk lady went off about how vaccines are dangerous and pretty much every single aunt Eve acts talking point I explained the actual facts behind vaccines and said that I'm studying medicine I think I might know what I'm talking about and then she went off about professors not knowing what they are talking about in that they just teach what they are told to teach so that we can all be brainwashed into supporting the big pharmaceutical companies in that my proof were all fabricated by them not a doctor but to nurse and a vaccine advocate once had a public argument with a friend from long ago he argued that by not vaccinating his kids and risking terrible side effects and possible autism he was placing no one else at risk however acknowledged the potential risk to his kids after attempting to explain the potential risk to others and him failing to understand I created in another which I still use to this day imagine if my kids and your kids get into the same car both of your kids don't put on seat belts therefore if there is an accident there is an increased risk that your kids will die and also harm my children in the process this seemed to click with him and he doesn't share his auntie vac propaganda on social media anymore good analogy it's like not wearing your seatbelt because you worried you could get trapped in your car after an accident it's astronomically more likely you will be killed in an accident but hey at least you have avoided the miniscule risk of being trapped in a burning car by your seatbelt not directly related to my being a doctor but a mutual friend of mine and my wife's is a chiropractor and anti-vaxxer refused to vaccinate her first two kids I didn't want her or her kids coming anywhere near our place when we had newborns or kids too because of the risk her unvaccinated kids placed on my partially vaccinated babies she got all offended saying the usual rubbish like if vaccines work what do your kids have to fear and your kids are more risk to mine because they'll be shedding viruses doubt her third child was born with cystic fibrosis which makes them very susceptible to all forms of respiratory and airborne infectious diseases suddenly the whole hypocritical family is vaccinated against everything well at least they were able to change to protect their vulnerable child it could be worse they could have dug in and endangered their youngest not a doctor but I worked at a Children's Hospital in research at the time as a coordinator a bunch of us were sitting in our office space talking about medical care of some sort casually I think maybe flu vaccines and one coordinators cuts in well I don't know if you've seen the recent research but there are a number of issues with vaccines that make them and safe they are highly correlated with autism the room got quiet because everyone was polite one person said oh I heard that I think in an effort to not alienate the girl I responded that's not true because I couldn't not say that she said yeah I'll send you the link I said I think I've probably read the study it's been rescinded then it got more awkward this was probably 2017 I just couldn't believe that in 2017 a person whose job it is to understand research at a hospital with children can fall victim to bad research that has not been supported by any reputable source since probably the 90s he'll tell a different kind of story I am Anna Dakin recently had this interaction with a patient adult male comes in with fever he comes back positive for the flu me you have the flu I will write you for a prescription for Tamiflu patient docent that cause autism this guy couldn't even remember that it was vaccines that reportedly cause autism and he couldn't remember that it wasn't the flu vaccine and of course he is wrong about vaccines causing autism and he is a grown-ass adults that thinks he will suddenly be autistic Tamiflu doesn't cause autism just causes empty wallet source had to take it once I'm not a medical doctor but a mental health therapist went to do a new client intake and while asking the mother about the kids medical history vaccination records et Cie she said he was not vaccinated because vaccines cause autism and she didn't want to risk her son getting it then when I went to meet the kid within five seconds of laying eyes on him I could tell he was autistic worst part was that when I told her she became very upset and started yelling at her husband saying he must have gotten the kids secretly vaccinated and then immediately ran out the house and took the kid to the emergency room for testing and just left me and the dad in the living room just kind of staring at each other never answered my calls or texts again after that and I had to get DCF involved not a doctor but my former primary care doctor was a crazy anti-vaxxer he told me I didn't need the meningitis vaccine because no one gets it anymore freshman year I woke up in my dorm and couldn't move any of my limbs my roommate took me to the ER and I tested positive for it I ended up staying in the hospital for three weeks and I'm lucky to be alive the doctor is thankfully not practicing anymore pediatric resident here in the US our continuity clinic accepts everyone including those cakes out of previous practices for anti vaccination beliefs which is a bit frustrating at times really it's a mixed bag for how we can handle these patients ostracizing the parents is only going to build further barriers between provider and kid so that doesn't help frankly what has worked best in my experience is to try to understand where the families are coming from explicitly asking what their thoughts are on vaccines to let them voice their misunderstandings often times this is the first time they've been allowed to talk about their questions and concerns regarding vaccines with a trained MD that doesn't just belittle them most frustratingly it takes patience and time assessing where they are regarding change precontemplation contemplation etc helps determine where we are for vaccinating them today in a month or in a few months one thing that I do draw the line on is to make sure that we see these kids more frequently the normal children as they are at higher risks for illnesses because they are not vaccinated no room for negotiation on that point this helps to fold first it helps build rapport with the family but also secondly if they decide to take a delayed schedule which is still not ideal but better than no vaccines we can eventually catch them up to speed with their vaccinations by frequent return visits interestingly it's always the yoga pants' Karen types at or the anti-vaxxer or pro measles as I've been calling them lately rather than the less educated single moms on welfare or the recent immigrants that speak no English ultimately where the kids Doc's in their advocates and are most effective when we are live with the families or better put get the families to ally with us and do have to be Stern after a certain point it's a mix of being Stern but also compromising to work with families to provide their kids as much in the best data supported care as possible I work in a neonatal I COO our neonatologists also work as the pediatricians for the healthy newborns our medical director asked me to come with her to mom's room because she anticipated some issues after speaking with the moms nurse MD explains the importance of vaccinations vitamin K and the state NBS mum absolutely not you need to do your research MD I'm double board certified have a MD and a PhD in biomedical engineering have 30 years of experience and I'm the medical director for this hospitals pediatrics neonatal department I am published in over a dozen journals I assure you the risks are minimal and the benefits outweigh them for the safety of your child mum I bet Big Pharma paid you to say that I feel like Family Guy said it best there's an episode when Alice and Peter kidnapped this child to get him to a hospital because the parents believed prayer will heal their kid so Lois eventually has to confront them and says something like maybe the vaccines and medicines are God's answer to your prayers so why keep praying if you're going to wipe your butt with his reply when I was a medical student I had a five-year-old patient who looked and acted like a two-year-old failure to thrive his mother was super super weird she shaved the sides of his head somehow like a marine cut but kept his back hair long she refused to vaccinate him or even feed him setting foods her sister and her husband were trying to get custody of the child because his mother was weird and didn't take care of him properly I suspect she was paranoid she would literally fight and call you names if you attempt to suggest to put a kid on a proper Hospital diet she wanted to inspect the food first and to make sure he eats only certain things long story short the attending calling County and they took the child away from her good holy crap that neglectful nurse and frankly abuse would have severely impacted that child later on not a doctor but I'm a brother of the victim my mom has this belief that vaccines cause mental illness she forbid us to go to the doctor and six weeks later my sister got sick and died from measles tryam now is distant from my own mom now not a doctor yet with a med school student a fellow student of mine is very happy about not being completely vaccinated she is also happy that our country Germany is still a free country considering vaccination since she believes that they don't really work at this point I'd like to remind you that she is a medical student and at least once a year we have to have a medical check-up to make sure our mandatory vaccinations are in order simply because we're studying and working at a hospital with a lot of immunocompromised patients anyway she was happy to inform me that she only got the vaccinations that were absolutely mandatory so she got no tetanus shot for example and she believes she will never get tetanus simply because she doesn't want to and she believes that is enough since our minds are so capable of healing our bodies if we let them go free for example by using hallucinogenic drugs luckily that can only harm her and no others I'm really not a bad person be like kind of hope she cuts a foot on a rusty nail and gets a little bit of tetanus nothing that will kill her or in any way have a lasting effect on her besides maybe convincing her that vaccinations work I really don't want her to become a doctor I had a kid come in that was super sick three years old and in septic shock he had the flu and another a compounded viral infection or maybe pertussis heart rate was close to 200 respiratory rate in the 50s blood pressure in the 70s the kid was so freaking dry that we could barely get IVs into him and I almost had to drill an eye oh we dumped a ton of fluids into him started him on vasopressors and transferred him to the local Children's Hospital I had asked the mom if he was vaccinated she said no vaccines have really bad side effects they'll make you sick I explained to her that not getting the vaccines had made her kid ten times sicker than he ever would have been from any mild vaccine reaction she told me I was a fricking [ __ ] and that I obviously have no clue what I'm talking and that's the reason her kid was getting transferred she also told me that recommending she vaccinate her kids was racist for anyone not familiar with the jargon and ILO is an intraosseous line that means the thing goes inside your bone to deliver fluids I have the opposite of what you're expecting to hear I assume as a medical student I went to see a young child one lo in the outpatient clinic before the attending the child was due for vaccines and I talked to the parents about getting them on that day the parents said they had reservations about them so I talked to them about their reservations we talked about all of the things they had read on the internet and walked through each point one by one one of the benefits of being the medical student is that you have nothing but time I explained how vaccines are made and how they work they don't have the mercury preservative they once did some vaccines are live but attenuated and others are immunogenic sequences bound to a protein and why we get so many so early that's when you're most likely to be affected by these diseases they were concerned about the effects of so many vaccines at once this is a common concern but we challenge your system less with a vaccine than you see walking around in the world every day and about them making the child sick not possible with anything but a live vaccine and that's why those are attenuated they have such a small disc that unknown immunocompromised individuals should have no problem with them even though you might feel a little sick because we activate your immune system and that's how you feel when that happens the whole discussion took probably half an hour and then they decided to go forward with the vaccines as it turns out most people are just scared and who can blame them with all of the misinformation in the world it's easier to see how parents get to that point but they also are human and when you sit and talk to them like the people that they are intelligent and able to understand your points they respond in a positive way it's one of the moments in medical school that eye reflects on frequently especially when things are tough and I feel like being impatient with people this is a great story as a nurse I see quite a few patients who are misinformed or simply haven't been educated on certain things surgeons of reddit what's the weirdest object you've had to remove from someone's but I wasn't the surgeon I was the patient's family and took care of him in the hospital for his short stay after he had a cue ball get stuck not sure exactly what he thought would be the way to get it out we had a lot of trouble getting it out the conversation of the surgeons trying to come up with a way to get it out was pretty hilarious I'm Ivette dog had eaten a whole roll of poop bags the plastic baggies people used to clean up after their pets on walks then spoiled in his gut and spread from stomach to : his owners realized what had happened when he started pooping out bags and brought him in through ER my coworker went in to cut him and the scene she described was hilarious he would intermittently strain a little and poop out a little section of bags someone would tear them off and he'd be a K for a B then poop out some more like he was dispensing them for himself he did great after surgery a doc here as previous posters suggest it becomes hard to distinguish what is weird anymore so judge for yourselves three lemons about a foot off broom handle a light bulb which did not survive as adventure so many toilet brushes inserted brush and handle first a series of toothpicks any number of bottles aerosol cans et Cie my favorite case was a simple plastic dong wheeze read it in the radiologists report read there is an approximately 15 centimeters cylindrical foreign body and the large intestine extending proximally from the rectum judging by the indistinct outline of the foreign body I suspect it is still on endo tech here had a guy come in with a capped section of PVC pipe filled with mercury because he liked the sloshing when he jerkin his turkin had to call in hazmat and security had to be called when he became violent because they wouldn't give a mercury Laden pipe back the nurse I've seen baseballs loads of fake dongs cans of soda vegetables there should be a public service announcement about using fake dongs in the bum it needs to have balls or some sort of base so it doesn't get lost up there woman's fake dongs don't need them as there is only so far it will go a doctor I worked with once told a man it's okay if you want to put things in your rectum you just have to use the right things without a base without a trace years ago my nurse wife told me a man had an apple removed from his butt but I never understood how this could be possible I often think about this but have never asked her for more details I'll ask her over the table at Christmas dinner tonight oh you can safely get things bigger than an apple in an anus your rectum is pretty stretchy if you go slow an enormous silicone butt plug which broke off at its base inside the patient it was shaped like a soft cone on a stork with the base at the bottom had to remove it in pieces also an Orangina bottle two years before this Bart plug a friend of my miners a surgery resident and during one of her trauma shifts are in my head walked in with an incandescent lightbulb in his colon it was shoved in with the wide part first they were dilating the rectum in an attempt to remove it in the resident in charge of the procedure managed to accidentally separate the metal base from the glass globe which immediately shattered under the pressure of the colon they had to perform a partial colectomy to resolve the complication em is a heck of a drug a foreign body per rectum is a fairly common occurrence in my time rotating in the other most common things have been yuca roots avocados shampoo bottles etc but that lightbulb story is still unmatched I wouldn't have believed that if I hadn't seen the x-ray when I worked in the oh we had a guy come in with a six battery maglite stuck up Main Street the funny part is that it was inserted bulb out and it was turned on so we laid him down prone and the doc spread his cheeks then the room lit up like he just cracked open Marsellus Wallace's briefcase I suppose the light does shine down there back when I was an attack we had this guy come in with a full-sized bottle of vo5 shampoo up his butt of course he said he fell on it in the shower you could clearly see it on the x-ray it was pretty spectacular the best part was he knew exactly what needed to be done to get it out suggesting that this wasn't the first time he asked for conscious sedation and for someone to pull it out well the ad doctor tried that then tried to manually get it out with forceps and was essentially elbow deep in this dude but couldn't get it he had to go to the operating room to get it taken out I bumped into the surgeon a few days later and asked him how it went he joked to me that after we knocked him out I grabbed a plunger out of the bathroom and got it out that way but then told me all he had to do was stick some suction up there till he felt it connect and then slowly pulled it out according to the surgeon this guy never presented any sort of identification or insurance card and demanded to pay his entire bill before he left usually takes some time for bills to get finalized he paid it completely in cash and then left via a taxi bloody heck I feel like if you were that much of a pro you could attach a string to it or something in case it happens again not my story my friend is a radiographer a guy came into the hospital with Barbie dolls up his butt after skanks one came out without too much issue but the other was too far up they were worried that if it was pulled out its arms would open and puncture the bowel so they scheduled surgery the x-ray staff waiting excitedly for news to the surgeon then returned and with a serious voice announced we've found Ken it's a boy not a surgeon but now he well we do I know a lot of cases involving falling on things and other such excuses here are just some of the things I know a Buzz Lightyear action figure a Barbie doll plaster of Paris they wanted a mold of his colon instead it had to be cut open as it was glued shut by the plaster glasses the sight kind jewelry mostly necklaces a cucumber which after proclaiming he fell over in the garden naked and landed on his cucumber patch still had the Tesco wrapper on i.t a light bulb finally on a rather dark note if your fool who slipped something up their black hole cost the bus sucks things in disturbingly well they can't retrieve please for the love of God go to your doctor people have died due to toxic shock due to this crap a guy here died of it in two weeks due to having a rubber stuck up there and never went to his docks your pride can recover but you can't recover from death a Buzz Lightyear action figure that guy had a friend in him not me but a good friend I have known since sixth grade who is an emergency room doctor straight couple in their early twenties and they were using a vibrator on her they switch he said it was his first time and they had Lube everywhere in the slim 6-inch vibrator disappeared all the way up in him while it was still on they waited and tried to get it out on their own and finally went into the air they were going to wait till the batteries died but it was getting late my buddy tried to get it out but couldn't get it he told the guy they might have to do surgery to get it the guy asks my buddy if he has to go and can he call his mom and tell her my buddy Larson says you are 22 and you get to call your mom to tell her you have a buzzing vibrator in your butt that might be perforating your colon then my buddy remembers a guy he went to medical school who works in the same hospital he has freaky long thin fingers like et that might work the other doctor gloves up and gets the vibrator still buzzing out of him just a for your information it is really easy for this to happen so limit the Lube on your hands your colon gets like a suction on it and things go and easy like what happened to these guys I was an RN at a busy Detroit emergency department a homeless woman frequent flyer and drug abuse came in to see us with abdominal pain the x-ray revealed 17 oval-shaped objects in her vaginal space they were removed by a very diligent medical resident armed with a speculum and Magill forceps with the aid of an ultrasound tech 17 Barbie doll heads their removal was made a bit easier by their long hair Jesus freaked people are weird son of the doctor here my dad removed an entire peeled sweet potato from someone's colon once he swore that he had just slipped and fell on it maybe he was just cooking while naked he peeled the potato put it on the floor so he can get something from the fridge and who ops just slips and falls right on the potato we received a patient with horrible pain that felt like constipation he couldn't poop and laxatives weren't helping we soon found out that the blockage wasn't just constipation it was a string of beads several meters long that had become tangled into an ugly bull inside I had to snip it apart and carefully pull pieces of it out when most of it was out his butthole became a rocket engine with diarrhea as the propellant I've seen a small size Fanta orange soda can get pulled straight out of a man's rectum I once had a flatmate who was a nurse she had a patient who came in complaining of stomach pains which was caused by the cucumber he'd shoved up his butt a couple of days earlier apparently the smell caused by pickling a cucumber in your colon is extremely nasty forbidden but pickle I'm not a doctor but my cousin is a color rectal surgeon she's dealt with at least two people who've put light bulbs in their butts MD but not a surgeon on my surgery we had to remove a mini nerf football from someone's butt he kept apologizing and saying he wasn't gay later the attending surgeon told us that it's always the straight guys coming in with stuff up their butts and they always try explaining that they aren't gay I always loved when they come up with a convoluted story about how the FB got there one guy told me with a straight face that he was getting inside his car naked and he forgot there was an avocado on the seat not a surgeon but as a former paramedic I brought in lots of business and feel qualified to chime in I brought a guide to the hospital with severe abdominal pain and rectal bleeding The Dispatch nature was accidental injury not life-threatening per patient the chief complaint was I put something in my butt and can't get it out patient refused to elaborate on something delivered patient to the IDI and was filling out my run report when the charge nurse came into the m's room and said come here you have to see this I followed her to the little x-ray alcove next to his room as a surgical orderly was wheeling him out of the room along with a nurse and the IDI attending the charge nurse flipped on the light board yes I'm going old enough x-rays used to be film based and I stared in confusion for a few seconds I could make out the pelvis both femurs spine et Cie but there were other hard objects shown she pulled down the first x-ray and put up the second which is when I made out a small animal skull and I realized the other objects were bones as well I looked over to the nurse and started is that a rat she finished dude stuck a rat up his butt and was rushed to surgery because it chewed the crap out of him pun intended before suffocating and had perforated his colon in multiple locations he survived to discharge and is presumably still out there My partner and I never did determine the method of administration but I'm picturing one of those Habitrail plastic tube cage setup things brave brave Salemi wings not a surgeon but a former anesthesia technician while in the Army I had a few interesting cases come through top 5 not in order one light bulb not like a lamp light bulb but one of those LED light saber bulbs that you see air traffic controller people you sing to 24 inch double-ended ribbed black dong that was a guy who had it stuck there 3 soda can for Kendall this was actually removed from a woman's bag 5 half a bag yet not a freaking clue how that happened honestly I've thought about it a lot and just never could figure it out girl I now had suspected cervical cancer saw two different doctors before a specialist examined her surrounded by trainee doctors grabbed and pulled on what everyone thought was an inflamed infected tumorous cervix it was a love egg it had been in there for three months Donna what qualifies as weird anymore between myself and friends glass dong vibrating dong travel toothbrush holder Campbell's soup can cucumber Maglite cologne bottle Sean John unforgivable head time capsule lightbulb aerosol can cap the oldest one was literally nothing guy comes in complaining of something stuck up there but bye girlfriend a doctor feels and nothing there x-ray and CT scan says maybe something there I don't feel anything in the operating room I feel deeper and still nothing finally do a full colonoscopy and nothing there not a surgeon but my ex was a policeman and his wife came in because he had something stuck up his butt when my ex asked what the wife said a vibrator exactly like this one and pulled out a 9 inch vibrator from her handbag that was pretty diligent of her to bring the other one for reference Kesava and everybody in my country knows it cause it showed up in the news because someone in the operating room had the great idea to record a video of it and make it viral the patient sued the hospital middle-aged man goes into a Andy with something up his back passage goes into x-ray where he sees my girlfriend what's up there for baking potatoes not the little ones either each one about the size of a fist as he tells it he was at home cooking dinner and slipped in the kitchen and for potatoes went up his ass sure they did wife is a surgeon resident she's had to remove the toilet brush from a man's butt when asked why it was up there he said he wondered how it would feel turns out he also wondered about plungers and toothbrushes too I'm so glad you asked this my favorite story was a guy who came in with and cannot glide up his butt what since you asked timeless joy my mom worked in the ER at Johns Hopkins back in the 70s she pulled a coke bottle out of her Senators but she refuses to say who though because ethics I think most people believes that big companies are up the politicians asses but this is taking it a bit too much directly boyfriend off a girl whose mom is an or nurse from her a hand-carved foot long wooden dong from an 80 year old man's ass story from her father an EOD a live grenade in the fog of the very scared cheating girlfriend of a very angry soldier had a friend in med school whose assignment was to figure out how his cadaver died he found about $5 in quarters up the man's butt don't shove metal up your butt metal poisoning is real but hey $5 is $5 that surgeon here might have an unfair advantage in this thread one time a dog ate its own foot dog came in missing a paw from the wrist down ona had no idea where it went but the dog also had some serious GI signs one x-ray elucidated both problems not everyday you see an abdomen with a little him inside not a surgeon however I knew someone in high school who decided to shove a hex book nano small book toy up his butt I wonder how he's doing swifter puffer little scent bull that puffed lavender mist every few minutes at least it didn't smell too bad mason jar not a surgeon but worked at the hospital dude had a mason jar up his butt and a bunch of safety pins through his dong drugs oh ah nurse here one time helps remove a GI Joe from someone's butt like full-size 12 inch og doll the x-ray was hilarious I did some rotations paramedic not doc in Vegas and a guy came in with an onion stuffed up there the surgeon who was tasked to remove it asked if he would cry once he cut the onion out I've been a surgeon for 15 years and let me tell you weird this thing probably Legos I'm talking Lego people and Lego bricks so many small pieces it's hard for me to watch my kids play with em now knowing what I know internal medicine physician here not sure why everyone thinks surgeons would be the ones removing stuff from people's rectums when it's probably most often the emergency department or us personally the grossest thing I have manually disimpact it was probably a partially digested whole corn on the cob that the patient had eaten several days prior was just pulling out fistfuls of corn for like half an hour but yes I also have definitely seen the occasional light bulb razor blade or rather dong lost India bass probably the best story I have here was during residency mica resident spent a good amount of time searching around for a q-tip that a patient lost up his butt while scratching up there he told the patient he was unsuccessful at finding the q-tip only to be asked why in the world he was expecting to find one turns out he was supposed to be looking in the patient's room mates but had to go to another rectal exam next door must have been an awkward conversation across the curtain later that night medical student not a surgeon but one stroke to a nunchuck the other half left in I slack between the eyes of his girlfriend when it broke she needed stitches remember kids cheap nunchucks you win at a carnival Meg bad sex toys not a surgeon heard this from my father-in-law who used to work doesn't a nurse they had a guy come in who had gotten slammed drunk while he was passed out his friend stuck two double-a batteries up the guy's dong not up his butt his dong from what I remember they had to actually cut the guy's dong open to get them out and stitch it back together those guys were not his friends my grandfather was a proctologist from the 1950s 80s he said the most difficult thing to remove was a crystal salt shaker the most fragile was a lightbulb one year he was late to thanking because someone had decided to stuff the turkey and come to my grandpa to get unstuffed he said the onion was difficult to remove because it kept coming apart layer by layer a guy came in saying that he got mugged by three guys with masks on and that they had placed an object in his but the object was a cylinder made of clay it looked like a home-made vars it broke in the process of removal it had a small plastic bags of coke inside it turned out the guy was trying to smuggle some coke but after 12 hours of not being able to remove it he went to the hospital I'm a med student who just finished his a rotation I was assigned a patient who was known to be one of the resident but hackers on the unit and he was presenting with abdominal pain I was lucky enough to be able to interview him and make some deductions and get some imaging looking through the abdominal x-ray with the attending we discovered that he had an excessively large potato in his rectum that's par for the course but what was hilarious was the attendings reaction I had been working with him for weeks and he was a very straight face dry humor kind of guy but he walked in and pulled up the x-ray looked at the man and said so we need to talk about chewing our food I about lost it in the room and now I tell this story every chance I get serious what is the most unprofessional thing a medical professional has ever said to you when I was pregnant the phlebotomist at the doctor's office told me to stop wearing my seat belt because my brother didn't wear his and he got into a wreck and he would have died if he had worn a belt well my aunt didn't wear her seat belt and got into a car wreck and died because of it my cousin who wore hers only got a few bruises my guess the phlebotomists brother and my aunt cancel each other out 12 years old at summer camp had a high fever nausea and sharp abdominal pain on lower right other kids told me my skin and lips were really discolored went to the nurse she does the hand on forehead tells me to lie down in the back of the infirmary then tells the counselor that I'm faking it and I'll be back out when I'm bored assistant nurse takes my temperature 103 and starts having an argument with head nurse I wake up in recovery at a hospital a day or two later my appendix was gangrenous and had burst a bit I worked at the same camp a few summers later and got into a conversation with the same head nurse and she said that Maya almost cost her job I just took off my shirt and pointed at the eight-inch scar wonder how many other kids she's almost killed it's not like appendicitis along with other stuff you get a camp like Lyme disease dry drowning allergic reactions and concussions is shockingly rare in kids you're not depressed you just need a gap here in Australia went to a psychiatrist because I wanted to kill myself well you don't seem sad I can't really help I had this at 12 went to a child psychiatrist who told me that what on earth would a girl of 12 have to be depressed about I never returned and it seriously affected my ability to talk to anyone about suicidal thoughts I hope this woman isn't still helping suicidal adolescents I broke my femur when I was a kid and when I arrived in hospital the doctor exclaimed that it was impossible that it was broken as it was such a tough bone and swore it was only bruised sprained he then lifted my leg only to have it fold mid thigh around his hand I was rushed off pretty quickly all bone can be broken is like the first thing you have to know as an addict I was a newly minted EMT in to mediate the level between EMT and paramedic and as such had just received permission from the states to interpret people My partner and I get sent to a cardiac arrest along with another ambulance the supervisor of fire engine and two cops pretty standard in my region we were second on-scene behind the fire engine and my partner looked at me as we walked in and just said you've got the airway all right gained one I followed my training to the freakin letter size of the tube check the cuff visualize the vocal cords and the tube passing through condensation in the tube check the number at the teeth capnography secured the tube the whole shebang one of the firefighters checked epigastric sounds negative left lung sounds positive and right lung sounds positive it was a textbook intubation and since it was my first in the field I let out a celebratory yes accompanied by a fist pump we were completely surrounded by family members I would feel much better if an EMT were to celebrate the little things than if they were just to continue with what they were doing I think you're a hypochondriac while pregnant I couldn't stop throwing up my GP told me I was a hypochondriac and I was making myself throw up I lost 40 pounds during my pregnancy and was finally hospitalized for hyperemesis gravidarum when I was 8 months pregnant because I was almost catastrophic aleady hydrated apparently that was just this guy's thing he also told a friend of mine that she was a hypochondriac - turns out she has lupus - hips and two knees later she's doing quite well he can no longer practice medicine because he was caught sleeping with one of his patients that he had been prescribing antipsychotics for but she ophthalmologists assistant kept yelling at me to relax like that gonna help because my eye pressure kept reading high turns out I had high eye pressure disclaimer I am the medical professional here and I understand the severity of this slip-up and that it may be less amusing to some but do try to understand that those office in medicine who encounter health tragedy fairly regularly must cope with humor at times it's meant in a purely benign way this is such a case it was my first clinical rotation in medical school object I was on an outpatient week seeing women who came in for their regular pregnancy checkups and the like I had my Doppler with me that little microphone like thing that we used to hear the fetal heart rate and the uterus well my Doppler battery was low and I knew that I into the patient room Pleasant and professional the pregnancy is going swimmingly and there's nothing but sunshine I apply the gel to her belly and turn on the Doppler the fetal heart rate is a beautiful 150 beats per minute right where it should be then the Doppler runs out of battery and what pray tell do you say when something runs out of battery in a fantastic lesson in the importance of thinking before you speak I reflexively blurted out oh it died the high-pitched what that came out of this poor woman could have shattered glass for miles in a panic I explained that I was referring to the Doppler and RAM to get a second one hearing the heart again she was reassured that her baby was totally fine afterward the woman took it surprisingly well and ended up laughing with me about it lesson learned my god even the most well-intentioned in bedside manner can slip up I am a huge proponent of humanism in medicine because the doctor-patient interaction has dramatic effects on physiology and healing let alone the impact it can make on the human experience in illness plus well it's nice to be nice serendipitously I was later on my outpatient Pediatrics rotation and that very woman came to my clinic with her beautiful healthy baby girl so the story ends well just keep in mind we are humans too and can unwittingly be less than graceful enjoy the material Larry David nah this is a funny well-intentioned silly misunderstanding that was quickly and easily corrected no worries I had an appointment to set up a birth control pill prescription because my periods were complete heck indeed had beaten into submission the nurse who did my medical history got to the appointment reason and started tsk einen told me you shouldn't be here you don't need this come back when you're making love the freak that's horrible advice but the worst part was this was coming from a nurse at a clinic attached to a college so you'd think that attitude wouldn't have lasted long the actual doctor was awesome but that nurse was an obnoxious ignorant [ __ ] and I hate to think how many other patients she treated like that that's also not considering that many people want to start birth control before being sexually active to limit pregnancy risks even if you should still use a condom before you get tested for me it wasn't so much what a doctor said as what they didn't say about six months ago I went into my general practitioner for a yearly checkup I'd been having some weird vision problems but other than that I felt perfectly fine a blood work came back a few days later and I was told to come in and discuss ok little worried now coming talk to my doc and he's got a big smile on his face he hands me my bloodwork results almost every line item it's either way above a way below safe levels and tells me to frame it because it's the single worst blood test result he's ever seen and it's obviously a lab error because if your blood was really this bad you'd basically be on your deathbed and you obviously look and feel fine few new bloodwork is drawn I'm told to wait a few days and they'd let me know once the lab ran the tests correctly but not to worry since lab errors like this happen all the time few days later I get a call from a nurse I'd never spoken to you need to call this number right away she says offering no further details and make an appointment with dr. xxxxX I was so taken aback that I didn't ask any follow-up questions I just hung up and called the number a voice on the other end picked up cancer specialists of my state how may I help you and that's how I learned I had cancer when I was 15 I spent a few weeks in a psych ward for children it pretty much sucked we had no therapy and I saw a doctor exactly twice my second chat with a psychiatrist he asked me how's it going I'm not a one to lie to doctors so I told him pretty much everything how I'm feeling worse then I did before getting admitted that other patients have been aggressive and I'm anxious around them and that I am considering committing suicide after I leave the nice doctor said it was very good I was feeling that way because the hospital is supposed to make us feel awful so we see how good we have it at home I was discharged three days later what makes me angry is that half the patients were from abusive households in children's homes go ahead tell them how much better they have it at home butthole oh my heart that's terrible sometimes I feel like there's no group more universally readily dismissed land children and we are all children once I hope you're doing well my wife and I had a miscarriage and it required her to have the fetus removed via a DNC well they used a vacuum type thing to remove everything but didn't come post to getting it all out it caused my wife to get an infection and she got really sick she got brought back to the hospital to have a second DNC performed in the terr said usually I just stick the vacuum up there and keep sucking until no more of your baby comes out but it looks like we must have left some parts up in there that doctor has zero bedside manners when I was 18 I had a miscarriage the nurse said should have used a rubber I did thanks hey if you're bored later you should take some of those pills and see the new Star Wars my malefactor cool surgeon after getting my wisdom teeth removed here's how to shoot rubber bands like a professional followed by many minutes of lessons when he was already over an hour behind schedule - told my wife when she was pregnant that although it's against policy she would recommend not vaccinating our child when it was born made me freakin furious and of course we have had all the vaccinations done week out it's terrifying how many of those people work in the medical field ugh when I was about 12 I had to go to the doctor for a cough I had to take my shirt off so that he could listen to my lungs or something and when he was done he just casually said to my mum a bit of a late bloomer are referring to the fact that I didn't exactly fill out my training bra and had some leftover baby fat thanks doc I wanted you to get rid of my cough not my self-esteem no I'm sorry you simply can't have taken that many pills when you overdosed I had the reverse well that's basically nothing you didn't even mix with alcohol long way to make me feel like I'm too useless to even kill myself a dare all isn't for people without ADHD it's for college students who need to study after I told him I took a daryl I just what college student is an interesting diagnosis not sure how my insurance company would react to that I went to the emergency room one night because a friend kicked my finger by accident and I definitely heard a snap it was super swollen and really painful because it was just a finger I obviously had to wait for hours not much of an emergency at one point I asked a nurse for some ice to help alleviate some pain she rolled her eyes at me and said I don't even know why you're here finger is probably fine she made me feel like I was wasting everyone's time but I refused to leave got an x-ray done doctor said I was fine gave me a splint sent me home a week later things still didn't feel right so I went back fractured in three places required emergency surgery twice and a year and a half later I have no movement in my finger whatsoever I've been to three surgeons and no one can help me it also really affected me mentally now whenever I want to go to the doctors I always have this nagging voice in my mind like but is it important enough are you wasting someone's time even though obviously I wasn't that night my finger is had a fricked up went in for my first PAP when I was about 16 this doc was the same one that my mom and my sister used and I was freaking out a bit after my sister told me horror stories to get me all worked up anyway there I am leg in the stirrups staring at the ceiling and trying my best to focus on the questions she's asking and not what was about to happen she sticks her finger into my nethers pulls them out and goes mmm juicy now she didn't save in a creepy seductive way but more of a like mmm strawberries I died a little that day went in to get help with my bulimia left with a prescription for diet pills that's not the help I wanted lady when my son was born we had a resident physician who desist the attending she is a one-woman show not a single thing that came out of her mouth was professional kind compassionate or even remotely helpful during labor she would routinely tell us the wrong information tell us my wife was more or less dilated than she really was the nurse or attending would rectify this and would constantly warn us that my wife was getting too sick to deliver and was getting into a dangerous zone with her health the hospital we were at is a level I trauma center known for having a world-leading L&D department eventually my wife had a c-section and this resident would amp her up listing off the possible complications including death brain death paralysis blindness etc it must have been a hundred lie pending altering complications my wife is in tears when the anesthesiologist comes in my wife's blood pressure is through the roof and the doctor asks what's wrong through her tears she tells him he loses his crap he mutters mothersucker then gives us a realistic picture of complications off we go zero complications and a healthy baby next day resident comes in almost at a full run Billy Robbins panting off the chart panting emergency so she looks around for the baby the baby is in with the pediatrician who happens to be the hospital's chief of pediatrics if she's running down the hall trying to find the doctor baby I'm going into a full panic attack we had been having latching problems and the pediatrician was brought in for a routine checkup I'm chasing her she finds the pediatrician this guy is in a golf shirt slacks and is holding my son with a senior nurse neither of the two senior staff look the least bit worried but I can't tell what's going on she screams Billy ragams and he says shut up turns out his bilirubin was in the normal range she had read the wrong file it was for a little girl who was already undergoing light therapy and was due to be discharged the nurse who is Jamaican grabs me and tells me to relax she forces me into a chair hands me some water and is patting my back the chief of pediatrics lights up this resident he goes off telling her she's traumatizing patients and her behavior is unacceptable and that he's speaking with the resident director but so the baby isn't going blind I just sat there short horrified and shaking as I write this my son is tearing his toys to bits and randomly farting then laughing the best resident was this young guy who said I'm young I'm inexperienced so if I'm managing your care you should know that you aren't in any sort of trouble the nurses and I report to your doctor and everything will be okay I had my doctor at the time chew me out because I was leaving my newborn son with his dad while I went to a different state due to work for a few months I just remember her raising her voice a bit and asking me who was going to watch the child while I was gone I gave her a confused look and just pointed to my son's dad who was sitting right next to me she looked shocked and almost repulsed still pisses me off to this day and she was also acting really confused why I was the one that wanted to work and not the dad you would think a female doctor would understand the concept of a woman with a career when a panel of Air Force Base mental health counselors told me my then husband was only abusing me because I don't support him enough and if I would commit more to cooking cleaning and making love to him he would be able to relax and stop abusing me had a small but annoying cyst removed afterwards the doctor asked me if I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior I got a perturbed look and said of course just to diffuse him had a huge swollen gland and ER my arm looked as big as an egg my family doctors eyes got just as big when he saw it sent me to a specialist the specialist said you either have lymphoma or an infection then he walks out of the room without another word leaving his assistants to tell me to come back if the giant swollen gland and ER my arm doesn't shrink he was just so matter-of-fact with no bedside manner luckily it wasn't lymphoma we haven't received the results yet but you probably have cancer or MS I was 15 horrible it's like you've been treated by a doctor house only funny on the screen while in real life it's a pretty ghastly experience you're too young to have endometriosis no I'm 31 of course I'm not too young for this that doesn't even make sense idiot was aware I'd already had surgery for it too then he went on to suggest that I was selling my painkillers when I laughed that off he said maybe my boyfriend stole them from me I stopped laughing and just was like are you freaking serious go freak yourself I wasn't there for pain meds bTW I had an eye infection he just wanted lecture me he can go freak himself I had a hole in my ear in that healed why don't you give it some time if you get hearing aids you will just be reliant on them I've had a hole in my ear and been hard of hearing for the last 25 years same practice different doctor well are you sure it isn't aids that would affect your immune system since she found out I was B everything was aids with her sore throat aids ear infection aids arthritis aids she was very polite about it she was just absolutely convinced I must have AIDS because my medical history included lovemaking with men at the time of several of these I had recent HIV tests on my chart because I have a chronic illness shockingly an immune condition you know one that might affect my immune system so when they run off with tubes of my blood I get all the bonus tests done because you might as well I hit my head and was bleeding when I went to the hospital the doctor was really nice until he found out I was on workers compensation after that he was pretty cold to me he didn't even check me for a concussion he just cleaned the wound stitched me up and sent me away I hit my head while at work so my company's insurance was to take care of it for some reason that made the doctor completely uninterested in helping me when I say he didn't check me for a concussion I'm not talking about an MRI or anything really technical one of my co-workers checked if my eyes were dilated and I was coherent right after the incident so I wasn't too worried but that's basic first-aid stuff and he's not a professional I figured a doctor would check do the flashlight and the eye thing asked if I was was II checked my pulse something the doctor literally just cleaned the wound gave me stitches and sent me away I was lucky I didn't have a concussion because if I did the doctor probably wouldn't have noticed I could have passed out the minute he walked away I've had head injuries before and have taken first aid classes and this doctor just seemed so unprofessional about treating me I'm not asking for special treatment or first-class bedside service here do it by the book bug a dentist I went in for a cleaning and had another appointment to take care of a wisdom tooth you're fat you know that your teeth wouldn't be so bad if he weren't so fat God you Native Americans are all so fat let's discuss what's worse how visibly uncomfortable dental technicians who are all natives the fact the clinic was exclusively for my tribe the way off-color remark she made later about tribal members being poor and how she was better than this or perhaps the fact she just insulted the medical directors grandson it's really sad because they had trouble finding a dentist because we are a disgusting people I guess but she magically found a job in Florida the second time I was there she wouldn't shut up about how she was leaving for this great job in Florida she bragged so much it seemed almost unbelievable almost like it was a total lie and the racist bee was losing her job I should have called her out but I'm sure her texts already knew if you have to brag about moving to Florida your life is pure crap I was probably 16 or 17 and went to my first OB gym the doctors small talk was oh I see you don't have a fur coat because I was clean-shaven never had a male or begain after that what is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you my female doctor now retired once told me I had great birthing hips I'm a male when I was in middle school until 10th grade I would get violent nausea in a time I got hungry it felt like my stomach was on fire and I would miss a lot of school from feeling like crap although I was a good student and wasn't falling behind in any way after a lot of fighting with my mother who accused me of exaggerating she agrees to take me to a mr. inter ologist to be checked out before agreeing to do an endoscopy the gastro accused me of exaggerating because I was a team girl and that's just apparently what young women do he suggested I was just making up these symptoms for attention and then asked me point-blank if I was lying about my pain level to skip school and suggested I had a mental health issue I was trying to cover for I had freaking GERD and severe acid reflux as confirmed by the endoscope II he reluctantly agreed to perform on me instead of letting it go the gastro made a point of angrily telling me that I had the stomach of eighty year old man and must have been intentionally eating in a way to freak up my stomach I have a family history of stomach problems and GERD I don't understand why was so implausible that my brother could have acid reflux at a young age but I must be a hysterical liar when I claimed to have the same symptoms in my teens when I was about four I got diagnosed with child asthma doctor told my mom it was a fault because she decided to have a child despite having asthma herself in the air about six months pregnant with heavy spotting and no noticeable fetal movement idiot doctor is unable to find the baby's heartbeat just looks up at me and says yep probably dead in there he couldn't possibly have said it in a more casual offhand manner note I delivered my son three months later perfectly healthy wife took out two why o daughter to the doctor because she was sick and her behavior seemed to be changing if she couldn't eat or drink our local doctor said that's how kids are sometimes and just monitor her behavior as we were pretty sure there was something definitely wrong we kept seeing different doctors last one said we were acting hysterically and our behavior were a problem five days later our daughters seemed to have a seizure so we went to the hospital our daughter had a brain tumor in the doctor at the hospital said this should have been recognized sooner he was astounded that we've seen five doctors all blaming us as parents to just be acting up over nothing different kind of doctor with a dentist after poking that sharp piece of steel into my not Garriott gums oh come on it doesn't hurt that much after I jumped and said ow I looked at him got up and walked out I now have a very nice dentist he asked me if I felt lonely I said I don't think of myself as lonely he wrote down lonely and underlined it I don't know why but this strikes me as particularly funny as if the doctor looked at you narrowed his eyes and then wrote it and underlined the word I went to get a lump on my groin checked out and had to remove my underpants the doctor started a whole speech about size isn't everything which isn't what I went there for similar thing happened to me when I was 14 I was getting a physical examined during the turn and cough portion of the exam my doctor said don't worry it'll grow more that stung a little bit he said I should be happy carrying around a bit of weight because in drought the fattest cows died last seriously WTF first hospital visit there's nothing wrong with your foot now get your shoe back on and get back to work you freaking malingerer after a solely visual inspection two days of getting smoked all day long second hospital visit why are you walking on that foot it's obviously broken someone get that soldiers some crutches it's all between your ears after missing at least one but probably two crippling vitamin deficiencies by not ordering the right tests it took me two and a half years of thinking I was lazy and pathetic before I went to another doctor and got da most was having the jest of issues I eventually learned were a result of my undiagnosed cancer doctor suggested I should wipe better I went to get an earache checked and the first thing the doctor said was yes so I'm gonna put you on some medicine for the year but we've gotta do something about your face your acne is absolutely terrible thanks doc getting out of the army you are 100 percent healthy my medical record was about six inches thick went to a civilian doctor and they were astonished anyone would say that I am rated 80% disabled I woke up in the hospital and heard a nurse running out saying he's awake the doctor comes into the room and tells me to move my toes I asked them where I am and what's going on he just gets more insistent that I move your toes I asked had gain where I was that was going on he almost yells at me move your toes I said I am moving my toes and immediately he says you will never walk again that's how I found out I was a paraplegic at 21 years old I had been in a single car wreck and was thrown 70-80 feet from the car and my vertebra was dislocated and laying next to another one I don't remember the car wreck but that exchange with the doctor is burned into my brain and that was 31 years ago that is really really freaked I work for Hospital billing and I'll fill no before the patient's does that they will be permanently paralyzed because typically they aren't told until they ask or things have calmed down enough for them to be told in an acceptable way I'm sorry that happened to you I just don't know how you could be in so much pain being so young I'm not going to be able to write you a prescription my response was your [ __ ] I came in because I was hurt at work doing heavy construction I never asked for a prescription in the first place I had assumed I was vetting an x-ray to see if I had broken anything I did a video chat service to talk to a doctor for 15 minutes I told her my symptoms and thought since we were low on time I had been very sick for weeks possible urinary tract infection and respiratory infection also gave my other ideas from my symptoms she told me I had valley fever and told me all about it over chat and we got cut off at 15 minutes I got a final email which should have a prescription in it and was told she actually thought I had somatic symptom disorder aka that I was making all of this up and was perfectly fine her prescription was for a frickin psychologist she told me in detail about my possible valley fever even though I said I hadn't been to the areas she said it was prevalent I made an appointment with my normal doctor and had a few tests ran had a respiratory infection and a freaking kidney infection ten or so days of meds and I was fine my gosh I was so angry at that quack I got the same somatoform Bulls from a Rheumatologist I got sent a fourth finger causing me so much pain I could barely use my hand went to a hand specialist who did exploratory surgery on this painful lump turns out I hired Dupre trans not you'll tangled up in a ligament and that ligament had to be removed and it's required a transplant somatoform this bastard you can't be in that much pain you must have more energy than that turns out the lining of my nerves was being destroyed I was becoming paralyzed painfully I had just gone through my second hip surgery following a car accident the pain was persistent my doctor said on the bright side you'll qualify for a full hip replacement in ten years FML ten more years of this crap and another surgery you're too young to have that pain you're the textbook definition of drug-seeking then refused to do any further examinations of my feet which I specifically came in for but no tests performed just ran her hands over my feet I was in my twenties and my feet started killing me during workouts runs later in the mid 30s saw had doc and he diagnosed me with plantar fasciitis arthritis heel spurs and a few other things finally worked up the courage to work on my mental health problems and asked my doctor for a recommendation to see a therapist his only response was I'm too poor to get a therapist since my health insurance sucked that was a bad day when I had a kidney stone why did you come to the air why didn't you take Tylenol or something this is a waste of resources but he made me cry my ex used to tell me that I was a waste of resources all the time because I'd constantly be making doctor's appointments to figure out what was wrong he felt pretty bad when I told him I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease a couple years later my doctor suggesting that I have a baby because my nether regions were too tight and causing discomfort during lovemaking yes crapper screaming ham and see if that increases my pleasure from age 13 to 24 I suffered with horrible periods menstrual cramps from heck back pain headaches and bleeding so bad I thought I was bleeding to death a few times every Jan I saw showed me that all of that will go away once I had a baby it didn't it turns out that having a baby does not help endometriosis and over arrey insists a tat as a doctor I gotta tell you something that not many people are willing to admit about 10-15 percent of all health professionals I have met during my time in school are just awful human beings who don't belong in medicine they lie cheat and just don't care about people on the flip side you have about 15% of some of the greatest doctors you ever met who follow up with you and care for you like you are their own family 70% fall somewhere in the middle so the truth I'm getting at is that being a doctor is not just the pursuit of those who care for others but a representation of how our society is as a whole not psychologically hurtful necessarily but the most terrifying thing I've ever been told we're going to have to defibrillate you and we don't have time to sedate you they rolled the crash cart with paddles into my room and I said get that thing the Frick away from me and almost cried my mom was in the room with me and was absolutely hysterical thankfully a cardiologist was able to look at my EKG in the nick of time and determined my heart rhythm was stable enough for me to just be transferred to a room for further evaluation without death of relation when I was 21 I went to the doctor for a checkup the doctor asks me to lift my shirt and I do he immediately says egg and makes a look of disgust on his face I was an idiot and was gaining weight too quickly due to this I had stretch marks I've lost the weight and AM normal weight now but I still can't shake that moment this was eight years ago before surgery on my I knee the nurse was telling me how her daughter and I went to the same high school she then peaked under my gown to look at my dong and let out a small laugh I was more shocked than defended but she didn't have to laugh or look at my junk when I was like 5-8 mom took me to the dentist and he was stabbing above and under my tongue and the inside of my cheeks and he said if you cry I am going to start over I started going to a dentist that had come highly recommended by a few different people when I asked him about the possibility of straightening my front teeth he said well you'll never be on the cover of Vogue but I think we can help you out I stopped going to him a few appointments later when he got mad at me for telling him that the filling he did months ago still really hurt I stopped going to a dentist when I said I think the dentist made a mistake on my last filling six months ago it's really uncomfortable the hid' genus told me the dentist doesn't make mistakes my filling fill out two months later to my wife about eight weeks pregnant at an oncologist office after on gin sore polyps she wanted someone to look at doctor you need to have a hysterectomy immediately us shouldn't we wait till the buyer see results come back doctor know in my opinion if you want to live you need to have a hysterectomy immediately turns out it was benign discoloration is normal for Pacific Islanders during pregnancy butthole got results from barsy next day we were told result still following week and here I have the opposite problem have a legit medical reason for needing a hysterectomy but no doctor will agree to it because they don't want to take my choices away I'd really like to know what choices they're talking about because I'm infertile what are you going to do if your boyfriend would rather you had bigger boobs said by the doctor to fifteen-year-old me I was getting a consultation for a breast reduction because sporting G cup was a frickin nightmare still got it no regrets not to me but to my mom doctor said I just let him hide in the bathroom I hid in the bathroom when I got really bad headaches that turned out to be due to a brain tumor doc must have assumed I was masturbating hiding in the bathroom is common for people who get me brains me when I was nine about to go under anesthesia for the first time ever for oral surgery and being extremely scared nurse you need to grow up I've had kids half your age not be as much a scaredy cat as you my mother was not by any means a helicopter parent with the thrashing she gave that nurse the other nurse who chuckled at it and the doctor who came in was insane and then she took me out of that office the surgery was not a time-sensitive thing just to fix a soon-to-be impacted adult tooth and for ice cream I had the surgery done at a different office with a star that had far better bedside manners doc I can tell you're incredibly sick by your skin me looks in the mirror oh no I always look like this doc no it's gray and sallow in the heavy dark circles under your eyes you look clearly very unwell me really I swear I a ways look like this without makeup I really did look exactly how I do on a daily basis apparently deathly it wasn't so much what they said to me but their staff made me wait six hours with a dead organ inside me acting like I was being a drama queen because I was in so much pain the suggestion that I had confused a panic attack for a seizure to clarify this was my first grand mal seizure my father had them prior and my mother witnessed both in having one and myself having mine according to her it was identical I even hit all the textbook marks of having had an epileptic seizure from the memory loss to the postictal fatigue the emergency room doctor didn't run any tests or examine my family history of epilepsy he simply noticed the anxiety disorder in my medical history and assumed that I was just having a panic attack and wrote it off as my only issue being that I'd hit my head talking to my psychiatrist later about the incident he confirmed based only on my account corroborated with mom's details where I couldn't fill in that I had definitely had a seizure and he sent the orders for further testing himself he also couldn't refrain from saying what the Frick is wrong with this doctor I'm glad that at least one of my doctors took my seriously yup many epileptics have these blow-off diagnoses mine started with absolutely insisting I was doing drugs they refused to believe me when I told them I never touched a drug then they started berating my film safer putting stress on me you're 19 you shouldn't be having problems with anxiety I agree that's why I am here find out what's wrong you lazy butt it's unethical for women who have never given birth to a child to get an IUD you will change your mind about not wanting kids you are too young new doctor took my height measurement and jot sit down before issuing me a very casual puck tall for a woman I am a bearded man he was just stating a fact that height would in fact be tall for a woman i F was in high school seeing the doctor for a sports physical for basketball I was 140 pounds and 5 feet 9 inches he told me you need to lose a few pounds and then you will make the wrestling team while winking that comment about my weight as a teenager and has stuck with me for years went to the emergency department with my friend who was nine months pregnant you any day the doctor asked which one of us was the pregnant one my friend was laying down on the chair bed and I was sitting in a chair I started hema laughing because I was so mortified what chronic illness are we sick with today I was 12 years old puberty was kicking my butt I was depressed and constantly sick because my home life was in shambles but my mother dressed nice and was a well-known figure in the community so I was faking the illnesses I guess anytime a kid acts out for attention I pay attention because it means something is going on but that doctor just shamed me into the pit of despair I've had trouble trusting any medical professional since hadn't been able to eat in days throwing up constipation for a week and massive stomach pain finally my girlfriend convinces me to go to the hospital get checked into the urine taken to an examination room my girlfriend comes with male doctor comes in looks at my chart and says he has to give me an anal examination barely given time to even say anything before he has large fingers into my bum in front of my wide-eyed girlfriend he then says you have prostatitis this can happen when you are active love life with multiple partners and walks out I've never cheated on anyone and now had to explain that while still being sick went and saw my PCP the next day and turns out I had a stomach infection I don't know what's wrong what do you want me to do about it while I was crying on the doctor's table asking that they helped me with my pain I went ten years with an undiagnosed condition I was repeatedly told it was just cramps and accused of pill shopping turns out I had a cyst the size of a tiny fruit that was twisting one of my ovaries it wasn't just cramps and it could have gone septic if it ruptured you jagz this cat is shocked that you hadn't liked this video yet liked it fast so they can calm down if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 51,427

Rating: 4.74613 out of 5

Keywords: doctors of reddit, doctors, doctor, emergency room, hospital, patient stories, doctor stories, doctor stories reddit, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: faL9XyEVGyc

Length: 80min 34sec (4834 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 10 2020